( If You Can Dream It, You Can Do It )

I love jang wonyoung

Parking Lot Phase

Based on the songs Circa 2015 and Rainbow Bap by Jaden Smith

Pairing: badboy!jisung x Reader

Genre: smut, fluff, angst

Au/Tropes: high school, strangers to lovers

Word Count: 12.5K

Warnings: swearing, jealous Jisung, car sex (kind of), dom jisung?, reckless driving,

a/n: this took me months to write because i kept forgetting about it. The ending was really rushed and i may or may not rewrite it. Its also not proof read so forgive me

As cliche as it is, Jisung was the boy that every adult figure in your life told you to stay away from.

Your Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Teachers, hell even the bus drivers.

Every day he dressed head to toe in black, the only color being a few pops of red stitched into his leather jacket.

Every single girl in your high school class wanted him and he knew it.

He always teased the girls with long looks and a sweet smile from across the hallway, luring them into him.

Needless to say those same girls were usually found crying in a bathroom stall two weeks later.

Jisung, however, went on with his life, laughing and smiling with his friends like he hadn’t just ruined some poor girl’s self esteem.

Jisung usually hung out with a group of seniors,

Renjun, Jaemin, Donghyuck, and Jeno.

They all dressed and acted the same way...

Like dicks.

However, you assumed they weren’t that bad since your best friend Chenle was often found prancing around with them.

Chenle stuck out like a sore thumb around those boys as he opted for casual streetwear.

Although Chenle usually spent his school hours with the boys, he always made sure to eat lunch with you.

He didn’t want you to feel left out, you were his childhood best friend after all.

He was never going to leave you.

However, he was seriously contemplating it as he stands in front of you with furrowed eyebrows and a slacked jaw.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Chenle questions carefully.

Jisung had just been gifted his first car by his parents yesterday and all of Chenle’s friends were going out off campus for lunch.

They were begging him to tag along but Chenle refused to leave you alone.

His friends agreed to let you come along too.

But Chenle didn't think for a second that you would decline.

“Lele, I'm not getting in a car with a bunch of random ass guys just so you don’t have to feel guilty.” You told your best friend.

You look over Chenle’s shoulder, noticing Jisung along with the rest of his clique were waiting impatiently by the school entrance.

Jisung coolly swung his car keys around his pointer finger with a bored look painted on his face.

“Random guys? They’re our classmates, y/n.”

“Still strangers to me.”

Chenle sighs, throwing his arms up in frustration

“It’s fine, Chenle, go hang out with your friends and I will stay here and eat my lunch. “ You smile tightly at him. “Alone.”

Chenle scoffed, fully knowing that your statement actually means ‘go hang out with your friends but if you do I wont speak to you for a whole week’

The two you had been in so many petty arguments before; He knows better.

You slam your locker door, preparing to turn away from him until a voice called out to the two of you.

“Hey,” Jisung says from down the hall. “Meet us outside whenever you’re done with....whatever”

The rest of the boys surrounding him nodded along and quickly followed him out of the door.

Chenle took this time to wrap his arms around your shoulders and pull you into a tight hold.

“Y/n, please, I will do anything. This is a brand new Maserati we are talking about here,” Your best friend pleads.

You contemplate for a second.

“Maserati?” You raise an eyebrow.

Chenle nods his head frantically.

“You should’ve started off with saying it was a Maserati.”

“Don’t tell me you’re agreeing to come because its a Maserati.”

You shrug and link your arm with Chenle’s.

“I didn’t take you for the gold digger type”

“I’m just a sucker for sports cars.”

You smile and watch as a wide grin spreads against your best friend's face.

“I’m so glad you’re coming because i don’t think i would have been able to handle you not talking to me for another three weeks.”

You scoff softly, “so you were actually going to leave me”

“Its a Maserati, babe,” Chenle says, leading you to the school’s parking lot.

You weren’t going to lie,

The closer you inched to Jisung’s car the more nervous you got.

Chenle could sense this and squeezed your arm softly.

Finally the the two of you stood in awe next to the sleek black Maserati.

The windows were tinted so dark that you couldn’t see anything inside.

So it shocked you a little when the back door was pushed open from the inside, nearly hitting you in the leg.

The boy you know as Jaemin, pops his head out of the door with a bright smile adorning his face.

“I was hoping you’d say yes,” The boy says out of context.

The comment kind of startled you, you weren’t expecting to have to interact with them so soon.

You were hoping they’d just ignore your presence and do what they usually do.

Without letting you question him, Jaemin slides back into the car.

You notice the lack of space in the back seat.

Looking up at Chenle, you ask him where would you sit.

Once he gets in, the backseat will be full, leaving you with nowhere to sit.

Jeno and Jaemin hastily offer you a place on their laps but you not-so politely decline.

Instead you sit down into the seat that originally was supposed to be Chenle’s before pulling your best friend into your own lap.

He complains the entire time but you refused to be the person to sit on anyone’s lap.

With Jaemin next you, he uses his charming smile to convince you to rethink your choice for the ride back.

"Don't pretend like you don't want to," He says barley above a whisper.

But not low enough to where Chenle couldn't hear it. "I can hear you, Jaemin."

The ride is surprisingly fun, everyone seems to chat with you easily including renjun who was seated in the passenger seat

The only person who didn’t speak to you much was Jisung.

But it was fine you enjoyed the attention that renjun, jeno, Donghyuck, and jaemin were feeding you

Soon enough, you guys were parked at a local diner.

The boys rushed out of the car before Jisung could even come to a complete stop.

Chenle whines as donghyuck and Jaemin quickly place themselves at your side.

Jaemin threw his arm around your waist while Hyuck’s arm rested around your shoulders.

“How can someone so pretty be friends with Chenle,” Jaemin joked

“I was wondering the same thing,” piped Jeno

Renjun laughs. “I think we all-“

You didn’t even notice the smile that was stretching to each side of your face or the giggly feeling that rested below your belly.

Chenle had been the only friend you ever really had.

So being around so many people who clearly enjoyed your presence, filled you with so much joy.

You kind of felt guilty for all of the assumptions you had previously made about them.

Entering the diner, the boys headed for the largest booth in the the back.

You were sandwiched between Jeno and Renjun with Jaemin and Chenle across from you and Donghyuck and Jisung on the ends.

Jisung still hadn’t spoken a word to you.

You nearly let it get to you, but you were quickly taken out of your thoughts as Jeno started pointing out the best items on the menu.

He had somehow convinced you to try something called the ‘Gut buster’.

It was the largest breakfast burrito you had seen in your life, but also the tastiest.

Renjun had spent his time, spoon feeding you deserts and asking you to rate them.

He held his hand underneath your chin and guided a spoon that's over flowing with chocolate desert. "Open up."

You were definitely going to be sick from all of the sugar he had you inhale.

“This is basically just Y/N being on a date with five guys,” Chenle seethed as he watched the boys interact with you.

You open your mouth to protest but you’re immediately cut off by Hyuck.

He grabs your hand across the table, squishing Chenle against Jaemin in the process.

“No she’s just on a date with me, right babe?”

You try to stutter response as the boy rubs his soft finger over your knuckles but everyone beats you to it.

They argue loudly about whose the better ‘date’ which only ends in you guys getting ugly looks from everyone else in the diner.

You tried to hush them and tell them they were too loud, but with Jeno yelling in your ear and Chenle trying to pry hyuck’s hands off your own, your voice got washed out in the madness.

“Don’t you kids have class?” One of the waitresses shouted at you from across the counter.

All of you scramble for your phone to check the time.

“Shit,” Jisung curses, standing to his feet.

The 7 of you realize that you’re super late for class. (20 minutes late to be exact.)

You guys quickly finish what ever you have left and pay for your food

You tried to pay for you own but Renjun quickly pushed your hands down and pulled a few crisp bills from his wallet

“You never pay for my food,” Chenle pouts

Renjun only stuffs his wallet back into his pocket. “Pretty privilege I guess,”

You guys move as fast as possible, all scrambling to find a seat in the car.

Chenle got booted from the back seat and was forced to take the front as Renjun found his way to the back.

This time around you found yourself perched on Jaemin’s lap, while your legs laid haphazardly across Jeno’s.

Throaty laughter and giggles could be heard from the backseat as Jisung sped through lanes of traffic.

The boys notice this and make comments on his reckless driving.

You notice him rolling his eyes but what you don’t notice is how Jisung stares at you through the rear view mirror every time he gets a chance.

When you get back to school it’s drizzling so you all scurry inside.

You guys are a little over 30 minutes late to your class but you don’t mind that at all.

You were just happy that your class wasn’t too far from the entrance.

Chenle, however, had class on the other side of campus so he left the group with a ‘see you guys later’

Renjun was right behind him.

Jeno, Jaemin, and donghyuck parted as their classrooms came into sight.

By the time you got to your class room, Jisung was the only one left walking with you.

It was silent between the two of you.

“Thank you,” was all you could think to say.

He looked down at you, eyes grazing over your pretty face

“For what?”

You didn’t think this through.

You shuffle on your feet. “For letting me hang out with you guys, i guess.”

“And for walking me to class.”

He chuckles, showing off his smile for the first time that day.

“Technically I’m not walking you to class. My class is this way too.”

You roll your eyes playfully, “Then thank you for letting me hang out with you guys.”

“Of course, I loved being a 7th wheel.”

“Oh really?” You say, cocking your head to the side. “You didn’t deny being on a date with me earlier,”

“I didn’t speak to you the entire time,”

“I never said you were a good date.”

The two of you laugh softly before the air between you suddenly became quiet again.

“Well,” you start, “this is my stop, hopefully we can hang out again sometime.”

Jisung nods, “Right, yeah, maybe so.”

He scratches the back of his neck and rocks softly on his heels

You take note of his stance, finding it cute in a way.

Not knowing what to say next, you push open the door to your classroom, bidding Jisung goodbye with a small wave

Once you’re out of sight Jisung visibly relaxes

“Right, yeah, maybe so?” He mocks, repeating his earlier response to you. “What the fuck was that,”

Jisung had been trying to find a way to talk to you all day, but he didn’t want to come off like his friends.

Unlike them, he had actually known who you were before Chenle mentioned you.

The two of you had one or two classes together and he often found himself staring at you when he became bored with the lesson.

It was no doubt that you were beautiful and he found it interesting how you made no effort to make any friends or branch out.

He thought you were just shy but after today he could tell that you were far from shy.

Jisung had been wanting to approach you for so long but he wasn’t sure how to, with Chenle always clinging to you.

He let out a deep sigh and shook his head clear of any thoughts concerning you as he laid eyes on his classroom.

Its needless to say that each one of you got scolded for being late.

You luckily escaped with no punishment.

However others were not so lucky

Others including Jeno, Chenle, And Donghyuck.

They all got after school detention.

Usually Chenle walks home with you after school but with him gone, it was just you.

The drizzle from earlier had turned into a full on storm. Lightening broke out across the sky and was soon followed by a loud rumble of thunder that resulted in shrieks from some of your fellow female classmates.

You sigh.

You could have probably gotten Chenle to call his parents to pick you guys up, but he was stuck in a class room, probably apologizing to said parents through a text message for getting detention.

Your dad wouldn’t be able to leave work to pick you up.

You were just screwed.

You stood idly by the school’s front doors, watching as the rain padded hard against concrete.

Students dashed for their cars, shielding themselves from the rain with anything they had.

These were the times where you wish you knew how to drive.

“You aren’t planning on walking in that, are you?” A voice calls from behind you.

You see Jisung’s reflection in the window of the entrance. “I did for a second,” You turn around to face him. “But now that you’re here, I think my prayers may have just been answered.”

Jisung smirks, shifting onto his right leg. “I wasn’t offering you a ride,”

“Don’t make me beg.” You pout, tilting your head.

He rolls his eyes. “Come on, Let’s go,”

You watch as Jisung shrugs off his infamous leather jacket and holds it over the two of you as a shield.

As soon as he opens the door, he breaks out into a sprint with his hand pressed to your upper back.

If you weren’t so focused on not slipping you would have been overthinking his gesture.

Jisung used his key pad to unlock his car door and quickly opened the passenger side door for you to slip into before running to get into the drivers side.

He plops down inside of the car, throwing his jacket to the back seat and ruffling his slightly wet hair

Your eyes raked over him, finding the wet hair look attractive on him.

He leans back into his seat, lolling his head to the side to meet your gaze.

“Staring now, are we?”

You scoff.

Yes

“No, I’m waiting for you to start the car up because I’m wet and freezing”

With a cocky smirk on his face, Jisung cranks up his car and begins to pull out of the parking lot.

The rain is visibly becoming heavier and you are slightly worried if Jisung would be able to drive in it.

“Am I just supposed to guess where you live?”

You roll your eyes, “I live a little past the diner we went to earlier,”

“Great, I was heading that way anyway.”

The ride was quiet, nothing but the sounds of heavy rain pounding down on the vehicle

It seemed like the further you guys drove, the heavier the rain got.

“Can you even see.” You ask the boy.

“No, actually”

You stare at him in disbelief. “Why didn’t you say anything.”

“I was trying to look cool, like i knew what i was doing.” He jokes.

“Pull over somewhere. Let’s just wait until the rain calms down some.”

“The diner should be coming up soon, we’ll pull in there.” He says while nodding his head.

You agree with him and relax into your seat.

Your eyes constantly flicker over to Jisung’s frame.

You couldn’t deny just how attractive he was.

You wanted to be mad at yourself for being in the position you said you’d never be in, but you couldn’t.

Not when jisung was here, left hand gripping the stirring wheel while the other toyed with his bottom lip.

‘Any girl would be going haywire with a sight like that’ is what you tell yourself.

Jisung pulls into the deserted diner parking lot, parking fairly well to say he couldn’t tell where the parking spaces were.

Shutting off his car, he leans back into his seat and uses his hand to push his hair back from his forehead.

It took everything in your being not to stare at him.

Goosebumps started to form on your arms.

“I’m cold,” You told him, rubbing your hands together

“That’s too bad,” He started, tilting his head towards you. “I’m hot.”

Indeed

You roll your eyes and turn away from him with an obvious grimace on your face. You did this whenever you weren’t getting your way with Chenle and he usually gave in after a few seconds. You were hoping it would work with the boy on side of you.

Jisung, however, just scoffed before reaching into the backseat.

Suddenly something that was rubbery and wet was thrown into your lap.

It was Jisung’s jacket that he used to shield the two of you at school.

“This is wet,” You complain before throwing the jacket back at him.

He throws the jacket back at you. “Beggars can’t be choosers,”

“It’s going to make me colder than I already am.”

“The inside isn’t wet. Just put it on before i take it back.”

You hesitate for a second before ultimately deciding to put it on. “Only because I’m cold.”

“I think it’s just because you wanted to wear my jacket.” He jokes.

“Please, this thing fucking smells.”

It didn’t

“Then take it off,” Jisung says, reaching for the sleeve of said jacket.

You move your arm away from him. “No, you just basically begged me to wear it and now you’re trying take it away. Make up your mind.”

“Begged you?”

“Begged me.”

He shakes his head at you, shoulders jumping as a soft laugh ripped through him.

“You’re annoying,” He teased

“You’re no better.”

A smile plays at the corner of your lips as you look out of the window, enjoying the sight of the rain.

“This rain really isn’t letting up at all, huh,” Jisung says, kissing his teeth.

“Doesn’t look like it, but i don’t mind.”

“You like the rain?” He asks

You hum.

“Why?”

“I dont know i just do. Why do you not like the rain?”

He ponders for a second. “It makes everything too gloomy, for my taste.”

“Gloomy can be pretty though.”

“You can’t do anything in the rain.”

“Thats not true. You can do a lot of things. Its a perfect time to catch up on sleep, listen to your favorite songs, watch your favorite shows, eat your favorite food, have ice cream-“

“So the rain is an excuse to be lazy.”

You give him a blank stare before turning your head back to the window. “No its an excuse to chill and take part the activities that make you happy.”

Jisung hums and nods. “I think I understand what you mean.”

He’s quiet for a second or two. “One of the things you mentioned—eating your favorite food and having ice cream.”

“Yeah,”

“Well, this diner has a drive thru.”

You smile at him, understanding what he he was suggesting.

Jisung pulls out of the parking spot he was in and makes way toward the drive thru.

The two of you both try something new on the menu and pair it with a milkshake and fries just in case you hated what you ordered.

While the two of you ate, you chatted about cars, school, your friends, and just about any random topic you could come up with.

You didn’t expect to laugh so much, especially with jisung since he didnt speak a single word to you earlier.

You guys stayed in the parking lot until nightfall with full bellies and drooping eyes.

The rain had lightened up two hours before but the two of you were to caught up to realize.

“It’s going on 8:00, I think we are good to go.” He told you, beginning to pick up the remaining trash you guys had from your food.

You couldn’t deny the tinge of sadness you felt, knowing that your day with jisung was coming to an end.

The ride to your place was fairly short. Jisung knew the exact route to your house, considering the fact that he also lived in the same neighborhood.

Your neighborhood was fairly large and had multiple streets so it wasn’t surprising that the two of you hadn’t crossed paths.

“Try not to look so sad,” he teased as he opened your door to let you out of his car.

“In your dreams, Park, I’m ecstatic to finally be home.”

The two of you walk side by side towards your doorstep, not uttering a single word until you were finally face to face with your front door.

“So I checked the weather and i saw that it’s supposed to rain for the rest of the week.” The boy says as you began to strip from his jacket.

You raise an eyebrow at him, signaling him to continue.

“So maybe you could ride with me after school for the week until it clears up.”

It was obvious that he had been working up the courage to ask you that, as he began to rock on his heels like he did once before at school.

“Just say that you want to hang out with me again, Jisung,” You tease, leaning in and pressing his jacket to his chest.

He smiles, casting his eyes away from you an towards the empty street. “Maybe...”

“Say it.”

He rolls his eyes before taking his jacket from you and guiding you towards your door. “Don’t be annoying, go inside.”

“Fine.” You laugh, pushing your front door open, “Goodnight, Jisungg,”

The boy waved you goodnight and then made a dash for his car. As you closed the door you could hear the sound of Jisung and his expensive car speeding off into the night.

Chenle didnt let a second pass before he was ringing your phone. He had been peeking out of his bedroom window, where he had an amazing view of your front yard.

You hesitated to answer your phone, knowing well what he was calling about

“Hello?”

“UM,HELLO? DID I JUST SEE YOU GET OUT OF THE CAR WITH PARK JISUNG?!”

you roll your eyes and quickly skip up to your bedroom before pulling open your curtains. From across the street you can see Chenle, standing in a similar position.

Phone pressed against his ear, he puts his hand on his hip. “Do you know how worried I was. I thought you got kidnapped on the way home.”

“What made you think i was kidnapped.”

“I sent you 1000 messages and when i got no response, i tried to knocking on your door and still got nothing. I’ve been watching your front yard for hours now; I was two minutes away from calling the cops, Y/N.”

“Instead of asking anyone if they had seen me?”

“I did, I asked Renjun and Jaemin, thinking they may have walked you home but they said they hadn’t seen you and that they left with sungchan.”

“You’re cute when you worry, lele.” You watch as your best friend frowns and closes his dark blue curtains. You giggle. “Come over, I’ll make you dinner and tell you all about what happened while i was with Jisung.”

He peeks through the curtains. “What kind of dinner.”

“Whatever you want,”

“Fine, give me a second, to take a shower. Im spending the night,”

Before you could protest, the boy hangs up and closes his curtains completely.

30 minutes later, Chenle was walking into your house with an overnight bag slung across his shoulder.

You kept your promise to him and made him exactly what he wanted. Which happened to be a weird pasta recipe that he found on tiktok.

Following the recipe wasn’t hard for you at all considering you often had to cook for yourself due to your dad’s work schedule.

While you and chenle feasted on the pasta, you told him all about your day with Jisung

Patting his full belly Chenle began to speak. “So do you like him?”

You open your mouth to say ‘no’ but for some reason the words never come out. You can’t like Jisung, you only known him for a couple of hours.

However, in those few hours, he had proven to be the complete opposite of your assumptions.

“Well do you?” Chenle questions again

“N-no.” You shake your head and reach for your drink that sat on the coffee table.

Your best friend stares at you for a split second, searching you for a sign of uncertainty.

And boy did he find too many signs.

“Well,” He starts off, “If you did like Jisung. I would tell you that it isn’t smart to get involved with him.”

“And why not?”

“We all know why, Y/N.”

the two of you stare at each other and you’re the first to look away.

“Thought he was your friend,” You grumble.

“He is, but you’re like a sister to me. And believe it or not, I actually care about your feelings.” The boy says, grabbing a hold of your free hand.

You roll your head to the side, a smirk playing on your lips. “Just kiss me already Chenle.”

“funny,” He chuckles. “But don’t say it again, I almost threw up.”

You roll eyes. “Let’s clean up and head to bed; I have an exam tomorrow,”

The boy nods and begins to follow your lead in cleaning.

The next morning, you and Chenle are awoken by the sound of your father’s voice.

“Zhong, I thought I told you five years ago to stop sleeping in my daughter’s bed,” The smile, he was wearing could be heard as he spoke.

Both you and Chenle groan and shield your eyes from the sun that was pouring in through your window

“I could chastise you some more,” your dad continues, “but I think I have other things to worry about. Like the boy that's wearing a leather jacket, driving a badass Maserati, and asking for my sweet child.”

Your head perks up immediately. “Jisung’s here?”

“Is that his name?”

You don’t listen to the rest of your dad’s morning banter and hop out of bed quicker than you ever had before.

“Chenle, get up, get up, get up.” You tell your friend, pulling him up by his arm as you gather your outfit for the day.

You quickly brush your hair and teeth before heading down stairs with none of your school supplies with you.

Thankfully, Chenle was trailing right behind you with your backpack slung over his shoulder.

When you make it outside, you catch sight of Jisung and your dad standing next to each other.

You couldn’t tell what they were saying but from the way they were staring at Jisung’s car, you could tell that it was the topic of their conversation.

Jisung looks up as he hears you approaching, a smile still planted on his face until he catches sight of Chenle.

He tried not to let his smile falter but he had failed miserably. He can only hope you didn’t notice it.

You did.

“You didn’t say you were coming by this morning,” You say and Jisung steps toward you.

“Well you didn’t exactly give me your number or anything last night.”

“Um last night?” Your dad pipes.

“Yeah, Jisung brought be home yesterday since it was raining.”

Your dad doesn’t say anything but you can tell he’s impressed with Jisung.

“Well I’ll let you guys get to school,” Your dad says, “I assume I’ll see you again this afternoon, Jisung.”

The three you get into the car and head to school.

Chenle fell asleep in the backseat, leaving you and Jisung to your own devices.

He made small talk with you, telling you how your dad made him nervous upon first sight.

“I thought I was at the wrong house,” He had told you.

He nearly asked you why chenle was there but he decided against it.

Once you you got to school, you met up with the rest of Jisung’s friends.

All 7 of you hung out before the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the first class of the day.

The day went by slow, the only entertainment being your lunch period.

Today the rain had started a little bit before lunch so the boys stayed in the cafeteria with you.

Instead of eating the school lunch, they raided the vending machines that were stationed in the corners.

The 7 of you got weird stares due to the chaotic nature of the group. You were definitely the loudest table in the building.

You tried not to notice how close jisung was to you the entire time.

His shoulder was practically pressed against yours.

You weren’t the only one who noticed though.

After lunch, jisung walked you to class, much like he did the day before. The only difference was that it wasn’t awkward between the two of you at all.

When it was time for dismissal, you found him waiting for you next to the door.

He already had his jacket off, ready to shield the two of you from the weather.

When you asked about the other boys, he said they had sports practice and that chenle called his parents.

In reality, Jisung told the boys they couldn’t ride him so he could be alone with you. They complained and rolled their eyes but let Jisung be and found themselves bothering Sungchan instead.

He didn’t miss how Chenle seemed to be genuinely annoyed.

He couldn’t find it in himself to care though.

