Watching Good Omens As Someone Both Religious And With Religious Trauma Is Insane Because I Can See Myself

Watching good omens as someone both religious and with religious trauma is Insane because I can see myself in both of them. Right now, I'm a bit more leaning towards Crowley, but there was a time I was as wholly blindly faithful as aziraphale was, and still see myself in him, and you really don't know any better. You end up saying things or hurting people because you were taught that some things are good and some things are bad and that's just the way it is. There is a certain terror that comes with leaving, so instead of leaving you try to follow the best you can, and maybe, if you try hard enough, you can fix it. The system is broken and you can fix it and the system works as it is and you have to leave are conflicting concepts that take so long to dismantle in your brain. I'm more cynical now, and I look at things more objectively, but there was a time I would hate certain groups of people just because my church told me that it was right. And isn't that fucked up? Why does being right hurt so much?