Discuss.

discuss.

the way life goes — two

pairing: jaemin x reader genre: smut, angst, fluff wc: 14.7k

chapter warnings: slow burn-ish, so much plot and way too much dialogue lol, fwb type stuff, friends to lovers i guess???, the majority of kpop 00’ liners are in this, other nct members also make brief appearances, a lot of crack humour, a lot of sex talk and jokes, black haired jaemin, jaemin is just super mysterious and sexy, explicit language, explicit content, BIG SMUT, jaemin fingers reader while the boys are downstairs, jaemin wears rings while fingering reader it's hot, grinding, dry humping, protected sex (stay safe besties), very soft!dom jaemin, sub!reader i suppose, praising, slight hair pulling, big dick jaemin, jaemin jokes about multiple orgasms, yangyang is still trying to get down n dirty with reader lmao,

⌜part one⌟

summary: you and jaemin discuss your friends with benefits situation before things between you both start to escalate. also, your friends are crazy and they know about it.

“Have you guys started that creative writing assessment Professor Moon asked us to do?” Miwoo questions at the table during lunch, dipping her baby carrots into a hummus pot as she takes a quick glance at Haru’s notebook, watching the blonde scribble something down. “Wait, are you writing notes?”

“No” Haru shakes her head before pointing at the spare notebook that you’re currently holding, your eyes scanning over the page. “Those are my notes”

“Give me those!!!” Miwoo hisses as she reaches over to snatch the notes out of your hands and slam them down in the middle of the table for her to see. You glare her way, flicking her the middle finger which she ignores. “I haven’t started anything”

“It’s not supposed to be handed in until next week” You inform. “Why are you in a rush to get it done already?”

“So I don’t have to worry about it all weekend?” Miwoo says as if it was the most obvious answer in the world, grabbing a notebook and pen out of her bag. “The only thing I want to worry about is if I run out of money or get pregnant, not some stupid assessment”

Haru keeps her eyes down but her lips curl upwards. “I thought you wanted to get punished by Professor Moon?”

“I wish” Miwoo snorts before munching on another baby carrot. Her eyes flitter over to you, cocking her head to the side. “So, what’s up with you and Jaemin?”

You give her a blank look, but your heart races. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on… we’ve all noticed how close you and Jaemin have gotten since the whole incident on the weekend. Now spill the details about yours and Jaemin’s little one on one last night!!” Miwoo grins excitingly and even Haru peers up from her notebook, eyeing you in curiosity. Your face feels hot under their stares, becoming uncomfortable due to the sudden attention but you clear your throat, leaning back into your seat as you try to act as calm and collected as you possibly can.

“Nothing happened” You shake your head. Liar. “He came over, we ate and we talked”

“Talk about what?” Miwoo presses before she wiggles her brows. “Anything interesting?”

“Just how loud your moans are” You send her a sarcastic smile and she retaliates by rolling her eyes. “Seriously, it’s some porn star quality material... have you thought about going into that profession?”

“Ha. Ha. Hilarious” Miwoo grumbles, pulling a face when Haru laughs. “Laugh all you want!! You’re just jealous that I’m getting railed into oblivion by Jeno’s fat co—”

"You're so disgusting, shut up!" You groan out but the smile on your face gives away how much you actually find the comment funny. "You have no shame"

"And that's what you all love about me" Miwoo smiles prettily as she bats her eyelashes. You jokingly roll your eyes with a hum just as the boys finally make an appearance, walking through the double doors of the college's cafeteria and heading straight for your table.

Renjun pulls his laptop out of his bag once he sits down next to Haru, laying a kiss on her temple and she leans into his side while she continues to write in her notebook. You zone out as you watch them, how the arm around her shoulder rests so comfortably and how mindlessly he traces patterns on her skin even though his attention is focussed on the screen in front. Haru’s hand is placed gently on his thigh, unmoving, but you know that the little gesture is something that’s so calming for the both of them, so natural and so secure.

Your eyes flitter over to Jeno and Miwoo, the former smothering the latter’s face in loud smooches and nibbling the shell of her ear when he runs up behind her. fingers digging into her sides in hopes of a loud reaction that she doesn’t give apart from the giggles and the warning slaps before he sits down, capturing her mouth in a sloppy kiss.

"Gross" Donghyuck gags as he settles down beside you with Yangyang following suit and sitting on your other side. "Save the face sucking for another time, just looking at it makes me want to puke"

"You just wish it was you and Aisha" Renjun fires back just before Jeno could react, not even bothering to take his attention away from his laptop.

"And what about it?!?!" Donghyuck hisses back angrily, seemingly defensive. "Also, don't think for one second that you guys are so slick... we all notice the lingering touches and that not-so-subtle lovey dovey bullshit!"

"What's crawled up your ass today?" Haru questions, glancing up from her notes. "Why are you in such a sour mood?"

"Aisha rejected him big time" Yangyang reveals with a snicker, quickly grabbing your shoulders as using you as a human shield as Donghyuck tries to reach around you to attack him. You huff as you get squished between the two, trying to calm down Donghyuck while prying Yangyang's grip off. "He finally grew some balls and asked Aisha out on a date but she rejected him straight off the bat and told him that she wasn't interested"

"Apparently she's seeing that guy who brought his guitar at our party last weekend" Donghyuck sulks with a pout, getting ready to slam his head down on the desk but you're quick to react, holding out your hand so his forehead smacks your palm. He whines. "That Canadian motherfucker..."

"At least she was honest!" Miwoo tries to cheer him up. "I mean, would you rather have her tell you the truth and go through a little bit of heartbreak or have her lie and lead you on?"

"Duh, lie and lead me on"

"You're such a fucking brat!" Miwoo throws one of her baby carrots forcefully at Donghyuck's head in frustration and he looks up to give her an evil glare before reaching for the not-so-damaging weapon and shoving it into his mouth, angrily munching the vegetable.

"Where's Jaemin and Shotaro?" You ask, noticing the missing presence of the two and secretly hoping to change the subject from Miwoo and Donghyuck, too tired to hear them bicker any while longer.

"Jaemin is helping Shotaro with his new dance video that he's gotta present in front of his class soon. Jaemin's getting the right shots, the right lighting and all that kind of stuff for him..." Jeno explains as he turns to you, a teasing smirk spreading on his lips and he raises a brow. "Why? Are you missing Jaemin?"

You roll your eyes. "Shut up"

"You guys have been getting close, you know" Yangang points out, resting his chin on his hand to look at you. "I even heard he came over to your apartment last night... all alone... just the two of you"

"That's because Miwoo and Haru were getting their backs blown out by Jeno and Renjun and were being too loud" You tell him and Yangyang gasps loudly, covering his mouth as his head snaps towards the four in question whilst Donghyuck has a gagging fit beside you. "He came over to get away from the noise"

"For your information, it was Miwoo that was loud" Renjun corrects, ignoring the glares he was getting from the girl.

"Wait, so Haru doesn't make a sound when you guys have sex?" Yangyang gives Haru a sympathetic smile, reaching across the table to pat her hand in fake comfort. "Sorry to hear that he doesn't please you enough, must be annoying"

"Nope, I'm good" Haru shakes her head. "I love the way Renjun chokes me to be quiet"

The noise that leaves from everyone sends Haru into a laughing fit while Renjun reminds quiet, but the cocky smirk he wears clearly shows how proud he is of himself. Jeno gives him at pat on the back and two impressed thumbs up while Miwoo stares at Haru, wiggling her brows suggestively.

"I don't know why you guys are so shocked, honestly" Donghyuck mutters. "It's always the quiet ones who are the freakiest"

You feel movement beside you and your eyes narrow. "You better not be looking at me Yangyang"

"I'm looking straight at you, baby girl" Yangyang grins. You roll your eyes, scrunching your face in disgust at the pet name and swatting his hands away as he tries to touch you, fingers reaching for your arm to try and tug you into his lap.

Donghyuck joins in on the teasing, wrapping his arms around your middle and pulling you back into his chest and you curse him out, pinching the skin on his arms in an attempt to get him off, not even caring about the other students that give your table dirty looks for being so loud.

With your one hand in Donghyuck’s hair and the other gripping Yangyang’s ear, you turn to look at the others in hopes they would help you escape from their teasing but your face drops, a blank expression taking over your features as you make eye contact with Jeno’s iphone camera, realising he’s been recording the entire thing.

“Wipe that stupid grin off of your face, Lee Jeno” You warn, shooting daggers at the camera lense. “If you post that video anywhere on social media, I swear to god I will turn you inside out”

“Oh yeah?” Jeno raises a brow, the grin still remaining on his lips. “Try it, bitch”

Before you could even get the chance to leap over the table and rip Jeno’s face off, Haru and Miwoo both react fast by whacking him across the head, the former gasping in shock and dropping his phone to rub the sore area. Jeno goes to give the girls the same treatment but his hand freezes in the air as Renjun’s head snaps towards him, almost daring him to lay a finger on Haru and Jeno pouts, opting to grab the pressure point in Miwoo’s knee instead and squeeze, earning a loud yelp.

“You’re all so dramatic” Donghyuck tuts, his arms finally slipping from your body to grab Jeno’s phone. “Couldn’t be me”

“You’re literally the most dramatic person here” Yangyang looks at Donghyuck as if he sprouted two extra heads on his shoulders and Donghyuck simply flips him off, watching the video of your mini squabble on Jeno’s phone. You lean in close, your chin digging into Donghyuck’s arm as you watch the video along with him, ignoring the way he hisses in pain at the pressure you’re putting on his arm.

You fail to notice Jaemin and Shotaro approaching the table, too engrossed in watching yourself pathetically fight back against Donghyuck and Yangyang’s antics but you grin widely the second you see your hand rip his hair and the pained expressions on his face, making Donghyuck scoff at your reaction.

The others greet the two latecomers, moving around to make some room at the table and Shotaro sits beside Renjun, and Jaemin opts to slide into the seat opposite you. A foot knocks against yours and you tear your eyes away from the phone, ready to snap at Jeno until you see it was Jaemin.

You blink in surprise, lips curling into a shy smile and Jaemin mirrors your expression but radiates a lot more confidence, leaning back into his chair and locks your foot with his own, keeping you trapped.

The contact makes your heart race as you quickly glance around at the others, hoping they haven’t noticed anything different or if they somehow realised your heart was about to leap out of your chest. You felt embarrassed at how easily Jaemin could turn you into a flustered and nervous wreck, you prayed you wouldn’t react like this all the time.

“How did the filming go?”

“It was great!” Shotaro beams as he answers Haru’s question, pulling a bottle of water out of his bag and unscrewing the cap. “I’m really grateful that Jaemin helped me out. The shots looked amazing!!”

