Once I'm Old And Retired From Everything, I Think I'd Like To Settle Into Some Specific Pub And Become

Once I'm old and retired from everything, I think I'd like to settle into some specific pub and become known as the guy who'll offer unlisenced relationship advice/therapy/philosophical discussion in exchange for a pint, a coffee, or one of those shitty pub sandwiches or whatever they have. Whatever's in your price range. If I'm awake and done with my daily tasks at home, I'm keeping office hours at the regular. Ideally at one specific table that's never been officially reserved for me but where people expect to find me, and notice if I'm not there.

If you find yourself at a loss of what to do, not knowing what path to take, seek the council of the pub wizard. He doesn't have the formal training or qualifications for anything, and isn't legally responsible if it turns out that his advice was shit and got you in trouble, but the man is literally working for peanuts.

More Posts from Hermestoldmeurgay and Others

2 months ago

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

2 months ago
a medieval style digital drawing of an androgynous brown-skinned knight on horseback on a hill, stabbing a long gold spear into a blue dragon on the ground. the knight has a gold halo behind their head and wears a suit of silver armor with a nonbinary flag striped tunic and a trans flag as a cape. their horse is white, with blue tack with trans pride trim. there is black gothic text at the top and bottom of the image reading “A world without trans people has never existed and never will.” there’s an ornate pale blue border around the image, filled with pink and blue scrollwork, gold hearts filled with colorful flowers, a smiley bat, two smiley moles, and two smiling frogs holding up trans flags.

a world without trans people has never existed and never will

prints

2 months ago
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...
*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...

*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa

2 months ago

Hello,

I hope you’re all doing well. 🌿

I need your help to share my family's story and raise awareness about our struggle. Every voice counts, and your support means the world. 🙏

💬 Please reblog my pinned post or, if you're able, consider donating just $5—it could be life-changing for those facing unimaginable hardship.

Your kindness and solidarity make a real difference. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 🤍✨

@aboodfmly

hello friend, i've added ur fundraiser to my linktree - even if i can't donate right now i know someone out there can.


Tags
2 months ago

ok ill do that

this reminds me to ask. Hey, folks who get stuck with executive dysfunction, specifically movement initiation (like when you're trying to get up to, idk, get the ice cream you want for dessert)?

Can you do me a favor? Next time you're stuck, try wiggling your toes and then trying to Get Up To Do The Thing and tell me whether or not it helps?

I have some half assed ideas about why this might work revolving around the possibility of being able to use smaller motions to build up the dopaminergic tone in the striatum of the brain. That's a major structure involved in both motivation and movement, both of which dopamine interact powerfully with. And it does seem to be useful for me, at least. But I can't figure out if that's some internal belief thing on my end or something more generally applicable, and I would love some help figuring out if this is useful for other people.

3 months ago

“Eww don’t ship them ! They’re just friends/ they hate each other/ they barely have any interaction/they never even met/they’re not from the same series !”

Pussy. Back in my days, we shipped Elsa and Jack Frost to hell and back because they were both ice themed.

2 months ago

as u do

Yes, I am a straight man. Yes, getting the shit beat out of me in an all-male mosh pit is an erotic experience for me. We exist

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hermestoldmeurgay - dont look at me like that
dont look at me like that

my rants to My Lord that i dont have anyone else to talk to about. rhet. comp. and literary studies grad, TA for creative writing and history

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