Nothing Dry Abt The Way I Hump

Would let him make me Juno any time any day

tweaking out i love hot nerds

“slut era” i whisper to myself as i rot in my bed, sick like a frail victorian child

​if he’s not like this I don’t want him

me acting like I just didn't read the most filthy nasty hot smut fic of my life

Getting laid in these

And I’ll hold your hands when I say this: my favorite trope has to be Theo Nott x russian girl. I believe the Italian bf and russian gf pairing is the hottest pairing possible.

I imagine them going to Moscow every winter break, to visit her family and spend the most fairytale-like winter there, walking the streets, buying her a new fur coat, dressing up for a night out in the Bolshoy Theatre, partying with her russian friends (and do believe me Russians know how to party), maybe inviting the whole slytherin gang too.

They’d then take a 3 day trip to St. Petersburg to see the art exhibition at the Hermitage museum (I just know they both are massive art enjoyers) and maybe do some sightseeing and walking along the streets of the old city center.

Now thinking of how they met…

Theo turned into a puddle the first time he saw her, some animalistic urge - to get this woman to be his - gnawing at him. He yearned, in fact. It didn’t help that she was straightforward, confident, HOT and so so feminine, it’s like she carried a bag of pheromones with her. Her Russian background, though, and her formidable father kept the guys at bay. Not Theodore though. My boy was cooked the day he heard her swear in russian.

As tough as she may have seemed, she couldn’t resist his Italian charm (can’t blame her). Some pining on both sides and one angry love confession after they became inseparable. And trust me when I say they matched each others freak perfectly.

pleeeeessssee could we get some more of theo nott x russian girl ? they have so much potential!! 💕

Thank you for askingggg, I love them! I have this cute little blurb in my head, but y’all are so welcome to send me your ideas 🫦

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The best thing about winter holidays is probably spending them together in her huge mansion-ish countryhouse. As any Russian with self-respect she has sauna in her house and it’s safe to say that the boys spend an unhealthy amount of time there. Towels hanging low on their thighs, sweat dripping off their lean bodies - the image is straight out of heaven (or hell if you will).

It’s a routine, you see, first, they have to sit in the sauna for at least 20 minutes, second, they run out to skinny dip into an ice-hole. And they’ve gotta do at least three reps of that. She’s taught Theo well and now he’s the one beating the living shit out Mattheo, Enzo, Blaise and Draco with a wet birch sauna whisk and throwing snowballs at their bare shivering bodies.

While they goof around, she’s in the kitchen with Pans. George Michael’s vinyl overlaps with boys’ distant cries. Pansy blubbering about her new hairdresser. The russian is wearing her apron and making baked quince for a dessert. Honey drips off the fruit and the smell of cinnamon and cloves fills the house. It’s something Theo came to absolutely love, especially kissing after it, your lips tasting so sweet, it’s like a drug.

This time the boys finished just as she was sprinkling cinnamon on top of the baked quince halves. Large hands locking her from the back, Theo’s chin on top of her shoulder. “Il tuo ragazzo cazzuto ha appena preso a calci nel sedere questi ragazzi nella sauna. You proud of me, doll?” (Your badass boyfriend just kicked these guys’ asses in the sauna)

She only smiles and humms in response, too concentrated on the task in front of her. Suddenly his sly hand is making its way to the honey and she is fast to slap it away. “Don’t you dare.” He’s chuckling and faking a pout: “Fine, fine…..my girlfriend is so feisty and evil. Hot.”