“Can we see it?” Miwoo grins, leaning on her elbow as she dreamily looks off into the distance. “I find dancing so sexy…”

Donghyuck clicks his tongue. “You’re just easily pleased”

“And what about it?” Miwoo mocks his words from earlier and Donghyuck rolls his eyes, poking out his tongue just as Jeno snatches his phone back from his grasp, checking if the video wasn’t deleted and untouched in his camera roll.

You try to focus your attention on Shotaro who’s asked by Miwoo about his one on one time with Yeji yesterday but you struggle to do so as you feel Jaemin’s foot rub against your calf slowly, his hands subtly reaching beneath the table to grip your ankle.

You press your lips tightly together as you feel the coldness of his rings shock your skin, jerking your leg out of his grip and moving them as far away from Jaemin who grins at your reaction.

Jeno throws a crumpled up paper ball at Jaemin’s face. “What are you grinning about?”

“Nothing” Jaemin shakes his head as he leans back against his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. The corner of his lip lifts upwards. “Seems like you guys had a great night last night”

Donghyuck groans, covering his face with his hands. “Not this again... Can we change the subject? This just makes me realise that my sex life is non-existent!! I may as well be a virgin again”

“Bro, you can literally have sex whenever with whoever” Yangyang says, leaning forward on the table to give Donghyuck a look. “You’re just too obsessed with Aisha to realise that”

“I’m not obsessed”

“Yes you are” The entire group, minus Donghyuck, says in unison and he huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away from the table in an attempt to give you all the silent treatment, even going as far as shoving his fingers in his ears whenever one of you call out his name.

Your attention is pulled away from teasing Donghyuck as you feel your phone vibrate against your leg, pulling your brows together in confusion as you pull the device from your pocket, wondering who could be texting you when all your friends are present.

jaemin: hi

You look up from your phone over at Jaemin who’s smiling at you from across the table and you smile back softly, watching as his thumbs dance across his phone’s keyboard.

jaemin: do u want to come over after classes end

you: over urs?

jaemin: yes

you: oh you: ok you: why???

jaemin: :)

You raise your head from the confusing reply to give Jaemin a weird look, watching as he grins and shoves his phone back into his pocket, turning to look at Shotaro who softly calls his name to ask him something you couldn’t hear while you do the same with your device.

The second you put your phone down, you feel eyes staring into the side of your head and you turn to face Yangyang, the culprit of the staring. He raises his eyebrows and bites down on his bottom lip, winking with his left eye then right multiple times.

You blink. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m trying to seduce you” He answers as if it’s a normal response, resting his chin on his hand as he smiles at you prettily, batting his eyelashes. “Is it working?”

“Stop, Yang” Your lips pull together in a sympathetic smile as you pat his shoulder, shaking your head. “Just stop”

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

You huff as you’re pushed down on a bed, Jaemin’s body crawling on top of yours as his lips attack your jaw, smothering the skin in wet kisses while his one hand rests on the opposite side of your jaw, holding your face gently in his grasp.

A gasp emits from the back of your throat as you feel his teeth nibble down and you’re quick to move his head, pressing your lips against his to avoid any obvious marks on your skin. He sighs softly against your mouth as your hands caress the back of his neck, melting in your embrace.

You couldn’t grasp onto the fact that you were here, in Jaemin’s bed with his body on top of yours, kissing each other like it was your last moment on earth. Kissing him makes your head spin; the messy yet sensual and erratic pace makes you feel hot and you struggle to breath, his clothed erection pressing against your covered center makes you wet with arousal as he sucks on your bottom lip.

“Okay, wait” You mumble breathlessly against his lips, pressing your palms to Jaemin’s chest and pushing him back to give you both some space and air, your chest rising up and down rapidly from the lack of oxygen. “Stop for a sec”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Jaemin questions, licking at his lips as he scans your face for any regrets or hesitations, wondering if he’s come on too strong or has done something wrong. His throat tightens at the thought of accidentally hurting you and he cups your face softly when you take awhile to answer. “Y/N?”

“I’m fine, It’s just… I think we should probably talk about some stuff before going deep into this friends with benefits type of thing… you know?” You explain, gesturing between the both of you and Jaemin nods in agreement, immediately rolling off of your body and shifting comfortably beside you.

He leans up on his elbow to stare down at you. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Rules? Maybe?” You suggest, nervously fiddling with your fingers. “I think we need some rules”

“Okay, rules” Jaemin nods. “What kind of rules are we thinking about?”

“Okay, uh, rule number one” You hold one finger up. “No couple stuff. We can’t talk about the idea of boyfriends and girlfriends, we can’t buy each other gifts and no taking each other out on dates or anything like that”

“Hmm, okay, but what about hanging out?” Jaemin asks and you look at him confused. “Like, what if I want to hangout with you alone or grab a bite to eat, go to a party etcetera etcetera?”

You purse your lips in thought. “Yeah, that’s fine. As long as we don’t label it as a date, it’s fine”

“Cool”

“Rule number two: No telling anyone at college that we’re doing this or make it public… they’ll turn it into a big deal, especially our friends... let's keep it on the downlow from them for a bit until they get suspicious” You tear your eyes away from your fingers to look at Jaemin, watching him nod slowly. “And yes, it means we’re not exclusive fuck buddies, if that’s what you’re thinking… you can fuck whoever you want”

“I don’t want to fuck anyone” Jaemin says almost instantly, eyes meeting yours. “I just want to fuck you”

You blink in surprise, almost gulping at the way he’s looking at you. “C-Cool…”

Jaemin smiles softly at you, looking down at your hand and reaching to grab a third finger, holding it up. “Rule number three: No feelings, no falling in love, no getting jealous”

You scoff. “Duh, obviously. Although, that might be hard…” You pause as you turn to look at Jaemin, a wave of confidence washing over your body as you wink and send an air kiss his way. “I’m quite the catch”

“Shut up” Jaemin grins, nudging your shoulder playfully and you giggle, focussing your attention back on your three fingers. He watches you carefully as you examine your three digits, going over the rules in your head and scrunching your brows together as you try to think of another. He smiles. Cute.

“Does that sound okay to you?”

“What?” Jaemin hums, blinking back to reality.

“Rule number four: We talk to each other. if we have any problems or concerns with anything, we tell each other… full honesty. Okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good to me” Jaemin smiles at you and you can’t help but smile back, craning your neck upwards to kiss his lips softly but you pull away quickly as you hear shouting downstairs, eyes widening as you realise the boys are home. Jaemin chases your lips when you move back and you shake your head rapidly, pushing him away with urgency.

Jaemin raises a brow, his lips still puckered waiting for you to plant one on him until he hears the noise, rolling his eyes as he realises what’s going on. He slides off of the bed, bare feet padding across the wooden floorboards towards his bedroom door. You watch as he peeks his head out, looking back and forth before closing the door and locking it, spinning on his heel and heading back to the bed to lay beside you.

You laugh quietly, shaking your head at his silliness but your laughter slowly comes to a stop as you see him reach for you.

Jaemin’s fingers brush against your lips as he admires your face, his eyes locking with yours, filled with nothing but adoration. You feel hot under his stare, heart rate rising higher and higher as you clench your legs together to get rid of the forming ache in between your thighs.

He quirks a brow, the corner of his lips twitching upwards into a smirk as he briefly glances down before meeting your eyes again. You feel embarrassed to be reacting this way over one simple touch and his stare, he already has you wrapped around him. You were already captivated.

The pad of his middle finger glides over your bottom lip and you fail to control yourself as you instinctively open up, his finger sliding in your mouth, saliva covering his digit.

Jaemin’s eyes widen in shock before he chuckles, biting down on his own lips as he presses his finger down on your tongue and you suck, swirling the pink muscle around his digit as if it was his own cock. He adds his index finger into the mix, gently thrusting them inside of your mouth.

The wet sounds it makes has your head spinning and your pussy desperate to be touched while he looks unbothered, the actions seeming to have no effect on him and even if it did, he refused to show them. It makes you frustrated.

He pulls his wet fingers out of your mouth, watching your face intently as he slowly drags his hand down your body. Your heartbeat is loud in your ears as he stops above your stomach, a little bit of skin on show from your t-shirt rising from your small little moments and a wet finger dances agonizingly slow around your belly button before he dips his hand under the waistband of your shorts without any warning.

A gasp rips from the back of your throat as his fingers make contact with your wet heat, stroking your folds as he leans up on his elbow to look down at you, tilting his head to the side with a teasing smile.

“You’re gonna have to be quiet, you know that the boys are home” Jaemin says with a whisper but you fail to notice that he was waiting for you to say something, your attention focussing on the way his middle finger rubs up and down your slit. “Unless… you want them to hear you?”

“No” You shake your head quickly, meeting his eyes. “I can be quiet”

“Yeah?” He holds your gaze as he sinks two fingers into your pussy and you gasp again, mouth agape as you fling your head back against the pillows. Jaemin smirks. “You sure, baby?”

“You’re annoying” You snap, failing to show your irritance as his thumb rubs against your clit, eyes squeezing shut to try and focus on making no sounds.

“That’s not nice to say to someone who has their fingers inside your panties right now” Jaemin tuts with a smirk, shaking his head as his fingers press against your walls. You let out a satisfied sigh, biting down on your lip as you open your eyes to meet his. “Am I making you feel good?”

You hum a response and Jaemin smiles at that, his fingers moving quicker as they pump into you and you accidentally let a loud and obvious moan rip from your throat.

You cover your mouth in embarrassment and he laughs despite making no moves in stopping what he’s doing to your dripping pussy.

The second his thumb rubs your clit, you find it harder to control the gasps and whines that you make, opting to roll into Jaemin’s side and nuzzle your face into the crevice of his neck, lifting your thigh over his hips which helps him hit a deeper spot inside of your core.

The sounds are now muffled and barely audible, but shivers are sent down Jaemin’s spine as he can hear everything in his ear and your breath panting against his skin. A grin is present on his face, rubbing faster against your walls and the lewd wet noises fills your ears which nears you closer to your orgasm.

“Look at you, baby” Jaemin coos. “You’re a mess”

“Fuck” You cry out quietly, gripping the fabric of his white shirt as your thighs quiver around his hand.

“You gonna cum?” He asks with a whisper and you struggle to find your voice, nodding quickly for his answer before your orgasm hits. Your whole body convulses as you cum around his fingers, letting out a strained cry while you grip on to the material of his hoodie as tight as you possibly can.

Jaemin holds you against him as he helps ride out your high, slowly massaging your walls and basking in the quiet sounds you make in his ear, grinning at the feeling of your lower half moving against his fingers at their own accord.

“You okay?” He whispers softly after a few minutes and you nod, refusing to move your face away from his neck, your cheeks hot with embarrassment. You couldn’t look at him, not with his fingers still buried inside your pussy, not with your cum dripping down his hand and certainly not with your fucked out expression.

