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Why So Hesitant?

To any man who claims he wants his wife or girlfriend to become a slut and to every woman who says she fantasizes of being a slut, I always ask them the same question: Does your partner know?

The answer is typically some version of: No.

People are hesitant to speak sincerely to the person they claim to love and trust the most for some reason. Not being able to express your sexual fantasies and desires will make it multiple times harder to ever accomplish them. So needless to say, both partners need to be able to express their sexual desires freely.

When I ask someone who claims they want this lifestyle why they do not dive into it, I normally get a variety of answers that try to excuse why it is not happening. I have made a short list of these answers and why they are bullshit.

1. Afraid to Ask- The first and most common symptom felt before asking the question is fear. This is not fear of the consequences of the lifestyle itself, but fear of asking. It is fear of the unknown. Fear of not knowing a reaction, of what he or she might think, of the possibility of losing someone for simply asking, of losing the magic of love. Let me tell you something, if you believe there is a magical element to love that gets lost when you tell your partner of a desire, then you are living in bullshit land. Not only are you keeping yourself trapped in this bullshit land, but you are keeping your partner in there with you, forever keeping them “in love” with a fictional version of yourself with no sexual desires. Step up and speak, a true partner values the truth. If you expressed a sexual desire and your partner left, then you two are not designed to be together, plain and simple. This is not to say your partner should fulfill your needs, but if your partner can not accept your desires for what they are, desires, then that partner can’t accept you. Plain and simple, fear to ask is bullshit. (I will cover a few warm-up strategies to overcoming the fear of asking in my next post).

2. She Won’t Be Into It- Another excuse for not even asking is a belief that the partner will not be into it. Sometimes, a person will ask and the partner really will not be into it....yet. This is normal, however, this is not where it ends. Now that your partner knows of your fantasy, there are many ways in which it can be roleplayed or tease you on the fantasy without actually becoming a slutwife. For example, she can go out with you one night wearing less clothing than normal, talk to you about her hottest sexual experience during while jerking you off, dance with another guy while you watch, chat with another guy online, or pretend she is having sex with her favorite movie crush during sex. The possibilities are endless. The point of telling your partner your fantasies is getting her aligned with your needs and helping her adjust to better please you. While roleplaying, she may discover she becomes curious about this lifestyle as well, but you never get there until you start.

3. Is It Cheating?-Another concept that keeps people from living their dreams is comparing the lifestyle to cheating. This could bot be further from reality, as they stand two polar ends apart. Being in a slutwife style relationship is all about love, trust, openess, maturity, experimentation, adventure, desire, respect, boundaries, happiness, and putting your partner’s needs above your own at times. Cheating is lying, deception, disrespect, manipulation, lack of trust, and only caring about yourself. While cheating could be an exciting aspect of a slutwife lifestyle we will cover later, it is not the foundation of a relationship. There is only one thing in common that cheating and hotwifing have in common, sleeping with other men, and that is it. Everything else is as different as it can get. Anyone who claims the two terms are the same is simply brainwashed by a bullshit concept of society’s monogamous relationship fantasy and does not understand that a real relationship goes beyond who a person sleeps with.

4. She Will Think I Don’t Love Her-This fear comes up both during the asking your partner phase and during the going through with it phase. People assume that asking your partner to sleep with other people will make then think you don’t love them. I want you to rethink this bullshit concept. If your partner truly questions your love, ask them, “Why would I share such a deep secret of mine with you if I did not love and trust you completely? Why would I want to experience something like this with you if I did not love you and trust you? You can then proceed to clarify that your love for her is so strong and your trust is so deep that you feel free to share your most intimate secret and know that if she would go through with it, your love for her can only be enhanced knowing she had a sexual experience she enjoyed and still came back to you for true love.

