Heavilyglacialvalhalla - Valhalla

I cannot stand the parodies of modern major general, they're overdone and simply not as good as the original. They've done them about everything, whatever topic, big or small.

And when i notice one of them my eyes will always start to roll.

The diction's always slurry when they rush the complicated words, and adding many fricatives will turn it so cacophonous. The slanted rhymes are silly and they keep just making more and more, please someone stop the parodies of modern major general.

The scanning of the lyrics in the meter is unbearable, they emphazise the syllables in ways that are untenable, in short in matters musical, prosodic and ephemeral, i cannot stand the parodies of modern major general!

I love my rainbow unicorn! Honourable mention are my wolf and otter though.

i just think it says a lot about the person. my favorite is a bear named theodore

Yep, same. Also worth asking if bears are Catholic.

me: hey do you want some grapefruit?

wife: does the pope shit in the woods?

me:

wife:

me: …no?

wife: *does not break eye contact but very pointedly slurps the chunk of grapefruit off the spoon while nodding as if to say, uh, yeah. dummy.*

Aliens doing this to me would really annoy me. I enjoy my internal jukebox and don't mind if they listen in, as long as they don't skip the songs I like.

As such, HR would definitely get involved because I would just start playing very NSFW songs! 🤣

Telepathic aliens enjoy that humans will "play music" for hours at a time. When it's too mentally quiet on deck, they just announce the catchiest song titles they know and the humans will start thinking about it automatically.

The humans hate this so, so much.

Zorf: Human Steve, can you please play that song I like, the one with all the females

Steve: what

Zorf: A little bit of Monica in my life

Steve:

Steve: mother fu--

Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just: Here's a funny little joke Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept Here's a unique and well written simile Here's a lil guy Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!

And more Les Mis in the world just makes it more accessible for someone who may not otherwise be able to go see. If you can't see a really expensive professional performance where you have to travel to it, go see a local amateur group.

I've seen performances by amateurs with very little skill that were so incredibly enjoyable, often more than the professionals. Firstly, the people on stage are just having the best time, it's so exciting and they're making the most of it because their show probably only runs for a week tops. Secondly, the mistakes show they are human and you feel like you're on their side, supporting them telling this story to you. All round great experience.

All these things are natural human behaviours and we should all have opportunities to participate and watch no matter skill level or anything. Fully support this idea.

having grown up doing community theatre and then some professional shows, i genuinely believe from the very bottom of my heart it is crucial that any human with the desire to perform on a stage gets the chance as many times as they like. singing and dancing are innate to humanity yet we've made it inaccessible to all but the select few we deem "good enough" to tolerate. i think people with no pitch and no rhythm and who can't remember their lines should get to be in musicals and plays and choirs and i mean that.

and community performing arts groups & venues shouldn't have to rely on ticket sales to fund their programs. they should be paid for by taxes and freed to focus solely on engaging & enriching the communities in which they exist.

this morning NASA abandoned their mars rover Opportunity (aka Oppy) because it (she) got hit by a storm on Mars and it knocked her camera and wheels out and her last words to the team were “my battery is low and it is getting cold”. I know she’s a machine but I’m devastated. Oppy is the one who discovered water on Mars. RIP oppy ily space baby

Freshly bathed baby

I wanted to remember Terry Pratchett today, on the tenth anniversary of the day he met Death.

I don't really have the words, but his books spoke to me in ways others didn't.

GNU Terry Pratchett

And here's my attempt. It's the first story I've put on here, hope you like it.

The first sign something read wrong was the fuel pressure warning light. Pressure was dropping in the main tanks.

"Stax, the fuel pressure is dropping!" Shouted the pilot to the captain. Both were aliens from very dangerous death worlds, so every action was planned and contingencies planned. This was evolved into their species because failure to do so in their planet was generally fatal.

"We filled up at the last port." Freya, one of the ships humans informed the captain. She handled logistics and had overseen the purchase of fuel herself.

The captain, remained calm as they had a contingency for low fuel pressure, and that was to check the levels, and re pressurise the tanks. They were only staying on the same planet to sell the rest of their cargo on a different continent. Their plans included another refill stop if needed there.

"Follow the procedure. What are the current levels, Tovrio?".

The pilot checked the dials, but each time the number dropped so they couldn't get a reading.

This was something that wasn't planned for. They were actively losing fuel so fast they wouldn't make it to the next stop.

The pilot started to panic and yelled something incoherent at the captain. At this point, George the only other human on board walked in and asked what the fuss was. Add they were out of contingencies the captain told him what the situation was, then told them all what an honour it had been to fly with them all.

"Wait, you're giving up?!" Was the incredulous response. "Let me see what the problem is." And marched off. The captain made a final announcement telling the test of the alien crew that they were out of contingency plans and that they were losing fuel and wouldn't make it to their destination.

Freya had worked with a human logistics company back on Earth and this was not a dire emergency. Nothing that bad happened ever. She had no idea of course of the relative safety of Earth. Here there were many places where you couldn't even breath the air, and every creature was so heightened in their competitive survival instinct that they could kill you in an instant.

However, not knowing these details did the Humans a favour. George had already found the problem, sabotage by bots planted in the fuel that had gathered together and ruptured the tank after they'd left (knowing that the final checks would be done and they would be discovered if they activated before).

There was no official replacement and you needed to empty the tank before welding. So he got creative and solved the problem with some spare rubber from the bedding and air tight tape which wouldn't survive contact with the fuel but he only stuck it to the rubber.

Having stabilised the immediate problem, he informed Freya who was by then the only coherent person on the bridge. She took over flight controls and guided them gently to am unplanned stop where she'd heard fuel and propper repairs were available.

Captain Stax found this unbelievable. Thinking on their feet was not a strong point and they just stared in disbelief as the Homans just continued in the face of near certain death. Then they nearly collapsed when the problems had been solved. Both humans got a special recognition from the merchant fleet admiral and a new contingency of always having a human on board was formed.

Thus humans became one of the most well travelled species due to their adaptability and creativity in difficult situations.

Alternate take to the "earth is a death world". What if earth is one of the safest worlds out there?

This could cause the aliens to all have an extremely organised and well planned nature. If something isn't fully planned with contingencies, they just don't survive.

Humans ability to 'just wing it' is unusual and a little concerning. Similarly the human nature to attempt to make friends with local creatures is seen as near suicide to the aliens.

Story to come, just wanted to get the concept written and remembered.