It Has Begun

please make my birthday not full of crying

hi hi! my name’s Jessica and I’m a black trans girl who works primarily with homeless queer youth. my birthday’s coming up next week and I’ve had pretty awful experiences w/birthdays since I stopped talking to my (emotionally/physically/sexually) abusive bio family. I made an Amazon wishlist for some stuff i want/need - if you have the means, please buy me a thing or signal boost this post!

http://a.co/1QVHQ9m 

Text: Sometimes in the dead of night on the way to the kitchen for a glass of water, I see an extra door in the hallway, black and imposing. 

headcanon: most of the avid seafaring nations are basically gyroscopic. you know, like chickens. they have insanely good balance and are possibly immune to seasickness. this isn't a natural trait and is acquired with practice.

bonus headcanon: that PotC scene of Norrington calmly walking down the stairs as his ship gets utterly obliterated around him even though realistically the shockwaves should be knocking him around? like he's just fucking immune to the laws of physics? yeah seafaring nations can actually pull that off. Arthur does it the most because you gotta admit it's very British but Kiku and Alfred do it too on occasion. Yao used to be really good at it but hasn't been able to do it in centuries, which has resulted in a LOT of "when I was young" rants.

addendum bonus: Alfred is really, really good at mechanical bull riding too. and likely non-mechanical bull riding.

Fabian's getting a sibling. his friends are all excited for it. Hallariel and Gilear are over the moon. he burnt all his baby clothes and as a result, everyone has been shopping, been preparing for the new baby. Fabian hates it.

once it's born, everyone coos over it, adores it, makes it laugh and looks at it. there's pictures being taken left and right, handmade blankets and shirts with embroidered initials and the softest plushies imaginable gifted from everyone around.

Fabian doesn't want to look at it. he avoids going near its room in the house, starts training and dancing even more and avoids being home as much as he can, so that he doesn't have to watch his mother smile at the little creature, doesn't have to listen to her coo or sing to this child that she loves.

Riz remarks to him that his sibling is cute. Kristen keeps trying to get him to hold it, tells him how you're supposed to keep one arm under and one arm across to ensure it's steady. Fig tells him he must be so excited to be a big brother, and that even though they're step-siblings, it must be thrilling to finally have a biological sibling. Fabian doesn't respond.

he had siblings. numerous ones, all without names and faces, all dead. he never met them. they never got to live much of their lives, murdered by Whitclaw for his father's feuds. no one speaks of them. no one thinks to remember them.

this baby will be the first Lomenelda-Faeth baby, his first biological sibling that doesn't share his Seacaster name, and he feels it viciously. good. it doesn't deserve his name. his legacy.

his friends coo over this baby, this stupid little thing, and his mother has spoken more to this child than she has to him in the past 18 years combined, and it's not jealousy fueling him when he sees his own baby blanket in its clutches. it's grief.

this baby doesn't get to have his stuff. it was a gift from his father, his family, and it doesn't belong to this new creature. it's done nothing to deserve this affection, this adoration. love is earned. love is what happens when you make a mark on the world, when you write your name on every place you've been and are respected and admired.

love is what you get if you become Maximum Legend. it's what you get when you defeat your enemies, or defeat your mother in fencing, or come out in victory after a harsh battle. love isn't freely handed out just because you exist. it's hard earned once you're enough, and Fabian is so, so close to earning it. he's done it all. he's saved the world. he's worked so hard, and done his best, and gotten his mother to stop drinking and be ready to be a mother. so why is she devoting her time and affection to this stupid little thing that hasn't done anything yet?

it's not fair. and he thinks about it when he slams the door behind him in the morning, the unfamiliar lilting notes of his mother's lullaby burning in his ears, until the roar of the Hangman finally drowns it out.

it must be so exciting to have a sibling, Fabian! it echoes in his ears. he thinks of Captain James on Leviathan, his grotesque tentacles crawling over his head, his foul breath just inches from his face. "Oh, I have so many of your siblings’ brains in me stomach already." how many of his siblings met their ends like that? how many of his siblings died without ever getting to tell him their name, without making their own mark on the world or knowing that there were more of them?

the wind howls around him and the Hangman furiously blasts down the roads, Elmville rushing past. he has enough siblings. none of them survived long enough for him to ever learn their name. this child, this baby, this stupid little sibling has done nothing to earn all the affection it's been getting, this love that's now handed out freely where he's never ever received a scrap without fighting for it tooth and nail. it's got enough.

he takes his crystal out, debates for a moment, and deletes all new notifications. he puts it on Do Not Disturb. he owes this new child nothing. he never got to learn the names of any of his other siblings. this baby, he decides, has done nothing to earn that privilege. there's nothing special about it. he's had enough of siblings, and he doesn't need another. he's a Seacaster, the last of his name. this child is not. it's a Lomenelda-Faeth, two people whose name he does not share and two people who haven't looked at him in weeks. he doesn't need them. they don't get to need him.

the Hangman's engine roars, and he thinks about his mother's singing. how he hasn't heard her ever sing before. he tries to recall it, and the song slips into a Halfling accent before he can stop himself. the motor revs, and he drives on.

HAPPY INDIGENOUS PEOPLE’S DAY!!!!

WHITE PEOPLE REBLOG THIS ONE:

when you are in public with your black friend/friends DO NOT make jokes, or loud jokes about crime. do not yell at people when you are walking down the street, do not make jokes about robbing or stealing. YOU might be able to make those jokes by yourself, but when you are in presence of a black person, the effects can be DIRE.  

you know what, how about a masterpost of my completed DC fics because whynot

the one where martha kent has a shotgun and knows how to use it

the one where everyone goes to smallville for christmas

the one about bruce wayne trolling twitter

the one where superman gets a new costume from the guy who’s been drawing his dick #weedhorse69

the one where bruce wayne is a cantankerous party grandpa

the one where someone gave batman a toddler

the one with catwoman as a reverse archaeologist

the one where catwoman is an art critic and makes batman reinstall snapchat

the one where batman and catwoman have sex

the one where lois lane gets drunk

the one where clark kent saves lois lane by pretending they fucked

the one with lois lane giving a dubiously consensual hj

the one where bruce wayne saves women from creeps at parties

the one with bruce wayne heavily dissociating during sex and it’s actually kind of distressing tbh

the one where superman cuddles his girlfriend and saves the night

the one with batman and a duckling

the one about gothamblr

the one with the justice league road trip

the one where batman does ballet

Indigenous people in Attawapiskat cannot drink their water or bathe themselves, and haven’t been able to for weeks. They called a state of emergency.

What is Justin Trudeau’s response?

1 litre per day of water for kids under 2 years old. 1.5 litres per elder. The Tribal council must pay for this water in advance before they can be reimbursed next month.

This is shameful.

https://twitter.com/CharlieAngusNDP/status/1152558561496616961

Tagging: @abpoli @politicsofcanada @onpoli @torontopoli @ontarionewsnow