Iclairus - Little Slice Of My Internet

I don’t want realism […] I’ll tell you what I want. Magic!

Tennessee Williams, from ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’

Cursed Dream SMP chat text that I have saved in my gallery for who knows what reason

w. wait. hold on a second. are. sharks whales????????

Nope! Sharks and whales are VEEERY different. They haven’t shared an ancestor since... well.... since the devonian, I suppose. That was over 450 million years ago!

See, it’s...

Oh, bother. Alright, fine, I’ll do an infographic. It’ll be easier to explain, because there’s a lot of stuff to digest.

Let’s go back in time to.... THE CAMBRIAN!!

Disclaimer: I made this in like an hour while slapping together what I knew about these two animals and decorating it with cute images. It isn’t totally accurate, and I’m simplifying a lot for ease of reading. Please don’t eat me, I’m not a bio major!

Transcript below the cut!

[Transcript start: The image is a simple-looking infographic with a green background and chalk-like white lined drawings of various fish.

The Cambrian Explosion, which took place about 541 million years ago, featured a whole bunch of neat stuff crawling around. This included things like: 

Opabinia - a shrimp-like organism with lots of side-fins and a tuby-like appendage which it used to scoop things into its mouth

Trilobites - the ancestor of arthropods, which we consider ‘bugs’ these days.

Dickinsonia - an organism which looks a lot like a leaf, with a middle section and ray-like parts coming out of it and forming most of its body. 

Andsome of the first fishes - the jawless fish, who were our earliest ancestors. The jawless fish resemble lamprey eels - things which don’t have a moving jaw bone.

During the Devonian period (approximately 490 million years ago), the fish line evolved jaws, which was great for them, because they could now smile winningly. (And eat stuff better.) This was the last common ancestor shared between sharks and whales.

The jawed fish evolved into two groups - one was the cartilaginous fish (or fish which have no bones, only cartilage, except for their teeth) - and the other was bony fish, which had a skeleton. These body fish were technically whale ancestors - because the group eventually evolved the species which first came up on land. These were creatures similar to lungfish, who were able to process oxygen out of water and could move themselves through mud using their flippers.

Meanwhile, the shark ancestors continued their lineage in the oceans and evolved into many more funky shapes, including rays (like stingrays) and skates.

As for the fish on land - they were the ancestors to what we know today as the tetrapods - the things which eventually became the amphibians, lizards, dinosaurs... and mammals! 

One of these mammals was the whale ancestor, which looked quite similar to what we think of as a regular land animal - it had four limbs, and a body plan not dissimilar to dogs, cats, etc. Although it could walk on land, it decided to make an evolutionary U-turn and go back into the water again.

They evolved to be optimized for swimming, and eventually lost their hind limbs. They still needed to breathe air, though, and they are still considered mammals, because they birth and nurse their young! 

This begs the question: If sharks and whales aren’t related to each other that much, why do they look so similar?

That’s a great question! That’s because of something we call Convergent Evolution.

It turns out some shapes just work really well when you’re trying to swim in water. Having fins, flippers, and being fish-shaped just gives you advantage, so many water dwelling creatures end up evolving similar bodyplans - like whales and sharks did.

There’s still a reliable way to tell the two apart, though. Check their tails! See if you can tell the difference.]

Me, looking a Minecraft sheep in the eyes: I want to pet you but can not

Minecraft sheep: beeh

Me, crying: you are full of love

The Train Station

(Also posted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38088436)

An older woman stands on an old and overgrown wooden station platform, waiting for a train to round the bend into the station. It’s foggy out, so foggy she finds herself unable to see anything past the platform and the bend where the tracks come from. In the corner of her mind is the faint memory of drifting onto the foggy platform and exchanging some coins for a one-way fare at the ticket booth.

She’s not alone in waiting, but she ignores all others in favor of looking at her watch. The hands don’t appear to be moving but she feels a strong anxiety in looking at the watch face.

“The train is late.” She mutters to herself, trying to explain away her stab of anxiety. “I don’t need to take a late train.”

She looks again at the watch with a frown. Making up her mind, she turns and walks through the crowd to the ticket booth. The young man stationed there has his feet up on the counter, leaned back with his hat over his eyes. Soft snores rise up every few seconds from under the hat. The woman huffs a sigh and rasps loudly on the window, startling him awake.