The ride went just as it did the day before.

The two of you pulled into the diner and grabbed some food before munching down on it while having a conversation.

You learned a few things about him.

His favorite color is green.

He has two older brothers and a little sister.

He has a cat named Christmas (named by his little sister)

He hates the corn dogs from the diner.

He makes good grades.

He wants to paint his nails but doesn’t know how and doesn’t want to go to a nail tech to get them done.

And more little things like that.

You guys chatted until 8:30 before Jisung brought you home. This time he remembered to get your number.

The next three days were the same thing.

He picks you up for school that morning, You have lunch with the boys, he walks you to class, he waits on you after class, it rains, he drives the two of you to the diner, you get food, chat in the parking lot, and then he takes you home.

Every night you walk into your house with a goofy smile on your face that Chenle definitely teases you about.

“That’s not very ‘I don’t like Jisung’ of you,” He would say through the phone.

He was right.

Even though you hated to be that girl. You couldn’t help but to fall for Jisung’s charms.

When the two of you are alone, he never fails to make you a bumbling mess when he compliments you, or twirls a strand of your hair around his finger.

Not to mention the way he stares at you when you’re speaking.

“Stop staring, weirdo,” Is what you would tell him before breaking eye contact.

A smirk would slowly etch into his face before he responds with. “I can’t,”

For the weekend, you invite Chenle over since he was complaining about not being able to see you all week.

You arranged a movie night for the two of you.

Chenle brought all kinds of snacks and drinks with him, and wore his pajama set that also matched yours.

With snacks sprawled all over your bed, you and Chenle climb under your blankets and immediately indulge in the sweets as Percy Jackson begins to play by on the tv.

Chenle couldn’t help to notice how you had left your phone sitting in your lap, instead of on your dresser like you always did during movie night.

Not even two minutes later, he realized why.

Your phone lit up every other minute and you didn’t waste a second before picking it up and typing a response to the person messaging you.

Chenle rolled his eyes and shook his head.

This went on for 30 minutes before Chenle found himself reaching for the remote and pausing the movie.

You almost didn’t notice the lack of sound in the room as your fingers quickly typed up a reply to Jisung, but with Chenle’s hard glare on you, you couldn’t help but to notice.

“What?” You ask, slowly bringing your phone down to your lap.

“Who are you texting? They must be pretty damn important to be interrupting movie night for.”

You scoff. “Chenle, we’ve seen this movie a thousand times.”

“That’s not the point.” He says, a look of annoyance written clear as day on his face.

You can tell that he’s genuinely upset as your best friend moves to sit up straighter.

“This was supposed to be our night, but instead you’re here texting Jisung, The person you’ve been ignoring me for all week.”

“Chenle...” You say softly.

“I get it, you like him,” He starts, focusing his attention on the Twix wrapper in front of him. “But I was here first. I’m your best friend and I won’t let you push me aside to become some lame background character in you and Jisung’s weird ‘strangers to lovers’ love story,”

“Is that what this is about?”

“Yes! It’s exactly what this is about. It’s like I never see you anymore and I hate it,”

You sigh and sit your phone down on your bedside table before wrapping your arms around Chenle. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize just how much Jisung and I had been hanging out. I promise to make more time for you.” You tell him. “Starting now, I’ll turn off my phone and you and I will start this movie from the beginning and pretend Jisung doesn’t even exist.”

You feel him chuckle beneath you. “You don’t have to go that far. I know you’ve been dying to tell me all about these little rendezvous you and Jisung have been having.” He looks up at you. “I’m all ears.”

For the rest of the night, your phone was disregarded and the two of you chatted, mostly about you and Jisung but also about Chenle and the things going on in his life.

Needless to say, the two of you had a better understanding of each other and their feelings.

Chenle spent another night at your house and went home Sunday evening

Monday morning, Jisung was at your house bright and early. Your dad welcomed him inside and let him wait in the kitchen for you.

Once you were done getting dressed, you and Jisung headed off to school.

You didn’t say much because you were tired but that didn’t stop Jisung from asking you why you suddenly disappeared for most of the weekend.

“Why? Were you worried about me Park Jisung?” You tease.

He doesn’t look at you, and instead keeps his eyes trained on the road.

He was waiting on an answer.

You roll your eyes before resting your head on the window. “I was with Chenle.”

“Hm. Chenle.”

You don’t notice how his hand ever so slightly tightens on the wheel or how he just barely pressed his foot down harder on the gas.

He doesn’t bring it up again and neither do you.

Once you get to school its the same old same old. Except you and Jisung spend lunch alone in his car, Feasting on vending machine snacks.

The two of you sit in his back seat, facing each other, with stupid smiles on your face.

“You know I’ve never been in my own backseat before. It looks weird back here,” He says, looking around his backseat in disgust.

You pop a piece of chocolate into your mouth, letting it melt in your cheek before speaking up. “Don’t be mean to Trixy. Everything about this her is beautiful.” You say while petting the seats of the car.

Jisung grimaces. “You named my car Trixy?”

“Yes, Trixy is a sexy name and this is a sexy car.”

He scoffs. “Not sexy enough. Im thinking about having my dad redo parts of the interior. I’m thinking green.” He says leaning back.

“No, do red.”

He shakes his head. “That’s tacky,”

“You never like any of my ideas,” You whine.

“Maybe if they were good ideas.” A chuckle glides through his lips as he looks over at you.

You’re rolling your eyes at him before placing a gummy candy into your mouth.

Jisung doesn’t say anything and only watches as you tilt your head back and let out a soft hum in satisfactory.

“I’m not sure which one I like better, chocolate or gummies.”

Jisung isn’t sure what he’s thinking of or what happens in the next few seconds, but as you bring your eyes to meet his, he finds himself pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

You’re not shocked by the kiss at all. Whether Jisung knew it or not, most of his attention was on your lips. They were the focal point of his line of vision.

He must have started to come to his senses because you could feel him starting to pull away from you.

You knew he would start apologizing right away, and although flustered Jisung would be a hilarious sight to see; you had finally gotten a taste of him and you didn’t want it to end.

Before he could utter a word, you tangle your fingers in his dark hair and push your lips back against his.

He deepens the kiss, not asking for permission as he lets his tongue push past your plushy lips.

The kiss was definitely sloppy but something was telling you that Jisung liked it that way.

He moans into your mouth and allows his hand to rest on your thigh.

Jisung thanks god that you were wearing a skirt. He used this opportunity to push his hand further up your leg until your skirt had risen up and his hand was placed firmly on your waist.

You could feel him slowly pushing you back until your back rested against the car door and your head was up against his window.

Your legs were split and resting on either side of the boy.

You felt a little embarrassed to have Jisung pressed against your middle but he was clearly enjoying himself as he softly rocked his hips against you.

He hands trail back down your thighs to grip the meat of them.

The kiss got rougher.

Jisung bites and licks at your lips, not letting you dominate him for a single second.

You whimper underneath him, feeling yourself shrink down further into the door.

You can’t help how your hips subconsciously buck against the bulge that was forming his pants.

He finally pulls away from you, but only so the two of you could catch your breath. He chuckles darkly as he stares down at you.

His finger traces shapes on your thigh and he begins to trail them to your inner thigh.

Your heart hammered against your chest as Jisung’s finger finally made it to where you wanted it most.

“Jisung,” you moaned out as he presses a finger to your clothed clit.

He bites his lip at the sight of your eyes fluttering shut in pleasure. He presses down harder on the tiny bud, giving it a few more rubs.

“You’re so wet for me, baby,” Jisung coos.

Your hands grip his jacket. “Touch me, Jisung.”

“I am touching you, Aren’t I?” He teases with a knowing smile. “You want more?”

You nod your head. “Yes,”

“Hm?” He says, pretending he didn’t catch what you said.

“Yes, Jisung.”

He chuckles before swiftly moving your panties aside and pressing two cold digits to your sensitive clit.

You choke on your breath for a second as he circles his fingers skillfully before relaxing under his touch.

You whimper, moan, and whither around underneath Jisung but he doesn’t let up.

“You wanted it so bad,” he growls in your ear. “Take it,”

He nips at your jaw as you throw your head back, making sure to leave a bright bruise in his wake.

The way you moan his name only fuels him.

“You want more, princess?” He whispers into your ear.

You can’t form an answer but with the way Jisung’s finger began to tease your hole, you knew he had already made up his mind.

However, before Jisung could go any further, the sound of a fist wrapping against glass broke the two of you up.

Jisung yanked his hands away from you and looked towards the direction the sound came from.

Outside of the drivers side window stood Jeno.

For a second, Jisung’s heart had dropped to his ass, thinking Jeno had saw everything the two of you were doing, but then he remembered the dark tint of his windows kept anyone from being able to look inside of the car.

He sighs before pulling away from you.

You quickly fix your skirt and stay silent as you watch Jisung.

He rolls the back window down, only enough to where his eyes and nose were visible.

“What do you want?” He asks Jeno, trying his best not to sound annoyed.

“Why are you in the back seat?” Jeno immediately asks.

“Y/N and I were eating back here,”

“Ah, why are you only cracking the window down to your nose?”

“Why are you asking me so many questions?” Jisung snaps. “Did you come out here for a reason?”

You can hear jeno click his tongue.

“Yes,” the older boy says. “Class starts in about two seconds,”

“We’re coming. Don’t wait up,” Jisung says quickly before rolling the window back up.

You could see the confusion on Jeno’s face through the window.

“Way to not be suspicious,” You tease.

“Whatever,” Jisung grumbles before pulling you into a kiss.

The kiss is slow and gentle and only last for a couple of seconds before Jisung is pulling away.

His thumb traces over your cheekbone. “I wasn’t too rough earlier, was I?” He asks softly. “I can get a little carried away sometimes,”

You smile up at him. “You definitely surprised me,” you say, causing his face to heat up. “But I liked it.”

“Maybe we can finish up later,” He whispers before kissing you one more time. “As of now, we need to get to class.”

The two of you exit Jisung’s car, leaving all of your trash from lunch still sitting on his seat.

You fumble with your skirt, smoothing it out and making sure that it didn’t look too out of place.

“Stop doing that, it looks fine,” he tells you before reaching for your hand.

Your eyes lock on your intertwined fingers.

Jisung had never been the type for any kind of pda. Whether it was as simple as holding your hand or fidgeting with your fingers.

He seemed to notice you staring. “Are you okay with this?” He asks in a soft voice.

You look up at him and tilt your head. “Yeah…it’s just, you never do stuff like this. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this,” You say, gesturing to your hands. “I’m perfectly fine with what we were doing before.”

Jisung stops walking and turns to face you with his had still wrapped firmly around yours. He didn’t look at you, instead he looked at his feet and let his hair shield his eyes.

“I really care about you, Y/N. Like a lot.” He starts, “And for you I’m willing to step out of my comfort so that everyone else can know.”

Seeing Jisung like this was too overwhelming for you. Your heart ached and you wanted nothing more than to take him into your arms and hug the life out of him.

However, instead you settled for a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Let’s get to class.” You tell him, squeezing his hand.

He smiles at you before guiding you into to school.

After that day, you and Jisung began spending more and more time alone.

Before school, During school, after school, even at your house.

Your level of intimacy only progressed.

Jisung often kept his hand resting on your inner thigh or knee while he drove.

He would pull you away from classes just to make out with you in an empty class room.

Not to mention, the antics he got into during lunch.

The two of you hardly ever got to eat as Jisung usually opted for bringing you to a release with his tongue during that time.

You hadn’t told chenle what you and jisung had been up to lately, but it wasn’t hard for him to guess.

It was difficult to miss how swollen and red your lips were after lunch. Or how Jisung’s car seemed to always be parked in your yard.

Chenle didn’t have to ask what the two of you were up to.

You would tell him when you were ready.

And you did, eventually.

It was a normal day for you,but instead of leaving with Jisung like you usually would, you told Jisung that you’d be walking home with Chenle.

He pouted and tried to convince you otherwise but after you explained how long it had been since either of you hung out with your friends without one another, he gave in.

You were right, Jisung couldn’t recall the last time he had hung out with his friends, save for the late night gaming sessions.

He took his time to invite them out. They asked if you were coming too.

Jisung expected them to jump with joy when he told them no but instead the pouted and grumbled while getting into his car.

“You’ve been hogging her to yourself this entire time and then you have the nerve to invite us out without her.” Is what Donghyuck said to him.

Meanwhile you were dealing with a disgusted Chenle.

He gagged and grimaced as you told him what you and Jisung had been getting into when you were alone.

“Spare me the details, please,” He said before covering his ears.

You circle your eyes at how dramatic he was being.

“This is corruption at best,” He joked, “In the school parking lot, Y/N, Seriously? And more than once at that. I mean, I’m not judging you, but what if you had gotten caught.”

“We were careful,” you shrug, “-ish.”

Chenle chuckles before shoving his hands in his pockets.

It felt good to be walking through nature and breathing in fresh air instead of the strong smell of Jisung’s car air freshener.

You and Chenle always took the long way (that still wasn’t considered long) home. The route led you through the children’s park and past the old creek that the two of you used to play at as kids.

“So I take this as you and Jisung are now official,” Your friend says with raised eyebrows.

You’re quiet.

Chenle stops and looks at you. “Y/N.”

“Well...” You start, “Not quite.”

He sighs.

“We just haven’t talked about it yet,” You say.

He starts walking again. “That’s the problem, Y/N. Jisung isn’t the type to commit,”

“Who says I’m looking for commitment.”

Chenle scoffs, shaking his head.

“Chenle, I don’t want to fight about Jisung every time we talk. Can we please just change the topic.”

He nods his head.

For the rest of the walk, the two of you chat about random things, falling back into the your old routine.

Eventually Chenle brought up the end of the school year.

The year end had almost slipped your mind.

You didn't realize how long it had been. Your days had just been blurring by.

It was had to believe that you and Jisung had only known each other for two months, It felt like much longer.

“Are we still going to summer camp?” Chenle asked.

“I’m still thinking about it, but I’ll have my answer before summer.”

Chenle nods, not pressing the topic. He already knew why you having to think it over.

The two of you had been going to summer camp for years now.

You’ve only missed one summer since you had been going. But that was only because Chenle’s dad brought you two to a resort that summer.

It wasn’t long before you and Chenle made it home.

Instead of going straight home, Chenle came over to your house.

You two started on your homework, helping each other out on what you didn’t understand.

Soon, drowsiness got the best of you two. So you put away your homework and decided to take a short nap in your room.

The nap lasted longer than what either you had intended. The only reason Chenle had woken up was due to the ringing of your cellphone.

The sound didn’t wake you up, so Chenle took it upon himself to answer your phone— without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” Chenle said, voice groggy with sleep.

Jisung was a little surprised to hear Chenle instead of you and couldn’t help but to feel a little annoyed. ‘’Chenle?”

“Yes.”

“Where’s Y/N.”

“She’s right here.”

There’s a pause.

“Okay so give her the phone.”

Chenle rolls his eyes. “She’s asleep.”

“So wake her up.”

“No,” If Chenle was being honest, he was being purposely difficult. He could have woken you up, but he didn't feel like listening to you and Jisung flirt with each other. “When she wakes up, I’ll let her know that you called”

Jisung lets out a deep sigh. ‘It’s about to be 11 o’clock.”

“So then, she’ll call you back in the morning.”

“Chenle.”

“Jisung.”

‘What are you still doing at her house anyways.” Jisung asked, clearly annoyed with the boy beside you.

“Well I was sleeping before you called.”

The jealously in Jisung had made itself present as his heart rate began to pick up and his palms began to sweat.

“Listen, Jisung, she’ll get back to you soon, trust me. Goodnight,” Chenle said before hanging up.

Jisung chuckles to him self in disbelief before tossing his phone on his bed.

Jisung didnt know why he was so jealous. Deep down inside he knew that you and Chenle were just friends.

But he also knew that Chenle knew you better and longer than he did.

He knew that you trusted Chenle with your life and with every fiber of your being. And that annoyed him to no end.

Jisung had been in your room before, you had a whole drawer and your dresser specifically for Chenle. It had spare clothes, deodorant, and even hair products.

Jisung was beyond jealous but he couldn’t let you know that.

But sometimes it was hard to keep his composure.

The next morning Jisung woke up to a text from you.

‘Walking to school with Chenle, see you when we get there.’

He was annoyed already.

He drove to school alone for the first time in weeks with nothing but the radio playing

in the background.

When he got to school, he spotted you and chenle along with Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun and Donghyuck standing around Sungchan’s car.

He noticed Hyuck’s arm thrown around your shoulder.

A surprised gasp left Donghyuck’s mouth when he felt Jisung fling his arm from around you.

You gave Jisung your own surprised look as he replaced your friend’s Arm with his own.

“You could have just told me to move.” Hyuck said, rubbing his wrist.

Jisung ignored him.

“That was mean,” You whisper to the boy.

He shrugged. “His arm shouldn’t have been there anyways,”

You wanted to press the subject a little further but you concluded that it was no big deal. It wasn’t the first time that Jisung had woken up in a foul mood.

Not too much later, the bell rings, signaling the start of 1st period.

Everyone says their goodbyes before heading to class.

Jisung walks you to class, and leaves you with a long kiss on your lips

You’re baffled for a second since Jisung never kisses you in school but you don’t complain.

When lunch comes around you opt for lunch with the boys instead of lunch in Jisung’s car.

Jisung pouted on the way to the cafeteria, huffing and groaning.

He made sure to sit as close to you as possible.

When the rest of the boys came in, Chenle sat on the other side of you.

Both you and your best friend didn't miss how Jisung slid his arm around your waist and let his hand rest on your thigh.

You tried to shrug his hand off, thinking he sat his hand there on accident, but he only gripped your thigh and grazed his fingers over your inner knee.

“What are you doing?” You whispered, trying not to bring the other boys’ attention to what Jisung’s hand.

However it was hard for them not to notice. The table was hardly concealing anything.

“I’m not doing anything,” He said, face stoic and unmoving

Truth be told, you didn’t really care that his hand wad there, but it wasn’t like Jisung to do anything like that.

The furthest pda went with him was hand holding.

Either way, PDA or no PDA you didn’t mind but it did make you wonder.

After lunch, he walked you to class per usual.

When dismissal came around, Jisung was right there waiting.

He didn’t give you time to acknowledge him before he was taking your hand into his and walking you out of the building.

You call out his name as you struggle to keep up with the pace he was walking at. Any faster and he’d be dragging you.

When you finally made it to his car, he opened the passenger side door and gestured for you to get in.

You slid into the car slowly but silently, curious about why he was acting so weird.

Jisung closed the door behind you and jogged over to the drivers side.

Usually he would give himself time to adjust, fixing his mirror, turning on the air for you, or taking off his jacket.

But he didn’t this time. Jisung pulled out of the school parking lot immediately after sticking the key into the ignition.

He didnt even bother to put on his seatbelt.

The car ride was silent the entire time.

You side eye Jisung, waiting for him to say something or make a move but he doesn’t. He only stares at the road, following the same route that you always follow.

You pull out your phone, shooting a quick text out the boys, asking if something was up with Jisung.

Chenle was the only one who responded.

‘Yeah he’s been off all day’

Jisung pulls into the diner without you noticing.

“What do you want,” he asks you

Its silent.

You ignore his question. “Why are you being so weird today?”

He looks at you with a confused expression. “What are you talking about?”

Jisung knew exactly what you were talking about.

“The excessive touching, giving the guys weird looks?” You say. “Whats up with that?

Jisung shrugs. “I don’t know, what do you want to eat?”

“So there’s no reason behind it,” You say, ignoring his question again.

“No. Plus, why are you complaining about me touching you?” His face crinkles in annoyance. “You never mind when Chenle or Jaemin do it.”

“I'm not complaining, i'm just asking. You never do things like that, Jisung, so its weird”

“It’s weird?”

“Not weird but there’s a difference between you and chenle doing it.”

“What’s the difference?” He challenges with raised eyebrows.

“Chenle has always been overly affectionate-“

“Chenle isn’t your boyfriend.”

“Neither are you, Jisung.”

The boy scoffs and shakes his head

A crack of thunder rips through the sky, breaking the deafening silence in the car.

“Its about to rain,” you say rubbing your hand over your hair. “Take me home, please.”

“Why? so you can invite chenle over and you guys can be affectionate together,”

“I can’t believe how immature you’re being right now. If you were jealous, you could have just said something.”

“I’m not your boyfriend, Y/N. What did you want me to say.”

Rain begins to pour down on the windshield.

“I don’t know, maybe, ‘im jealous of my own friends and your best friend who you’ve known since diapers.”

Jisung is quiet.

“Just take me home, Jisung.”

“No,” he mumbles

“No?” You ask, being sure that you heard him right. “Jisung, take me home.”

He doesn’t listen, and instead stares down at his fidgety hands.

“Jisung!”

A deep, agitated sigh leaves his throat before he reverses the car and pulls out of the diner faster than he pulled in.

Thank god for your seatbelt.

“Slow down,” you tell him as he speeds down the slippery road.

“You want to go home, so I’m taking you home,” he says emotionless.

“Jisung the roads are wet, you need to slow down before you get us hurt.”

Jisung ignores you, allowing his driving to become more reckless.

“Jisung, seriously, stop.” You say sternly

His hands tighten on the stirring wheel before he finally stomps his foot down on the break.

A scream is released from your mouth as your body is thrown against the car door.

The sudden stop caused the car to spin 80 degrees before coming to a complete stop.

Jisung’s breath is ragged and his eyes were wide, as he stares down at the stirring wheel.

The sound of you unhooking your seatbelt is what brought him from his daze.

Without a word, you push open the car door.

“What are you doing?” He asks, voice weak.

He’s met with the door slamming in his face.

He can see your silhouette through the heavy rain. You duck your head and hug your arms around yourself while walking away from his car and in the direction of your neighborhood.

He contemplated going after you but decided against it. Instead he pulled out his phone and dialed the first person he though of.

“Chenle,” You said through the phone. You had been walking for a little over 4 minutes and the rain just kept getting heavier.

“Hello?” He said loudly

“I need your help.”

Jisung made it obvious that he didn’t care that you had gotten out of his car as you had watched him drive past you two minutes ago.

You had explained what happen each to chenle on the phone and he demanded that you stay put until he got there.

You listened, staying in that very spot. Thankfully the road was empty so you didn’t have to worry about cars not being able to see you through the rain.

Not even a couple minutes later, you spot a blue car that you recognize as Chenle’s dad’s.

Chenle jumps from the drivers side and walks you over to the car.

Once inside, Chenle turned up the heat for you and checked you for any injuries.

“Are you okay?” He asks repeatedly.

You nod your head. “Thank you for coming, you got here fast.”

“Yeah, i came as soon as i could.”

The rest of the ride was silent as you focused on getting warm and not thinking about Jisung.

Once Chenle made it to your house , he walked you inside and told you to take a shower while he grabbed food for the two of you to eat.

Quietly you went to the bathroom and drew yourself a shower.

You dressed in mismatched PJs and sulked to your room where you found Chenle resting on your bed.

He sat up immediately upon your entrance.

Neither of you said anything at first.

“Um, I couldn’t find anything in the kitchen so I ordered pizza.” He told you.

You nod you head and sit next to him. You couldn’t help how the tears welled up in your eyes.

Being next to Chenle reminded you of just how much time you had spent with Jisung and how many times you had defended him.

After hearing you sniffle, Chenle sighs and wraps his arms around your frame.

“Im sorry, Chenle.” You apologize through tears.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

The next morning you woke up later than intended but it was the weekend so you didn’t care.

Chenle wasn’t next to you when you woke but you assumed he just went home.

You stayed in bed for a few minutes before you were interrupted by voices coming from your living room.

You thought it may have been your dad’s friends but the voices were way too loud for that.

You groan and get out of bed before jogging downstairs.

You’re met with 6 pairs of eyes.

Chenle, Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, and Donghyuck sit spread out across your living room while your dad sits on the coffee table telling some elaborate story.