5. What If She Falls in Love- This is the another concept that gets in the way of people living their dreams. What if she falls in love. The assumption here must be that the only people that have sex are in love, or that people that have sex stay in love forever. That is obviously bullshit. But let’s think this out for a minute because it is natural for two human beings that have a pleasurable experience together to have a form of “feeling” for each other. This “feeling” can be compared to puppy love middle schoolers feel for a different kid every month. This type of feeling is possible and often leads to an amazing hotwife experience. But here is question to you, so what? Is love limited? Do you love your mother but not your father? Do you only love one child but stopped loving when you had another? Do you only love one brother? Most people will experience love for different people throughout their lives, without taking away the love from another. The “puppy love” a person may experience can be an infatuation with the excitement of something different and new, and not the deep love for the person themselves. This puppy love is easily replaceable over time with something else new and exciting, unlike the deep love a husband and wife in a good relationship develop, or a mother and child develop which goes on forever. The key takeaway I want you to get from all this is that even if she fell in love with another man, which is highly unlikely, it will not be an issue. Love is not limited. If she loves you the way you love her, your place in her life is set forever, loving another man does not take away from your love, it enhances it due to the fact that she is sharing an intimate experience with you and is loving you all throughout it. In a solid hotwife relationship, she may experience feelings for different men that will come and go, but you will be the only one with a true deep love that she was able to share it all with.

6. The Other Man Is Better- This concept is a fear of jealousy upon realizing that the wife is experiencing something better than what you provide. This could be, the guy has a bigger dick, is more handsome, muscular, can fuck all night, makes her laugh more, better dancer, has more money, etc. Could this happen? Of Course. Odds are, that there is a guy out there who is better than you for any given area. Unless you are Jeff Bezos, chances are there is someone richer. Unless you are Mandingo, some guy out there has a bigger dick. Unless you are Ronnie Coleman, someone is more muscular. Unless you are Brad Pitt, someone out there is more handsome. Thinking your wife should not date guys that are better than you at something is absurd and greedy. You want your wife to experience the best in each man and still come back to you. Unless you are one of the above mentioned men, she did not marry you for that characteristic, so you will be fine. The best part is, all these guys that are better than you will likely be looking to fuck your wife when they realize she is a slut. Your wife will be intrigued and she will likely want to experience them as well. It is your job to overcome your jealousy and let her enjoy the experience. When she comes back to you after experiencing all that, you will realize she still loves you and it goes beyond certain traits that other men are better at.

7. What If She Got Addicted?- Addiction of any kind is bad, mainly because the term would mean she has no control and can’t stop. The concept that she will become addicted and lose all control because she is a slutwife is absurd. Has she never had sex before or something? Has she never slept with another man? Has she never seen porn? Has she never seen a big cock? Has she never loved another man? Has she never had an orgasm? Why would she lose all control all of a sudden? If she begins living out the lifestyle, chances are she will get to experience sex in many different ways that she will enjoy, but that does not mean she is going to throw everything else in her life away. While there is such a thing as sexual addiction, the important thing is that she can keep her life balanced and under control, and that is where the husband comes in. Ultimately, a good husband should want his wife to live her sexual life with so much pleasure that she borders on being a sex addict, but maintains her life under control as any other woman does. Women are often far better at keeping things under control then men, so the odds of losing control are slim. A couple can always plan on dialing back on sexual activity for some time to bring things back to normality if things ever went too far. Fear of addiction is bullshit excuse not to try it.

8. What if Someone Finds Out-Fear of someone finding out is one of the most common barriers to overcome by both the wife and husband. Who is this someone? It could be anyone. From parents, children, friends, coworkers, etc., there is usually a fear of someone possibly finding out about the lifestyle and living life outside of society’s normal expectations. There are many precautions that can be taken to keep things as secret as possible, like doing things while on vacation in another land, of hooking up with people from another city, we will talk more about those options in a later post. The important thing to cover today is the possibility of someone finding out. So what? While it may not be expected, it is far from being a crime when a couple lives the slutwife lifestyle. It is actually become much more acceptable nowdays and will continue to become more mainstream with time. If someone you know did find out and asked about it, there is no obligation to explain yourself. However, it is best to approach the situation calmly and say that it is a fun sexual adventure you both agreed to explore, and that it has been very rewarding. That should clear up any concern for cheating or something being wrong in the relationship. Most people outside of close family would likely never mention it to you even if they knew for fear of causing drama.

These are some of the most common excuses of why people are not living their dream lifestyle. Recognize them, overcome them, and start living your dreams.