“Excuse me,” she said, but her tone held no politeness. “The train is late. I don’t even need to take this train, and I would like a refund on my ticket.” The man sits up, rubbing sleep out of his pale eyes and readjusting his hat. He takes a moment to look out over the station before leaning back into his chair.

“The train will be coming along soon, ma’am.” He mumbled sleepily.

She scoffed. “But I don’t need to take the train! I’m not sure why I wanted to take it in the first place, but I changed my mind. I don’t want to take the train. I would like my refund. Please.” She emphasized the last word like it was all she needed to get her way. The man just shrugged.

“Train’s coming. You got a ticket; you get on board. Look there.” He pointed down the tracks into the fog. She turned to see a bright headlight, a train following close behind. It emerged from the fog to come around the bend, breaks squealing as it slowed to a stop at the platform. Its cars were completely empty.

The woman resisted the childish urge to stomp her foot out of irritation at the whole situation. She wasn’t going to admit she was wrong.

“Fine!” she snapped. “I’ll take the damn train. Your customer service is terrible! You lazy kids nowadays. I should report you.” The man looked unbothered and slumped back into his chair to resume his nap. The sight only further irritated the woman, and she stomped off to join the others boarding the train.

She stood in the line as the conductor took tickets from the passengers. The conductor wore so much black that in the foggy station they looked almost like a shadow. People around her seemed to drift in and out of line with no real organization. She refused to look them in the face, their bodies like ghosts out of the corners of her eyes. She shoved past a few, who made no noise of objection as she did so.

“This train is late!” she exclaimed loudly to the conductor. “I came here to take the train, I expected it to be on time. This is unacceptable.”

The conductor offered her an apologetic look that looked out of place on their bony face. “There were more passengers today than normal ma’am.” They said in a soft tone.

The woman huffed. “That’s not an excuse. The train is empty! And this is your job, you do it every day! Shouldn’t you be able to do your job right?”

The conductor simply tilted their head and offered a small smile. “Apologies ma’am. Are you ready to board? I understand you are upset, but you are holding up the line I’m afraid.”

The woman scoffed. “I don’t know, are you going to do your job and get me where I need to go? You need to run a tighter schedule. This is ridiculous.”

The conductor sighed and shook their head. “This sort of attitude isn’t going to get you anywhere ma’am.” They said in that same soft tone. “If you aren’t ready to board, I suggest you wait a bit longer on the platform. But right now, you are disrupting the other passengers who are just trying to get on board.”

The woman glanced around at the people in line behind her. Her eyes slid off their faces like water off a duck’s back but seeing that no one else was making a deal out of the lateness of the train she felt a bit embarrassed at making a scene. She turned back to the conductor, who was waiting patiently.

“I have old eyes and waiting for so long on this foggy platform didn’t help. Now you get here late and embarrass me. I have rights as a customer! You should do a better job to make your customers happy.” She said with an air of entitlement.

The conductor didn’t rise to any bait. “Alright ma’am. Would you like to board now then? I can show you to a seat.”

“Well can’t I get some sort of compensation for being made to wait? Some decent customer service?”

The conductor shook her head. “We don’t do anything like that ma’am. Either you get on or you don’t, but everyone paid the same fee to board.”

The woman though for a few seconds before trying again. “Can I get a refund then? There are other trains, I could just take my business elsewhere. Just fix this.”

The conductor leaned against the door to the train car. “Good luck with that. This is a train station ma’am, I’m not sure what you would have me do. If you don’t get on this train, you’ll have to wait for the next. Or you can hand me your ticket and hop on the train and be on your way.” They said, soft and slow like they were taking to a wild animal.

“That’s not good enough.” The woman said crossing her arms across her chest. “I’ve been waiting for so long and I have places to be. Can’t you just do something for me? What about customer satisfaction?”

The conductor opened their mouth to speak but was cut off by the woman’s rambling.

“I’ve been so stressed out and I just want to get where I’m going. Can’t you just find me a seat away from others or something? I’ve never been on a train, but I don’t trust people on trains. I want to sit by myself. Can you do that? Do something?”