They stop talking upon your entrance.

The five boys greet you with bright smiles.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had so many friends.” You dad says.

Apparently the rest of the guys tracked your house down after finding out what happened between you and Jisung.

Jisung had tried to confide in them last night when he had got home, but they had only been upset with him by the end of the call.

They begged Chenle for your address and then showed up as early as they could.

No one mentioned anything to your dad and told him that you were just feeling under the weather.

Your dad got everyone in the kitchen and let them help make your favorite breakfast.

You spent the day hanging around the house with your friends and watching your dad interact with them.

It was easy for your dad to get along with them, it was like having a house full of sons.

Chenle and Jeno were the only ones with with a present father. So it was easy for the rest of the boys to find joy in hanging out with your dad.

When they left, they pouted and asked your dad if they could stay but he declined and told them to come back the next day.

They did.

Bright and early Sunday morning. They really had absolutely nothing to do.

You weren’t complaining though. Having them around, constantly providing entertainment, kept you from thinking too hard about Jisung.

You had almost forgot about the situation, but when nightfall came and you were in your bed alone, memories of him began to play through your head.

You missed everything about him.

You contemplated forgiving him and letting things go back to normal but it was obvious that Jisung had his own problems to work out.

That night you fell asleep with a racing mind.

The next day you woke up to the sound of your dad knocking on your door telling you to wake up.

You didn’t rush to get ready and instead took your time. When you were done you had gone downstairs to see Chenle waiting on you.

You kissed your dad goodbye and began your short journey to school, not looking forward to it.

Once you and Chenle made it on campus, a text from your dad came through.

‘Jisung came by this morning. He looked upset. Did the two of you break up?” It read.

You roll your eyes at the words “broke up”

‘Jisung and I were never dating’ you reply

The once empty school parking lot filled with loud, chatty students ..including your friends.

You didn’t get to talk to them for long though, when you saw an all too familiar black Maserati pull up, you made and excuse if why you had to leave.

You decided that the best thing to so was avoid him.

You had somehow managed not to run into him at all. You began to think he was avoiding you too.

It hurt to think he didn’t care.

However, you had been proven wrong.

On your way to lunch, you were pulled into a classroom by a random hand.

You were shocked because you weren’t expecting it but you weren’t surprised to see it was Jisung.

He closed the door behind him before taking small steps toward you.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asks softly.

“Is that really a question, Jisung?” You fold your arms over your chest. “Maybe you should start with an apology instead.”

He sighs and run his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry Y/N,” he says, closing the gap between you two. He slides his hands over your arms. “I really fucked up. I was upset and reckless and I could have seriously hurt the both of us. Please forgive me.”

Your silence scares him.

You shrug his hands off. “Im not upset about how reckless you were being. You were acting completely out of character that night, Jisung. Getting jealous over Chenle out of all people. Not only that, but getting so jealous that you almost crash your car out of anger.” You say not realizing that your voice was raising slightly.

Jisung didn’t look at you and stared at his feet. He couldn’t look at you.

“And the worst part is that you left me there. Stranded in the rain.”

“You jumped out, Y/N.”

“Right, and you left me there.” You scoff. “I had to call Chenle to pick me up, Jisung. You left me there with no resolve.”

He looks confused for a second.

“Do you know how embarrassing that was?”

“Y/N-“

“Look Jisung, you clearly have a lot of things to figure out at the moment. And until you do, i don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

Jisung could feel his heart crumbling. He couldn’t bring himself to say a word. He had never experienced anything like this before.

Before he could even think of anything to say, you were already out of the door.

His chest ached and his eyes watered. He tried to stop the tears from falling but it was inevitable. Hot salty tears glided down his cheeks like they had done when he was younger.

You fought the urge to to go back to Jisung and take back everything you had just said and headed straight for the cafeteria.

Your lunch table was full of your friends.

“What took you so long?” Donghyuck asked as you sat between him and chenle.

“I got held up by Jisung,” you say with a tight smile.

The table goes quiet.

“Did you guys make up?” Renjun asks breaking the silence.

You shake your head

They look between one another with eyes full of pity.

You sigh. “You guys can go to him. He’s somewhere around the old art room.”

They all nod and thank you before scurrying from their seats. All of them except for Chenle.

You look at him with raised eyebrows.

“I don’t think he would appreciate seeing me right now.”

You smile sadly. “You’re probably right.”

Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck all jogged over to the old art room, praying they find their friend still there.

They did.

Jisung sat in a empty desk with red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks.

Jaemin was the first one to approach him, resting his hand on they younger boy’s shoulder. Jeno was right behind him.

“Wanna skip?” Jeno asked softly, as if he was scared to break the silence.

“Yeah,” Jisung rasped out after a few moments.

His friends pat his back as he picks up his book bag and follow him from the classroom to his car.

Jisung cried a few more times that day, letting his friends comfort him.

His heart had been broken for the first time ever and he wasn’t sure how to handle it.

Jaemin had told him the story of his first heartbreak in hopes of providing Jisung with some kind of advice but it had only resulted in the both of them being sad together.

You on the other hand were ignoring your feelings by hanging out with your best friend like you usually did before Jisung came into your life.

of you mentioned him and spent the day binge watching anime.

For the next few weeks Jisung didn’t show up for school. according to Chenle,the boy only showed up to collect his work and that was all. The only time Jisung came to school consistently and for the entire day was during finals week.

Eventually summer comes around and and you still hadn’t talked to Jisung, not even during your friends graduation.

Your senior year was the same way, without Jeno, jaemin, Donghyuck, and Renjun it was just you and Chenle. Jisung was back in school but you hadn’t heard from him or seen much of him.

Chenle would check on him every once in a while but their friendship wasn’t the same.

Even though the rest of the guys were attending college (save for Donghyuck, who was taking a gap year) they still made time to visit you and Jisung. However, they never updated you on him because they assumed you didn’t want to know.

However, half way through your senior year Jisung and Chenle rekindled their friendship and began to hang out a lot more.

Jisung found himself always asking about you and your well being. He missed you more than anyone knew. After your ‘break up’, as everyone likes to call it, Jisung couldn’t bring himself to move on. He wanted to make things right but it was clear that he was the last thing on your mind.

That was the most painful part for him.

Graduation came and went and you were accepted into the only college you applied for: The local university.

The university that all of your friends attend because its closest to home.

The one that you assume Jisung also applied to.

It’s been about a year since you’ve talked to him. You think about him a lot and how things could have turned out.

Summer is coming to an end and in less than a week, you will be moving into the dorms of your university.

Your dad was out getting food for you and Chenle as the two of you cleaned your room and packed up your items into a suitcase.

He had been helping you pack and clean since 7am and it was now 3pm

Tomorrow you would be repeating the same process but at Chenle’s house.

“I think we should take a break,” He says, folding a shirt neatly into your suitcase

You stretch and push yourself up from the floor. “Yeah you’re right, dad should be here in a little bit with the take out.”

You fall back on your bed, relaxing against your pillows while Chenle stays seated on the floor, back pressed against your closet door.

“How’s Jisung?” You ask Chenle for the 5th time this week.

He rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you call and ask him Y/N”

Your stomach churns at the thought.

“You’ve been asking about him a lot lately. Do you miss him?”

“I don’t know. In the back of my mind I want him to reach out. I want him to try to mend things like he attempted to a year ago.” You pause. “But, I’m not sure how I would even react to that.”

Chenle nods. “Do you think about forgiving him? You never really talk about that night or mention it at all.”

“It wasn’t that traumatic to talk about. I was scared, yeah but I’m fine. It doesn’t like haunt me.”

He laughs. “Well it haunts me. As your best friend I was terrified getting that call. I wanted to strangle him but I was glad that he called me.”

Your eyebrows furrow.

“My dad was confused when i snatched the keys off the counter and took off but i had no time to expla-“

“Wait you mean when i called you,” you say correcting his mistake.

“Well you both called me. Jisung’s called me first though, thats how I got there so fast. I was already in the car by time you called.”

You sit up from your bed. “You never told me that, Chenle.”

“Well, I thought you knew,” he says, leaning back on his palms.

You scoff. “No, the whole reason i was pissed at him was because I thought he left without a care in the world for my well being.”

“Don’t try to make him seem innocent now, he still left you there, Y/N.” He says. “But then again he did say he thought you would be too scared to get back in the car with him. He still should have made sure, I actually made it to you and that you were safe.”

This new information makes your head spin. Chenle made good points but he also made some of the anger you felt toward Jisung dissipate.

All this time, you thought he had completely abandoned you and left you on your own that night.

Chenle was right when he said Jisung should have stayed to make sure you were okay.

However, knowing that he called Chenle gave you a little hope.

“I’m gonna go get some water,” you tell your friend before getting up from your bed.

Jogging down the stairs, you hold your phone close to your face as you search your block list for a specific name.

Your finger hovers over the contact labeled ‘Jisung 🖤’ for a second.

This is pathetic you think to yourself.

It was obvious that you were waiting for the perfect reason to message Jisung and forgive him, even after all the time that has passed.

What pulls you out of you daze is the knock on your door. You shake your head and pocket your phone. “Coming dad,” you call, assuming that your dads hands were too full with food for him to open the door.

When you pull the door open, you’re met with pretty brown eyes that don’t belong to your father.

There stands Jisung, fingers fidgeting with his car keys while stares at you with the same gaze from a year ago.

You wondered if he could hear your heart pounding.

“Hey…” he says. “It’s been a while. Wanna take a drive?”

shes so pretty fuck

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀7-1-3 Through the 2-8-1

MEEEE i have a crushy crush now😂😂😂😂 its not fun i dont like it not recommended solid 3/10 3 points cuz hes bare cute knocked off 7 points bcuz ITS PAIN👹

hi guysw j wish that i had a little crushy cruhs life is so boring rn its sthe same everyday and its not fun🙁🙁🙁🙁

types of fashion the dream members would find attractive.

requested. hello, i saw ur wips and i was just wondering if u could do a post about how nct dream would like their s/o to wear, just like the writing ur working on for nct 127? i love your blog!!

127 version.

— MARK. find here!

— RENJUN. clean, lots of greys, cross body bags, wide leg jeans, sort of minimalistic, pleated skirts, dress pants, sweater vests, oversized t-shirts, dark blues

his style, in my eyes, is actually pretty minimalistic and neat. he’s been wearing a lot of greys + neutral tones lately and it all looks really clean and put together.

he’d like someone who dresses similar, but not completely the same to the point where you guys are basically matching all the time. he wants to be able to share clothes with you <3

— JENO. dark shades (a lot of black), lots of layers, silver jewelry, jeans, leather jackets, oversized t-shirts, flannels, cargo pants, turtle necks

it’s really safe to say that jeno’s style has evolved a lot over the years, and he’s been sticking to a rather,,, dark colour palette recently. it’s not anything over the top, just little hints of techwear every now and then :)

he thinks any couple that dresses the same/has similar taste in fashion is automatically a power couple, and tbh i agree with him. he’d be so confident walking down the street with you in somewhat matching outfits ugh.

— HAECHAN. find here!

— JAEMIN. pastels/neutral tones, basic prints, girly, dresses, skirts, sweater vests, cuffed pants, oversized sweaters, chunky shoes, minimal layers, thin material, sweat/track suits

he definitely sticks to a basic theme when it comes to his fashion; we don’t normally see anything over the top, but he’s not boring either. super relaxed and kind of idgaf-ish (in a good way!! he looks really comfortable)

tbh jaemin has always come off as someone who i think would really love to have a cute s/o; someone he’s able to protect and love with all his heart, and the fashion really just tops it off.

— CHENLE. oversized, bright colours, wide leg jeans, graphic tees, bucket hats, chains, backpacks, mismatched shoes, elbow shirts, chunky shoes

i can’t really pinpoint what kind of style chenle exactly has — he definitely sticks to somewhat basic pieces, but i tend to associate him with really bright and extravagant outfit.

he’s a giant ball of happiness in my eyes, and so i think he’d be attracted to someone that dressed just like that. he likes walking around with someone that looks almost identical to a rainbow; he thinks it’s so adorable.

— JISUNG. sophisticated, light shades + lots of black, wide leg trousers, purses, trench coats, golden jewelry, dress shirts, casual suits, cardigans, platform shoes, knitted sweaters, mini skirts

whenever i pay attention to what he’s wearing, jisung is literally dressed like a british roadman, but i wouldn’t say that’s his entire style. he wears a lot of dark pieces, but he also wears tons of white shirts as well.

see, i can’t exactly explain why, but when i think of jisung’s s/o, i think of a very sophisticated and mature person. someone who just looks like they have their life put together, extremely organized, also probably one of those people that look like they smell really good, etc — and their style is no different.

park jisung... 🥺 he’s so precious, i’m watching his vlive with chenle rn and damn am i catching feelings for him again (he used to be my bias). i wanna take him on a date, give him some hugs and kisses, just make the boy happy. he’s so cute, i’m a mess 😫

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

him freaking out ‘cause chenle is waving around a pencil 😂 i wanna watch a horror movie with him so i can cuddle him when he gets scared. he gets scared so easily 🥺

I lav hanahaki disease ffs😞😞😞☺️

Bloom for you

Pairing: Sunwoo x reader Genre: angst, fluff, hanahaki, fake dating Word count: 14.2k Warnings: mentions of blood and death, swearing, drinking, and uhhh all the things associated with hanahaki ha...ha A/N: written for @yangkiwi as a part of the "a gift for you" fic exchange hosted by @cherryutas and @ateez-elena ! hi yanna i'm your writer!! i had fun writing your faves and trying something new so i hope you enjoy <3

It's okay if he doesn't return your feelings, and it's okay if you have to hide yourself whenever the petals show up. What's not okay is if he ever finds out the reason for them in the first place.

Sunwoo's usually the perceptive one of the three of you. At the middle school dance, he was the first to notice the tightness of your smile and the slight slump of your shoulders after your boyfriend had dumped you. He was the first to figure out the good news about Eric's scholarship, though it wasn't as if Eric really tried to hide it—his eyes were brimming with endless excitement that was obvious to anyone. And whenever the three of you played your game of guessing the relationships between strangers in public, Sunwoo was able to differentiate between a first date from a dating app and one set up by mutual friends.

Kim Sunwoo was perceptive, and as his best friend, you knew that fooling him would not be easy.

"I have something to tell you," he says quietly.

"So do I."

While it's far from unusual to be hanging out between classes at the apartment he shares with Eric, you get the feeling that it's different this time. The way he messaged you privately instead of in your group chat coupled with seeing how Eric isn't home only confirm your suspicions. If Eric's birthday hadn't recently passed, you would've thought it'd be about planning a gift or a surprise party.

But now, there are more important things to worry about.

"You can go first," Sunwoo gestures at you, nodding in encouragement.

It doesn't make you any more encouraged, but you take a deep breath and decide to take the plunge anyway. This is something you have to do. "Sunwoo, do you think the three of us will be friends forever?"

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"Don't know." Your gaze is trained on his and your shrug is nonchalant, just as you practiced, but every second that goes by makes your stomach twist uncomfortably. Would it be too late to back out of this? "Just wondering."

He searches your face for a second. "Is this about Eric?"

"What?"

"You wouldn't be bringing it up now if it's not about him," he shrugs, though he's no longer meeting your eyes.

It's not about Eric. Not really, anyway; out of the three of you, Eric was the person that this concerned the least. Yet, he's not wrong either because that's exactly what you wanted to talk to him about.

"You like him, don't you?" he says when you don't respond.

"I—what?"

"Y/N, were you worried about how I would react to it?" At the way your jaw drops, Sunwoo has the audacity to laugh, though it quickly dies down and he drops his voice. "It's a good thing that it's Eric. I don't know if I'd trust anyone else to not break your heart."

This is not what you expected at all. You'd practiced and prepared to say these words to him, and now you're hearing him spit them right back at you.

And perhaps there is some truth in his words, but Eric wouldn't be breaking your heart anytime soon. Neither would anyone else when it's already broken. Shattered. "Yeah," you mutter, trying to stop your lips from falling into a frown.

Sunwoo takes your hands, holding them in his lap as he smiles at you reassuringly. It would be a touching moment and if it were the reality of a world where you did like Eric, you'd be more than happy. But all you can do now is force a smile on your face and ignore the queasy feeling in your stomach. You ignore the small fluttering in your chest that you now know is not your heart, but rather the small sprout that's been tickling you with every breath for the past week.

"Right, what did you want to tell me?" you ask, swinging your linked hands a little to shake him out of the reverie he seems to have slipped into.

He simply shakes his head, giving you a smile. "Never mind. It's nothing."

Sunwoo is perceptive—he's the first to notice your fake crush on Eric. But unfortunately, this time he's not quite perceptive enough.

The disease isn't exactly a secret, though there's only been one time you'd personally seen it happen to someone. Chanhee, a guy in your major, had been assigned to work on a group project with you and two other classmates back in second year. The four of you had been sprawled across Younghoon's living room one afternoon researching potential topics for the project, with you complaining every few minutes and Changmin blasting nothing but girl group songs while he was in charge of the playlist. But if you thought that was what made Chanhee leave the room, you were wrong.

You hadn't intentionally checked up on him, nor were you curious about where he had gone. It was something as simple as walking by the bathroom on your way to grab the flash drive from Younghoon's room when you heard coughing. It hadn't been a soft sound either—it quite sounded like Chanhee was hacking up his lungs.

And through the gap he left in the door, you were able to see the petals. Soft, white petals were scattered across the floor, large enough in size that you thought they were plucked straight from a potted plant. An orchid, perhaps, or a lily; you weren't familiar with flower types at the time and didn't know what the petals meant at all. That had been your first and only experience directly witnessing the effects of the disease.

"Chanhee? Are you okay?"

He'd barely looked at you, too preoccupied with the petal in his own hand. He held it up to the light, seemingly studying it as if it were something foreign. And maybe it was—looking back, that must've been the first time he'd coughed up those petals.

"Can—can I help?" you continued stubbornly when he didn't reply. "Is there anything I can do?"

Chanhee shook his head. "No—" Then he paused. "Actually, yes. You can help by not telling anyone about what you saw today."

It was amazing how intimidating he could still look during a vulnerable moment like that, so you'd nodded, quickly leaving to get him some water which he took from you with a blank stare. After that day, he pretended not to know you. It was only your persistence in befriending him that finally allowed him to open up about what was going on.

And although you learned about the disease and supported him throughout it, it never occurred to you that the same thing could happen to you.

"Eric, it worked," you say as soon as you get home and finally drop yourself onto your couch. "I was so sure that he would suspect something, but you know what? He was the one who asked me if I liked you."

"Seriously?" Eric glances at you from above his laptop screen, raising a brow. "I thought we weren't convincing these past few times. Damn, I wish I could call him stupid."

You heave a sigh. "He is stupid though."

Sunwoo is stupid for not knowing, for not having an inkling of a clue about everything that's going on. He's stupid for having no idea that your crush on Eric and your soon-to-be relationship with him aren't real.

And there's no way you could tell him.

Even the thought of him causes an itch in your throat that turns into a cough. Though it's bearable, feeling like a lingering cough from a cold—it hasn't been too long since the start of all this after all. You quickly throw an arm over your mouth to cover it, and when the coughing dies down, there are exactly three small petals sticking to your sleeve. Cherry blossom petals.

"Hey, you okay?" Eric reaches over and plucks one of them off your sleeve, and then holds it up to his face curiously just as you had a few days ago when they started appearing. You'd examined it and pondered in your mind about how such a thing could come from your body because the very thought of that happening was already strange. But even stranger than the science behind growing a plant in your lungs would be the cause of it—unrequited love.

"I'm okay," you mutter, grabbing the petal back from him. As pretty as the flowers may be, the thought of them still make you conflicted. It's embarrassing to know where they come from and why they exist.

Eric snaps out of whatever trance he was in a minute ago. "I still think it's weird. It's obvious he feels something for you," he says stubbornly, crossing his arms. "Can't you see it?"

"Tell that to these stupid flowers." You take the few petals out of your pocket where you'd collected them from earlier in the day and hold them in front of his face. "The answer's right here, Eric. That's what's obvious."

He opens his mouth as if to retort but closes it again and lets the silence settle between you instead. It's a little surprising that he doesn't have anything to say considering he usually shares his thoughts in real time. But this time, it's obvious that he holds back. Perhaps this would simply be one of the changes that your friendship would suffer as a consequence of your situation.

"Y/N," he finally says, the hesitance written all over his face, "are you sure you want to do this?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know I'll help you no matter what, right? But do you think this is the right thing to do?"

"I talked to Chanhee the other day," you say slowly, watching as he glances at you with alarm at the mention of Chanhee's name. You don't blame him though; there have been rumours about the guy that aren't exactly nice, and they all started from the flowers.

"Chanhee?"

"Yeah. I—I think I'll get it removed just like he did." You avert your eyes from Eric's face. This is yet another lie that you'd have to work on telling. "So we just have to go with the plan until then. It'll be fine; I'll even let you think of a dramatic way to break up with me."

"Yeah?" he nods, the grin immediately forming after hearing the last part of what you said. "Okay. If you're sure."

You try to put on a smile too, but there's more than a tinge of guilt in your heart. Eric must think that talking to Chanhee helped you come to a good conclusion, a logical one where you'd simply get the flowers removed and continue living your life as it is. But what he doesn't know is that seeing Chanhee's deadpan stare and hearing the flatness of his voice are the very things that convinced you to make the opposite decision. Having to live a life without feeling the pain that came with unrequited love may sound like a blessing, but to you, it was also a curse that would get rid of a chance at happiness too.

So while Sunwoo may not know the truth, Eric doesn't know the full truth either: you aren't planning on getting these flowers removed at all.

"Thanks, Eric." You turn back to him and finally force a smile on your face. There would be time to worry about that later, but first you need to make sure that Sunwoo believes your relationship with Eric is real.

A few days later is when you put the plan into action.

It's a coincidence, really, that you're with Eric when the two of you see Sunwoo walking by. Your plan was to start at the next study session together, but the opportunity arises in the parking lot on campus after class one day.

"Wait, is that him over there?" Eric pauses just before opening your door for you, tilting his head at someone walking down the path.

It's unmistakable—the figure is getting closer with each step, and you'd recognize Sunwoo's familiar strides anywhere. "Yup, that's him."

"Should we..." He trails off, gesturing vaguely in the air. "You know."

An idea pops into your mind. "Quick, come here."

Maybe this would be strange and awkward and would ruin your friendship in any other context, but this fake relationship needs to be as convincing as possible so that Sunwoo doesn't ever get the idea that your flower situation is because of him.

And so you take Eric's face between your palms, feeling the warmth of his cheeks and the softness of his skin. It may not be anything new, but it makes you briefly wonder what Sunwoo would feel like between your fingers now, whether his newly permed hair would still be as soft as before. How your heart and the tiny flowers around it would react.

Eric is angled so that the two of you would be visible to Sunwoo when he walks by, arms caging you on either side against the car. As you bring him in, you squeeze your eyes shut and anticipate the feel of his lips against yours. They're soft and warm like what you expected, and they fit well as they slip between yours. You feel him bring an arm behind your waist, pulling you closer until you're pressed against him.

It's not bad—it's a nice kiss in every sense. Maybe in a different context it would even be good, or maybe kissing your best friend should be awkward. But right now, it's something you don't have the luxury to worry about.

Soon he pulls back, and you notice a hollowness in your chest that's quite startling. The stillness there feels as if the flowers don't know how to react to his touch at all—as if they're not blooming, not fluttering, but just pausing in confusion for the fraction of a moment.

Which only means the solution isn't to make yourself fall for someone else, you think bitterly.

In the minutes that go by, there's no sign of Sunwoo unlike what you'd expected. You thought he'd come by and jokingly interrupt the two of you and maybe invite himself to your dinner plans—seeing the confusion on Eric's face, it's obvious he thought the same. It's only after you turn to look in Sunwoo's direction that you see his figure getting smaller in the distance. Perhaps he simply didn't look your way or didn't realize who it was, or maybe he was too occupied with carrying the books in his hands.