Jaemin laughs as you cling to his side, carefully removing his hand from between your thighs and gripping your hips tightly to pull you on top of him. You wince as your sensitive core brushes against the bulge in his shorts and you go to make a comment until his lips press against yours softly.

You sigh into the kiss, hands cupping his cheeks while his own press against your lower back, bringing you closer to his body as his tongue brushes your bottom lip before entering your mouth. You remove your hands from his cheeks, arms slithering around his shoulders and fingers gripping the hair at the nape of his neck, holding back gasps and whines as he helps grind your hips down on his.

“HEY! NA JAEMIN!” Jeno’s voice is heard yelling from the opposite side of the door, heavy footsteps echoing in the hallway. You spring apart from Jaemin’s lips, eyes wide as you watch the doorknob rattle from the force Jeno uses as he tries to open it. You hear him whine. “Why is it loooocked? Open the door, man. I got you something”

You feel panic start to rise and you swing your leg from over Jaemin’s body to remove yourself from his lap but his hands keep you still, gripping your hips to prevent you from moving anywhere.

You look at him incredulously as you mouth. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m busy!” Jaemin calls back to Jeno, completely ignoring you while the latter decides to start rapidly knocking against the door and Jaemin rolls his eyes, leaning his head back against the headboard and poking his tongue at his inner cheek in annoyance.

“Dude, stop jerking off to some weird hentai porn and come take this shit off of me before I decide to go get my money back” Jeno’s warning makes Jaemin groan, gently pushing you off of his body and climbing off of the bed, heading towards his door. You move as far as you can to the back wall, heart pounding loudly in your ears at the fear of getting caught the second he unlocks the door.

“What do you want?”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist just cause I disrupted you from your ‘me time’” You hear Jeno snicker. “Here. We went downtown today and I visited that art store that you like, bought you some stuff that you might need: film for your camera, new sketchbook for your photos and a polaroid camera that I had a discount on because apparently my ass looks good in these jeans”

“Oh, wow” The shock is obvious in Jaemin’s tone but he takes the bag out of Jeno’s hand, appreciating the kind gesture. He peers inside the bag, seeing everything that Jeno described and he smiles. “Thank you… what do you want from me?”

Jeno scoffs. “Can’t I just give you a present without being accused of wanting something?” Jaemin gives him a blank look, raising his brow which makes Jeno break. “Okay, yeah, there is something I want but I genuinely did want to buy this shit for you… I know you don’t go in there anymore because—”

“What was it that you wanted?” Jaemin immediately cuts him off before he could finish his sentence. Jeno blinks at Jaemin’s sudden abruptness, aware that he’s hit a nerve but he sends an apologetic smile as he pats his shoulder.

“Your video camera. I’m going to try and start an OnlyFans again”

“No. Fuck off” Jaemin steps back, slamming the door in Jeno’s face and locking it. Jeno whines on the other side, before disappearing down the hallway while stomping his feet, clearly upset with not being allowed to use Jaemin’s camera. You watch Jaemin as he comes back to you with the bag in hand, placing it down on his desk chair before settling down next to you.

You take note in the way he stares at the bag, eyes scanning over the company label with an unreadable look. You want to comfort him, to ask him what’s wrong and why he got snappy with Jeno over the mention of the store but you’re not sure if you’re allowed to ask such personal questions, not wanting to overstep any boundaries or act out of line.

So, you decide to say, “Do you always let Jeno borrow your video camera whenever he has the sudden urge to start an OnlyFans again?”

A laugh escapes past Jaemin’s lips and he smiles as he nods his head slowly. “Yeah, usually he just takes it without asking me” He tears his eyes away from the bag to look at you. “Last time he had the brilliant idea of starting an onlyfans, he left the footage on my camera”

“Wow. Sexy” You tease and Jaemin rolls his eyes as he shuffles backwards in bed, coming to sit beside you with his hands resting in his lap. “You know, he always has the urge to start one but he never goes through with it”

“It’s probably because he realises that no one is going to pay to see his one inch needle dick”

You shrug your shoulders with a smile. “I doubt that. His dick is actually pretty impressive”

Jaemin’s head turns towards you in confusion, his brow raising as he takes in your words. “You’ve seen his dick?”

“Sadly” You nod your head. “Miwoo once dared the boys to go skinny dipping during our mini vacation over her parents lake house last year… it’s a shame we didn’t know each other back then, you would’ve had a lot of fun”

“Yeah, sounds like it” Jaemin smiles softly and you smile back, pushing your hair out of your face as you take a look around his bedroom, getting flashbacks from the first time you came in here, cringing in embarrassment at your drunken state. Taking a quick glance at Jaemin, you suck in a breath as you notice he’s already staring at you, quickly turning your attention to something else in the room which happens to be something you failed to notice the first time.

You focus your eyes on the ring that lays on his bedside table, seeming too small for Jaemin’s own fingers and you itch you reach for it, to ask who’s it was but you remember your conversation from yesterday, how Jaemin had said he was in a similar position to you after breaking up with his ex.

Jaemin notices your silence, following your eyes to see what you were looking at and his heart drops into his stomach, chewing his bottom lip nervously as the simple piece of jewellery stares back at him.

“It’s a long story” He copies your response from last night when the topic of Eric was brought up and you nod your head in understatement. “Another time?”

“Another time” You agree.

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

[jeno’s one pubic hair - groupchat]

jeno: guys jeno: i have something to tell u jeno: hold on who the fuck changed the gc name u fucks

yangyang: AHAHAHAHAH

donghyuck: LOOOOOOOL

miwoo: guys cmon u know he’s insecure about it :(

yangyang: aint my fault jeno is only just going through puberty

donghyuck: i bet u take good care of that lil pubic hair don’t u jeno <33

jeno: die.

donghyuck: god i love it when u speak dirty to me

miwoo: leave him alone u dicks

yangyang: imagine little miss itty bitty titty telling us what to do

donghyuck: smh i will NOT take orders from THAT

jeno: why are u calling her itty bitty titty?????

yangyang: coz her boobies are small

donghyuck: ｡｡ donghyuck: that’s her tits btw

jeno: cmon theyre not small theyre just fun sized [yangyang and donghyuck laughed at this message]

yangyang: jeNOOO AHAHAHA

donghyuck: BRO

[yangyang changed the groupchat name to ‘fun sized titties’]

miwoo: do u have a death wish lee jeno

jeno: what did i do

renjun: can u pls stop talking about fucking tits and tell us what u wanted to tell us

jeno; oh yeah jeno: anyway jeno: i have important info about a party

miwoo: ?

jeno: supposed to be a HUGE ass party jeno: so many ppl from different colleges are apparently going jeno: gonna be a shit ton of booze, drugs n people folks

donghyuck: that sounds donghyuck: so sexy

yangyang: i came just thinking about it [donghyuck liked this message]

haru: ok haru: but u are missing out one big detail

renjun: who is hosting it

jeno: ah jeno: well u see jeno: um jeno: :)

miwoo: YEEUN?!?!?!?! [haru, renjun and yn emphasized this message] miwoo: LEE JENO WHAT HTE FUKC

jeno: NO SHE JUST MESSAGED ME TO INVITE ME I SWEAR !!!!!! jeno: she sent me details and ask me to invite people jeno: u guys are my people <333 [donghyuck and yangyang loved this message]

shotaro: whats going on???

miwoo: hey shotaro!!! <333

haru: hi shotaro :)

renjun: hi taro

jeno: hey man

donghyuck: HEY

yangyang: taro <3

you: <3

jaemin: hi

shotaro: (◜◡◝) hey guys !!

miwoo: why would she message u about inviting ppl to the party when she knows i hate her guts

haru: it sounds extremely sus

renjun: ^ ^ ^

jeno: IDK!!!! jeno: i’ve been ignoring her calls since friday but when theres a party mentioned u know i gotta get involved

yangyang: we’re still the best at hosting parties btw

donghyuck: fuck yeah we are

jeno: ofc we are but this one is super big and we gotta go to it jeno: plus its not ACTUALLY yeeuns party, its sunwoos but theyre planning it together coz theyre using his house jeno: yk jeno: coz he rich rich

miwoo: oh miwoo: its at sunwoos?

yangyang: i actually like sunwoo yangyang: hes kinda chill to hang out with yangyang: also he gives u stuff super cheap

donghyuck: he once rolled three joints for me without me even ASKING donghyuck: hes a angel sent from above [yangyang and jeno laughed at this message]

miwoo: didnt he fuck that new girl giselle on campus

jeno: yeah i think it was in a empty classroom

donghyuck: he fucked new girl giselle AND new girl karina donghyuck: at same time btw

shotaro: ?? shotaro: how

donghyuck: youve got a lot to learn my son

renjun: hes lying shotaro, dont listen to a word that comes out of his mouth [donghyuck disliked this message]

donghyuck: IM TELLING THE TRUTH U FCK donghyuck: literally ask sunwoo

renjun: no. fuck off. [donghyuck disliked this message]

yangyang: btw why are yn and jaemin so quiet in this gc yangyang: yn u are usually the one thats the most active in this shit wya :(

you: no im not thats u and hyuck

yangyang: i know i just wanted to hear your voice <3333

you: yang you: shut up

jeno: you can hear her voice upstairs [everyone questioned this message]

donghyuck: wat

jeno: yn is upstairs :) jeno: in jaemins room :)

haru: what?????

miwoo: jaemins room???? miwoo: yn what are u doin in jaemins room ;)

you: jeno...

jeno: i knew u were in there the entire time btw :) jeno: u are not that quiet yk

you: JENO [jeno laughed at this message]

miwoo: HUH miwoo: NOT THAT QUIET?!?!?!?!

haru: ynnnnn? haru: YN

miwoo: hello??? where tf did everyone go

shotaro: they ran upstairs to jaemins room to see yn shotaro: oh shotaro: yangyang is screaming and donghyuck is on the floor shotaro: miwoo ur bf is getting beat up by yn

miwoo: please tell her to watch out for his face and balls pls <3 miwoo: they are very precious to me

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

It’s been a nearly a week since Jeno had basically outed on what was going on between you and Jaemin: Yangyang trying to burst into the room to see first-hand if you were actually present in Jaemin’s room and he dramatically screamed when he saw that you were in fact on the bed beside him. Donghyuck laid in the middle of Jaemin’s bedroom floor and babbled some bullshit while you screech and launched yourself at Jeno for making a joke about your lack of quietness, wrapping your hands around his neck in an attempt to strangle the life out of him.

Renjun was stood in the doorway, clearly amused with the situation and even going as far as getting his phone out to document what was going on while Shotaro cowers behind him with wide eyes. Jaemin manages to pluck you off of Jeno’s body with ease, just in time for Miwoo and Haru to arrive and witness what was going on before laughing loudly.

