𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭...

imagine long-term bf katsuki being hung up on what engagement ring to buy you. he’s gnawing at his cheeks, constantly sighing and running his fingers through his hair for a couple of months, trying to find a ring that’s good enough for you.

after patrol, he browses every reputable jewellery store in tokyo, searching for your engagement ring. he takes pictures of every one he thinks might suit you and sends them to eijiro.

shitty hair: idk about this one man. diamonds are nice but y/n gives more garnet or ruby vibes

explosive: the fuck you mean? i have to get her diamonds

shitty hair: nah bro, you should get something that suits her. not every girl wants diamonds.

explosive: stfu i know what she wants better than you do

shitty hair: 🤷‍♂️ just my opinion man

you noticed immediately that katsuki was coming home later than he usually does. you didn’t say anything at first because maybe something came up, and he did seem really exhausted.

but as weeks turn into months, you become suspicious. what is it that your boyfriend's doing after work that you can’t know about. he hasn’t changed how he treats you. if anything, he’s been even softer and sweeter with you lately.

you decide to confront him about it.

you sit at the kitchen table, waiting for him to come home. as 8pm fades into 10pm and drips into 12am, your anxiety ramps up. your palms are all sweaty and your heart beats erratically in your chest.

you’re on your feet as soon as the lock eventually clicks and the front door is forced open. you stalk up to a sleepy katsuki, who flings his duffel bag on the floor with a sigh.

when he turns around, you’re looking at him angrier than ever. there’s fire in your eyes as you stare up at him, your brows knitted together and jaw tight.

you spit out, “where have you been?” katsuki blinks slowly, too tired to register your words and respond. he moves to throw his arms around you, but you step back, dodging his embrace.

this time, you repeat yourself with more venom, “where have you been?” you sigh, “i’ve been waiting for you since eight.”

he grunts thickly, “why’d you stay up, babe?” you roll your eyes and slightly suck in your cheeks.

you say exasperatedly, “because i was worried about you. you’ve been coming home late from work for the last two months now.” you fold your arms beneath your chest as you scold him, “so where have you been?! seriously, like, where the fuck have you been wandering off to while i make you dinner and do your laundry?”

katsuki shakes his head, whispering, “baby, s’not like that.”

you catch his words and scoff, “so then, what is it like? i clearly don’t know so why don’t you tell me?”

his full lips draw into a hard line as he huffs, contemplating whether to tell you he’s been hunting for the perfect engagement ring for his perfect girl… and that he’s finally found one. it wasn’t easy, especially since he has just put up with yappertron 3000 chargebolt, skateboard freak elbows, and shitty hair for the past three hours while acquiring this ring.

he bites his tongue, mumbling, “look, i’ve just been busy, yea?”

you chuckle derisively, “you’ve been busy? right, okay.” you turn around and begin walking away from him when he catches your elbow. his grip is firm but considerate.

he tugs you back, making you stumble into his chest. you try to shove him away, but he doesn’t even budge as he draws you into his arms, wrapping you up tightly.

you shout, “just fuck off, katsuki!”

wincing, he rests his chin on the top of your head and murmurs, “no more late nights, baby, i promise. at least not for a while.” his body is so warm against yours, and his musk is so strong. you give up your assault on his concealed but delicious muscles and still in his grasp.

you grumble, “it’s not about the late nights, katsuki. it’s about you keeping things from me.” he kisses the top of your head and rubs circles on your back with his calloused palms.

he mutters into your hair, “i’ll tell you soon, okay?” you shake your head before tilting it back, returning his soft gaze with your harsher one.

you murmur, “so you’re not cheating on me? or are you cheating on me but intend to come clean?” your boyfriend’s mouth falls open as he stares at you, his blond brows raised slightly. regaining his composure, his usual scowl is back on his face.

he grumbles, “cheating? why the fuck would i be cheating on you?!” he licks his lips and gazes past you for a moment, sighing, “for fuck’s sake, babe. god, why the fuck would i be cheating on you? d’you really think i’m a cheater?!” you shake your head, taken aback by his sudden frustration.

he shouts, “I’VE NEVER CHEATED! NEVER! NOT LIKE FUCK-ASS DEKU WHO DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A QUIRK AND THEN—”

you gently pat his chest as you try to soothe him, “okay, okay, honey, it’s okay. i know you’re not a cheater.” after a few minutes, he calms down (for the most part).

he grunts, “d’you really think i’d do that?” a droplet of his spit hits your eyebrow. you go to wipe it away but he beats you to it, apologising all the while. you reassure him it's okay as you stroke his well-defined back up and down.

you say softly, “of course not. but if you’re not cheating on me, then what else are you doing? i just don’t understand, suki.” he shakes his head before settling back into the crook of your neck; his resting place.

he murmurs into your hot flesh, “just give me a few days n’ i’ll tell you, alright?” you pull back, cupping his cheeks with your hands while his fingers clench the back of your shirt.

you shake your head, saying, “you can tell me now.”

he huffs, “babe—”

“no,” you cut him off. “tell me now. i deserve to know why you’ve been coming home so late.” he gazes down momentarily as his fingers curl into your shirt even more, close to tearing the fabric with how tight his grip is.

he mumbles, “stubborn brat.”

it’s like something snaps. he releases your shirt from his killer grasp and smirks. he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a velvety red, ring box.

he grabs your wrist and places it in your palm, saying, “that’s the reason.” he gazes at you expectantly, waiting for you to open the box. but you’re in shock.

your wide eyes bore into his narrow ones as you blink dumbly. your lips are slightly parted, open enough for the flies to make a home in your mouth. and they could with how little you’re registering right now. you can’t think or speak or move. all you know is that your long-term partner just placed a ring box in your hand.

katsuki rolls his eyes, attempting to hide the pain in his expression as you continue staring at him. he huffs, “well, are you gonna open it or not?”

you nod, your mouth awfully dry. you seal your lips as you shakily open the box. inside is the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen. leaves protrude from the band and petals encircle a bright ruby glistening in the golden living room light; a rose. your gaze flickers up to him before switching back to the ring, and then back up to him.

you stutter, “a-are y-you, u-um, a-ask-asking m-me t-too—”

“yes,” he says solemnly. “you’re everything to me, baby. s-so, yea, will you be my wife?” you nod furiously. smirking, he takes the little box from your hand and slips the ring onto your finger. all the tension pent up in his body dissipates as he embraces you once more.

you squeeze his slutty waist tight as you begin tearing up, trying to process that your boyfriend just became your fiancé. katsuki sweetly kisses your forehead before resting his against yours.

he mutters, “i don’t tell you how much i love you enough. clearly like fuck. i fuckin’ love you, baby girl. more than you’ll ever know.”

a/n: link to the engagement ring design here (please lmk if it doesn't work); just imagine that it's a ruby and not a diamond.

thinking abt unofficialbf!katsuki

unofficialbf!katsuki who's abrasive and rude and loud until you're near him. he almost instantly sizzles down

unofficialbf!katsuki who proudly declared you as "his" when you were 4 after you accepted his bouquet of dandelions and its kind of just stuck since then

unofficialbf!katsuki who, after that, began proudly holding your hand and marching around with you. at some point, it just became a habit for him to reach for your hand, continuing even as you got older

unofficialbf!katsuki who still apologizes to you the same way as when you two were kids. he holds your hand and looks away as he mutters "'m sorry.." with rosy cheeks. when he really messes up, he'll bury his nose into your neck and hold you close and whisper a genuine apology into your ear. he'll struggle for the right words and get super flustered, but you know hes trying!!

unofficialbf!katsuki who, for as long as izuku could remember, has been a package deal with you

unofficialbf!katsuki who is practically inseparable from you. like youre not hugging in class or anything but theres just this unnecessary proximity with you guys? you're always just unexplainably close for no reason

unofficialbf!katsuki who carries your bag everywhere. he complains that you "can't even carry your own damn bags!!" but would never let you carry them

unofficialbf!katsuki! who beats his friends up for being stupid when they don’t understand something he’s teaching them, but is so gentle when teaching you. he gets real close and talks in this low rumbly voice that’s just SO HOT

unofficialbf!katsuki whos an asshole to everyone but you

unofficialbf!katsuki who, despite being unnaturally nice to you and finds it hard to be/stay mad at you, gets really genuinely angry when you get reckless when fighting. the only times hes ever really yelled at you for real were when you put yourself in danger

unofficialbf!katsuki who doesnt care if mineta and kaminari ogle the other girls but would blow them up if they so much as laid an eye on you

unofficialbf!katsuki who tries to hide the way his eyes soften whenever you talk

unofficialbf!katsuki who, due to your childhood marriage/relationship/idk-its-complicated, is really comfortable with touching you. he would never let any of those other extras touch him, but he never hesitates to grasp your hand when you're scared, grab your waist to pull you in when he just wants you closer, or even pull you into his lap (in private) to cuddle. he has no problem manhandling you and throwing you over his shoulder or even carrying you bride-style when he's reaaally feeling confident. when you sit next to each other, his hands easily find your thigh almost subconsciously to rub his thumb over it soothingly

unofficialbf!katsuki who you've been having tickle fights with since you were little! he would never DARE hit you like he would those other losers, so he tickles you when he thinks you're being annoying. he knows all of your ticklish spots and still uses it against you when he thinks you're being bratty (or when he just wants to hear you laugh, but he'd die before he admits it)

unofficialbf!katsuki who LOVES cuddling with you! (would never admit it) you get all loud and fussy sometimes (no one is allowed to sass him other than you) so he just pulls you close to his chest and drags his fingertips up and down your back in the way he knows you like. he loves how it gets you all quiet and sleepy and clingy in a matter of minutes. he wonders if you notice the way that after just a couple minutes, your speech starts to slur and you bury your face into his chest or neck. (he does. he notices.)

unofficialbf!katsuki who you've been cuddling since you were kids so it just sort of continued as you two got older? you've known him for forever, so it never felt weird or anything. its just oddly natural? mitsuki has photos of you two cuddling from ages like 4-now.

speaking of mitsuki!! she absolutely ADORES you and unofficialbf!katsuki HATES it! he always mutters about how she likes you more than him whenever you come over, which is like everyday, which she always affirms happily. calls you "my sweet y/n-chan," "sweetheart," "dear," "lovely," and of course "my future daughter-in-law." (katsuki always tells her to "SHUT UP, OLD HAG" with bright red cheeks)

unofficialbf!katsuki whose grumpy moods and grumbles are easily halted by you running your hands through his blond spikes, which always turns him into putty in your hands

unofficialbf!katsuki who always has you in his dorm. he has this thing about nobody, not sero or denki or even kirishima being allowed in his bed when they hangout, but he lets you with no problem. in fact, he's the one who drags you into his bed with him.

unofficialbf!katsuki whose classmates have literally placed bets on when his balls will drop and he'll make you his official girlfriend (he cursed them out and blew stuff up when he found out)

can you tell im a sucker for the just friends/unofficial bf trope...

The cool, marble countertops send a shiver up your spine, but you don't seem to care. Instead of complaints, a giggle leaves your mouth, hands tightening around Dazai's shoulders. Feeling him scoop you up and set you onto the kitchen counter so easily made you swoon, which only deepened the make out session you two were currently engaged in. His hands kept moving from your hips to your ass, wanting to feel your body under his fingers as he held you close.

