Existential Despair Is So Common In A Person's Twenties, I Think, Because Up Until That Point, We've

Pleading for my exam tomorrow to be cancelled. Can't study jackshit atp. My mind is cooked.

Well. Now to get more serious.

As an indian, this entire india-pak conflict has been enlightening about one thing- other countries don't give a jackshit. Nor does global. In the sense that, the pain india felt due to Pahalgam can never be translated to you.

Disclaimer: I do not hope for a war or escalation. I am just tired of seeing people talk about this stuff in black and white terms.

I am tired of entire narrative with this, "ahhh india attacked civillians!"

Civilian deaths are to be mourned. They shouldn't happen. I pray for their families but the attack was never targeting civilians- unlike what Pak did last night. Which I will get to shortly.

So, it was a calculated retaliation (on terrorist sites) to Pahalgam which was fucking horrific and bone chilling. The entire country was chilled.

And yes. Pahalgam is backed by Pakistan. It has been a pattern. Here is a video to get you started on this mess, entire history of kashmir conflict and what not. The history of terrorism. It has sources linked.

Let's get to last night now.

I live in the state adjacent to a border one. My hometown itself was one of the places which was rained by missiles. My family could hear the blasts, the crackling noise till 2 am. My baby cousin was crying scared. All was dark and the only light was of missiles.

Pakistan attacked civillian cities, alongside the ones with army bases. They did not give a fuck.

I don't know how it isn't clear what the country is trying to do already.

I am just so sick. Hoping no escalation happens. We don't need a war. No one does. But stop painting India in red. Pakistan isn't the victim. They haven't been from a while.

Final words? Asking the common citizens of both countries to stay safe.

Crowley's expressions of love in season 2

Bonus:

I just finished watching a video on focus/reading and was wondering about the attention economy and how people are genuinely struggling- then I opened tumblr and then I frowned at how legit I see no one discuss that here for the most part.

And then I realized because this hellsite is a text-driven, minimally algorithmised, filled with a userbase of creatives and holding strongly onto the 'romantic era' culture.

All other platforms being plagued with ai art and posts, but be shunned to death if you try that shit on tumblr. Credit the artist or begone from this place, fool.

Its like the entire place agrees unanimously on some basic ideals and will die before letting go of them.

I love it.

idk man, the fact that skip and loafer cares to differentiate between attraction to someone because you like them as person, attraction as friend and attraction as lover feels pretty neat ngl. tell me another manga which does that?? you cant.

seeing my friends get into relationships/situationships around me is so weird like, what do you mean you actually want all that stuff?? werent we talking about cool books a while back and how we will live in a mansion together as besties forever together?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES A MAN IN THE EQUATION??

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A LOVE OF LIFE-

And in a more serious vein, when that happens- you simply stop being the first priority. For allo people, their relationship will always be that. the top priority. And that. that my friends, is the only part about being aromantic I always hate. "Everyones falling in love and im just falling behind."

Can't wait to be at the nursing home in my old age with my grandkids crying at my bedside because I can't remember their names but I can recite in chronological order every time Aziraphale and Crowley are together in history without any hesitation

Introduction or something, i think

She/her, a student who also writes.

Queer/Aroace.

Constantly hyperfixating and analysing.

Intersec Feminist.

In too many fandoms to list or count.

Occasionally games (tot/gi/sdv)

Marius Von Hagen Enthusiast.

Hobbyist writer (crime stories/satire/dramedies/fanfics). You can find them all on wattpad or ao3.

Or you can simply scroll a bit down and find a poem or two I scraped together.

Side-blog for reblogs mostly: here.

[Currently reading: TGCF vol 5, Gone Girl.]

[2025 reading count: 17+ books and going]

Current Status: recovering from burn out.

Just finished reading the secret history and lemme tell ya, the moment I reached 450 page mark- it was a whole another moment. audibly yelled, "what, what the fuck, what the fuck is happening" at what the fuck was happening.

link click withdrawal is hittin hard rn, ill just try consuming something else to escape

It's the way Aziraphale is a terrible liar and magician but he always effortlessly pulls through whenever it is to protect Crowley.

Exhibit A:

In season 1, when Gabriel and Sandalphon drop by for a surprise visit, and they can tell something smells evil, Aziraphale very smoothly lies which is one of the only times he isn't an anxious mess in front of the Archangels.

Exhibit B:

The picture swapping in season 2 which is emphasised even further later when Aziraphale tries to recreate the magic trick once they're back (safe) in the bookshop and just fails lol

There's no conclusion to this I just thought it was neat and I needed to ramble a bit

Edit: OK there is a conclusion, actually (my brain just needed to process lol). I think it really reinforces how at his core, Aziraphale is a protector. A guardian, if you will. It comes naturally to him. We see it with the way he decides to help Gabriel in s2 with no hesitation, with how he immediately puts the humans' safety first when the demons attack the bookshop. We're often so focused on Crowley's protective side towards our angel, it's easy to miss the maybe more subtle ways Aziraphale protects him right back.

And I think it could play quite a part in his decision to go back to Heaven. Perhaps it's wishful thinking but I don't think he'll fumble his role as Supreme Archangel, if we are to believe he made that decision partly to protect Crowley, then I 100% believe he'll pull through. Because he gets it right when it matters, after all.