Im Crying In The Club

🥺🥺🥺

If anyone out there loves me enough to send me these,, i would cry :,)

the way life goes — two

pairing: jaemin x reader genre: smut, angst, fluff wc: 14.7k

chapter warnings: slow burn-ish, so much plot and way too much dialogue lol, fwb type stuff, friends to lovers i guess???, the majority of kpop 00’ liners are in this, other nct members also make brief appearances, a lot of crack humour, a lot of sex talk and jokes, black haired jaemin, jaemin is just super mysterious and sexy, explicit language, explicit content, BIG SMUT, jaemin fingers reader while the boys are downstairs, jaemin wears rings while fingering reader it's hot, grinding, dry humping, protected sex (stay safe besties), very soft!dom jaemin, sub!reader i suppose, praising, slight hair pulling, big dick jaemin, jaemin jokes about multiple orgasms, yangyang is still trying to get down n dirty with reader lmao,

⌜part one⌟

summary: you and jaemin discuss your friends with benefits situation before things between you both start to escalate. also, your friends are crazy and they know about it.

“Have you guys started that creative writing assessment Professor Moon asked us to do?” Miwoo questions at the table during lunch, dipping her baby carrots into a hummus pot as she takes a quick glance at Haru’s notebook, watching the blonde scribble something down. “Wait, are you writing notes?”

“No” Haru shakes her head before pointing at the spare notebook that you’re currently holding, your eyes scanning over the page. “Those are my notes”

“Give me those!!!” Miwoo hisses as she reaches over to snatch the notes out of your hands and slam them down in the middle of the table for her to see. You glare her way, flicking her the middle finger which she ignores. “I haven’t started anything”

“It’s not supposed to be handed in until next week” You inform. “Why are you in a rush to get it done already?”

“So I don’t have to worry about it all weekend?” Miwoo says as if it was the most obvious answer in the world, grabbing a notebook and pen out of her bag. “The only thing I want to worry about is if I run out of money or get pregnant, not some stupid assessment”

Haru keeps her eyes down but her lips curl upwards. “I thought you wanted to get punished by Professor Moon?”

“I wish” Miwoo snorts before munching on another baby carrot. Her eyes flitter over to you, cocking her head to the side. “So, what’s up with you and Jaemin?”

You give her a blank look, but your heart races. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on… we’ve all noticed how close you and Jaemin have gotten since the whole incident on the weekend. Now spill the details about yours and Jaemin’s little one on one last night!!” Miwoo grins excitingly and even Haru peers up from her notebook, eyeing you in curiosity. Your face feels hot under their stares, becoming uncomfortable due to the sudden attention but you clear your throat, leaning back into your seat as you try to act as calm and collected as you possibly can.

“Nothing happened” You shake your head. Liar. “He came over, we ate and we talked”

“Talk about what?” Miwoo presses before she wiggles her brows. “Anything interesting?”

“Just how loud your moans are” You send her a sarcastic smile and she retaliates by rolling her eyes. “Seriously, it’s some porn star quality material... have you thought about going into that profession?”

“Ha. Ha. Hilarious” Miwoo grumbles, pulling a face when Haru laughs. “Laugh all you want!! You’re just jealous that I’m getting railed into oblivion by Jeno’s fat co—”

"You're so disgusting, shut up!" You groan out but the smile on your face gives away how much you actually find the comment funny. "You have no shame"

"And that's what you all love about me" Miwoo smiles prettily as she bats her eyelashes. You jokingly roll your eyes with a hum just as the boys finally make an appearance, walking through the double doors of the college's cafeteria and heading straight for your table.

Renjun pulls his laptop out of his bag once he sits down next to Haru, laying a kiss on her temple and she leans into his side while she continues to write in her notebook. You zone out as you watch them, how the arm around her shoulder rests so comfortably and how mindlessly he traces patterns on her skin even though his attention is focussed on the screen in front. Haru’s hand is placed gently on his thigh, unmoving, but you know that the little gesture is something that’s so calming for the both of them, so natural and so secure.

Your eyes flitter over to Jeno and Miwoo, the former smothering the latter’s face in loud smooches and nibbling the shell of her ear when he runs up behind her. fingers digging into her sides in hopes of a loud reaction that she doesn’t give apart from the giggles and the warning slaps before he sits down, capturing her mouth in a sloppy kiss.

"Gross" Donghyuck gags as he settles down beside you with Yangyang following suit and sitting on your other side. "Save the face sucking for another time, just looking at it makes me want to puke"

"You just wish it was you and Aisha" Renjun fires back just before Jeno could react, not even bothering to take his attention away from his laptop.

"And what about it?!?!" Donghyuck hisses back angrily, seemingly defensive. "Also, don't think for one second that you guys are so slick... we all notice the lingering touches and that not-so-subtle lovey dovey bullshit!"

"What's crawled up your ass today?" Haru questions, glancing up from her notes. "Why are you in such a sour mood?"

"Aisha rejected him big time" Yangyang reveals with a snicker, quickly grabbing your shoulders as using you as a human shield as Donghyuck tries to reach around you to attack him. You huff as you get squished between the two, trying to calm down Donghyuck while prying Yangyang's grip off. "He finally grew some balls and asked Aisha out on a date but she rejected him straight off the bat and told him that she wasn't interested"

"Apparently she's seeing that guy who brought his guitar at our party last weekend" Donghyuck sulks with a pout, getting ready to slam his head down on the desk but you're quick to react, holding out your hand so his forehead smacks your palm. He whines. "That Canadian motherfucker..."

"At least she was honest!" Miwoo tries to cheer him up. "I mean, would you rather have her tell you the truth and go through a little bit of heartbreak or have her lie and lead you on?"

"Duh, lie and lead me on"

"You're such a fucking brat!" Miwoo throws one of her baby carrots forcefully at Donghyuck's head in frustration and he looks up to give her an evil glare before reaching for the not-so-damaging weapon and shoving it into his mouth, angrily munching the vegetable.

"Where's Jaemin and Shotaro?" You ask, noticing the missing presence of the two and secretly hoping to change the subject from Miwoo and Donghyuck, too tired to hear them bicker any while longer.

"Jaemin is helping Shotaro with his new dance video that he's gotta present in front of his class soon. Jaemin's getting the right shots, the right lighting and all that kind of stuff for him..." Jeno explains as he turns to you, a teasing smirk spreading on his lips and he raises a brow. "Why? Are you missing Jaemin?"

You roll your eyes. "Shut up"

"You guys have been getting close, you know" Yangang points out, resting his chin on his hand to look at you. "I even heard he came over to your apartment last night... all alone... just the two of you"

"That's because Miwoo and Haru were getting their backs blown out by Jeno and Renjun and were being too loud" You tell him and Yangyang gasps loudly, covering his mouth as his head snaps towards the four in question whilst Donghyuck has a gagging fit beside you. "He came over to get away from the noise"

"For your information, it was Miwoo that was loud" Renjun corrects, ignoring the glares he was getting from the girl.

"Wait, so Haru doesn't make a sound when you guys have sex?" Yangyang gives Haru a sympathetic smile, reaching across the table to pat her hand in fake comfort. "Sorry to hear that he doesn't please you enough, must be annoying"

"Nope, I'm good" Haru shakes her head. "I love the way Renjun chokes me to be quiet"

The noise that leaves from everyone sends Haru into a laughing fit while Renjun reminds quiet, but the cocky smirk he wears clearly shows how proud he is of himself. Jeno gives him at pat on the back and two impressed thumbs up while Miwoo stares at Haru, wiggling her brows suggestively.

"I don't know why you guys are so shocked, honestly" Donghyuck mutters. "It's always the quiet ones who are the freakiest"

You feel movement beside you and your eyes narrow. "You better not be looking at me Yangyang"

"I'm looking straight at you, baby girl" Yangyang grins. You roll your eyes, scrunching your face in disgust at the pet name and swatting his hands away as he tries to touch you, fingers reaching for your arm to try and tug you into his lap.

Donghyuck joins in on the teasing, wrapping his arms around your middle and pulling you back into his chest and you curse him out, pinching the skin on his arms in an attempt to get him off, not even caring about the other students that give your table dirty looks for being so loud.

With your one hand in Donghyuck’s hair and the other gripping Yangyang’s ear, you turn to look at the others in hopes they would help you escape from their teasing but your face drops, a blank expression taking over your features as you make eye contact with Jeno’s iphone camera, realising he’s been recording the entire thing.

“Wipe that stupid grin off of your face, Lee Jeno” You warn, shooting daggers at the camera lense. “If you post that video anywhere on social media, I swear to god I will turn you inside out”

“Oh yeah?” Jeno raises a brow, the grin still remaining on his lips. “Try it, bitch”

Before you could even get the chance to leap over the table and rip Jeno’s face off, Haru and Miwoo both react fast by whacking him across the head, the former gasping in shock and dropping his phone to rub the sore area. Jeno goes to give the girls the same treatment but his hand freezes in the air as Renjun’s head snaps towards him, almost daring him to lay a finger on Haru and Jeno pouts, opting to grab the pressure point in Miwoo’s knee instead and squeeze, earning a loud yelp.

“You’re all so dramatic” Donghyuck tuts, his arms finally slipping from your body to grab Jeno’s phone. “Couldn’t be me”

“You’re literally the most dramatic person here” Yangyang looks at Donghyuck as if he sprouted two extra heads on his shoulders and Donghyuck simply flips him off, watching the video of your mini squabble on Jeno’s phone. You lean in close, your chin digging into Donghyuck’s arm as you watch the video along with him, ignoring the way he hisses in pain at the pressure you’re putting on his arm.

You fail to notice Jaemin and Shotaro approaching the table, too engrossed in watching yourself pathetically fight back against Donghyuck and Yangyang’s antics but you grin widely the second you see your hand rip his hair and the pained expressions on his face, making Donghyuck scoff at your reaction.

The others greet the two latecomers, moving around to make some room at the table and Shotaro sits beside Renjun, and Jaemin opts to slide into the seat opposite you. A foot knocks against yours and you tear your eyes away from the phone, ready to snap at Jeno until you see it was Jaemin.

You blink in surprise, lips curling into a shy smile and Jaemin mirrors your expression but radiates a lot more confidence, leaning back into his chair and locks your foot with his own, keeping you trapped.

The contact makes your heart race as you quickly glance around at the others, hoping they haven’t noticed anything different or if they somehow realised your heart was about to leap out of your chest. You felt embarrassed at how easily Jaemin could turn you into a flustered and nervous wreck, you prayed you wouldn’t react like this all the time.

“How did the filming go?”

“It was great!” Shotaro beams as he answers Haru’s question, pulling a bottle of water out of his bag and unscrewing the cap. “I’m really grateful that Jaemin helped me out. The shots looked amazing!!”

“Can we see it?” Miwoo grins, leaning on her elbow as she dreamily looks off into the distance. “I find dancing so sexy…”

Donghyuck clicks his tongue. “You’re just easily pleased”

“And what about it?” Miwoo mocks his words from earlier and Donghyuck rolls his eyes, poking out his tongue just as Jeno snatches his phone back from his grasp, checking if the video wasn’t deleted and untouched in his camera roll.

You try to focus your attention on Shotaro who’s asked by Miwoo about his one on one time with Yeji yesterday but you struggle to do so as you feel Jaemin’s foot rub against your calf slowly, his hands subtly reaching beneath the table to grip your ankle.

You press your lips tightly together as you feel the coldness of his rings shock your skin, jerking your leg out of his grip and moving them as far away from Jaemin who grins at your reaction.

Jeno throws a crumpled up paper ball at Jaemin’s face. “What are you grinning about?”

“Nothing” Jaemin shakes his head as he leans back against his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. The corner of his lip lifts upwards. “Seems like you guys had a great night last night”

Donghyuck groans, covering his face with his hands. “Not this again... Can we change the subject? This just makes me realise that my sex life is non-existent!! I may as well be a virgin again”

“Bro, you can literally have sex whenever with whoever” Yangyang says, leaning forward on the table to give Donghyuck a look. “You’re just too obsessed with Aisha to realise that”

“I’m not obsessed”

“Yes you are” The entire group, minus Donghyuck, says in unison and he huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away from the table in an attempt to give you all the silent treatment, even going as far as shoving his fingers in his ears whenever one of you call out his name.

Your attention is pulled away from teasing Donghyuck as you feel your phone vibrate against your leg, pulling your brows together in confusion as you pull the device from your pocket, wondering who could be texting you when all your friends are present.

jaemin: hi

You look up from your phone over at Jaemin who’s smiling at you from across the table and you smile back softly, watching as his thumbs dance across his phone’s keyboard.

jaemin: do u want to come over after classes end

you: over urs?

jaemin: yes

you: oh you: ok you: why???

jaemin: :)

You raise your head from the confusing reply to give Jaemin a weird look, watching as he grins and shoves his phone back into his pocket, turning to look at Shotaro who softly calls his name to ask him something you couldn’t hear while you do the same with your device.

The second you put your phone down, you feel eyes staring into the side of your head and you turn to face Yangyang, the culprit of the staring. He raises his eyebrows and bites down on his bottom lip, winking with his left eye then right multiple times.

You blink. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m trying to seduce you” He answers as if it’s a normal response, resting his chin on his hand as he smiles at you prettily, batting his eyelashes. “Is it working?”

“Stop, Yang” Your lips pull together in a sympathetic smile as you pat his shoulder, shaking your head. “Just stop”

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

You huff as you’re pushed down on a bed, Jaemin’s body crawling on top of yours as his lips attack your jaw, smothering the skin in wet kisses while his one hand rests on the opposite side of your jaw, holding your face gently in his grasp.

A gasp emits from the back of your throat as you feel his teeth nibble down and you’re quick to move his head, pressing your lips against his to avoid any obvious marks on your skin. He sighs softly against your mouth as your hands caress the back of his neck, melting in your embrace.

You couldn’t grasp onto the fact that you were here, in Jaemin’s bed with his body on top of yours, kissing each other like it was your last moment on earth. Kissing him makes your head spin; the messy yet sensual and erratic pace makes you feel hot and you struggle to breath, his clothed erection pressing against your covered center makes you wet with arousal as he sucks on your bottom lip.

“Okay, wait” You mumble breathlessly against his lips, pressing your palms to Jaemin’s chest and pushing him back to give you both some space and air, your chest rising up and down rapidly from the lack of oxygen. “Stop for a sec”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Jaemin questions, licking at his lips as he scans your face for any regrets or hesitations, wondering if he’s come on too strong or has done something wrong. His throat tightens at the thought of accidentally hurting you and he cups your face softly when you take awhile to answer. “Y/N?”

“I’m fine, It’s just… I think we should probably talk about some stuff before going deep into this friends with benefits type of thing… you know?” You explain, gesturing between the both of you and Jaemin nods in agreement, immediately rolling off of your body and shifting comfortably beside you.

He leans up on his elbow to stare down at you. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Rules? Maybe?” You suggest, nervously fiddling with your fingers. “I think we need some rules”

“Okay, rules” Jaemin nods. “What kind of rules are we thinking about?”

“Okay, uh, rule number one” You hold one finger up. “No couple stuff. We can’t talk about the idea of boyfriends and girlfriends, we can’t buy each other gifts and no taking each other out on dates or anything like that”

“Hmm, okay, but what about hanging out?” Jaemin asks and you look at him confused. “Like, what if I want to hangout with you alone or grab a bite to eat, go to a party etcetera etcetera?”

You purse your lips in thought. “Yeah, that’s fine. As long as we don’t label it as a date, it’s fine”

“Cool”

“Rule number two: No telling anyone at college that we’re doing this or make it public… they’ll turn it into a big deal, especially our friends... let's keep it on the downlow from them for a bit until they get suspicious” You tear your eyes away from your fingers to look at Jaemin, watching him nod slowly. “And yes, it means we’re not exclusive fuck buddies, if that’s what you’re thinking… you can fuck whoever you want”

“I don’t want to fuck anyone” Jaemin says almost instantly, eyes meeting yours. “I just want to fuck you”

You blink in surprise, almost gulping at the way he’s looking at you. “C-Cool…”

Jaemin smiles softly at you, looking down at your hand and reaching to grab a third finger, holding it up. “Rule number three: No feelings, no falling in love, no getting jealous”

You scoff. “Duh, obviously. Although, that might be hard…” You pause as you turn to look at Jaemin, a wave of confidence washing over your body as you wink and send an air kiss his way. “I’m quite the catch”

“Shut up” Jaemin grins, nudging your shoulder playfully and you giggle, focussing your attention back on your three fingers. He watches you carefully as you examine your three digits, going over the rules in your head and scrunching your brows together as you try to think of another. He smiles. Cute.

“Does that sound okay to you?”

“What?” Jaemin hums, blinking back to reality.

“Rule number four: We talk to each other. if we have any problems or concerns with anything, we tell each other… full honesty. Okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good to me” Jaemin smiles at you and you can’t help but smile back, craning your neck upwards to kiss his lips softly but you pull away quickly as you hear shouting downstairs, eyes widening as you realise the boys are home. Jaemin chases your lips when you move back and you shake your head rapidly, pushing him away with urgency.

Jaemin raises a brow, his lips still puckered waiting for you to plant one on him until he hears the noise, rolling his eyes as he realises what’s going on. He slides off of the bed, bare feet padding across the wooden floorboards towards his bedroom door. You watch as he peeks his head out, looking back and forth before closing the door and locking it, spinning on his heel and heading back to the bed to lay beside you.

You laugh quietly, shaking your head at his silliness but your laughter slowly comes to a stop as you see him reach for you.

