I’m Not Going To Tell You What It Is, Just Take A Stab At It. 

So you’ve got this bitch-ass fitted sheet that you would normally pile into a ball and shove into a closet so you won’t have to deal with it, yeah? Well. Quit acting like a piece of linen is better than you are. You can make a fitted sheet bend to your will. And here’s how…

First, put your sheet on the floor. Stand above it for a few seconds so it knows who’s boss.

Then, put your hand in the lower left corner so that it’s inside out. Do the same to the lower right corner.

Now, your lower left and right corners of the fitted sheet should be inside out. (Shoutout to Amy Poehler, love your work).

Then, take the lower left corner (that’s still inside out) and tuck it into the upper left corner. It should look like the picture above once you’re done. Then, do the same with your right corners.

It should look something like that. Right now, she’s your friend at the end of a good night out. Doesn’t look really bad, but you know she deserves better. 

Pull at the corners until you get something like this shape, as it makes it easier to fold. You’ve given your friend some plain white bread and a glass of water. She’s looking much more presentable now.

Now, pull in at the elastic until you make a rectangle. You’ll want to tuck and smooth the excess fabric away from the elastic seams and towards the closed edge of the fitted sheet.

Once you’ve got a (semi) neat rectangle, fold the the top of the sheet down about a third of the way through. I like to fold the upper part of the sheet down first, because it’s not as straight of an edge as the bottom. You can find your own meaning within that description.

Now, fold the lower portion of the sheet on top of the part you’ve already folded down.

Fold the left side of the sheet into the middle, and then fold the right side of the sheet on top of what you just folded. 

Congratulations. You just made a fitted sheet your bitch.

Honestly, after the last four years of lunatical bullshit, it’s really, really hard to look back and understand just how improbable bordering on surreal the idea of “President-Elect Joe Biden” is

not to be overshadowed by the US election results the german government just decided to file for divorce

happy International Asexuality Day everyone!!! :’)

tired and worried reminder that voting for Joe Biden is not saying you approve of genocide, because not voting for Joe Biden makes it easier for Donald Trump to get elected and Donald Trump wants to do more genocide than Joe Biden

some genocide or more genocide is a repulsive and invidious choice to have to make when what you want (like any decent, reasonable person) is no genocide - your feelings of anger and distress and revulsion about that are completely understandable and justified

BUT that's the choice you have to make - not going for the some genocide option makes the more genocide option more likely. The way the system is set up means that a choice not to vote doesn't send a message, it's the absence of a message. It looks and acts the same as the choice of someone who doesn't care about anything at all.

and please consider that some of the posts you see telling you that voting for Biden is the same as approving of genocide, appealing to your natural feelings of anger and distress and revulsion, may very well be from a Russian troll farm whose whole job is to manipulate you

because that has happened on this website before and it helped Donald Trump get elected the first time

jurassic park but it's tiny elephants and nothing goes wrong 🥺

I HATE DATAMINING I HATE 2FA I HATE CONFIRMING MY EMAIL I HATE (*REQUIRED) I HATE COOKIES I HATE GIVING MY FIRST AND LAST NAME I HATE SIGNING IN WITH GOOGLE I HATE DOWNLOADING THE APP I HATE ALLOWING APPS ACCESS TO MY FILES MY SOCIAL MEDIA MY CAMERA I HATE TARGETED ADS

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET