Doctor: $140,000 A Year

Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

The date is May 5th, 2055

Star Wars releases a special movie. One where Fox had his blaster set to Stun. One where Fives could tell Anakin and Rex and everyone else. One where the entire GAR comes knocking on Palpatines’ door. One where the clones follow Cut’s example and get to settle down and have families. One where they go from Droids with flesh and blood to People. One where the Empire never exists.

Okay fuck canon, here’s how the Clone Wars really ended:

• Anakin doesn’t magically lose his mind and ignore the red flags that Palpatine is throwing up constantly. He’s the most force sensitive person in the galaxy, right? Okay, so that shriveled prune has no chance to turn him to the dark side bc Anakin sees it coming from a mile away.

• Anakin believes Fives about the inhibitor chips. He takes it to the republic, and one way or another, Palpatine is outted (after all the chips are discreetly removed so he can’t just call Order 66 before he’s arrested)

• The Jedi Council (aka the most poweful force users in all of the universe) come together and either take Palpatine into unbreachable, indefinite captivity, outright kill him or (my favorite option) use the Light wall ability to sever his ties from the force forever (it’s a thing that has been done before, and it’s super fuckin cool, google it my dood)

• Anakin leaves the order. After Palpatine is taken care of, he takes off with Padme and they live together on Naboo and have their kids and it’s the life that both of them deserve

• Padme, the absolute sweetheart of the republic, convinces the government to allow the Clones to settle on planets of their choosing. Through her ties on Naboo, she’s even able to offer a good number of them a new home there. Anakin is all for it. The 501st move in essentially next door and it’s a grand time.

• The republic also quickly firgures out how to reverse the whole accelerated aging thing, either by forcing the Kaminoans to reveal their secrets or by employing a team of scientists to figure it out on their own. Ultimately, our boys get to live a natural life span.

• Kix is never frozen so he gets to stay with his dudes in that time period

• Hardcase doesn’t die in this au either, because fuck Pong Krell and that whole Umbaran debaucle

• Fives lives, fuck yeah

• Ahsoka is never framed and she stays with the order until Anakin leaves, and then she leaves as well but they keep in touch (meaning she visits constantly)

• Cody gets a high-level job in the government on Coruscant, probably as a Clone ambassador or something, and he and Obi-Wan pal around together a lot. They also visit Naboo frequently to see their buddies.

• Rex and the rest of the 501st build a little compound on Naboo and they get jobs and stuff. The first boss to try to take advantage of any of them (like that one guy did Gregor) has to deal with an outraged war hero banging down their door because Anakin Skywalker will not sit by and let his family be treated that way.

• Luke and Leia are born into a loving family, and they have like 20 uncles that all look alike and would die for their little munchkins (Padme and Anakin never have to worry about finding a babysitter between the Clones and Ahsoka)

• The clones start settling down with partners. They get the endings they deserve too, with families and normal lives.

• When Luke and Leia are older they are given the choice to learn the force. Their dad helps them, and Obi-wan gets involved too. Leia still becomes a politician and leader like her mother, but she also learns the force. Anakin just doesn’t want them to feel like they have to join the order and give up having families just because they’re force sensitive.

• In the end, they all live good, peaceful lives.

577 notes View Post

honey-badger-dont-give-an-frick

2 years ago