Lucky for you, after a long and difficult conversation, your friends promised to not make anything a big deal or run off telling everyone, but that didn’t stop any of them from sending suggestive looks or flirtatious comments in both yours and Jaemin’s direction.

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Haru asks you in the comfort of her own bedroom one afternoon, sitting cross legged in front of her mirror on top of a towel as she bleaches her hair blonde, meeting your eyes through the reflection of the mirror with uncertainty.

Haru was hesitant about your decision starting what you have with Jaemin, knowing how vulnerable you were during the breakup with Eric and how vulnerable you can end up being. She’s always supportive of your choices and is always at your side when things go south, but she couldn’t hide the fact that she wasn’t too sure that you were doing the right thing.

“Who cares what she’s doing?! She’s getting dicked down!!!” Miwoo cheers happily, pumping her arms up in the air with little sound effects.

Miwoo was the excited one out of the two, glad to finally have you out of the ‘no sex, no hookup’ mindset you had for three months which, she claims, seemed like torture. She was happy you were finally allowing yourself to have fun and do whatever you wanted without worrying about anything or anyone.

“I’m not getting dicked down” You laugh awkwardly, glancing over at Renjun who sprawls across Haru’s bed in a deep sleep, his hair no longer a dark brown but two toned due to him wanting to bleach his hair along with Haru and letting her experiment.

“You’ve been doing this friends with benefits thing for, like, a week and you’re telling me that you haven’t slept with him yet?” Miwoo looks at you in disbelief, mouth agape.

“We’re taking things slow”

“He finger banged you a few days ago, sweetie… that’s not taking things slow” Miwoo shakes her head with a smile and you roll your eyes, kicking her playfully with her foot and she laughs, focussing her attention back on her nails that she’s applying acrylics too.

“As long as you fully understand what you’re going into and you’re completely okay with doing all this, then everything should be fine.” Haru says as grabs another section of her hair and applies the bleach with the brush. “I just don’t want you regretting anything or end up hurt again… because I will kill Jaemin”

You smile at that, shaking your head as you resume applying one of Haru’s fancy moisturisers to your face, rubbing the cream into your skin evenly, making sure not to miss out any areas. Miwoo holds her hand out in front of her as she scans over her light blue acrylic nails, the colour that was chosen by Jeno a few hours ago over a facetime called where they argued for a hour and a half over the colour which Miwoo, at first, found ugly until Jeno explained the significance of having light blue nails.

“Everyone knows you’re my boyfriend!!!” She had screamed at him. “Why do I need light blue nails to let people know I’m in a relationship?!”

“I know what guys are like, baby!! They’re disgusting little creatures!!” He had screamed back just as loud. “Make them light blue—let them know you’re taken by ME… wait, can you write J on your ring finger?”

“BYE JENO”

“You know…” Miwoo begins to speak, humming as she admires her nails. “The colour actually isn’t that bad, they look pretty” She slowly turns her head to meet your eyes. "Don't tell Jeno that, I can't have his ego get any bigger"

You chuckle and nod. “Okay”

“Hey, Renjun” Miwoo calls his name and he peels his eyes open casually as if he hasn’t been sleeping for the past forty minutes. She outstretches her hand towards him and wiggles her fingers to show off her nails. He looks straight at her, uninterested. “If you saw these nails, what would you think?”

“That you’re in a relationship” Renjun mumbles into the pillow.

“Oh, wow” You gape. “Jeno was right”

“So, would you make Haru wear light blue nail polish? Or acrylics?” Miwoo asks, glancing between Renjun and Haru in curiosity. “You know, seeming as though you both claim that you’re not in a relationship when it’s obvious that you both are—oh don’t give me that look, you’re not fooling anyone with this 'i don't like labels' bullshit!”

“We actually made it official last night” Haru announces as she finishes bleaching her hair, putting the brush down into the empty bowl carefully and looking over her shoulder at you and Miwoo who grin widely. You lift your hands, giving her two thumbs up and mouth ‘congrats’ the same time Miwoo throws her arms in the air.

“And why are we not celebrating?!”

“You’ll use anything as an excuse to celebrate” Renjun mutters and Miwoo completely ignores his tone, keeping her eyes on Haru who shrugs her shoulders as she cleans up after herself.

“Because it’s not a big deal” She stares at her reflection in the mirror, making sure she hasn't missed any spots on her head before she stands. “Plus, I’m low on money so I need to ask Johnny for extra shifts at the store”

Haru grabs her phone off the edge of her bed to do just that, thumbs tapping quickly against her screen as she pulls up Johnny’s contact. Miwoo tidies up her little nail station, putting things back where they belong and throwing things that she no longer needed inside Haru’s mini trash can.

“Are you going to go to that party?” You hear Miwoo ask and you take no notice, thinking it was for either Haru or Renjun but when you lift your head, you realise the question is directed to you when you lock eyes. You point to yourself. “Yes, I was talking to you”

“Oh, uh, maybe? I don’t know… haven’t really thought about it” You scratch the back of your neck. “Why?”

“Because it’s at Sunwoo’s and wherever he is, Eric is” The way she says it so bluntly causes you to firmly press your lips together, an uncomfortable feeling trickling into your stomach at the mention of his name. Miwoo lets out a sigh. “You know, I’m so sick and tired of that pink haired fucker ruining things for you!! I want you to be able to have fun and do whatever you want without worrying if he’s going to be there!!”

“I do have fun” You reassure her, despite the doubt that lingers in your mind.

“Not as much as you did before Eri—” Miwoo’s words are immediately cut off by a pillow launching across the room and smacking her straight across the face. Both of your heads snap towards the culprit, seeing Renjun with his arm outstretched and Haru glaring, her attention completely taken away from her phone. Miwoo lobs the pillow back in Renjun’s direction as she hisses. “What was that for?!”

“For you opening your big mouth” Renjun grumbles, catching the pillow with ease and placing it back under his head as he lays back down. “Be careful with what you’re saying next time, Miwoo. Use your brain before you use your mouth”

Miwoo scoffs. “You’re such an ass, has anyone ever told you that?”

The second Miwoo and Renjun start to bicker back and forth, you quietly excuse yourself and leave the room, taking no notice in the way Haru’s sad eyes watch you walk out. You head for the kitchen, immediately busying yourself with something to do to try and take your mind off what had just happened but you couldn’t, her words continued to repeat themselves in your head.

You’re aware how much you’ve changed since breaking up with Eric, you’re aware that you were no longer the same girl you were three months ago all because of a boy who isn’t really worth your time of day, yet he’s all you ever worry about.

The thought of him makes you sad, seeing him in person reminds you of all the stuff that has happened and you struggle to push it aside and forget. But, truth be told, it's been working a little since starting a friends with benefits relationship with Jaemin who somehow helps take your mind off of Eric whenever you’re with him.

Yet, whenever Jaemin isn’t around to distract you from your thoughts or somebody brings the topic of Eric up, those memories and the feelings you try to forget come back to hit you in the face. You hated it.

“Are you okay?” Haru’s voice softly speaks from behind and you nod without even looking back, busying yourself with cleaning the kitchen. You hear her feet shuffle across the floor, nearing closer and the second she lays her hand on your shoulder, you stop your movements.

She tugs at your shirt to turn you around and you comply, facing her but refusing to make eye contact which she sighs at.

“Miwoo probably didn’t mean it, you know that right?” Haru says as her hand gently pats your shoulder, her touch giving you comfort. “She’s always been straightforward and doesn’t think before what she’s saying… they’re arguing back there but Renjun is giving her some words of advice which will hopefully stick this time”

You chuckle at her words, shaking your head slightly. “It’s fine. I’m just being sensitive, that’s all”

“It’s still a sensitive topic… what you’re feeling is completely normal and completely valid, may I add” Haru smiles at you and you feel your heart warm at her kindness. “Look, you’re not going to get over what happened straight away but we’re going to help you get over it, no matter how long it takes. Miwoo is right… you deserve to be happy and have fun without worrying about anything, especially him... but we’ll help you”

“Thank you” You murmur, allowing her to wrap her arms around your shoulders and pull you in for a hug. You smile, your own arms slithering around her waist and reciprocating the hug that spreads warmth throughout your body.

During the embrace, Miwoo and Renjun emerge from the hallway of Haru’s room, Renjun’s face impassive while Miwoo looks like she was about to get down on her knees and beg for forgiveness, but instead she rushes forward with her arms wide open and crashes into your side to squeeze in between you both.

“I’m sorry” She apologises, tightening her grip on your body. “I didn’t mean it. I need to learn to shut up sometimes”

“It’s okay” You tell her, moving your hand to pat the back of her head. “You were right, anyway…”

“I know” Miwoo sighs jokingly and you laugh, pushing her away from the hug and she stumbles back slightly before composing herself. “I am seriously sorry. Sometimes the words just come out before I even realise what I’m saying… It's a curse. I am cursed”

“Well, at least you’re honest” Haru teases, earning a shove from Miwoo who mutters that she was supposed to disagree with her. The former leaves the kitchen with her boyfriend trailing behind her with his hands on her hips, leaving you and Miwoo standing alone.

Miwoo turns to look over her shoulder at you, teeth gnawing on her bottom lip to stop the words that she so desperately wants to say from flying out of her mouth, no longer wanting to hurt you or offend you in any way. She cares for you, without a doubt, and she definitely wants what’s best for you but she struggles to word it in a way that doesn’t come across as harsh.

Similar to the others, Miwoo hates Eric for what he has done and frankly, she wants to hurt him, (even though she has threatened to do it multiple times). She started to notice that you rarely talk about what happened, that you refuse to bring light to the topic and keep all of your emotions bottled up.

Miwoo hates that you do that. She wants to see you crack, she wants to see you let out all those pent up emotions and take it all out on the one that deserves it the most… maybe Jaemin can be the one that’ll help you break.

“What are you doing?” Your brows pull together in question as you realise that Miwoo’s gone too quiet while looking straight at you. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Miwoo blinks herself back to reality, her eyes meeting yours. A tight lipped smile spreads across her face as she shakes her head. “It’s nothing… wanna watch a movie?”

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

Jaemin makes himself at home easily when he presses in the code and enters your empty apartment, kicking off his shoes at the door and shuffling down the hallway in a direct beeline towards your bedroom.

Being at your place has become second nature for Jaemin, having visited a handful of times whenever you’re home or if he’s sat waiting for you to finish your classes, like today. Lucky for him, he had an early finish and unlucky for you, your classes don’t finish until late and when you gave him a quick text to let him know, Jaemin was more than happy to wait for you at the apartment.

Haru and Miwoo are also finishing their classes late so Jaemin had the place all to himself for a bit, deciding to put his backpack down at the bottom of your unmade bed before he climbs into it, pulling his phone out of his pockets and mindlessly scrolls through his instagram feed as he awaits for your arrival, hearting the pictures that appealed to him the most and a few pictures that his friends posted.

