DC Secret Santa 2024 Gift For @deven895 :33 

Jason: "I'm sorry I'm late. I was busy with something." Tim: *from the hallway* "HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE DAMN STAIRS." x

Bruce: "I work alone." Jason: "'I WoRk AlOnE' My ass."

Damian and Tim's relationship in a nutshell

Dinner Damian: "Drake, do you want me to Jump across this table? Because I don't have all day for this okay?!"

Tim: "You feelin' froggy? Leap" *Tim stands up waiting for him to actually do it* *Damian is on his last nerve* Damian: "Okay! well here I come"

*fights with Tim*

Jason: "My money is on Damian" Duke: "I'll bet on Tim"

Later Dick: "Stop it!" *enthusiasm noises* Dick: "Love each other!"

*sees them not cooperating* *pushes them together for a hug*

*backfires*

2 hours later Tim, grudgingly hugging Damian because Dick is present: "I'm sorry for being a dick."

Damian, forcibly hugging him and totally not clutching his back with his nails graving his back: "sorry for beating the shit out of you."

In the many rare days of Jason visiting the manor, he pops in and out. One time Duke wanted to go get an errand, so Jason offered to lend a ride.. After errand, Jason goes "Hey kid how bout I teach you how to drive?" Duke: I'm underage man that didn't help, so duke was driving either way, back to the manor a cop pulls up Duke: Oh! Cops! switch. switch. jason: why are you panicking? Duke: Gotham cop sees a black dude driving a white dude's car without no license? I'm gonna be a hashtag by sundown he gets out his phone and leaves it out Jason: The hell you are doing? Duke: I'm not reaching in my pocket in front of a cop, thats the leading cause of death amongst African-american men the cop gets out, duke sees its a black cop from the window Duke: Hold up, wait- Yes! its a black cop jason: Its an emotional roller coaster with you Cop shows up, saying "You've been circling this parking lot for almost an hour, can i see your license?" duke: listen here bruh, i aint got that right now. You know how it is man cop: i aint even trippin' man Jason: Look officer i'm just teaching the kid how to drive cop: then im gonna need to see your license and registiration jason gives his license cop: your license expired 4 months ago jason: ..i'll make a call and get it renewed cop: No your over the age of 20 so you have to go to the DMV and take a driving test he says as he is writing a ticket Jason: what?? cop: and im confiscating your license jason: what?! cop: and im giving you this ticket jason: 250$ dollars?! cop: if you prefer i can impound your car duke: hey let him take the car man its cheaper than the ticket

Babs: Depends on why you want to punch the kid- Looks at Damian Babs: What did little demon junior do this time

Steph, looking at Damian: Babs, would it be wrong to punch a child?

"Malk"

Jason: "Hey Damian, you got anything to drink?"

Damian: "Yeah, in the fridge." Dick: "Hey Jay- Uh- grab me a glass of malk"

Jason: "We don't have any 'malk' but I can get you some milk." Damian: "That's what he just said."

Dick: "Yeah I just want some malk." Jason: "No you're saying it wrong, you're saying 'MALK' like it's a disease."

Damian: "Haha, funny Todd, how do you say it?"

Jason: "I'm saying it the way, everyone ought to say it milk, M I L K."

Damian: "Right like 2 precent."

Dick: "Right whole malk."

Jason: "Nononono, say milkshake"

Dick: "Milkshake"

Jason: "Okay now say milk." Dick: "Malk."

Jason slaps his forehead Jason: "Are you hearing this?"

Damian: "Yeah, the man wants a glass of molk."

Jason: Jason: "Molk?!"

Damian: "Give him the molk Todd!" Bruce outa nowhere: "Damian, inside voices please."

Damian: Sighs "Sorry Father."

Dick: "JAY! POUR ME. A GLASS. OF MALK." Jason: "Why are you yelling at me??" Damian: "Just give him the freakin molk!" Jason: "You guys aren't even saying the same thing!"

Dick: "WE'RE ALL SAYING MALK, JAY." Jason: "No! your saying-"

Damian and Dick: "MaLkkk MaLkkk Malkkk"

Jason, on his last nerves: "..."

Dick: "Moaaaaaaaaaallkkkkkkkkkk" Jason: "SHUT UP"

Dick: ".."

Damian: "." Jason: "JUST SHUT UP"

Jason gets his gun out of his pocket and aims it at his forehead.

Damian: "Put it down, Todd!"

Gets his knife out ready to throw it

Dick proceeds to also get a gun out

Dick: "Don't do it Jay!" Jason: "You're gonna shoot me if I shoot myself?!" Jason: "That doesn't make any sense!"

Damian then aims his knife at his throat, while Dick aims his gun at his forehead.

Dick: "PUT THE GUN DOWN JAY." Damian: "PUT IT DOWN TODD." Jason: "PUT YOUR WEOPENES AWAY!" Jason: "I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF OVER THIS-" Dick: "YOUR LIKE A BROTHER TO ME"

Damian and Jon having a lemonade stand

Tim: "I'll take a lemonade"

Jon: "One lemonade coming right-"

Tim: "No baby, I'm not done"

Tim: "I want 2 cubes of sugar and stir it twice after each cube, use a long spoon not a table spoon I can tell the difference, so don't try me. Water should be at 55.7 degrees and I'll take a splash of mint with a lemon wedge on the side. Thank youuu"

Damian: *just pours him lemonade*

Damian: "That will be 1 dollar and 50 cents"

Tim: "This ain't what I ordered."

Jon: "We know but like it's a lemonade stand not a-"

Damian: "All you can eat buffet?"

Jon: "No that's food"

Damian: "They got drinks too"

Tim: "Look the customers always right, and I'm not paying for this"

Damian: "Ughh-"

jon starts singing

Jon: "Fresh lemonade..freshly squeeze.."

Damian: "Jon-"

Jon: "Pour- it in a cup"

Damian: "Jon stop."

Jon: "Can't get enoughh.."

Damian IS the best robin and deserves all love and attention, yall gotta learn that being a child prodigy assassin is HARSH 😔😔😔🙏🙏

Damian Wayne is the best Robin. Fight with the wall.

Tim: "Statistically speaking, your 2-step plan won't work like my carefully planned 45 ste-"

Jason: "Statistically speaking, you're a dumbass."

Gordon: "I hate to break it to you but I think your wards/team is dumb." Batman: "Dumb kids?" *Batkids doing random shit on another rooftop+choas* Batman: "Wait- Those are my dumb kids!"