But as you stare at his disappearing figure, there's a slight slouch of his shoulders and an increase in the speed of his steps compared to earlier. Signs that he clearly saw the two of you but chose to walk away.

It means you're not the only one avoiding him—he's avoiding you too.

Sunwoo opens the door before you get the chance to knock, leaving your fist hanging in the air in front of you.

"Hey," he greets, opening the door wider and stepping back to let you into the space of his narrow apartment hallway. The place looks the same as always, and you can even smell the remnants of pizza lingering in the air—something that reminded you all too much of the game nights here that you've begun to miss with Sunwoo avoiding you and Eric as of late.

But even though not a hair looks out of place, there's a feeling you can't shake off that everything is different. Perhaps it's the lack of smile on Sunwoo's face this time, or the absence of the brightness that he typically radiates every time he sees you. He looks tired, and in a way it's almost like looking at your own face in the mirror. Tired, pale, hollow.

"I, um, have a dinner date with Eric in a bit so I can't stay too long," you say, following him when he leads the way to his room. It only confirms what you sensed from his text—this will be about something serious if he doesn't want Eric accidentally walking in on your conversation when he gets back from class. "Sorry. Maybe we can hang out properly another time? Just the two of us?"

"Yeah, of course." He briefly looks disappointed, and your small mound of guilt for creating this plan piles up a little more.

You close the door behind you and then opt to lean against it, unsure of where you should be standing or sitting when things are no longer the same as before. His room may be small, but it makes the distance between the two of you stretch to infinite bounds.

"How have you been?" he starts, eyes focused somewhere near your head but not quite on you. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You look tired." There's worry in his eyes now, despite the way you tried to keep your voice as level as possible. "Are you stressed? Is your... relationship taking a toll on you?"

"It's just midterm season." You give a casual shrug, trying to change the subject as quickly as you can. It's strange for you to be talking to him about your supposed relationship with Eric and seeing his reaction, it is for him as well. There's a tension in the room that can't be explained but you assume it's simply attributed to the sudden change in your friendship dynamics. "Anyway, I haven't seen you in a while."

Sunwoo looks away.

"Well, actually," you say carefully, finally deciding to put your theory to the test. "I think I saw you last week. Like, by the parking lot? You looked like you were walking home from campus."

His gaze snaps to yours. "Oh yeah? When was that?"

"After class one of those days," you lean back a little more and pretend to pull some balls of fluff off your shirt, maintaining a nonchalant stance. "I was going to say hi and ask if you wanted to grab dinner together, but you walked by really quickly."

"Oh." And there it is—his eyes flicker away from you, an uncomfortable expression settling on his face that only proves your theory to be correct. "You seemed busy."

"Busy? With Eric? Sunwoo, you know that we miss you—"

"Y/N, I lied." He looks right at you before slumping to the ground at the foot of his bed. Running a hand through his hair, and then heaving a sigh. "I'm sorry but I lied when I said I was fine with it. You and Eric... I want to be happy for you. I really do."

"But?"

A bitter chuckle. "But that's clearly not working out."

Crossing the room, you slowly lower yourself as well until you're seated beside him like you've done so many times before. Leaning in just the slightest so that your head rests against his shoulder and hating how even the most minimal contact gets such a big reaction from the stupid flowers. "Talk to me, Sunwoo. Don't keep it to yourself."

He stays silent for a while, so still that only the rise and fall of his chest was any indication that you're leaning on a living person. And when he finally speaks, it's quiet. Barely a whisper. "It just feels like I'm losing you—both of you."

You immediately know what he's talking about because that's exactly what you'd feared would happen to Eric if Sunwoo, for whatever reason, returned your feelings. After all, it'd always been the three of you sticking together since you met in middle school. There's no doubt that feelings would make things messy, and right when you caught your heart fluttering at Sunwoo's smile as he walked you home one night in first year, you knew that nothing about your friendship would be the same ever again.

Now, as he wraps an arm around your shoulders, you wonder if this is exactly what your past self would've wanted: to make Sunwoo jealous and see if there's any ounce of hope that he would be able to return your feelings. But that no longer matters. The itch at the back of your throat and the pressure residing in your chest make it clear there's nothing left to prove, and now it's just a matter of making sure he never finds out the truth.

"It's so selfish to say this but I don't want to be reduced to a—a third wheel to you. But I also don't want you to feel obligated to spend time with me if you'd rather just be with him." Sunwoo looks over, briefly meeting your eyes before he's dropping his gaze again. Another sigh slips out of his mouth. "Sometimes I think about what things were like before. Y/N, I don't want it to be awkward between us."

"That's not selfish of you. I'll always be here, okay?" The lies, along with your pile of guilt, grow a bit larger. "Even if things don't work out with Eric."

"Yeah? Okay." The corners of his lips curve up, but his eyes seem to stay in an unreadable, neutral expression.

Then he mumbles an excuse about quickly sending off that assignment due today before heading to the living room, leaving you alone. The silence is nice, giving you a chance to calm down your racing heart and replay what just happened. Was Sunwoo's jealousy over not being able to spend time with his two best friends the reason for the tension whenever your relationship with Eric comes up in conversation? You wish that could be the worst of the issues within your friendship, but unfortunately, that seems like the tip of the iceberg.

When he continues typing away on his laptop in the other room, you let your eyes roam over the details of the walls around you. It's nowhere as cluttered as the bedroom of his childhood home, though there are a few touches that make it more personalized than the standard dorm room.

On the bulletin board hanging near his desk, he has some polaroid photos of the three of you. You easily recognize where they're from: a Halloween event back in first year where the three of you dressed up in lab coats, pretending to be scientists as if you didn't have to dress in those for your weekly labs. There are a couple of shots at different restaurants when Sunwoo had brought his camera, claiming to capture all your funny antics—clearly the way you and Eric drank with arms linked was one of them. But the last one on the board is your favourite: a photo of you and Sunwoo dressed in fancy prom attire, his arm slung around you, both of you smiling brightly at the camera. It must be the only photo he brought from home, seeing as it's from your high school days.

Just below the board, on his desk, there's a glint that catches your eye. It's a small jewelry box, a little bigger than one that would fit a ring, made with a navy velvet material with gold writing of the brand at the top. And you know that it would be rude to take a look but sometimes it's hard to care about trivial things when your days are numbered. So you reach for it and—

"Hey," Sunwoo's voice interrupts and you try your best not to jump back in surprise. You were so caught up in your curiosity that you hadn't heard his footsteps at all.

"Hey. You submitted your assignment?" When he nods, you decide to directly ask him about what was on your mind. "What's this?"

"Oh—it's um." There's a frown on his face when he comes over to take the box from the desk. He fiddles with it in his hand, body turned in a way so that the box is just outside your view and you're not sure if that's on purpose. If it's something he doesn't want you to see. "Just a necklace I got for my sister."

"Right, her birthday's coming up, isn't it? That's so sweet." It totally slipped your mind. Of course it has to be for his sister. Maybe even for a crush. Either way, it doesn't make sense for you to be holding onto that piece of hope in your heart.

When he opens the box, it's a pretty necklace with a small flower pendant—coincidentally, one that looks like the very flower that you've recently come to be very familiar with. It twinkles so beautifully in the light that it nearly makes you forget the dread that flowers bring you.

And when you see Sunwoo's eyes soften and his smile grow fond, in that moment, you nearly tell him everything. Between the cracks of the walls he always puts up, you can see it—the way it hurts him that you're avoiding him and spending all your time with Eric. The way he knows he's losing both of his best friends but has no choice to be happy for the two of you.

But wouldn't it hurt more if he ever finds out the real reason behind all of this, especially when it's connected to him? Thinking about the guilt he'd have to carry makes you hold back your words once again.

Sunwoo sets down the box and turns to you, but the moment has passed and he has his guards up again. "Have fun on your date tonight, okay?"

"I will," you lie, attempting at plastering on a smile. You go to step around him, thinking that you could wait in the living room for Eric; it shouldn't be too long until he's on his way back.

But maybe it's the sad smile Sunwoo wears or maybe it's the influence of the flowers, for you find yourself stepping forward towards him, chasing the warmth of his touch the way the tiny flowers inside you chase his sunshine. Then you're wrapping your arms around him, burying yourself into the fabric of his hoodie like that's where you belong. And maybe it is where you belong if the disappearance of your chest pains is any indication.

His arms automatically wrap around your waist and the warmth of his embrace is enough for you to pretend just for a minute. That he's not him, you're not you, and none of this is really happening.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" he whispers an eternity later, as if not wanting to break the moment either. But maybe he hears your tears softly pattering against him or the light rattle in your breaths. Maybe he already knows everything there is to know and maybe it's killing him inside just like it's killing you.

"I just—miss you," you admit. A small truth underneath your mountain of lies.

"Hey, if this is because I was avoiding you, then I promise I won't do it again, okay?" He tightens his arms slightly. "We can go back to being the three of us."

But it's short-lived for soon you hear the front door closing loudly, and equally loud footsteps walking around. Eric—the person you're supposed to be dating—is back and here you are in the arms of his housemate. You quickly untangle yourself, ignoring the pressure that immediately reappears in your chest that seems to protest your leave.

Sunwoo lifts a hand as if going to wipe your tears, but you don't wait around to see whether he would just pull back like you expect him to.

"I'll see you soon." Another lie as you go to grab your bag and head out to meet your fake boyfriend. Sunwoo doesn't follow you out.

What you thought was a lie actually turns out to be the truth—you do see Sunwoo very soon. A few days later, it's as if nothing had ever changed between the three of you. Sunwoo holds his promise and makes an effort to hang out with you and Eric instead of shying away from it.

So study sessions at the library are spent with Eric draped across your arm, napping on the table while you look up from your laptop and exchange amused glances with Sunwoo across from you. Game nights are back at their place and has you complaining about how they gang up on your poor character, though Eric sometimes helps you out and you're pretty sure it's not just about being a good fake boyfriend.

Eric also asks a few times if you're comfortable with Sunwoo being around so often, and you give him the excuse of wanting normalcy before the surgery. It's not completely an excuse when most of it is the truth—you do want to live life normally. Besides, you're sure he's glad the two of you won't need to execute the PDA part of your plan right in front of Sunwoo.

You also know it would be difficult to hide the petals, but Eric surprisingly does a good job of covering for you. It seems to work for the time being, however, you know that Sunwoo is perceptive. The longer he's around you the harder it'll be to maintain this façade, and the more cracks there will be between the mask that you're trying so hard to keep up.

But what surprises you is that it becomes easier to breathe when Sunwoo is around: your coughs decrease in severity, there are fewer petals, and there's less pain. It gets to the point where you start wondering how long this would last for. What if simply being around Sunwoo—even if it's purely platonic and even if he will never return your feelings—is enough to stop these flowers from blooming forever? What if this could pause their growth and let you live a life still full of emotions? What if this was the solution?

Though you have a feeling it's too good to be true.

The next weekend has you at a party with Eric. Heavy bass from the music playing at alarming decibels seems to reverberate through your body as you make your way through the crowd, one hand in his and another grabbing onto the first drink in sight. Being the social butterfly he is, he stops by to talk to each friend he sees, and it's just about as awkward as you imagined. Maybe even more, when they look at the two of you with that knowing smile and the twinkle in their eyes.

By the time you make your way to the living room, you find Sunwoo already part of a circle in the corner with some friends you recognized from the occasional lunch together. He waves you over when he catches your eye, shifting back to make room for the two of you.

"Didn't think you guys were coming," he muses, lifting his cup to touch it to your own before downing the rest of what's in it. "Thought you'd have better things to do."

You shrug, lifting your own cup to your lips and relishing in the burn that trails down your throat instead of giving him an answer. Not because of the implication in his tone of voice, but rather the fact that you can't possibly explain your real reasoning for coming here. Thank goodness Eric hadn't questioned your intentions, though you had a feeling that he knew all too well.

"What are they playing?" You nod over at where the rest of the circle is closely huddled together.

Sunwoo eyes you warily for a second before dropping his gaze. "Truth or dare or something. You want to join? They're doing spin the bottle next."

"Yeah, sure." You give him another nonchalant shrug when he turns back to search your face. Sunwoo may be perceptive, and you may be attending a house party despite hating the idea of them before, but surely this can't be as suspicious as his expression makes it seem, right? This calls for another drink. "Eric, you want a drink?" you ask, though you're already up and across the room before he can respond.

Chanhee is in the kitchen when you go to pour the remaining of the vodka into your cup. And with him is Younghoon, the very guy to cause the white petals to fall from his mouth once upon a time. They're talking animatedly—Younghoon throwing his head back as he laughs at something Chanhee says, and Chanhee leaning against the counter with his arms crossed and his signature unamused look on his face.

"Oh, hey, Y/N," Younghoon greets, immediately reeling in his laughter from before. "Surprised to see you here."

"Yeah, um. You're not the first to say that." You laugh a little, sounding awkward even to your own ears. "Needed a change of scenery." The vodka bottle empties without even filling much of your cup and has you reaching for a cooler to make up for the remainder. There's not much of the non-alcoholic selection either from what you can see, but Eric will have to deal with whatever's left of the inventory.

Chanhee remains silent, simply glancing you up and down.

It's strange now that you look closely at him. From the outside, you'd assume that he was the same person as before—a master of sarcasm and a permanent scowl on his face as if judging your life decisions. How Younghoon managed to make him fall in love is a mystery to you, and even more a mystery is how he's coping with the effects of the surgery so well, like nothing ever changed.

Younghoon seems to notice his stare. "I'll head back to the others first? Find you later, Chanhee."

Once he's out of the vicinity, Chanhee finally turns to you. "A change of scenery," he chuckles, though his voice remains flat. "It's not much of a change when the petals follow you everywhere."

"How do you feel talking to Younghoon?" you blurt, not even realizing what you've said until he cocks his head in amusement. Perhaps the drink you downed all too quickly was finally taking effect.

"How do you feel talking to me?"

That's not what you were expecting. "Um, you're cool? I guess?"

He smiles a little and fiddles with the drink in his hand. "I'm just playing with you. That's really what it's like though; talking to him and being with him. It feels like being with anyone else."

"But—but it seemed like you guys were getting along pretty nicely." You frown at him when he simply shrugs.

"Yeah," Chanhee takes a long sip of his drink, and it were anyone else, you would've interpreted that as trying to drown out feelings with alcohol. But you know better. "He confessed his feelings to me last week."

"What?"

A nod.

"Are you serious?" It must be the drink you had. There's no way you're hearing things correctly—

"Yeah," Chanhee scoffs. "It's a bit too late for that. I know I should feel bad, but I really don't."

"Does he... know?"

He shakes his head, immediately knowing what you're referring to. "There's no need for him to know. My feelings are my own responsibility; why should they have anything to do with him?"

"Right." You mentally note that down, unsure of how well you'll remember it after the night is over though it only reaffirms your plan not to tell Sunwoo about any of this. Chanhee's right and it makes too much sense even to your inebriated brain.

But more importantly, what he said about Younghoon confessing sticks around in your mind. How is it that Younghoon only developed feelings for him after the whole flower ordeal? And now that Chanhee's gotten the surgery, he would never be able to return those feelings. It might not hurt him anymore, but your heart aches just thinking about what could have been. They could've been so happy together. They could've loved each other. Instead, now all they have is a broken relationship filled with lost time and opportunity. How could their fate turn out to be doomed like this?

"Y/N, you know it'll only get worse?" The look in Chanhee's narrowed eyes pins you to your spot. "Being around him and pretending like it's sufficient to stop it from progressing."

"Does it not? But I feel better than I have in days—"

"Y/N." He steps closer, setting down his cup on the counter so hard that you can feel a drop of his drink splash onto your arm. "You should stay away from him. It'll feel better for a while, and it'll give you hope. But that won't last; it'll get much worse very soon."

You chance a glance into his eyes and what you find there is confusing. It's almost as if he does have some feelings—enough to watch out for you anyway. Could it be that the surgery doesn't take away all emotions? "Um, yeah. Okay." A nod for emphasis.

But whatever you found in his eyes quickly disappears and his face settles back into its signature displeased look. Then Chanhee gives you a sharp nod before he's picking up his drink again and heading off in the direction Younghoon went in.

The alcohol pumping through your veins makes the encounter fade instantly, and soon, you're joining the circle in the living room once again. Eric thanks you for the drink and then starts the game.

It doesn't even occur to you how this stupid game should've stayed in middle school and not followed you all the way to college. With the bouts of laughter following each round and each funny reaction from the participants getting picked by the bottle, you just about manage to forget why this might be a bad idea. Coming to the party, hearing Chanhee's words, being near Sunwoo.

Well, until the bottle lands on Sunwoo anyway. He's the first person it lands on this round and the crowd reacts, cheering him on and whispering about who they hope the bottle lands on next. Some are looking at him in anticipation; nothing surprising when he's attractive and decently popular amongst the people in his major. Perhaps they'd be praying to the OTP gods to have the bottle land on them. Meanwhile, you're praying it doesn't land on you. You send the bottle your brain waves and you shift in your spot slightly in the hopes that something happens to it—anything, really, as long as it doesn't land on you.

At first it seems to work. The bottle slows down, nearing the end of the spin and appears to stop on Eric. There's laughter on the tip of your tongue and fear in Eric's eyes just at the thought of having to kiss Sunwoo.

And then the bottle rotates just the slightest bit past Eric, landing on you. It's not directly pointing at you, but anyone would be able to tell that it's closer to you than it is to Eric. The laughter dies in your throat.

Eric shoots you a worried look, though there's also obvious relief in his eyes. "Y/N, you don't have to do it. You can back out." There are some coos around the circle, eyes peeling at the concerned boyfriend's reaction to you having to kiss someone else.

But you can feel the way your heart speeds up, the way there's a stirring in your chest that's edging you on. It's something you wanted, after all. Kim Sunwoo—he's what you wanted. "It's fine," slips out of your mouth quietly before you're making your way to where Sunwoo's seated, all the eyes in the room trained on your every step. His included.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks, lips pressed together as if holding back a smile. Why he would be amused at this, you're not sure, but you brush off the thought and give him a firm nod. The full smile appears now. "Okay," he murmurs, inching closer.

When you're looking at him, it's like the rest of the room disappears. A stillness settles, and whether that's from the audience waiting with bated breath, or whether it's the gradual decreasing of the pressure in your chest, you can't tell. But you don't need to. In the next moment, Sunwoo has a hand around your waist and another cupping your cheek. Leaning in until you're shutting your eyes and the tiny smile is the last thing you see before his soft lips finally reach yours.

You knew it would be different from kissing Eric but aren't prepared for just how different it would be. The sharp taste the alcohol on his breath can't hide how soft his lips are, how warm his mouth is. It has your heart thudding ceaselessly as everything else melts away until you can no longer remember why kissing him was supposed to be a bad idea. No, it couldn't have ever been a bad idea. The way he tilts his head to deepen the kiss and the way he pulls you closer tell you that this is exactly where you belong, like he's breathing the air you needed right into your lungs. And then there's the tingling in your chest as if the flowers are reacting to his every touch; they lean into it, they crave it, and the pain disappears when they're satisfied.

It's like the room doesn't know how to react afterwards. You know how it must look—you're dating Eric, but you're here kissing your other best friend. His other best friend. And maybe it was entertaining for the audience, or it looked like a realistic kiss, but there's an awkward energy lingering in the room as people refrain from commenting or cheering.

Eric, for one, is speechless. His mouth hangs open the slightest, perhaps more of a shock at how different you are when kissing the person you're in love with versus kissing him the few times you'd done it just for show. There's a glazed-over look in his eyes like he's coming to a few realizations, ones that completely make him forget that he should be jealous, angry even, in this situation. You hope that people would simply assume he's in too much shock to react.

Sunwoo says something, hand still resting against your wrist. But you don't hear it over the itch at the back of your throat that's been increasing by the second. You can't speak and you can't possibly respond or risk opening your mouth now for there will only be a pile of petals coming out, and no matter how much you try to swallow it down, the pressure only increases.

So you run. You pick yourself up off the ground and get out of the room, making a dash for the nearest bathroom. Hand over your mouth like you're just another one of the guests who've had too much to drink.

Once in the bathroom, you only have half the mind to turn on the faucet and let the sound of the running water drown out the cough that wracks through your entire body. You cough and you heave, and the pressure in your lungs continue to squeeze you until you're doubling over in effort first by the sink and then by the toilet. It's worse this time—that much is obvious even without seeing the bunches of petals that fall into the toilet. They're soft against your tongue and where they stick to your mouth and lips, and they seem to paint the bathroom in different shades of pink where they land.

You almost want to laugh at the situation—the only times you'd seen such a trail of beautiful petals on the floor like this was in movies, always as a set up for a romantic night. Perhaps a path of petals, trailing into the bedroom. And here, in this small bathroom, you're surrounded by the prettiest cherry blossom petals as a reminder of the very lack of romance in your life.

"Hey, Y/N," Eric's voice comes softly from just outside the door, followed by a couple of knocks. "You okay in there?"

"Yeah—" Another cough. Eternity seems to pass before they subside and let you come back up for air. "I'll be fine."

"You don't sound fine. Can I get you some water—"

"Eric, please. Go before he suspects something."

You can sense the hesitation in his steps as he lingers just outside the door for a while longer, but eventually he mutters an 'okay' before he leaves.

It calms down a while later. You catch your breath, sucking in the air between the rattling of your lungs and pushing it out in slow motions to try not to break into coughs again. When you finally flush the toilet and turn off the tap, you can hear the music and chatter floating over again. Luckily, there's no one waiting outside; you still have to deal with the scattered petals across the floor.

Footsteps approach the bathroom again as you're trying to sweep up the petals with your hands, but this time the door creaks open. Great, you'd forgotten to lock it. At least you weren't using the bathroom for its intended purpose, though at this rate, you aren't sure if being on the floor with the petals surrounding you is any better.

"Eric, I told you I'm fine. You should go make sure he doesn't suspect anything," you mutter, your gaze not leaving the handful of petals you carefully throw into the toilet. You're nearly done cleaning and the floor only has about half the amount it started with.

But there's no response. Your stomach drops at the realization.

Because when you look up, it's not Eric standing there at all. It's Sunwoo. Sunwoo with his eyes widened, mouth slightly parted, jaw slack. Sunwoo, whose gaze trails over the tiny pink petals that cover the floor, then to where you're sitting with a handful of them in your palm, and then to the open toilet where they float.

Sunwoo, whom you ran away from the second after you shared a kiss with him.

"I—I thought you ran out because of the kiss." He slowly blinks a few times as if he can't believe what he's seeing. Though underneath the layers of shock, there's hurt. Jealousy. Worry. And while it pains you to see him like this, you're just so tired of having to hide it or explain it or deal with this stupid flower situation at all. Maybe coming here was a bad idea and pretending like everything was fine was a bad idea.

Maybe loving Sunwoo was a bad idea.

"Y/N." Hands are on your wrists, stopping you from where you're still trying to grab at the little flower pieces. "Hey, look at me." Sunwoo gets down beside you, face mere inches away from yours. Forcing you to look at him. "What happened? What is all this—Y/N, why didn't you tell me about this?"

You have no response to his questions. How can you possibly tell him that all of this was because of him? Because of your inability to handle your feelings for a friend? Even without the thought of the flowers making their home in your body, there's the constant fear of ruining your friendship with him, and in turn, your friendship with Eric too.

Luckily, you don't get a chance to answer him, because Eric appears right behind him in the next moment.

"Y/N?" Eric's eyes widen when he sees what's going on. "It's late. Let's get you home." Thankfully, he catches the desperate expression you throw him and carefully steps around where Sunwoo's kneeling on the floor, reaching to help you stand. You give him a weak smile, feeling the relief seep through your body at the excuse for walking out of this difficult situation.

But it doesn't quite go as you expect.