You both couldn't help giggling, feeling giddy at the touches and kisses being shared during such early hours. Pajama shorts riding up your thighs, a stretched-out and loose t-shirt showing off Dazai's bare neck and collar bones... it was all so intimate. There was no one around, just the two of you and the early morning sun dancing across the room as your legs moved up to cage Dazai in. More giggles erupted from him before pulling back, cutely flushed cheeks on display for just you to see. No words were shared, just heavy breaths and loving stares as your brains worked on properly waking up.

“Y’know, maybe I should skip work today.”

“You said the same thing yesterday, Osamu.”

father and son

bonding time

Forever yours.

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Summary, The only reason why you even agreed to marry him was for your father. Now you wish you could go back in time and reject the offer.

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating, mean gojo,

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message also sorry any of the spelling errors.

9k words

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It had been a few months since then, going to your honeymoon on July, and now it was November with Thanksgiving just around the corner. The autumn leaves were turning shades of red, orange, and yellow, reminding you of the honeymoon you and your spouse had taken just a few months ago.

Despite the fact that you and Satoru had been married for quite some time now, your relationship seemed to be stuck in a rut. He continued to ignore you, never joining you for dinner or spending time with you in the large mansion you had moved into. It was as if nothing had changed between the two of you.

You couldn't help but feel anxious and nervous as you waited for the results. It had been a rollercoaster of emotions for the past few months, with Satoru's constant reminders and tracking of your ovulation and periods. Now, all you could do was wait for the pregnancy test to give you the answer you were desperately hoping for, or dreading.

The anxiety and fear of a potential pregnancy weighed heavily on your mind as you waited for the results. You couldn't help but think about how your life would change if the test turned out positive. Would you be ready for motherhood? Would Satoru be ready to become a father? You hated to admit it but deep down you were hoping for a negative result.

As you stared at the calendar, your eyes scanned over the days until they finally landed on one that stood out to you. "Most likely to get pregnant." The bright red letters seemed to jump off the page, catching your attention and bringing back vivid memories.

You remembered that day so clearly - coming home from a family party with Satoru, feeling hurt and insulted by his words and actions, yet still unable to resist him when he made love to you. It was a painful reminder of the complicated and toxic dynamic between the two of you.

Despite spending a significant amount of time with him, you couldn't help but feel like there was a lack of connection between the two of you. There were days when it seemed like he was just tolerating your presence, and on other days, he would completely ignore you. Your hands would often tremble in his presence, and you couldn't understand why. Perhaps it was the feeling of uncertainty and unease that he brought to the table, leaving you with an unsettling feeling whenever you were around him.

The thought of Satoru being the father of your child filled you with dread and anxiety. You couldn't help but feel sick to your stomach, unsure if it was from the potential pregnancy or the overwhelming emotions you were experiencing.

The idea of bringing a child into a world of parents who despised each other was overwhelming and you couldn't help but question if this was really the best option for you and your child.

There was one major secret you hadn’t told your husband. Most of the women in your family, including your mother, had suffered from fertility issues. Your mother had experienced three miscarriages, and it was a common occurrence for babies in your family to not make it past the first trimester of pregnancy.

The fear of not being able to have a child of your own consumed your every thought. You were too afraid to go for testing and receive a definitive answer. Your mind raced with all the possible outcomes and you couldn't sit still, pacing back and forth from your room.

The thumps of your sole foot could be heard, a physical manifestation of your anxiety. You were so anxious, you wanted to scream and rip out your hair in frustration.

Once, only once in your life you had actually went to go test your fertility. Once you had gotten the results back you were too afraid to look at them. At the time Toji was still your boyfriend, he had reassured you that he didn’t care if you were infertile or not because all he cared was that he had you.

So you did what most people would do, you threw the dumb envelope away and never thought about it since. But yet the thought came to mind now. How would satoru react about this?

Your mind wandered to the contract you had signed with him. It was a business marriage, a union of convenience. You had no love for each other, no emotional connection. The only thing you could provide for him was your body, your uterus, and the ability to bear his child.

You were nothing but a means to an end, a tool in his pursuit of success. You ran your fingers through your hair, feeling trapped and suffocated in this loveless arrangement. Suddenly, the loud sound of your alarm going off startled you out of your thoughts, reminding you of the reality you were living in.

Your hand trembled as you slowly walked towards your drawer, where the pregnancy test awaited. Your heart practically jumping out of your chest with each step. You hated to admit it, but you really did hope the test would come back negative.

The thought of being pregnant at this point in your life was terrifying. You reached for the test, your hand shaking as you turned it over to look at the result. For a moment, the whole world seemed to stop moving. It was like those dramatic scenes in a movie when a character finds out something life-changing.

You held your breath as you stared at the small window, waiting for the result to appear.

You let out a deep sigh of relief, your heart pounding in your chest as you stared at the negative test in your hand. The weight of anxiety and fear lifted off your shoulders, and for a brief moment, you felt a sense of pure joy and happiness.

You couldn't believe you had finally received the answer you had been hoping for. Suddenly, the urge to celebrate overwhelmed you, and you wanted nothing more than to jump up and down in excitement.

But as you were about to do so, your bedroom door flew open, and your tall, white-haired husband stormed in, his expensive Christian Louboutin shoes making a loud thumping noise on the hardwood floor. Immediately, your celebration came to an end as you braced yourself for whatever was about to come.

Your husband stood before you, unbuttoning the sleeves of his immaculate white dress shirt, his expression unreadable. You knew that something was wrong, and your moment of relief was quickly replaced with a sense of dread.

You felt a wave of panic wash over you as you hastily shoved the pregnancy test into one of your drawers. Turning around, you put on a smile and walked towards your husband, helping him out of his suit and hanging it neatly in your closet.

Your heart sank as you noticed the stained red lipstick on the neckline of his suit. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy as you remembered that Jiyuu was one of his representatives in his business. You forced a smile and asked, "How was work?" trying to hide your true emotions.

You pursed your lips, a hint of disappointment evident on your face. "It was good," he said, noticing your reaction as you hung the suit up.

You silently walked back towards the room, Satoru was shirtless, rummaging through his closet for a shirt to wear. You couldn't help but admire his toned physique and the way his muscles flexed as he searched for a shirt.

Your mind wandered, imagining what it would feel like to run your hands over his chest. You quickly shook the thought from your mind, reminding yourself that he care for you.

"That's nice," you said with a small smile, feeling a twinge of nervousness as you bit the inside of your cheek.

You knew you shouldn't be pushing his buttons, let alone asking about his lover, but you just couldn't take it anymore. The anxious nights of awaiting his arrival, only to have him come home late or not at all, were taking a toll on you.

There were days where you couldn't even sleep without him by your side, and the constant worry and doubt were consuming your thoughts.

Yet, you couldn't stop yourself from asking about his whereabouts and who he was with, hoping for some reassurance or closure. But each time, the conversation just ended in more frustration and heartache.

“Satoru?” You felt a pang of jealousy and anger as you watched Satoru dress himself, trying to hide the evidence of his infidelity. His back, strong and toned from his workouts, was a reminder of how attractive he was to other women.

You couldn't help but notice the hickies on his neck, the scent of Burberry her perfume lingering in the air, and the red lipstick stains on his collar. You were tired of pretending not to see these signs of his unfaithfulness, but you couldn't bring yourself to confront him about it.

You hated how he made you feel insecure and unworthy, but you couldn't seem to walk away from him either. The constant inner turmoil was draining and exhausting, but you were willing to endure it for a chance to be with him.

He hummed, turning to face you. You felt the anger bubbling up inside of you as you looked at him, his casual demeanor and nonchalant attitude driving you insane. “Are you still seeing Jiyuu?” Your fists clenched at your sides as you resisted the urge to lash out at him.

His nonchalant attitude towards your feelings only added fuel to the fire, making you want to punch him even more. You could feel the hurt and betrayal in your gaze as you looked at him.

With a defeated sigh, his words stung as he spoke, "There's no reason for me to lie anymore. Jiyuu, she's the woman I love. Not you." His tone was harsh and final as he turned and walked away, leaving you to process the heart-wrenching truth.

The realization that you were not the one he loved, despite all your efforts, was a hard pill to swallow.

You followed him, feeling a surge of anger and betrayal. You couldn't believe he was with her again. He always seemed to have an excuse, whether it was work or hanging out with friends, but you knew the truth.

Your gut told you that he was always with her, and the evidence was becoming harder to ignore. You couldn't understand why he would continue to lie and break your trust.

"Stop pretending you care, stop trying to love me Y/N. All you're going to do is make things worse," he said with a resigned sigh. You were taken aback by his words, feeling like you had been punched in the gut.

You wanted to break down and cry, but you knew it would only push him away further. You couldn't help but wonder how it would feel to be comforted by him, to have him hold you and tell you everything would be okay.

But deep down, you knew that would never happen.

"Please," he began, his voice filled with hesitation as he turned to walk away from you once again. The irony was not lost on you - it seemed that everyone in your life had a tendency to walk away from you. Whether it was a friend, a family member, or a romantic partner, it always ended the same way.

You hated the feeling of begging and appearing so desperate. It made you feel small and unworthy, especially when you had to plead with your own husband. "Please Satoru, we're married. Can't you spare some time for me?" you would say, hoping for a glimmer of attention or affection.

The man's long, veiny hand ran through his shock of white hair as he licked his lips, his face coming dangerously close to yours. You could feel his hot breath on your skin as he spoke. "Fine," he growled. "My friends are going to a cabin this weekend." The intensity of his gaze made you feel uneasy.

Your eyes glimmered, a cabin. You always wanted to go to a cabin, one with snow. “Just me and you?” He nodded before slamming the door.

Why?

Why did the world have to be so cruel to you?

As you walked along the coastline, you could feel a gentle caress on your skin as the warm sand touched your feet. The grainy texture of the sand added a dimension of realism that heightened your sensory experience. The sensation of moving through the fine-grained sand was both soothing and invigorating, evoking a sense of tranquility and connection with the natural world.

The sand beneath your feet had a texture that was both soft and coarse. It felt comfortable as it massaged the soles of your feet, but it also provided a sturdy base that supported you as you walked.

He stood there, his hair flowing gently in the wind. The gusty breeze rushed through his face, causing his eyes to flutter slightly.

"Toji?" you called out, your voice filled with a mixture of excitement and concern.

Toji's face lit up when he saw you, a smile spreading across his face. He took a few steps towards you, his eyes filled with warmth and affection.

"Hey," he said, his voice echoing in the silence of the open field.

You ran to him, throwing your hands behind his neck, holding him so tight you felt his heartbeat through his chest. The feeling of his warm embrace brought tears to your eyes as you realized how much you had missed him. In that moment, nothing else mattered except being in his arms and feeling his love.

what did you do to deserve this?

A shiver ran down your spine as his hand gently touched your cheek, his forehead pressed against yours. You couldn't help but get lost in his intense gaze, his dark blue eyes seeming to look into the depths of your soul.

It felt so real.

"I love you," he whispered, his voice full of emotion as he looked at you with such tenderness. His hands, rough from years of hard work, gently caressed your skin, making your heart swell with love for him. Tears formed in your eyes as you realized how much you wanted this life with him, full of love and happiness.

The thought of him moving on and finding someone else to share his life with was unbearable. It was as if a part of you was being ripped away. His touch, his kiss, his presence - it all felt like home to you.

You couldn't imagine anyone else taking your place by his side. You wanted to be the one to spend forever with him, to grow old together and experience all of life's ups and downs by his side. The thought of someone else filling that role was too painful to even consider. You couldn't let him go. He was your soulmate, your other half.

Tears fell down, knowing that one day you would never find someone who loved and cherished you as much as you loved and cherished him.

"You have to let me go Y/N." He pulled away from you. There it was that stupid geniune smile he always gave you. You broke down sobbing on his chest as he held you.

Why did your brain have to do this to you?

He cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. "I promise you, I'll always love you." You shook your head, unable to accept his words

"I don't want to lose you," you cried. "I can't imagine my life without you." He gently wiped away your tears, his expression filled with sadness.

"I know, but it's for the best," he said softly. You didn't want to let him go, but you knew deep down that he was right. You hugged him tighter, trying to hold onto the moment for as long as you could.

"Toji, before I go," You said the sunset casting a golden light on his perfect face. You couldn't help but admire him, even in this bittersweet moment.

"Why couldn't you just stop the wedding?" Your voice cracked as you asked the question, tears welling up in your eyes. "Why didn't you just run away with me?" You couldn't understand why he didn't choose you, why he couldn't see that you were meant to be together.

Your heart ached at the thought of being Satoru's wife instead of his, but you couldn't bring yourself to say it out loud. The pain was too much to bear.

With a heavy heart, he looked at you with a bittersweet smile, gently tucking a stray hair behind your ear. "Y/N, I knew I couldn't stop the wedding because deep down, I know I'll never be able to provide for you as well as he can."

He continued to look at you with a mixture of sadness and love, knowing that he had to let you go. "But I promise to always be there for you, no matter what. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I hope he can give that to you." With one last gentle touch, he turned and walked away, leaving you to contemplate his bittersweet words.

You stood there, his touch still lingering on your skin. The memories of your time together flooded back, each one stinging like a fresh wound. As you watched him walk away, you couldn't help but feel a sense of loss and regret. You whispered, "We almost had it all," knowing that things could have been different if only you had made different choices. But now, as he disappeared from your sight, you knew it was too late.

You were so in love with Toji, and it wasn't just because he was there to heal your heart after the previous relationship left it shattered. It was because he was your true love, the one who knew you better than anyone else. Every morning, he would hold you tightly, cherishing the sight of your bare face and your plump lips.

Even with morning breath, he didn't care because being with you was all that mattered to him. He would always be there to hold you, to kiss you tenderly, and to remind you of just how much you mean to him. Every moment with him felt like a dream come true, and you couldn't imagine your life without him.

However, things quickly changed when you met your now current husband. The arranged marriage ruined everything for you and Toji, destroying the perfect life you had imagined since you first started dating. The apartment, the cat, and the financial stability were all gone, along with the hope of a future together. Now, you are left with a broken heart and shattered dreams..

As you stood frozen on the beach, you could feel your heart shatter into a million pieces. You wanted to scream his name, to beg him to stay, but your voice was lost in the overwhelming pain and shock. With a loud thump, your knees hit the sand, the impact almost jolting you out of your trance.

Your hands instinctively gripped the fabric of your skirt, as if trying to cling onto some sense of stability. And as the tears fell from your eyes, you could feel the weight of your heartache slowly drip down your face.

You awoke, tears streaming down your face. You stared at the laces of your boots. The sound of the wind blowing waking you up. The trip to the cabin was at least 4 hours.

The pounding headache that had not been present when you woke up this morning was now throbbing behind your eyes, making it difficult to focus on anything else.

You were dressed to impress, wearing black flared pants that accentuated your legs, paired with your favorite Chanel boots that added a touch of luxury to your outfit. Your tight red turtle neck hugged your figure perfectly, highlighting your curves in all the right places.

Satoru, on the other hand, opted for a more comfortable yet classy look. He wore a cozy sweater, with a long white t-shirt peeking out underneath. His blue Dickies pants were held up by a stylish Gucci belt.

Your muscles ached from sitting in the same position for hours on end. As you shifted in your seat, you could feel the soreness spreading through your body, making it hard to focus on anything else. Satoru’s black Tucker jacket was stretched on your thighs. Nervously you began to play with the collar.

You wanted to get up and stretch, but the stern expression on Satoru's face made you think twice. You could tell he was deep in thought and didn't want to be disturbed, so you pursed your lips and remained silent.

You couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if things were different. In another universe, perhaps you and Satoru could have a great relationship. Maybe you could even be more than just friends. You couldn't deny the fact that Satoru was incredibly attractive, with his charm and poise only adding to his perfection.

You checked your phone, clicking on the small button for it to turn on. Great, no service. You threw it back inside your purse before looking out the window. The snow continuously falling down as you made your way to your cabin.

Maybe in another life, he had met his true love and they lived a happy life together. Perhaps you both could have had fulfilling relationships with your own partners, instead of being stuck in an unhappy marriage.

As you caught sight of the cabin nestled in the woods, you felt a wave of relief wash over you. Multiple cars, all of them expensive models, were parked in the front, giving you a sense of security.

You sat up straighter in your seat, mentally preparing yourself for the meeting ahead, and gathered all your belongings as Satoru expertly parked the car next to a sleek and luxurious Rolls-Royce.

As you stepped out of the car, the cold air nipped at your exposed skin. You shivered and pulled your coat tighter around you, grateful for the warmth it provided.

Satoru, noticing your discomfort, immediately came over to you and took his jacket from your hands, gently putting it on. You smiled gratefully at him as he wrapped his arm around your waist, leading you towards your destination.

As Satoru closed the car door, he reached for your hand, intertwining his long fingers with yours. You felt a sense of security and warmth flood through you as you admired the beauty of the cabin. The snow falling gently around the roof added to the picturesque scene, making it even more enchanting.

"Satoru!" You instantly recognized the voice of the woman. Her long, brown hair swayed as she made her way towards the two of you, a bright smile on her face.

The woman embraced Satoru, pulling him close in a warm hug. As she stepped back, you recognized her as the lady from the party in Santorini. "I'm so glad you could make it," she said with a smile, gesturing for you both to come inside.

"It's freezing out here." You could see her breath in the cold winter air, her words serving as a reminder of the chilly weather outside.

The only thing different about her was the baby bump she was missing. Satoru, with his long and lean figure, walked alongside you as you made your way towards the entrance. His height was quite impressive, making you feel small in comparison. As Shoko beckoned you to join her inside, you eagerly followed, not wanting to waste any time.

As you entered the warm, bustling room, you took a moment to take in the scene. The majority of the guests from the party were already here, chatting and laughing with each other.

You quickly removed your boots, shaking off the snow and placed them by the door. Your feet were cold, so you grabbed your trusty pair of uggs and slipped them on, feeling the warmth and comfort immediately.

As you and Satoru walked inside, you couldn't help but notice the stares of everyone around you. Many of them were his friends, who you had met during your time together. One of them, feeling sympathetic, offered to take your luggage to your room for you.

You gratefully handed it over, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot to you in that moment. You gave him a smile and a word of thanks before turning back to Satoru.

You found yourself comfortably seated on the plush couch. Everyone seemed to be engaged in conversations, their voices blending together in a pleasant symphony. From the couch, you had a clear view of the room, filled with warm lighting and cozy furnishings.

"So Shoko, where exactly is the baby?" Satoru inquired, removing his jacket and draping it over your lap. As he did so, you couldn't help but notice his veiny hands, a common feature of his. He placed his hand on your thigh, the veins popping out even more prominently.

"Hes sleeping but once hes awake your one of the first people he’ll meet," she said with a smile. She got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen.

Satoru felt a sudden jolt as a hand was placed on his shoulder, causing him to snap his neck in surprise to see who it was. His eyes widened as he recognized the person standing behind him - Geto.

His friend “Getou” was tall, towering over most people he encountered. His long black hair was usually tied back in a ponytail, but today it hung loosely around his face. He was dressed in all black, a black sweatshirt and matching black pants that seemed to be a staple in his wardrobe.

However, his appearance was overshadowed by the noticeable dark circles under his eyes, hinting at the fact that he was having trouble sleeping. He looked tired and worn out, as if he had been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Feeling a sense of loneliness, you watched as Satoru quickly got up and left, seemingly forgetting about your existence. As you sat alone, people stopped by to ask about your well-being and how your marriage was going, but it was something you had grown accustomed to.

The constant inquiries and reminders of your failed marriage only added to the feeling of isolation and heartache.

"Y/N!" Surprisingly, you instantly recognized that voice as your college friend. Your heart warmed as you turned to face her, a huge smile spreading across your face. It had been years since you last saw each other, but it felt like no time had passed at all.

As you saw your old friend, "Utahime?", you couldn't help but break into a wide smile. Your cheeks began to hurt from the sheer joy and excitement of seeing her again after so long. You practically jumped into her arms, hugging her tightly.

The familiar scent of her Coco Chanel perfume filled your nostrils, bringing back a flood of memories from your college days together.

"It's been so long!" she exclaimed, her voice full of genuine surprise and delight. She quickly pulled you into a tight embrace, her hands gripping the sides of your arms. "What brings you here?" she asked with a smile.

"I'm actually married now," you replied, a mixture of happiness and nervousness bubbling inside of you.

Her eyes lit up with that familiar look she always gave you, a look that made you feel seen and loved. It was as if no time had passed between the two of you, and you couldn't help but feel grateful to have her in your life.

"It's amazing how life can surprise us," she said as she motioned for you to join her outside. You sat down on the chairs, huddled together by the warm fire. Looking at the stars, she continued, "Out of all the people I met in college, I never would have guessed that you would be the one to settle down so early. You were always the adventurous type, ready to take on the world."

She smiled at you, "But I guess love has a way of changing us, doesn't it?" You smiled back, grateful for her understanding and support. As the fire crackled and the night grew darker, you shared stories and laughs. grateful for the unexpected turn your life had taken.

You talked for what seemed like hours on end, catching up with her felt like a fairytale. She shared all the exciting details of her life over the past few years, including graduating college and finding her dream job.

"So here I am, personally, as a Gynecologist," Utahime said, looking at shoko, who was gently rocking her baby back and forth, who looked up at you with interest.

"And Shoko here is an endocrinologist," she continued, gesturing towards her. “We both have specialized medical knowledge, but in different areas of expertise.”

Shoko got up from her seat and decided to sit next to you and Utahime. "Is that so? I'm so glad everything turned out to be good for you," you said, smiling warmly at Utahime. As you looked at her, you noticed a shift in her facial features. Her previously tense and worried expression had transformed into one of relief and contentment.

As you saw her for the first time in years, you couldn't help but notice the changes in her appearance. Her face had matured, no longer the round and soft baby face you remembered. Instead, she now had a more stern and defined structure, giving her a sense of authority and experience.

Despite the visible scar on her face, she seemed to radiate a glow that only added to her beauty.

The woman spoke softly, her voice filled with genuine concern. "I know how much you and Satoru have been wanting to have a baby," she said, leaning in closer. "As a gynecologist, I have some tips and advice that could help you both. And if you ever need any check-ups or consultations, you are more than welcome to come to my office." Her warm smile and the flickering light from the fire highlighted the purple strands in her hair, making her seem almost ethereal.

"Well, that's the thing," you said, looking at Shoko. "You're an endocrinologist, right?” Shoko nodded, her focus shifting to wrapping her newborn baby in a warmer blanket.

You were nervous and hesitant to ask, but you needed to know. "They're the ones who specialize in hormones," you said, your voice shaky. "Do you also specialize in infertility?" You raised an eyebrow, trying to gauge their reaction.