He stops on one that was recently uploaded by Miwoo. The picture is of her, Haru and you sitting in class, holding up finger guns to your temples and pulling different facial expressions. Jaemin’s eyes stick on you, the corner of his lips twitching into a grin as his finger traces your features which accidentally causes him to swipe up and onto the next photo that someone else uploaded, the smile immediately wiping off of his face as he sees the girl and the username.

Eunbin.Kwon, the username reads, and the picture of her in a art studio with paint smeared across her cheeks and a cheesy grin on her face almost makes Jaemin want to squeeze his phone and shatter it to pieces, but instead, his heart aches and his throat makes it hard to swallow.

He shuts off his phone, leaving it laying on his chest as he stares up at the ceiling, the picture replaying in his mind but the second he shuts his eyes to concentrate on his erratic heartbeat, the picture fades, and then it’s blank.

His fingers grip your bedsheets, instantly reminding him of where he is and his mind is filled with you. God, he can’t wait for you to get back. The thought of you makes his body buzz in excitement and he reaches for his phone in a flash to bring up your contact, pressing the message icon.

jaemin: when do u get here

you: in ten you: why

jaemin: bored jaemin: i cant wait to see u

you: :) you: i think we have the place to ourselves btw you: haru got work & miwoo is going over urs to see jeno

jaemin: :)

An incoming facetime call flashes across his screen and an exciting smile spreads across his lips thinking it was coming from you but it falters as he reads Jeno’s name. He sighs softly, laying back comfortable against your pillows and holding his phone above his face as he answers the call.

Jeno’s face appears on the screen, a neon green toothbrush hanging out of his mouth with toothpaste bubbling at the corners. He grins once seeing Jaemin, trying to prop his phone on the bathroom counter.

“Where are you?” Jeno speaks through a mouthful of toothpaste, hastily scrubbing his teeth with one hand while trying to prop the phone with the other.

“Y/N’s” He answers, stretching out his arm to show his surroundings to prove that he was in your bedroom. Jaemin brings the phone back to his face. “What are you doing? Why are you brushing your teeth again?”

“Miwoo’s coming over. I want her to sit on my face until she suffocates me” Jaemin snorts at that, running his fingers through his hair. Jeno spits out the toothpaste and wipes his mouth with a towel, his eyes flickering to Jaemin. “So, it seems like you and Y/N will be having the apartment to yourselves?”

“How did you know that?”

“Well, Miwoo is coming over here to be with me and Renjun said that he’s going to help Haru out with work because that kid still has a broken toe” Jeno states, throwing the towel to the side before picking up a bottle of moisturiser and squirting the contents on his hands before rubbing his face. “So, in conclusion, you and Y/N will have the apartment to yourselves… unless Yangyang cockblocks and decides to come over unannounced”

“He’s finishing up his music stuff with Donghyuck today, I spoke to him before I came here” Jaemin says, fiddling with the ring on his middle finger. “I think Shotaro is with them too. Looks like you and Miwoo will have the place to yourselves too”

“Thank god. I’ve been dying to have sex with her for days… If any of you fuckers come home early while I’m trying to dick her down, I will slaughter you all”

Jaemin laughs at Jeno’s threat, throwing his head back against the pillows with a wide smile. He briefly remembers Jeno and Miwoo having some alone time in their room when Donghyuck and Yangyang decided to burst through the front doors unexpectedly, only to scream in fright when Jeno came running naked down the stairs chasing them with Miwoo’s high heel shoe.

“You know, I can’t believe you haven’t had sex with Y/N yet” Jeno tuts as he finishes applying the moisturiser, shaking his head as he grabs his phone and walks out of the bathroom. “You’ve made out and fingered her, like, four times and you still haven’t got any action? I mean, good on you for holding back for so long but bro… couldn’t be me”

“I’ve came in my pants like a fifteen year old every time it happens so I’m not complaining” Jaemin tells him with a chuckle, his tongue licking at his lips as images of his fingers deep inside your pussy and his soiled boxers come to mind. His eyes meet Jeno’s through the screen. “I don’t want to pressure her into doing anything”

“It won’t hurt to ask” Jeno shrugs his shoulders. “And if she says no, it’s a no. Simple”

Jaemin scoffs. “I know that. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable”

“You won't” Jeno gives him a look and Jaemin gives back an innocent smile. “Right, I’m gonna go and make Miwoo some food for when she gets here… Stay safe, bro. Wrap it up before you—”

“Okay, bye Jeno”

Jaemin is quick to end the call, pressing his thumb against the end button and throwing his phone to the side just in time to hear the code to the front door being pushed in. Jaemin immediately sits up, listening to the sounds of footsteps nearing closer and closer to his destination and his attention turns to the doorway of your bedroom, eyeing the shadow that appears.

A smile instantly spreads across Jaemin’s face as you appear around the corner and enter your room, tiredly throwing down your bag before dropping beside him on the bed, shoving your face into the pillows with a groan. Jaemin’s hand touches your back, fingers kneading into the bottom of your spine before sliding upwards to your shoulder blades.

“That feels nice” You sigh softly, melting into the touch. This makes Jaemin grin, continuing his ministrations on your shoulders as you turn your head to the side to look at him. “Thank you”

Jaemin leans down, gently pecking your lips while he whispers. “You’re welcome, baby”

“Baby?” You repeat with a hum, raising your eyebrow as a small smile threatens to slip onto your face. “You really like that nickname, don’t you?”

Jaemin shrugs his shoulders, the grin still remaining on his features as he watches you flip around onto your back, his hands sliding off of your body and onto the mattress beside you. He watches you for a while, taking in your appearance which weirdly makes his heart warm. Your hair is messily splayed across your pillows, dishevelled from the wind outside and your eyes look drained, your classes and assessments clearly taking a toll on you.

But you still look really pretty, Jaemin thinks.

“What do you want to do today?” You finally ask after a few minutes of silence, not even noticing the way Jaemin has been watching you during that time. “We can watch that new series Shotaro was talking about yesterday? I’ll even cook food this time considering you did it last… or we could literally skip to the part where we make out all night—”

“I want you” Jaemin interrupts and you gape at him, still not used to his boldness as you choke on your spit in surprise. The shock on your face is evident and it almost cracks another smile out of Jaemin but he easily conceals it as he turns to you completely. “I want you. I want to fuck you… if you’ll let me”

I want to fuck you if you’ll let me. His words repeatedly ring through your ears and you struggle to catch your breath.

You’re not sure why you’ve held off having sex with Jaemin for so long, knowing that once you jump into a friend with benefits situation with someone, they’ll immediately fuck to ‘seal the deal’. But neither of you were in a rush or bothered to bring it up or even initiate it, opting to just makeout or even shove your hands down each other's pants to relieve the tension. Was now the time? Were you both finally going to give in?

“Okay” You respond.

“Okay what?” He presses, making sure that you will verbally give him the go ahead, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.

“Okay, I’ll let you fuck me”

Jaemin immediately straddles your waist as he crawls on top of you once you give him your consent, staring down at you with excitement in his eyes. A hand grips your chin, his thumb smooths over your skin before he leans down to mould his lips with yours in a deep but slow kiss.

Your body feels warm and a little stuffy, the clothes you’re wearing are starting to become uncomfortable to bare and you’re desperate to rip them off to finally let yourself breathe but you didn’t want to rush, you wanted to bask in the moment of having Jaemin on top of you.

Jaemin pulls away from your lips to lean back against his heels, bunching up his shirt in his hands before he pulls it over his head, throwing it carelessly to the side.

You take this moment to admire him. His messy black hair hangs just above his darkened eyes, lips swollen and wet. You almost start salivating at the mouth as you move your eyes south. His body is slim and toned, something he must be proud of considering you were told previously that Jaemin used to work out like crazy after an injury you weren’t too sure of.

You wanted to run your hands over his chest and his abs, to grip the necklace that dangles from his neck and pull him closer towards you but you fail to do so as his hands grasp at the shirt you’re wearing and pulls it over your head, leaving you in your bra and shorts.

Jaemin kisses you again, his hot tongue playing against yours and a low noise rumbles from the back of his throat as your hands come up to twist in his hair. His kisses move from your mouth, to your cheek, to your jaw and finds a place at your neck.

You let out a small moan when he sucks at a sensitive spot, eyelids becoming heavy. His bottom half gyrates against yours, letting you feel his cock through his sweatpants.

“I’m so hard right now” Jaemin pants against your skin, his breath hot which sends shivers down your spine. You bite down on your lip as you push him away from your body, tugging at the waistband of his sweatpants, eager to tear them off of his body.

Jaemin smiles down at you as he lets you awkwardly pull down his sweatpants, kicking them off of his legs and throwing them to the side carelessly.

You can’t help but eye the bulge in his boxers, mouth salivating at the size and the cocky smirk that crawls on his lips make you roll your eyes.

Noticing he’s the only one in just his underwear, he’s quick to reach for your shorts, keeping his eyes on yours as he tugs the material down your legs, craning his neck to press open mouthed kisses to the skin that he reveals.

Your shorts are carelessly thrown over his shoulder and the hands that caress your legs are moving upwards to your clothed heat, the material uncomfortably clinging to your wet core and you gasp as he grounds his hand against you. It wasn’t enough to give your clit the attention it so desperately needed, but it still makes your back arch in pleasure.

His hand slithers up your body, running up your stomach and over your chest, squeezing your tits over your red lacy bra which you mentally applauded yourself for picking today. His fingers wound in your hair and pull you upwards in a sitting position, your forehead almost pressed against his collar bones but the hand in your hair tugs your head back to bring your eyes up to his.

“You’re so fucking pretty” The way his husky voice compliments you sends shivers down your spine and your pussy throbbing, his hazy gaze making your head spin and you crane your neck to messily kiss his lips.

He lets you do as you please as he unclips your bra and pulls at your underwear, struggling to get the material down your thighs but you lift your hips to help him. Your teeth nibble at his bottom lip and Jaemin grunts as he feels your hand brush against his confined cock.

“Fuck—don’t” He breaths out, ripping his lips away from yours and you pull your hand away as quick as you possible could as if you’ve been scolded, eyes wide in worry that you’ve done something wrong. Jaemin laughs at your expression, pecking your cheek in reassurance. “I’m gonna cum fast if you touch me, baby… your hands will be the death of me”

You nod your head as you fall back into your pillows when Jaemin pushes you down, reaching behind him to retrieve his backpack from the ground, unzipping it fast and dipping his hand inside only to pull out a small silver packet.

“Do you carry those around with you?” You teasingly question and Jaemin sends you a grin as he finally disposes of his boxers, dick standing tall against his toned stomach.

“Just for you” He winks and you snort, wanting to make a comment but your words get trapped at the back of your throat as you watch Jaemin between your legs, your heart pounding wildly against your chest as he tears open the packet with his teeth, throwing it on your bedside table before rolling the condom on his length.