Sunwoo stands, hand catching your elbow as you try to walk past him. "We're not done here. Y/N, Eric, what the fuck is going on?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Eric scoffs, voice dripping with a venom that you've never heard from him before. "Get out of here, Sunwoo."

Immediately, you can feel him stiffen next to you as if bristling with hostility. "No, not until you tell me what's going on." Sunwoo steps in front of you, eyes pleading with you. "Y/N, what is all this? Why are you—"

"That's enough." Eric shoves him lightly, though it sends him stumbling back. He steps in front of you, arms out like he's protecting you from him. "You won't get it, so just stay out of it."

"What did you say to me?" Sunwoo grabs at him, getting a handful of his collar. "You want me to stand here and watch while Y/N is—is dating someone who doesn't even love them?"

That final bit is what does it. It has Eric sending a fist into Sunwoo's jaw. "Shut the fuck up. You have no idea what you're talking about."

You hear a gasp, but it takes you a second to realize that it was from you. Everything after that is a blur.

Sunwoo retaliates, landing a few punches before Eric is pushing him back. Soon the commotion catches the attention of the other partygoers, and a crowd begins to form around the small hallway. You can almost hear the whispers in the audience. It'd be jealousy over the kiss—jealous boyfriend Eric trying to fight best friend Sunwoo over what looked like a much more passionate kiss than what should've been possible. That would be the logical way to go. No one would be able to wrap their head around the truth that's suddenly become so overly complicated.

Someone steps out of the crowd and grabs onto Eric at the first opportunity to hold him back. Sangyeon—at least that's what you think his name is—shoves Eric behind him and holds out his arms in front of Sunwoo, blocking him. If he's not afraid that Sunwoo would simply give him a punch of his own, he's right. Neither of your friends have been much of a fighter and this is the first time an altercation like this has happened.

So you do the same. You step in front of Sunwoo, hand on his chest. "Sunwoo, please. Stop."

He looks at you then, and it's like the fury or whatever it was clouding his eyes completely disappear. There's a new sense of clarity in them and he slowly drops his arms, clenched fists gradually loosening.

One final worried glance and then you're heading to Eric. You nod a quick thanks at Sangyeon before grabbing Eric's hand and leading the way through the crowd. But just when you think the worst is over, you make the mistake of looking behind you as the two of you walk out the door, and there Sunwoo stands glancing back at you with what looks like betrayal in his eyes. It's not great, but you'd rather have him feeling betrayed instead of guilty or helpless over what's happening to you.

There's silence in the car the entire drive home. Eric doesn't bother turning the radio on, though it's clear that neither of you would listen to it anyway. He's stuck in his head just as much as you are, and you can't help but wonder what he's thinking about. Whether he feels just as trapped in this situation or whether he really thinks things will go back to normal after the surgery you said you'd get.

"Hey, you okay?" He finally glances at you just after parking the car outside your apartment, neither of you making a move to get out.

You can't help the grin creeping onto your face. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"

He breaks into a smile too and it makes you forget everything else that happened tonight. The fact that he's still your best friend and that he's still by your side despite this whole situation is something worth smiling over.

"Ow—" The moment ends when his smile disappears. A fresh line of red appears between his split lip and the sight of it has you scrambling out of your seat then dragging him out of his.

A short elevator ride later, you seat Eric down on a chair in the kitchen and grab the first aid kit. But even when you're gently cleaning the cuts on his face, it's hard to not think about Sunwoo. How Sunwoo would be all alone in their shared apartment, how he probably wouldn't bother doing anything about his injuries at all. You can't help the pang in your heart at the thought of that despite how it sounds ridiculous that even when you're dying, all you can think about is helping him.

"Hey," Eric glances at you with hesitation in his eyes as you start with the ointment. "Do you think I can crash here? Not sure it's a good idea to be going back with Sunwoo around."

"Yeah, sure." Then you think twice about it. "But wouldn't he just get more pissed if you stay here?"

He only gives you a grin that's soon followed by a small wince when it pulls on his battered lip again. "That's the point. Kim Sunwoo is going to be so pissed when he figures out that I'm staying here."

The look on his face paired with his words suddenly seem so funny. Although the fight has sobered you up for the most part, the remnants of the adrenaline pumping through your veins gives you a different kind of high—one that has you setting the ointment down and bursting out laughing. Eric joins you until he's doubled over, head landing in your lap and probably ruining all you've done to fix his wounds.

But for a while, none of it matters. For a moment it's only your best friend and you, back in the room of your childhood home laughing at an inside joke that no one else could possibly understand. For a moment there are no worries about the future and no flower petals and nothing that may cause your friendship to be hanging on by a thread.

"Dude, that was so dumb," Eric lifts his head, wiping away the tears at the corner of his eyes. "It's funny now but maybe I shouldn't have punched him so hard."

You look him up and down. "Do you really think he ended off in worse shape than you?"

He gives you a frown before rolling his eyes. "Your bias is showing, Y/N." Then he waves you off when you shake your head a little too vehemently in response to that. "How can you be on his side even now?" It comes out clearly sarcastic like it's a joke, but you can't help but hear the truth lacing his words underneath all of it.

"No, I didn't mean—"

"It's okay," Eric gives you a weak smile and when he stays silent, you realize just how quiet the room has become without the sound of his laughter from just a minute ago. Fading until you can no longer remember what it sounded like. "I can see it, you know. I saw it. Y/N, I didn't believe it at first," he looks down, averting his eyes from where you're hovering to continue working on his wounds. "Well, I've never been very observant, so I didn't see it when you first told me."

You keep the cotton swab in your fingers light and steady as you finish up with the last cut on his cheek, not showing the shakiness you're starting to feel at his words.

"But I saw it back there. Not just how much you care about him, but how much he cares about you too. You felt it, didn't you?" Eric's eyes meet yours again. "What we all saw... that can't be faked, Y/N."

"I guess my acting was terrible the few times you and I kissed then." An attempt at trying to deflect the conversation as you step back to pack up the first aid kit. "Sorry about that."

But Eric shakes his head. "Y/N, forget about our kiss. That's nothing compared to what went down tonight." A bittersweet smile appears on his mouth and then he lowers his voice. "You love him. You're in love with him."

"Yeah," you finally bring yourself to admit, setting everything down just before he pulls you into a hug. "But it's not like that changes anything. I wish I could say that I hated tonight and that it made me hate him too."

"You don't mean that."

A sigh. "I don't."

There's a stillness in the room and one in your chest as well. It's nice being in his arms—calm, warm, and without the strong currents that threatens to pull you under every time Sunwoo is around.

Eric breaks the silence. "I shouldn't have said all those things to him."

"You shouldn't have fought him either."

"I shouldn't have." He sighs, burying his face into the crook of your neck. "I was just so angry at him—it's so easy to think that all of this was because of him. That it's his fault you're..." dying, you would've said, though it's not like he would know. "It's his fault you're hurting."

"It's not his fault. None of this is."

"I know but," he pulls back to look right at you, "should we tell him? Doesn't he deserve to know? He already saw what happened, Y/N. I don't see how we can keep holding it back from him."

"Yeah, I agree." You have to force yourself not to look away for this next part. "But it won't be long until the surgery. We can tell him after, yeah?"

Eric frowns, bottom lip between his teeth. "Okay," he mumbles, clearly hesitant, "if you're sure."

"Just don't mention that it was about him. He doesn't need to know that."

He nods.

You leave him to settle on the couch as you dig through your closet for the spare blankets and clothes that the two of them have left here on numerous occasions. A pair of sweats and a baggy hoodie is what you pick out, though you're not quite sure if they belong to Eric or Sunwoo; you suppose it wouldn't matter with the rate of which they share their clothes anyway.

"We'll talk in the morning, okay? I have a feeling Sunwoo will be showing up right after he gets rid of his hangover."

"Wait." Before you can turn to leave, there's a hand wrapping a hand around your wrist and pulling you down onto the couch next to him. "Y/N... what do you think will happen with us now?"

When you glance at him, there's worry on his face and something unreadable swimming in his eyes that you've never seen before. The Eric you know would never worry about anything, much less over a silly fight with his best friend. But this isn't quite the Eric you know, and you're no longer the you that once existed; everything from here on out is uncharted territory, and the thought of that makes your heart sink a little.

You try your best to put on a smile. "You'll make up with Sunwoo and things will go back to normal."

"You think so?" He searches your eyes, and you only hope that nothing he can find in them will betray you. Not now, not yet. "What about you?"

What he's asking is obvious—it's a question of your feelings for Sunwoo and whether you'd be able to overcome those, or it's about your lack of feelings after the supposed surgery. But all you can do is shrug a little, pressing your lips together to hide the way they quiver. "I'll be just fine."

Whatever joke you made about Sunwoo having a hangover is not so funny the next morning. You wake up to sunlight streaming through the window, so bright that it only aggravates your pounding headache and creates waves of nausea in your stomach. And while it's a nice change to be making a run to the bathroom for a more normal reason than to cough up petals, the sharps pains in your chest quickly make their presence known.

Eric looks just as bad from where he's sprawled across the length of the couch when you drag yourself up and head to the living room. His face is swollen, bruises darker and fully formed, and the way he squints at you must indicate that the same fatigue is affecting him too.

Yet to you, it was all worth it.

Initially, you hadn't wanted to go to the party—heck, the party scene has never been your interest and you'd always opt for an arcade adventure or a game night with your best friends instead. But along with the many changes to your life that the flowers had brought was a change in your mind too. Your real reasoning for going was that you knew it would be your last chance at having fun before things progressed too far. The kiss was just the cherry on top.

And even if the party went to shit, you have a headache that seems to split your skull in half, and the flower situation gets significantly worse, it was all worth it.

"Morning," Eric mumbles, face half covered by the pillow he uses to block the light.

It's well into the afternoon, but you don't tell him that. "Morning." You set a glass of water on the table in front of him and then head into the kitchen to figure out hangover foods.

Sunwoo doesn't show up as you'd expected he would, but it's for the best. The pressure in your chest makes it obvious that you should be avoiding him from now on because Chanhee was right. Everything he said last night was true and it was stupid that you briefly thought it wouldn't be true. Or you thought it just wouldn't happen to you.

But now, it's happening to you. Maybe it would've been fine if you were simply near Sunwoo at the party, but the instant he kissed you, you knew that something changed. And you also knew that you didn't have much time left.

The rest of the weekend goes by in the same way. Eric stays over, half afraid of the truth spewing out of his mouth once Sunwoo confronts him, and half afraid of ruining things with Sunwoo forever. You hate having the situation with Sunwoo weigh the both of you down like this, but there's no way you could let the truth get out. And so, Eric recycles the measly amount of clothes he has at your place, occasionally stealing a hoodie out of your own wardrobe too.

It's after he heads to class the next week when you hear a knock on the door.

"Did you forget something—" You stop when you realize that it isn't Eric turning around to grab his bag at all. Sunwoo is the one standing there, dark circles under his eyes and face hollowed as if he hasn't slept in days. Which, knowing him, is probably true. He'd be bothered by the events of the party endlessly.

"Hey," he says, voice neutral and expression unreadable.

"Hi. You want to come in?" You open the door a little wider though Sunwoo lingers hesitantly where he stands in the hallway, unsure of whether to accept your invitation. It isn't until you reach to pull him in when he finally moves and follows you over to the couch.

All your previous jokes with Eric about how funny a confrontation with Sunwoo would be disappear in an instant. It's no longer funny and you don't seem to recall why it had been in the first place.

"How are you?" he asks, still looking very much uncomfortable where he's now seated on your couch. "Are you okay?"

You nod.

"Look, I'm sorry for the other night," he runs a hand through his hair, eyes only briefly pausing on yours before fleeting away. "And for being an asshole in general. I didn't know what you were going through."

"It's okay. I didn't want to burden you with this."

"What? No, it's not a burden."

It gets quiet. Even the hum of the fridge abruptly stops, leaving you completely on your own.

"How long has it been?" Sunwoo asks, and though his face is half turned away, you can hear what his words seem to say: how long do you have left?

"A few weeks."

Silence.

"Does Eric know?"

A nod, then more silence. It feels a bit like an interrogation at this point, and you can't seem to shake off the strange feeling between the two of you.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, eyes still not meeting yours. You sigh a little, searching his face for any trace of a hint or an answer that his voice fails to give, but finding none of the jealousy or hurt that seemed to seep through his presence at the party.

The answer is obvious, of course: you didn't tell him because you don't want him to live with the guilt of knowing his lack of feelings for you is the cause of this. But instead, you settle on another one of the cards from your deck of lies. "It's kind of just between me and him."

"Is that why you guys started dating?" When you don't answer, he continues. "So the flowers are for him. And you've been trying to make him fall for you." The last bit comes out sounding like a statement, so you don't answer that either. It's like he's working through his own thoughts out loud, and even if they're far from the truth, you can't correct him.

Sunwoo looks like he has more to say or ask but is clearly tentative about how far he should push this, and so you let the silence linger uncomfortably. But the strange feeling builds and at this point you aren't quite sure if it's something that really exists or if it's another reaction of the flowers. You haven't seen him since the party and while you're hoping that his presence alleviates some of the pain, Chanhee's words echo in your mind like a siren. Warning you that being with him may only make things worse.

"I have something to tell you," Sunwoo starts slowly, breaking the silence. "This might be bad timing, but I just want to say it in case I might not get a chance to later."

You're too afraid to ask if he means that in the sense that he won't be seeing you much when you're supposedly dating Eric, or that you may no longer be around to hear it anymore. Either way, there's a foreboding feeling; perhaps this is what you've felt since the instant he stepped into your apartment.

He draws in a long breath. "Y/N, I like you. No—I love you. I have for a long time, and—fuck, I might actually be in love with you. But I guess none of it matters now." You think that's all he is going to say, but then he finally lifts his head to meet your gaze with a wry smile and continues. "Do you remember the day you told me you like Eric? I wanted to tell you that day. That's why I called you over."

"What? How? Why didn't you?" That's impossible; he has to be joking, though it's not a very funny joke. Especially when it hurts to breathe.

"If it were anyone else that you liked, I would've told you." His eyes soften, smile turning fond. It reminds you of the tiny glimpse of him you saw the other time in his room, and it looks so real that it your heart stutters. "But it was Eric, and I could never do that to him."

It hurts to speak so you don't. You keep quiet and let him fill in the silence.

"And ah—you found the necklace in my room," Sunwoo breaks off into an awkward chuckle and ducks his head just as you catch a glimpse of his reddening cheeks. "That was supposed to be for you. Anyway, I know you're dating Eric now, but I just—I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest. Maybe it'll give you some comfort knowing you're not the only one in this whole one-sided love thing."

One-sided love. That's about all you catch when all your attention is directed to breathing. You have to focus on pushing the air into and out of your lungs between the branches or roots of the plant residing there when it's so difficult. It's not too different to what happened right after the kiss you shared with him at the party—your throat tightens, and your chest hurts and there's too much pressure all of a sudden. As if the strange tension was building up to this moment the entire time. You're aware that what Sunwoo's saying is something important and that you should hear the rest of it, but the urge to cough is uncontrollable.

The bathroom is still a few steps away when the coughs start and a shower of pink petals land on the floor, trailing after you. But even when you're hovered over the toilet, it's like the petals don't stop this time. They fall much like each spring breeze shakes the petals from a cherry blossom tree towards the end of the season, and they pile around you like they had at the party. They only make you realize Chanhee was right. Being around Sunwoo was making this much worse than you ever thought possible.

He's right outside the bathroom, and the worry is apparent in his steps and the quiet knocks on the door. "You okay?"

"Just—give me a second." You can barely hear yourself say it over the pain that blares across your body. If Sunwoo hears, he doesn't react, and you can't bring yourself to repeat it. It's hard to focus on anything at all when simply breathing is taking up all your energy.

"Y/N? What's wrong?" He opens the door and the concern on his face is the last thing you see before the world goes black.

There are voices nearby, you vaguely realize. Eric and Sunwoo's voices, though you've never heard them like this before.

"No, I—I couldn't have told you before," Eric says, and then sniffles slightly. "It wasn't my secret to tell. I'm sorry."

There's no doubt he's telling Sunwoo all about it. Hiding it might not be an option anymore, but you can only hope that Eric doesn't reveal the true cause of all of this.

The next time you wake up, it's to Sunwoo's face. He's seated on a chair beside you, hand on yours and body draped across the hospital bed. Eyes closed, seemingly fast asleep. Despite having spent nearly half your life being around him, it's become rare to see him so vulnerable—somewhere along the way, you'd begun to get the sense that he'd put up a sort of guard between him and the world. And that included you.

"Oh, you're awake," he mumbles, pulling his hand back to rub the sleep from his eyes. You hope that napping here was a chance to catch up on the rest he's been missing, but the tiredness written all over his face says otherwise. "Thank goodness."

"So are you."

He doesn't react to that. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay."

There's a pause and you belatedly realize how tense the atmosphere is. All the words that you wanted to say suddenly disappear from your mind, and seeing the way Sunwoo hesitates, perhaps the same is true for him.

"I told Eric to go home and get some sleep." He chuckles a little, almost bitterly. "Is it selfish of me to want to be here when you woke up? I just—I want to take up all your time even though I know Eric's the one you should be spending time with."

"Wait, what?"

"So that he might return your feelings." Sunwoo reaches for your hand and drops his gaze to where he intertwines his fingers with yours. "I'm sorry about what I said before. It doesn't matter if you're dating Eric or if he doesn't feel the same way about you yet. As long as you're okay... that's what's matters."

There's nothing to say to that. You look away, glancing at the ceiling instead. Counting the number of squares in between the grids of the fluorescent lights above head.

"You will be okay, right?" he prompts, squeezing your hand a little as he shifts closer. "Eric says you're getting the surgery soon and—"

"I lied."

It's the hope in his eyes. Lying to him and deceiving him has been difficult already for the past while, but it's seeing the way his eyes light up as he glances at you with such hope that finally stops you from perpetuating the lie. Many things would end soon, and maybe the lying should be one of them.

"What?"

"Sunwoo, I lied to him. To both of you." The wires and tubes around your free hand prevent you from wiping away the stray tear, but he takes care of it for you. "It was never Eric, and I'm not getting the surgery."

"What do you mean?"

"These flowers aren't for him; they never were." It takes you eternity to muster the courage to say your next words. Even in the face of death, it doesn't get any easier. "They're for you, Sunwoo. They were only ever for you. It was never Eric or anyone else."

Time seems to freeze the moment Sunwoo's jaw goes slack along with the hand that was holding yours. He lets go of you and sits back in his chair as if putting space between the two of you. And despite knowing this entire time that there's absolutely no way he'd reciprocate your feelings, —the stupid petals told you that much—there was still a tiny inkling of hope in your chest that things would be different.

Perhaps misery always starts with the delusion that things would be different for you.

Now, as he glances back at you with an unreadable expression, you can only resort to being grateful that you wouldn't have to see this expression on his face for much longer. It leaves you thinking it's good you never planned on getting the surgery; you don't know if you could stand coming back to a ruined friendship.

"Wait," Sunwoo says slowly. He has his bottom lip between his teeth, brows furrowed like he's deep in thought. "But Y/N, that doesn't make any sense."

"Why? You never thought I'd fall for you?"

"No, that's not what I mean." If you don't know any better, you'd say he sounds almost exasperated. Frustrated. You're afraid you'd see the shades of guilt on his face that you'd imagined whenever you thought about confessing to him, but of all the emotions that seem to flash across his face, guilt isn't one of them. Why would it make him frustrated to hear about your pathetic feelings for him that started all of this?

So you give him a weak smile. "It's okay, Sunwoo. You don't have to worry about—"

"No," he says firmly, leaning forward and taking your hand in his once again. "It doesn't make sense because I've loved you forever, Y/N. I—I just. How can this still happen?"

"I don't know how it can happen either—wait." Now it's your turn to pause in disbelief, replaying his words in your head to make sure you heard correctly. Surely, it must be the drugs in your system confusing your mind. "What did you just say?"

It sounds familiar, as if you've seen a glimpse of this scene from a dream before. Had it been real? Had he uttered these words before?

"Wait," you stop him just as he opens his mouth to explain, "that wasn't a dream?"

The memories start to come flooding back all at once: Sunwoo on the couch in your apartment, being interrupted by the petals, but most importantly what he'd confessed.

You hadn't had the time to process his words at the time, but now, your overactive mind has you second guessing them. That surely, they had to be fake. Was it sympathy for believing that Eric really didn't return your feelings? Because how could you possibly believe him when all the signs are pointing you in a different direction?

Sunwoo must see the conflicted emotions written on your face. "I'm not lying to you. You saw how I was avoiding the two of you at first," he smiles now, a small and sheepish smile spreading across his lips. "I really wanted to be happy for the two of you and thought that if my two best friends were happy, it'd be enough for me. I tried staying away until I could get a handle on my own feelings, but it only made me miss you." A pause, and then he rolls his eyes. "Well, him too."

"You didn't know it was fake? The whole crush-on-Eric thing."

The corners of his mouth form into a frown. "I didn't want to question your relationship. Besides, when I did see things that made me doubt it, I thought I was just seeing what I wanted to see. That maybe, somehow, you don't really like him that way."

"You're not joking."

"No, of course not." Sunwoo shakes his head. "Y/N... will you get the surgery? Please? We can work things out after it."

Now that you've heard what he has to say, everything is different. But you hadn't thought this far—in all the possible outcomes that you'd imagined, there was never one in which Sunwoo would return your feelings. Because how could he? The very reason for these flowers to be harbouring in your lungs stems from the fact that your feelings are unrequited.

But if Sunwoo's telling the truth, and it seems like he is, then why has this disease taken over your body in the first place? And how can you possibly remove the flowers now, knowing that he loves you? That you'd be coming back as an empty shell of a person, incapable of giving him the type of love he deserves. You'd seen the way Chanhee talked about Younghoon, and how he's now lost the opportunity to have something he'd always wanted. For all the suffering you'd done silently, believing your feelings to be unrequited, you don't want to put Sunwoo through even more of that.

Especially when happiness is so close you can almost taste it.

You sigh. "I can't." When he starts to protest, you continue. "Sunwoo, it's for the best. If I get the surgery, I wouldn't be able to return your feelings. I wouldn't be able to feel anything anymore, and it just—" Another tear slips out but this time he doesn't go to brush it away. "I can't live like that. Especially knowing that we could've had everything. We have everything right now, Sunwoo. If we get out of here right now, we'd still have some time together. Can't this be enough?"

"But—but if you get it, you'd still be here. You'd still be our friend."

"I wouldn't be me, though."

Sunwoo shakes his head. "No, there has to be a way. Don't give up on this, not when we're so close."

His determination is easy to get lost in, and for a second you think that everything will be okay. It's the same feeling as when you were with him before—thinking and believing that his presence will be sufficient to stop the disease from progressing. Something you now know is false with the sharp reminder with each effortful inhale and exhale.

But Sunwoo doesn't know all that. He glances at you with a small sparkle of hope back in his eyes, bright enough that it almost disguises the fear and the sadness underneath. "Y/N," he's tentative, eyes averted from yours, "can I try something?"

"What do you mean? What is there to try?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Already, the mention of a kiss has you thinking back to the one at the party. How it had felt, how it had been worth it despite the progression of the coughing and the pain in your chest afterwards. Now, this could go very well or very badly. Maybe nothing would happen—the pain might be relieved for a while like when you'd spent time with him before. Or maybe everything would get worse. But maybe it's a chance that you're willing to take for one last kiss with Kim Sunwoo, someone who you now know loves you, despite what you've believed for the past few months.

So, you say yes.

He reaches up to gently caress your cheek, and then leans forward so slowly that you're sure he would've jumped back at any sign of interruption. But nothing interrupts, and there's a bit of a smile on his lips right before they meet yours.

If you thought the kiss at the party was good, then you aren't at all prepared for just how it feels knowing you aren't the only one in love. Sunwoo's lips are soft like they are before, and now there's a sense of familiarity, as if you're returning to where you belong. He kisses you so delicately, like he cares, like this is a moment that you've never known but will never get back. The way his plush lips seem to melt into yours like there's no space where one ends and the other begins. And in any world, this should be enough to convince the flowers that your love has been reciprocated and was never unrequited at all.

