I Mean In The Bible You Get Infinity Chances But Kind Of

Care to share with the class?

Making my little sister identify random Star Trek characters:

White Bread:

“If the computer ever doesn’t work, he sticks his finger in the socket and becomes the computer.”

“He hasn’t been outside in like, 80 years.”

“He cuts his own hair.”

Charles Xavier:

“He’s Captain Kirk’s father.”

“He comes onto the ship only for parent observation day, and he enjoys a good doughnut.”

Banana:

“He chose his name based on the color of his shirt. When you join the space, they let you pick a new name.”

“He works in the cafeteria, but everybody hates it because he only serves bananas.”

(This child has watched the original series. I don’t understand.)

Martha John:

“She used to be a nun, but she liked the space life instead, so she quit the sisterhood and joined the space.”

“White Bread cuts her hair too, with computer-like precision.”

“She hosts the ship’s karaoke party every Friday, and always opens with ‘My Heart Will Go On’.”

Darren:

“He’s the head of weapons” (said after I insisted that the ship has to have people with practical skills and not just party organizers.)

“When he joined, everyone thought he was so pretty they put his picture up everywhere.”

“He studies aliens but only the little ones.”

Winkle:

“They rescued Winkle from a bacon farm.”

“They give him a spray tan when he feels sad.”

“His job on the ship is he’s an emotional support animal, but he’s also a man.”

Sansha:

“What’s on her head?”

“Okay she studies space bugs, but when she flies around in space her visit only covers part of her face, so there’s bug debris.”

“She doesn’t like Winkle because he’s not a bug.”

“First name: He. Last name: Hears”

“He’s the professional ‘spakeup artist’ (space makeup artist). His job is to make them all look good.”

“Ears are in style right now.”

“His eyeshadow is on fleek.”

Dan:

“Just an ordinary man.”

“His part-time job is fixing the ship’s engines. His full-time job is being a footrest. He sits down and lets people rest their feet on him.”

“They’re not sure he’s human but don’t question him because he might have a deeper power.”

Lieclops:

“He lies.”

“He’s in charge of alien communications because he speaks a bunch of languages, but he only knows how to lie.”

“He has no eyes, only lies. That’s his motto. ‘All lies, no eyes’.”

use, and i cannot stress this enough, thriftbooks

I keep hate-reading plague literature from the medieval era, but as depressed as it makes me there is always one historical tidbit that makes me feel a little bittersweet and I like to revisit it. That’s the story of the village of Eyam.

"A long time ago, I had two parents. I was an only child. Then they died. I was in a house with two strangers. Then the strangers were my father and my... uncle? No, grandfather. I was still an only child. Until I had a brother. Then I didn't. I was an only child again. A friend became a sister. I got another brother. My old brother came back. He was different. But I was just glad he was back. An enemy became a friend... and then another sister. Then a random weirdo I didn't really like became a friend... and then another sister. Then one more brother just showed up... I hated him, until I loved him. That whole time, I wondered what family really was. I just figured it out. It's the people you love more than anyone else, the people you would die for- whether it not you're related. That's family. And I'm glad to be a part of this one."

-Dick Grayson, at some point

The average amount of days per month on which it rains where I'm from is 6 or 7. Today is rain day #24.

It's been raining off n' on round here all week. The lake is swallowing the beach and the calm, usually peaceful river is now class 5 rapids and impossible to hear yourself over. My grandpa's garden is prob gonna flood. The road is washed out and pavement is missing. Sand piled up so bad people can't leave their driveways. Flash flood warning. We're expecting another inch today. And here we are being sarcastic about it. New England, folks

I have so much homework lately 😩

The back left side of my mouth hurts are wisdom teeth a thing that happens at 15 normally

Back when I was less familiar with batfamily stuff, I had no idea who the signal was. I would see him listed in stuff and think people were counting the bat signal for some reason. People would say "Duke" and I was like "why are they calling Dick that so much it's not his name" and I would see art with this weird yellow guy. Eventually I connected the dots and looked him up 😅

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

Wait, HOW many kids?

Headcanon that certain members of the League - especially the Lanterns, who are away from Earth for significant quantities of time and can easily lose track of time - actually have no idea how many Robins there have been. Hal will come home from a long sojourn and greet a Robin with “hey Dick” only to be met with:

“I’m Tim. Dick hasn’t been Robin for three years now.”

None of the Green Lanterns can actually keep up with how many children Bruce has. During “We Are Robin,” Guy and Kyle frequently asked Bruce how many of those were his.

He refused to answer, simply because he enjoyed watching them squirm.