Shock Collar Hooked Up To A Neuroactivity Sensor So It Shocks You If You Start To Think Too Hard.

"writing about fucked up things doesnt indicate your values as a person" and "the way you write about things may indicate some of your values" are not conflicting statements if im going to be real

Zweihänder

these two-handed swords are some of favorite swords, such a perfect balance of elegance and power. Really, zweihander's need more attention in the media.

Thoughts on zweihanders?

Zweihänders are SUPER fucking cool! If I had a spare $900 I would totally get one.

A lot of video games and other media actually get them wrong, though. Slamming a sword that big into the ground is gonna really damage the sword, but abruptly stopping something with that much momentum can severely damage your joints and muscles if you aren't careful. You want the sword to only come to a stop when it's either hitting something you want to hit or when stopping its movement won't injure you. The trick, then, is to let the momentum of the sword carry it into this very beautiful flowing cutting pattern where the sword and its wielder are working together.

So, in practice, zweihänder/doppelhänder/montante/spadone looked less like this:

And more like this:

Some fun zweihänder facts:

"Zweihänder" is specifically a German name for this kind of sword. "Montante" was the word for more or less the same kind of sword in Spain, and in Italy they were called "Spadone."

There are some particularly massive swords of this style called "Paradeschwert" that were purely ceremonial. I saw a few at the Chicago Art Institute last time I went that were absolutely enormous.

It wasn't too uncommon for these swords to have wavy "flamberge" blades.

The prongs on the blade are called "parrying hooks."

The Landsknecht mercenaries famously used zweihänders to push past enemy pikes and break front lines.

Aside from Landsknecht, they were also used by bodyguards.

Flamberge zweihänders are still used today by the Papal Swiss Guard for ceremonial purposes.

Whenever an artist who makes dark content gets outed as a sexual predator people will be like 'aha it was obvious something was up because their work was so dark and nasty' and whenever an artist who makes wholesome content gets outed as a sexual predator people will be like 'aha it was obvious something was up because their work was so aggressively wholesome' and it's like you know I think maybe you can't tell whether or not someone is a predator based on their artistic output.

@bovineblogger

animal studies

Honestly I'd say that Elf wine (because they'd primarily brew fruits) is pretty much Ancient Greek wine, but the elves don't need to water it down. All elvish alcohols are made to get elves drunk.

However all dwarvish drinks are (low level) alcoholic beverages. This is because while dwarves are poison resistant, the water in their caves is far beyond poison with all the crap in it. So dwarvish brews include alcoholic versions of: sports drinks, coffee, soda, juice, water, magic potions, and even (occasionally) soups. Though a few dwarven drinks are made to get people drunk.

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

I think it's a common misconception that domesticating animals is somewhat like enslaving them. It really is more of a symbiotic relationship. No wild animal would have willingly put up with early humans if they didn't get something out of it. Wolves wouldn't have stayed with us and become dogs if they weren't getting food and safety out of it. Many large herbivores that are now domesticated could and would have easily trampled their early human captors or broken their enclosures open if they didn't have a reason to stay. Sometimes individual animals still do if we don't give them what they need.

The animals that have stayed with us for thousands of years have evolved to cooperate with us better. Dogs have additional facial muscles around their eyes that wolves lack in order to mimic human facial expressions. Sheep grow their wool perpetually while their wild counterparts don't because a bigger fleece means they're more likely to be allowed to breed and be kept around. Domestic dairy cows produce much more milk than wild bovine species and domestic hens lay more eggs. Do you know how energy costly producing eggs or milk is for an animal? It's pretty intense! They wouldn't be able to do that if we hadn't given them the food and safety from predators and the elements to.

And we really need to show these animals respect and gratitude for what they give us by taking excellent care of them. They gave up a lot to be with us, often including the means to take care of themselves in the wild. That's a huge reason why I'm not against using animal products, but I hate factory farming. They are still living, breathing creatures with needs and feelings. They deserve a comfortable life and, when the time comes, a humane death.

For any relocated TikTok users

you can say sex and kill its fine

If you don't have a profile picture people will assume you're a bot

theres barely an algorithm, if you want to see cool shit reblog things instead of just liking them

follower count doesnt matter

tumblr fame gets you one thing and it is Yelled At

no one knows what the fuck the nsfw policy is

block anyone that annoys you even a little bit

And most importantly:

post cringe

As someone who's been a lover of traditional folk music from the British Isles for several decades, one thing I've learned is that "True Love" didn't always mean what you think it means. In the older songs, "true love" is not some mystical quality, some type of connection that is magically better than other Loves. No. A love that is "true" merely means that your Love is "true TO YOU." "True" as in faithful and loyal and trustworthy. A lover who will stand by you and with you no matter what comes. True the way a good sword is True. True the way a good knight is loyal. The contrast is "False Love," which is a lover who betrays you, who cannot be trusted.

"True Love" isn't something you find, it's a vow and a choice that you make, every day, to BE TRUE.

Don’t mind me, just taking a fictional monster way more seriously than the themes intended~

Zoh Shia’s HR cutscene particularly was both disturbing and beautiful for me. This horribly disfigured and warped thing falling from its egg and dragging its head along the ground as it crawls forward, weak and coming to its senses.

Then its armor binds to it, covering over and masking its imperfections. Screen pans back post transformation and that disfigured crawling thing stands powerfully on its hind legs, now resembling and angel and exuding power and magnificence in its stance.