His brows scrunch in concentration as he stares down at himself, fingers working against his cock to adjust the rubber, making sure it was on securely. You find the sight in front of you exotic, the way Jaemin touches himself and how his cock twitches at the contact causes you to clench your thighs together, knees knocking at his stomach.

“What are you doing?” He asks with a chuckle, placing his hands on the top of your knees to pry your legs apart, lowering himself down between your legs and you gasp as his cock nudges against your centre.

Your body buzzes with nerves and excitement when you see his lust filled look, eyes half lidded as he stares back at you with a smile and you return the soft gesture, hands reaching up to cup his face and bring him down for a kiss.

Jaemin’s lips mould with yours as he pushes his cock head inside your pussy, breaking the kiss for a brief moment when your walls instinctively close around him before finding your lips again.

You find it difficult to continue the kiss, a shuddering breath escaping past your lips as you feel burn of his cock stretching you out, hands gripping the bed sheets for some sort of support which Jaemin spots and he grabs your wrists, flinging your arms around his shoulders so you could cling to him as he leans over you.

You both let out a shared gasp as he completely sinks into you, bottoming out and your fingernails dig into the skin of his shoulder blades.

“Fuck—jesus chri—you’re so fucking big—shit!!!” You babble, unable to form a correct sentence and Jaemin grins at that, not wanting to move yet to allow you to get used to his size.

“Breathe, baby” Jaemin coos, his hand affectionately caressing your hair while trying to calm his own breathing as he feels your walls clamp around his cock. You cry out as you feel Jaemin move slightly, his tip prodding against your sweetest spot and your legs uncontrollably twitch.

You weren’t sure if it was because you haven’t had sex in three months or if it was the size of Jaemin’s cock but your core burns at the continuous stretch, even the slightest of movements Jaemin makes sends you over the edge.

Jaemin presses chaste kisses to your face, his hips making the tiniest of movements to get comfy and you whine, your arms tighten around his shoulders as the burning feeling spreads throughout your thighs.

“Are you okay?” He asks with genuine concern, his hands still caressing your hair while smothering your face with soft, delicate kisses. “Can you take me?”

The question would’ve usually made you roll your eyes and send a slap to his bicep, but it didn’t come across as cocky or teasing, he was asking a genuine and real question and all you can do is nod.

Jaemin’s hand moves between your body, his thumb rubbing circles at your clit in hopes to help you relax and calm down your nerves while slowly beginning to rock his hips back and forth. It wasn’t a drastic movement, his dick hardly budged from inside your pussy but the feeling of him rubbing against your walls makes you let out a high pitched moan.

The sound of Jaemin breathing so heavily into your ear makes your head swirl and clench around him, light moans slipping through his lips at the hold you have on him. Fuck, you needed to hear that again.

“Jae…” You breathe out his name and he raises his head to meet your eyes. “More”

“More?” He repeats, licking at his lips. “I can give you more, baby”

He moves back, leaving just the tip buried inside your heat before pushing his hips forward, skin slapping against skin quietly. Your nails scratch at his shoulder blades as he repeats his movement, his thrusts slow but hard as he pounds you open, noises uncontrollably spilling from his mouth as your walls close around him.

“Fuck, you’re so wet” Jaemin mumbles under his breath, looking down to where your bodies are connected, panting heavily as your pussy swallows him to the base. “Look at that, you’re taking me so well”

“It feels—” You choke on a gasp. “It feels so good. You’re making me feel so good”

You feel like you could cry from the pleasure that ripples through your body, his cock rubbing against every inch of your walls and prodding repeatedly against your sweet spot. The desperation in his thrusts is enough to send you over the edge, your mouth falling open as a cry of his name leaves your lips, legs trembling around his hips with your walls convulsing around him.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you allow the euphoric feeling take over your body, your body twitching in his tight hold and he coos softly in your ear, whispering nothing but affections and praises as his thrusts grow sloppier, the grip of your heat around his cock bringing him closer to his own end.

“Wanna see you cum” You slur your words, your fingers scratching at his back before running up through his hair, tugging at his roots as you start to beg. “Pleasssse… wanna see you cum”

The look in his eyes is unrecognisable but he follows your words, teeth biting down on his bottom lip while his hips piston into yours, gripping the flesh of your thighs with his hands. A choked gasp of your name flies out of his lips when you tighten around him, helping him near his orgasm and you smile as his movements fasten, his need to cum taking over. You tug at his hair again, sharp thrusts jostle your body and you ignore the throb of your pussy, loving the way Jaemin moans out your name.

“Baby…” Jaemin grunts, his body stills and lips mushing against yours as he fills up his condom with quick spurts of cum. He struggles to keep up with the messy kiss, panting against your lips as he empties himself inside of the condom, his body tensing above you while his arms shake, struggling to hold himself above your body but you tug him down, allowing him to put his entire weight on top of you.

His tongue lazily plays with yours as you bask in each other’s embrace, your fingers still tangled in his sweaty locks and he only pulls away when your walls accidentally clench around him, breaking the kiss to wince at the sensitivity on his cock head.

You smile apologetically and Jaemin chuckles, pecking your lips before slowly pulling himself out of you. You feel empty, clenching around nothing but air and you watch with a slight pout on your lips as he carefully removes the condom from his length, making sure not to spill anything over your carpet as he disposes it in a small waste bin beside your bed.

The silence takes over you both and you’re unsure of what you’re supposed to do now. Usually after having sex with Eric, you cuddle, but you have no idea if you’re supposed to do that in a situation like this and the thought makes you instantly close your legs, already feeling shy despite Jaemin touching and exploring your body a mere few seconds ago.

You wonder if Jaemin was having the same inner thoughts as you, and even if he was, he didn’t show it. Instead, he stands up from the bed and slips out of the room. Your brows scrunch in confusion until you hear the water running from the bathroom and Jaemin appears back inside your bedroom, offering his hand out for you to take.

“Let’s go get cleaned up” He tells you as you remain laying down, unmoving from your position on the bed.

Jaemin doesn’t give you enough time to consider his words as he’s already gripping your ankles and tugging you down the bed, a loud laugh erupting from your chest as he somehow scoops you up easily over his shoulder, carrying you to the bathroom with his hands securely holding your thighs.

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

You twirl your fork around your pasta, shoving the creamy goodness into your mouth with a hum of delight, finally being able to feed your hungry self after the bath you and Jaemin had. You spent a good hour inside the bathroom, helping each other wash up and even relax a while with a few shared kisses and lingering touches.

Jaemin even helped wash your hair, applying the right amount of shampoo and conditioner, and massaging your scalp with his fingers. The act alone had felt a bit too intimate and you took it upon yourself to finish the rest, leaving the bath as quickly as you possibly could before Jaemin followed behind.

He didn’t question the rush, despite it weighing heavy on his mind, and he continued on as normal. He helped you cook pasta for dinner and even added his own little twist of extra spices and sauces.

You’re sitting together on the sofa, the TV playing whatever nonsense in the background while you dig into your food, occasionally meeting each other's eyes whenever you glance up to see what the other is doing. You immediately avert your eyes first whenever you’re caught staring, face hot with embarrassment and Jaemin chuckles every time.

“How are you feeling?”

You look from your pasta bowl to peek over at Jaemin, his eyes already looking back at you. You swallow. “How are you feeling?”

“I asked first” He retorts with a smirk but he answers you anyway, placing his empty bowl and fork on the coffee table in front of him with a clang. “I’m good”

“Cool” You nod awkwardly. “I’m good too”

“Cool” He repeats your words, his body fully facing towards you and you start to feel intimidated by his attention, averting your eyes down to your pasta bowl which was becoming empty. Damn it. Where the fuck are you supposed to look now? “Was it good?”

“Was what good?”

His face goes blank. “My dick inside your—”

“OH!” You splutter, choking on your food. Jaemin’s hand is quick to pat you on the back as you uncontrollably cough, struggling to find your breath and you put down the bowl to rub at your sore throat. Jaemin smiles, finding your reaction amusing as he rubs your back in circular motions. You clear your throat to regain yourself. “It was… okay”

“Just okay?” Jaemin raises a brow. “You left scratch marks on my shoulders and—”

“Oh my god. Shut up!” You screech, hiding your face in pure and utter embarrassment and all Jaemin could do was laugh. You keep your hands attached to your face as you mumble another answer. “It was good, really good…”

“Thank you, baby” Jaemin cheekily grins, pushing himself across the sofa to sit beside you. His arms wrap around your middle, hands creeping under your shirt and pressing against your skin for comfort, resting his head on your chest. Your own hands slip from your face slowly, eyes wide at his sudden affection and you reciprocate the hug by carefully sliding your arms around his shoulders, fingers playing with his damp hair.

Was this okay? Were we allowed to do this? You chew your bottom lip anxiously. Friends hug. Friends with benefits can do this sort of thing… It's normal. Your internal panic was cut short by Jaemin raising his head from your chest to peer at you, a slight pout on his lips.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Jaemin asks, rubbing patterns into the skin of your side to grab your attention. You meet his gaze, your heart warming at the gentle smile he gives you as he caresses your cheek. “What’s wrong?”

You shrug your shoulders. “Just thinking”

“About… ?”

“It’s nothing” You shake your head, looking away. “It’s stupid”

“Hey, look at me” Jaemin urges and you fix your eyes back to his face. “It’s not stupid… One of the rules we made was to be honest with each other, right? So, tell me… talk to me”

“I haven’t had anything like this for three months” You begin, a wave of nerves washing over you and hitting you in the pit of your stomach. “I haven’t kissed anyone in three months, I haven’t slept with someone in three months… I haven’t been like this with anyone for three months. It’s weird for me and my mind just goes overboard with so much shit, and I have no idea how to control it”

“Do you—”

“Eric and I were together for a little over a year” Jaemin sits up in shock, not expecting you to open up about your ex so soon but he’s intrigued, his hands still on your body in hopes to comfort you while you explain. “He was my first exclusive boyfriend and our relationship was fun. We did everything together… I mean, he was not only my boyfriend but he was my best friend too… I think that’s what made it so hard after he told me that he wanted to break up, to see other people. He said he loved me still, but he wanted to be single. He didn’t want to be tied down”

Jaemin’s heart clenches at the sad look on your face, the way your eyes turn glassy and you refuse to meet his gaze.

“Right after we broke up, Miwoo dragged me and Haru to this party which I didn’t realise was hosted by Eric. I saw him making out with some girl in a corner of a room… he turned to me and he smiled at me as if nothing happened the day before. He came over and kissed me to greet me as if it was the most normal thing to do”

“Y/N—”

“How could you claim to still love someone if you want to break up and see other people? How could he kiss me after breaking my heart?” The way your voice shakes and cracks makes Jaemin feel a mixture of emotions, seeing the girl in front of him slowly breaking down at the thought of another man's doings.