You feel it again—the fluttering of petals, the movements of the branches ever so slightly. The pressure in your chest. They follow his every movement like they always do, like they're trying to soak up as much sunshine as they can get. But then they stop.

They stop like they're completely gone, and there's an apparent emptiness like they were never there. You can still feel the way your heart speeds up at each of Sunwoo's gentle touches and there's the pull that's always been there, telling you to get closer until there's no space between the two of you. But those are the things that have always been there, before the flowers have taken over.

When Sunwoo pulls back, he's speechless for a while. Hovering over you like he doesn't want to be apart quite yet. "I've been thinking about that since the party," he gives a lopsided smile. "Thought you ran out because you hated it."

"So this wasn't about finding a solution?" You raise an eyebrow at him, and the tips of his ears immediately redden.

"Sorry, I just—well, yes, it was kind of an excuse to kiss you." He settles into his seat, hand finding its way back to yours. "But we will find a solution. There has to be one."

And maybe there is one.

The emptiness you felt a moment ago, the lack of response from the tiny plants residing in your body—are they not signs of what's happening? That instead of having the disease progress further, maybe the kiss and the confession and the ending of a lie were the solutions to ending this situation once and for all.

You half expect a branch to be sticking right out of your chest, that maybe it's not a solution you're feeling but the opposite of one. But when you look down, there's nothing there.

Nothing except for the slow realization dawning upon the both of you.

"No way," Sunwoo's eyes widen as he reads the expressions that must be fleeting across your face. "Did it actually—please tell me it worked."

"I don't know." You don't want to give him false hope which would only fuel your own hope that you're holding onto. "I can't feel it. Nothing's happening and I—I don't know what's going on."

But perhaps the flowers were never really about the person you love being unable to return your feelings, but rather what you believed. Perhaps they weren't a glitch and Sunwoo wasn't lying about being in love with you either, but rather they stemmed from the fact that you never gave him a chance to tell you or show you. You were so fixated on the consequences of your feelings not being returned that you never gave yourself the chance to believe otherwise.

"It actually worked," Sunwoo breathes, pulling you out of your thoughts. "Y/N, we did it. We really did it."

This time, the weight on your chest isn't from the presence of little plants filling your lungs but rather the weight of Sunwoo's body crushing you in a hug. The warmth you feel isn't from a fever or sickness but from his touch and perhaps this time it's no longer the flowers that bloom, but rather the hope and the love between you.

im fucking sobbung help

KIDULT 2/2 | J.CM

꒰ synopsis ꒱ changmin always believed he was never fond of children, especially when he took the job at your daycare. little did he know the child in him was playing hide and seek, finally revealing itself after growing to love the kids. oh, and you too

꒰ pairing ꒱ daycareworker!changmin x genderneutral!reader

꒰ genre ꒱ strangers to lovers, daycare au, slow burn, fluff, angst, features hyunjae and the rest of the boyz as children

꒰ warnings ꒱ children, car accident, major character death, descriptions of blood, sprinkled bits of profanity and capitalization, and an overall merry bad ending

꒰ word count ꒱ 41.2k+ ( 14.3k+ )

꒰ perspective ꒱ 2nd person omniscient

‘ playlist two ›› spotify, youtube

‘ author's note!! 🍃 — this fic is for @junjungsunwoo 's merry bad ending collab!! biggest thanks to @pjmaparty , @fullsunfluff , @bbanghoonie , and @heejojo for beta reading!! this is the second part out of two <3

‘ taglist ›› @nilesig @reniqt @sunfics @wooyoung-a @kimaya2209 @frickyratz @deputyjuyeon @stealanity @hwallswrld @kyu-rious @changminurheart

NAVIGATION | TBZ MASTERLIST | PART ONE

The jingle from the front doors makes your ears perk, rushing out the playroom and into the entrance. The sight of Changmin never fails to bring a smile to your face, and you immediately wrap your arms around his waist, greeting him with a kiss on his nose.

“You’re here later than usual.”

He sets down his umbrella after closing it and returns the kiss by pressing one onto your cheek. “It’s only 6:10am, dummy. I was struggling to find my umbrella.”

“It just felt way longer since Hyunjae has been here for an hour.”

The statement causes Changmin’s smile to vanish, his lips being slightly parted due to the shock.

But before you allow him to speak, you release him from your hold, dragging him inside the playroom to say hi to the eight-year-old.

“Teacher Changmin!!” the boy squeals, dropping his pencil onto the table before running over to the taller male, engulfing him in a life threatening hug. “I was so bored.”

The statement makes you scoff loudly, standing by your desk as you watch the two. “I said we could watch a movie if you wanted to.”

Hyunjae happily allows himself to be brought into Changmin’s arms, giggling at how he’s now taller than you. “We can’t watch a movie without popcorn.”

Changmin nods, shifting his gaze from Hyunjae over to you. “He’s right, you know. No movie is ever good without popcorn.”

All of a sudden, the male gasps loudly, remembering the plan he had for the day. “Hyunjae, want to go shopping with me? Let’s get some popcorn.”

“Shopping?” Hyunjae’s eyes light up, struggling to remain still in Changmin’s arms after hearing the suggestion. “Shopping??” he repeats.

“Yes, shopping.” Changmin laughs at Hyunjae’s enthusiasm, the corner of his lips tugging slightly upwards. “Teacher Y/N can’t come though.”

He looks over at you, fully expecting your eyebrows furrowing at his response.

“Why can’t I come?”

“The daycare’s opened, remember?” He sets Hyunjae on the ground, urging him to clean up his belongings. “We’re going to be gone for a while.”

“I’m assuming you’re not just going to buy popcorn, are you?” A frown makes its way to your face, slowing your breathing in the process.

“Perhaps.”

You sigh, not wanting to question him any further. You know Changmin has his reasons; he always does, and regardless of what explanation he gives you, you’ll still have to stay within the daycare to look after the other boys.

“You’re going to miss what I have planned for this morning, though…” Your words trail off, your gaze falling to the ground. It’s an understatement to say that you were excited for what you had planned, especially since it relates to one of your ‘dates’ in the past.

“We won’t be gone for long, okay? I’m just going to be stealing him for a few hours.” He cracks a smile and goes to stand in front of you, taking your hand in his. Changmin easily reassures you with a kiss on the lips while his thumb unconsciously rubs the back of your hand. “We’ll be back before you know it.”

Feeling his plump lips gently pressed against your fingers is what convinces you to let him go for the time being, nodding. “...Okay okay, don’t take too long. I’m going to miss the two of my favorite boys.”

“We won’t.” A cheeky smile is brought to his face when he goes back in to kiss you once more, subtly linking his pinky with yours. “We’ll miss you more.”

The kiss would’ve lasted longer if Hyunjae didn’t finish cleaning as fast, running over to Changmin with a loud ‘I’m done!’.

“Have fun, okay?” You wave Hyunjae goodbye as Changmin picks him up again, walking the two outside the daycare.

//

“My butt hurts,” Hyunjae whines, desperate to leave the car.

“A thirty minute ride is not that long,” Changmin mumbles, unbuckling the boy out of his seat.

“Yes it is!” he counters, stretching his limbs. “If my butt hurts, that means the car ride was long!”

“Your butt is fine.” Changmin gives Hyunjae’s butt a gentle pat after helping him out of the car, closing the door shut behind him.

“We could’ve just walked to get popcorn,” he huffs.

Changmin looks up at the sky, glad they no longer need an umbrella due to the rain lessening immensely. He takes Hyunjae’s hand into his, tightly holding onto it as they cross the street over to the line of stores. “We’re not only here for popcorn, you know.”

“Then why are we here?” Hyunjae asks, looking up at the male.

“To buy a special something for a special someone.” A smile grows onto Changmin’s lips when he gives the explanation, not including any more hints for the sole purpose of wanting the boy to figure it out himself.

It finally clicks when Hyunjae is brought to the outside of a jewelry store, shaking Changmin’s hand aggressively while jumping up and down. “Are you buying a ring for Teacher Y/N??”

Changmin laughs, pushing the door open for the two to enter. “Bingo.”

Hyunjae bites back a squeal, letting go of Changmin’s hand to run over to the shelves of rings displayed behind glass panels.

Changmin heads over to the counter, greeting the worker with a warm smile before explaining his situation. Meanwhile, Hyunjae is busy roaming around the store in awe at the amount of diamonds he was seeing. Constant oohs and aahs are heard from the child while the two adults are conversing about the upcoming planned proposal.

“When do you plan on proposing?” the young worker asks, resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she looks at Changmin dreamily.

“Soon, actually. Maybe next week? This kid’s birthday is soon, and I want it to be sort of a gift to him, you know?” Changmin gestures over to Hyunjae before peeking over his shoulder, seeing the eight-year-old on his tippy toes with his face pressed up against the glass.

“That is soon! I hope you find your special ring here, then.” She follows his gaze and spots the boy, her lips forming into an ‘o’. “Is that your son?” she asks, her gaze flickering between Hyunjae and Changmin to see if she could spot any resemblance.

The layer of pink forming on Changmin’s cheeks show how much the question caught him off guard, stutters falling past his lips. “Oh- uh, uhm, n-no, no he isn’t.”

“Teacher Changmin!!” Hyunjae exclaims immediately after, waving to the teacher to come over.

The worker is able to connect the dots after hearing the call and nods, the smile on her lips never faltering.

Changmin goes over to Hyunjae and crouches down by his side, peering into the glass. “What’s up, Hyunjae?”

“Look! That ring reminds me of Teacher Y/N!”

The worker behind the counter joins the two boys, checking to see what the little boy was referring to.

“That one?” Changmin asks, pointing to one of the rings.

Hyunjae shakes his head, adjusting Changmin’s finger by taking it into his own fingers and pointing to the one he was talking about. “That one! The one with the twisty thing.”

Changmin lets out an ‘ah’ at the sight of it, admiring the ring for a few seconds before speaking.

“It’s simple. I like that.”

“That’s our twisted halo ring,” the worker introduces, grabbing the two boys’ attention. “I’d love to bring an extra out to show you if you’d like.”

Changmin puts his hands on his thighs and stands up, nodding. “That’d be wonderful, thank you.”

Hyunjae begins to tug on Changmin’s hand, pulling the teacher back down to his height. “Halo ring??” he whispers.

When Changmin shows his confusion by tilting his head, Hyunjae moves to reach for the paper in Changmin’s back pocket, knowing that it would be there. Ever since he received Hyunjae’s painting from you, he makes sure to always bring it everywhere with him, considering it good luck. Hyunjae only found out about it recently when Changmin flaunted it off one night, saying that the painting is why he won a certain carnival game.

Considering it’s been two years since Hyunjae has painted it, some of the paint has definitely chipped off, but the halo continues to remain on the top of your head, always managing to bring a smile to everyone’s faces at the sight of it.

Hyunjae unfolds it and points to the halo, shoving the painting in front of Changmin’s face. “See? Halo!!”

“Some things are just meant to be, aren’t they?” Changmin sighs, taking the paper into his own hands. He admires it and the little details Hyunjae has managed to add, reminiscing the day he saw it for the first time ever. Little did he know he would actually get to be with you. “Dang, Hyunjae. I can’t believe you painted this when you were six.”

“Can I paint a better one?” he offers. “With a brush? That one looks terrible because I used my finger.”

Changmin ponders the idea, tucking the piece of paper back into his pocket after refolding it. He decides to mess around with the boy, patting his head. “I don’t know, Hyunjae,” he murmurs, cupping his cheek. “This one means a lot to me…”

It hurts his heart when he sees Hyunjae’s face fall, but he keeps up his act, grazing his thumb over his skin.

Shortly after, the worker returns with a box in her hands, placing it onto the counter, and before it could drag Changmin’s attention away, the teacher goes to lean into Hyunjae’s ear.

“A new painting would make a great wedding present, by the way,” he whispers.

And with a wink, he leaves the boy to head over to the counter, unable to stop smiling after seeing Hyunjae’s happy demeanor return.

//

“We’re back!!”

Although Changmin announces it to the class, his eyes are strictly locked onto you. You’re sitting by the teacher’s desk, writing something. You don’t pay attention to him whatsoever, the pen still moving in your hand.

Hyunjae greets the other boys and runs over to Juyeon’s table, joining him and Hyungseo to see what they are doing.

Changmin frowns at the lack of a reaction from you and makes his way over to your desk, but by then, you are hidden, doing something fairly quickly below the desk before revealing yourself to him.

“It’s about time you noticed my presence,” he huffs, setting the grocery bag on the table.

“I was doing something, Jichang.” You roll your eyes and sit up from your seat, eyeing the bag Changmin just sat down. All it has is a box of popcorn packs inside, making you raise a brow. “It took you five hours to only buy popcorn?”

“Let’s just say we got distracted.” He grins, turning his head to face the other children only to realize the amount of flowers within the playroom.

The counters with sinks are decorated with flowers in vases while the rounded tables are full of scattered petals and leaves. The boys are playing with the flowers, some of them making flower crowns while the other ones are sorting the petals into piles by their colors.

Younghoon grins at his finished product and rises from his seat, walking over to Changmin. “I made this for you,” he explains. He brings the linked daisies up into the air, revealing a flower crown with the heads tucked into the stems.

“You made one for Changmin and not me?” you gasp, dramatically throwing a playful fit that Younghoon was surely used to.

“Chanhee is making yours right now, Teacher Y/N. He broke it, so he’s restarting.”

Changmin leans down and tilts his head forward, allowing Younghoon to crown him with the daisies. He gives Younghoon a tight hug and whispers a thank you before waving him off.

“Still can’t believe you got yours first,” you mumble, and Changmin chortles. He leans in to kiss the top of your head, unable to go ten minutes without showering you with affection.

“You’ll get yours soon. Don’t worry, honey.” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, humming.

“Honey? That’s a new one.”

“It’s cute. I’ll try to use it more for you.”

You smile, resting your head against his shoulder as you gaze at the boys, all ten of them doing something completely different.

“You know, I was going to have them clean up for lunch, but they all wanted another half hour to finish.” You reach to wrap your fingers around his pinky, holding onto it. “They wanted to wait for you and Hyunjae.”

“What did you have them do? Make flower crowns?” He uses his free hand to play with your hair.

“Kind of.” You look up at Changmin while wearing a crooked smile, one that made his heart burst. “See the vases of flowers on the counters? The boys made those themselves. I actually got a majority of the flowers from the field a few miles away, remember?”

He raises a brow, letting his hand drop to the side. “The one where I got stung?”

“Precisely. Also!!-” You remove your head from his shoulder and move behind your desk, bending down just like you were earlier. You take out a white vase with purple flowers shoved into it, and the sight almost makes Changmin laugh.

“I may or may not have cheated a bit and bought a few extra purple flowers from a nearby flower shop, but I’d say it’s worth it, don't you think?” You smile at the assortment of flowers, but when you turn to look at Changmin, he has a hand over his mouth, truly trying his best to contain his laughter.

“You can laugh, you know,” you sigh, setting the vase onto the table. You fully expected this response from him, especially with how messy the assortment came out to be, so you aren’t at all offended.

“I’m sorry it just- Y/N did you make that?”

“Kind of? The other boys helped me with it, and we all kind of struggled, but purple is your favorite color, right?”

He nods, bringing the vase into his own hands.

“In all honesty, I would’ve fixed it, but the messiness is kind of what makes it- special. It reminds me of how we met too.”

Your sheepish tone softens Changmin immediately, gazing at the flowers. “How so?”

“Well,” you begin, “if you think about it- our first impression of each other wasn’t the best. I thought you were incompetent.”

He shoots his head up to look at you, snorting at the comment. “Then why did you hire me?”

“I was desperate, but that’s not the point,” you grumble, taking the vase from him. “It’s just….the way we met- it’s like, well, it wasn’t perfect, but it...it was real, nonetheless.” You started playing with the petals, running your fingers across the smooth surfaces. “Just like these flowers. They’re not the best looking bunch out there, but they’re real.”

You set the vase aside. “I considered buying fake ones so they would last longer, but I decided against it.” You then look at him. “They look pretty regardless, don’t you think?”

He looks at them and smiles. “They do.”

“But, all that aside, what had you gone for five hours, Mr. Ji?” You look at him skeptically, teasing him through your tone.

He grins, playing along with your words by teasing you in return. “Nothing in particular. Why do you ask?”

“You’re not keeping something from me, are you?” You cross your arms over your chest, pouting.

“Hm...maaaaybe.” He has his arms behind his back, looking at you like a kid that’s hiding a secret from their parents.

“Teacher Y/N!!” Chanhee interrupts, erupting from his seat. He waves the chained daisies in the air. “I finished your crown!!” he yells.

Changmin urges you over to the boy, forcing you to forget your previous conversation.

“Don’t think I’ll forget about this,” you mutter.

“I’ll tell you in a few days, okay? Now go over to him to be crowned the love of my life.”

//

The day has finally arrived, and Changmin’s worry is constantly bubbling up within him, unable to stay in one spot.

While the rest of the kids are in the parking lot, you, Changmin, and Hyunjae are in the playroom to gather last minute items.

Well, only you are doing so.

Changmin is busy pacing around behind you, gaze constantly shifting between the box in his hands and your back turned to him. He’s always been confident in whatever he did, but to be proposing was just on another level Changmin wasn’t used to.

Thoughts flooded his head, clearing his throat every few seconds. You would turn around to see if he was alright, but he would shrug it off, saying that he was just excited for Hyunjae’s birthday.

Hyunjae snorts loudly when hearing Changmin’s lame excuse, leaving the round tables to grab Changmin’s hand. He pulls Changmin away from you and to the other side of the room, explaining that he needed help with putting on the party hat.

He brings Changmin over to your desk, making him crouch down before asking him the question he refused to stop pestering Changmin about.

“You have the ring, right?” he asks, furiously shaking his hand. The excitement radiating off of Hyunjae causes his whisper to be way louder than intended, making Changmin’s eyes widen.

The teacher hushes him, praying that you hadn’t heard what Hyunjae ever so carelessly asked.

He looks at you standing by the sinks, and thankfully you haven’t reacted whatsoever. You are too busy moving around the playroom to even care about what the two were talking about, much less doing, taking the utensils out of the plastic bags you put them in.

“I do, Hyunjae, and no, I’m not showing you for the nth time.” He rolls his eyes, tightening his grip around the navy blue box.

Hyunjae frowns, taking note of the fist Changmin’s creating in his right hand. The teacher grabs one of the party hats off of your desk and snaps it onto the birthday boy’s head, eliciting an ‘ow’ out of him.

“It’s your birthday,” Changmin reminds, booping his nose with his finger.

“Yeah, but-....but still!!” Hyunjae begins to whine, throwing an unnecessary fit.

Throughout the two and a half years of knowing Hyunjae, Changmin learned that Hyunjae doesn’t really make a fit out of anything unnecessary. It was a change from the other boys you two watched over, but it didn’t settle correctly within him.

So despite how loud Hyunjae got with his whines, Changmin could only smile, glad that the boy is comfortable enough to throw a playful fit over something that doesn’t even have to do with him.

He sets the box onto the ground to cup both of Hyunjae’s cheeks, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead. Being with the young boy really calmed his nerves, especially when he takes the box back into his fingers with ease.

“C’mon Hyunjae, let’s go outside. The other boys have been waiting for you for a while now.” Changmin extends his left hand, wiggling his fingers.

Hyunjae grabs it after sniffing loudly, adjusting the hat on top of his head as the two begin to make their way to the door.

Changmin peeks over his shoulder to look at you, his eyes becoming locked onto your figure. His heart is pounding against his chest as he’s reminded of how today is the day. The day you’ll become more than a tango duo that has been sharing sweet little nothings and kisses for the past two years.

You’re dressed beautifully, as always, but your fits for special occasions never fail to make him extremely flustered, truly taken aback by your beauty.

“You coming, Y/N?” he asks, garnering you attention by amplifying his voice.

“One sec!” you call out, informing the two. You dump the remaining utensils into the paper plates and rush over to the boys with the stack in your hand. You reach out to hold onto Hyunjae’s other hand, looking down at him with a warm smile that has resided on your face. “Excited?”

“More than ever,” he responds, nodding furiously. He then resumes to pull the two of you out the playroom and outside the daycare, harshly tugging onto your hands.

“Let’s go!” the now nine-year-old commands.

With how much Hyunjae is tugging on your hand, it almost makes you drop your plates, and Changmin laughs at how cute you are when you stumble over your feet.

“Careful, Hyunjae,” Changmin warns when beginning to cross the street, constantly looking both ways before allowing the boy to walk over to the parking lot.

Hyunjae continues to lead the two teachers to the nine other boys occupying themselves by the tables in the parking lot, loud music blasting through the speakers you displayed earlier.

Hyunjae releases both of your hands when Youngjae tosses a balloon at his face, charging at the six-year-old when the younger boy cackles.

“Can you lower the music? I’ll light the candles.” You approach him with a gentle kiss to his cheek, setting the plates down by the cake Sangyeon helped you place.

Changmin does exactly as you say, and by the time the music is lowered, you have gotten all nine candles on the cake to light up. Sangyeon is the one who initiates the birthday song, singing it very loudly for others to join in.

And unlike Karaoke Sundays, you join along in the singing, clapping your hands along to the rhythm while you’re watching a bouncy Hyunjae make his way over to the cake.

He blows out the candles once the song ends, causing everyone to clap.

“Should we do cake first or presents?” you ask, letting the birthday boy decide.

“Cake!!” Haknyeon shouts, bringing the attention over to him.

You’re playfully sending a glare towards the interruption while Hyunjae smiles brightly, agreeing. “We can do cake,” he affirms.

As you’re busy cutting the cake, Changmin has unintentionally drifted to the opposite side of the parking lot, resuming his pacing in his spot. His fingers fiddle with the box in his hand, wondering how he should come across this proposal. It doesn’t help that he hasn’t even asked you (much less anyone else) out before, so to be proposing gave him another level of anxiety.

Changmin has already celebrated Hyunjae’s birthday twice in the past, but this one certainly proves different. This one is special. The present he has for Hyunjae is something he’d never be able to outdo in the future years to come, and even Hyunjae knows that.

So it explains why the youngster sprints over to Changmin instead of standing in line for his slice, tugging on his shirt rather aggressively.

“Now??” he whines, practically begging Changmin to get it over with.

Changmin feels his breath hitch in his throat, growing hesitant with every passing second. His mind is running with countless thoughts, unable to organize them. This causes his brain to malfunction, realizing that this maybe wasn’t a good idea after all.

“Hyunjae, maybe-...maybe this isn’t a good idea. I haven’t even asked Y/N out. It’s too early, I don’t think I can do this. I’m- I don’t know, I’m sorry Hyunjae. Maybe another time?”

But Hyunjae completely disregards every word that leaves Changmin’s mouth and reaches for the male’s closed fist. He pulls the teacher’s fingers open to retrieve the box, running away with it in his hold.

Changmin stares at him in disbelief, his arm still being extended outwards with his hand empty of the box. Changmin has been holding onto that box ever since he arrived at the daycare, and for it to be taken from his grasp for more than ten seconds made his heart plummet. He wants to chase after Hyunjae, to take it back, and never show his face again due to the embarrassment shooting up his neck.

Hyunjae’s party hat falls off his head when he reaches you, but he doesn’t care, panting as he reaches to poke your side.

“Hyunjae!!” you yell, flinching at the touch. “You can’t surprise me when I have a knife in my hand,” you frown, setting it aside after handing Haknyeon his rather large slice of cake.

Without saying a word, Hyunjae raises the box into your view by presenting it in the palm of his hands, looking at you with wide eyes.

