>at The Graveyard

Isn't a lolita gross and wrong?; "a sexually precocious young girl" is that what u're going for?

I want to start out by telling everyone that this idea of Lolita Fashion is 100% incorrect.

Not to seem harsh to you, anon, a lot of people unfamiliar with the fashion make this mistake (including my mother! She was alarmed by the name, but she did her research on her own and was happy with what she learned!)!

I just want it be stated right here at the beginning that Lolita fashion has nothing to do with the book by Vladimir Nabokov or fetishizing young girls. In fact, everyone I know within the community, as well as myself, are disgusted by the the world’s tendency to romanticize the book and dread people bringing it up to us.

That said, what is Lolita fashion, and why does it get mistaken for something sexually deviant?

(edited for more accurate history and added links!)All fashion involves a lot of history, so I’m going to abridge this pretty brutally:

Lolita fashion came about in Japan in the 80s and 90s, largely inspired by the aesthetics of Visual-Kei bands. There are a lot of other influences and more of a story behind it all, but there’s the start.

Allegedly, it was also inspired by fashion movements popping up in the 70s as a way for people (of any gender) to dress more modestly! So it may actually have roots in a push-back against emerging styles that felt too revealing to members of the fashion community.

But it’s definite that its origins are directly linked to the Visual-Kei music movement. You will also notice that modern Lolita looks are reminiscent of Victorian and Edwardian era fashion.

Wearers and followers of the fashion were never and still aren’t trying to seduce anyone with their frills; it’s literally the opposite! Lolita fashion has always been a way for wearers to step outside the “norm” and feel unique, like we’re doing something for ourselves; I’ve personally never had men at my feet because there’s a pink rabbit printed on my dress, and I’m glad.

It wasn’t even until the 90s, about two decades after the fashion’s earliest beginnings, that the name Lolita was coined in Japan and stuck.

How that happened is actually sort of a mystery and the topic of mild debate within the Lolita community! Some say the name alone has a link to the book, but even they are adamant that the book as NOTHING to do with values, influences, and interests of the fashion and the community. And they’re correct!

I say it’s the topic of mild debate, because after about thirty years of outsiders to the fashion asking “why do you call it Lolita if it’s not about the book,” and trying to justify our fashion to people who don’t even wear it and who otherwise aren’t interested, We Just. Don’t. Care why “it’s called that,” because we understand two very important things:

Most subcultures don’t name themselves, and once a name is established by whatever means popularized it, members of that subculture are not going to shake the title even if they try. A fifteen year old me insisting to people “it’s not emo, it’s scene” comes to mind, though on a less extreme level. The Lolita community can never seem to avoid the connotations of the name, but the name exists regardless and in the end doesn’t matter since we know we aren’t trying to emulate anything from the novel. It is totally unrelated!

We are not dressing this way to seduce men (or anyone)Read that, and then read it again, everyone. To believe that women (or anyone else) who dress in Lolita are trying to seduce men by acting like little girls is to believe that we ONLY get dressed with the goal of seducing men. But that’s really nothing new.Moreover, the idea that Lolitas would spend upwards of 100-1000 dollars (yes! that much!) on a single coordinate to impress some dude we pass on the street is absurd and would even be hilarious if so many people didn’t actually think it’s true. People really believe that! That I put on a pink wig and rocking horse shoes in my one-horse town because I think men will like it! In fact, in most Lolitas’ experiences, men are pretty put off by the look. Like I said before, the fashion is based on Victorian and Edwardian styles with a goal of dressing more modestly. Media or some (none that I’ve met) wearers of the fashion CAN sexualize the fashion with their representations of it, but that does not reflect or represent the goals and ideals of the fashion and the community.

Here is a really wonderful video of a European women traveling to Japan and interviewing members of another Japanese fashion sub-culture. She asks why they dress the way they do, and they discuss feeling empowered and included by their clothes, friends, and other members of the fashion sub-culture. Please check it out!

In the twelve years I have been interested in Lolita fashion (since I was twelve), the fashion has never been seductive or sexual to me or anyone else I speak to in the community.

Instead, it’s a community of people who love expressing ourselves through ornate and carefully constructed “coords,” meaning coordinates, that show off our personal styles and abilities to put together new and beautiful artworks of fashion! Although there are always some petty people anywhere you go, in my experience the community is a positive one that has always encouraged me and made me feel pretty and talented from the very start.

Lolita is fun, expressive, and it’s for everyone.

I could go on and on about this. But the point is: people dressing in Lolita are dressing for OURSELVES. And that’s that. Thank you for the ask, it really gave me a chance to talk more about something I love!

you ever wonder what happened to Leon between Damnation and Vendetta?

Extra:

Now this is my new ringtone

:”)

when u wanna talk to someone but u don’t wanna be……..too much

So is it just me, or does every new owner of Tumblr getting announced feel like we’re getting a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?

on my wedding night

me: *sobbing*

my wife: what’s wrong

me: I can’t believe a girl likes me

gentle reminder

it’s okay if you lack the motivation or time to do something, or you’ve hit a creative block - try your best to not get frustrated and do something small that you enjoy to occupy or refresh your mind for a moment

Tis the season to be spooky 💀🎁🎄

*crying* s-soooft ;;;;;;;;;;;;

Scorpio and Atsushi or Dazai, please~ <3 (I love Tom Riddle too but something positive with him? Hahaha)

atsushi + scorpio

- the world can’t tear you down if you’ll tear down the bad guys first!- kind and gentle, is strong when you need to be- lilac flowers in small pots, warm wooden floors, a cloudy day just before the storm, or a windy day in spring with the strong smell of freshly cut grass, warm in bed when the rain patters on your roof

dazai + scorpio

- i’m not afraid of the world, because my world is you- beautiful and cheerful, makes revenge seem like an art form- books and papers scattered on the floor, stacked neatly on the desk, inks and stationeries, sunlight through the windows on a hot day, fan set the max as you take an afternoon nap

bonus: tom riddle + scorpio

- even when you have nothing, remember that you’ll always have yourself- bare trees in the winter, a warm hearth just lit not long ago, the smell of wood and books, the comfy red couch in the corner, layered with blankets and coats

i hope u liked it! :DD

And that’s why Ango don’t let Dazai get drunk with all the sake that he receives

All the idea about dazai drunk was from Lea and Frankie in the dazatsu server of discord