Utahime and Shoko exchanged a concerned look before turning back to you. Their expressions were serious as they nodded their heads in confirmation. You let out a sigh of relief, grateful that you had found doctors who could help you with your fertility struggles.

"Yes, why? Are you having trouble getting pregnant?" she asked, tilting her head in concern. The fire crackled loudly, each second passing by filled with tension and worry.

"My family has a history of hormone imbalances and fertility problems, and I wanted to get tested to see if I may have inherited these issues. Plus, it would be reassuring to get tested by someone I know and trust," you explained to your friend.

As you spoke, her expression softened and she absentmindedly played with her baby's chubby hands while listening. Her support and understanding made you feel more at ease about the situation.

“Absolutely, you know what. I’ll send Satoru my info-“ you quickly interrupted her.

"No no no," you pleaded, "he cannot know about this. Please." You looked away from her piercing stare, feeling ashamed and afraid that she might go and tell your husband. The secret you were keeping was eating away at you, and the thought of your husband finding out was unbearable.

“Of course, you’re my friend after all. Here,” She grabbed her purse.

"Can you hold him for just a moment?" She asked, handing you her baby. You couldn't resist the urge to reach out and take the little bundle into your arms. He immediately stared at you, his dark brown eyes searching your face curiously.

You couldn't help but smile at the adorable little face looking up at you. "He's so cute," you commented, and the mother beamed with pride. "Thank you, I'm glad you think so. He seems to like you," she replied, noticing how her baby was now reaching out towards you.

You couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and connection with the little one in your arms, even though you had just met. It was a small moment, but it brought a smile to your face and warmed your heart.

As the baby's chubby hands grasped onto your finger and their big eyes looked up at you in innocent wonder, you couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and joy.

You found yourself gently playing with the baby, making silly faces and noises that made them giggle and coo. In that moment, all your worries and troubles seemed to fade away, replaced by the pure happiness of being in the presence of a child.

As you held the baby in your arms, you couldn't help but think about the possibility of being infertile. The thought of not being able to have a child of your own was heartbreaking. However, in this moment, with the chubby-cheeked baby in your arms, all those worries faded away.

You brought the baby closer, feeling his soft breaths against your skin. As he began playing with your hair, you couldn't help but admire him. He was a spitting image of Shoko, with her almond-shaped eyes and button nose, but he also had features that definitely resembled Geto, like his pale skin and black hair.

“Here you go,” As you thanked the kind woman, she handed you a small card with the name and address of her clinic. You quickly stuffed it into your pants pocket, grateful for the potential help it may offer in the future.

"You know," she said with a playful grin, "if you like him so much you can keep him." She joked, giggling at the face you made. You couldn't help but laugh along with her, knowing she was just teasing you.

"I think I'll pass," you replied, still smiling. "I'd rather just borrow him every once in a while." She rolled her eyes, but her smile never faltered.

The glass door slid open, revealing Satoru and Geto standing on the other side with bottles of beer in their hands. As soon as your husband laid eyes on you and the baby in your arms, his gaze immediately turned to you with a mixture of surprise and concern.

"I'm just kidding Y/N," Shoko said with a laugh, getting up from her seat as the baby started to cry. "Well, that's my cue to give him to his father." She walked over to Satoru and Geto, who were deep in conversation and cracking jokes.

You couldn't help but smile as you heard Satoru's deep and attractive laugh, something you didn't get to hear often. "Looks like I'll have to leave the baby duties to you two," Shoko teased, handing the baby over to Satoru. "But seriously, thank you both for all your help." Satoru and Geto both nodded, Satoru’s face softening as he held the baby in his arms.

"My back is killing me," Shoko groaned, raising her arms above her head as she walked back towards you and Utahime. "I need to relax my muscles," she added, letting out a loud yawn.

"There's a Jacuzzi, you know..." Utahime said with a sly grin, standing up and flipping on the back lights. The entire back area was aluminized, giving it a sleek and futuristic look.

"Wow, this is amazing!" exclaimed Shoko stepping closer to get a better look at the Jacuzzi.

"Right? It's perfect for those cold winter nights," Utahime replied with a playful wink.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment as you looked at the huge jacuzzi on the back deck of the vacation rental.

The bubbles were constantly popping and rising to the surface, making it look so inviting. However, you realized that you had forgotten to pack a bathing suit, and there was nothing remotely close to one in your luggage.

You cursed yourself for not double-checking your packing list and felt frustrated that you wouldn't be able to enjoy the relaxing hot tub.

"Well, I'm going up to get my bathing suit because I definitely need to relax in the jacuzzi," shoko said with a frown.

You politely said your goodbyes and slipped away unnoticed into the cabin. As you entered, the cozy atmosphere of the rustic cabin embraced you, providing a welcome respite from the chilly evening air.

The soft glow of the fireplace and the gentle sound of crackling wood immediately put you at ease. You couldn't help but notice the other guests lost in their own thoughts, some reading by the fire, others playing board games at the kitchen table.

Exhaustion finally caught up to you and you let out a tired yawn, rubbing your eyes as you made your way to your room. The warm and comfortable bed awaited you, promising a peaceful night's rest.

The door opened with a small creek, the wodden floor echoing each step you took. You practically stripped yourself off your clothes. Grabbing one of your cozy night gowns you smoothly slid it on.

As you entered the room, the old wooden door creaked open, the sound echoing through the quiet space. The familiar scent of the room enveloped you, bringing a sense of comfort and relaxation.

With each step, the wooden floorboards groaned under your weight. Finally reaching your closet, you couldn't wait to change into something more comfortable. As you stripped off your clothes, you felt the tension of the day slowly dissipate.

Your hand reached for your favorite night gown, the soft fabric sliding smoothly over your skin as you slipped it on, instantly feeling at ease in your own home.

As you settled into the plush queen bed, you couldn't help but notice how dim the room was with the lights off. It was the perfect ambiance for a good night's sleep, and you were grateful for the extra blankets you packed.

The hotel's blankets were thin and barely provided any warmth, but luckily you came prepared. You closed your eyes and let the softness of the bed and the coziness of the blankets lull you into a peaceful slumber.

Satoru didn’t know if it was the alcohol in his system that made him do this or the fact that he genuinely wanted you.

Before getting drunk, he spent the whole night with Getous baby, rocking and playing with him. As he watched you hold the child, he couldn't help but feel a strange flutter in his stomach. Maybe it was the way your hair fell into place, or the pure joy he saw in your face as you interacted with the baby. He couldn't explain this feeling, but it was undeniable. It was in that moment that he realized he was falling for you, and it scared him.

Despite his dislike for alcohol, he found himself in an inebriated state, stumbling up the stairs to your room. He was usually a responsible and controlled individual, but today was different. He was grateful that his phone had little to no service, freeing him from the constant barrage of messages from Jiyuu.

He felt a sense of relief and freedom from her constant demands for his time and attention. However, deep down, he knew that this temporary escape would only lead to more problems in the long run.

He finally made it to the room, carefully navigating his way in the dark. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he stumbled on nothing but air, making sure not to trip over any obstacles in his path. Once he reached his destination, he quickly took off his shoes and closed the restroom door behind him. As he fumbled for the light switch, he could feel the familiar sting of bright light hitting his eyes. He took a moment to recompose his vision before continuing what he was doing.

As he stood in front of the bathroom sink, he turned on the cold water, the sound of it filling the room. He ran his fingers through the water, feeling its coolness against his skin. Taking a deep breath, he momentarily splashed his face with the water, feeling its refreshing touch. He then leaned in closer to the mirror, studying his reflection and the emotions that played across his face.

"Well fuck, I look like shit," he muttered to himself as he caught a glimpse of his tired reflection in the mirror. He had barely gotten any sleep nowadays, the bags under his eyes a testament to his hectic schedule.

Spending most of his nights either working his ass off or going over to Jiyuu's house and well, fucking her brains out. He couldn't deny that the physical release helped him relax and forget about his stress for a little while, but it was taking a toll on his appearance and overall well-being.

Thats all that seemed to happen in his life. Jiyuu would call him late at night for her needs, never once asking him how he was doing. Everything was rough with her, the sex was always aggressive and the kisses were forceful.

Even their relationship was characterized by constant arguments and tension. Every time he tried to talk to her about his feelings, she would brush him off and turn the conversation back to herself. It was clear that she only cared about her own needs and desires, leaving him feeling used and unfulfilled.

He couldn't believe it. As he walked into the bathroom, he saw his toothbrush already in the cup next to the sink. A wave of annoyance washed over him. "Of course," he scoffed, "the perfect little wife you were had to also pack the miserable husband things." But as he thought about it more, he realized that this small act was just another reminder of how much his wife cared for him.

You always made sure he had everything he needed, even if it was just a toothbrush.

As he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, he couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt wash over him. He knew he had treated you poorly, but in his mind, you were the reason for his strained relationship with Jiyuu. He loved her deeply, and the thought of losing her was unbearable.

Without another thought, he turned off the lights and closed the bathroom door, not caring about the freezing temperatures outside. Stripping off his shirt, he couldn't shake off the feeling that he had made a mistake, but he was too stubborn to admit it.

As he gazed at you, the soft glow of the moon enhanced your features, making your skin look radiant and your hair appear to shimmer. The gentle rise and fall of your chest as you breathed added to your allure, making him wonder how someone could look so effortlessly beautiful even in sleep.

He couldn't help but feel a pull towards you, admiring the peaceful expression on your face and the way your body seemed to fit perfectly into the bed. It was almost as if you were made for this moment, and he couldn't resist the urge to reach out and touch you, feeling the warmth of your skin and the gentle rise and fall of your chest beneath his fingertips.

Despite the late hour, he couldn't tear his eyes away from you, captivated by the tranquil and alluring image you presented.

The moonlight cascaded over your exposed shoulders and collarbone, highlighting the curves and contours of your body. The strap of your nightgown had slipped off one shoulder, revealing more of your smooth, glowing skin. As he climbed into bed with you, he couldn't help but feel a rush of desire and anticipation. You eagerly wrapped your arms around Satoru, pulling him closer as the warmth of his body enveloped you.

He didn’t know why but here he was rock hard at just staring at your face.

He couldnt resist it anymore, slowly he placed his hand on top of your ass messaging the soft muscle.

Maybe it was the alcohol that made him want to fuck you so bad right now, or it was finally him excepting the fact that you were undeniably beautiful.

However, in this moment, his desire for you was too strong. He couldn't resist the temptation any longer. As he gently shook you, he knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't help himself. Satoru was usually calm and collected, never crossing boundaries with women.

Despite his loyalty to Jiyuu, he had been intimate with other partners in the past. But right now, none of that mattered. All he wanted was you.

Yeah they were attractive and good at sex but yet he never found himself waking them up just to put his cock inside of them.

“mmm,” you opened your eyes, your lips pinker than ever. In this moment Satoru couldn’t sworn that look alone made him cum.

"Shit, can I fuck you?" You were startled to say the least, but a part of you couldn't deny that you wanted this. Raising an eyebrow, you couldn't even form a coherent response before you felt Satoru's lips hungrily press against yours. His hands tangled in your hair as he deepened the kiss, sending shivers down your spine.

You couldn't help but moan in response, your body betraying your initial shock. Satoru pulled away, a smirk on his lips as he whispered, "I'll take that as a yes." And in that moment, you could practically feel your knees buckle.

Satoru guided his hands across your body, exploring every inch and leaving a trail of tingling sensations in their wake. As he pulled you into another heated kiss, his lips moved with a fiery passion against yours. His hands trailed down to your lower back, giving a gentle squeeze that sent shivers down your spine.

