Tried Writing A Poem After Three Years.

"No country would ever consider it an act of evil to deny a pig human rights.

Therefore, if you were to define someone speaking a different tongue, someone of a different color, someone of a different heritage as a pig in human form, any oppression, persecution, or atrocity you might inflict upon them would never be regarded as cruel or inhumane."

--Eighty Six, Vol. 1

AINT NO WAY, DIED, STOP CALLING ME OUT LIKE THAT

Told her to undress me, she showed me my jee ka result kyuki nanga to usme bhi hua tha

"Hope comes so naturally to you."

I read this line over and over again and sometimes I wish, it didn't. Sometimes, I wish hope didn't come easily to me. Sometimes, I just wish your comforting nihilism and words of how it shall all turn to dust either way appealed to me naturally.

I walk around this world and as I grow, I learn more of it. I see the destruction, the ruins we send our environment into, the hatred that spreads like a deadly poison, the bigotry, the complete breakdown this economy is having around us, the rich become richer and the poor only grow poorer. The divide, the ignorance, just the sheer amount of misery-- Misery. The common affliction to human condition.

And yet, I hate to think, 'Nothing will change'.

It would be *so* easy to. But I cannot.

Because I don't know what happens next-- then how can I say it never changes? Never will?

We don't know what will happen to everything.

What do we know?

That it will all eventually turn to dust.

Might as well turn to dust bearing some hope. Trying what little we can, bringing change in the little corner of the world. Maybe, just maybe the world will learn.

Because if it all ends, then what's the harm in hoping?

There are two ways you can live your life-- as the ignorant one. Ignorance is, in itself, bliss. To never let yourself be aware of the wretchedness of it all.

And as the aware one. To be aware, to be conscious, to be critical and slowly feel yourself become jaded. It is the more painful way.

But if history stands as evidence, it is the critical one who challenged the status quo. The critique who dares to hope for better has always been the one bringing change.

"I look around and see the misery. I look around and can't help but be aware of the futility. But I still clutch kindness closely to my heart. I still hold on to humanity and its dynamic ability to change. I still hope.

Because to hope, is to live.

And to live without hope, is to live a miserable life."

Re: Hope might come naturally to me, but even if it did not, even if it stopped being the case- I will still choose it.

Ok today i WILL finish the book im currently reading cuz i just ordered 3 more books and have another already waiting for me. I am falling behind chat.

Kisses and all are cool, but small moments like these <3

some days back, good omens 3 was released and i watched it. i felt a sinking despair cuz the vibes were off. crowley was not behaving well and fumbling nonstop, aziraphale was being openly very clingy and out of character and the entire show was about their love, and the movie forgot about the entire non-romantic plot of the show and i was reeally confused and at last, i was glad to wake up cuz it was a fucking nightmare.

Can't wait to be at the nursing home in my old age with my grandkids crying at my bedside because I can't remember their names but I can recite in chronological order every time Aziraphale and Crowley are together in history without any hesitation

It's the way Aziraphale is a terrible liar and magician but he always effortlessly pulls through whenever it is to protect Crowley.

Exhibit A:

In season 1, when Gabriel and Sandalphon drop by for a surprise visit, and they can tell something smells evil, Aziraphale very smoothly lies which is one of the only times he isn't an anxious mess in front of the Archangels.

Exhibit B:

The picture swapping in season 2 which is emphasised even further later when Aziraphale tries to recreate the magic trick once they're back (safe) in the bookshop and just fails lol

There's no conclusion to this I just thought it was neat and I needed to ramble a bit

Edit: OK there is a conclusion, actually (my brain just needed to process lol). I think it really reinforces how at his core, Aziraphale is a protector. A guardian, if you will. It comes naturally to him. We see it with the way he decides to help Gabriel in s2 with no hesitation, with how he immediately puts the humans' safety first when the demons attack the bookshop. We're often so focused on Crowley's protective side towards our angel, it's easy to miss the maybe more subtle ways Aziraphale protects him right back.

And I think it could play quite a part in his decision to go back to Heaven. Perhaps it's wishful thinking but I don't think he'll fumble his role as Supreme Archangel, if we are to believe he made that decision partly to protect Crowley, then I 100% believe he'll pull through. Because he gets it right when it matters, after all.

"good things come to those who wait around"

and i have been waiting around forever, where are the good things. is there a glitch hello

HELLOOOOOOO

throwback to the one time I wrote two male best friends- Matthews and Izumi- in a war-prone world with impending doom and Matthews turned out to have been a spy from the enemy nation all along, but then he betrayed his country three chapters later cuz he had begun caring fr about Izumi.

And did i tell that Izumi almost punched him but then realized he couldnt even raise a fist at that face and broke down crying.

then the Matthews dies under the meteor to save Izumi.

And the final conversation was supposed to be like, Matthews in Izumi's arms imagine.

"Maybe in another life, we could have been something more." Matthews lets out a short laugh which turns to cough.

"More than enemies?"

"More than best friends."

Izumi stares, unblinking. "You already are. You always will be."

BUT MATTHEWS EYES ARE CLOSED NOW, IZUMI REALISES. SO DID HE HEAR THAT? OR NOT? but izumi breaks down crying anyway, repeating 'you always will be' over and over again.

And yea, it took me a hot minute before writing that scene to realize, "wait, this lowkey gay."