Is That How God Feels? Are We All Just God's Original Characters?

My wife and I have a little game we play called "Speaking From Ignorance."

To play Speaking From Ignorance, all you need is a phone with a voice recorder, and another person who knows considerably more or considerably less about a topic than you do. The topic can be anything: from "how to bake a quiche" to "what happens in the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies" to "who is Florence Pugh" to "how does the traveling salesman problem work." All that matters is that one of you has a firm grasp on the material, and one of you absolutely the fuck does not.

Then the person who knows about the topic turns on the recorder, and says to the person who knows barely anything: "Hey - tell me everything you think you know about [X]."

The speaker is then not allowed to ask any questions. Nor is the expert allowed to volunteer any information. The expert is allowed to pipe up with a faintly incredulous "Oh--really? Do you--do you think so?" from time to time, but for the most part, the expert's job is just to sit there and make encouraging sounds while the speaker digs their own grave.

This is never not funny.

The reason you record it is because, very often, the first thing the speaker wants to do after finishing the recording is find out how you actually make a quiche, or whatever. Then you both get to go back and listen to how wrong they were.

We have a small library now of Speaking From Ignorance recordings, and I'm going to be listening to them until I'm eighty.

Bane holding Dick dressed as Batman: I promise I will break your back as well

Bane attempts to snap dicks spine

Dick: *bends*

Bane: *straightens Dick back and tries to snap dicks spine over his knee*

Dick ‘I wanted to be a contortionist in the circus’ Grayson: bends to accommodate shape of knee

Bane: wut

Dick: … I’m Batman?

Bane: …

Dick: idk man it seemed appropriate for the moment

Bane:….

Skibidi die.

‘‘Great. Nice job, real nice job,’‘ Bucky muttered to himself as he turned to collect himself and take a breath before making his way over to Peter and kneeling down in front of him. ‘‘Hey, look at me, hey,’‘ Bucky coaxed softly as he guided Peter’s hands down from his face, taking in his bloodied face and wet eyes. ‘‘I was scared too. I’m sorry I yelled. I didn’t want you to get hurt-’’

‘‘I didn’t want that either!’‘ Peter cut in, shifting closer to Bucky as he sniffled.

‘‘I know, baby. I know,’‘ Bucky soothed before craning his neck to press his lips softly against Peters.

Steve was supposed to be Santa for the Stark Industries families Christmas party. He volunteered, does every year, and honestly, it just makes sense for Captain fucking America to be Santa.

This year, however, shit happened and Steve got called off on a mission last minute. Bucky, ever the Saint (in Steve’s and… no one else’s opinion. Maybe one other persons opinion) said he’d fill in. Their measurements are roughly close enough for him to fit the suit.

Tony wasn’t thrilled about the development, but, well, he was in a bind and Bucky was wiling and able and he had it on good authority from Sam that the centennial was, shockingly, really good with kids, actually.

Of corse, because Bucky’s life is a fucking joke, Peter had volunteered to be Steve’s elf like he did the last few years, too. His naturally delightful disposition and lean, short, stature just made it make sense. And Peter was just a sweetheart like that.

Of corse, for Bucky this was an incredibly amusing turn of events.

“Oh my god. You look ridiculous. You’re my elf?”

“I’m Steve’s elf. And you’re one to talk.”

Peter tried not to snicker at Bucky’s appearance.

“What, this isn’t doing it for you?”.

Fake white beard, coke bottle glasses, fat red suit. “I’ve never been more turned on in my life” he deadpanned.

“And here I said we’d never try role play”.

“Bucky!” Peter hissed.

“Okay doll, okay, I’ll be good, I’ll be good.”

“Good. Dont want to get yourself on your own naughty list this close to Christmas, do you?”

“Peter. we are both Jewish.” Bucky chuckled.

“Okay. Let me rephrase. You don’t want to be on my naughty list.”

“Well, that depends on what my punishment will be” Bucky purred.

“Okay you are without question the world’s horniest Santa. Let’s go. We’re gonna be late.”

“You’ve got it doll”.

Later that night, no one is surprised by the photo Clint sends the group chat of one Santa kissing one of his elves with a beer bottle in his hand.

Couldn’t have changed first? How the fuck am I explaining this to my kids?

This is like the fucked up gay version of i saw mommy kissing Santa Claus Sam teased

why were your kids still at the party at 2 am? Came buckys quick response.

Fair enough. Dare I ask why you’re still up at 4 am if you and Peter left at 3?

‘🤐’ was Peter’s answer before taking Bucky’s phone out of hand, and demanding he come back to bed.

the boys are on a donut date <3 (the bag Jason is holding has bagels for whenever Peter decides he's had enough sugar)

just wanted to draw them in their civies and Dog in all her glory cause it feels like I haven't actually drawn consistently in forever

inspired by Existential Crisis Mode by @luciaintheskyainthi

feels like fake news

i like the term "sworn enemies" it's like marriage vows but evil