You couldn't help but moan as he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring every corner of your mouth. His touch was electric, igniting a fire within you that you couldn't resist.

You could feel your panties getting more wet by the second. His strong hands gripping your body.

"Satoru," you gasped as he continued to trail kisses down your neck, his hands roaming over your body.

"I can't get enough of you," he whispered, his voice husky with desire. "I want more," he growled, his lips finding yours again as he deepened the kiss.

"Me too," you moaned, your hands tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer. The two of you were lost in the heat of the moment, unable to resist each other any longer.

As his long fingers trailed down your body, they eventually made their way to your panties. You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with each passing second, the anticipation of what was to come sending shivers down your spine.

He couldn't help but smirk as he saw just how drenched your panties were, a clear indication of how much you wanted him. Without hesitation, he moved the side of your panties and began to circle his thumb around your clit, sending jolts of pleasure through your body.

You couldn't help but arch your back as his cold thumb made contact with your sensitive folds, the sensation only adding to the intense arousal you were feeling.

"You're so wet for me,"Satoru murmured, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he slid two fingers inside of you. Your pussy clenched around them, pleasure coursing through your body.

"Shit Toru.." you moaned, unable to contain yourself as his fingers expertly hit all the right spots. "You have to be quiet," he reminded you, his deep husky voice sending shivers down your spine. His lips found yours, silencing any further noises as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you.

The intensity of his touch and the forbidden nature of the situation only added to your arousal.

Satoru couldn’t deny his attraction towards you, the way you squeezed your eye shut when you were about to cum or the way your eyebrows creased each time he fucked you harder.

"You think I didn't notice you with the baby?" You opened your eyes, struggling to make eye contact with your husband as he continued to finger you.

He pulled his obnoxiously long fingers out of your drenching wet cunt and gave you a wicked smile. "Since you want to pretend to be a mommy so bad, I'll make you one." He unbuckled his pants, his hard cock practically twitching with excitement as he stared down at your pussy.

You couldn't help but feel a little nervous as he positioned himself between your legs. He rubbed his hard long cock on your entrance, biting your lip you moaned as he slowly began to enter you.

"God, you feel so good," he grunted, his hands gripping your hips tightly. "You're gonna be such a hot mommy," he whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine

He began to fuck you, the sound of the bed squeaking and your skin slapping together filled the room. His toned abs flexed every time he entered you, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body. You felt like you were on cloud 9, completely lost in the moment.

His strong hands gripped your waist tightly, his fingers digging into your skin as he thrust into you with a powerful force. Each time his cock filled you, it made you go crazy with ecstasy. You couldn't help but moan and whimper in pleasure as he took you with such intensity.

His dick twitched inside of your pussy, your walls clenching each time he slid in and out of you. "You're so big, Toru," you moaned, your eyes brimming with tears of pleasure. He was so huge, and you loved every inch of him.

His white hair was stuck to his sweaty forehead as he continued to fuck you, his body glistening with sweat. Suddenly, he grabbed one of your legs and swung it over his shoulder, changing the angle and hitting a spot inside of you that made you see stars.

He groaned, making eye contact with you and admiring how beautiful you looked taking in his huge dick. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you, signaling that he was getting close to his release.

"Mmm, babe….your tits are getting so…big," Satoru groaned as he squeezed and massaged your breasts, sending shivers of pleasure through your body. You moaned in response, your hands running through his hair as he trailed wet kisses down your neck.

"I can't wait to see how big they'll get when you're pregnant," he whispered, his hot breath tickling your skin. You arched your back, pressing your body closer to his as he continued to thrust into you with increasing fervor.

"Fuck, Mmm…Satoru," you gasped, the pleasure building inside you.

He chuckled darkly, his hand slipping down to your abdomen. "Just imagine how sexy you'll look with my baby growing inside you," he said, his voice low and husky with desire.

You whimpered as he hit a particularly sensitive spot, your body trembling with pleasure. "Please, Satoru, I need you to cum in me" you begged, your nails digging into his back.

He gave a feral growl in response, his thrusts becoming more urgent as he neared his release. "You're mine, baby," he grunted, his eyes locked on yours. "And I'm gonna make you a mommy." With one final, powerful thrust, he spilled inside you, sending you both over the edge into blissful ecstasy.

His hot semen filled your pussy, your legs twitching before he got off you and layed next to you.

Despite the numerous times you and your husband have had sex, this particular time felt different.

For the first time, there was a real sense of intimacy and connection between the two of you.

ps: had to cut this chapter short but i ended up changing the angsty part for chap 5, gotta give my girl y/n a break for whats about to come…

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01. ACROSS THE UNIVERSE . . . while reminiscing, dazai finds you again.

ft. beast!dazai + f!reader, pm boss!dazai, civilian!reader, dazai is a little bit manipulative, spoilers for beast light novel & manga

SERIES MASTERLIST

dazai knows this coffee shop.

it didn’t matter that he’d never set foot inside the building. it was all burned into his mind: the counters lined with expensive equipment and machines, perfectly washed white mugs next to paper ones with lids, the small tulip dining tables peppered around the floor and circled by wooden chairs, the scent of ground beans and homemade dough, freshly baked cookies and croissants enclosed by glass; most importantly, he remembered the ghost of your face, smiling at him from across the table.

he makes a point for his driver to go past it every day, even if it makes the route to headquarters take a few minutes longer, just to catch a glimpse of the white exterior and the fabric awning ruffling in the wind.

he never dared to go inside, until today.

he feels like an imposter as soon as he steps through the door, even more so when he takes his seat at the same table you would sit at together. the smooth bottom of the chair beneath him felt sacred. it’s the one by the window, and he can recall the soft expression on your face as you watched the people walking past in the afternoon, your knowing smile as you teased him about any dogs that trotted by. in the evening, you sought it out after a hard day’s work, tugging him with you so you could admire the way the sun’s dying rays coated his features in dripping gold.

he could see why you found such a place so comforting, the atmosphere nothing but warm and inviting. he didn’t feel like he belonged, destined to dwell in the shadows of the city.

the coffee tastes the same as he remembered, pleasantly fragrant as he brings the mug up to his lips and smooth against his throat as he swallows it down. the pastry he can still recall wiping off your cheek is plated in front of him, barely touched. it isn’t nearly as sweet without you smiling across from him, intertwined ankles swinging beneath the table, the flavor of vanilla glaze on his tongue as he kisses away the crumbs on the corner of your mouth.

he takes another sip, licking the remnants of frothed milk off his lips. his one visible eye glances to the door when he hears the tinny jingle of a bell as it opens. his mug nearly slips from his hand, tiny curved handle squeezed between his fingers desperately when he realizes who’s arrived.

it’s you.

his fantasy of you was nothing compared to how you truly looked. you’re the kind of gorgeous that steals the air from his lungs and makes it impossible not to stare. it’s in the way your hair falls down your back, his nails digging into his palm as he imagines how the strands would feel between his fingers. the smooth curve of your neck, his mouth watering as he imagines the feeling of your fluttering pulse against his lips. the cute puff of your cheeks as you politely smile at the barista welcoming you inside.

he’d only seen you in haunting memories, the lingering image of your face in his mind when he wakes up and feels for a body that isn’t actually there. he spends his time yearning for someone who he’d never had, or even known, yet here you are, within his reach.

this wasn’t manifestation; he knew that you’d be here, that’s why he came inside, after all. seeing you with his own eyes should’ve been enough to satisfy him, as if he didn’t already know everything about you, inside and out.

his gaze follows your figure as you walk to the counter when a dark something catches in the corner of his eye. it feels almost painful to look away from you, but he’s so grateful he does because that’s when he sees it: your wallet, lying pitifully on the tiled floor, right next to him. he thinks this must be some kind of a glitch, an error. 

his eyes flicker back to you. seeing you may have been enough for anyone else, but he’s always been a greedy man.

the trap practically sets itself. he extends his leg, discreetly sliding your wallet over to his side with the sole of his shoe. he bends down and picks it up, safely placing it in his coat pocket, eyes never leaving you.

“oh no,” your lips curl into the prettiest pout, hand deep in your bag as you rustle through it. his legs are already carrying him towards you. “i must’ve left my wallet at home. i swore i had it. i’m so sorry, i’ll just come back later andー”

“excuse me,” when you turn to look at him, it’s like everything has fallen into place. your eyes are even prettier than he remembered, wide and blinking, eyeing his bandages curiously. he smiles, a big, genuine one that curls without his permission. “if it’s alright, i’ll cover it.”

he pulls a sleek, black credit card out, holding it between two fingers as the barista takes it silently. he doesn’t even spare her a glance, completely enamored by the girl in front of him.

it’s like the walls of the cafe are made of paper, crumbling and peeling away, the mindless chatter of the other customers fading into static. it’s just you and him, nothing else exists. how long has he waited for this moment? gathering bits and pieces of your life into a mosaic of knowledge to ensure your safety, all while he spent his days existing within the black void of loneliness that covered him like a sheet he’d pulled over his head, it was all to find his way back to you. it isn’t until the barista clears her throat, holding the card back out for him to take, that he comes back down to earth.

“thank you,” you smile at him, and his heart stalls in his chest. “i don’t know how i would’ve gotten through my day without my coffee.”

he hums. “i feel the same about something a little stronger.”

you giggle, and his face lights up in pride. he steps the slightest bit closer, smiling hopefully.

“it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“it has?” you tilt your head, eyes scanning over his face. “i don’t remember meeting you before. i’m sorry.”

“my mistake, you’re right,” he presses his lips together, smile turning bitter. “of course you’re right. we haven’t met before. my name is dazai.”

he frowns as you’re interrupted by the barista calling your name. he watches the way your fingers curl around your cup delicately, trying not to burn your hand. the realization that your conversation is already about to end makes panic settle in his stomach, unfamiliar and heavy beneath his ribs.

you’re searching around the café aimlessly now; nearly every table is occupied by another patron. he pulls the seat from his own table out, offering you the one across from him, just like he remembered. he looks at you expectantly, tilting his head.

“are you sure?” you run your finger around the rim of your mug, looking down at your drink shyly. “i don’t want to bother you.”

“i insist,” he tries to smile genuinely, but he feels the way his lips quiver at the thought of losing you when you’re so close to him. “i’d love to have the company of a pretty lady.”

he releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when you sit down. his knuckles brush against your back as he pushes you in until your waist is level with the edge of the table. this close, he can smell the warm undertones of your perfume, and suddenly, he recalls the ghost of your fingers brushing his hair away, kissing his skin. it stirs something in his stomach akin to homesickness.

“that’s my favorite, too,” you nod to the pastry, still abandoned on the table.

“you can have some if you’d like,” he slides the plate towards you. he sits back in his seat, crossing his legs. he’s careful not to bump his knees on the underside of the table.

you take a small bite, out of politeness, he assumes. he regrets that he can’t feed it to you himself.

“do you come here often?” you ask, mug halfway to your lips. he watches as your lip gloss leaves a stain on the edge, and feels envy curl like thorned vines in his stomach.

“no,” he folds his hands together beneath his chin. “this is my first time.”

“it’s my favorite café,” you sigh dreamily, turning your head and looking out the window. “it’s nice, right? i love the view.”

you look ethereal with the morning sun peeking through panes, emitting an angelic glow around your profile. spots of light project onto your skin, and it catches on your eyes, saturating the color of your pupils. “me too.”

it’s quiet, the kind of natural lull in a conversation that would happen between two strangers, and you’re nearly done with your coffee. he reaches into his coat, fingers wrapping around the smooth fabric of your wallet as he extracts it from his pocket. “i have something for you.”