Jaemin’s fingers brush against your lips as he admires your face, his eyes locking with yours, filled with nothing but adoration. You feel hot under his stare, heart rate rising higher and higher as you clench your legs together to get rid of the forming ache in between your thighs.

He quirks a brow, the corner of his lips twitching upwards into a smirk as he briefly glances down before meeting your eyes again. You feel embarrassed to be reacting this way over one simple touch and his stare, he already has you wrapped around him. You were already captivated.

The pad of his middle finger glides over your bottom lip and you fail to control yourself as you instinctively open up, his finger sliding in your mouth, saliva covering his digit.

Jaemin’s eyes widen in shock before he chuckles, biting down on his own lips as he presses his finger down on your tongue and you suck, swirling the pink muscle around his digit as if it was his own cock. He adds his index finger into the mix, gently thrusting them inside of your mouth.

The wet sounds it makes has your head spinning and your pussy desperate to be touched while he looks unbothered, the actions seeming to have no effect on him and even if it did, he refused to show them. It makes you frustrated.

He pulls his wet fingers out of your mouth, watching your face intently as he slowly drags his hand down your body. Your heartbeat is loud in your ears as he stops above your stomach, a little bit of skin on show from your t-shirt rising from your small little moments and a wet finger dances agonizingly slow around your belly button before he dips his hand under the waistband of your shorts without any warning.

A gasp rips from the back of your throat as his fingers make contact with your wet heat, stroking your folds as he leans up on his elbow to look down at you, tilting his head to the side with a teasing smile.

“You’re gonna have to be quiet, you know that the boys are home” Jaemin says with a whisper but you fail to notice that he was waiting for you to say something, your attention focussing on the way his middle finger rubs up and down your slit. “Unless… you want them to hear you?”

“No” You shake your head quickly, meeting his eyes. “I can be quiet”

“Yeah?” He holds your gaze as he sinks two fingers into your pussy and you gasp again, mouth agape as you fling your head back against the pillows. Jaemin smirks. “You sure, baby?”

“You’re annoying” You snap, failing to show your irritance as his thumb rubs against your clit, eyes squeezing shut to try and focus on making no sounds.

“That’s not nice to say to someone who has their fingers inside your panties right now” Jaemin tuts with a smirk, shaking his head as his fingers press against your walls. You let out a satisfied sigh, biting down on your lip as you open your eyes to meet his. “Am I making you feel good?”

You hum a response and Jaemin smiles at that, his fingers moving quicker as they pump into you and you accidentally let a loud and obvious moan rip from your throat.

You cover your mouth in embarrassment and he laughs despite making no moves in stopping what he’s doing to your dripping pussy.

The second his thumb rubs your clit, you find it harder to control the gasps and whines that you make, opting to roll into Jaemin’s side and nuzzle your face into the crevice of his neck, lifting your thigh over his hips which helps him hit a deeper spot inside of your core.

The sounds are now muffled and barely audible, but shivers are sent down Jaemin’s spine as he can hear everything in his ear and your breath panting against his skin. A grin is present on his face, rubbing faster against your walls and the lewd wet noises fills your ears which nears you closer to your orgasm.

“Look at you, baby” Jaemin coos. “You’re a mess”

“Fuck” You cry out quietly, gripping the fabric of his white shirt as your thighs quiver around his hand.

“You gonna cum?” He asks with a whisper and you struggle to find your voice, nodding quickly for his answer before your orgasm hits. Your whole body convulses as you cum around his fingers, letting out a strained cry while you grip on to the material of his hoodie as tight as you possibly can.

Jaemin holds you against him as he helps ride out your high, slowly massaging your walls and basking in the quiet sounds you make in his ear, grinning at the feeling of your lower half moving against his fingers at their own accord.

“You okay?” He whispers softly after a few minutes and you nod, refusing to move your face away from his neck, your cheeks hot with embarrassment. You couldn’t look at him, not with his fingers still buried inside your pussy, not with your cum dripping down his hand and certainly not with your fucked out expression.

Jaemin laughs as you cling to his side, carefully removing his hand from between your thighs and gripping your hips tightly to pull you on top of him. You wince as your sensitive core brushes against the bulge in his shorts and you go to make a comment until his lips press against yours softly.

You sigh into the kiss, hands cupping his cheeks while his own press against your lower back, bringing you closer to his body as his tongue brushes your bottom lip before entering your mouth. You remove your hands from his cheeks, arms slithering around his shoulders and fingers gripping the hair at the nape of his neck, holding back gasps and whines as he helps grind your hips down on his.

“HEY! NA JAEMIN!” Jeno’s voice is heard yelling from the opposite side of the door, heavy footsteps echoing in the hallway. You spring apart from Jaemin’s lips, eyes wide as you watch the doorknob rattle from the force Jeno uses as he tries to open it. You hear him whine. “Why is it loooocked? Open the door, man. I got you something”

You feel panic start to rise and you swing your leg from over Jaemin’s body to remove yourself from his lap but his hands keep you still, gripping your hips to prevent you from moving anywhere.

You look at him incredulously as you mouth. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m busy!” Jaemin calls back to Jeno, completely ignoring you while the latter decides to start rapidly knocking against the door and Jaemin rolls his eyes, leaning his head back against the headboard and poking his tongue at his inner cheek in annoyance.

“Dude, stop jerking off to some weird hentai porn and come take this shit off of me before I decide to go get my money back” Jeno’s warning makes Jaemin groan, gently pushing you off of his body and climbing off of the bed, heading towards his door. You move as far as you can to the back wall, heart pounding loudly in your ears at the fear of getting caught the second he unlocks the door.

“What do you want?”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist just cause I disrupted you from your ‘me time’” You hear Jeno snicker. “Here. We went downtown today and I visited that art store that you like, bought you some stuff that you might need: film for your camera, new sketchbook for your photos and a polaroid camera that I had a discount on because apparently my ass looks good in these jeans”

“Oh, wow” The shock is obvious in Jaemin’s tone but he takes the bag out of Jeno’s hand, appreciating the kind gesture. He peers inside the bag, seeing everything that Jeno described and he smiles. “Thank you… what do you want from me?”

Jeno scoffs. “Can’t I just give you a present without being accused of wanting something?” Jaemin gives him a blank look, raising his brow which makes Jeno break. “Okay, yeah, there is something I want but I genuinely did want to buy this shit for you… I know you don’t go in there anymore because—”

“What was it that you wanted?” Jaemin immediately cuts him off before he could finish his sentence. Jeno blinks at Jaemin’s sudden abruptness, aware that he’s hit a nerve but he sends an apologetic smile as he pats his shoulder.

“Your video camera. I’m going to try and start an OnlyFans again”

“No. Fuck off” Jaemin steps back, slamming the door in Jeno’s face and locking it. Jeno whines on the other side, before disappearing down the hallway while stomping his feet, clearly upset with not being allowed to use Jaemin’s camera. You watch Jaemin as he comes back to you with the bag in hand, placing it down on his desk chair before settling down next to you.

You take note in the way he stares at the bag, eyes scanning over the company label with an unreadable look. You want to comfort him, to ask him what’s wrong and why he got snappy with Jeno over the mention of the store but you’re not sure if you’re allowed to ask such personal questions, not wanting to overstep any boundaries or act out of line.

So, you decide to say, “Do you always let Jeno borrow your video camera whenever he has the sudden urge to start an OnlyFans again?”

A laugh escapes past Jaemin’s lips and he smiles as he nods his head slowly. “Yeah, usually he just takes it without asking me” He tears his eyes away from the bag to look at you. “Last time he had the brilliant idea of starting an onlyfans, he left the footage on my camera”

“Wow. Sexy” You tease and Jaemin rolls his eyes as he shuffles backwards in bed, coming to sit beside you with his hands resting in his lap. “You know, he always has the urge to start one but he never goes through with it”

“It’s probably because he realises that no one is going to pay to see his one inch needle dick”

You shrug your shoulders with a smile. “I doubt that. His dick is actually pretty impressive”

Jaemin’s head turns towards you in confusion, his brow raising as he takes in your words. “You’ve seen his dick?”

“Sadly” You nod your head. “Miwoo once dared the boys to go skinny dipping during our mini vacation over her parents lake house last year… it’s a shame we didn’t know each other back then, you would’ve had a lot of fun”

“Yeah, sounds like it” Jaemin smiles softly and you smile back, pushing your hair out of your face as you take a look around his bedroom, getting flashbacks from the first time you came in here, cringing in embarrassment at your drunken state. Taking a quick glance at Jaemin, you suck in a breath as you notice he’s already staring at you, quickly turning your attention to something else in the room which happens to be something you failed to notice the first time.

You focus your eyes on the ring that lays on his bedside table, seeming too small for Jaemin’s own fingers and you itch you reach for it, to ask who’s it was but you remember your conversation from yesterday, how Jaemin had said he was in a similar position to you after breaking up with his ex.

Jaemin notices your silence, following your eyes to see what you were looking at and his heart drops into his stomach, chewing his bottom lip nervously as the simple piece of jewellery stares back at him.

“It’s a long story” He copies your response from last night when the topic of Eric was brought up and you nod your head in understatement. “Another time?”

“Another time” You agree.

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

[jeno’s one pubic hair - groupchat]

jeno: guys jeno: i have something to tell u jeno: hold on who the fuck changed the gc name u fucks

yangyang: AHAHAHAHAH

donghyuck: LOOOOOOOL

miwoo: guys cmon u know he’s insecure about it :(

yangyang: aint my fault jeno is only just going through puberty

donghyuck: i bet u take good care of that lil pubic hair don’t u jeno <33

jeno: die.

donghyuck: god i love it when u speak dirty to me

miwoo: leave him alone u dicks

yangyang: imagine little miss itty bitty titty telling us what to do

donghyuck: smh i will NOT take orders from THAT

jeno: why are u calling her itty bitty titty?????

yangyang: coz her boobies are small

donghyuck: ｡｡ donghyuck: that’s her tits btw

jeno: cmon theyre not small theyre just fun sized [yangyang and donghyuck laughed at this message]

yangyang: jeNOOO AHAHAHA

donghyuck: BRO

[yangyang changed the groupchat name to ‘fun sized titties’]

miwoo: do u have a death wish lee jeno

jeno: what did i do

renjun: can u pls stop talking about fucking tits and tell us what u wanted to tell us

jeno; oh yeah jeno: anyway jeno: i have important info about a party

miwoo: ?

jeno: supposed to be a HUGE ass party jeno: so many ppl from different colleges are apparently going jeno: gonna be a shit ton of booze, drugs n people folks

donghyuck: that sounds donghyuck: so sexy

yangyang: i came just thinking about it [donghyuck liked this message]

haru: ok haru: but u are missing out one big detail

renjun: who is hosting it

jeno: ah jeno: well u see jeno: um jeno: :)

miwoo: YEEUN?!?!?!?! [haru, renjun and yn emphasized this message] miwoo: LEE JENO WHAT HTE FUKC

jeno: NO SHE JUST MESSAGED ME TO INVITE ME I SWEAR !!!!!! jeno: she sent me details and ask me to invite people jeno: u guys are my people <333 [donghyuck and yangyang loved this message]

shotaro: whats going on???

miwoo: hey shotaro!!! <333

haru: hi shotaro :)

renjun: hi taro

jeno: hey man

donghyuck: HEY

yangyang: taro <3

you: <3

jaemin: hi

shotaro: (◜◡◝) hey guys !!

miwoo: why would she message u about inviting ppl to the party when she knows i hate her guts

haru: it sounds extremely sus

renjun: ^ ^ ^

jeno: IDK!!!! jeno: i’ve been ignoring her calls since friday but when theres a party mentioned u know i gotta get involved

yangyang: we’re still the best at hosting parties btw

donghyuck: fuck yeah we are

jeno: ofc we are but this one is super big and we gotta go to it jeno: plus its not ACTUALLY yeeuns party, its sunwoos but theyre planning it together coz theyre using his house jeno: yk jeno: coz he rich rich

miwoo: oh miwoo: its at sunwoos?

yangyang: i actually like sunwoo yangyang: hes kinda chill to hang out with yangyang: also he gives u stuff super cheap

donghyuck: he once rolled three joints for me without me even ASKING donghyuck: hes a angel sent from above [yangyang and jeno laughed at this message]

miwoo: didnt he fuck that new girl giselle on campus

jeno: yeah i think it was in a empty classroom

donghyuck: he fucked new girl giselle AND new girl karina donghyuck: at same time btw

shotaro: ?? shotaro: how

donghyuck: youve got a lot to learn my son

renjun: hes lying shotaro, dont listen to a word that comes out of his mouth [donghyuck disliked this message]

donghyuck: IM TELLING THE TRUTH U FCK donghyuck: literally ask sunwoo

renjun: no. fuck off. [donghyuck disliked this message]

yangyang: btw why are yn and jaemin so quiet in this gc yangyang: yn u are usually the one thats the most active in this shit wya :(

you: no im not thats u and hyuck

yangyang: i know i just wanted to hear your voice <3333

you: yang you: shut up

jeno: you can hear her voice upstairs [everyone questioned this message]

donghyuck: wat

jeno: yn is upstairs :) jeno: in jaemins room :)

haru: what?????

miwoo: jaemins room???? miwoo: yn what are u doin in jaemins room ;)

you: jeno...

jeno: i knew u were in there the entire time btw :) jeno: u are not that quiet yk

you: JENO [jeno laughed at this message]

miwoo: HUH miwoo: NOT THAT QUIET?!?!?!?!

haru: ynnnnn? haru: YN

miwoo: hello??? where tf did everyone go

shotaro: they ran upstairs to jaemins room to see yn shotaro: oh shotaro: yangyang is screaming and donghyuck is on the floor shotaro: miwoo ur bf is getting beat up by yn

miwoo: please tell her to watch out for his face and balls pls <3 miwoo: they are very precious to me

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

It’s been a nearly a week since Jeno had basically outed on what was going on between you and Jaemin: Yangyang trying to burst into the room to see first-hand if you were actually present in Jaemin’s room and he dramatically screamed when he saw that you were in fact on the bed beside him. Donghyuck laid in the middle of Jaemin’s bedroom floor and babbled some bullshit while you screech and launched yourself at Jeno for making a joke about your lack of quietness, wrapping your hands around his neck in an attempt to strangle the life out of him.

Renjun was stood in the doorway, clearly amused with the situation and even going as far as getting his phone out to document what was going on while Shotaro cowers behind him with wide eyes. Jaemin manages to pluck you off of Jeno’s body with ease, just in time for Miwoo and Haru to arrive and witness what was going on before laughing loudly.

Lucky for you, after a long and difficult conversation, your friends promised to not make anything a big deal or run off telling everyone, but that didn’t stop any of them from sending suggestive looks or flirtatious comments in both yours and Jaemin’s direction.

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Haru asks you in the comfort of her own bedroom one afternoon, sitting cross legged in front of her mirror on top of a towel as she bleaches her hair blonde, meeting your eyes through the reflection of the mirror with uncertainty.

Haru was hesitant about your decision starting what you have with Jaemin, knowing how vulnerable you were during the breakup with Eric and how vulnerable you can end up being. She’s always supportive of your choices and is always at your side when things go south, but she couldn’t hide the fact that she wasn’t too sure that you were doing the right thing.

“Who cares what she’s doing?! She’s getting dicked down!!!” Miwoo cheers happily, pumping her arms up in the air with little sound effects.

Miwoo was the excited one out of the two, glad to finally have you out of the ‘no sex, no hookup’ mindset you had for three months which, she claims, seemed like torture. She was happy you were finally allowing yourself to have fun and do whatever you wanted without worrying about anything or anyone.

“I’m not getting dicked down” You laugh awkwardly, glancing over at Renjun who sprawls across Haru’s bed in a deep sleep, his hair no longer a dark brown but two toned due to him wanting to bleach his hair along with Haru and letting her experiment.

“You’ve been doing this friends with benefits thing for, like, a week and you’re telling me that you haven’t slept with him yet?” Miwoo looks at you in disbelief, mouth agape.

“We’re taking things slow”

“He finger banged you a few days ago, sweetie… that’s not taking things slow” Miwoo shakes her head with a smile and you roll your eyes, kicking her playfully with her foot and she laughs, focussing her attention back on her nails that she’s applying acrylics too.

“As long as you fully understand what you’re going into and you’re completely okay with doing all this, then everything should be fine.” Haru says as grabs another section of her hair and applies the bleach with the brush. “I just don’t want you regretting anything or end up hurt again… because I will kill Jaemin”

You smile at that, shaking your head as you resume applying one of Haru’s fancy moisturisers to your face, rubbing the cream into your skin evenly, making sure not to miss out any areas. Miwoo holds her hand out in front of her as she scans over her light blue acrylic nails, the colour that was chosen by Jeno a few hours ago over a facetime called where they argued for a hour and a half over the colour which Miwoo, at first, found ugly until Jeno explained the significance of having light blue nails.

“Everyone knows you’re my boyfriend!!!” She had screamed at him. “Why do I need light blue nails to let people know I’m in a relationship?!”

“I know what guys are like, baby!! They’re disgusting little creatures!!” He had screamed back just as loud. “Make them light blue—let them know you’re taken by ME… wait, can you write J on your ring finger?”

“BYE JENO”

“You know…” Miwoo begins to speak, humming as she admires her nails. “The colour actually isn’t that bad, they look pretty” She slowly turns her head to meet your eyes. "Don't tell Jeno that, I can't have his ego get any bigger"

You chuckle and nod. “Okay”

“Hey, Renjun” Miwoo calls his name and he peels his eyes open casually as if he hasn’t been sleeping for the past forty minutes. She outstretches her hand towards him and wiggles her fingers to show off her nails. He looks straight at her, uninterested. “If you saw these nails, what would you think?”

