Be Yourself! Until Its Too Much, In Which Case We Will Decapitate You! :D

bunch squiggles and hetch + a little bit of boo :3

Nonbinary tag checks out :D

Hey! Positive experience for once:

One time one of my dad's friends came over, and he bought on of his kids, a girl my age. We were kinda awkward at first, because we had to share my room for a night, but then we started talking, and me, freshly discovered lesbian at the time, asked her if she knows girl in red.

She said YES! And also that when she saw my guitar that i was clearly not using but still kept in my room she wanted to ask but she was afraid. So we spent the night, just two small gays, not yet out to anyone but each other :D

Haven't heard of her since, but that was one of my first real life positive queer experiences, and i can't forget it :)

this made my day, thank you so much! i had a kinda stressful start of my day but seeing so many asks like this just brightened it up.

new chronicle 0 tweet:

[“Choose

Stop

Don’t”]

Flappy hands and rocking side to side. Intensely. I have fallen over many times. Also if i am really stressed then leg bounce and flappy hands but bigger motions and everything

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

silly garfieldboo

kind of a follow-up to this post:

hc that charlie and sneeg once made it out before. something happened, and one of them broke free of showfalls control, and he managed to get the other and get them both out. and once their out, they meet some people, ranboo among them. showfall, pissed at losing two of their actors, two of the ones they've been molding since childhood no less, goes after them with a vengeance. and showfall doesn't care who else gets hurt in the way, so maybe they take the kid whose house they're hiding out in as well. and maybe they decide that the best way to keep these two unruly actors in order is to make sure they know that this kid is on the line if they act out again. so they play within the lines. and they look out for this kid, who wouldn't be here at all if not for them. amd sneeg, he tries so hard to break back out, so he can get both his brothers free again. and charlie, he plays along, and he puts himself between ranboo and the danger, so that even if ranboo is stuck here because of him, at least they're safe and alive. and ranboo, he is drawn to them because they know they've met them before, and he decided then that they dont deserve this, and they know they still feel that way. and why would he be upset with them? its not their fault. its showfalls. they just wanted safty for themselves and eachother.

also we are even more lackin in the sneeg department, like it is RGB trio not RG duo, and also sneeg *would* be the most likely to escape in my opinion

thinking about writing a fic about genloss bc we are severely lacking in the comfort department still and i need it. to be clear the last time i wrote fanfiction was when i was 12 and it was about Spider-Man BUT this is making me want to try again

ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN IS DOWN THE END TIMES ARE COMING

Yes.

Special Interest vs Hyperfixation

This post is about how I PERSONALLY have come to define these words. There is no clear consensus on the distinction, so I have made my own. I am not trying to control how other people use these terms or who uses them, so do not argue with me about that. You’ve been warned.

How are special interests and hyperfixations commonly distinguished?

Many people say that special interest = autism and hyperfixation = ADHD. I’m not a fan of saying, “This thing is basically the same in each, but we’re using different words based on which box you’ve been sorted into.”

Another way people distinguish is by saying special interests are long term/permanent and hyperfixations are short term. That’s a start, but it doesn’t really explain why one would be long and one short—unless they serve different functions.

My definitions are about the functions of these kinds of interests.

Special interests

I define special interest as a topic of intense interest to someone, usually an autistic person, that serves an important function: they are a way to organize/understand the world, one’s emotions, relationships, etc, and also a safe, structured way of interacting with other people/the world. Because they become integral to how one sees/interprets the world, people often describe special interests as part of their identity.

For autistic people who are not great at masking, their special interest might be the only thing they want to talk about. Sharing information about one’s special interest can be how people express affection (“I am trusting you with this important part of me!”) and could be considered a neurodivergent “love language.”

Think of Aaron in The Mitchells vs the Machines. He goes through the phone book calling people to ask if they’d like to talk about dinosaurs with him, and when his sister Katie is leaving for college, he expresses his anxiety and tries to make sense of what is happening by asking what happens to velociraptors when one leaves the pack.

Hyperfixations

Saying hyperfixations are just short-term special interests does not do them justice, and it doesn’t make sense! Special interests are about becoming an expert in a topic so it can serve as a secure base from which to approach trickier aspects of life. But hyperfixations often fizzle out after reaching the “expert” stage. Why is that?

Hyperfixations serve a different (also important) purpose: dopamine! It’s all about the thrill of the chase. The consumption of information at light speed. Chronically understimulated brains use hyperfixations as a way to produce more of the neurotransmitters they need so badly. This is why they often fizzle out once the game is complete, the show has been binged, or you’ve learned all there is to know on a subject: the novelty is what creates that first flash flood of dopamine that our brains find so delicious. I had more hyperfixations back when I was stuck in boring classes all day. My brain was desperate for stimulation.

Similarities

Both special interests and hyperfixations are unusually intense interests. Both of them can feel necessary for survival—because they are survival strategies developed by neurodivergent brains for surviving in a neurotypical-designed world! They both serve important functions that go beyond simple enjoyment or relaxation. And while special interests in autism have been pathologized the most, both hyperfixations and special interests—in whomever they occur—are often dismissed, bullied, or discouraged by people who do not see their importance and utility.

I’ve made it sound black and white here, but it’s not. These two can overlap. Hyperfixations often “mellow out” into special interests, special interests can produce happy brain chemicals. Also, in my experience, I’ve known more autistic people with special interests and more ADHD people with hyperfixations, and I will continue to talk about them largely in those contexts… but I am an expert on no one’s mind but my own. I don’t police who uses these words.

So, to sum up.

Special interest: an organizational framework for understanding the world and for understanding and navigating emotions and social relationships.

Hyperfixation: an adaptive response to chronic understimulation by “mining” a subject for neurotransmitters.

I get lost in my hyperfixations. I would get lost without my special interests. Both are important functions!