“my wallet!” he waits for you to grow angry, but all you do is smile, eyes glistening with gratitude. “buying my coffee for me and finding this…you must be my guardian angel today.”

he blinks. his mouth goes dry, but he forces his words out anyway. “do i really look like such a nice person?”

“yes,” you answer it like it’s obvious, and for the second time that day, he feels his heart stall in his chest. “i can’t thank you enough. is there anything i can do? without you, i would’ve been miserable all day.”

“that’s…” exactly what he wanted. “not necessary.”

“please?” you pout. “at least let me repay you for the coffee.”

he has the memory of big bouquets, sugarcoated words, and flustered giggles, but looking at you face to face, all of the apparent suaveness he’d once possessed is gone.

“if you insist,” his smile wobbles. “would it be too forward of me to ask such a pretty girl out to dinner?”

BSD MASTERLIST

taglist . . . @avocate-assia-dazai @annoyingpainterprincess @kentopedia @walking-simp @anqelically @seimpathyopera @pinky-99 @s1eepybunny @little-miss-chaoss @h4wkz @auraxins @chososbbg @pussydrunkfyodor @getoso @ruanais @osaemu @liliavalentine @cyndaquels @doonifox @its-vante @amnda-ft-fyodor @x-whyareyoureadingthis-x

the dazai cycle

template/original here:

stuff me full ! — o. dazai

synopsis: porn w/o a plot bro …

cw: fem reader, clit rubbing (?), fingering, begging, piv, rough pace, crying, biting / marking (hickies), praise, mention of good girl idk man, lmk if i missed anything

”’samu, ‘s too much !” you gasped out, your panties soaked as dazai’s digits slowly circled over it, his hands cold. you had a hand covering your mouth, not wanting to disturb the neighbors with the thin walls that separated everyone. dazai’s eyes were sharp, his gaze fixated on you and the way you flinch and shudder with every slight move he makes.

“what’s wrong bella ? can’t handle me anymore ? want me to stop ?” with the two fingers he had, he took one away, making you teary eyed as he kisses your jaw ever so lightly.

“no ..! please, osamu, please !” you hiccuped out, bucking your hips slightly and whimpering, toes curled as dazai laughs at the sight. his hands are soaked and your panties are wet with your slick. your boyfriend takes his hand away from your aching pussy and hooks his fingers on your underwear straps, teasing you even farther.

“c’mon, love, tell me what you want, or else i’ll never know ~”

“you … you’re cock, please ..” face flustered red, you mumbled out the words, feeling the fabric on your waist being slipped off without another word. your wet cunt was exposed to the eyes of a demon, ever so desperate for your lover to take you whole. dazai rubs his fingers on your clit a few more times before slipping them in into your sloppy wet hole, making you arch your back as his fingers curl inside of you.

“darl’, you looks so good, but we can’t go without a little teasing, right ? look at how wet you are, and i didn’t even do anything.” lips practically drooling, dazai places hungry kisses on your lips, your moans being muffled out onto his mouth. feeling his finger slip away a minute or so later, you heard the shuffling noise of clothes, presumably dazai’s pants. lining himself up, dazai ravels at the sight of your helpless body, begging to be used by him.

“god, you’re adorable ..!” with that, he shoves his whole length into you, making you yelp and moan out, back arched and arms traveling up to osamus hair. with your tits bouncing at the fast pace he has set, you roll your eyes to the back of your head, making you unable to think or process anything, white stars appearing in your vision.

“a- ahh, look at them bounce, ‘nd all just f’me ..” dazai leans down to give the middle of your chest a kiss, leaving small marks that makes you grip onto his hair tighter. his light touch sent shivers up your spine as he licks the bud of your nipple ever so gently, his hands all over you with his duck twitching inside.

“‘samu !! too fast, gahh ~ !!” going in and out of your cunt, dazai moans into your ear, knowing damn well that would turn you on in more ways. with his hands slowly crawling down towards your hips, he kisses you harder, both of your breathing becoming ragged and heavy. your walls tighten even more around his dick as you moan into his lips, bucking your hips as you feel your wetness drip down from your cunt and to the bed, already feeling so full with him inside you, all deep and cozy. his fingers okay with the bud of your clit again, making your toes curl and back arch even more off the bed, soaking his fingers even more than before.

“‘m so close, ya’know that ? you feel so good, your pussy feels sooo gooood around me. such a good girl, aren’t ‘cha— hahh ..~”

hips becoming sloppy, indicating he really was close. leaning down towards your ear, he ignores your pants and desperate moans, tucking hair strands behind your ear before moaning into them, his voice shaky and out of breath.

“please, let me finish inside … ‘m gonna stuff you full — shiiit ~~!“

you beg for him to stuff you with his cum, your body feeling close to its final limit. with a few more rough, unforgiving thrusts, dazai’s moans into your ear, a moan you would only hear in porn videos, as he fills you up with his hot seed, his thrusts stopped and dick inside of you. you moan and squirt all over his lower abdomen, the juices getting mixed with his as dazai licks his lips, looking down at your cum stuffed cunt. he moves his hips again, not giving you time for a breather and moving relentlessly again, making you moan out ever so loudly as he stuffs his cum back into your desperate hole.

“not begging me to stop this time ? fuckk, you feel sooo goood ~~!! wanna make sure none of my cum drips out, ‘kay ?”

won't you spare me another year ?

synopsis : you want to be the first person to wish your katsuki a happy birthday every year <3

an. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BOYFRIEND!!

cw. nothing, pure fluff!!! also fem reader!

"5..4...3...2...1...aaaand—happy birthday, katsuki !!"

katsuki groans sleepily as your arms tighten around him. "you're fucking insane. it's midnight."

"it's your birthday !" you defend quietly, pouting up at him. he looks down at you and chuckles.

"ya could've just let me sleep and told me that shit in the morning, would've still been m'birthday." he yawns, wiping his eyes. you shoot up to press a kiss to his cheek, leaning into his space more to kiss him all over while he pretends to try and push you off when you roll on top of him. you both ignore how he immediately goes to squeezing your hips when you settle on top.

"i could've, but then there would've been a chance i slept in too long and then i wouldn't have been the first one to wish you happy birthday."

"so my birthday's a competition now ?"

"yup. and i plan to be first every year." you giggle, he rolls his eyes but can't hide the smile growing on his face.

"clingy brat.." he mumbles, he kisses you back anyways when your lips reach his.

"you love me." you counter.

"mm, whatever." he waves off, grabbing the back of your head to bring your lips back to his. you squeal as he tries to deepen the kiss. "you're being greedy." you warn, lips smushed against his.

"s'my birthday, means i get what i wan’, right ? and since you're gonna keep me awake, could at the very least gimme a proper damn kiss." he says between kisses, it makes you laugh against his mouth and he smiles. when you pull away, you lean in to press a long, lasting kiss on the scar right below his eye. you can feel the way the muscles in his face drop and his arms tighten around you in surprise.

"happy birthday, katsuki. i'm glad i can spend another year with you." you whisper earnestly, looking down at him like he'd hung up the moon and the stars for you. unfortunately, it seems that was too much sincerity for your poor boyfriend. he squints, his massive palms enveloping your face to squeeze your cheeks.

"y-yeah, yeah. quit bein' sappy..." he huffs. you feel his thumb run against your bottom lip when he glances up at you, ears tinted pink as he quietly whispers out a "thanks...".

you don't need to say anymore, smiling as you lay on his chest. you hum "what do you wanna do for your birthday ?"

"stay in and fuckin' sleep." is his simple response, you can't help but snort.

"and nothing else ?" you look up at him.

he looks down at you "sounds like you got something you're hiding from me." he asks, suspiciously raising a brow.

you scoff, looking away "pffff, me ? no way..."you lie, your voice going airy.

you’re being grabbed by your cheeks in an instant and katsuki’s not deterred by your whining "you're a shit liar."

"i plead the fifth."

"plead my ass." katsuki scoffs, squishing your cheeks in his palm. "i hate being out of the loop on shit, you know that."

"would it kill you to not be a killjoy ? where's your whimsy ? your child's soul ?" you whine.

"whatever the fuck that means." katsuki snarks. you laugh again, and he rolls his eyes. "as long as whatever you got planned doesn't take up my whole damn day, then do what you want."

now it's your turn to roll your eyes "no need to worry, i won't be interfering with your plans to sleep in."

"our plans. you're not going anywhere." your boyfriend corrects.

"i have no say in it, do i ?" you tease.

he pokes your cheek. "nope. s'my birthday." he responds simply.

you laugh "you're using that as some sort of cheat code now ?"

when your laughter dies down he's still looking down at you. eyes, droopy with sleep sure, but with something soft inside of them. they glow illuminated by the light of the moon outside.

"what ?"

"nuffin." he sighs, still just looking down at you. his fingers run across your face, your cheeks and eyebrows and nose so softly, so unlike him (he of course has to take the opportunity to squeeze your nose, but you decide not to ruin the moment).

"yeah, right. c'mon what is it?" you urge. katsuki scoffs "so damn persistent." he reprimands. he shushes you when you remind him that "that's why you like me so much!"

"m'just..thinkin'."

"about..?" you wiggle higher up until you can kiss his chin. he sighs again , smiling to himself.

"about...this really annoying girl."

you glare up at him, he smirks. "oh yeah ?" you deadpan.

"oh, yeah. a real pain in the ass. always talkin' back to me and bothering me. planning surprises and other stupid things for my birthday every year. " he taunts.

you roll your eyes again "she sounds like a fun time. sounds to me like you just don't know how to have any fun." you grouch. katsuki laughs, of course he does, dickhead.

"yeah, well. as annoying as she is...she is a pretty damn fun time." he admits softly "real damn sweet too...probably too sweet for me.."

you look up at him in surprise. he squeezes your nose to avoid you and you swipe at his hand. he continues talking while you're distracted. "but i'm glad she chose to be with an asshole like me, and..." he leans down to press a peck between your brows.

"..and there's nothing else i'd like more for my birthday then to spend it with her again next year. even if we do lame, boring shit like staying in or doing whatever."

you feel your heart squeeze almost painfully tight. your cheeks pull up so hard you feel your jaw hurt, but you're so unbearably happy.

so unbearably happy you get to spend another year of his life with him.

you lean in to kiss him. "well, i don't know about her surprises, but mine's gonna blow your socks off. s'gonna make you cry like you did last year."

he scoffs, planting another kiss to your lips. "i didn't cry, dickwad. that's your mind making shit up." he denies.

"yeah, okay" you laugh, and with one final kiss you pull back to look at your love, with all the love you had for him. "happy birthday, katsuki."

and he smiles back, softly, and only reserved for moments like this with you.

yeah, it sure was. happy fuckin' birthday to him.

it's been decades since you've last seen dazai; your lover & your maker. now that you're finally happy, he's haunting you again with a thousand buried memories.

overall contents. fem!reader, nsfw minors dni, exes to lover, gothic romance, blood drinking, vampire!reader, vampire!dazai, smut, cheating reader, complicated relationships, blood, gore, jealousy, manipulation, religious symbolism, betrayal, reunions — currently at 21k words

PART III ♰ MASTERLIST

Night after night, you returned to the bar to indulge in the taste of Dazai, the single ambrosia from Heaven that your ill-forgotten God had bestowed upon the earth. How lucky you were, you believed, to be the sole being that he would share himself with completely; no one else would know such bliss.

