thorin but make him a polish nobleman
you can get a print here: inprnt!
Little pond
They heard a noise in the middle of the night
I love that canonically Sauron is an arts and crafts enjoyer like RIP Sauron my king you would've fucking loved the hot glue gun
the real secret to zuko's redemption arc is the month he spent working in public food service
i just wanted to be a regular fan i didn’t choose this
The Fellowship movie did Bilbo so dirty ☠️ I know they didn’t make the hobbit movies yet so they were trying to keep the focus on Frodo but:
Bilbo is friends with Aragorn and comes to his defense over Boromir rather than Legolas
Bilbo volunteers to take the ring to Mordor first so nonchalantly like an old queer professor on sabbatical volunteering to cover a 101 course and everyone at the council is honored by his offer
Literally not even scared or sad about it or anything — just straight up “yeah okay I see what you’re getting at, Lord Elrond, I’ll do it 💅 guess I’ll have to rewrite the ending of my book”
Bilbo doesn’t ask to see the ring again or make a go at Frodo but instead sings a sad little song out the window after giving him Sting and his mithril shirt
“it is my dwarf-mail that Thorin gave me” AAAH
Bilbo’s there when they leave Rivendell in the winter and tells them good luck like a worried little peepaw
Also the movie makes it sound like he never got to Erebor but HE DID and was traveling with some of the original company including Gloin who’s the only one who smiles when Bilbo volunteers to take the ring to Mordor
lotr au where everything is the same except they have phones so for half of the journey legolas is getting spam calls from thranduil asking where tf he is
I'm too much of a sucker for the tragedy of Wicked's ending to take any of this seriously, but the funniest possible fix-it concept is that Glinda just. Does not know. How the fuck. To send this 12yo back to Kansas. Like why the hell would she know how to do that?? Who thought it was a good idea to leave her in charge of this???
And from Dorothy's POV, this is such a funny concept: imagine for a minute that you (a child) wake up in a Fairy-Land, become best friends with a (possibly mentally unstable?) talking scarecrow, and are told by the god-kind that you must go murder his political rival before he'll send go home. Fine. This might as well happen.
And when you return from said murder - which is somehow successful - it turns out the god-king is a fraud and cannot help you. Whoops. Well, how about the OTHER seemingly most powerful person in the country? Ah, no....it turn out she had pretty limited powers in the magic department. And they're mostly bubble-related.
So she takes you (by bubble) to a tiny seaside town on the edge of the map to seek the help of her most powerful friends….the woman you just murdered and your scarecrow best friend who was an accomplice to that murder. And apparently, they’ve all three been dating since undergrad.
I mean, what do you even do with that.
Look at this distinguished gentleman. Look at the way he is sitting. Yes, very distinguished.
Banner image courtesy of NASA (butterfly nebula)
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