Love The Puns From Pun Hub

No one reads Pale which makes me so sad cause there’s so much cool shit in there and this latest chapter has so much smart people could examine to the point that even i can but no one would listen or understand any of it

Sometimes I think about the fact that under the Hawaiian Kingdom, Honolulu had electricity before most U.S cities, and Iolani Palace had electricity before the White House did, but today, the state of Hawaii ranks as having among the worst infrastructure of the U.S states. Colonialsm is so full of lies, of the “if it weren’t for the u.s you would be living in grass huts” variety

When the prophecy was given your first thought was to action you thought of ways to prevent it to remove the child to get rid of them. But then you looked at your a wife and you realized, you couldn’t no matter what you couldn’t break her heart like that. So you turned to the soothsayer, blind and deaf, yet knowing, seeing, and hearing and said.

“Thank you. You may go.”

Then you began preparing

you're far from the first king to receive the prophecy that your new born child would cause your death. Where your story diverges is when instead of tossing the kid to the wolves, you are driven to be a kind & nurturing father.

:)

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I made this a long time ago and was very nervous about posting it to Tumblr. I can’t really think of a good caption~ everything I wanted to say is in the little blurb at the beginning. 

‘God of Arepo’ Fan-made graphic novel 

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Read the Original Story Here

I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell

I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.

Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” 

why does this exist

what the fuck

I was cleaning out my computer and I found a bunch of screenshots of text posts from 2013-2014. The golden age of tumblr.

I take no credit for these posts.

If Yakko Wakko and Dot were SCP's theyd be classified as keter

Not because they're going to cause an end of the world scenario and end humanity itself

But simply because they're masters of escape and the foundation would just not be able to keep them in a place they didnt want to stay in.