Vague Threats

🦷

Wait guys is the dashboard change just a special temporary April Fools thing? 🥺

*stabs julius caesar in the back* you're bleeding because you don't floss

I was such a cute baby 🥰

I drew you as a baby! Do you remember?

Being an actor keeps me sane. Yeah I have to work a day job but know what? When my day job is stressful and I want to scream I get to go hey wait. I have a scream scheduled at 7:30 tonight. Gotta save up. And then I go back to what I was doing.

Tumblr’s favorite north east ohio lawyer is getting his own movie, and i couldn’t be more thrilled

i cant help but notice that the chocolate chips cookies you brought to the potluck yesterday had bad vibes. so i went through your cabinets while you were sleeping and checked out the chocolate chips you used. i mean they looked innocent on the surface, they were even fair trade certified. but i just couldn't shake that itching sense that sometning was off. i infiltrated the chocolate company's headquarters by posing as IT support. and you know what I found? the guy who designed the labels got a dui in 2007. so it turns out my instincts were right and you're a terrible person.

why the fuck does english have a word for

but not for “the day after tomorrow”

???

happy april fools. please take this egg

hahahahahha………………..

youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st

The very act of officially sanctioning a wizard orb destroys all its vibes

pondering my ricky rain frog