“That you’re in a relationship” Renjun mumbles into the pillow.

“Oh, wow” You gape. “Jeno was right”

“So, would you make Haru wear light blue nail polish? Or acrylics?” Miwoo asks, glancing between Renjun and Haru in curiosity. “You know, seeming as though you both claim that you’re not in a relationship when it’s obvious that you both are—oh don’t give me that look, you’re not fooling anyone with this 'i don't like labels' bullshit!”

“We actually made it official last night” Haru announces as she finishes bleaching her hair, putting the brush down into the empty bowl carefully and looking over her shoulder at you and Miwoo who grin widely. You lift your hands, giving her two thumbs up and mouth ‘congrats’ the same time Miwoo throws her arms in the air.

“And why are we not celebrating?!”

“You’ll use anything as an excuse to celebrate” Renjun mutters and Miwoo completely ignores his tone, keeping her eyes on Haru who shrugs her shoulders as she cleans up after herself.

“Because it’s not a big deal” She stares at her reflection in the mirror, making sure she hasn't missed any spots on her head before she stands. “Plus, I’m low on money so I need to ask Johnny for extra shifts at the store”

Haru grabs her phone off the edge of her bed to do just that, thumbs tapping quickly against her screen as she pulls up Johnny’s contact. Miwoo tidies up her little nail station, putting things back where they belong and throwing things that she no longer needed inside Haru’s mini trash can.

“Are you going to go to that party?” You hear Miwoo ask and you take no notice, thinking it was for either Haru or Renjun but when you lift your head, you realise the question is directed to you when you lock eyes. You point to yourself. “Yes, I was talking to you”

“Oh, uh, maybe? I don’t know… haven’t really thought about it” You scratch the back of your neck. “Why?”

“Because it’s at Sunwoo’s and wherever he is, Eric is” The way she says it so bluntly causes you to firmly press your lips together, an uncomfortable feeling trickling into your stomach at the mention of his name. Miwoo lets out a sigh. “You know, I’m so sick and tired of that pink haired fucker ruining things for you!! I want you to be able to have fun and do whatever you want without worrying if he’s going to be there!!”

“I do have fun” You reassure her, despite the doubt that lingers in your mind.

“Not as much as you did before Eri—” Miwoo’s words are immediately cut off by a pillow launching across the room and smacking her straight across the face. Both of your heads snap towards the culprit, seeing Renjun with his arm outstretched and Haru glaring, her attention completely taken away from her phone. Miwoo lobs the pillow back in Renjun’s direction as she hisses. “What was that for?!”

“For you opening your big mouth” Renjun grumbles, catching the pillow with ease and placing it back under his head as he lays back down. “Be careful with what you’re saying next time, Miwoo. Use your brain before you use your mouth”

Miwoo scoffs. “You’re such an ass, has anyone ever told you that?”

The second Miwoo and Renjun start to bicker back and forth, you quietly excuse yourself and leave the room, taking no notice in the way Haru’s sad eyes watch you walk out. You head for the kitchen, immediately busying yourself with something to do to try and take your mind off what had just happened but you couldn’t, her words continued to repeat themselves in your head.

You’re aware how much you’ve changed since breaking up with Eric, you’re aware that you were no longer the same girl you were three months ago all because of a boy who isn’t really worth your time of day, yet he’s all you ever worry about.

The thought of him makes you sad, seeing him in person reminds you of all the stuff that has happened and you struggle to push it aside and forget. But, truth be told, it's been working a little since starting a friends with benefits relationship with Jaemin who somehow helps take your mind off of Eric whenever you’re with him.

Yet, whenever Jaemin isn’t around to distract you from your thoughts or somebody brings the topic of Eric up, those memories and the feelings you try to forget come back to hit you in the face. You hated it.

“Are you okay?” Haru’s voice softly speaks from behind and you nod without even looking back, busying yourself with cleaning the kitchen. You hear her feet shuffle across the floor, nearing closer and the second she lays her hand on your shoulder, you stop your movements.

She tugs at your shirt to turn you around and you comply, facing her but refusing to make eye contact which she sighs at.

“Miwoo probably didn’t mean it, you know that right?” Haru says as her hand gently pats your shoulder, her touch giving you comfort. “She’s always been straightforward and doesn’t think before what she’s saying… they’re arguing back there but Renjun is giving her some words of advice which will hopefully stick this time”

You chuckle at her words, shaking your head slightly. “It’s fine. I’m just being sensitive, that’s all”

“It’s still a sensitive topic… what you’re feeling is completely normal and completely valid, may I add” Haru smiles at you and you feel your heart warm at her kindness. “Look, you’re not going to get over what happened straight away but we’re going to help you get over it, no matter how long it takes. Miwoo is right… you deserve to be happy and have fun without worrying about anything, especially him... but we’ll help you”

“Thank you” You murmur, allowing her to wrap her arms around your shoulders and pull you in for a hug. You smile, your own arms slithering around her waist and reciprocating the hug that spreads warmth throughout your body.

During the embrace, Miwoo and Renjun emerge from the hallway of Haru’s room, Renjun’s face impassive while Miwoo looks like she was about to get down on her knees and beg for forgiveness, but instead she rushes forward with her arms wide open and crashes into your side to squeeze in between you both.

“I’m sorry” She apologises, tightening her grip on your body. “I didn’t mean it. I need to learn to shut up sometimes”

“It’s okay” You tell her, moving your hand to pat the back of her head. “You were right, anyway…”

“I know” Miwoo sighs jokingly and you laugh, pushing her away from the hug and she stumbles back slightly before composing herself. “I am seriously sorry. Sometimes the words just come out before I even realise what I’m saying… It's a curse. I am cursed”

“Well, at least you’re honest” Haru teases, earning a shove from Miwoo who mutters that she was supposed to disagree with her. The former leaves the kitchen with her boyfriend trailing behind her with his hands on her hips, leaving you and Miwoo standing alone.

Miwoo turns to look over her shoulder at you, teeth gnawing on her bottom lip to stop the words that she so desperately wants to say from flying out of her mouth, no longer wanting to hurt you or offend you in any way. She cares for you, without a doubt, and she definitely wants what’s best for you but she struggles to word it in a way that doesn’t come across as harsh.

Similar to the others, Miwoo hates Eric for what he has done and frankly, she wants to hurt him, (even though she has threatened to do it multiple times). She started to notice that you rarely talk about what happened, that you refuse to bring light to the topic and keep all of your emotions bottled up.

Miwoo hates that you do that. She wants to see you crack, she wants to see you let out all those pent up emotions and take it all out on the one that deserves it the most… maybe Jaemin can be the one that’ll help you break.

“What are you doing?” Your brows pull together in question as you realise that Miwoo’s gone too quiet while looking straight at you. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Miwoo blinks herself back to reality, her eyes meeting yours. A tight lipped smile spreads across her face as she shakes her head. “It’s nothing… wanna watch a movie?”

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

Jaemin makes himself at home easily when he presses in the code and enters your empty apartment, kicking off his shoes at the door and shuffling down the hallway in a direct beeline towards your bedroom.

Being at your place has become second nature for Jaemin, having visited a handful of times whenever you’re home or if he’s sat waiting for you to finish your classes, like today. Lucky for him, he had an early finish and unlucky for you, your classes don’t finish until late and when you gave him a quick text to let him know, Jaemin was more than happy to wait for you at the apartment.

Haru and Miwoo are also finishing their classes late so Jaemin had the place all to himself for a bit, deciding to put his backpack down at the bottom of your unmade bed before he climbs into it, pulling his phone out of his pockets and mindlessly scrolls through his instagram feed as he awaits for your arrival, hearting the pictures that appealed to him the most and a few pictures that his friends posted.

He stops on one that was recently uploaded by Miwoo. The picture is of her, Haru and you sitting in class, holding up finger guns to your temples and pulling different facial expressions. Jaemin’s eyes stick on you, the corner of his lips twitching into a grin as his finger traces your features which accidentally causes him to swipe up and onto the next photo that someone else uploaded, the smile immediately wiping off of his face as he sees the girl and the username.

Eunbin.Kwon, the username reads, and the picture of her in a art studio with paint smeared across her cheeks and a cheesy grin on her face almost makes Jaemin want to squeeze his phone and shatter it to pieces, but instead, his heart aches and his throat makes it hard to swallow.

He shuts off his phone, leaving it laying on his chest as he stares up at the ceiling, the picture replaying in his mind but the second he shuts his eyes to concentrate on his erratic heartbeat, the picture fades, and then it’s blank.

His fingers grip your bedsheets, instantly reminding him of where he is and his mind is filled with you. God, he can’t wait for you to get back. The thought of you makes his body buzz in excitement and he reaches for his phone in a flash to bring up your contact, pressing the message icon.

jaemin: when do u get here

you: in ten you: why

jaemin: bored jaemin: i cant wait to see u

you: :) you: i think we have the place to ourselves btw you: haru got work & miwoo is going over urs to see jeno

jaemin: :)

An incoming facetime call flashes across his screen and an exciting smile spreads across his lips thinking it was coming from you but it falters as he reads Jeno’s name. He sighs softly, laying back comfortable against your pillows and holding his phone above his face as he answers the call.

Jeno’s face appears on the screen, a neon green toothbrush hanging out of his mouth with toothpaste bubbling at the corners. He grins once seeing Jaemin, trying to prop his phone on the bathroom counter.

“Where are you?” Jeno speaks through a mouthful of toothpaste, hastily scrubbing his teeth with one hand while trying to prop the phone with the other.

“Y/N’s” He answers, stretching out his arm to show his surroundings to prove that he was in your bedroom. Jaemin brings the phone back to his face. “What are you doing? Why are you brushing your teeth again?”

“Miwoo’s coming over. I want her to sit on my face until she suffocates me” Jaemin snorts at that, running his fingers through his hair. Jeno spits out the toothpaste and wipes his mouth with a towel, his eyes flickering to Jaemin. “So, it seems like you and Y/N will be having the apartment to yourselves?”

“How did you know that?”

“Well, Miwoo is coming over here to be with me and Renjun said that he’s going to help Haru out with work because that kid still has a broken toe” Jeno states, throwing the towel to the side before picking up a bottle of moisturiser and squirting the contents on his hands before rubbing his face. “So, in conclusion, you and Y/N will have the apartment to yourselves… unless Yangyang cockblocks and decides to come over unannounced”

“He’s finishing up his music stuff with Donghyuck today, I spoke to him before I came here” Jaemin says, fiddling with the ring on his middle finger. “I think Shotaro is with them too. Looks like you and Miwoo will have the place to yourselves too”

“Thank god. I’ve been dying to have sex with her for days… If any of you fuckers come home early while I’m trying to dick her down, I will slaughter you all”

Jaemin laughs at Jeno’s threat, throwing his head back against the pillows with a wide smile. He briefly remembers Jeno and Miwoo having some alone time in their room when Donghyuck and Yangyang decided to burst through the front doors unexpectedly, only to scream in fright when Jeno came running naked down the stairs chasing them with Miwoo’s high heel shoe.

“You know, I can’t believe you haven’t had sex with Y/N yet” Jeno tuts as he finishes applying the moisturiser, shaking his head as he grabs his phone and walks out of the bathroom. “You’ve made out and fingered her, like, four times and you still haven’t got any action? I mean, good on you for holding back for so long but bro… couldn’t be me”

“I’ve came in my pants like a fifteen year old every time it happens so I’m not complaining” Jaemin tells him with a chuckle, his tongue licking at his lips as images of his fingers deep inside your pussy and his soiled boxers come to mind. His eyes meet Jeno’s through the screen. “I don’t want to pressure her into doing anything”

“It won’t hurt to ask” Jeno shrugs his shoulders. “And if she says no, it’s a no. Simple”

Jaemin scoffs. “I know that. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable”

“You won't” Jeno gives him a look and Jaemin gives back an innocent smile. “Right, I’m gonna go and make Miwoo some food for when she gets here… Stay safe, bro. Wrap it up before you—”

“Okay, bye Jeno”

Jaemin is quick to end the call, pressing his thumb against the end button and throwing his phone to the side just in time to hear the code to the front door being pushed in. Jaemin immediately sits up, listening to the sounds of footsteps nearing closer and closer to his destination and his attention turns to the doorway of your bedroom, eyeing the shadow that appears.

A smile instantly spreads across Jaemin’s face as you appear around the corner and enter your room, tiredly throwing down your bag before dropping beside him on the bed, shoving your face into the pillows with a groan. Jaemin’s hand touches your back, fingers kneading into the bottom of your spine before sliding upwards to your shoulder blades.

“That feels nice” You sigh softly, melting into the touch. This makes Jaemin grin, continuing his ministrations on your shoulders as you turn your head to the side to look at him. “Thank you”

Jaemin leans down, gently pecking your lips while he whispers. “You’re welcome, baby”

“Baby?” You repeat with a hum, raising your eyebrow as a small smile threatens to slip onto your face. “You really like that nickname, don’t you?”

Jaemin shrugs his shoulders, the grin still remaining on his features as he watches you flip around onto your back, his hands sliding off of your body and onto the mattress beside you. He watches you for a while, taking in your appearance which weirdly makes his heart warm. Your hair is messily splayed across your pillows, dishevelled from the wind outside and your eyes look drained, your classes and assessments clearly taking a toll on you.

But you still look really pretty, Jaemin thinks.

“What do you want to do today?” You finally ask after a few minutes of silence, not even noticing the way Jaemin has been watching you during that time. “We can watch that new series Shotaro was talking about yesterday? I’ll even cook food this time considering you did it last… or we could literally skip to the part where we make out all night—”

“I want you” Jaemin interrupts and you gape at him, still not used to his boldness as you choke on your spit in surprise. The shock on your face is evident and it almost cracks another smile out of Jaemin but he easily conceals it as he turns to you completely. “I want you. I want to fuck you… if you’ll let me”

I want to fuck you if you’ll let me. His words repeatedly ring through your ears and you struggle to catch your breath.

You’re not sure why you’ve held off having sex with Jaemin for so long, knowing that once you jump into a friend with benefits situation with someone, they’ll immediately fuck to ‘seal the deal’. But neither of you were in a rush or bothered to bring it up or even initiate it, opting to just makeout or even shove your hands down each other's pants to relieve the tension. Was now the time? Were you both finally going to give in?

“Okay” You respond.

“Okay what?” He presses, making sure that you will verbally give him the go ahead, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.

“Okay, I’ll let you fuck me”

Jaemin immediately straddles your waist as he crawls on top of you once you give him your consent, staring down at you with excitement in his eyes. A hand grips your chin, his thumb smooths over your skin before he leans down to mould his lips with yours in a deep but slow kiss.

Your body feels warm and a little stuffy, the clothes you’re wearing are starting to become uncomfortable to bare and you’re desperate to rip them off to finally let yourself breathe but you didn’t want to rush, you wanted to bask in the moment of having Jaemin on top of you.

Jaemin pulls away from your lips to lean back against his heels, bunching up his shirt in his hands before he pulls it over his head, throwing it carelessly to the side.

You take this moment to admire him. His messy black hair hangs just above his darkened eyes, lips swollen and wet. You almost start salivating at the mouth as you move your eyes south. His body is slim and toned, something he must be proud of considering you were told previously that Jaemin used to work out like crazy after an injury you weren’t too sure of.

You wanted to run your hands over his chest and his abs, to grip the necklace that dangles from his neck and pull him closer towards you but you fail to do so as his hands grasp at the shirt you’re wearing and pulls it over your head, leaving you in your bra and shorts.

Jaemin kisses you again, his hot tongue playing against yours and a low noise rumbles from the back of his throat as your hands come up to twist in his hair. His kisses move from your mouth, to your cheek, to your jaw and finds a place at your neck.

You let out a small moan when he sucks at a sensitive spot, eyelids becoming heavy. His bottom half gyrates against yours, letting you feel his cock through his sweatpants.

“I’m so hard right now” Jaemin pants against your skin, his breath hot which sends shivers down your spine. You bite down on your lip as you push him away from your body, tugging at the waistband of his sweatpants, eager to tear them off of his body.

Jaemin smiles down at you as he lets you awkwardly pull down his sweatpants, kicking them off of his legs and throwing them to the side carelessly.

You can’t help but eye the bulge in his boxers, mouth salivating at the size and the cocky smirk that crawls on his lips make you roll your eyes.

Noticing he’s the only one in just his underwear, he’s quick to reach for your shorts, keeping his eyes on yours as he tugs the material down your legs, craning his neck to press open mouthed kisses to the skin that he reveals.

Your shorts are carelessly thrown over his shoulder and the hands that caress your legs are moving upwards to your clothed heat, the material uncomfortably clinging to your wet core and you gasp as he grounds his hand against you. It wasn’t enough to give your clit the attention it so desperately needed, but it still makes your back arch in pleasure.

His hand slithers up your body, running up your stomach and over your chest, squeezing your tits over your red lacy bra which you mentally applauded yourself for picking today. His fingers wound in your hair and pull you upwards in a sitting position, your forehead almost pressed against his collar bones but the hand in your hair tugs your head back to bring your eyes up to his.

“You’re so fucking pretty” The way his husky voice compliments you sends shivers down your spine and your pussy throbbing, his hazy gaze making your head spin and you crane your neck to messily kiss his lips.

