THIS IS URGENT! 

a shout out to the small baby child today who was demanding liberation from her stroller but who, when asked if she would stay close to mama and not run around acting crazy, paused for a moment to contemplate the question and then answered "prob'ly no"

it cost you your freedom, small child, but i admire your integrity and honesty 😔

this is probably the best compilation out there

Ted bundy isn't ugly, you're just a lesbian

Congratulations, this is the worst ask I’ve ever gotten

love reading about the Great Rapprochement. Arthur spends 1895 to 1915 metaphorically kneeling on the ground going pspspspsps in Alfred’s general direction mostly getting ignored but occasionally getting an increasingly half-hearted “go fuck yourself” in response. it’s fantastic. look at this.

German Ambassador Bernstoff, a shrewd observer, reported in 1911, “The British efforts [to cultivate America] are meeting with a certain return of platonic affection. The old rooted dislike to England is gradually vanishing… But it is not accompanied by any wish to offer anything in return.” In hard diplomatic coin, the Americans took but they did not give. British ministries from Salisbury to Asquith made important concessions of substance and form to the United States. These statesmen gained not alliance nor even true reciprocity, but the elimination of grounds of conflict, occasional and essentially “platonic” or negative support in world politics, and above all a transformation of American attitudes which would pay immense dividends after 1914. While other factors propelled America in the same direction, British policy from 1895 to 1914 was the indispensable element.

I love it. Arthur hasn’t been this nice to Alfred since 1754 and Alfred is completely weirded out and has absolutely no idea what to do with this. so he just keeps being belligerent and Arthur just keeps being nice until eventually Alfred is sitting at a table in Arthur’s garden wondering how the fuck he came to the point where he’s having literal tea parties with the old fucker. 

meanwhile Matthew, Jack, and Eliza are just as weirded out. maybe Matthew less so than Jack and Eliza but like. it’s still really fucking weird when Alfred says things that would get Jack sent to boot camp in the most remote part of the Canadian wilderness and Arthur just smiles. Duncan, Morgan, and Erin are much less surprised, since obviously they remember how much Arthur loved Alfred as a child. on the whole, Duncan thinks it’s funny, Morgan is relieved and pleased, and Erin is utterly disgusted lol. like c’mon, Al, don’t listen to him. he’s so full of shit you know he’s full of shit. 

alas, the end of WW1 proves Erin right and Alfred goes right back to belligerent and aloof (though perhaps not near as much as pre-1895).

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Nobody on the left ever wants to hear this, but a large part of the reason we keep losing elections is that we have chased away moderates and constantly act like their very presence is poison. There’s a persistent delusion on the left that we’re some kind of silent majority and it’s just not true. We’re not a large group, and we do need to loop someone else in if we ever want to form any kind of government at all. Elections are not protest movements for a reason. They are in fact a terrible time for such a thing. Especially in a multi-party system where there is always another potential choice just around the corner and nobody is obligated to buy what you’re selling, no matter how convinced you are the only moral option is what you believe. If you want to convert someone to the cause it has to happen long before that. And if you can’t, but they are willing to stand with you this time? Then that’s gonna have to be good enough. They don’t have to be your best friend. They don’t have to be your comrade.

I saw a woman on twitter who’d just joined the Democratic Socialists of America talking about how if she hadn’t gone to an in person meeting she never, ever would have done it because their online presence fucking sucks, filled with frothing keyboard warriors constantly screaming about guillotines and violence and brutal revolution. And then she went to a meeting and it was all sensible, helpful people doing things like paying off parking tickets for those in need or arranging for necessities like food or rent to be covered. I think about this a lot, how bad the left’s advertising is. We can’t spit contempt in everyone’s face and then expect their help when the time comes. That’s not how human nature works. And yes, the internet has definitely made this phenomenon worse.

I don’t care about the revolution. The revolution does not exist. I care about getting useful politicians into a position where they might help somebody. I care about practicality. All these glorious and correct ideas mean dick shit if nobody ever gets to actually use them.

This was just supposed to be a cute sketch of Shmim in a floatie donut, but then the others joined in around him, and now it's a Gob Squad pool party.

We got Alex crocodiling to the right (with sqweep her mandarin duck familiar), Riz doing some wakeboarding behind Dex, who is wildshaped into an Orca. Jingles is thirst trapping people from his dorsal fin, and Leena is practising their canonball.

The Gob Squad is Riz's University adventuring party in the AU I have going with @dullgecko, you can read all about it in the Big AU Doc

tiny death roll

Was thinking of the Big Goblin Eyes again and was thinking that the only three people who are completely immune to Riz using it are:

Sklonda

Penny

Gorgug

(sorry Pok, lol)

Sklonda has built up at least 14 years of immunity to her kid doing the big cute eyes at her. Mostly because he uses it EVERY time she's trying to get him to go to bed at a decent hour. No you little shit, not ten more minutes, NOW.

Penny has so many adorable younger siblings that if she WASNT immune it would be anarchy. Plus, she can also do big sad eyes. Not as effective as Riz (he gets a bonus for the slitted pupils) but it's still pretty powerful.

Gorgug lives with gnomes. All his neighbours are small folk. He doesn't see them as exceptionally cute or endearing like other tall species would, they're just people. Saying that though basically any kids he played with growing up would use their cute factor to get what they wanted, including some bullies, so it never works on him anymore.

Poks lack of immunity? That's his BABY BOY. Yes they're basically the same height now why does that matter?

you know i hate tumblrs “i hope they do something problematic” shit so much? its not only with people like thomas sanders or john mulaney or that comic guy with the bike, but with whole ass shows and projects? like nobody ever said b99 is cop propaganda. nobody was saying that until one single person mentioned it and suddenly its the worst show you could watch because of one aspect of their show, while ignoring the shows diversity and political stances.

same happened to dream daddy, like you cant deny that that game was groundbreaking for the lgbt society, but suddlenly some people started shit like ‘uhhh but 5 years ago the game grumps made transphobic jokes’ and ‘you know that joesph is actually a satanist, right?’ and suddenly no one talked about the game anymore?

everytime someone tries their fucking best to be inclusive, diverse etc. people are digging through everything they can find just to justify that they dont like it? overwatch recently hosted a huge event to raise money for breast cancer research in association with the BCRF and without even doing one second of research people accused them of working with the susan g. komen foundation (which wasnt true) and tried to boycott a fucking charity event?

what im saying is, dont let tumblr ruin everything you love because they are bitter