Hotwife lifestyle

A guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle

You are having an affair? Fall in love to your lover maybe? Daydreaming of him all the time? Constantly wet? Your husband gets hard when you tell him something about those things? And he wants you even more? You want to have them both in your life and don’t want to get divorced?

The Hotwife livestyle is solution for you then.

So you are now one of the millions of women who learned she has a husband with fantasies about you having sex with other man. Welcome to our club. Hopefully you’re past the shock. Maybe you have even reached that point where there is no need for me to tell you how lucky you are.

If you’re like most of us, you were unaware that your husband had these desires. You were living the married life thinking that you knew your husband better than he knew himself. Ha! Too funny.

Depending on how long you’ve been married, things may have cooled off in the bedroom. Face it. The rut comes to every bedroom. If it hasn’t don’t be lulled into thinking it won’t happen to you. Then you somehow found out about his secret fantasy, and hopefully decided that there is a solution for the both of you. Lucky you, even if you don’t know it yet.

Take a moment and think about the potential. See all of those other unhappy women out there in boring, sexless marriages? See all those other women around you having affairs, lying to themselves and their husbands, and risking messy divorces? Don’t laugh at them. They were once you, or could have been you. But now you will end up different from them. If you read this and follow it you’re going to find yourself on a road that will return you to sexual fulfilment, feeling as confident as when you were first married, in love with your husband again and appreciating him more than ever.

A Hot Wife is a woman who is free to have sex with other/s with her husband’s knowledge, approval and encouragement. The wife is free to play with other/s, while the husband remains completely monogamous and faithful only to her.

Sound crazy? Well believe me when I tell you it is easy to do and your sex life will be better than you imagine. In this new relationship the husband is often called a cuckold, which just means a man with a cheating wife. Of course cheating is a misnomer, since the wife’s actions are not hidden from the husband, and he is very aware of her activities. In fact, his awareness and approval is one of the most important ingredients. It will turn him on like nothing you’ve ever done before.

First, go slowly. Do not rush it. Having a husband that enjoys this lifestyle is different, so you need to nurture the relationship first and foremost, while moving into the lifestyle slowly. What you want to do is encourage his desires for you to be with other man, and make it as pleasurable for him as it is for you.

If you go slowly and follow my advice, in time you will have a husband that will let you do anything sexually. Anything! (When I say anything – I mean anything). And he will want you to do more. He will find himself anticipating it as much as you. He will get his sexual satisfaction from YOUR encounters with other man, and most importantly he will be drawn to you like never before, and more in love with you than at any time in your marriage!

As you begin, you MUST remember one very important fact. Hot Wife is not just about sex. It’s also about CONTROL. If you are like most women, your husband has been in control so far in your marriage. Right? Well, now you can change that.

Hot Wife is about what YOU want. YOUR sexual pleasure. YOUR sexual control. I know it sounds strange. But once you’ve experienced it you WILL enjoy it immensely! Think YOU not HIM. As selfish as it may sound at first, doing so will turn him on more than anything you’ve ever done yet! The change in you by itself will begin to arouse him.

Now, here’s what to do the first few times. After that, once you’ve got a taste of it (and he’s thirsty for more), you can do as you damn well please. After all, you are the Hot Wife! (You won’t read stuff like this anywhere else.)

Remember rule #1 - The goal is for YOU to be in control of the sex, not him. You do what you want; when you want; and how you want; with whom you want and have him go along with it. Got it?

First, you have to set the groundwork from the beginning. If you do it right, he will be totally faithful and a perfect husband to you, as he learns to get his sexual satisfaction in the lifestyle as a result of YOUR being satisfied. Meanwhile you can have fun with your new freedom and let out the little slut that’s bottled up inside every woman.

DON’T let him decide what kind of sex or how much sex or who you should have sex with. Remember this - NO CHOICE and NO VOICE. He should have no say in whether or not you jack a man off, or if you chose to screw the entire staff of Starbucks. He should have no say in whether you go out to another man’s home, or bring a man into your bedroom (I know you want to try this – it turns you on). He should have no say in when it happens, or whom you choose. You want to be the one in control. Trust me, YOU will love it once it happens, and HE will too (even if he doesn’t know why).