He lets you do as you please as he unclips your bra and pulls at your underwear, struggling to get the material down your thighs but you lift your hips to help him. Your teeth nibble at his bottom lip and Jaemin grunts as he feels your hand brush against his confined cock.

“Fuck—don’t” He breaths out, ripping his lips away from yours and you pull your hand away as quick as you possible could as if you’ve been scolded, eyes wide in worry that you’ve done something wrong. Jaemin laughs at your expression, pecking your cheek in reassurance. “I’m gonna cum fast if you touch me, baby… your hands will be the death of me”

You nod your head as you fall back into your pillows when Jaemin pushes you down, reaching behind him to retrieve his backpack from the ground, unzipping it fast and dipping his hand inside only to pull out a small silver packet.

“Do you carry those around with you?” You teasingly question and Jaemin sends you a grin as he finally disposes of his boxers, dick standing tall against his toned stomach.

“Just for you” He winks and you snort, wanting to make a comment but your words get trapped at the back of your throat as you watch Jaemin between your legs, your heart pounding wildly against your chest as he tears open the packet with his teeth, throwing it on your bedside table before rolling the condom on his length.

His brows scrunch in concentration as he stares down at himself, fingers working against his cock to adjust the rubber, making sure it was on securely. You find the sight in front of you exotic, the way Jaemin touches himself and how his cock twitches at the contact causes you to clench your thighs together, knees knocking at his stomach.

“What are you doing?” He asks with a chuckle, placing his hands on the top of your knees to pry your legs apart, lowering himself down between your legs and you gasp as his cock nudges against your centre.

Your body buzzes with nerves and excitement when you see his lust filled look, eyes half lidded as he stares back at you with a smile and you return the soft gesture, hands reaching up to cup his face and bring him down for a kiss.

Jaemin’s lips mould with yours as he pushes his cock head inside your pussy, breaking the kiss for a brief moment when your walls instinctively close around him before finding your lips again.

You find it difficult to continue the kiss, a shuddering breath escaping past your lips as you feel burn of his cock stretching you out, hands gripping the bed sheets for some sort of support which Jaemin spots and he grabs your wrists, flinging your arms around his shoulders so you could cling to him as he leans over you.

You both let out a shared gasp as he completely sinks into you, bottoming out and your fingernails dig into the skin of his shoulder blades.

“Fuck—jesus chri—you’re so fucking big—shit!!!” You babble, unable to form a correct sentence and Jaemin grins at that, not wanting to move yet to allow you to get used to his size.

“Breathe, baby” Jaemin coos, his hand affectionately caressing your hair while trying to calm his own breathing as he feels your walls clamp around his cock. You cry out as you feel Jaemin move slightly, his tip prodding against your sweetest spot and your legs uncontrollably twitch.

You weren’t sure if it was because you haven’t had sex in three months or if it was the size of Jaemin’s cock but your core burns at the continuous stretch, even the slightest of movements Jaemin makes sends you over the edge.

Jaemin presses chaste kisses to your face, his hips making the tiniest of movements to get comfy and you whine, your arms tighten around his shoulders as the burning feeling spreads throughout your thighs.

“Are you okay?” He asks with genuine concern, his hands still caressing your hair while smothering your face with soft, delicate kisses. “Can you take me?”

The question would’ve usually made you roll your eyes and send a slap to his bicep, but it didn’t come across as cocky or teasing, he was asking a genuine and real question and all you can do is nod.

Jaemin’s hand moves between your body, his thumb rubbing circles at your clit in hopes to help you relax and calm down your nerves while slowly beginning to rock his hips back and forth. It wasn’t a drastic movement, his dick hardly budged from inside your pussy but the feeling of him rubbing against your walls makes you let out a high pitched moan.

The sound of Jaemin breathing so heavily into your ear makes your head swirl and clench around him, light moans slipping through his lips at the hold you have on him. Fuck, you needed to hear that again.

“Jae…” You breathe out his name and he raises his head to meet your eyes. “More”

“More?” He repeats, licking at his lips. “I can give you more, baby”

He moves back, leaving just the tip buried inside your heat before pushing his hips forward, skin slapping against skin quietly. Your nails scratch at his shoulder blades as he repeats his movement, his thrusts slow but hard as he pounds you open, noises uncontrollably spilling from his mouth as your walls close around him.

“Fuck, you’re so wet” Jaemin mumbles under his breath, looking down to where your bodies are connected, panting heavily as your pussy swallows him to the base. “Look at that, you’re taking me so well”

“It feels—” You choke on a gasp. “It feels so good. You’re making me feel so good”

You feel like you could cry from the pleasure that ripples through your body, his cock rubbing against every inch of your walls and prodding repeatedly against your sweet spot. The desperation in his thrusts is enough to send you over the edge, your mouth falling open as a cry of his name leaves your lips, legs trembling around his hips with your walls convulsing around him.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you allow the euphoric feeling take over your body, your body twitching in his tight hold and he coos softly in your ear, whispering nothing but affections and praises as his thrusts grow sloppier, the grip of your heat around his cock bringing him closer to his own end.

“Wanna see you cum” You slur your words, your fingers scratching at his back before running up through his hair, tugging at his roots as you start to beg. “Pleasssse… wanna see you cum”

The look in his eyes is unrecognisable but he follows your words, teeth biting down on his bottom lip while his hips piston into yours, gripping the flesh of your thighs with his hands. A choked gasp of your name flies out of his lips when you tighten around him, helping him near his orgasm and you smile as his movements fasten, his need to cum taking over. You tug at his hair again, sharp thrusts jostle your body and you ignore the throb of your pussy, loving the way Jaemin moans out your name.

“Baby…” Jaemin grunts, his body stills and lips mushing against yours as he fills up his condom with quick spurts of cum. He struggles to keep up with the messy kiss, panting against your lips as he empties himself inside of the condom, his body tensing above you while his arms shake, struggling to hold himself above your body but you tug him down, allowing him to put his entire weight on top of you.

His tongue lazily plays with yours as you bask in each other’s embrace, your fingers still tangled in his sweaty locks and he only pulls away when your walls accidentally clench around him, breaking the kiss to wince at the sensitivity on his cock head.

You smile apologetically and Jaemin chuckles, pecking your lips before slowly pulling himself out of you. You feel empty, clenching around nothing but air and you watch with a slight pout on your lips as he carefully removes the condom from his length, making sure not to spill anything over your carpet as he disposes it in a small waste bin beside your bed.

The silence takes over you both and you’re unsure of what you’re supposed to do now. Usually after having sex with Eric, you cuddle, but you have no idea if you’re supposed to do that in a situation like this and the thought makes you instantly close your legs, already feeling shy despite Jaemin touching and exploring your body a mere few seconds ago.

You wonder if Jaemin was having the same inner thoughts as you, and even if he was, he didn’t show it. Instead, he stands up from the bed and slips out of the room. Your brows scrunch in confusion until you hear the water running from the bathroom and Jaemin appears back inside your bedroom, offering his hand out for you to take.

“Let’s go get cleaned up” He tells you as you remain laying down, unmoving from your position on the bed.

Jaemin doesn’t give you enough time to consider his words as he’s already gripping your ankles and tugging you down the bed, a loud laugh erupting from your chest as he somehow scoops you up easily over his shoulder, carrying you to the bathroom with his hands securely holding your thighs.

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

You twirl your fork around your pasta, shoving the creamy goodness into your mouth with a hum of delight, finally being able to feed your hungry self after the bath you and Jaemin had. You spent a good hour inside the bathroom, helping each other wash up and even relax a while with a few shared kisses and lingering touches.

Jaemin even helped wash your hair, applying the right amount of shampoo and conditioner, and massaging your scalp with his fingers. The act alone had felt a bit too intimate and you took it upon yourself to finish the rest, leaving the bath as quickly as you possibly could before Jaemin followed behind.

He didn’t question the rush, despite it weighing heavy on his mind, and he continued on as normal. He helped you cook pasta for dinner and even added his own little twist of extra spices and sauces.

You’re sitting together on the sofa, the TV playing whatever nonsense in the background while you dig into your food, occasionally meeting each other's eyes whenever you glance up to see what the other is doing. You immediately avert your eyes first whenever you’re caught staring, face hot with embarrassment and Jaemin chuckles every time.

“How are you feeling?”

You look from your pasta bowl to peek over at Jaemin, his eyes already looking back at you. You swallow. “How are you feeling?”

“I asked first” He retorts with a smirk but he answers you anyway, placing his empty bowl and fork on the coffee table in front of him with a clang. “I’m good”

“Cool” You nod awkwardly. “I’m good too”

“Cool” He repeats your words, his body fully facing towards you and you start to feel intimidated by his attention, averting your eyes down to your pasta bowl which was becoming empty. Damn it. Where the fuck are you supposed to look now? “Was it good?”

“Was what good?”

His face goes blank. “My dick inside your—”

“OH!” You splutter, choking on your food. Jaemin’s hand is quick to pat you on the back as you uncontrollably cough, struggling to find your breath and you put down the bowl to rub at your sore throat. Jaemin smiles, finding your reaction amusing as he rubs your back in circular motions. You clear your throat to regain yourself. “It was… okay”

“Just okay?” Jaemin raises a brow. “You left scratch marks on my shoulders and—”

“Oh my god. Shut up!” You screech, hiding your face in pure and utter embarrassment and all Jaemin could do was laugh. You keep your hands attached to your face as you mumble another answer. “It was good, really good…”

“Thank you, baby” Jaemin cheekily grins, pushing himself across the sofa to sit beside you. His arms wrap around your middle, hands creeping under your shirt and pressing against your skin for comfort, resting his head on your chest. Your own hands slip from your face slowly, eyes wide at his sudden affection and you reciprocate the hug by carefully sliding your arms around his shoulders, fingers playing with his damp hair.

Was this okay? Were we allowed to do this? You chew your bottom lip anxiously. Friends hug. Friends with benefits can do this sort of thing… It's normal. Your internal panic was cut short by Jaemin raising his head from your chest to peer at you, a slight pout on his lips.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Jaemin asks, rubbing patterns into the skin of your side to grab your attention. You meet his gaze, your heart warming at the gentle smile he gives you as he caresses your cheek. “What’s wrong?”

You shrug your shoulders. “Just thinking”

“About… ?”

“It’s nothing” You shake your head, looking away. “It’s stupid”

“Hey, look at me” Jaemin urges and you fix your eyes back to his face. “It’s not stupid… One of the rules we made was to be honest with each other, right? So, tell me… talk to me”

“I haven’t had anything like this for three months” You begin, a wave of nerves washing over you and hitting you in the pit of your stomach. “I haven’t kissed anyone in three months, I haven’t slept with someone in three months… I haven’t been like this with anyone for three months. It’s weird for me and my mind just goes overboard with so much shit, and I have no idea how to control it”

“Do you—”

“Eric and I were together for a little over a year” Jaemin sits up in shock, not expecting you to open up about your ex so soon but he’s intrigued, his hands still on your body in hopes to comfort you while you explain. “He was my first exclusive boyfriend and our relationship was fun. We did everything together… I mean, he was not only my boyfriend but he was my best friend too… I think that’s what made it so hard after he told me that he wanted to break up, to see other people. He said he loved me still, but he wanted to be single. He didn’t want to be tied down”

Jaemin’s heart clenches at the sad look on your face, the way your eyes turn glassy and you refuse to meet his gaze.

“Right after we broke up, Miwoo dragged me and Haru to this party which I didn’t realise was hosted by Eric. I saw him making out with some girl in a corner of a room… he turned to me and he smiled at me as if nothing happened the day before. He came over and kissed me to greet me as if it was the most normal thing to do”

“Y/N—”

“How could you claim to still love someone if you want to break up and see other people? How could he kiss me after breaking my heart?” The way your voice shakes and cracks makes Jaemin feel a mixture of emotions, seeing the girl in front of him slowly breaking down at the thought of another man's doings.

He softly whispers your name as he brings you forwards, allowing you to melt into his chest as he cocoons you in his arms, resting his head on top of yours. You couldn’t cry, despite feeling the absolute need to. You couldn’t scream and you couldn’t shout at the top of your lungs to let out all the emotions you wanted to let out. It was stuck and you had no idea how to let it go.

Instead, you allow yourself to relax in the arms of someone who understands your pain and can comfort you in a way that will help you forget about your problems, your fingers grasping the front of his shirt and pulling him closer even though he was already flush against your body.

Jaemin leans back from the embrace to cup your cheeks in his hands, his thumb smoothing over the skin as his eyes look into yours. “Do you want us to fight him”

The corner of your lips twitch amusingly. “What?”

“Do you want us to fight him? Because we will. Jeno can throw a few good punches, Shotaro’s quick on his feet so he can jab him a few times. Renjun’s harsh with his words so he could definitely make him cry… Donghyuck’s a little psycho so he would probably shave off his hair or cut up his clothes or something, Yangyang would probably join in”

“Oh yeah?” You giggle at his little rant, tilting your head to the side as you look up at him. “And what are you going to do?”

Jaemin ponders for a moment, lips pursing in deep thought as he glances around the room for some inspiration but a wide smirk spreads across his face as he slowly turns his attention back to you. You gulp at the familiar look in his eyes, a glint of something you were sure you had seen a few hours ago.

“I would fuck you right in front of him” His words sends something shooting straight down to your core. “I would force him to watch me make you cum more times than he ever could… I want him to hear you scream my name over and over again”

“You could do that?”

“Oh, baby” Jaemin tuts, connecting your lips for a brief moment before he whispers. “You know I can make you do that”

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

“So? How was it?” Miwoo asks you at breakfast the next morning, shoving spoonfuls of cereal in her mouth as she eyes you up. Jaemin left way before Haru and Miwoo came home last night, giving you one last mind blowing orgasm with just his fingers alone before leaving with a smug smile on his face.

The girls came in just as you got ready for bed, disappearing behind closed doors and throwing yourself in bed while giggling like a little girl who has done something so daring and new, even if it wasn’t daring or new.

You take a sip of your coffee as you raise your eyes to Miwoo. “How was what?”

Miwoo scoffs at your response. “The sex, obviously”

You slowly place your cup down on the table as you stare at Miwoo, brows furrowed with eyes wide. “How the fuck did you—”

“Oh please, I know sex like the back of my hand. Plus, you have this—” She pauses, waving her hand around your body. “—glow to you, which I know comes from having good sex. So, come on, spill everything. Tell us all the dirty little details”

“I’m actually intrigued too” Haru admits as she leans her chin on her hand.

“You guys are unbelievable” You mutter under your breath, shaking your head as you lean back comfortably in your seat. You lick your lips, keeping silent for a few seconds longer before a smile breaks out on your face. “It was really good”

“I knew it!!!” Miwoo squeals excitingly, clapping her hands together. “Is his dick big? Did he know how to use it well? Did he make you cum first? Did he—”

“Yes, yes and yes. Everything that you’re going to ask is a yes” Miwoo screeches as she kicks her feet, thrashing around in her chair and Haru keeps her composure even though the smile on her face widens every second that passes. “He even run me a bath and helped clean me up, it was crazy”

“That’s kinda romantic” Miwoo points out, eyeing you suspiciously. Your face drops at that, panic begins to rise as you start to wonder were the actions too romantic and heading towards more of a couple relationship instead of a friends with benefits one.

“It’s not romantic” Haru reassures you with a gentle smile as she notices the shift in your demeanor. “It’s just him giving you aftercare, it’s normal”

“Sounds quite suspicious to me” Miwoo hums to herself, lips pursed as she eyes you one last time before grinning widely again. “Is he into dirty talk? Did he talk dirty to you?”

“Not really, he said a few words but it seemed like he was holding back on a lot of it” You take a sip of your coffee to let Miwoo squeal before you start talking again. “I, uh, I actually brought up the whole Eric situation to him… I told him everything”

Haru sits up straight. “You did? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it just… sorta came out? I felt comfortable telling him and Jaemin just sat quietly and listened to everything I had to say” You heart warms as you recall what happened, the way Jaemin watched you in concern and kept a comforting hand on your body while you opened up about your past made you thankful.

“What did Jaemin say?” Miwoo presses. “Does he want to kill Eric too?”

“He said that he’d get the guys to beat him up” You tell them, averting your eyes away from them shyly as you remember what else he said. “And that he would fuck me in front of Eric”

Haru pulls a face. “That’s so—”

“Hot” Miwoo cuts her off with a gasp, fanning herself with her hand as she shakes her head. “That’s so fucking ho—why can’t Jeno be like that?!?!”

“Um, Jeno is like that” Haru points out, crossing her arms over her chest. “He literally wanted to fuck you in front of that guy that was flirting with you two weeks ago”

Miwoo blinks. “Yeah, but, that’s not the same thing… I want him to fuck me in front of an ex-boyfriend”

“You don’t have an ex-boyfriend”

Miwoo throws her arms in the air dramatically. “Why are you bullying me?! This feels like a personal attack right now, Jeon Haru”

“Because you make no sense!!” Haru laughs loudly. You sigh, bringing the cup to your lips as their bickering gets louder. “How can you say you want Jeno to be like that when you don’t even have a ex-boyfrie—”

“It was just a figure of spee—hey! Stop bringing up the fact that I haven’t got an ex-boyfriend!!! Do you have a death wish?!?!” Miwoo sucks at her teeth as she looks Haru up and down with a disgusted look on her face. She abruptly turns her head, startling the both of you. “I don’t even want to look at you”

“Good” Haru shoves a spoonful of cereal in her mouth. “You nearly made me lose my appetite”

“Fuck you!!!”

