Ranking The Best Things I Have Heard Surgeons Say Mid-surgery:

Sorry if this is an annoying question, but I think I remember you saying that abbadon was a trans-man? (Or trans-masc?) If so, does this ever come up, or is it just a fun fact for the audience to know?

abaddon is a trans man, yes! i believe that miiiiiiight be in his carrd bio, but i don't wanna go look at said bio until i have the energy to do whatever revamping i deem necessary, so i'm not sure at the moment.

specifically, the name for abaddon's identity would be "agender male". some people would describe the experience as being "mostly agender, a little male", but for abaddon it's more like... "male, but not that way". if asked about their own gender, of course, they would just say male — for them, gender is just another social construct they don't really understand or care for, but they do know the impact it has on how people perceive them, and further ostracization would be very detrimental to their goals. they don't even tell people their pronouns, usually; they just don't correct "he" or "they" when they come up xD

i'd say that abaddon's transness doesn't come up suuuuper often in the story, or at least it's not planned to? (besides some drama with cross down the line, that is, and maybe some discussion with killer.) i could see it being mentioned during any sex scenes, not just because "hey i might not have the genitals you're expecting" is an appropriate thing to bring up to someone you want to bang, but because abaddon, being an asexual trans man, has some pretty significant vaginal atrophy that he's absolutely uninterested in getting treated — which of course means that vaginal penetration isn't really possible for him.

...and for reference on that last note, because i don't see people talking about this a lot with transmasc characters: vaginal atrophy isn't something you necessarily need to get treated, provided your personal symptoms don't bother you. (which they probably won't if you don't plan on having sex or masturbating vaginally.) vaginal atrophy just means that your vagina isn't getting "enough" estrogen (something that also happens to post-menopausal people) and therefore kind of shrivels up into "do not disturb" mode, which involves being smaller, dryer, and more easily irritated. of course, everyone's body is unique so the symptoms of vaginal atrophy can be more uncomfortable to some people than others, in which case it's pretty easy to treat with some topical estrogen cream — but since i've seen "atrophic vaginitis" thrown around a bit as a scary buzzword by people who undoubtedly confuse "atrophy" with "necrosis", i thought i'd take a second to clarify.

if you're asking this because you're worried about transphobia against abaddon being a significant plot point, though, don't worry. most of TAU's cast are monsters, and monsters in TAU barely understand what transness is, let alone have a negative opinion on it. the exception to this is probably just X!Gaster, but at this moment i'm not even sure if he'll show up in TAU by any other way than passing mentions xD

an assortment of utmv sketches. all really quick doodles inbetween uni work so its messy

mostly dream and nightmare because i loove tragic siblings

Negativity and Death go along🥀🥀

(me trying to offset all the lack of content they have)

Close-ups

Peace and delusion

Nightmare and Dream’s first meeting after Dream was free of stone wasn’t as pleasant as Dream hoped it’d be, it was in fact, way worse than he could’ve ever imagined

This is Jim Sinclair, at the time going by Toby. They are a neuter, asexual and intersex enban, and a seminal autism activist. They have been an educator on transneutral nonbinary identity, non-binary transition, the anti binarist position and intersex issues for decades. This is an interview with them from the 1980s, talking about their experience as a non-binary/genderqueer person at a time where the community was just coming together.

"In a 1997 introduction to the Intersex Society of North America, Sinclair wrote, "I remain openly and proudly neuter, both physically and socially."

Nonbinary people have always existed, and will always exist. Happy Trans History Week! 💛🤍💜🖤

I forgot abt this account :D but just thought I’d share some sketches on my baby Cresent

@bunnydracula

gofundme.com

Donate to Support Mohammed's Family in Gaza, organised by S G

I’m a grad student in NYC organizing this fundraiser for my friend Mohammed and his family in Ga… S G needs your support for Support Mohamme

anybody else have like. public and private pronouns. like yeah strangers can use he or she for me idc but if you're a friend im expecting they/them only. and if you're a close friend you unlock the super secret rights to use it/its (exclusive) (rare drop)

from the comments

???: denji ...

Denji: WHA--WHO ARE YOU??

???: i'm the gayness devil, Denji

Denji: WHY ARE YOU SMALL

???: not enough people are homophobic anymore … i need you to spread homophobia, Denji. You need to spread homophobia

Denji: i… um… i don't think i can do that

???: i'll show you a boob

Hai!! Hope everything is alright ^^

So I was thinking about their designs again and (if I recall correctly) you mentioned awhile ago you wanted to change some things with their refs, so I’m curious what you would add or change to their designs?

ahh, i forgot to follow up on that!

mostly i was just unhappy with killer's outfit(s), horror's general shapes (looked a little too fanon for me), and the specifics of abaddon's palette. those are all things i corrected on their 3D models xD

there's still a lot to do — i need to figure out how to animate/switch between textures to finish killer (mostly for his tears and makeup), and i obviously haven't rigged everyone yet (nor do i know how to get their faces set up in a more natural "default" expression; i know there's a way to set up a library of faces, but idk how yet xD), but as for the color schemes and details of the outfits i think i've fixed them!

i also still need to do all the props... i did abaddon's phone and polearm just as a test, though, and i think they turned out cool:

might still need to adjust some things; i think the polearm needs to realistically be a bit longer, and i'd also like abaddon's soul to actually be able to show "levels" of fullness as they absorb mana. i think i know how i could approach that, but i'd like to know more about textures first so i don't do things some unnecessarily hard way xDD

killer also has more outfits cuz he's a lil fashionista:

rn i'm not sure about the "earrings", but once i can figure out the textures and finish up the details with his face, i think it'll tie together nicely!

idk; like i said, there's still a lot to do, but it's been nice to work on something that isn't work related. it's cool seeing them slowly come together uwu