When you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact tone. Don’t give him a choice in the matter. Say, “I’m having someone over tomorrow evening and we’re going to spend some time in bed.” Or say, “I’m going out with someone Friday night and I plan to go home with him afterward”. That’s it. You have to share as many details as you want (before and after) but don’t let him try to influence you or allow him to shape the event. Be firm. Make it clear that you are making the decision because it’s what you want. Take control of your sexuality and control that aspect of your relationship for that night.

It’s fine to tell him what’s going to happen before you do it. That is a big part of the excitement for many couples and also your wild-card for your freedom. Share all of the details while he has an erection. But the idea is to show him that you’ve made a decision based on YOUR needs and desires, and his needs are secondary to your needs right now. Show him that you’re a horny woman who’s taken charge of getting yourself satisfied without him. The idea that you will go to another man for your sexual fulfilment will drive him crazy with lust for you (trust me!). Absolutely the best way to tell him all things above is when you have sex with him (with intercourse or without). In the moment of coming he knows that your demand of having sex with another man in unavoidable.

It’s also important to keep him involved every step of the way. Share everything. Depending on your relationship level, you may want to keep him up-to-date of your discussions with the other man, share details of your plans, etc. It’s important to keep him involved.

This creates a sexually charged experience for him, even before you have ANY sex at all! If you are having thoughts about calling someone to meet this weekend even though it is most likely that this will never occur, tell him. Let the suspense and excitement build. It’s a game. Share it with him and it will excite you BOTH.

When the big day arrives to meet a man, be deliberately aloof and distant from your husband the entire day. Give him some tasks to keep him busy, maybe something that helps prepare for your evening. Perhaps send him out to buy a nice bottle of wine or a new lingerie.

Many couples enjoy the ritual of the husband helping the wife prepare herself for a date. You can have him help you bathe or shower. Have him put on your panties and stockings. I talk to my husband and tease him, I tell him to get me ready for the other man’s cock, etc.

Doing this lays the groundwork early on. It puts you in charge and creates an atmosphere where he begins to mentally relinquish his rights to you, as part of turning you over to another man. Let he jerks off besides you while you whisper what you will do that night to your lover. Doing this also reinforces the new power you have. It will also make the sex more intense between the two of you during the next few days. It’s an important part of the game that has powerful appeal, and helps bond you together.

Here’s another tip - treat your lover like you treated your husband WHEN YOU WERE DATING. Ladies, you know what this means. Let your slut come out! Plenty of oral sex. Plenty of fucking. Multiple times if possible. Give him all he wants, until he can’t see straight and you can’t walk straight! When he’s done, continue to pamper him EXACTLY as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door.

After he leaves, you think you’re done and now it’s time for some sleep? Surprise girl! It’s not close to being over yet.

The next step is VERY important if you want to keep doing this. It’s important that your husband support your Hot Wife life, and that he be behind you all the way. So, even if you’re tired, you must immediately turn ALL your attention to your husband. Turn off the distant, sex-starved Hot Wife games you played earlier and become ALL HIS AGAIN!

Let him reclaim you as his own. Reassure him that you’re still his wife and that you love him even MORE for allowing you this night of pleasure! Depending on the couple, you may or may not have intercourse right away BUT you have to have some kind of sexual interaction with your husband. I the beginning try to have intercourse even if you are not in the mood. In later stages you can just give him blowjob or jerk him off while you tell him dirty details. I personally perform some of above and CLEAN UP duty. This is where the husband licks the lovers cum from the wife’s pussy or off of her breasts. It can be EXTREMELY arousing for both involved! It’s a primal reaction serving to both reclaim the wife and show the husband’s subservience to her pleasure. But even though they desire this, most husbands will not do this on their own. Your husband usually wants you to ORDER HIM to perform clean up duty. He cannot explain himself that he allows you to have sex with your lover but if you tie his hands and order him to clean you he doesn’t have choice. Right? This maintains the woman’s sexual dominance in all areas of the Hot Wife lifestyle. My biggest turn on is to come back in a sweat lingerie with few drops of my lovers cum both on my breasts and in my vagina. Sometimes I sit on him and sometimes I just jerk him off. It turns me on when I tie him down while he is desperate and horny.  