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

tags 🏷: @ijuuy | @lalalovejeno | @m1ss-foodi3 | @ukiyone | @choppedupcactus | @generationct | @luckyonejaehyun | @dnylwoo | @parkchaeyoung1997 | @sunshinedhyuck | @daydreamiies | @ahgastayzen | @beingpeachy

@luvenshiti | @ye0njunch01 | @daisybutterlions | @constantinopleo | @deryderydery | @yuthereal-mp4 | @wonnieluvs | @kyngaji | @baekhyunangst | @jaeminie-cricket | @therewillalwaysbearainbow |@heychan | @subhyuck

@bockhyun | @jvngkookks | @carelessshootanonymous

me rn x

omg

ben here since i ws 13 wsg😟

im fucking sobbung help

KIDULT 2/2 | J.CM

꒰ synopsis ꒱ changmin always believed he was never fond of children, especially when he took the job at your daycare. little did he know the child in him was playing hide and seek, finally revealing itself after growing to love the kids. oh, and you too

꒰ pairing ꒱ daycareworker!changmin x genderneutral!reader

꒰ genre ꒱ strangers to lovers, daycare au, slow burn, fluff, angst, features hyunjae and the rest of the boyz as children

꒰ warnings ꒱ children, car accident, major character death, descriptions of blood, sprinkled bits of profanity and capitalization, and an overall merry bad ending

꒰ word count ꒱ 41.2k+ ( 14.3k+ )

꒰ perspective ꒱ 2nd person omniscient

‘ playlist two ›› spotify, youtube

‘ author's note!! 🍃 — this fic is for @junjungsunwoo 's merry bad ending collab!! biggest thanks to @pjmaparty , @fullsunfluff , @bbanghoonie , and @heejojo for beta reading!! this is the second part out of two <3

‘ taglist ›› @nilesig @reniqt @sunfics @wooyoung-a @kimaya2209 @frickyratz @deputyjuyeon @stealanity @hwallswrld @kyu-rious @changminurheart

NAVIGATION | TBZ MASTERLIST | PART ONE

The jingle from the front doors makes your ears perk, rushing out the playroom and into the entrance. The sight of Changmin never fails to bring a smile to your face, and you immediately wrap your arms around his waist, greeting him with a kiss on his nose.

“You’re here later than usual.”

He sets down his umbrella after closing it and returns the kiss by pressing one onto your cheek. “It’s only 6:10am, dummy. I was struggling to find my umbrella.”

“It just felt way longer since Hyunjae has been here for an hour.”

The statement causes Changmin’s smile to vanish, his lips being slightly parted due to the shock.

But before you allow him to speak, you release him from your hold, dragging him inside the playroom to say hi to the eight-year-old.

“Teacher Changmin!!” the boy squeals, dropping his pencil onto the table before running over to the taller male, engulfing him in a life threatening hug. “I was so bored.”

The statement makes you scoff loudly, standing by your desk as you watch the two. “I said we could watch a movie if you wanted to.”

Hyunjae happily allows himself to be brought into Changmin’s arms, giggling at how he’s now taller than you. “We can’t watch a movie without popcorn.”

Changmin nods, shifting his gaze from Hyunjae over to you. “He’s right, you know. No movie is ever good without popcorn.”

All of a sudden, the male gasps loudly, remembering the plan he had for the day. “Hyunjae, want to go shopping with me? Let’s get some popcorn.”

“Shopping?” Hyunjae’s eyes light up, struggling to remain still in Changmin’s arms after hearing the suggestion. “Shopping??” he repeats.

“Yes, shopping.” Changmin laughs at Hyunjae’s enthusiasm, the corner of his lips tugging slightly upwards. “Teacher Y/N can’t come though.”

He looks over at you, fully expecting your eyebrows furrowing at his response.

“Why can’t I come?”

“The daycare’s opened, remember?” He sets Hyunjae on the ground, urging him to clean up his belongings. “We’re going to be gone for a while.”

“I’m assuming you’re not just going to buy popcorn, are you?” A frown makes its way to your face, slowing your breathing in the process.

“Perhaps.”

You sigh, not wanting to question him any further. You know Changmin has his reasons; he always does, and regardless of what explanation he gives you, you’ll still have to stay within the daycare to look after the other boys.

“You’re going to miss what I have planned for this morning, though…” Your words trail off, your gaze falling to the ground. It’s an understatement to say that you were excited for what you had planned, especially since it relates to one of your ‘dates’ in the past.

“We won’t be gone for long, okay? I’m just going to be stealing him for a few hours.” He cracks a smile and goes to stand in front of you, taking your hand in his. Changmin easily reassures you with a kiss on the lips while his thumb unconsciously rubs the back of your hand. “We’ll be back before you know it.”

Feeling his plump lips gently pressed against your fingers is what convinces you to let him go for the time being, nodding. “...Okay okay, don’t take too long. I’m going to miss the two of my favorite boys.”

“We won’t.” A cheeky smile is brought to his face when he goes back in to kiss you once more, subtly linking his pinky with yours. “We’ll miss you more.”

The kiss would’ve lasted longer if Hyunjae didn’t finish cleaning as fast, running over to Changmin with a loud ‘I’m done!’.

“Have fun, okay?” You wave Hyunjae goodbye as Changmin picks him up again, walking the two outside the daycare.

//

“My butt hurts,” Hyunjae whines, desperate to leave the car.

“A thirty minute ride is not that long,” Changmin mumbles, unbuckling the boy out of his seat.

“Yes it is!” he counters, stretching his limbs. “If my butt hurts, that means the car ride was long!”

“Your butt is fine.” Changmin gives Hyunjae’s butt a gentle pat after helping him out of the car, closing the door shut behind him.

“We could’ve just walked to get popcorn,” he huffs.

Changmin looks up at the sky, glad they no longer need an umbrella due to the rain lessening immensely. He takes Hyunjae’s hand into his, tightly holding onto it as they cross the street over to the line of stores. “We’re not only here for popcorn, you know.”

“Then why are we here?” Hyunjae asks, looking up at the male.

“To buy a special something for a special someone.” A smile grows onto Changmin’s lips when he gives the explanation, not including any more hints for the sole purpose of wanting the boy to figure it out himself.

It finally clicks when Hyunjae is brought to the outside of a jewelry store, shaking Changmin’s hand aggressively while jumping up and down. “Are you buying a ring for Teacher Y/N??”

Changmin laughs, pushing the door open for the two to enter. “Bingo.”

Hyunjae bites back a squeal, letting go of Changmin’s hand to run over to the shelves of rings displayed behind glass panels.

Changmin heads over to the counter, greeting the worker with a warm smile before explaining his situation. Meanwhile, Hyunjae is busy roaming around the store in awe at the amount of diamonds he was seeing. Constant oohs and aahs are heard from the child while the two adults are conversing about the upcoming planned proposal.

“When do you plan on proposing?” the young worker asks, resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she looks at Changmin dreamily.

“Soon, actually. Maybe next week? This kid’s birthday is soon, and I want it to be sort of a gift to him, you know?” Changmin gestures over to Hyunjae before peeking over his shoulder, seeing the eight-year-old on his tippy toes with his face pressed up against the glass.

“That is soon! I hope you find your special ring here, then.” She follows his gaze and spots the boy, her lips forming into an ‘o’. “Is that your son?” she asks, her gaze flickering between Hyunjae and Changmin to see if she could spot any resemblance.

The layer of pink forming on Changmin’s cheeks show how much the question caught him off guard, stutters falling past his lips. “Oh- uh, uhm, n-no, no he isn’t.”

“Teacher Changmin!!” Hyunjae exclaims immediately after, waving to the teacher to come over.

The worker is able to connect the dots after hearing the call and nods, the smile on her lips never faltering.

Changmin goes over to Hyunjae and crouches down by his side, peering into the glass. “What’s up, Hyunjae?”

“Look! That ring reminds me of Teacher Y/N!”

The worker behind the counter joins the two boys, checking to see what the little boy was referring to.

“That one?” Changmin asks, pointing to one of the rings.

Hyunjae shakes his head, adjusting Changmin’s finger by taking it into his own fingers and pointing to the one he was talking about. “That one! The one with the twisty thing.”

Changmin lets out an ‘ah’ at the sight of it, admiring the ring for a few seconds before speaking.

“It’s simple. I like that.”

“That’s our twisted halo ring,” the worker introduces, grabbing the two boys’ attention. “I’d love to bring an extra out to show you if you’d like.”

Changmin puts his hands on his thighs and stands up, nodding. “That’d be wonderful, thank you.”

Hyunjae begins to tug on Changmin’s hand, pulling the teacher back down to his height. “Halo ring??” he whispers.

When Changmin shows his confusion by tilting his head, Hyunjae moves to reach for the paper in Changmin’s back pocket, knowing that it would be there. Ever since he received Hyunjae’s painting from you, he makes sure to always bring it everywhere with him, considering it good luck. Hyunjae only found out about it recently when Changmin flaunted it off one night, saying that the painting is why he won a certain carnival game.

Considering it’s been two years since Hyunjae has painted it, some of the paint has definitely chipped off, but the halo continues to remain on the top of your head, always managing to bring a smile to everyone’s faces at the sight of it.

Hyunjae unfolds it and points to the halo, shoving the painting in front of Changmin’s face. “See? Halo!!”

“Some things are just meant to be, aren’t they?” Changmin sighs, taking the paper into his own hands. He admires it and the little details Hyunjae has managed to add, reminiscing the day he saw it for the first time ever. Little did he know he would actually get to be with you. “Dang, Hyunjae. I can’t believe you painted this when you were six.”

“Can I paint a better one?” he offers. “With a brush? That one looks terrible because I used my finger.”

Changmin ponders the idea, tucking the piece of paper back into his pocket after refolding it. He decides to mess around with the boy, patting his head. “I don’t know, Hyunjae,” he murmurs, cupping his cheek. “This one means a lot to me…”

It hurts his heart when he sees Hyunjae’s face fall, but he keeps up his act, grazing his thumb over his skin.

Shortly after, the worker returns with a box in her hands, placing it onto the counter, and before it could drag Changmin’s attention away, the teacher goes to lean into Hyunjae’s ear.

“A new painting would make a great wedding present, by the way,” he whispers.

And with a wink, he leaves the boy to head over to the counter, unable to stop smiling after seeing Hyunjae’s happy demeanor return.

//

“We’re back!!”

Although Changmin announces it to the class, his eyes are strictly locked onto you. You’re sitting by the teacher’s desk, writing something. You don’t pay attention to him whatsoever, the pen still moving in your hand.

Hyunjae greets the other boys and runs over to Juyeon’s table, joining him and Hyungseo to see what they are doing.

Changmin frowns at the lack of a reaction from you and makes his way over to your desk, but by then, you are hidden, doing something fairly quickly below the desk before revealing yourself to him.

“It’s about time you noticed my presence,” he huffs, setting the grocery bag on the table.

“I was doing something, Jichang.” You roll your eyes and sit up from your seat, eyeing the bag Changmin just sat down. All it has is a box of popcorn packs inside, making you raise a brow. “It took you five hours to only buy popcorn?”

“Let’s just say we got distracted.” He grins, turning his head to face the other children only to realize the amount of flowers within the playroom.

The counters with sinks are decorated with flowers in vases while the rounded tables are full of scattered petals and leaves. The boys are playing with the flowers, some of them making flower crowns while the other ones are sorting the petals into piles by their colors.

Younghoon grins at his finished product and rises from his seat, walking over to Changmin. “I made this for you,” he explains. He brings the linked daisies up into the air, revealing a flower crown with the heads tucked into the stems.

“You made one for Changmin and not me?” you gasp, dramatically throwing a playful fit that Younghoon was surely used to.

“Chanhee is making yours right now, Teacher Y/N. He broke it, so he’s restarting.”

Changmin leans down and tilts his head forward, allowing Younghoon to crown him with the daisies. He gives Younghoon a tight hug and whispers a thank you before waving him off.

“Still can’t believe you got yours first,” you mumble, and Changmin chortles. He leans in to kiss the top of your head, unable to go ten minutes without showering you with affection.

“You’ll get yours soon. Don’t worry, honey.” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, humming.

“Honey? That’s a new one.”

“It’s cute. I’ll try to use it more for you.”

You smile, resting your head against his shoulder as you gaze at the boys, all ten of them doing something completely different.

“You know, I was going to have them clean up for lunch, but they all wanted another half hour to finish.” You reach to wrap your fingers around his pinky, holding onto it. “They wanted to wait for you and Hyunjae.”

“What did you have them do? Make flower crowns?” He uses his free hand to play with your hair.

“Kind of.” You look up at Changmin while wearing a crooked smile, one that made his heart burst. “See the vases of flowers on the counters? The boys made those themselves. I actually got a majority of the flowers from the field a few miles away, remember?”

He raises a brow, letting his hand drop to the side. “The one where I got stung?”

“Precisely. Also!!-” You remove your head from his shoulder and move behind your desk, bending down just like you were earlier. You take out a white vase with purple flowers shoved into it, and the sight almost makes Changmin laugh.

“I may or may not have cheated a bit and bought a few extra purple flowers from a nearby flower shop, but I’d say it’s worth it, don't you think?” You smile at the assortment of flowers, but when you turn to look at Changmin, he has a hand over his mouth, truly trying his best to contain his laughter.

“You can laugh, you know,” you sigh, setting the vase onto the table. You fully expected this response from him, especially with how messy the assortment came out to be, so you aren’t at all offended.

“I’m sorry it just- Y/N did you make that?”

“Kind of? The other boys helped me with it, and we all kind of struggled, but purple is your favorite color, right?”

He nods, bringing the vase into his own hands.

“In all honesty, I would’ve fixed it, but the messiness is kind of what makes it- special. It reminds me of how we met too.”

Your sheepish tone softens Changmin immediately, gazing at the flowers. “How so?”

“Well,” you begin, “if you think about it- our first impression of each other wasn’t the best. I thought you were incompetent.”

He shoots his head up to look at you, snorting at the comment. “Then why did you hire me?”

“I was desperate, but that’s not the point,” you grumble, taking the vase from him. “It’s just….the way we met- it’s like, well, it wasn’t perfect, but it...it was real, nonetheless.” You started playing with the petals, running your fingers across the smooth surfaces. “Just like these flowers. They’re not the best looking bunch out there, but they’re real.”

You set the vase aside. “I considered buying fake ones so they would last longer, but I decided against it.” You then look at him. “They look pretty regardless, don’t you think?”

He looks at them and smiles. “They do.”

“But, all that aside, what had you gone for five hours, Mr. Ji?” You look at him skeptically, teasing him through your tone.

He grins, playing along with your words by teasing you in return. “Nothing in particular. Why do you ask?”

“You’re not keeping something from me, are you?” You cross your arms over your chest, pouting.

“Hm...maaaaybe.” He has his arms behind his back, looking at you like a kid that’s hiding a secret from their parents.

“Teacher Y/N!!” Chanhee interrupts, erupting from his seat. He waves the chained daisies in the air. “I finished your crown!!” he yells.

Changmin urges you over to the boy, forcing you to forget your previous conversation.

“Don’t think I’ll forget about this,” you mutter.

“I’ll tell you in a few days, okay? Now go over to him to be crowned the love of my life.”

//

The day has finally arrived, and Changmin’s worry is constantly bubbling up within him, unable to stay in one spot.

While the rest of the kids are in the parking lot, you, Changmin, and Hyunjae are in the playroom to gather last minute items.

Well, only you are doing so.

Changmin is busy pacing around behind you, gaze constantly shifting between the box in his hands and your back turned to him. He’s always been confident in whatever he did, but to be proposing was just on another level Changmin wasn’t used to.

Thoughts flooded his head, clearing his throat every few seconds. You would turn around to see if he was alright, but he would shrug it off, saying that he was just excited for Hyunjae’s birthday.

Hyunjae snorts loudly when hearing Changmin’s lame excuse, leaving the round tables to grab Changmin’s hand. He pulls Changmin away from you and to the other side of the room, explaining that he needed help with putting on the party hat.

He brings Changmin over to your desk, making him crouch down before asking him the question he refused to stop pestering Changmin about.

“You have the ring, right?” he asks, furiously shaking his hand. The excitement radiating off of Hyunjae causes his whisper to be way louder than intended, making Changmin’s eyes widen.

The teacher hushes him, praying that you hadn’t heard what Hyunjae ever so carelessly asked.

He looks at you standing by the sinks, and thankfully you haven’t reacted whatsoever. You are too busy moving around the playroom to even care about what the two were talking about, much less doing, taking the utensils out of the plastic bags you put them in.

“I do, Hyunjae, and no, I’m not showing you for the nth time.” He rolls his eyes, tightening his grip around the navy blue box.

Hyunjae frowns, taking note of the fist Changmin’s creating in his right hand. The teacher grabs one of the party hats off of your desk and snaps it onto the birthday boy’s head, eliciting an ‘ow’ out of him.

“It’s your birthday,” Changmin reminds, booping his nose with his finger.

“Yeah, but-....but still!!” Hyunjae begins to whine, throwing an unnecessary fit.

Throughout the two and a half years of knowing Hyunjae, Changmin learned that Hyunjae doesn’t really make a fit out of anything unnecessary. It was a change from the other boys you two watched over, but it didn’t settle correctly within him.

So despite how loud Hyunjae got with his whines, Changmin could only smile, glad that the boy is comfortable enough to throw a playful fit over something that doesn’t even have to do with him.

He sets the box onto the ground to cup both of Hyunjae’s cheeks, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead. Being with the young boy really calmed his nerves, especially when he takes the box back into his fingers with ease.

“C’mon Hyunjae, let’s go outside. The other boys have been waiting for you for a while now.” Changmin extends his left hand, wiggling his fingers.