The conversation started out as little, but as the days and nights continued, you found yourself seeping into his presence, remembering just how easy it was and would always be. Osamu was your sole addiction, and like any weak person would, you continued to return to your vice.

Each moment you spent with him was like a beginning and end. A longing for a time that you could never return to and a fresh start all at once. Unlike the man from your old memories, he never turned to smirk at the women that were leering at him, brown irises focused only on the small quip of your lips as he drew an exhale of a laugh from you.

His humor was dry, and Dazai teased you often, but he wasn’t unkind—he wasn’t the evil monster that you remembered him being, even in the moments that you loved him with every ounce of your body and soul.

For the first time in his life, he opened up to you, told you things that he had never told anyone before. His life had been a mystery to you for decades; he’d kept it sheltered inside of him, a vulnerability that he would never let any enemy capitalize on. Now, though, he trusted you, perhaps in a way that he didn’t think he could until you’d spent time apart.

If you hadn’t turned on him in his darkest moments, sought to end him in a way that he’d always claimed to want, then certainly, at least a fraction of your love was true.

Despite all of that, though, you kept everything about your relationship transactional. You met up with him, gave him an ear and shared some of your own trials from the times you were apart. At the end of it all, you considered him nothing more than the man you once loved, the one that had turned you when you’d been at the lowest point of your life.

The relationship you shared could never be explained by a singular word. It was years of tragedy and misery and a love so deep that it consumed you from the inside out until it destroyed you.

That love would always be there. You’d always love him, but you were resolved to letting him go. This time, you could close this chapter of your life, could end things with Dazai on a note that didn’t leave a bitter taste in your mouth. You could become a person outside of him, could love Atsushi and learn what your new immortal life would be like with a man that had a silver heart, instead of one encased in iron.

Every night, when you left the bar and crawled back into bed with Atsushi, that’s what you reminded yourself of. If he ever grew suspicious of your activity, he never made note of it, and he stopped mentioning the deaths that had increased tenfold, the ones that were bleeding him dry and exhausting him to the point of collapse.

When three weeks had passed, and things had continued in the same vein, Atsushi reached his breaking point. His eyes were red, dark circles around them, his cheeks hollow. Somehow, you hadn’t noticed how much weight he’d lost until then, how pale his skin had become.

Atsushi had waited up for you, his knees curled up in his chest as he sat against the headboard. There was something vacant about his eyes, the life that lingered there had nearly disappeared.

Guilt clawed its way up your body until it tasted like nausea, and you wanted to vomit from the horrid emotion that took control. In every possible way, you’d neglected the man that was supposed to be the love of your life, turned a blind eye to spend time with the vampire that had once broken you so completely. It was a sickening twist of fate, and you had no idea how to even begin apologizing.

“Atsushi,” you said, the syllables tumbling out of your dry lips.

Though, you didn’t get far with whatever miserable statement you were attempting to make. Atsushi sighed, and looked up at the ceiling, tipping his head back as he rang his fingers together. “They’re sending me away for a week. Starting tomorrow.”

It took you a moment to process his words. You stared back at him, before rushing towards the bed, not bothering to kick off your shoes. “What?” you asked, aghast. “For more work? Atsushi, look at you. Some days, you can hardly stand.”

He shook his head, smiling softly as you came into his orbit. Atsushi’s hands were soft on your thigh, even though you couldn’t feel a thing under the thick layers of your dress. His purple eyes were full of an intense love, but so different than the predatory, desperate affection that Dazai had always shared.

You stiffened under his palm, hating that Dazai even crossed your mind. Atsushi retracted his hand, eyebrows narrowing together.

“It’s not for more work,” he said, yawning, despite himself. “They want me to take a break. Get out of the city and away from the murders for a while.” Atsushi laughed, though it was bitter and self-deprecating. “I don’t blame them. I’m a detective, and I can’t handle—”

“Atsushi, they’re gruesome. They’re vile. That doesn’t make you weak, that means you’re caring.” You deflated, crawling over to him to hold his cheek gently. “Any normal person would vomit at the sight of that. You shouldn’t be criticizing yourself for something like that.”

His frown deepened, but he said nothing.

“Can I come too?” you asked, even though you knew it would be difficult. There wasn’t enough time to plan, enough time to figure out an alternative to Dazai’s blood while you were in proximity to Atsushi.

Something that, you began to realize, would quickly become an issue. As long as Atsushi was human, you would always run the risk of hurting him.

Atsushi shook his head, finally, lacing his fingers in with yours against his cheek. “I think it’s best if I go alone. I need some time to process everything, and I think I’ll rest more this way.”

“But I don’t want you to be alone with all those horrible thoughts,” you frowned. “You’ll ruminate on them, and I don’t want you to come back feeling even worse than before.”

“I’ll be fine,” he promised. “I love you, but I want to worry about this on my own. Can you understand that?”

You were silent, a part of you secretly relieved, but evenly concerned. It seemed like the first step Atsushi might take in pushing you away, even if you had been the one to topple the first domino.

“Alright,” you finally said, standing once again to change into your night clothes. “Come back immediately if you don’t think you’re okay. Can you promise me that, at least?”

Atsushi nodded.

He left the next day.

You arrived at the bar earlier than Dazai, this time, your usual barstools occupied by two old men smoking new cigars. Instead, you sat at the table by the piano, with the woman that had long since learned Dazai wasn’t interested.

The bartender made you a drink you hadn’t asked for, finally taking his shot in the dark now that Dazai wasn’t around. Although you took it, you politely refused conversation, staring ahead at the wall instead, in the hopes that your once lifelong companion would hurry.

It had been two days since Atsushi had gone away, and you’d avoided Dazai in the meantime. An unwise decision, considering that your hunger had only increased tenfold in the hours that you were holed up in your apartment. There was nothing to occupy you there but a collection of books you’d already read and a piano that Atsushi hadn’t tuned in ages.

You tapped your fingers against the table impatiently. The door chimed again. This time, when you looked up, a pair of dark eyes were staring back, feet already dragging him across the room to greet you.

Dazai pulled out the chair, raising his eyebrows at your sour expression. “I take it something’s wrong?”

“Atsushi left,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest as you leaned back in the chair. “He’s been overworking himself, trying to figure out who this mass murderer is that’s roaming the streets. I have to sit there with a pretty smile and pretend I have no idea what’s happening at all.”

“You don’t have to. You could tell him everything, turn me over to him and spill every secret I’ve ever told you to the vampire hunters that will certainly come after me.” Dazai smiled lazily, leaning over the table. “You could do that. Why don’t you?”

You made a face at him. As if it wasn’t obvious that if you hadn’t turned him over already, then you wouldn’t do it now. Perhaps it was for the sake of all the good memories that you’d shared over the century. Perhaps it was only the fact that his blood had turned you into something immortal, and that part of your soul would never let you turn him over.

It didn’t really matter. That just wasn’t an option.

“You promised you’d cover your tracks better,” you said, ignoring his previous question to lean further over the table. “You’ve killed more people than live in my neighborhood, all in the span of a month. How can you sit there and pretend like—” you stopped, hushing as someone from two tables over began to listen in. “Osamu…”

“I’ve hidden my tracks better than you realize. I have centuries of experience, and I don’t need you to worry about that.” He shook his head, reaching for you across the table.

For once, you let him. Dazai gave a small smile as he took your hand, caressing the crease between your thumb and index finger.

“I can’t keep up with your increasing appetite on my usual diet,” he said, squeezing your palm once more before releasing it. “You cannot continue living with this human on a diet of animal blood, and I cannot continue feeding you without feeding off twice as many people.” He pinned you with his steely gaze, and, against every rational part of your being, you pressed your thighs together, shifting uncomfortably.

“You don’t have to drain them, Osamu. Let them live.”

He laughed, leaning away from you. “Well, I certainly haven’t been killing everyone, sweetheart. Just enough to keep your precious little pet busy. That way, he’ll never notice that his lovely fiancé is sneaking off to see her much more charming lover.”

You clenched your jaw, digging your nails so sharply into your thighs that blood dribbled down your legs. None of that should’ve come as a shock to you. That Dazai would plan something so elaborate, that he would lure you away from Atsushi; it was exactly the kind of plot that he would weave.

“You’re such a fool,” you spat, shaking your head as you turned away to face the door once more. It chimed as people came in and out, leaving the bar only by stumbling over their feet. It was too early; much too early for anyone to be such a mess. “I’m never going to love you again, Osamu. You lie, and you lie, and you lie.”

Dazai’s eyes flashed. “Is that the case?” He peered into every crevice of your face, into your soul, into the truths of your heart that were stripped bare by understanding. “From where I’m sitting, you’re the liar. You don’t tell the human where you’re going, and you pretend that you don’t have to tear yourself away from me every time you have a taste of my blood.”

He seemed far too proud of himself for you to be anything but irritated.

“We aren’t friends, Osamu. This is nothing more than a way for me to survive. Don’t pretend to know otherwise.”

“No, we never really have been friends, have we?” he laughed. “Yet, I never ran out of reasons to love you. Even more, I find something about you that I adore, something that I didn’t already know.”

You set your jaw, finally turning back to him. There was an openness to his features, a small smile that sent you whirling.

Every time he reminded you of his pure adoration, you tripped back over yourself, stumbling into a person that you haven’t been in half a century, one that lost all her senses when it came to an ancient vampire with those burning eyes.

“You don’t mean anything to me,” you said, and though Dazai was grinning at you, knowing too well that you were lying, you kept your voice steady. “We’ve both agreed to keep this relationship as it is, so don’t push your luck.”

“If that’s the case, then come back to my hotel with me,” he whispered, almost like a command, like he could twist your mind the same way that he could a human’s. “You can have as much as you want without worrying that someone will walk around the corner.”

“No,” you shook your head fiercely, not allowing your mind to wander into that territory. You thought of all the times you’d had Dazai laid out on your bed, ripping into his throat as he came inside of you. Heat rose to your cheeks, and you dug your fingers harder into your thigh. “It doesn’t matter if anyone sees, you and I both know that you can just erase their memories.”

He huffed. “But it’s so much more enjoyable in private, isn’t it?”

“No.”

He drew your name out on his lips, teasing and lighthearted. You denied one more time, clenching your jaw.

Dazai was silent. You’d thought that you’d won, that you could get your way with him once and for all. You made your way to your feet, ready to walk out in the alley and launch yourself at him. Perhaps this time, you would finally bleed him dry. Then, he’d be weak enough for you to kill, and you’d never have to put up with him again.

Though, none of that happened. Dazai’s expression shifted at the drop of a pin, turning into one of flat stoicism. His tone was no longer playful, and it instead became deep and serious, one that he saved for so few occasions because he knew what it did to you.

“Sit back down.”

You glared, feeling the annoyance twist into something different. “And if I don’t?”

“You’ll do what I say, or you won’t get any of my blood, sweetheart.” Though you nearly snapped the chair at the sound of his deepened voice, you followed his directions. Something had been set aflame deep within you, and he was a cheating bastard, cruel and conniving and everything that you’d once held dear. “Good girl,” he said in a whisper that only your vampiric hearing could translate.

You stared at him, too afraid that if you moved a muscle, you would lose every ounce of your composure.

