Notes On A Lonely History Of Love

coriolanus saying "is this real" to lucy gray about their feelings for each other because he needs to know that he's doing this for something and won't be wasting his time aka doing it for selfish reasons to make sure he's benefitting vs. peeta saying "real or not real" to katniss about their feelings because they're both equally traumatized and need the reassurance but their love isn't transactional and he's not asking for himself he's asking for both of them, so that they're both grounded in each other

i love you in the strongest way there is

via nozu on tumblr // richard siken // charles bukowski // nothingbutloveforyou on tumblr // inanotherunivrse on tumblr.

Interview with Melissa Broder, "Ask Polly and So Sad Today Talk About Feelings" // Miranda July, The First Bad Man // Giuseppe Molteni, The Confession

Paris, Texas (1984) | dir. Wim Wenders

Intergenerational trauma / mental illness

The Sopranos (6x17) / Esquire Hereditary review / Moonlight / My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem / Pachinko (1x01) / I Love You, Honeybear (Father John Misty) / Russian Doll (2x04) / Doctor Sleep / Bojack Horseman (2x01)

society of the snow (2023).

on burden and death.

When Haymitch informs Katniss and Finnick that Gale and the others have returned from the rescue operation in Mockingjay, Finnick is unable to walk and Katniss has to take his hand and lead him out ‘like a small child.’ due to how terrified her was to learn of Annie’s fate. He loved Annie so much 🥺💔

on being someone's ghost

fleetwood mac - silver springs / emily bronte - wuthering heights / olivia rodrigo - cant catch me now

watching the movie has really brought to my attention that what katniss did with rue was not new.

like watching reaper make a mass grave of the children, covering them with the symbol of a government whose job it was to protect them. or lamina giving a mercy blow to marcus, putting him out of his misery.

and then thinking about haymitch and maysilee. the way he ran when he heard her screaming. and stayed with her until she died.

memorializing the other children in the games might have been less common, but it was not new. because, as it turns out, children do not like to see their friends, their peers die in front of them.

and so, it makes me feel a little more dubious when people say that katniss's memorialization of rue in the first book was *the* catalyst for the revolution. and that is not to say that it was not part of the reason, but it just wasn't the most revolutionary thing that happened.

because while the movie directly connects that incident with the first protest in district eleven, that is not what we get in the book. in the book, all we get is a little gift of gratitude from district eleven to the girl who protected a child.

so, what was so revolutionary?

i think it all revolves around katniss's actions that put aside her will to survive to protect the people she loves. because when push comes to shove, she will not become the monster that is set solely on self-preservation. one that is only focused on her survival.

and for some reason, in my head, katniss's actions with peeta are a little more important than her volunteering for prim.

because while she did volunteer to enter an arena that almost guaranteed her death, it was for her sister. a perfectly healthy girl with a future ahead of her.

but when peeta was dying, it was a little different. she didn't need to do anything and she would be guaranteed safety. he would just die and she would be crowned victor.

even if she could save him, who knows if he would even survive when the capitol picked him up. (i mean... he almost didn't). so, it literally does not make any practical sense why she would sacrifice her life for a dying boy.

but she couldn't let him die. so if that meant that if she had to gamble her life to possibly get him to safety, she would do it. because she had no choice. because she loved him, she gambled her life to call the capitol's bluff.

and that was revolutionary.

Alex Irvine, John Winchester’s Journal