Hyunjae grabs it after sniffing loudly, adjusting the hat on top of his head as the two begin to make their way to the door.

Changmin peeks over his shoulder to look at you, his eyes becoming locked onto your figure. His heart is pounding against his chest as he’s reminded of how today is the day. The day you’ll become more than a tango duo that has been sharing sweet little nothings and kisses for the past two years.

You’re dressed beautifully, as always, but your fits for special occasions never fail to make him extremely flustered, truly taken aback by your beauty.

“You coming, Y/N?” he asks, garnering you attention by amplifying his voice.

“One sec!” you call out, informing the two. You dump the remaining utensils into the paper plates and rush over to the boys with the stack in your hand. You reach out to hold onto Hyunjae’s other hand, looking down at him with a warm smile that has resided on your face. “Excited?”

“More than ever,” he responds, nodding furiously. He then resumes to pull the two of you out the playroom and outside the daycare, harshly tugging onto your hands.

“Let’s go!” the now nine-year-old commands.

With how much Hyunjae is tugging on your hand, it almost makes you drop your plates, and Changmin laughs at how cute you are when you stumble over your feet.

“Careful, Hyunjae,” Changmin warns when beginning to cross the street, constantly looking both ways before allowing the boy to walk over to the parking lot.

Hyunjae continues to lead the two teachers to the nine other boys occupying themselves by the tables in the parking lot, loud music blasting through the speakers you displayed earlier.

Hyunjae releases both of your hands when Youngjae tosses a balloon at his face, charging at the six-year-old when the younger boy cackles.

“Can you lower the music? I’ll light the candles.” You approach him with a gentle kiss to his cheek, setting the plates down by the cake Sangyeon helped you place.

Changmin does exactly as you say, and by the time the music is lowered, you have gotten all nine candles on the cake to light up. Sangyeon is the one who initiates the birthday song, singing it very loudly for others to join in.

And unlike Karaoke Sundays, you join along in the singing, clapping your hands along to the rhythm while you’re watching a bouncy Hyunjae make his way over to the cake.

He blows out the candles once the song ends, causing everyone to clap.

“Should we do cake first or presents?” you ask, letting the birthday boy decide.

“Cake!!” Haknyeon shouts, bringing the attention over to him.

You’re playfully sending a glare towards the interruption while Hyunjae smiles brightly, agreeing. “We can do cake,” he affirms.

As you’re busy cutting the cake, Changmin has unintentionally drifted to the opposite side of the parking lot, resuming his pacing in his spot. His fingers fiddle with the box in his hand, wondering how he should come across this proposal. It doesn’t help that he hasn’t even asked you (much less anyone else) out before, so to be proposing gave him another level of anxiety.

Changmin has already celebrated Hyunjae’s birthday twice in the past, but this one certainly proves different. This one is special. The present he has for Hyunjae is something he’d never be able to outdo in the future years to come, and even Hyunjae knows that.

So it explains why the youngster sprints over to Changmin instead of standing in line for his slice, tugging on his shirt rather aggressively.

“Now??” he whines, practically begging Changmin to get it over with.

Changmin feels his breath hitch in his throat, growing hesitant with every passing second. His mind is running with countless thoughts, unable to organize them. This causes his brain to malfunction, realizing that this maybe wasn’t a good idea after all.

“Hyunjae, maybe-...maybe this isn’t a good idea. I haven’t even asked Y/N out. It’s too early, I don’t think I can do this. I’m- I don’t know, I’m sorry Hyunjae. Maybe another time?”

But Hyunjae completely disregards every word that leaves Changmin’s mouth and reaches for the male’s closed fist. He pulls the teacher’s fingers open to retrieve the box, running away with it in his hold.

Changmin stares at him in disbelief, his arm still being extended outwards with his hand empty of the box. Changmin has been holding onto that box ever since he arrived at the daycare, and for it to be taken from his grasp for more than ten seconds made his heart plummet. He wants to chase after Hyunjae, to take it back, and never show his face again due to the embarrassment shooting up his neck.

Hyunjae’s party hat falls off his head when he reaches you, but he doesn’t care, panting as he reaches to poke your side.

“Hyunjae!!” you yell, flinching at the touch. “You can’t surprise me when I have a knife in my hand,” you frown, setting it aside after handing Haknyeon his rather large slice of cake.

Without saying a word, Hyunjae raises the box into your view by presenting it in the palm of his hands, looking at you with wide eyes.

Meanwhile, Changmin’s suffering in the background, his feet unable to move as he bites on his fist. His mind is constantly running with thoughts of grabbing Hyunjae and tossing him across the world for doing such a thing. He wants to reverse time and never have bought the ring in the first place, the idea of rejection stabbing at his heart repeatedly.

You raise a brow at the sight of the unfamiliar navy box, bringing it into your hold.

Changmin starts to sob internally when seeing you open the box, moving to hide behind one of the set out unfoldable chairs. And just like a kid, he brings his hands over his ears, preparing himself for the worst possible outcome with his knees pressed up against his chest.

But his self-deprecating state doesn’t falter Hyunjae’s smile in the process; if anything, it only made it grow impossibly wider, bright eyes anticipating your reaction.

All the boys have stopped whatever they were doing to look at you, only now realizing what was happening.

Your eyes finally fall onto the ring in the box, and your heart nearly stops in your chest. Although your lips are parted, you’re left with no words to speak.

You have no clue what to feel.

But you know your answer. Your mind is chanting ‘yes’ repeatedly in your head as you think of the future the diamond ring holds, but the most important man is missing from the scene.

You scan the parking lot for Changmin and spot him instantly behind one of the chairs.

If it wasn’t for his white shirt flowing through the breeze, Sunwoo and Youngjae pointing at him definitely gave it away.

With shaky fingers, you close the box. You’re nervous yourself; hell, this is the last thing you were expecting on a day like this. You make your way over to the chair with slow steps, Hyunjae quick to tail after you.

You’re finally able to bring the entirety of Changmin into your view when you approach him. His eyes are closed incredibly shut with his arms wrapped tightly around his legs, slowly rocking back and forth in his spot.

The sight makes you melt in your spot, and seeing him only confirms the fact you want to be with him. You want to be with him until the end, until your very last dying breath, and you need him to cooperate with you. Just like the day Changmin confessed, you are now basically begging for a response from him, wanting to hear that he does want to get married to you.

He senses your presence and peeks an eye open at you, closing it immediately after at the sight of you holding the box.

“Peek-a-boo,” you whisper, removing the chair so you could see him clearer.

You can hear Sunwoo snickering in the background, but it quickly turns into wheezes when Chanhee elbows him in the chest.

Changmin opens his eyes again at the sound of your voice, slowly allowing his gaze to meet yours. He smiles warmly, slightly waving his hand up towards you. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” you laugh, grabbing one of his arms to pull him up onto his feet.

He immediately breaks out into incoherent rambles, fixing his dress shirt. “I- uh, well Y/N, heh, you see, uhm...funny story, actually-”

You cut him off by waving the box in his face, handing it to him. “I’m assuming this is yours.”

Changmin drops it like it’s fire, raising his hands up in the air defensively. Hyunjae groans at the teacher’s stupidity, and Youngjae is giggling in the background, shortly joined by Sunwoo and Juyeon.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about!! That- that isn’t mine, uhm, yeah. Who-...who told you it was mine?” His nervous laughter trails off when he scratches the back of his, his cheeks being completely flushed with a bright shade of pink.

“Who knew Teacher Changmin could be this embarrassing?” Haknyeon grumbles, shoving a forkful of cake into his mouth. Sangyeon reaches over the table to slap the blonde boy’s head, telling him to shut up.

You’re sending daggers towards Changmin’s way through your gaze, bending down to pick up the box. Thankfully, you’re easily calmed down by Haknyeon’s comment, laughing to yourself.

Changmin has his hands dropped to his sides, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he eyes the box in your hands. He doesn’t say anything else, knowing the situation will only turn out worse if he utters another word.

Because of this, you understood that this won’t be going anywhere. Changmin will continue to deny his possession being his, and it would be no use just standing there, trying to hand the engagement ring back to him.

So you take matters into your own hands, heart racing as your mind impulsively makes you move down onto one knee.

You certainly weren’t expecting to propose on Hyunjae’s birthday, but regardless of that fact, your hands move on their own accord, opening the box to present the ring to him.

Hyunjae is holding back squeals in the background, you could tell, and he’s grabbing onto Juyeon’s hand, holding it tightly as he anticipates what’s going to happen next.

And with a whisper, you finally ask the awaited question.

“Changmin, will you marry me?”

He, along with the other boys, gapes at your response, and Hyunjae screams ‘YES’, shaking Juyeon by his shoulders.

The smile lingering on your lips shows Changmin that you already know his answer, but you continue to stay on one knee, waiting for a reply.

Changmin feels like screaming, wanting to say ‘yes’ instantly just to reassure you. He wants to pull you up onto your feet and press his lips against yours, keeping you in his arms until the world ends. He wants to scream ‘we’re getting married’ and show you off to the world, but he does none of it as he stands there in shock, growing weak at the ever so pretty sight of your smile.

“Oh brother,” Hyunjae mutters, letting go of Juyeon’s shoulder to run over to the two of you.

He pulls the ring out of the box and knees Changmin’s thighs, getting him to react. “Say yes,” he demands, grabbing his hand to shove the ring onto his finger.

Changmin wheezes out a ‘yes’ in pain, rubbing his thigh as Hyunjae figures out how to get it to fit. The ring was too small for all of his fingers. Well, all but one.

So he slips it onto his pinky finger, giving you a tight hug once you thank him.

He runs back to where he was previously standing, and you get onto your feet, brushing off any dirt that remained on your knee.

You finally look at Changmin and notice the way he’s gazing at the ring. It was meant for you, so to see the ring on his finger only made his mind go dizzier.

Before you could say anything, Changmin looks up and doesn’t hesitate to bring you close against him, linking the pinky with one of yours.

“I’d say yes a million times. Yes, I’ll marry you. Yes, I’ll be your husband. Yes, I’m yours.” He uses his other hand to cup your cheek, making your eyes lock with his. “Holy fuck, I’m yours.”

You laugh loudly, happiness filling up your lungs. You swing your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a quick kiss.

“You’re real,” you whisper against his lips, half hooded eyes looking into his. “You’re real, and you’re mine.”

“I’m forever yours,” he murmurs, “and you’re forever mine.”

That’s the last thing you hear from him before he pulls you into another kiss, pressing a hand up against your back.

//

You have a book in your hands when Changmin exits your bathroom, purposely having his entrance to your bedroom go unnoticed as you continue to ‘read’.

He’s about to flaunt how good he looks after moisturizing when you don’t even spare him a glare, sending him into a pout when he reaches your bed. “You’re not even reading that,” he mumbles.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re reading it backwards,” Changmin points out, referring to how you keep flipping the pages into the opposite direction. He adjusts his flannel pajamas before joining you on your bed, letting out a content sigh at the fluffiness of your blankets.

“I have powers you’re not aware of,” you hum matter-of-factly.

A ‘hey!’ escapes you when Changmin snatches the book from your grasp, confiscating it for the time being.

He reaches over you to set the book on the nightstand, taking note of the time displayed on the alarm clock.

“It’s-...nine pm, Y/N,” he states before looking back at you. “It’s our first time together in your apartment at this time. I’m not letting you ignore me with a book.”

When you think about his words, he isn’t wrong. For the past year, you’ve been inviting Changmin to stay the night in your apartment whenever it got too late (an example being Hyunjae being picked up in the middle of the night). But otherwise, he’s never been here earlier than 11pm.

The crack of thunder accompanies the silence that washes through the atmosphere, and Changmin moves to bring the blankets over both of your torsos, making sure you’re comfortable. He doesn’t even question your lack of words, knowing you’re thinking about something whenever creases form on your forehead.

He rests on his side with his head propped up onto his hand, waiting for you to notice him staring at you while the rain patters against the windows.

It takes a few minutes before you finally notice him, heat shooting up to your ears when your eyes unintentionally lock with his. He smiles at your shyness, pulling you to lie down with him.

“What are you thinking about, honey?” Changmin has you close to him when he runs his fingers through your hair, fluffing it up.

The pet name never fails to calm you.

“About us,” you respond simply.

“Us?” He helps to untangle the knots in your hair, gently loosening them.

The room is dimly lit, but that changes only for a mere second when the lightning decides to be present. Though, it only adds to your comfort, knowing you’re safe in Changmin’s embrace.

“We entirely skipped the dating stage, didn’t we?”

His movements stutter at your question. “...Kind of? I mean yeah, basically, but I don’t mind.” Changmin pauses, shifting his gaze from your hair and down to your eyes. “Do you?”

You shake your head, pulling his hand out of your hair. “The thing is- I just never really got a chance to call you….my boyfriend.” The last part becomes a whisper, focusing on interlacing your fingers with his.

He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, the sounds of the rain eventually drowning out as he makes you his focal point.

And out of nowhere, he sighs dramatically, letting go of your hand to look at the ceiling. “Alas, it’s a loss.”

You slap his chest for talking like that, a throaty cackle escaping him shortly after. He brings an arm over his forehead, continuing to stare at the ceiling and the shadows of the window panel.

“But honestly? Y/N?” He turns his head to look at you. “I prefer fiancé.”

You giggle at how he’s always managed to be so smooth, rolling your eyes. He goes back to turning his entire body to have it face yours, sticking out his pinky. “Can you believe we’re engaged?”

The question makes you scoff, laughing. “Can you believe we’re going to be married?” you counterattacked, linking your pinky with his. “Us?”

He raises his brows. “Wow, I’m hurt. Personally, I think I look stunning in a suit.”

Your toothy smile shines through the dark when you look at him. “I actually don’t doubt that one bit.”

The playful atmosphere seems to fade when you’re given time to just get lost in each other’s eyes, slowly retracting your pinky from his.

He looks down at his fingers, and reality finally settles in.

“We’re going to get married,” he whispers.

Changmin then realizes there’s something he’s planned on doing yet never did earlier that day, so he gets you to sit up with him. You’re confused, as expected, but you slowly start to understand when he wiggles the ring off of his finger.

He asks for your hand and slowly slips it onto your ring finger, and the added weight takes a toll on your heart. It stops beating in your chest, and only now do you understand why Changmin was looking at his finger ever so lovingly earlier at Hyunjae’s party. This time, you’re the one that’s finally able to admire the diamond and the curves of the ring, finding it absolutely gorgeous.

“When are we going to get married?” you ask, looking up at him. “Where? And our honeymoon? There’s so many things we need to plan-” you pause. “We’re making Hyunjae our best man, no exceptions.”

“Definitely,” Changmin affirms, clicking his tongue. “The boy is one hundred percent mature enough to make an entire speech about our relationship.”

You laugh, agreeing with the nod of your head. “Okay, but seriously, Changmin. How are we going to plan all of this? We’re just- two losers working at a daycare.”

“Two soon-to-be-married losers,” he corrects. He brings you into his lap, allowing you to rest your forearms on his shoulders while he rests his hands by your sides. He then lowers his tone, whispering. “Let’s worry about everything another time, okay? We have so many years ahead of us.”

He continues his rant while his fingers play with the fabric of your shirt. “We don’t have to get married this year or the next. Hell, we don’t have to get married the year after that. As long as you’re always by my side, we’ll be together forever.” He leans in to press a fluttering kiss against your jaw.

“Okay okay,” you murmur, reassured by his words. You bring your hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks, and he immediately falls into the warmth of your palms, an unbearable amount of butterflies forming in his stomach especially when you whisper ‘my fiancé’ before kissing his nose.

The comfortable silence returns, and all you two do is hold each other while the storm crashes down onto your windows. But no single clash of thunder makes either of you two flinch, too lost in each other’s touch to even notice.

“Y/N?” Changmin croaks, voice lower than usual.

“Yes?”

He hesitates, his words coming out breathy.

“Y/N?” he repeats.

“What’s wrong, my love?”

The name causes a smile to bloom onto his face, laughing as he shakes his head. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“So you just like saying my name for fun now?” you tease, squishing his cheeks with your fingers.

The playfulness dials down eventually, and you rest your head against his shoulder with your eyes fallen shut. The tranquility wrapped around the two of you brings Changmin confidence once again, repeating your name for the third time.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“...I lov-”

He’s cut off by your ringtone blaring throughout the bedroom, causing both of your heads to turn to the direction of the noise. You apologize through a murmur after rubbing your eyes, leaving Changmin’s lap to check your phone. You’re immediately kicked out of your tiresome state when you see the caller id, accepting the call.

Changmin watches you curiously, and he doesn’t get a chance to hear a single word from the other line since you brought your phone up to your ear. He shrugs it off as a personal matter but notices how you don’t speak a single word into the call, making him confused when it ends.

Your face is now far from the cheerfulness you were feeling earlier, standing up from the edge of your bed.

“Who was that?” he questions, crawling over to the edge of the bed. “Why were they calling at this hour?”

You toss your phone into his lap and make your way over to the closet in hurried steps, taking out your raincoat.

Changmin grows worried at your silence, and it isn’t until he notices the bright light illuminating from your phone, taking a glance at the caller id.

Hyunjae’s mother.

//

“There he is,” you whisper, freeing yourself from the buckle in Changmin’s passenger seat before exiting the car.

Throughout the entire drive to the daycare, Changmin’s face remained completely void of emotions, his jaw clenched as he sped through the storm.

He slams the car door shut when leaving, and the two of you run across the street without sparing a glance to oncoming cars, racing to the entrance of the daycare.