His eyes raked over you, eyelashes fluttering over his cheekbones before settling on your flushed cheeks, the way you shifted uncomfortably, repeating Atsushi’s name over in your head, even though it started to sound suspiciously like Osamu.

“You’ll come back with me now, won’t you?”

Dazai watched for a moment longer as you squirmed under his steely gaze, and then his lips broke into a smile, like he’d just won a game and you were his prize for the taking.

“Nothing more,” you said, your words far too weak and wispy to come from your own throat. “I want your blood and nothing more.”

He raised an eyebrow, leaning over the table two get close to your ear. “Don’t lie to me. I can smell how wet you’re getting.”

You flew out of the chair, taking two steps backward before you crashed into the waitress, who dropped the tray of drinks all over the floor, cursing at you as the glasses shattered.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, flustered as you remembered the last time something like that had happened, and it all seemed too familiar that you wondered if you had already died and this was your own brand of personal hell.

Resisting Dazai seemed more of a feat than braving the seven circles.

“I’m sorry,” you said again, and you backed up once more, crashing into Dazai’s chest, the smell of him all so overwhelming that you were salivating, desperate. He held you tightly to him, snaking a possessive arm around your waist.

“I’m sorry about my darling wife. She’s had a very stressful week.”

Something about that word made you weak in the knees, and you were only held up by Dazai’s strong embrace, forced to let his strength carry you. For decades, you’d lived in marriage, and he’d never referred to you as such. Never had Atsushi muttered the word so lyrically, had never drawn it out on his tongue in a way that made you desperate for him.

It was special when it came from Dazai. You could only melt from it.

The woman said nothing as Dazai dragged you away, forced you to gain control of yourself before you were out of the bar. Just a few steps and you would be outside, free to take what you wanted, the drink of ambrosia just inches from your lips.

“Let me, ‘samu,” you said, your voice small as soon as you reached the cool, evening air. “I’m so hungry.”

Though, he wouldn’t let you indulge, kept your lips from his vein as he smiled, brushing your hair away from your face. “Not yet, sweetheart. Be patient.”

You were buzzing, vibrating under your skin with anticipation, and if it wasn’t for Dazai’s strong grip on your arm, you would’ve lunged after one of the passersby. The scent of him so near to you drove you to the brink of insanity. Yet, he refused to let you so much as kiss his dark vein, keeping you at a distance as he waited for a carriage.

Neither of you spoke until you got to his hotel, one of the finest in the city, paid for by the centuries of wealth he had accumulated.

Dazai greeted those who walked out the door like they were old friends, a sideways smile at the man who stood behind the desk. They let him pass with nothing more than cheerful grins, already adoring the beautiful vampire with the sensual air that never seemed to leave him.

“Almost there, my darling,” he whispered under his breath, hushed and sultry. “Then, I promise you can take as much as you want.”

You ached, clutching onto his arm, your lust, hunger, and undying love all hitting you at once. It was like you were drowning in it, swallowed whole by the man that you wanted so deeply, so passionately. You needed him like a mortal needed air, even if you refused to let yourself accept it. 

Dazai shut the door, locked it. You barely had time to register your surroundings, the finest linens and carpets that were draped across the room.

Instead, all you could stare at were his lips—the perfect shape of them, the perfect curve. How soft they appeared in the dark light of the evening, and how much you wanted to kiss them.

One time.

That would be all. It would be enough to get him out of your system, and then you’d never have to see him again.

With a speed that would have been imperceptible to a human, Dazai was upon you, his hands on your jaw tightly as he backed you into a wall, kissing you with every ounce of passion within him. His nails drew blood from your cheeks, seeping between the cracks in his fingers as you kissed him so hard that his lips bruised.

You weren’t sure what to do with your hands, so you touched him all over, his jaw, his shoulders, the lean expanse of his chest. He pressed himself closer, and you could feel him straining against his pants, the bulge so prominent that it had only been hidden by his coat before.

“Do you understand what you do to me? How badly I crave you?” He was kissing you over and over, across your jaw, down your neck, licking a long stripe from your ear to your collarbone before nuzzling his nose just below your ear. “Let me,” he said, digging his nails into your hips as he held you against the wall. “Fuck. I need to taste you.”

“No,” you said, but it was weak, and you were slowly falling apart under him. “No, Osamu.”

“I’ve stopped myself so many times.” He pressed open-mouthed kisses against your neck, and you could feel his fangs slip out, so smooth and white. “The blood of a fallen angel, stripped of her grace by the man she loves so dearly. Such a beautiful resolution to this show you’re putting on.”

You were hot from the tips of your toes all the way to your forehead, and though Dazai didn’t bite you, you were too close to giving in, to letting him take from every part of you.

Before he could act on his urges, you gripped his hair, yanked him away from your neck and sank your teeth into his own vein instead.

Dazai let out a moan as his blood flooded into your mouth, his fingers tracing your spine. As you drank, your grip on Dazai slackened, before you were falling, losing yourself in him.

You were so dazed from the blood, you weren’t sure when you moved, when he had gotten you across the room into his lap. He set you on his thigh, his hands guiding your hips along the lean muscles there, dragging your clit along the ridges of his slacks.

“‘samu,” you gasped into his mouth, aching with need and want and everything in between. His pupils had dilated, eyes darkening with mischief as he bumped his leg against you once more, sending a jolt through you that had you tearing at his skin, spilling more blood into your mouth. “I shouldn’t want you.” Your breath caught. “I hate you.”

“I love you.” He said just as quickly, and smiled, petting your hair as you latched onto his vein, guiding your hips so you were riding his thigh. The friction was just enough for you to need more, for your arousal to seep through your panties, the cloth already wet. “Take what you need from me. Everything.”

You tore yourself away from his throat and kissed him, letting him taste his own blood as you pressed one of his hands to your breast.

His eyes flashed, and he cupped the outside of your dress, tearing right down the middle of the garment to expose your chest. Dazai kissed down your clavicle, swirling his tongue around the place where your heart no longer beat, before sucking your nipple into his mouth.

You moaned, throwing your head back while Dazai kissed you, curling his tongue in a practiced manner—he’d always known you from the inside out.

“Such beautiful noises,” he muttered, the words from his lips vibrating against your breast. “It makes me sick to know that another man has heard you like this. That someone can think their devotion to you is even a fraction of everything I’ve ever felt about you.”

Tears sprung to your eyes, bloody and red as Dazai rocked you against his thigh, pressed your aching cunt into his strong muscle. “Your love for me is unhealthy. It’s twisted.”

“I may not love you in the way that you want, but to the very deepest part of your soul, you know that I love you the way you need.” Dazai’s eyes were blown wide with lust, the irises a shade so dark they were nearly black. He looked every bit the true predator that he was, the absolute devil that had been put on this earth to destroy.

You threaded your fingers through his hair as Dazai kissed between your breasts, right below your neck, worshiping every bit of your body. “You tear me to pieces, Osamu.”

“Doesn’t matter. Every last piece of you belongs to me,” he said, bouncing his thigh just enough that you were gasping, tearing his skin as your clit caught on the fabric between you.

You were close, so close to your release, and you’d nearly forgotten how easily Dazai could make a mess of you.

“Your little human pet doesn’t take care of you, does he?” Dazai asked, cupping the soft skin of your breast, squeezing delicately before flicking the nipple with his thumb. “Didn’t even get to put my mouth on that pretty pussy and you’ve already ruined my pants.”

You flushed, hot as you sped the strokes of your hip, your grip so tight that your nails had claimed a home in Dazai’s bicep. The breaths that left your lips were so ragged it was almost shameful, that so little had happened, and you were already his for the taking.

“Osamu,” you said, the word barely a sound at all. “Osamu.”

“I know.” He shifted his head to reveal the bite mark that hadn’t quite healed, the vein that you hadn’t quite finished drinking from. “You need to cum so bad, don’t you, sweetheart? Haven’t been fucked properly since you left me.” Dazai smiled, dropping your head to his neck so you could smell his sweet aroma once more, could indulge in the taste of him. “My beautiful girl sleeps in another man’s bed every night, and he can’t even take care of her.”

You contemplated arguing, telling him that it wasn’t true, that Atsushi had always pleased you, had always made sure that your own pleasure came before his. But it was nothing compared to Dazai, nothing compared to the bright lights that flashed behind your eyes as he touched you, the gates of heaven opening up for two monsters that didn’t deserve something so holy.

“I’m so close,” you said, your teeth just barely breaking his skin. “Please, Osamu.”

“You don’t know how badly I want you right now. How much I missed sinking into you, feeling you so tight around me.” Dazai gripped your own thighs harder, his voice raspy and hoarse. “I promised you I wouldn’t kill him, but, god, I want to.”

You felt the sharp snap of something within you, and you bit down hard on Dazai’s neck, his sweet blood too much when it was mixed with the orgasm that hit you all at once. There was a fog in your mind, nothing there besides his name, his voice, his scent, and you started to wonder why you’d ever wanted anyone but him.

How much you wanted to love him, how badly you craved to indulge in it had, really, never been the question. You’d always been painfully in love with Osamu Dazai, hadn’t you? — and you were certain it had started the moment you met him, decades ago.

Tears fell down your lashes, and Dazai brushed them away, pulled you tight in his arms as you finally unlatch from his skin. All over, you buzzed from the feeling that only his blood could make you feel.

Dazai held you so close, shielding you from something you couldn’t discern, and you felt so lost, so confused, dazed from the man who wasn’t quite yours, but who had never belonged to anyone else.

He kissed your forehead and your cheeks with a gentleness you’d forgotten he was capable of. Without straining a muscle, he carried you across the room, his fingers leaving tiny little marks on your skin. Still, the sadness, the guilt wouldn’t leave you, your eyes burning with perplexity, even through the haze that his blood always induced in you.

“I only have one coffin, my love, and the room isn’t sun-proofed,” Dazai said, leading into the other room to open the coffin he’d made a bed.

“samu, I need to go home.” Your eyes fluttered shut as you yawned, dropping your head on his shoulder. “I can’t stay here with you.”

“There’s no one there.” Dazai’s fingers were gentle as they carded through your hair, scratched at your scalp. “And it’s not safe. The sun is about to rise.”

“I need to leave.”

You drew back to look at his face, surprised by the raw emotion that you saw there. For once, he seemed desperate, wanting to keep you near him, the heart that he held in the palm of his hand, even if you hadn’t realized it until now.

“Please,” he said, stroking your cheek gently. “I want you here.”

The hazy fog still lingered. It was no use trying to rationalize your thoughts. There was no reason to try and wash yourself of your sins, not when you’d already done something that you wouldn’t forgive yourself for after. “This can’t happen again. I won’t let it happen again.”

Dazai climbed into the coffin and held out a hand, glowing in the moonlight, a creature of the night straight from the stories that you’d heard as a child. “We’ll see if that stands true tomorrow.”

tag list: @cerberels @thateldribitch @hauntedsol @hannzai @cha0thicpisces @kissesmellow21 @sukiischaotic @hinata7346 @scinclaitnoir @mimimimiminanana @yolkyuyi @xxoolii @zephoncocaine @sookisaurus @angelsdemonsandhumans @kouyoumarryme @avocate-assia-dazai @mort-froggoo @fyodorisbbg @iluv-ace@kemis-world @pe4rl-diver @lacunaanonymoused @wilbur-the-hottie @zbriia

notes: mmmkay so my editing on this is not that great, please let me know if there's any glaring errors HSDHSHDf. there was another scene written, but i felt like this was a better stopping point (and i didn't get the next scene quite finished)