He softly whispers your name as he brings you forwards, allowing you to melt into his chest as he cocoons you in his arms, resting his head on top of yours. You couldn’t cry, despite feeling the absolute need to. You couldn’t scream and you couldn’t shout at the top of your lungs to let out all the emotions you wanted to let out. It was stuck and you had no idea how to let it go.

Instead, you allow yourself to relax in the arms of someone who understands your pain and can comfort you in a way that will help you forget about your problems, your fingers grasping the front of his shirt and pulling him closer even though he was already flush against your body.

Jaemin leans back from the embrace to cup your cheeks in his hands, his thumb smoothing over the skin as his eyes look into yours. “Do you want us to fight him”

The corner of your lips twitch amusingly. “What?”

“Do you want us to fight him? Because we will. Jeno can throw a few good punches, Shotaro’s quick on his feet so he can jab him a few times. Renjun’s harsh with his words so he could definitely make him cry… Donghyuck’s a little psycho so he would probably shave off his hair or cut up his clothes or something, Yangyang would probably join in”

“Oh yeah?” You giggle at his little rant, tilting your head to the side as you look up at him. “And what are you going to do?”

Jaemin ponders for a moment, lips pursing in deep thought as he glances around the room for some inspiration but a wide smirk spreads across his face as he slowly turns his attention back to you. You gulp at the familiar look in his eyes, a glint of something you were sure you had seen a few hours ago.

“I would fuck you right in front of him” His words sends something shooting straight down to your core. “I would force him to watch me make you cum more times than he ever could… I want him to hear you scream my name over and over again”

“You could do that?”

“Oh, baby” Jaemin tuts, connecting your lips for a brief moment before he whispers. “You know I can make you do that”

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

“So? How was it?” Miwoo asks you at breakfast the next morning, shoving spoonfuls of cereal in her mouth as she eyes you up. Jaemin left way before Haru and Miwoo came home last night, giving you one last mind blowing orgasm with just his fingers alone before leaving with a smug smile on his face.

The girls came in just as you got ready for bed, disappearing behind closed doors and throwing yourself in bed while giggling like a little girl who has done something so daring and new, even if it wasn’t daring or new.

You take a sip of your coffee as you raise your eyes to Miwoo. “How was what?”

Miwoo scoffs at your response. “The sex, obviously”

You slowly place your cup down on the table as you stare at Miwoo, brows furrowed with eyes wide. “How the fuck did you—”

“Oh please, I know sex like the back of my hand. Plus, you have this—” She pauses, waving her hand around your body. “—glow to you, which I know comes from having good sex. So, come on, spill everything. Tell us all the dirty little details”

“I’m actually intrigued too” Haru admits as she leans her chin on her hand.

“You guys are unbelievable” You mutter under your breath, shaking your head as you lean back comfortably in your seat. You lick your lips, keeping silent for a few seconds longer before a smile breaks out on your face. “It was really good”

“I knew it!!!” Miwoo squeals excitingly, clapping her hands together. “Is his dick big? Did he know how to use it well? Did he make you cum first? Did he—”

“Yes, yes and yes. Everything that you’re going to ask is a yes” Miwoo screeches as she kicks her feet, thrashing around in her chair and Haru keeps her composure even though the smile on her face widens every second that passes. “He even run me a bath and helped clean me up, it was crazy”

“That’s kinda romantic” Miwoo points out, eyeing you suspiciously. Your face drops at that, panic begins to rise as you start to wonder were the actions too romantic and heading towards more of a couple relationship instead of a friends with benefits one.

“It’s not romantic” Haru reassures you with a gentle smile as she notices the shift in your demeanor. “It’s just him giving you aftercare, it’s normal”

“Sounds quite suspicious to me” Miwoo hums to herself, lips pursed as she eyes you one last time before grinning widely again. “Is he into dirty talk? Did he talk dirty to you?”

“Not really, he said a few words but it seemed like he was holding back on a lot of it” You take a sip of your coffee to let Miwoo squeal before you start talking again. “I, uh, I actually brought up the whole Eric situation to him… I told him everything”

Haru sits up straight. “You did? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it just… sorta came out? I felt comfortable telling him and Jaemin just sat quietly and listened to everything I had to say” You heart warms as you recall what happened, the way Jaemin watched you in concern and kept a comforting hand on your body while you opened up about your past made you thankful.

“What did Jaemin say?” Miwoo presses. “Does he want to kill Eric too?”

“He said that he’d get the guys to beat him up” You tell them, averting your eyes away from them shyly as you remember what else he said. “And that he would fuck me in front of Eric”

Haru pulls a face. “That’s so—”

“Hot” Miwoo cuts her off with a gasp, fanning herself with her hand as she shakes her head. “That’s so fucking ho—why can’t Jeno be like that?!?!”

“Um, Jeno is like that” Haru points out, crossing her arms over her chest. “He literally wanted to fuck you in front of that guy that was flirting with you two weeks ago”

Miwoo blinks. “Yeah, but, that’s not the same thing… I want him to fuck me in front of an ex-boyfriend”

“You don’t have an ex-boyfriend”

Miwoo throws her arms in the air dramatically. “Why are you bullying me?! This feels like a personal attack right now, Jeon Haru”

“Because you make no sense!!” Haru laughs loudly. You sigh, bringing the cup to your lips as their bickering gets louder. “How can you say you want Jeno to be like that when you don’t even have a ex-boyfrie—”

“It was just a figure of spee—hey! Stop bringing up the fact that I haven’t got an ex-boyfriend!!! Do you have a death wish?!?!” Miwoo sucks at her teeth as she looks Haru up and down with a disgusted look on her face. She abruptly turns her head, startling the both of you. “I don’t even want to look at you”

“Good” Haru shoves a spoonful of cereal in her mouth. “You nearly made me lose my appetite”

“Fuck you!!!”

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

@bockhyun | @jvngkookks | @carelessshootanonymous

1K notes View Post

gelamores

3 years ago

I LAVAVAAVVAVVVVV THSI SOMCUH

☆ the hates everyone except you trope | park jay

"hey! focus on the assignment!" "well stop being so fucking pretty and i might be able to!"

pairing : badboy!jay x good girl! reader

summary : being the smartest one in your whole year had its perks, but it meaning that you would have to tutor the students that were behind in class was definitely the ultimate con- except for it allowing you to get to know the school’s bad boy in a way no one else has before.

word count : 27,994

includes smut, angst, fluff.

use of drugs and alchohol.

minors DNI

☆read the other volumes?

taglist : @srirachibi @ryu-naa @blank-velvet @hoonstrology @person-standing @yuakagi @moasworld @rein-deer-stuffs @ily-cuz-i @lix-freckle3 @leeis @turnipsandflowerss @hoewithnojams @liliansun @melaninjhs @sunshine-skz @andromedawillburryyou @shynypeacekitten @violevantae @rpkth @hime98 @fvryang @j4yluvr @heelariously @fireflies997 @rikipediaa @yuakagi @person-standing @blank-velvet @ryu-naa @srirachibi (sorry if i forgot anyone lol)

growing up in a small town and then moving to the capital city for your first year of high school is and never will be easy.

your entire family had been born and grew up in your small hometown themselves. it was a town where everyone knew everyone. you had grown to become comfortable in your small town. there wasn't much going on, it was basically silent.

and you loved the silence.

though, you dreamed of moving far away from your small, quiet town once you graduated high school- and you never wanted to return.

you didn't want to be like everyone else in the world, it was one of your biggest fears. you couldn't bare the thought of being like someone else, which was hard since everyone in your town thought the same, dressed the same, talked the same and so on.

besides your fear of being like everyone else, you had a fear of burning out in life.

you had always been intelligent.

you got grades that were so high that colleges had been looking into accepting you even before you had graduated. your teachers were always impressed with you, even giving you assignments that were extremely advanced for someone your age to complete.

your obvious intelligence had made your parents extremely hard on you. always pushing you to study and to get your assignments done on time so that you could go far in life. your parents didn't have the luck of being as smart as you, so when they found out that somehow the two of them had made a genius child- their minds went into a haywire.

your parents didn't want you to end up like themselves when you were older. so, they gave you strict rules, a strict curfew, a strict schedule that you had to follow.

on some days, you didn't mind your routine. you found comfort in it.

but other days, you wanted to pull your hair out as you heard kids your age laughing down the street on a nice spring day- probably making amazing childhood memories that they could tell their kids about one day. you on the other hand had no memories that you could share.

what would you even tell your kids? oh, i sat inside for years with my head in a textbook and stress circulating my entire being so that i could please my parents and make a name for myself in this life.

yeah, really fun.

since your parents really wanted you to live a life that they didn't and would never have, they decided to move to the capital city - seoul - for your first year of high school.

you were excited, but so scared at the same time. you got to get away from the small town you had always lived in where you knew everyone and everything. to a place where you knew no one and nothing.

to say that your first year of high school was awful would be an understatement.

your first year of high school was horrendous.

James hummed in approval, moving out of the way so miyougn could place more food on the table before she sat down herself. ou can sit across from jay." she ushered you over to one of the empty dining room chairs. ive way, it felt like intimidating and more friendly. hould come to a party with me woman for a minute and you could already tell just how different she was from jay. egret it at all. out for each other, making sure that one of them doesn't drink or smoke too much.

it was like you were invisible to everyone- except to yoon seeun.

"hi!" the girl sat down across the cafeteria table from you.

"um, hi?" you answered with a confused tone, you looked around the busy cafeteria, trying to see if anyone had sent this girl over to sit with you as a prank. no one had sat with you for the first week of high school, you tried to sit with other tables but you got kicked out of all of them as they were apparently 'someone else's'.

"what're you looking for?" the girl asked amused as she watched you scan your surroundings.

"just- did someone tell you to sit with me? because you don't have to! i'm fine b-" you started, embarrassment filling you as you explained yourself.

"what? no!" she laughed, "i wanted to sit with you."

"oh."

"i'm yoon seeun." she introduced herself. you looked at her fully as she said her name. she had a rounder face, and pretty big eyes. she had a pretty mole right above her left eye that seemed to match her beauty.

"i'm y/l/n y/n." you introduced yourself as well.

"i know," seeun shrugged, pulling backpack around herself so she could open it, "you sit in front of me in math."

"oh, i'm so sorry. i haven't really focused on everyones names yet."

"that's okay!" seeun smiled, "what elementary school did you go too?"

"um, i moved here from seungju, so i don't know if you'd know it."

"where the hell is seungju?"

"it's like, really south and really small!"

"how small?"

"like, the population is around two thousand."

"my god! what're you doing here?" seeun screeched, making you laugh at her shocked expression. "there's more than two thousand students just in our grade!"

"my parent's wanted a better education for me." you shrugged measly.