Usually, Changmin would be complaining about the storm being ever so heavy in the middle of autumn, but with how focused he is on the situation at hand, he doesn’t give one single damn about the rain crashing down onto the two of you.

The boom of thunder doesn’t startle either of you in the slightest; if anything, it was the sight of Hyunjae sitting under the roof of the entrance that makes your heart drop, the boy trying to gain warmth by hugging his legs.

He’s facing the ground until he hears the sound of running footsteps his way, his heart pounding hard against his chest. Maybe it’s a sense of a relief that washes over him when he sees you two, but the tears that were pooling up in his eyes finally rush down his cheeks in streams, breaking the dam that he’s been holding up for so long.

He sobs when you crouch down to his level, quick to pull him into your embrace.

“We’re here, Hyunjae, we’re here,” you murmur.

The warmth of being in someone else’s embrace only makes him cry hard, little fingers clutching onto your wet coat.

After pulling out his keys and unlocking the doors, Changmin nearly breaks the glass doors down when shoving them open, ushering the two of you inside.

He’s the first one to enter the playroom after flicking on the lights, and you pull Hyunjae to the side, making him look at you.

The boy is breaking down in front of you, having his tears fall into the palm of your hands when you cup his cheeks. He’s holding onto your wrists, fingernails digging into your skin as he continues to sob. He’s growing weaker each second, unsure if he’ll be able to stand for any longer.

The sight of seeing your favorite boy like this rips you apart, choking up on your own tears as you do your best to reassure him, reminding him that both you and Changmin are here and that he’s okay.

Through his tears, Hyunjae is looking at you like you’re completely unreal, and his tearful, broken gaze pierces your heart.

Changmin returns with a roll of paper towels and sets them aside before taking Hyunjae from you, one knee on the ground as he makes the crying boy look at him.

“What happened?” he interrogates, showing no sense of pain as he stares at him. Fury continues to boil up within his chest when Hyunjae doesn’t respond, amplifying his voice throughout the daycare.

“What happened, Hyunjae?” he repeats. The question is more of a hostile demand, his fingers wrapped tightly around the boy’s wrist. His tone only makes Hyunjae cry even more, unable to keep himself up for any longer.

You rush over to Hyunjae and take him back into your arms, letting him curl up against your torso while you stare at Changmin.

Changmin doesn’t ease up in the slightest, only growing even more furious as he allows his hands to ball up into fists. His eyes are constantly flickering between Hyunjae and the storm outside, mind running with possibilities of what could’ve happened if you two didn’t get to him sooner.

“M-my m-mommy-” Hyunjae croaks, trying to get words out of his throat before falling right back into his sobs, burying his face in your chest with his fingers bunching up your shirt into a fist.

“That’s it,” Changmin spits, not regretting a single punch of hatred he’s had for Hyunjae’s mother.

“Changmin,” you say sternly in hopes of calming him down, knowing how out of control he could become when unsupervised.

Changmin rises from the ground and makes his way behind the front desk, yanking the drawer open. He flips through the files and comes across the one he wished he never thought he’d have to take out, slapping it onto the desk so hard that it makes your nerves jump.

“Changmin,” you repeat, raising your voice this time.

“No, don’t say another word,” he orders. Just like the storm outside, his voice is thunderous, stinging you with how cold his demeanor had become.

“Enough is enough. How can a mother be so heartless? How could someone leave their son outside an empty building in the middle of a storm?” He flips the file open, scowling. “On his fucking birthday too,” he mutters, pulling out his phone.

He scans the list of phone numbers on the paper before finally catching sight of the one he’s been seeking. Changmin begins dialing in the number, mumbling ‘I should’ve done this two years ago’ under his breath.

You know exactly what he’s doing, and you let go of Hyunjae to stop him from calling Child Protection Services by grabbing his wrist, taking the phone away from him.

“Please,” you beg, desperation present in your tone.

You’re looking at him with eyes he’s never seen before, trying to convince him through your gaze.

But it doesn’t work, and Changmin yanks your arm away just to take the phone back from you. He fails as you continue to hide it from him, eyes frantically searching for a way to have him do otherwise.

Then you give in, remembering all the scoldings he’s given you in the past.

“I’ll talk to her!” you blurted, freezing his actions. “I’ll say something to her, okay? I promise.” You set the phone face down onto the surface of the table, allowing yourself to breathe before continuing. “I’ll work this out with her when she returns. I’ll tell her how this isn’t right, and that we will call if she ever does something like this again. Just for now, let’s just focus on Hyunjae.”

You slip in another ‘please’ after your rant, and it makes him look back at the crying boy in the corner. He looks back at you, and you’re brought to tears yourself, letting one slip down your cheek as you look at him.

So Changmin gives in, finally understanding that Hyunjae deserves to be their first priority at the moment.

The sounds of Hyunjae continuously sobbing is something Changmin has never wished to hear. He allows his shield to lower before rushing back over to him, bringing the trembling boy into his hold. Hyunjae rests his head against his shoulder, having his tears fall onto Changmin’s flannel.

“It’s okay, Hyunjae. We’re here,” he whispers, rubbing his back.

You’ve disappeared into the playroom and come back with a blanket, wrapping it around the two boys after joining them. The warmth and attention brings Hyunjae to ease, his tears lessening as he calms himself down.

Changmin is looking at him with a weak, gentle smile, staying silent when you start whispering little nothings to the boy.

Hyunjae becomes mentally capable of explaining what’s happened after an hour of you two holding onto him.

“M-mommy, she-...she-” he stops when his voice cracks, and Changmin reassures him with a kiss on his forehead, telling him to take it slow.

Hyunjae has a bit of trouble breathing while explaining, but he manages to sort his thoughts. “I-I had a nightmare, and the storm s-scared me…” He flinches at the rumble of the thunder, working up the courage to continue.

“She—she yelled at me,” he whispers, sniffing loudly.

Changmin stiffens with every word that Hyunjae stutters, but he remains quiet, letting him go on.

“She yelled at m-me when I told her I was s-scared, a-and she-” The boy starts choking on his tears again at the memory, and Changmin helps him through it.

Everything clicks for the two of you after that. Hyunjae doesn’t need to say another word for you two to understand what happened, so you convince Hyunjae to take deep breaths.

Another hour passes, but this time you’re with Hyunjae in the bean bags, reading him his favorite book as he dozes off to sleep beside you.

Changmin’s left to clean up the water outside the playroom, tossing all the paper towels into a nearby trash can. He eyes the paper on his desk, staring at it. You’d be too busy to even notice if he calls, but he fights against his own beliefs.

He trusts you. He trusts you and your word, so he shoves the paper away back into its file, putting it back into the drawer.

You’ll finally talk it out with his mother, and things will be better.

//

The playroom is filled with silence once the storm has subsided. The dark clouds still remained in the sky and the winds were still causing the trees to trash around, but the rain had stopped and you could no longer hear any bursts of thunder.

You look over at the two sleeping boys in the bean bags, smiling warmly at them. Although the playroom is dimly lit, you could see Hyunjae snuggling up against Changmin’s chest, holding onto his arms. They looked comfortable, but you haven’t gotten an ounce of sleep.

For the past few hours, your mind has been constantly thinking of things to say to Hyunjae’s mother when she arrives. You’re thinking of the anger she’s given Changmin and the pain she inflicted on Hyunjae, but you’re still left with no words to say.

You hate to admit it, but you came to terms with the fact you’re scared. You’re scared for what’s to come, knowing that she could lash you out at any minute. She’s done it before, and she’ll certainly do it again.

It doesn’t help that she reminds you of your own parents, feeling the balance in power when she stands in front of you. Although she manages to muster up sweet words to you with that warm smile of hers, you knew she was anything but. She is manipulative and easily has you wrapped around her finger.

Hell, she knows she does. It came as no surprise when she called you, stating that she’ll be dropping Hyunjae off at the daycare. She doesn’t ask you because she knows you’ll drop everything for her son.

She knows how much you love him, and she holds that over your head like you’re a little kitty, enjoying the way you try to take away what’s hers.

Your face is buried into the palm of your hands as you try thinking of ways to confront her, but you’re given no more time when you hear her car pull up into the parking lot. Your eyes shoot up to the only clock in the room, acknowledging how it was 3 in the morning. With sluggish steps (and a defeated sigh), you remove yourself from the chair and make your way over to the two boys.

“Wake up,” you whisper, gently shaking the two boys awake.

Hyunjae is the first one to react, rubbing his eyes open with a confused expression worn on his face. “Huh?”

“Your mother is here,” you explain, bringing the small boy to his feet.

Changmin stretches his limbs before standing up. He shoots a look towards you when hearing the jingle from the entrance.

It hurts to see Changmin ever so expressionless, especially when you know what’s about to come; it’s why you prevent him from leaving the doorway of the playroom.

“Don’t- don’t say anything, okay? Just stand here. I’ll work this out on my own.”

He tries going against your words but you shoot your gaze to the ground, avoiding all eye contact with him. “T-trust me for once. Fighting with her will only makes things worse.”

His eyes soften at the sight of you, and he gives in with a nod. He does as he was told, standing by the doorway when you go to approach Mrs. Lee with Hyunjae.

She looks exhausted, but it doesn’t cover up how her eyes are darting into her son’s skull when he walks over to her, showing no remorse for what she had done.

The lady clears her throat and faces you, plastering the same kind smile she’s shown you ever since day one.

“Thank you, Y/N, for watching over him.” She glances over at Changmin, clearly noticing the other teacher in the room, but says nothing.

“Yeah, o-of course,” you whisper, peeking over at Changmin. You’re unsure how to continue, and he could easily tell, but he doesn’t make a single attempt to step in, repeating your words in his head.

“Mrs. Lee!!” you call out, stopping Hyunjae’s mother from leaving. Not only don’t you want to disappoint Changmin, but you know Hyunjae’s well-being is also on the line.

She turns around on her heels, furrowing her brows ever so innocently at you. “What’s the matter, Y/N?”

The question serenades you, making your mind run blank.

Changmin stares at you, breath caught up in his throat as he waits.

“I-....I never got to hug your son goodbye.” Your voice turns into a squeak, and you could feel Changmin’s eyes burning into the back of your head.

She looks down at her son, visibly holding back a scowl. “Well then….you heard them, Jaehyun. Go give Teacher Y/N a goodbye hug.”

Hyunjae stumbles over his feet as he makes his way over to you, hugging you tight. “Goodbye,” he whispers.

“Goodbye, Hyu-...J-Jaehyun.” You pull away from the hug to look at him, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

He nods, repeating you through a murmur. “Tomorrow.”

Mrs. Lee’s phone begins to ring, and she picks it up, glaring at her son. “Let’s go, Jaehyun. It’s late.” She’s the first one to exit the doors, leaving while Hyunjae struggles to follow after.

When the door shuts, Changmin moves to reveal himself to you, and saying that he was fuming would be an understatement.

“What was that?”

You turn to him with your teeth latching onto your lower lip, not daring to meet his gaze.

“Look, Changmin-”

“No, don’t ‘look, Changmin’ me. You said you’ll tell her. You promised you’ll do something about it this time.” His voice breaks at the end of his sentence, disbelief washed over his features. “I-I trusted you, Y/N. I fucking trusted you to fix this for us, and you just let her go.”

He shakes off your apologies, pushing you away from him as he goes to pull the glass doors open.

“An ‘I’m sorry’ means nothing, Y/N. I thought you’d learn that by now,” he scoffs, gritting his teeth. He mutters a ‘pathetic’ before leaving you alone in the entrance, exiting the daycare.

The word takes a stab to your heart, and you feel your entire world crashing down on you. You follow him out, ready to beg for him to come back, but he’s already chasing after Hyunjae’s mother, taking matters into his own hands.

But you two stop in your steps when you see what was happening.

Mrs. Lee is talking on the phone, completely oblivious to how Hyunjae was falling behind her.

The boy is yelling out for her and telling his mother to slow down, but she doesn’t listen.

Changmin spots the car racing towards Hyunjae on the road, and he runs. You tail his steps, sprinting over onto the street to save Hyunjae from the car.

Changmin is faster when it comes to running, reaching Hyunjae in a quicker amount of time. He picks the boy up and tries to run, but it’s already too late.

The sound of the horn blaring fills up his ears, and the headlights blind Changmin’s vision.

He shuts his eyes and holds onto Hyunjae with his life, but nothing happens.

The car had swerved, and it struck you instead.

The vehicle comes to a halt, and the sound of your head colliding with the pavement fills the air.

Everything has gone silent, including Mrs. Lee’s voice when she sees what happened. Hyunjae is left in too much shock to process anything that he just witnessed, causing him to be handed over to his mother shortly after. Changmin no longer cares about what Mrs. Lee does with her son, rushing to the scene with pleas falling past his lips.

The driver has left their car, countless apologies pouring out of them as they stumble to call for emergency.

All Changmin could see was blood covering your figure. The liquid continuously pours out of you and into the puddles left by the storm, coloring the water a dark shade of red.

“No no no, Y/N.” He frantically pulls you into his hold, hugging you close against him with his hand patting your cheek. “Y/N, please talk to me.”

But you’re not moving. He feels for a pulse and finds it wavering, unsure if you were still with him. He begs for you to wake up, and the driver only watches with a hand over their mouth, in complete disbelief at what they had just done while informing the dispatcher.

Changmin is screaming your name, shaking you repeatedly as he sobs into your chest. He’s hugging onto the hand he kissed only hours ago, trying to not only reassure you but himself as well.

“We’ll—we’ll get through this together, o-okay? C-come on, Y/N, stay….s-stay with me. I know you’re there—I know-....I know you’re holding on. I-I believe in you.” His voice croaks as he utters the last sentence, his tears filling up his vision.

He doesn’t curse when blood seeps into his pajamas, praying as he tightly squeezes your hand. “S-stay with me, Y/N.”

//

One of the nurses gives him a fresh set of clothes when he enters the hospital, telling him they’ll do all they can to save you.

He nods and takes the clothes, going over to the bathroom. He locks himself inside and turns on the lights. He refuses to look at himself in the mirror, and he couldn’t tell if it’s because he would see his tear-stained cheeks or your blood drying up in the fabric of his pajamas.

The clothes he was given were nothing too special. It’s just a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, and surprisingly they somewhat fitted him. He takes one last glance at the pajamas before tossing them into the trash can provided within the bathroom.

Changmin tries to calm his anxiety by setting the toilet lid down, sitting on it. Unfortunately for him, his mind refuses to stop racing with possible outcomes of the situation, leaving him irritated.

He stops thinking when realizing he left something in his pajamas, taking them out of the trash. He searches his pocket to find the thing that appeared in his mind, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of the paper. He takes it out and drops the pajamas back into the can, sitting back down on top of the lid.

With shaky fingers, he unfolds the blood-stained painting. He doesn’t shed a tear at the sight, only praying that you’ll be okay with the luck the painting has always given him.

It always brought him the most luck out of any scenario, and he knows he needs it now more than ever.

After minutes of staring at it, he tucks it back into his pocket. He looks into the mirror and tells himself that everything will be okay. He forces himself to ignore any other signs telling him otherwise, clearing his mind before leaving the bathroom.

His footsteps echo throughout the hallway as he walks past the doors, hating how quiet the hospital seemed to be in the middle of the night.

Earlier, he was told not to enter your door, so when he came across the door numbered two, he sat down in the chair opposite from it.

He rests his elbows on his legs, closing his eyes as he tries to block out any sounds of the incident that wouldn’t stop ringing in his ears.

The sounds go silent at the click of the door in front of him, making him rise to his feet.

The nurse quickly shuts the door behind her, standing in front of it as she’s met with Changmin’s presence. A saddened, solemn expression takes over her features, but Changmin dismisses it when approaching her.

“How’s Y/N?” he asks, desperate to know about his lover’s condition. His eyes have a glint of hope in them, one that the nurse knows will vanish.

She hesitates to speak, fumbling with her fingers as she avoids all contact with Changmin. “You’re-...you’re the one who’s engaged to Y/N, correct?”

He nods, confirming his identity, and her eyes start to fill with sorrow. She parts her lips as if to say something but closes them shortly after to process her thoughts.

“Sir,” she begins. “Y/N-...in the incident, Y/N….Y/N lost a lot of blood.”

Changmin doesn’t hesitate to cut her off from continuing any further. “I can donate mine,” he offers. “We share the same blood type! AB, right?” He thinks back to when you found out about sharing the same blood type, jokingly declaring the two of you destined with fate after squealing about it.

The nurse pauses, and then shakes her head. “I’m afraid that’s not the case, sir-”

“Does Y/N need surgery?” Changmin asks, frantically pushing out his words. “I have the funds for everything, and I’ll pay anything just to make sure Y/N is alr-”

“Sir,” she says sternly, forcing him to cut off. After minutes of avoiding Changmin, she brings herself to have her gaze meet his, and only does Changmin now notice the tears prickling at her eyes. He shuts up, allowing the nurse to speak.

She looks down while digging for something through the pocket of her coat, slowly pulling the item out. “I-I came to return this to you,” she whispers.

“...What?”

The nurse hands the item to the male, and Changmin is finally able to tell what it is.

“...No. No, no there’s no way. Why-...would you give me the ring...Y/N-”

“We lost a pulse, sir,” she whispers, hanging her head as she drops the information.

Changmin’s entire body freezes and the ring in his hands falls, filling the empty hallway with the sound it makes when it hits the ground.

In complete denial, Changmin pushes past the nurse and pulls the door open, bursting into the room. His eyes search the room, and that’s when his gaze settles on the flat line presented on the monitor.

