I am suffering from pink deficiency
"I am what I think you think I am"
I heard this while listening to "on purpose" by jay shetty and it's been stuck with me ever since. Sometimes we become those versions of ourselves that we think other people might think about us. If someone ever called you intellectual you would feel great about it but now you would be scared to disappoint them so you would inevitably act like it. The problem begins when you start looking for that validation, when you want them to say it again just because it made you feel good. When someone specifically points out that you are selfish and you start to sabotage yourself.
The only person capable enough to validate you should be you, yourself.
i feel everything, like thunder behind someone else’s eyes, like heartbreak that isn’t mine but still settles in my bones.
empathy, they say, is a gift, but some gifts come wrapped in fire. i burn quietly for others, even when they don’t notice the smoke.
i love too much, every time. not halfway, not measured, just everything, all at once.
and when they leave, they take pieces they didn’t know they borrowed. still, i’d do it again, bleed kindness into the silence, offer softness in a world that often bites.
it’s a blessing, it’s a curse, but it’s me. and i don’t know how to be anything else.
x.
I feel better now thanks for the attention @conditioningint3stin3s I love you
Virginia Woolf, from The Waves
love, love, love