On Being A Dog, Being Eaten By Dogs, Needing Like A Dog, Losing Like A Dog

GET TO KNOW ME MEME [1/10 movies]

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

Dead Poets Society (1989) | dir. Peter Weir

rust cohle is The character that i’ve seen called a sociopath (in the shallow, “this is a flawed person who does things i don’t understand” prestige tv fan way) who obviously, like, cares the most. he forms his entire life in response to people. he’s in louisiana because of his daughter. he leaves louisiana because his relationship with marty and maggie is ruined. he spends his time away on fishing boats, marty’s hobby. he needs to save every child he can (or force himself to bear witness if he can’t) because he couldn’t do anything about his daughters death. he carves little visages of men out of empty beer cans while he’s talking. he loves humanity so much it eats at him. don’t know how people can get any other idea in their head, watching that show

Stop saying shit like that. It's unprofessional. [...] Like you 'smell a psycho's fear' or you're in 'someone's faded memory of a town' - just stop. TRUE DETECTIVE (2014– ) — 1.01 "The Long Bright Dark"

on leaving

the raven boys, maggie stiefvater// it's time to go, taylor swift// sleep on the floor, the lumineers// how’d your parents die again?, fatima asghar// dorothea, taylor swift// giovanni's room, james baldwin// my tears ricochet, taylor swift// also my tears ricochet// motion sickness, phoebe bridgers// ?// waiting room, phoebe bridgers// paper towns, john green// are you a soldier, a poet, or a king?, @atlanticsea // @8-bitfiction //it's time to go, taylor swift// @akindplace

"Last night the commander told me not to sing 'The Hanging Tree' anymore. Too dark, he said. Too rebellious, more like it. I promised he'd never hear it from my lips again."

—The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, Chapter 30

Intergenerational trauma / mental illness

The Sopranos (6x17) / Esquire Hereditary review / Moonlight / My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem / Pachinko (1x01) / I Love You, Honeybear (Father John Misty) / Russian Doll (2x04) / Doctor Sleep / Bojack Horseman (2x01)

But what if the dream doesn't go away when you wake up? And what if you lose the ability to tell the difference?

— Neal Shusterman, Challenger Deep (2015)

Twan Eng Tan, The Gift of Rain // Makoto Shinkai, Your Name // Nicola Yoon, The Sun Is Also a Star // Pavana // Lang Leav, "Soul Mates" // S.E. Hall, Emerge // Hayao Miyazaki, Spirited Away // Hafiz

grief

breaking bad 02x13 // platonic love - eliza adler // dark paradise - lana del rey // the hunger games: mockingjay part II // francis forever - mitski // grey’s anatomy 02x27 // ivan the terrible and his son ivan - illya repin // somewhere only we know - keane // supercut - lorde // summertime sadness - lana del rey

i think what fucked me up most about the midnight club is how desperate everyone was to believe in something, in anything. and in their desperation, all they found was each other. the stories mike flanagan create are actually heart-wrenching but this was on another level. the fact that he’s shown in every show that ghosts are not simply ghosts, they are wishes, and faith, and love, and sadness, and desperation. how when no one can bring themselves to believe in the truth they take to tales, and stories, to help themselves feel better. how every ghost story in the show was just themselves coping with their diseases and their pain. how fantastical is it that they held onto something so tightly, but it slipped through. like the sunlight in the trees or the wind through the grass. how no one blamed ilonka for believing in something so.. strange to make her friend better.

at the end of the day all they wanted was each other to do better. to live. how terrifying is it to know that you cannot live for much longer? to accept it? to let go of the ghosts and to simply stay present? how do you love and how do you lose? how do you accept loss? how do you grieve? how do you hold someone’s hand and not let go even when they do? how do you let someone go when they’re ready to but you’re not?

anyways this was my little tangent thing i’m still sobbing over the show. no one hmu will be rotting in my room for the next month