While she rambled, the conductor had started taking tickets from other passengers as they slipped past her into the train car. She attempted to glare at them, but they were gone before she could get a good look at their faces.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. This train will be leaving soon, with or without you. That’s a choice only you can make, ma’am.”

The lady’s anger drained out of her body as frustrated tears filled her eyes.

“I’ve been waiting so long.” She choked out, trying to hold back tears. “I’ve been here in the fog on this falling apart platform, and no one is helping me! I just want to be on time and now I’m going to be late!” a few traitorous tears fell from her eyes. “Don’t you understand? I can’t be late! I can’t be!” she broke down in sobs as the conductor gestured to the few left in line to wait a moment. Carefully they circled their bone arms around her and gently coaxed her into the train car, slipping the ticket out of her hand and into the handful of others they had collected.

“Hush now, it’s okay. You’ll still be on time no matter what.” The conductor pressed a handkerchief into her hands as they lowered the woman into a seat by the window. With one final smile, the conductor slipped away to get the other passengers boarded onto the train.

The woman slowly stopped crying at rested her head on the cool glass of the train window. A few more passengers boarded the train before she heard the voice of the conductor ring though the car. “Now leaving the station. Thank you for riding today.”

As the train slowly started to pull away from the station, the woman saw that some people had stayed behind, although her view of them was quickly blocked as the train turned the conner into the fog. Suddenly she was aware of a figure sitting next to her. Turning, she met the eyes of one of the passengers who had taken the seat next to her. He seemed pale, no just skin but his whole person, like all the colors of him had been dulled.

“Hello.” He said, in a voice that struck a chord of familiarity in her.

“Hello.” She responded, suddenly feeling a bit shy. “Have we met before?” she asked. “You seem familiar.”

His face took on a thoughtful expression as a hand pushed his hair out of his face. She noted the wrinkles on his face and figured they must be around a similar age.

The passenger gave a shrug. “I can’t say I’ve seen you in the station before. I’ve been waiting around for a bit. I’ve never gotten on the train before today.” The woman studied him, the familiarity he carried making her heart ache with fond memories she couldn’t quite remember.

She leaned towards him. “What changed this time?” She whispered.

He frowned and said, “I don’t know. I was waiting for a while at the station. The train came and went a few times, but I just wasn’t ready to get on yet. Today I felt I had to.” Then his face broke out in a smile. “Glad I did, or I wouldn’t have met you.”

The woman smiled back before her face fell. “Where are we going?” she asked, suddenly worried when she realized she didn’t know the destination of the train. The passenger turned his whole body to face her in the seat and slipped his hand in to hers. When she looked down, she saw her hands too had that pale, dull tone. Looking back at the passenger’s face the woman noticed that he looked nervous as well.

“I don’t know.” He said honestly. “Does it matter?”

The woman pulled back. “Of course it matters! We got one-way tickets!”

The passenger’s smile returned, but it was sadder. “I don’t think the destination is important. In the end, we are just moving on. And that’s okay. The train won’t be late, and neither will we. We got on the train today, so it must be our time to move on.”

The woman again smiled back, a smile his eyes had seen many times before, although he didn’t know it.

“Well,” she started, “Your right. It doesn’t matter where we are going, only that we are going together. It feels right.”

As a blinding white light began to fill the train car, the woman stayed calm and for the second time in their intertwined existences, the last thing the two passengers were concerned about was seeing each other’s smiles one more time.

And somehow, that was enough.

Ryan 'I'm a ghost hunter but I don't want to see them' Bergara

Disney’s support of the Don’t Say Gay shit is reprehensible to begin with but I think it’s a little strange that the solution proposed by some people is to yell at Disney until they say they support LGBT people and not question why the funny cartoon company can dictate human rights

history | powerful women

Alright

I want to talk about how cryptozoology is often toxic for Natives interested in it. I personally love cryptozoology, but I'm often uncomfortable while going through it because of how much content with w*ndigo, sk*nwalkers, or thunderbirds in it. So I can't stress enough to those involved in cryptozoology, please stop adding these spirits in with cryptids. Mothman, Jersey Devil, Nessie are all cryptids, but not Native spirits.