Meanwhile, Changmin’s suffering in the background, his feet unable to move as he bites on his fist. His mind is constantly running with thoughts of grabbing Hyunjae and tossing him across the world for doing such a thing. He wants to reverse time and never have bought the ring in the first place, the idea of rejection stabbing at his heart repeatedly.

You raise a brow at the sight of the unfamiliar navy box, bringing it into your hold.

Changmin starts to sob internally when seeing you open the box, moving to hide behind one of the set out unfoldable chairs. And just like a kid, he brings his hands over his ears, preparing himself for the worst possible outcome with his knees pressed up against his chest.

But his self-deprecating state doesn’t falter Hyunjae’s smile in the process; if anything, it only made it grow impossibly wider, bright eyes anticipating your reaction.

All the boys have stopped whatever they were doing to look at you, only now realizing what was happening.

Your eyes finally fall onto the ring in the box, and your heart nearly stops in your chest. Although your lips are parted, you’re left with no words to speak.

You have no clue what to feel.

But you know your answer. Your mind is chanting ‘yes’ repeatedly in your head as you think of the future the diamond ring holds, but the most important man is missing from the scene.

You scan the parking lot for Changmin and spot him instantly behind one of the chairs.

If it wasn’t for his white shirt flowing through the breeze, Sunwoo and Youngjae pointing at him definitely gave it away.

With shaky fingers, you close the box. You’re nervous yourself; hell, this is the last thing you were expecting on a day like this. You make your way over to the chair with slow steps, Hyunjae quick to tail after you.

You’re finally able to bring the entirety of Changmin into your view when you approach him. His eyes are closed incredibly shut with his arms wrapped tightly around his legs, slowly rocking back and forth in his spot.

The sight makes you melt in your spot, and seeing him only confirms the fact you want to be with him. You want to be with him until the end, until your very last dying breath, and you need him to cooperate with you. Just like the day Changmin confessed, you are now basically begging for a response from him, wanting to hear that he does want to get married to you.

He senses your presence and peeks an eye open at you, closing it immediately after at the sight of you holding the box.

“Peek-a-boo,” you whisper, removing the chair so you could see him clearer.

You can hear Sunwoo snickering in the background, but it quickly turns into wheezes when Chanhee elbows him in the chest.

Changmin opens his eyes again at the sound of your voice, slowly allowing his gaze to meet yours. He smiles warmly, slightly waving his hand up towards you. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” you laugh, grabbing one of his arms to pull him up onto his feet.

He immediately breaks out into incoherent rambles, fixing his dress shirt. “I- uh, well Y/N, heh, you see, uhm...funny story, actually-”

You cut him off by waving the box in his face, handing it to him. “I’m assuming this is yours.”

Changmin drops it like it’s fire, raising his hands up in the air defensively. Hyunjae groans at the teacher’s stupidity, and Youngjae is giggling in the background, shortly joined by Sunwoo and Juyeon.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about!! That- that isn’t mine, uhm, yeah. Who-...who told you it was mine?” His nervous laughter trails off when he scratches the back of his, his cheeks being completely flushed with a bright shade of pink.

“Who knew Teacher Changmin could be this embarrassing?” Haknyeon grumbles, shoving a forkful of cake into his mouth. Sangyeon reaches over the table to slap the blonde boy’s head, telling him to shut up.

You’re sending daggers towards Changmin’s way through your gaze, bending down to pick up the box. Thankfully, you’re easily calmed down by Haknyeon’s comment, laughing to yourself.

Changmin has his hands dropped to his sides, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he eyes the box in your hands. He doesn’t say anything else, knowing the situation will only turn out worse if he utters another word.

Because of this, you understood that this won’t be going anywhere. Changmin will continue to deny his possession being his, and it would be no use just standing there, trying to hand the engagement ring back to him.

So you take matters into your own hands, heart racing as your mind impulsively makes you move down onto one knee.

You certainly weren’t expecting to propose on Hyunjae’s birthday, but regardless of that fact, your hands move on their own accord, opening the box to present the ring to him.

Hyunjae is holding back squeals in the background, you could tell, and he’s grabbing onto Juyeon’s hand, holding it tightly as he anticipates what’s going to happen next.

And with a whisper, you finally ask the awaited question.

“Changmin, will you marry me?”

He, along with the other boys, gapes at your response, and Hyunjae screams ‘YES’, shaking Juyeon by his shoulders.

The smile lingering on your lips shows Changmin that you already know his answer, but you continue to stay on one knee, waiting for a reply.

Changmin feels like screaming, wanting to say ‘yes’ instantly just to reassure you. He wants to pull you up onto your feet and press his lips against yours, keeping you in his arms until the world ends. He wants to scream ‘we’re getting married’ and show you off to the world, but he does none of it as he stands there in shock, growing weak at the ever so pretty sight of your smile.

“Oh brother,” Hyunjae mutters, letting go of Juyeon’s shoulder to run over to the two of you.

He pulls the ring out of the box and knees Changmin’s thighs, getting him to react. “Say yes,” he demands, grabbing his hand to shove the ring onto his finger.

Changmin wheezes out a ‘yes’ in pain, rubbing his thigh as Hyunjae figures out how to get it to fit. The ring was too small for all of his fingers. Well, all but one.

So he slips it onto his pinky finger, giving you a tight hug once you thank him.

He runs back to where he was previously standing, and you get onto your feet, brushing off any dirt that remained on your knee.

You finally look at Changmin and notice the way he’s gazing at the ring. It was meant for you, so to see the ring on his finger only made his mind go dizzier.

Before you could say anything, Changmin looks up and doesn’t hesitate to bring you close against him, linking the pinky with one of yours.

“I’d say yes a million times. Yes, I’ll marry you. Yes, I’ll be your husband. Yes, I’m yours.” He uses his other hand to cup your cheek, making your eyes lock with his. “Holy fuck, I’m yours.”

You laugh loudly, happiness filling up your lungs. You swing your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a quick kiss.

“You’re real,” you whisper against his lips, half hooded eyes looking into his. “You’re real, and you’re mine.”

“I’m forever yours,” he murmurs, “and you’re forever mine.”

That’s the last thing you hear from him before he pulls you into another kiss, pressing a hand up against your back.

//

You have a book in your hands when Changmin exits your bathroom, purposely having his entrance to your bedroom go unnoticed as you continue to ‘read’.

He’s about to flaunt how good he looks after moisturizing when you don’t even spare him a glare, sending him into a pout when he reaches your bed. “You’re not even reading that,” he mumbles.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re reading it backwards,” Changmin points out, referring to how you keep flipping the pages into the opposite direction. He adjusts his flannel pajamas before joining you on your bed, letting out a content sigh at the fluffiness of your blankets.

“I have powers you’re not aware of,” you hum matter-of-factly.

A ‘hey!’ escapes you when Changmin snatches the book from your grasp, confiscating it for the time being.

He reaches over you to set the book on the nightstand, taking note of the time displayed on the alarm clock.

“It’s-...nine pm, Y/N,” he states before looking back at you. “It’s our first time together in your apartment at this time. I’m not letting you ignore me with a book.”

When you think about his words, he isn’t wrong. For the past year, you’ve been inviting Changmin to stay the night in your apartment whenever it got too late (an example being Hyunjae being picked up in the middle of the night). But otherwise, he’s never been here earlier than 11pm.

The crack of thunder accompanies the silence that washes through the atmosphere, and Changmin moves to bring the blankets over both of your torsos, making sure you’re comfortable. He doesn’t even question your lack of words, knowing you’re thinking about something whenever creases form on your forehead.

He rests on his side with his head propped up onto his hand, waiting for you to notice him staring at you while the rain patters against the windows.

It takes a few minutes before you finally notice him, heat shooting up to your ears when your eyes unintentionally lock with his. He smiles at your shyness, pulling you to lie down with him.

“What are you thinking about, honey?” Changmin has you close to him when he runs his fingers through your hair, fluffing it up.

The pet name never fails to calm you.

“About us,” you respond simply.

“Us?” He helps to untangle the knots in your hair, gently loosening them.

The room is dimly lit, but that changes only for a mere second when the lightning decides to be present. Though, it only adds to your comfort, knowing you’re safe in Changmin’s embrace.

“We entirely skipped the dating stage, didn’t we?”

His movements stutter at your question. “...Kind of? I mean yeah, basically, but I don’t mind.” Changmin pauses, shifting his gaze from your hair and down to your eyes. “Do you?”

You shake your head, pulling his hand out of your hair. “The thing is- I just never really got a chance to call you….my boyfriend.” The last part becomes a whisper, focusing on interlacing your fingers with his.

He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, the sounds of the rain eventually drowning out as he makes you his focal point.

And out of nowhere, he sighs dramatically, letting go of your hand to look at the ceiling. “Alas, it’s a loss.”

You slap his chest for talking like that, a throaty cackle escaping him shortly after. He brings an arm over his forehead, continuing to stare at the ceiling and the shadows of the window panel.

“But honestly? Y/N?” He turns his head to look at you. “I prefer fiancé.”

You giggle at how he’s always managed to be so smooth, rolling your eyes. He goes back to turning his entire body to have it face yours, sticking out his pinky. “Can you believe we’re engaged?”

The question makes you scoff, laughing. “Can you believe we’re going to be married?” you counterattacked, linking your pinky with his. “Us?”

He raises his brows. “Wow, I’m hurt. Personally, I think I look stunning in a suit.”

Your toothy smile shines through the dark when you look at him. “I actually don’t doubt that one bit.”

The playful atmosphere seems to fade when you’re given time to just get lost in each other’s eyes, slowly retracting your pinky from his.

He looks down at his fingers, and reality finally settles in.

“We’re going to get married,” he whispers.

Changmin then realizes there’s something he’s planned on doing yet never did earlier that day, so he gets you to sit up with him. You’re confused, as expected, but you slowly start to understand when he wiggles the ring off of his finger.

He asks for your hand and slowly slips it onto your ring finger, and the added weight takes a toll on your heart. It stops beating in your chest, and only now do you understand why Changmin was looking at his finger ever so lovingly earlier at Hyunjae’s party. This time, you’re the one that’s finally able to admire the diamond and the curves of the ring, finding it absolutely gorgeous.

“When are we going to get married?” you ask, looking up at him. “Where? And our honeymoon? There’s so many things we need to plan-” you pause. “We’re making Hyunjae our best man, no exceptions.”

“Definitely,” Changmin affirms, clicking his tongue. “The boy is one hundred percent mature enough to make an entire speech about our relationship.”

You laugh, agreeing with the nod of your head. “Okay, but seriously, Changmin. How are we going to plan all of this? We’re just- two losers working at a daycare.”

“Two soon-to-be-married losers,” he corrects. He brings you into his lap, allowing you to rest your forearms on his shoulders while he rests his hands by your sides. He then lowers his tone, whispering. “Let’s worry about everything another time, okay? We have so many years ahead of us.”

He continues his rant while his fingers play with the fabric of your shirt. “We don’t have to get married this year or the next. Hell, we don’t have to get married the year after that. As long as you’re always by my side, we’ll be together forever.” He leans in to press a fluttering kiss against your jaw.

“Okay okay,” you murmur, reassured by his words. You bring your hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks, and he immediately falls into the warmth of your palms, an unbearable amount of butterflies forming in his stomach especially when you whisper ‘my fiancé’ before kissing his nose.

The comfortable silence returns, and all you two do is hold each other while the storm crashes down onto your windows. But no single clash of thunder makes either of you two flinch, too lost in each other’s touch to even notice.

“Y/N?” Changmin croaks, voice lower than usual.

“Yes?”

He hesitates, his words coming out breathy.

“Y/N?” he repeats.

“What’s wrong, my love?”

The name causes a smile to bloom onto his face, laughing as he shakes his head. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“So you just like saying my name for fun now?” you tease, squishing his cheeks with your fingers.

The playfulness dials down eventually, and you rest your head against his shoulder with your eyes fallen shut. The tranquility wrapped around the two of you brings Changmin confidence once again, repeating your name for the third time.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“...I lov-”

He’s cut off by your ringtone blaring throughout the bedroom, causing both of your heads to turn to the direction of the noise. You apologize through a murmur after rubbing your eyes, leaving Changmin’s lap to check your phone. You’re immediately kicked out of your tiresome state when you see the caller id, accepting the call.

Changmin watches you curiously, and he doesn’t get a chance to hear a single word from the other line since you brought your phone up to your ear. He shrugs it off as a personal matter but notices how you don’t speak a single word into the call, making him confused when it ends.

Your face is now far from the cheerfulness you were feeling earlier, standing up from the edge of your bed.

“Who was that?” he questions, crawling over to the edge of the bed. “Why were they calling at this hour?”

You toss your phone into his lap and make your way over to the closet in hurried steps, taking out your raincoat.

Changmin grows worried at your silence, and it isn’t until he notices the bright light illuminating from your phone, taking a glance at the caller id.

Hyunjae’s mother.

//

“There he is,” you whisper, freeing yourself from the buckle in Changmin’s passenger seat before exiting the car.

Throughout the entire drive to the daycare, Changmin’s face remained completely void of emotions, his jaw clenched as he sped through the storm.

He slams the car door shut when leaving, and the two of you run across the street without sparing a glance to oncoming cars, racing to the entrance of the daycare.

Usually, Changmin would be complaining about the storm being ever so heavy in the middle of autumn, but with how focused he is on the situation at hand, he doesn’t give one single damn about the rain crashing down onto the two of you.

The boom of thunder doesn’t startle either of you in the slightest; if anything, it was the sight of Hyunjae sitting under the roof of the entrance that makes your heart drop, the boy trying to gain warmth by hugging his legs.

He’s facing the ground until he hears the sound of running footsteps his way, his heart pounding hard against his chest. Maybe it’s a sense of a relief that washes over him when he sees you two, but the tears that were pooling up in his eyes finally rush down his cheeks in streams, breaking the dam that he’s been holding up for so long.

He sobs when you crouch down to his level, quick to pull him into your embrace.

“We’re here, Hyunjae, we’re here,” you murmur.

The warmth of being in someone else’s embrace only makes him cry hard, little fingers clutching onto your wet coat.

After pulling out his keys and unlocking the doors, Changmin nearly breaks the glass doors down when shoving them open, ushering the two of you inside.

He’s the first one to enter the playroom after flicking on the lights, and you pull Hyunjae to the side, making him look at you.

The boy is breaking down in front of you, having his tears fall into the palm of your hands when you cup his cheeks. He’s holding onto your wrists, fingernails digging into your skin as he continues to sob. He’s growing weaker each second, unsure if he’ll be able to stand for any longer.

The sight of seeing your favorite boy like this rips you apart, choking up on your own tears as you do your best to reassure him, reminding him that both you and Changmin are here and that he’s okay.

Through his tears, Hyunjae is looking at you like you’re completely unreal, and his tearful, broken gaze pierces your heart.

Changmin returns with a roll of paper towels and sets them aside before taking Hyunjae from you, one knee on the ground as he makes the crying boy look at him.

“What happened?” he interrogates, showing no sense of pain as he stares at him. Fury continues to boil up within his chest when Hyunjae doesn’t respond, amplifying his voice throughout the daycare.

“What happened, Hyunjae?” he repeats. The question is more of a hostile demand, his fingers wrapped tightly around the boy’s wrist. His tone only makes Hyunjae cry even more, unable to keep himself up for any longer.

You rush over to Hyunjae and take him back into your arms, letting him curl up against your torso while you stare at Changmin.

Changmin doesn’t ease up in the slightest, only growing even more furious as he allows his hands to ball up into fists. His eyes are constantly flickering between Hyunjae and the storm outside, mind running with possibilities of what could’ve happened if you two didn’t get to him sooner.

“M-my m-mommy-” Hyunjae croaks, trying to get words out of his throat before falling right back into his sobs, burying his face in your chest with his fingers bunching up your shirt into a fist.

“That’s it,” Changmin spits, not regretting a single punch of hatred he’s had for Hyunjae’s mother.

“Changmin,” you say sternly in hopes of calming him down, knowing how out of control he could become when unsupervised.

Changmin rises from the ground and makes his way behind the front desk, yanking the drawer open. He flips through the files and comes across the one he wished he never thought he’d have to take out, slapping it onto the desk so hard that it makes your nerves jump.

“Changmin,” you repeat, raising your voice this time.

“No, don’t say another word,” he orders. Just like the storm outside, his voice is thunderous, stinging you with how cold his demeanor had become.

“Enough is enough. How can a mother be so heartless? How could someone leave their son outside an empty building in the middle of a storm?” He flips the file open, scowling. “On his fucking birthday too,” he mutters, pulling out his phone.

He scans the list of phone numbers on the paper before finally catching sight of the one he’s been seeking. Changmin begins dialing in the number, mumbling ‘I should’ve done this two years ago’ under his breath.

You know exactly what he’s doing, and you let go of Hyunjae to stop him from calling Child Protection Services by grabbing his wrist, taking the phone away from him.

“Please,” you beg, desperation present in your tone.

You’re looking at him with eyes he’s never seen before, trying to convince him through your gaze.

But it doesn’t work, and Changmin yanks your arm away just to take the phone back from you. He fails as you continue to hide it from him, eyes frantically searching for a way to have him do otherwise.

Then you give in, remembering all the scoldings he’s given you in the past.

“I’ll talk to her!” you blurted, freezing his actions. “I’ll say something to her, okay? I promise.” You set the phone face down onto the surface of the table, allowing yourself to breathe before continuing. “I’ll work this out with her when she returns. I’ll tell her how this isn’t right, and that we will call if she ever does something like this again. Just for now, let’s just focus on Hyunjae.”

You slip in another ‘please’ after your rant, and it makes him look back at the crying boy in the corner. He looks back at you, and you’re brought to tears yourself, letting one slip down your cheek as you look at him.

So Changmin gives in, finally understanding that Hyunjae deserves to be their first priority at the moment.

The sounds of Hyunjae continuously sobbing is something Changmin has never wished to hear. He allows his shield to lower before rushing back over to him, bringing the trembling boy into his hold. Hyunjae rests his head against his shoulder, having his tears fall onto Changmin’s flannel.

“It’s okay, Hyunjae. We’re here,” he whispers, rubbing his back.

You’ve disappeared into the playroom and come back with a blanket, wrapping it around the two boys after joining them. The warmth and attention brings Hyunjae to ease, his tears lessening as he calms himself down.

Changmin is looking at him with a weak, gentle smile, staying silent when you start whispering little nothings to the boy.

Hyunjae becomes mentally capable of explaining what’s happened after an hour of you two holding onto him.

“M-mommy, she-...she-” he stops when his voice cracks, and Changmin reassures him with a kiss on his forehead, telling him to take it slow.

Hyunjae has a bit of trouble breathing while explaining, but he manages to sort his thoughts. “I-I had a nightmare, and the storm s-scared me…” He flinches at the rumble of the thunder, working up the courage to continue.

“She—she yelled at me,” he whispers, sniffing loudly.

Changmin stiffens with every word that Hyunjae stutters, but he remains quiet, letting him go on.

“She yelled at m-me when I told her I was s-scared, a-and she-” The boy starts choking on his tears again at the memory, and Changmin helps him through it.

Everything clicks for the two of you after that. Hyunjae doesn’t need to say another word for you two to understand what happened, so you convince Hyunjae to take deep breaths.

Another hour passes, but this time you’re with Hyunjae in the bean bags, reading him his favorite book as he dozes off to sleep beside you.

Changmin’s left to clean up the water outside the playroom, tossing all the paper towels into a nearby trash can. He eyes the paper on his desk, staring at it. You’d be too busy to even notice if he calls, but he fights against his own beliefs.

He trusts you. He trusts you and your word, so he shoves the paper away back into its file, putting it back into the drawer.

You’ll finally talk it out with his mother, and things will be better.

//

The playroom is filled with silence once the storm has subsided. The dark clouds still remained in the sky and the winds were still causing the trees to trash around, but the rain had stopped and you could no longer hear any bursts of thunder.

You look over at the two sleeping boys in the bean bags, smiling warmly at them. Although the playroom is dimly lit, you could see Hyunjae snuggling up against Changmin’s chest, holding onto his arms. They looked comfortable, but you haven’t gotten an ounce of sleep.

For the past few hours, your mind has been constantly thinking of things to say to Hyunjae’s mother when she arrives. You’re thinking of the anger she’s given Changmin and the pain she inflicted on Hyunjae, but you’re still left with no words to say.

You hate to admit it, but you came to terms with the fact you’re scared. You’re scared for what’s to come, knowing that she could lash you out at any minute. She’s done it before, and she’ll certainly do it again.

It doesn’t help that she reminds you of your own parents, feeling the balance in power when she stands in front of you. Although she manages to muster up sweet words to you with that warm smile of hers, you knew she was anything but. She is manipulative and easily has you wrapped around her finger.

Hell, she knows she does. It came as no surprise when she called you, stating that she’ll be dropping Hyunjae off at the daycare. She doesn’t ask you because she knows you’ll drop everything for her son.

She knows how much you love him, and she holds that over your head like you’re a little kitty, enjoying the way you try to take away what’s hers.

Your face is buried into the palm of your hands as you try thinking of ways to confront her, but you’re given no more time when you hear her car pull up into the parking lot. Your eyes shoot up to the only clock in the room, acknowledging how it was 3 in the morning. With sluggish steps (and a defeated sigh), you remove yourself from the chair and make your way over to the two boys.

“Wake up,” you whisper, gently shaking the two boys awake.

Hyunjae is the first one to react, rubbing his eyes open with a confused expression worn on his face. “Huh?”

“Your mother is here,” you explain, bringing the small boy to his feet.

Changmin stretches his limbs before standing up. He shoots a look towards you when hearing the jingle from the entrance.

It hurts to see Changmin ever so expressionless, especially when you know what’s about to come; it’s why you prevent him from leaving the doorway of the playroom.

“Don’t- don’t say anything, okay? Just stand here. I’ll work this out on my own.”

He tries going against your words but you shoot your gaze to the ground, avoiding all eye contact with him. “T-trust me for once. Fighting with her will only makes things worse.”

His eyes soften at the sight of you, and he gives in with a nod. He does as he was told, standing by the doorway when you go to approach Mrs. Lee with Hyunjae.

She looks exhausted, but it doesn’t cover up how her eyes are darting into her son’s skull when he walks over to her, showing no remorse for what she had done.

The lady clears her throat and faces you, plastering the same kind smile she’s shown you ever since day one.

“Thank you, Y/N, for watching over him.” She glances over at Changmin, clearly noticing the other teacher in the room, but says nothing.

“Yeah, o-of course,” you whisper, peeking over at Changmin. You’re unsure how to continue, and he could easily tell, but he doesn’t make a single attempt to step in, repeating your words in his head.

“Mrs. Lee!!” you call out, stopping Hyunjae’s mother from leaving. Not only don’t you want to disappoint Changmin, but you know Hyunjae’s well-being is also on the line.

She turns around on her heels, furrowing her brows ever so innocently at you. “What’s the matter, Y/N?”

The question serenades you, making your mind run blank.

Changmin stares at you, breath caught up in his throat as he waits.

“I-....I never got to hug your son goodbye.” Your voice turns into a squeak, and you could feel Changmin’s eyes burning into the back of your head.

She looks down at her son, visibly holding back a scowl. “Well then….you heard them, Jaehyun. Go give Teacher Y/N a goodbye hug.”

Hyunjae stumbles over his feet as he makes his way over to you, hugging you tight. “Goodbye,” he whispers.

“Goodbye, Hyu-...J-Jaehyun.” You pull away from the hug to look at him, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

He nods, repeating you through a murmur. “Tomorrow.”

Mrs. Lee’s phone begins to ring, and she picks it up, glaring at her son. “Let’s go, Jaehyun. It’s late.” She’s the first one to exit the doors, leaving while Hyunjae struggles to follow after.

When the door shuts, Changmin moves to reveal himself to you, and saying that he was fuming would be an understatement.

“What was that?”

You turn to him with your teeth latching onto your lower lip, not daring to meet his gaze.