He stumbles back a few steps, and the only doctor in the room turns to look at him. She’s just as speechless as Changmin is, and she steps away from your bed to walk over to him.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she murmurs, leaving him alone with your lifeless body in the room

Although you’re covered head to toe with a white sheet, Changmin manages to get a glimpse of the blood dripping from your fingers, your now empty fingers, noticing the puddle that has been created on the ground.

The scene makes Changmin dizzy, and he feels like passing out as he uses the door frame as support. Too much is going on in his mind to have him fully comprehend what he is seeing; that it’s your body he’s looking at.

The nurse remains with him in the hallway, picking up the ring he dropped seconds earlier to hand it to him.

Just like the doctor, she apologizes as well, but Changmin doesn’t get to hear the end of it when he leaves with the ring. He storms past the staff walking through the hallways and leaves the hospital, not willing to have strangers witnessing his tears.

All Changmin does is get in his car and drive.

He drives to the daycare, refusing to let the reality dawn on him because when he reaches the daycare, he’ll be able to see you.

He’ll see you working at your desk, planning the activity for a day with a smile on your lips as you think about Hyunjae. He’ll see you twirling around in your swivel chair, telling him to join you.

But none of that happens when he enters the daycare, turning on the lights to the playroom. All he is met with is the vacancy of the room and your raincoat tossed onto one of the round tables.

And for the first time that night, Changmin realizes he’ll never see you again.

//

Growing up, people have always told Changmin to think about what he has rather than what he doesn’t have.

But how could he think about what he has when he no longer has you?

He doesn’t have you sitting in the passenger seat of his car, rating each song in his playlist or your smile that would wish him good morning whenever he enters the daycare. He doesn’t have your hand to hold and caress or your forehead to kiss.

He doesn’t have a reason to smile, so what was there to think about?

He didn’t even get a chance to say I love you.

It was such a foolish mistake to not say it to you everyday. If he had the chance, he would say it whenever you drift off to sleep and wake up beside him. He would say it after you slap him on the back for saying something stupid and kiss him on the cheek to make up for it.

But he never did. He never once uttered those cursed three words to you.

He was too lost in love to even acknowledge the lack of the three words being shared in the first place, and it doesn’t help that the world has taken you from him shortly after.

Changmin walks around the playroom in order to calm down the inferno burning up his insides, but that all fails when he drives his fist in the wall, wishing that the pain will replace the emptiness in his chest. He tosses all of the children’s paintings into the trash, along with the purple flowers you arranged for him a week ago.

With the only light in the playroom being the moonlight, he pulls out Hyunjae’s painting without thinking and tears it into pieces, ripping it until it could no longer be torn. The pieces fall onto one of the round tables like confetti, and his hands meet the table, letting out the sobs he’s been holding in ever since he’s heard the news from the nurse.

This place became his home in only two years, and he blames the stupid smile that would always reside on your face when you greeted him into the daycare. You and the kids were always the reason why he looked forward to waking up everyday, creating memories that would bring comfort to everyone in the room.

He sits down in one of the chairs, wiping away his tears as he pulls the ring out from his pockets, watching the way it glistens under the light illuminating from the moon. Carelessly, he tosses it onto the paper he’s ripped apart, pushing the table away from him.

You didn’t even get to wear it for a day.

Through his tears, he sees a paper on the ground, one that hadn’t been there when Changmin had entered the room. He quickly realizes that it fell out of the vase when he trashed the flowers away, picking it up between his fingers.

He hesitates to read what it says. He’s already dealing with too much pain that his heart is unable to handle anymore, but his fingers can’t help but move on their own, opening the paper to reveal the purple ink written all over.

Dear my (second) favorite person on earth,

I know you’ll throw these flowers away when they die. After all, that’s the classic Changmin I’ve grown to love so when you do, when you find this letter, I hope you read every single word I’m about to write.

I love yow.

I didn’t think my letter would get that fucked easily. Hyungseo tried peeking over my shoulder to see what I was writing, and I accidentally wrote a ‘w’ instead of a ‘u’ because of him. Honestly speaking, I hate it here. (No I don’t).

That reminds me. Did I ever tell you how much I love writing? We should write each other notes while we have the kids do an activity. You know, like highschoolers in love. I think it’ll be cute seeing you get caught writing mid-sentence by Hyunjae.

I should really stop rambling because Haknyeon’s starting to eat the petals from the flowers and Youngjae and Sunwoo refuse to stop hyping him up. Can you believe these boys? This is what you and Hyunjae are missing out on. I can’t believe you’ve been gone for hours now with him,, why’d you have to steal him from me >:( kidding, by the way. I hope you two are having fun without me. (Yes, I’m still petty).

I love you, Changmin. Two years with you, and I’ve never gotten to say it. It’s not like it matters because our love language is anything but, but it wouldn’t hurt to say it every now and then because I truly do mean it when I say I love you. I would say it to your face if I wasn’t such a wuss about it so here I am, expressing my feelings through a stupid letter. You better enjoy reading after this, by the way. I’m not going to write essays about how much I love you just for you to not read them.

Anyways, I bought this purple pen yesterday! It’s pretty, isn’t it? It isn’t the exact shade of purple you like, but the same could honestly be said about the assortment of flowers the boys and I made for you.

….Okay listen, I know you’re going to laugh when I show them to you. I swore the flowers looked beautiful when I bought them, but somehow when I gave them to the kids, they all managed to fuck them up and have them all bent in all the wrong places. So as an apology, I’m hoping this note makes up for it. Shit, I went off topic again.

I love you, Jichang. I love you more than words can do any justice, so instead of writing I love you a thousand different times…

Changmin, would you like the honor of being my boyfriend?

Shut up, I know you’ll say yes regardless, but I’ll still be expecting you to pick me up and twirl me around in the air, declaring yourself as my official boyfriend. It’d be nice, wouldn’t it?

Changmin sees how your handwriting trails off, figuring that was when he entered the playroom with Hyunjae and the popcorn. He wishes there was more to read, more to hear from you, but this is the most he’s ever going to get.

His sobs return, and he’s crying like Hyunjae except Changmin is in the arms of no one; no one to hold him, no one to tell him they’re there for him.

His mind is flashing images of you, reminding him of the memories he’s shared with you.

He’s reminded of the roll of your eyes when he would make a snarky remark and of your cuddles whenever all the kids have finally left the daycare. He remembers the way you would smile at him whenever he’s playing with the kids and how you always manage to unintentionally daydream about him when he’s sitting right beside you.

All those moments that made him fall in love with you are now memories that took turns taking a stab at his heart, crushing the organ until there was no more.

He wanted to scream at the world for taking you away from him so soon, but his throat is raw and he’s barely able to whisper. He’s craving your touch, your lips against his, and he’s wishing he could hear the jingle from the glass doors, signifying that you have arrived.

He wishes he had the chance to dance with you at least once in the middle of the empty playroom, maybe even practice the one you’ll share at your wedding.

The idea of the wedding makes Changmin look at the ring on the table, bringing it back between his fingers.

“I feel so lost,” he whispers, his voice breaking as he clutches onto the ring. “Y/N, what-...what do I do without you?”

He has no one to guide him, no one to tell him to believe in himself, and no one to love.

//

Changmin carries the last box into the trunk of his car, stacking it on top of the others. He wipes the sweat off his forehead, looking up at the sun shining bright in the sky despite it nearing winter. He pulls out his phone to check the time, realizing he has another thirty minutes before he has to leave.

In the past two months, Changmin has closed the daycare and called the dance academy. It took a few paperworks to be filled out before he’s officially accepted, and today is finally the day he’ll be leaving.

Changmin hears a car pulling up next to his in the parking lot, looking over to see who it was.

He regrets doing so, especially when Mrs. Lee leaves the driver’s seat.

“Ch-”

“The daycare’s closing, Mrs. Lee,” Changmin states, closing his trunk shut. “I have to leave soon too.”

His tone would’ve been more bitter if it wasn’t for the fact that Changmin is drained. For the past two months, Changmin has been drained of his tears and pain, causing him to be left with only soreness and a throbbing heartache.

“I know, I know, but Changmin, please listen to me.” She follows him across the street, tailing after his steps to the daycare. “My son keeps getting constant nightmares, and all I ask for is for you to give him all your time before you leave.”

“Your son?” he scoffs, stopping when he reaches the glass doors. “I owe you nothing.”

He wraps his fingers around the handle of the door, ready to push it open before hearing Mrs. Lee.

“Jaehy- Hyunjae. Hyunjae wants to see you. He wants to say goodbye.”

Changmin shuts his eyes at the name he’s been avoiding for so long, turning around in his spot to face his mother.

“Please, Changmin, talk to him one last time, I beg of you.” She’s distraught, not knowing how else to get her desperation across.

His mind runs over the idea of talking to Hyunjae for the last time, heart wrenching at the thought.

“Alright. Tell him to enter alone and make it quick. I don’t have all day.” Changmin’s just about to enter the daycare before realizing something, turning back around to look at the lady.

“Oh, and Mrs. Lee? Don’t bother ever stepping foot into this building ever again. I mean it. You’ve already inflicted enough pain.”

He pushes the door open and makes his way into the playroom.

The emptiness of the room engulfs him as he enters, looking at how lifeless the walls looked after taking down the colored posters that had the abcs written all over them. Truly nothing remained in the room except for the counters with sinks. The bookshelves have been donated along with all of the books, and the bean bags have been given to Sunwoo and Youngjae’s families. He looks around the room one last time, unable to pinpoint how he used to call this dinky place ‘home’.

A few minutes after roaming around the place with a hollow heart, Changmin hears the front two doors jingle, tiny footsteps making their way into the daycare.

Hyunjae peeks into the playroom and when he catches sight of Changmin, tears begin to fall down his face. He runs over to the male, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist as he breaks out into full-on sobs.

Changmin hesitantly crouches down so Hyunjae is able to hug him better, remaining emotionless as the young boy wets his shirt with his tears. His little fingers desperately cling onto his sleeves, and no words are exchanged between the two boys for minutes. Though, to Changmin, it feels like hours, holding the boy in his arms as he stares off into the void.

Hyunjae is the first to speak up, voice quivering. “Don’t leave,” he whispers.

Changmin struggles to find the right words to use in the moment but gives up, deciding to just be blatantly honest with the boy. “I have to, Hyunjae. I can’t stay. I’m leaving.”

Hyunjae looks up at him, redness tinting his puffy eyes while tears continuously pour down his face. “You can’t- you just can’t-” he sobs, going back to hiding his face in the teacher’s chest. “What w-would I do without you?”

Changmin pats the back of his head and thinks, smiling back at a memory. “Hyunjae, do you remember that book you always liked? The one Y/N bought for you two years ago?”

The nine-year-old stiffles his cries for only a second, nodding.

“The main character...He dies in the end, right?”

Again, Hyunjae nods.

“But you’ve read that book how many times?”

The boy frowns. “What does this have to do with anything?” he hiccups, wiping his tears away.

Changmin sighs. “Life is kind of like, well, a storybook. Whatever is written is permanent, and there’s nothing you can change. You can keep flipping the pages back and forth, wishing that you’ll be able to change the outcome, but you can’t because the ink has already seeped into the paper.

So it’s hard to, you know, turn the page when you know someone you loved ever so dearly won’t be in the next chapter, but you do it regardless. You come to accept the fact they’re gone because you’ll have to move on with the story, and eventually you’re able to turn that page.”

He cups Hyunjae’s cheeks in his hands, reassuring him. “You’ll move on, Hyunjae. Just like how you’ve gotten over the boy’s death in the book a trillion times. Trust me.”

“But that’s different,” Hyunjae reasons, removing Changmin’s hands from his face. “I-In the book, they still get their happy ending. In the book, the people still live happily ever after, even with the death of the boy.”

“Yes, ‘in the book’, Hyunjae. This is real life.” He looks at the ground. “Not all couples get happy endings.”

“But we could get ours.” Hyunjae makes Changmin look at him, tears being brought back into his eyes. “You’re here with me right now, and you can stay. You can stay with me, and we could write our own story with a happy ending.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that easy, Hyunjae,” the male whispers.

“Teacher Y/N already left,” Hyunjae mumbles. “I can’t-...I don’t want to lose you too.”

With shaky hands, Hyunjae reaches up to cup Changmin’s cheeks, tears cascading down his cheeks as he tries to speak. “P-please, please don’t leave me,” he hiccups through his tears.

Changmin closes his eyes, preventing himself from falling vulnerable into the hands of a nine-year-old. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

“B-but we’re family, and family....family sticks together, right?”

“We’re not family, Hyunjae.”

Changmin’s words pierces into Hyunjae’s heart, and the boy no longer says anything else, the two allowing the young boy’s sobs to fill up the room.

Changmin opens his eyes to look at Hyunjae, and he knows this image of Hyunjae will forever be engraved into his mind.

And out of nowhere, Changmin smiles. He smiles because he knows they’ll be okay.

“Thank you.”

Hyunjae sniffs loudly, still holding onto Changmin’s cheeks. “F-for what?” The boy is biting back his upcoming batch of tears, but it fails when Changmin starts to speak.

“Thank you, Hyunjae, for being the sunshine that always brightens the daycare’s day and being the shooting star that glitters the dark skies at night. Thank you for your little surprise hellos and your comforting goodbyes. Thank you for the happiness you’ve brought to not only me, but Teacher Y/N as well.” Changmin finally allows his tears to fall, not breaking eye contact with Hyunjae. “Thank you for being so fucking strong for the both of us and growing up to be the angel Y/N will always love and cherish.”

Hyunjae’s sobs even harder after hearing Changmin, unable to contain himself. “Please-...don’t go.”

But the male continues. He removes his face from Hyunjae’s palms and moves to rest his forehead against the boy’s, working his words through his own tears.

“Thank you for being your bestest self in front of everyone. Thank you for bringing a smile to everyone’s faces every single day, and thank you for always giving me a reason to wake up. Thank you for being the first person to give me hugs and loving me when no one else would. Thank you for making me feel like a kid again these past two years. Thank you, Hyunjae, for being the gift in my life.”

Changmin pulls away from the young boy and presses a sweet, gentle kiss to his nose, hugging him tightly afterwards. “I love you,” he whispers.

The teacher then stands up and doesn’t take another glance at the boy he had only broken further, leaving the playroom. He walks out the glass doors of the daycare and heads for his car, looking ahead towards the path he was always meant to take.

The kid inside him once played hide and seek for twenty three years, and during those twenty three years, Changmin refused to play along.

Now, the only person that remains inside the vacant daycare is the kid Changmin grew to love and eventually left behind; the boy that led him to his inner kidult.

Maybe, just like in Hyunjae’s painting, Changmin was the devil after all.

As always, you’re reading a book despite how late it is at night. Your legs are sprawled out on top of the blankets, waiting for Changmin to exit the bathroom as usual.

He’s dressed in his usual flannel pajamas, a bright smile on his face. You close your book and set it aside before spotting a piece of paper peeking out from the pockets in his pants.

“You bring that thing everywhere, don’t you?”

“Huh? This?” Changmin pulls it out of his pocket and waves it in the air, making you confirm his words with a nod.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he snorts, raising his brows. “If you had this gem, you’d bring it everywhere too.”

You roll your eyes and grab a pillow, tossing it at his face. “Yeah sure, but I wouldn’t shower with it, dummy.”

He stumbles back due to the hit and picks it up from the ground, tossing the pillow right back at you. “I don’t shower with it!” he exclaims.

Changmin joins you on your bed after setting Hyunjae’s painting down onto the nightstand, yawning loudly.

“Whatever you say, Jichang.”

You put the pillow back into its spot and bring the blankets over both of your bodies after turning off the lamp, leaving the two of you in complete darkness. Though, the lack of light doesn’t stop Changmin from bringing you close against him, snuggling up to you.

It’s silent, and you would think he’s asleep until he shifts in his spot.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Isn’t it crazy how like...Hyunjae painted that thing when we only knew each other for, what? Two days?” He scrunches his nose at the memory before turning to look at you to see what you thought.

“It is,” you respond. “Kids do the darndest things.”

Changmin laughs at your word choice but agrees nonetheless. “Don’t you think it somehow links with fate? The two of us ending up together?”

“Mmm, perhaps. Depends on how you put it.” You shift in your spot, turning to face him. “Hyunjae’s special like that.”

You reach to hold one of his hands, playing with his fingers. “Together forever,” you sigh, pressing a kiss against his knuckles.

“That includes Hyunjae, right?” Changmin asks, lazy eyes watching your every movement as a cheeky smile makes its way to his lips.

You laugh, nodding. “Yes, that includes Hyunjae. All three of us...together forever....Oh my god, Changmin, remember that pinky promise you had the three of us do before you left?”

He grins at the memory, remembering how grim that day turned out to be until he asked you out. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

He pulls his hand away from you to tuck his nose into the crook of your neck, growing drowsier with each hum that escapes you.

“The three of us and our happy little ending,” Changmin murmurs, that being the last thing he says before drifting off to sleep.

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im just a girl https://twitter.com/hourlyjaeminn/status/1774027999941403119

i definitely understand why chenle admires jaemin and jeno’s builds so much…. second pic is crazy like id PAY for him to put me in a headlock… respectfully 😊😁

Silver and Black (badboy au! NCT Jaemin)

Description: badboy! Jaemin and French transfer student! reader || He thought your accent was hot, but the leather jacket on his back and the motorcycle he rode warned you away from him. (for anon)

Genre: comedy | angst | fluff

WC: 4.2k

Warnings: profanity, so many tropes, underage drinking

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