About

Big o'l eyes

Look at him, poor stygian barely eats the way he's shaped like a stick, give him a healthy meal he's starving. How can you say no to those eyes?

Not me making my first post abt posting gay ponies on here

what not to say to someone who just came out, pentiment edition

(act III spoilers ahead)

wishing every pentiment fanartist a very good day xoxo

Probs spoiling for myself (after two play-throughs with respected doctor Werner) but this is my first ever time seeing this and I never felt gut punched in my life.

The girls are fightinggggg

sorry if this isn't too thought out or anything but else mülleryn is one of my fav pentiment characters so I wanted to talk about her a little (spoilers ahead)

I think what I appreciate a lot about her characterisation is that her victimhood isn't her whole personality. I feel like some writers tend to (consciously or not) play into the 'perfect victim' trope, especially with women, and make abused characters completely unflawed. they're often depicted as loving, kind, caring, and weak, but I don't think else falls into that stereotype. this isn't to say else isn't loving or kind or caring, she definitely is. she isn't weak though - meek and shy, sure, especially in the first two acts when her abuser is alive and actively casting his shadow over her. but it takes a strong woman to survive in her position and raise a son who, against all odds, ends up becoming the stark opposite of their abuser.

at the same time, what I like about how else is written is that she is not perfect. there are a few moments, in fact, where she's very mean. like when magdalene brings up her scepticism about else's ancestors - I don't have the conversation to hand, but I do remember else can be very rude to magdalene, shutting her down when she brings up valid doubts. of course that doesn't make else evil or anything, she's defensive over her family history which is perfectly natural when it's something she clung to in secret for so long in the abusive environment of her marriage, where lenhardt tried to deny her her personhood. I think that reaction makes else feel very human; it makes sense she's quick to anger about something so close to her heart. I just like that she's written like this, rather than what we might expect based on other fictional characterisations of abused women. she doesn't let others trample over her just because she was a victim once. she defends her beliefs, however irrational they may be, just as someone like ill peter might. rudely and bluntly.

but this isn't just the case in act III, surprisingly. one of the first things else can say when andreas meets her in act I is actually much more mean-spirited. she asks andreas what it's like boarding with the gertners, and when he says they seem to enjoy having someone new staying with them, else responds with something along the lines of "perhaps eva more than clara, hm?" and then she backtracks, knowing that was perhaps a little too rude. it's somewhat vague what she means by that jab, especially at this point in the game, but I took it as slutshaming towards eva. we can later piece together that lenhardt and christine had an affair (although personally, this reads more as rape via coercion to me, given how lenhardt talks about his 'affairs' during the hunting scene), and that eva is lenhardt's illegitimate daughter. knowing how her husband treats women, knowing that his affair was likely not consensual, knowing that eva is just a byproduct of his violence and misogyny, else still makes that remark about her. it's less about eva herself, I think. it's the suppressed frustration and hatred she holds towards lenhardt and how he treats her and others, displaced onto a woman who exists only because of that behaviour.

else is a victim, of course, but she also perpetuates the misogynistic values that her husband upholds. 'eva is a whore because her mother was too' - that's what else seems to be thinking, because she can't think 'lenhardt is a disloyal rapist' if she wants to maintain her role as mother and wife. she can't be a 'good wife' if she hates her husband, so she projects that hatred elsewhere and adopts lenhardt's misogynistic, unempathetic thought processes. it's a very interesting and refreshing characterisation, I think. because it means that else isn't a perfect person just because she's a victim: on the contrary, it's her victimhood that makes her say and think things like this.

I especially believe that's the case because of how isolated she's been from the community since marrying lenhardt. correct me if I'm wrong but I seem to remember someone (maybe agnes?) mentioning that else is mostly avoided by the other women in town because of how her husband acts. she's the miller's wife. the miller who selfishly raises his tolls without showing remorse for the families who might starve because of it, the miller who coerces peasant women into sleeping with him. because of the sexist views of the time, a lot of the blame would have fallen onto else's shoulders. she's the miller's wife who can't keep her husband in line, the miller's wife who sits up on the hill outside her expensive townhouse looking down on all the poorer people she hates to mingle with. in reality, it's lenhardt who keeps her home (e.g. during st. john's eve) and prevents her forming meaningful relationships with the townswomen who might otherwise have offered her support. but the townsfolk don't know that, and some definitely believe she shares her husband's views.

I realise that's a lot of speculation, and that there are people who sympathise with else, but in the first two acts at least she is definitely not made to feel like a part of the community, and it isn't just physical means that keep her alone. domestic abuse completely isolates the victim from others psychologically as well. lenhardt's prejudices against the townsfolk are one aspect of it, as he constantly reiterates that he and his family are above them and shouldn't mix with 'their kind', which else has to obey in fear of him. but after years of hearing this, it'd be impossible for those prejudices not to leach into else's own worldviews. and knowing how some of the townsfolk view her unfavourably, it makes sense that she'd eventually give in to how lenhardt has been conditioning her to think, by speaking unfavourably about the townsfolk (like eva) in turn. it's a vicious cycle, one that only makes else more and more isolated. which, of course, is what lenhardt wants.

this is why it's so significant that how else ends up in act III hinges on whether andreas affirms her personhood or not. she has to learn to see herself as more than just 'the miller's wife' in order to end up forming meaningful connections with the townsfolk. if she doesn't, she ends up withdrawn and bitter towards everyone else. lenhardt doesn't need to be alive for him to still have influence over her mind. else has to actively work on bettering her psychology after his death to become an involved member of the community, rather than just staying as isolated as she was when lenhardt was still around.

so yeah, idk. to me, that's a very realistic and human way to characterise a victim who has escaped the abusive situation, and I appreciate that the writing doesn't shy away from the uglier parts of what abuse looks like.

I have been changed for good.

This is legit my biggest art thing project thing yet. Thank you @arcanefans4gaza for letting me be a part of your fundraiser. Thank you @razzleyd for your donation and the prompt! I had so much fun planning out a Jayvik Royal AU drawing! I got inspired from early 18th century fashion

Process below if anyone is interested I guess, starting with sloppy thumbnails yay. (My friend and I totally did not take pictures while posing elegantly for references)

No. And you know why? It’s Leonardo fucking Da Vinci, that’s why. Sure his undiagnosed ADHD is hell but I’m used to that. Imagine surpassing your mentor that it is rumored by Vasari that your mentor quit painting all together. Being friends with the Benci family, who you painted a portrait of their daughter in your 20s instead of wasting your 20s sigh, who have connections to the fucking Medici family. I already make more sketches and notes than finished artwork, and legit cannot choose one activity to do so I’m good. Maybe I’ll be rich who knows.

(Disclaimer: I haven’t finished reading Taschen’s Leonardo so idk yet if things go downhill for him or not. Either way, I’m in my “I like Leonardo’s paintings so I got two books abt him” phase.)