Villainification Of Perfectly Reasonable Anger; A Queer Feminist's Rant.

As more and more time passes, I feel more and more attached to the few representations in media we have. Being on a-spec is awesome in its own way, but I only wish if I could see more of it in media. Not because I wanna feel seen. But because I wanna see what future might look like for someone on a-spec who doesn't want any sort of partnership. I saw some posts earlier talking about how a "single" life is extremely hard to sustain in current economy and that's extremely true. I also remember my friend saying "you can always adopt kids! You need someone to look after you in old age!" And... she was somewhat right, in a way. I don't want kids, but... what exactly is my future going to be like? Who is going to be there for me in a world where romantic relationships are prioritized before anything else? Its just all very very... in dark. There is no movie or book to look at and say "hey! Thats the kind of life I want!" Because every single media shows a version of life that isn't for me. I talk to my friends about wanting to live as a "single queer cat lady" but... realistically, how sustainable and possible is that?

finished reading PnP and now i officially hate all the literary references that modern romances (like The Fine Print) make to PnP. Like no. Darcy was not a cold-hearted, empathy-devoid asshole like your male lead, maam. He was a little awkward, obstinate, prideful and *successfully* reflects that by HIMSELF and works on himself, not just to get the girl, but because thats what good men do.

Seriously, the only modern PnP reference i like anymore is probably like, good omens or something.

It's the way Aziraphale is a terrible liar and magician but he always effortlessly pulls through whenever it is to protect Crowley.

Exhibit A:

In season 1, when Gabriel and Sandalphon drop by for a surprise visit, and they can tell something smells evil, Aziraphale very smoothly lies which is one of the only times he isn't an anxious mess in front of the Archangels.

Exhibit B:

The picture swapping in season 2 which is emphasised even further later when Aziraphale tries to recreate the magic trick once they're back (safe) in the bookshop and just fails lol

There's no conclusion to this I just thought it was neat and I needed to ramble a bit

Edit: OK there is a conclusion, actually (my brain just needed to process lol). I think it really reinforces how at his core, Aziraphale is a protector. A guardian, if you will. It comes naturally to him. We see it with the way he decides to help Gabriel in s2 with no hesitation, with how he immediately puts the humans' safety first when the demons attack the bookshop. We're often so focused on Crowley's protective side towards our angel, it's easy to miss the maybe more subtle ways Aziraphale protects him right back.

And I think it could play quite a part in his decision to go back to Heaven. Perhaps it's wishful thinking but I don't think he'll fumble his role as Supreme Archangel, if we are to believe he made that decision partly to protect Crowley, then I 100% believe he'll pull through. Because he gets it right when it matters, after all.

instead of studying, I made a terribly compressed chart of the secret history characters and their dynamics by the end of the book: [TSH SPOILERS!!!!]

Volume 4 (AKA trauma train) moments that got me in the FEELS:

1) [when Hua Cheng is asked what his worst fear and THIS MAN RESPONDS WITH:]

“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “Watching your beloved be trampled and ridiculed with your own eyes and being unable to do a thing about it. You understand that you are nothing, that you can do nothing. That’s the worst suffering in the world.”

2) [the marriage "joke" and the moving in "joke"]

“Gege, want to get married?”

“...”

Xie Lian was struck dumb. “...Huh?”

__

“I’ve been wanting to ask,” Hua Cheng said. “If gege doesn’t feel secure living here, why not move somewhere else?”

Xie Lian shook his head. “That’s easy for you to say, San Lang. Where would I move?”

Hua Cheng smiled. “Why not move in with me?”

3) [no notes. Perfect moment]

Hua Cheng stared at him intently. “Gege, do you trust me?”

Xie Lian met his eyes and was equally firm in his response.

“I do.”

4) Xie Lian hiding a shirtless Hua Cheng from other officials so impulsively

5) [eyebrow raise moment]

Xie Lian patted Hua Cheng down to check for wounds, feeling up his chest, his arms, and all the way down his legs. But other than coming to the conclusion that Hua Cheng had a truly fine body, he made no notable finds.

6) [xie lians laugh at hua cheng]

“Gege, although I’m happy you’re so happy, is it really that funny?” Hua Cheng asked in a woeful tone.

Xie Lian hugged his belly as he laughed. “Of course! Only since meeting you have I rediscovered how simple it is to be happy, ha ha ha ha ha…”

7) [xie lian threatening hua with scariest punishment]

But Xie Lian threatened, “If you leave now, don’t ever come back to see me again.”

“...Your Highness!” Hua Cheng cried, shocked.

___

That's all. For now. We shall ignore everything else that happened in blackwater. Nothing happened. All is good. Trust.

Can't wait to be at the nursing home in my old age with my grandkids crying at my bedside because I can't remember their names but I can recite in chronological order every time Aziraphale and Crowley are together in history without any hesitation

i love how the forward of every hitchhikers book is like, "yeah this book has no fucking plot. it has no fucking coherent characters. but are you really here for the plot or for the shits and giggles?"

And they are fucking correct. damned be the plot, we wing it with the wackiness of universe. Heres to the clever, hilarious, silly and occasionally deep, shits and giggles of h2g2.

got into tears of themis so bad recently but too broke to buy foreign merch, so diy we go:

Bad lighting x)

finished shatter me book 1 in half a day and my brother stared at me like i am a lunatic. My mother taunted me about studies. Fantastic.

personally, unless i absolutely have tears in my eyes, stain the pages and have a full blown miserable crisis just like my character, I don't consider the scene to be sad.