Distant Past

early gnostic theologian: material existence is a form of torture thrusted upon humanity by the treacherous demiurge.

the same theologian eleven months on estrogen: well maybe actually it not so bad.

Something about having an universal translator, and learning to understand without it

Our local newspaper ran a story about the legendary graffiti artist who recently passed away and. Literally everything about it is fucking insane. I'm insane about it.

So this guy has been extremely active for around fifteen years, during which he spread these beautiful, high quality pieces all over the country, way over a thousand of his standard signature, and probably thousands more. He did completely batshit stuff like literally spray painting an entire train from top to bottom or leaving his signature at the top of a 600ft tall overpass and this whole time, only five people from his crew know who he really is. To everyone else it's a complete mystery.

And then he dies at the age of 35. A few weeks after his death, his crew shows up at his completely unassuming parents' doorstep, reveals who they are and asks if they can host a memorial exhibition of his art.

Turns out, this dude has been leading an insane double life. In the daytime he was a meek little office worker with a partially paralyzed arm and no social life to speak of. In the nighttime he was a fucking legend. Not only did he climb that fucking 600ft overpass, he did it WITH A PHYSICAL DISABILITY. THE MADLAD. And throughout the entire time, fifteen years, he got caught once. ONCE. HE DID ALL THAT UNNOTICED. THAT'S INSANE.

It takes a village! 🧑‍🤝‍🧑💪🦈

Our Animal Care team recently completed annual exams on all seven leopard sharks in our Kelp Forest exhibit. From aquarists to veterinarians and volunteers, it takes a small community of shark afishionados to get this important job done!

Each shark was brought up individually by the dive team, anesthetized, and given a full workup. Vet services drew blood, inspected gills for parasites, checked eyes, and examined the elasmobranchs via ultrasound. Meanwhile, aquarists recorded measurements as the sharks woke up.

These annual checkups are critical to the ongoing care of these amazing animals—and it wouldn’t be possible without the collaborative work of our dedicated Aquarium community! 💙

📸 Thanks to staffers Mary and Tiffany for the fintastic photos!

In light (haha) of the recent eclipse, I’d like to point out that it was during an eclipse in 1868 that French Astronomer Jules Janssen observed an unusual spectral line produced when he pointed his telescope at the partially obscured sun. He assumed that it corresponded to the spectrum of Sodium.

Observation by English astronomer Norman Lockyer later that year revealed it to be a different element. The first one discovered on a distant celestial sphere before it was discovered on Earth. He chose to name it after the sun.

In 1968, one hundred years later, a space probe was launched to orbit around and study the sun.

mormons undoubtedly in the top 5 worst things the united states has ever invented which is really saying something

you've been waiting a while for a new maths update - and it's finally here!

improvements include:

in gender selection screen, added "sumtraction" option

fixed bug where positive divergent sums evaluated to negative numbers

added new 2-dimensional version of off-by-1 errors - off-by-[1,1]

changed the discrete maths server to a PvP zone (note: computer science is still PvNP)

the category theory DLC is now (co)free!

to prevent confusion with function graphs, all voiced lines pronounce "graph theory" with a soft g

fixed "vacuously true" glitch

integrals can now disobey fundamental theorem of calculus when unhappy. they become happy again if fed logarithmic functions

hyperbolic geometry no longer exaggerates as a rhetorical device (note: spherical geometry left the same as before)

rebalanced primes so that 4k+1's and 4k+3's alternate in Thue-Morse pattern. added an uncomputable 4k+2 prime

hot combinatorial games now distribute their temperature according to the laws of thermodynamics; cold games are now superconductive

added demo of "finitist hardcore" gamemode. as of now only two levels are available

subtraction is now associative

recursion is now recursive

added a nontrivial linear, associative, commutative binary operation on the positive reals, over which addition is distributive

exponentiated liner logic, so that additive logic is multiplicative and multiplicative logic is exponential

fixed "negative probability" glitch

redesigned the Tits Building and the Cox-Zucker Machine

fixed trigonometry

increased hitboxes for infinitesimals

added lootboxes

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

me when i recommend something to someone and they end up not liking it