Omg

Justice League Meeting

Superman: where’s Batman? The meeting was supposed to start 20 minutes ago.

Wonderwoman: could he be in danger?

Green Arrow: someone maybe should call him BEFORE we go into defcon 1

Superman: [calls the bat-line]

Oracle: [answers] this is O. How can I help?

Superman: Hi Oracle. Batman was supposed to be at the tower 20 minutes ago. Do you know where he is?

Oracle: let me check… yeah, he’s at the cave, I can connect you to the security cameras?

Superman: Please.

Oracle: ok.

-The batcave shows up on screen, Bruce and some of the kids present-

Batman: [Mid sentence] -OUTRAGEOUS STUNT!!

Damian: [scowling, arms crossed] -tt-

Batman: Do NOT scoff at me, young man!

Jason: [snorts]

Batman: Are you Laughing?! This is reckless even by YOUR standards Jason!

Jason: yeah… but you said-

Batman: [menacing] What?!

Jason: [looks at Dick and mimes “young man”]

Batman: Don’t look at-

Dick: [loudly and jovially] THERE’S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN

Batman: Wh-

Steph: I said YOUNG MAN [spins to point at Tim]

Tim: [Fingerguns at Steph] Pick yourself off the ground!

Batman: [floundering] En-

Dick: I said YOUNG MAN

Jason: ‘Cause you’re in a new town!

Duke: [from the locker rooms] There’s no need to be unhappy!

Batman: [to Duke] You’re not even in trouble!

Steph and Tim: YOUNG MAN there’s a place you can go!

Dick: [throws an arm around Jason’s shoulders] I said YOUNG MAN! When you’re short on your dough!

Jason: You can STAY THERE!

Batman: That’s EN-

Dick and Jason: [turn to Damian, grinning expectantly] and I’m sure you will find-!!

Damian: [glaring and without enthusiasm] …many ways to have a good time.

Batman: Don’t-

All the batkids: [chorusing] It’s fun to stay at the B-A-T CAVE

Batman: [finally loses it] WHY???!!

-

Superman: …

Green Arrow: …well someone has to say it.

The Flash: That he should get an award for parenting that lot?

Green Arrow: that clearly inherited behaviour has nothing to do with genetics. I grew up with Bruce Wayne; he deserves every second of this

So I just had a thought

What if supernatural creatures don’t exist anymore? What if they did once, but through the years, they slowly mixed in with humans?

You can see the blood of fairies in the way a ballet dancer hovers in mid air before he or she hits the ground. You can see it in the way that middle school girl never forgets when someone makes her a promise. You can see it in how that one little boy in the kindergarten class seems more comfortable in the forest on that field trip than the others.

You can see the blood of dryads in hikers who never trip over roots. You can see it in that suburban grandmother never lets any of her garden die. You can see it in that one kid who climbs a tree faster than his friends, barely looking at the branches as he goes.

You can see the blood of naiads in the way a professional swimmer seems to command the water to help them. You can see it in how a cross country runner needs a water break more often than his teammates. You can see it in the way that one girl in your class always has a water bottle on her desk.

You can see the blood of mermaids in a surfer who can be tossed around underwater for a long time without drowning. You can see it in a teenage boy who doesn’t have to pretend to be unbothered by the pressure when he races his friends to the bottom of a swimming pool. You can see it in the little girl who wades into every stream she sees on a hike without quite knowing why.

You can see the blood of sirens in people who never have a problem with getting people to date them. You can see it in that soprano who can hit notes most of her fellows can only dream of. You can see it in the camp counselor who all the straight girls have a crush on, who can play guitar and sing better than any of the others.

You can see the blood of shapeshifters in the way an actor adjusts their personality to become their character with scary accuracy. You can see it in the subconscious, barely noticeable changes a tween girl’s eyes make to match her outfit better. You can see it in the way you always lose that one friend in a crowd if you’re not careful, because he’s just too good at blending in.

People who carry the blood of werewolves don’t change with the full moon anymore, but you can still see it in the way your best friend always knows something is wrong, though even they don’t know they’re smelling the changes in your body chemistry. You can see it in the way that one guy always seems to eat more than the reasonable amount of red meat at an all-you-can-eat buffet. You can see it in the way that one werido never has a problem when the teacher turns off the lights before a PowerPoint presentation because her eyes adjust quicker and better than yours.

The blood of supernatural creatures may have mostly faded away. But if you look closely, you can still see it.

You should share this for people in DC and close to you!!

Black Community we have to be careful. Protect our Girls! Spread this! 

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

Damian, the baby assassin, Dupain-Cheng (Part 1)

Summary: Marinette adopts Damian, The only problem is that Damian does not want to be adopted. Can Marinette give Damian the childhood he would have never gotten if he´d stayed in the league?

A/N: So this was supposed to be a onshot for “It´s called rescuing not kidnapping” but I have no self control so this will have several parts.

Ao3

If there was one thing Marinette learned from hawkmoth’s rule all those years ago is to expect the unexpected.

Unexpected things happen at the most unexpected times 

Like becoming a superheroine after helping an old man cross the street…

… or kidnapping the heir of the league of assassins during her morning shift.

Though in Marinette’s defense it was more rescuing than kidnapping. Since it was The League of Assassins 

 So yeah, rescuing…. Not kidnapping 

Marinette’s closest friends liked to joke that the Dupain-Cheng family had a habit of adopting people to the point that would make Bruce, the serial adopter, Wayne shudder. 

And well Marinette couldn’t exactly say they were wrong. 

After all, most of them had been adopted at some point into the family.

And also there was a child sleeping in her living room.

~♡~♡~♡~

Keep reading

A Statistics teacher in Gotham makes a graph comparing times when Bruce Wayne goes on long vacations with times Batman gets beaten up really badly by villains to illustrate to his class how correlation does not equal causation.

Cité des Démons; Part 3

Summary: The Dupain-Chengs have had enough of Paris, they’re tired of their daughter being bullied by those she once called her friends. In an effort to escape the pain of Paris they move to the most crime ridden city in the world for a spice of something new.

Note: I changed the year things happened if you couldn’t tell. Instead of becoming Ladybug at thirteen it happened at the age of twelve. This part is Marinette explaining to the Bats (minus Barbara) about her past, what happened in Paris, and why she should help them.

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

•••

Marinette had given both Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, otherwise known as Batman and Robin respectively, when she jumped off a building the first time only to have a yoyo appear at her side and used as a grappling hook. When they met on a roof a bit away she just laughed at their stunned faces, taking a bit of pride in it. The girl missed free running but Gotham wasn’t her territory and she wasn’t going back to Paris unless the Akumas come back. She seriously was having withdrawls when it came to the lack of a superhero identity. 

Keep reading

Tony: You can't get everyone to like you. You're not Spider-Man.

Criminal, being dangled off roof: Well, not everyone likes Spider-Man-

Tony: Who? Who doesn't like Spider-Man?

Criminal: Well.... Um...

Tony: Names, idiot, I need names.

News reporter, on live television: I'm here with Peter Parker, who was publicly outed against his will 4 hours ago. Mr Parker, a few words?

Peter, crying: EVERYONE KNOWS I'M BI???

News reporter:

News reporter: well now we do