“Look, Changmin-”

“No, don’t ‘look, Changmin’ me. You said you’ll tell her. You promised you’ll do something about it this time.” His voice breaks at the end of his sentence, disbelief washed over his features. “I-I trusted you, Y/N. I fucking trusted you to fix this for us, and you just let her go.”

He shakes off your apologies, pushing you away from him as he goes to pull the glass doors open.

“An ‘I’m sorry’ means nothing, Y/N. I thought you’d learn that by now,” he scoffs, gritting his teeth. He mutters a ‘pathetic’ before leaving you alone in the entrance, exiting the daycare.

The word takes a stab to your heart, and you feel your entire world crashing down on you. You follow him out, ready to beg for him to come back, but he’s already chasing after Hyunjae’s mother, taking matters into his own hands.

But you two stop in your steps when you see what was happening.

Mrs. Lee is talking on the phone, completely oblivious to how Hyunjae was falling behind her.

The boy is yelling out for her and telling his mother to slow down, but she doesn’t listen.

Changmin spots the car racing towards Hyunjae on the road, and he runs. You tail his steps, sprinting over onto the street to save Hyunjae from the car.

Changmin is faster when it comes to running, reaching Hyunjae in a quicker amount of time. He picks the boy up and tries to run, but it’s already too late.

The sound of the horn blaring fills up his ears, and the headlights blind Changmin’s vision.

He shuts his eyes and holds onto Hyunjae with his life, but nothing happens.

The car had swerved, and it struck you instead.

The vehicle comes to a halt, and the sound of your head colliding with the pavement fills the air.

Everything has gone silent, including Mrs. Lee’s voice when she sees what happened. Hyunjae is left in too much shock to process anything that he just witnessed, causing him to be handed over to his mother shortly after. Changmin no longer cares about what Mrs. Lee does with her son, rushing to the scene with pleas falling past his lips.

The driver has left their car, countless apologies pouring out of them as they stumble to call for emergency.

All Changmin could see was blood covering your figure. The liquid continuously pours out of you and into the puddles left by the storm, coloring the water a dark shade of red.

“No no no, Y/N.” He frantically pulls you into his hold, hugging you close against him with his hand patting your cheek. “Y/N, please talk to me.”

But you’re not moving. He feels for a pulse and finds it wavering, unsure if you were still with him. He begs for you to wake up, and the driver only watches with a hand over their mouth, in complete disbelief at what they had just done while informing the dispatcher.

Changmin is screaming your name, shaking you repeatedly as he sobs into your chest. He’s hugging onto the hand he kissed only hours ago, trying to not only reassure you but himself as well.

“We’ll—we’ll get through this together, o-okay? C-come on, Y/N, stay….s-stay with me. I know you’re there—I know-....I know you’re holding on. I-I believe in you.” His voice croaks as he utters the last sentence, his tears filling up his vision.

He doesn’t curse when blood seeps into his pajamas, praying as he tightly squeezes your hand. “S-stay with me, Y/N.”

//

One of the nurses gives him a fresh set of clothes when he enters the hospital, telling him they’ll do all they can to save you.

He nods and takes the clothes, going over to the bathroom. He locks himself inside and turns on the lights. He refuses to look at himself in the mirror, and he couldn’t tell if it’s because he would see his tear-stained cheeks or your blood drying up in the fabric of his pajamas.

The clothes he was given were nothing too special. It’s just a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, and surprisingly they somewhat fitted him. He takes one last glance at the pajamas before tossing them into the trash can provided within the bathroom.

Changmin tries to calm his anxiety by setting the toilet lid down, sitting on it. Unfortunately for him, his mind refuses to stop racing with possible outcomes of the situation, leaving him irritated.

He stops thinking when realizing he left something in his pajamas, taking them out of the trash. He searches his pocket to find the thing that appeared in his mind, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of the paper. He takes it out and drops the pajamas back into the can, sitting back down on top of the lid.

With shaky fingers, he unfolds the blood-stained painting. He doesn’t shed a tear at the sight, only praying that you’ll be okay with the luck the painting has always given him.

It always brought him the most luck out of any scenario, and he knows he needs it now more than ever.

After minutes of staring at it, he tucks it back into his pocket. He looks into the mirror and tells himself that everything will be okay. He forces himself to ignore any other signs telling him otherwise, clearing his mind before leaving the bathroom.

His footsteps echo throughout the hallway as he walks past the doors, hating how quiet the hospital seemed to be in the middle of the night.

Earlier, he was told not to enter your door, so when he came across the door numbered two, he sat down in the chair opposite from it.

He rests his elbows on his legs, closing his eyes as he tries to block out any sounds of the incident that wouldn’t stop ringing in his ears.

The sounds go silent at the click of the door in front of him, making him rise to his feet.

The nurse quickly shuts the door behind her, standing in front of it as she’s met with Changmin’s presence. A saddened, solemn expression takes over her features, but Changmin dismisses it when approaching her.

“How’s Y/N?” he asks, desperate to know about his lover’s condition. His eyes have a glint of hope in them, one that the nurse knows will vanish.

She hesitates to speak, fumbling with her fingers as she avoids all contact with Changmin. “You’re-...you’re the one who’s engaged to Y/N, correct?”

He nods, confirming his identity, and her eyes start to fill with sorrow. She parts her lips as if to say something but closes them shortly after to process her thoughts.

“Sir,” she begins. “Y/N-...in the incident, Y/N….Y/N lost a lot of blood.”

Changmin doesn’t hesitate to cut her off from continuing any further. “I can donate mine,” he offers. “We share the same blood type! AB, right?” He thinks back to when you found out about sharing the same blood type, jokingly declaring the two of you destined with fate after squealing about it.

The nurse pauses, and then shakes her head. “I’m afraid that’s not the case, sir-”

“Does Y/N need surgery?” Changmin asks, frantically pushing out his words. “I have the funds for everything, and I’ll pay anything just to make sure Y/N is alr-”

“Sir,” she says sternly, forcing him to cut off. After minutes of avoiding Changmin, she brings herself to have her gaze meet his, and only does Changmin now notice the tears prickling at her eyes. He shuts up, allowing the nurse to speak.

She looks down while digging for something through the pocket of her coat, slowly pulling the item out. “I-I came to return this to you,” she whispers.

“...What?”

The nurse hands the item to the male, and Changmin is finally able to tell what it is.

“...No. No, no there’s no way. Why-...would you give me the ring...Y/N-”

“We lost a pulse, sir,” she whispers, hanging her head as she drops the information.

Changmin’s entire body freezes and the ring in his hands falls, filling the empty hallway with the sound it makes when it hits the ground.

In complete denial, Changmin pushes past the nurse and pulls the door open, bursting into the room. His eyes search the room, and that’s when his gaze settles on the flat line presented on the monitor.

He stumbles back a few steps, and the only doctor in the room turns to look at him. She’s just as speechless as Changmin is, and she steps away from your bed to walk over to him.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she murmurs, leaving him alone with your lifeless body in the room

Although you’re covered head to toe with a white sheet, Changmin manages to get a glimpse of the blood dripping from your fingers, your now empty fingers, noticing the puddle that has been created on the ground.

The scene makes Changmin dizzy, and he feels like passing out as he uses the door frame as support. Too much is going on in his mind to have him fully comprehend what he is seeing; that it’s your body he’s looking at.

The nurse remains with him in the hallway, picking up the ring he dropped seconds earlier to hand it to him.

Just like the doctor, she apologizes as well, but Changmin doesn’t get to hear the end of it when he leaves with the ring. He storms past the staff walking through the hallways and leaves the hospital, not willing to have strangers witnessing his tears.

All Changmin does is get in his car and drive.

He drives to the daycare, refusing to let the reality dawn on him because when he reaches the daycare, he’ll be able to see you.

He’ll see you working at your desk, planning the activity for a day with a smile on your lips as you think about Hyunjae. He’ll see you twirling around in your swivel chair, telling him to join you.

But none of that happens when he enters the daycare, turning on the lights to the playroom. All he is met with is the vacancy of the room and your raincoat tossed onto one of the round tables.

And for the first time that night, Changmin realizes he’ll never see you again.

//

Growing up, people have always told Changmin to think about what he has rather than what he doesn’t have.

But how could he think about what he has when he no longer has you?

He doesn’t have you sitting in the passenger seat of his car, rating each song in his playlist or your smile that would wish him good morning whenever he enters the daycare. He doesn’t have your hand to hold and caress or your forehead to kiss.

He doesn’t have a reason to smile, so what was there to think about?

He didn’t even get a chance to say I love you.

It was such a foolish mistake to not say it to you everyday. If he had the chance, he would say it whenever you drift off to sleep and wake up beside him. He would say it after you slap him on the back for saying something stupid and kiss him on the cheek to make up for it.

But he never did. He never once uttered those cursed three words to you.

He was too lost in love to even acknowledge the lack of the three words being shared in the first place, and it doesn’t help that the world has taken you from him shortly after.

Changmin walks around the playroom in order to calm down the inferno burning up his insides, but that all fails when he drives his fist in the wall, wishing that the pain will replace the emptiness in his chest. He tosses all of the children’s paintings into the trash, along with the purple flowers you arranged for him a week ago.

With the only light in the playroom being the moonlight, he pulls out Hyunjae’s painting without thinking and tears it into pieces, ripping it until it could no longer be torn. The pieces fall onto one of the round tables like confetti, and his hands meet the table, letting out the sobs he’s been holding in ever since he’s heard the news from the nurse.

This place became his home in only two years, and he blames the stupid smile that would always reside on your face when you greeted him into the daycare. You and the kids were always the reason why he looked forward to waking up everyday, creating memories that would bring comfort to everyone in the room.

He sits down in one of the chairs, wiping away his tears as he pulls the ring out from his pockets, watching the way it glistens under the light illuminating from the moon. Carelessly, he tosses it onto the paper he’s ripped apart, pushing the table away from him.

You didn’t even get to wear it for a day.

Through his tears, he sees a paper on the ground, one that hadn’t been there when Changmin had entered the room. He quickly realizes that it fell out of the vase when he trashed the flowers away, picking it up between his fingers.

He hesitates to read what it says. He’s already dealing with too much pain that his heart is unable to handle anymore, but his fingers can’t help but move on their own, opening the paper to reveal the purple ink written all over.

Dear my (second) favorite person on earth,

I know you’ll throw these flowers away when they die. After all, that’s the classic Changmin I’ve grown to love so when you do, when you find this letter, I hope you read every single word I’m about to write.

I love yow.

I didn’t think my letter would get that fucked easily. Hyungseo tried peeking over my shoulder to see what I was writing, and I accidentally wrote a ‘w’ instead of a ‘u’ because of him. Honestly speaking, I hate it here. (No I don’t).

That reminds me. Did I ever tell you how much I love writing? We should write each other notes while we have the kids do an activity. You know, like highschoolers in love. I think it’ll be cute seeing you get caught writing mid-sentence by Hyunjae.

I should really stop rambling because Haknyeon’s starting to eat the petals from the flowers and Youngjae and Sunwoo refuse to stop hyping him up. Can you believe these boys? This is what you and Hyunjae are missing out on. I can’t believe you’ve been gone for hours now with him,, why’d you have to steal him from me >:( kidding, by the way. I hope you two are having fun without me. (Yes, I’m still petty).

I love you, Changmin. Two years with you, and I’ve never gotten to say it. It’s not like it matters because our love language is anything but, but it wouldn’t hurt to say it every now and then because I truly do mean it when I say I love you. I would say it to your face if I wasn’t such a wuss about it so here I am, expressing my feelings through a stupid letter. You better enjoy reading after this, by the way. I’m not going to write essays about how much I love you just for you to not read them.

Anyways, I bought this purple pen yesterday! It’s pretty, isn’t it? It isn’t the exact shade of purple you like, but the same could honestly be said about the assortment of flowers the boys and I made for you.

….Okay listen, I know you’re going to laugh when I show them to you. I swore the flowers looked beautiful when I bought them, but somehow when I gave them to the kids, they all managed to fuck them up and have them all bent in all the wrong places. So as an apology, I’m hoping this note makes up for it. Shit, I went off topic again.

I love you, Jichang. I love you more than words can do any justice, so instead of writing I love you a thousand different times…

Changmin, would you like the honor of being my boyfriend?

Shut up, I know you’ll say yes regardless, but I’ll still be expecting you to pick me up and twirl me around in the air, declaring yourself as my official boyfriend. It’d be nice, wouldn’t it?

Changmin sees how your handwriting trails off, figuring that was when he entered the playroom with Hyunjae and the popcorn. He wishes there was more to read, more to hear from you, but this is the most he’s ever going to get.

His sobs return, and he’s crying like Hyunjae except Changmin is in the arms of no one; no one to hold him, no one to tell him they’re there for him.

His mind is flashing images of you, reminding him of the memories he’s shared with you.

He’s reminded of the roll of your eyes when he would make a snarky remark and of your cuddles whenever all the kids have finally left the daycare. He remembers the way you would smile at him whenever he’s playing with the kids and how you always manage to unintentionally daydream about him when he’s sitting right beside you.

All those moments that made him fall in love with you are now memories that took turns taking a stab at his heart, crushing the organ until there was no more.

He wanted to scream at the world for taking you away from him so soon, but his throat is raw and he’s barely able to whisper. He’s craving your touch, your lips against his, and he’s wishing he could hear the jingle from the glass doors, signifying that you have arrived.

He wishes he had the chance to dance with you at least once in the middle of the empty playroom, maybe even practice the one you’ll share at your wedding.

The idea of the wedding makes Changmin look at the ring on the table, bringing it back between his fingers.

“I feel so lost,” he whispers, his voice breaking as he clutches onto the ring. “Y/N, what-...what do I do without you?”

He has no one to guide him, no one to tell him to believe in himself, and no one to love.

//

Changmin carries the last box into the trunk of his car, stacking it on top of the others. He wipes the sweat off his forehead, looking up at the sun shining bright in the sky despite it nearing winter. He pulls out his phone to check the time, realizing he has another thirty minutes before he has to leave.

In the past two months, Changmin has closed the daycare and called the dance academy. It took a few paperworks to be filled out before he’s officially accepted, and today is finally the day he’ll be leaving.

Changmin hears a car pulling up next to his in the parking lot, looking over to see who it was.

He regrets doing so, especially when Mrs. Lee leaves the driver’s seat.

“Ch-”

“The daycare’s closing, Mrs. Lee,” Changmin states, closing his trunk shut. “I have to leave soon too.”

His tone would’ve been more bitter if it wasn’t for the fact that Changmin is drained. For the past two months, Changmin has been drained of his tears and pain, causing him to be left with only soreness and a throbbing heartache.

“I know, I know, but Changmin, please listen to me.” She follows him across the street, tailing after his steps to the daycare. “My son keeps getting constant nightmares, and all I ask for is for you to give him all your time before you leave.”

“Your son?” he scoffs, stopping when he reaches the glass doors. “I owe you nothing.”

He wraps his fingers around the handle of the door, ready to push it open before hearing Mrs. Lee.

“Jaehy- Hyunjae. Hyunjae wants to see you. He wants to say goodbye.”

Changmin shuts his eyes at the name he’s been avoiding for so long, turning around in his spot to face his mother.

“Please, Changmin, talk to him one last time, I beg of you.” She’s distraught, not knowing how else to get her desperation across.

His mind runs over the idea of talking to Hyunjae for the last time, heart wrenching at the thought.

“Alright. Tell him to enter alone and make it quick. I don’t have all day.” Changmin’s just about to enter the daycare before realizing something, turning back around to look at the lady.

“Oh, and Mrs. Lee? Don’t bother ever stepping foot into this building ever again. I mean it. You’ve already inflicted enough pain.”

He pushes the door open and makes his way into the playroom.

The emptiness of the room engulfs him as he enters, looking at how lifeless the walls looked after taking down the colored posters that had the abcs written all over them. Truly nothing remained in the room except for the counters with sinks. The bookshelves have been donated along with all of the books, and the bean bags have been given to Sunwoo and Youngjae’s families. He looks around the room one last time, unable to pinpoint how he used to call this dinky place ‘home’.

A few minutes after roaming around the place with a hollow heart, Changmin hears the front two doors jingle, tiny footsteps making their way into the daycare.

Hyunjae peeks into the playroom and when he catches sight of Changmin, tears begin to fall down his face. He runs over to the male, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist as he breaks out into full-on sobs.

Changmin hesitantly crouches down so Hyunjae is able to hug him better, remaining emotionless as the young boy wets his shirt with his tears. His little fingers desperately cling onto his sleeves, and no words are exchanged between the two boys for minutes. Though, to Changmin, it feels like hours, holding the boy in his arms as he stares off into the void.

Hyunjae is the first to speak up, voice quivering. “Don’t leave,” he whispers.

Changmin struggles to find the right words to use in the moment but gives up, deciding to just be blatantly honest with the boy. “I have to, Hyunjae. I can’t stay. I’m leaving.”

Hyunjae looks up at him, redness tinting his puffy eyes while tears continuously pour down his face. “You can’t- you just can’t-” he sobs, going back to hiding his face in the teacher’s chest. “What w-would I do without you?”

Changmin pats the back of his head and thinks, smiling back at a memory. “Hyunjae, do you remember that book you always liked? The one Y/N bought for you two years ago?”

The nine-year-old stiffles his cries for only a second, nodding.

“The main character...He dies in the end, right?”

Again, Hyunjae nods.

“But you’ve read that book how many times?”

The boy frowns. “What does this have to do with anything?” he hiccups, wiping his tears away.

Changmin sighs. “Life is kind of like, well, a storybook. Whatever is written is permanent, and there’s nothing you can change. You can keep flipping the pages back and forth, wishing that you’ll be able to change the outcome, but you can’t because the ink has already seeped into the paper.

So it’s hard to, you know, turn the page when you know someone you loved ever so dearly won’t be in the next chapter, but you do it regardless. You come to accept the fact they’re gone because you’ll have to move on with the story, and eventually you’re able to turn that page.”

He cups Hyunjae’s cheeks in his hands, reassuring him. “You’ll move on, Hyunjae. Just like how you’ve gotten over the boy’s death in the book a trillion times. Trust me.”

“But that’s different,” Hyunjae reasons, removing Changmin’s hands from his face. “I-In the book, they still get their happy ending. In the book, the people still live happily ever after, even with the death of the boy.”

“Yes, ‘in the book’, Hyunjae. This is real life.” He looks at the ground. “Not all couples get happy endings.”

“But we could get ours.” Hyunjae makes Changmin look at him, tears being brought back into his eyes. “You’re here with me right now, and you can stay. You can stay with me, and we could write our own story with a happy ending.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that easy, Hyunjae,” the male whispers.

“Teacher Y/N already left,” Hyunjae mumbles. “I can’t-...I don’t want to lose you too.”

With shaky hands, Hyunjae reaches up to cup Changmin’s cheeks, tears cascading down his cheeks as he tries to speak. “P-please, please don’t leave me,” he hiccups through his tears.

Changmin closes his eyes, preventing himself from falling vulnerable into the hands of a nine-year-old. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

“B-but we’re family, and family....family sticks together, right?”

“We’re not family, Hyunjae.”

Changmin’s words pierces into Hyunjae’s heart, and the boy no longer says anything else, the two allowing the young boy’s sobs to fill up the room.

Changmin opens his eyes to look at Hyunjae, and he knows this image of Hyunjae will forever be engraved into his mind.

And out of nowhere, Changmin smiles. He smiles because he knows they’ll be okay.

“Thank you.”

Hyunjae sniffs loudly, still holding onto Changmin’s cheeks. “F-for what?” The boy is biting back his upcoming batch of tears, but it fails when Changmin starts to speak.

“Thank you, Hyunjae, for being the sunshine that always brightens the daycare’s day and being the shooting star that glitters the dark skies at night. Thank you for your little surprise hellos and your comforting goodbyes. Thank you for the happiness you’ve brought to not only me, but Teacher Y/N as well.” Changmin finally allows his tears to fall, not breaking eye contact with Hyunjae. “Thank you for being so fucking strong for the both of us and growing up to be the angel Y/N will always love and cherish.”

Hyunjae’s sobs even harder after hearing Changmin, unable to contain himself. “Please-...don’t go.”

But the male continues. He removes his face from Hyunjae’s palms and moves to rest his forehead against the boy’s, working his words through his own tears.

“Thank you for being your bestest self in front of everyone. Thank you for bringing a smile to everyone’s faces every single day, and thank you for always giving me a reason to wake up. Thank you for being the first person to give me hugs and loving me when no one else would. Thank you for making me feel like a kid again these past two years. Thank you, Hyunjae, for being the gift in my life.”

Changmin pulls away from the young boy and presses a sweet, gentle kiss to his nose, hugging him tightly afterwards. “I love you,” he whispers.

The teacher then stands up and doesn’t take another glance at the boy he had only broken further, leaving the playroom. He walks out the glass doors of the daycare and heads for his car, looking ahead towards the path he was always meant to take.

The kid inside him once played hide and seek for twenty three years, and during those twenty three years, Changmin refused to play along.

Now, the only person that remains inside the vacant daycare is the kid Changmin grew to love and eventually left behind; the boy that led him to his inner kidult.

Maybe, just like in Hyunjae’s painting, Changmin was the devil after all.

As always, you’re reading a book despite how late it is at night. Your legs are sprawled out on top of the blankets, waiting for Changmin to exit the bathroom as usual.

He’s dressed in his usual flannel pajamas, a bright smile on his face. You close your book and set it aside before spotting a piece of paper peeking out from the pockets in his pants.

“You bring that thing everywhere, don’t you?”

“Huh? This?” Changmin pulls it out of his pocket and waves it in the air, making you confirm his words with a nod.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he snorts, raising his brows. “If you had this gem, you’d bring it everywhere too.”

You roll your eyes and grab a pillow, tossing it at his face. “Yeah sure, but I wouldn’t shower with it, dummy.”

He stumbles back due to the hit and picks it up from the ground, tossing the pillow right back at you. “I don’t shower with it!” he exclaims.

Changmin joins you on your bed after setting Hyunjae’s painting down onto the nightstand, yawning loudly.

“Whatever you say, Jichang.”

You put the pillow back into its spot and bring the blankets over both of your bodies after turning off the lamp, leaving the two of you in complete darkness. Though, the lack of light doesn’t stop Changmin from bringing you close against him, snuggling up to you.

It’s silent, and you would think he’s asleep until he shifts in his spot.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Isn’t it crazy how like...Hyunjae painted that thing when we only knew each other for, what? Two days?” He scrunches his nose at the memory before turning to look at you to see what you thought.

“It is,” you respond. “Kids do the darndest things.”

Changmin laughs at your word choice but agrees nonetheless. “Don’t you think it somehow links with fate? The two of us ending up together?”

“Mmm, perhaps. Depends on how you put it.” You shift in your spot, turning to face him. “Hyunjae’s special like that.”

You reach to hold one of his hands, playing with his fingers. “Together forever,” you sigh, pressing a kiss against his knuckles.

“That includes Hyunjae, right?” Changmin asks, lazy eyes watching your every movement as a cheeky smile makes its way to his lips.

You laugh, nodding. “Yes, that includes Hyunjae. All three of us...together forever....Oh my god, Changmin, remember that pinky promise you had the three of us do before you left?”

He grins at the memory, remembering how grim that day turned out to be until he asked you out. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

He pulls his hand away from you to tuck his nose into the crook of your neck, growing drowsier with each hum that escapes you.

“The three of us and our happy little ending,” Changmin murmurs, that being the last thing he says before drifting off to sleep.

NAVIGATION | TBZ MASTERLIST

like i said i live for badboy jisung nothing else

You’re Bad For Me

a/N - okay i got a little carried away okay stoner jisung just made me mshshdghs

pairing - Park Jisung x Reader

genre - fluff ig

You never really meant to go down the path you did after high school, but you’d blame your boyfriend entirely for that. Now, you sat in between Jisung’s legs, resting your head on his torso as you and your friends sat around a fire in the forest getting high, a typical Saturday night.

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