Over the next few days, reassure him that you love him and care about him, that you’re his wife forever. Most importantly, remind him that you LOVE the fact that he lets enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed that night. Tease him while replaying the night over and over. Tell him you can’t wait to do it again. Tell him how self-assured and unique he is to be able to share you the way he does, and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you.

After few months you will be bored of having sex with your husband all the time, especially if he is not good in bed like your lover. That is very delicate part of being a hotwife. In his head everything is about sex. Even though you love him completely (OK, you love your lover a little bit – aren’t you?), that’s not enough for him. He has to have a kind of sexual interaction with you more or less every single day. Sounds tough right? It is. Sometimes it makes me crazy and I hate him for not being perceptive for me and my body. But if you think that is a small price you have to pay for you pleasure and for your marriage (you don’t want to divorce – don’t you?). So don’t avoid those situations when he wants sex. If you are not in the mood just tell him to jerk off while you tell him some dirty details from your last date or, even better, tell he what you will do next time with your lover.

If you do this, the lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever enjoyed together. In time, his most intense sexual pleasure will come from you HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE, as crazy as that might sound. And what could be better for you? You get to take charge of your sex life. You get to explore new sexual horizons most married women never experience. Your husband will love and adore you more than he ever has, and you BOTH stay sexually fulfilled.

There is so much to experience in this lifestyle that you’ll never be bored. If you lay the right groundwork and do it correctly from the beginning, you can have a supportive, open-minded husband and the freedom to do whatever you want with his blessing. To me, there is no better marriage than one that is open and sexually permissive. Without my loving husband involved in my new life, I would probably have long ago been divorced and miserable by now. So get out there and get started.

Why would a man want his girlfriend to sleep with another man?

Because I want her to experience as much variety as possible, gaining beautiful new experiences. And because I want my girlfriend to have pleasure and the strongest orgasms she can have. 

Because I want to offer everything to the love of my life. I don't want our relationship to be the end of her fantasies!

Because I enjoy seeing her as the free independent spirit she really is. I know she is adventurous and she is allowed to be.

Taboos are hot. Breaking taboos is even hotter. Girlfriends are not "supposed" to have sex with men who aren't their boyfriends. Boyfriends are not "supposed" to enjoy watching their girlfriends have sex with other men. F*ck the social norms! My girlfriend can be her true self with me and live her fantasies!

Because it brings out her naughty side that I like so much.

Because I like to know that other men find my wife attractive. I think she is incredibly sexy and I want her to know that other men find her hot too.

I want to see how she reacts to other men's touches and thrusts and I want to see the look of complete devotion in her eyes when she obediently serves another man.

Because it turns me on to be in a sexual competition for my girlfriend (also called sperm competition). 

Because I don't think she is my property, even if we are in a relationship. 

For reasons of power: I find it arousing when I share her with other men.

Why a man would want his wife to sleep with another man?

Because I am proud of her and want others to validate that

Because I enjoy knowing that other men find my wife attractive

Because she has interest in improving her body and appearance as she dresses for other men, feeling sexy and desired

Because I want to bring out the sexy and confident woman in hiding

Because it’s all about her pleasure

Because I enjoy viewing her as the free independent spirit that she truly is

Because I like not having to be in charge all the time, to give up control, to be in a sense dominated and still be loved and accepted by the one that we love the most. All without the guilt or judgment that would normally come with it.

Because it brings out her naughty side

Because I want her to experience as much variety and pleasure as possible

Because she has a much higher sex drive than I do and it fills her sexual needs

Because I want my wife to have the most fun and the most powerful orgasms she can have

Because I get off watching her kiss another man

Because I want to see a larger cock in her

Because watching the love of my life being passionately fucked by another man is the most beautiful and erotic thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

The way her whole being responds to his touch and thrusts, the look of complete surrender in her eyes is the most gorgeous thing I have ever witnessed.

She comes back a new woman; I must fuck her again to call her mine and reclaim her

Because it makes the sex better between the two of us