*releases Pack Of Dads Into Home Depot* Go……be Free

"I had killed people!"

"You were a docter!"

"I had bad days!"

"You know the thing when someone asks "Hey did it hurt when you fell from heaven?", people should just reply "No but I broke my ankle walking up from hell"."

Conversation with my friend recently

What people think Advanced classes are like:

"All right children, what shall we do for homework tonight? Maybe next chapter's cource work."

What it's really like

"Am I going to have to call the elementary school principal and ask why you five, don't know your left from your right yet are able to keep steady A's in this class?"

So as you do, I was going on an evening walk while listening to a new podcast. Then suddenly, I saw it. A feather in nearly perfect condition. The little amount joy left in my shriveled up heart finally decided to make an appearance. I picked up the feather of course, and I found another, and another until I had five feathers held so that they wouldn't touch each other. When I got home and showed my mom, I am pretty sure that I looked slightly insane.

When you are the chaotic one in the friendship.

My parents do not give a shit if I date a girl. But my Dad would murder me if I even have a nice thought about an Eagles fan.

Debate is weird. We switch sides everyother round and there is no correct answer. As long as you have better evidence or reasoning, you can win. In my last meet, (it was virtual) the judge for that round had her camera on and I saw a child running around in the background. So, I used most of my last speech leaning heavily on how if the judge chooses the other side's plan of action, our children will die. It worked and I won. The other people on the debate team are now a little bit more scared of me. I don't regret my actions. I hate children.

rando person (aka any of my friends):"Why do you read so many fanfictions with abusive and unhealthy relationships? Read about healthy ones please."

Bruh, if I want to see a healthy relationship, I go downstairs and watch my parents.

You know the only good part of having braces is that my orthodontist gave me my teeth molds.

When people say that Sherlock isn't a romance, I just think of the Netflix ads for it.