Accurately-titled Novels. 

somehow I got 95/20 on an assignment

I hope they never fix it and leave it this way forever

Hey, hey

@lbardugo is gay marriage legal in Kerch? This is important.

i am LIVING for the “does baz have abs” feud on twitter with @rainbowrowell !

shoutout to those random peacocks you find in places that are probably unsuitable for a peacock to inhabit in the first place

OH MY GOD

Asking your patient more about their delusions/hallucinations

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academia is fake you can only trust your fists

“i’m sad and idk how to feel better”

“i don’t know what to draw”

“i always mess up”

“BUT I SUCK”

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”