"so you really don't know anything about this place then."

"yeah, pretty much. but i think after a week i've been slowly catching on to the cliques going on."

"oh. so you must know the queen sieun." seeun rolled her eyes with a frown.

"no, who's that?"

"she's a brat and she basically runs the whole city. she's in our grade." seeun explained, turning around and nudging her chin towards a table at the far corner of the room. "she's the really pretty one with the light orange hair."

you easily spotted the orange haired girl from across the room. it seemed like everyone in the cafeteria was staring at her, though she was oblivious to it. she sat with other really pretty girls that didn't seem to match her beauty.

"her dad is park namjung, that famous singer from the 80s."

"holy shit! my mom use to love him!"

"yeah yeah. well his fame has gone to her head and apparently everyone else's at this school."

"she's really like that?"

"yeah, believe me, i used to be friends with her."

"no way. what happened?"

seeun shrugged, "everyone found out who her dad was last year and it just totally changed her. she got popular and pretty and i didn't know you know, we stopped being friends."

"you're pretty what're you're talking about!" you interjected, shaking your head at her.

"yeah, but not pretty enough to sit at that table." seeun rolled her eyes with a huff.

"who cares, you're pretty in your own damn way, you don't need to look like anybody else."

seeun smiled at your words. she's really needed to hear some positives about her appearance since she's been pushed into the background of sieun's life movie. "thank you."

"no problem."

"now," seeun pulled out a textbook from her bag, "you don't happen to be good at math do you? because the assignment that's due next period really needs to be done."

"yeah i can help you! i'm kinda smart."

"really!" you nodded in response to her with a shy smile. "good, we need a smart person around here." seeun flipped trhough the book, making you laugh at her insult.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

seeun and you became close friends quickly. she taught you about everyone in your school and all the drama that you missed out on while living in "some small hick town" as seeun reffered it to. she had introduced you to some of her friends, but you didn't really 'click' with them as well as you did with seeun.

your first month at high school was made better because of her.

though, you didn't really understand the how much importance that seeun put on the importance of reputation, you didn't really care. you thought it was funny that seeun knew everything about everyone and it reminded you of your hometown. seeun didn't notice how little popularity meant to you, she was just glad that she had someone to listen to her- and you were happy to.

after the first month- you had figured that you had heard everything about everyone from seeun. until an unfamiliar boy walked into the cafeteria.

seeun and you were sitting at 'your table' (yes you even had your own table now) in the cafeteria. the boy wore all black with black combat boots that matched his black hair. his jaw was sharp like all his other features. his lips were pulled down into a subtle frown that made you wonder just how pretty he could be if he smiled. he looked like he came straight out of shitty wattpad fanfic.

"who's that?" you tilted your head to the side where the boy was talking to the usual overly happy lunch lady who now adorned her own frown as she looked up at him.

seeun looked towards the direction, "that's park jay."

"park jay?" you repeated almost absentmindedly as you continued to watch him buy a granola bar.

"yeah, park jongsung, but he likes to go by as jay."

"i've never seen him before."

seeun scoffed with a laugh, "yeah because he basically never comes. if he does come then he's either high, drunk or both."

"who does he hang out with?"

"just a bunch of misfits that you wouldn't know either. they hate everyone except for each other."

you watched park jay leave the lunch lady with a granola bar in his hand. a teasing smirk on his face as he walked past sieun and her groups table, his fingers waved mockingly at sieun as she rolled her eyes in disgust at him. he pushed the cafeteria doors open with his back, his smirk never leaving his face as he internally laughed at sieun until he disappeared into the hallway.

park jay didn't seem to be like any of the other boys at your school- especially with the way he acts towards park sieun. he doesn't drop to his knees from her beauty when he sees her.

"what're you thinking about?" seeun asked you as your brain became intoxicated with thoughts of park jay.

you shrugged, "nothing."

"it better not be about park jay."

"it's not!" you defended yourself quickly, avoding eye contact with your friend as you pretending to read your text book.

"good, he's a trouble maker, you don't want to get caught up with him."

"what do you mean by trouble maker?"

"mm," seeun thought outloud for a moment, "he parties a lot, does drugs a lot, commits stupid crimes with his friends and has probably slept with half the girl student population in seoul."

you imagined park jay in the scenes that seeun described to you about him. yoru brain going haywire as you thought about him lazily smoking a cigarette with loud music and girls surrounding him.

"has he always been like that?" you asked seeun curiously.

"no, he used to be nice until last year. he comes from a good family." you nodded at seeun's words, your eyes zoning out on the cafeteria doors were park jay last stood. "why do you wanna know?"

you looked at seeun with a sheepish smile, "just wondering."

seeun shrugged and went back to finishing her lunch, letting you go back to studying.

but it was so hard to study with park jay intruding every thought.

-- -- -- -- -- --

throughout your years at high school, you had a few classes with park jay. it became a game just for you about how many times he would come to class that month. sometimes he'd come three times a week, other times you wouldn't see him for almost two weeks. your teachers always reprimanded him, but he never seemed to care. his usual tired and faded gaze never indicated anything else.

you always sat in the back of the class, too shy to sit anywhere else. it gave you the opportunity to people watch the others in your classes. though, there was never really anyone that interesting to watch- besides park jay.

jay had changed drastically from year 9 to year 10. he grew taller, got piercings and a few small tattoos covered his arm. his academic intelligence stayed the same though. barely showing up for school, winging tests that he'd be no where even close to passing anyways.

you were sure that you were just as invisible to park jay as you were to everyone else in your school. you people watched- but people never watched you.

you told yourself that you liked it that way- but you felt so misunderstood at the same time. and you loved yoon seeun, but even sometimes you'd feel lonely as you sat beside her.

in year 10, you felt sweat drip down your back as you sped walked to your class, hoping to not be late for. your binder was messily open as you tried to organize all your essays and assignments. a hard thud into yoru front made the mess even bigger as your papers flew all over the ground. little chuckles and gasps surrounding you in the hallway from the other students.

you dropped down to your knees in a hurry to pick it all up, paying no attention to waht or who you had bumped into until you noticed the still, black, combat boot standing right on the middle of your essay.

you glanced up and met the tired and faded gaze of park jay that you had only seen from a far before. he wore the usual serious expression on his face as he looked down at your chaotic and nervous figure.

"what?" he asked you with a tilt of his head.

"you're standing on my essay."

jay's eyes glanced down at his feet, and in fact he was standing right on the pieces of paper. quickly, almost too out of character for him, he lifted his heavy boot, watching you slip the papers out.

you stood up and still had to tilt your head upwards to look at him, a sheepish smile on your face, "um, thanks." you move around him, almost bolting away from him so you could get to class on time. you felt your ears turning pink out of embarrasment. of course you had to bump into park jay.

jay never let the memory of you murmuring a 'thanks' to him fade. when he did go to school, he'd always try to catch a glimpse of you in the hallway. he'd smile internally when he did. you always seemed to be so busy. so stressed out from school. always so of him. but it was so mentally draining to pretend to be someone else.

jay really did have no idea who you were, but you were different and cute and he liked it.

jay was tired of seoul and everyone in it. he hated the stereotypes, the cliques, the shitty music that everyone was told to like. he tried to be like everyone else during his elementary school years. he wanted to please his parents and for them to be proud of him. but it was so mentally draining to pretend to be someone else.

he hated how everyone thought they knew everything about him and everyone else. because it wasn't him- and it really pissed him off that it was what everyone thought.

all it took for him to leave his old facade behind was for lee heeseung to offer him a blunt.

lee heeseung was a year older than jay and he was the coolest person in seoul. (at least that's what jay thinks) heeseung knew how to have fun, how to ignore all the stupid stereotypes and he took jay under his wing. heeseung took some others under his wing too; shin jake, park sunghoon, kim sunoo, yang jungwon and nishimura riki.

they liked to have fun and enjoy life. none of them understood how wasting their youth cramped up studying in their bedrooms was an important use of time. they didn't like following the trends that were set in their generation. they liked to think outside of the box unlike the other robots in your school.

so it made them become misfits- and they didn't care. if anything, it just made them hate everyone else more than how much they hated them.

jay never let the memory of you murmuring a 'thanks' to him fade. when he did go to school, he'd always try to catch a glimpse of you in the hallway. he'd smile internnally when he did. you always seemed to be so busy. so stressed out from school. always so good.

it made him think that you were too good for a place as bad as seoul.

you were too good for a person as bad as him.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

of course, although you were basically invisible to the popularity rankings at your school, you still had some sort of reputation. you were smart, and people knew you were smart.

you weren't a teachers pet, but it was obvious that teachers liked you a bit more than any of the other students. sometimes other students would ask you for help on a certain assignment, which you didn't mind doing, and it would actually help your classmates in the long run. your teachers noticed your small tutoring and wanted to give you some credit for it.

so, your guidance counsellor called you into his office and offered you extra credits if you became a tutor for your school. you told him that you'd think about it, but of course your parents forced you to do it as it would 'look good on your school transcript' when you graduate.

you spent your final year of high school tutoring some students. some were in your grade, others were below you, and it was fun at first. until your teacher told you that you'd have to tutor park jay a few times a week.

your first instinct when you heard the news was to shout 'no fucking way', but you internally calmed yourself down and smiled.

"are you okay with tutoring him for a bit? his grades are awfully low and he needs to graduate this year." your techer practically begged you.

you bleat a quick "sure." and your teacher seems more pleased with you than she ever has before.

"great!" your teacher clapped, "i've set it up for you to tutor him every tuesday! how's that sound?"

"perfect." you nodded, anxiety runs up your spine with the word.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

the first tuesday that you were suppose to tutor park jay in the library- he didn't show up.

you sat for an hour after school, waiting for the arrival of the infamous misfit that smoked and drank and commited crimes with his friends for fun.

after ten minutes, you figured that he really wasn't going to show up, you didn't really care. it gave you some time to study for your own tests before you had to go home and study there.

the next tuesday, park jay waltzed into the library with a cocky smirk on his face.

he was about thuirty minutes late to when your tutoring session was suppose to start- but he showed up.

you heard someone clear their throat from beside the table you were sitting at, distracting you from your history homework. you honestly didn't expect park jay to be standing beside you when you looked up from the textbook. the look on jay's face showed that he wasn't really expecting you either.

when jay was told he wouldn't be able to graduate at the end of the year because his grades were so low, he kept his usual 'i don't give a fuck' expression and attitude on the outside. rolling his eyes when his mother gasped from beside him in the principal's office.

"jongsung!" she hissed to him, utter shock and disappointment filling her voice as his father remained silent on the other side of him.

jay loved his mother.

he thought she was beautiful and caring and thoughtful and everything a good mother needed to be. but she didn't agree with jay and his friends' morals. she insisted that having good grades in school meant everything. when in jay's reality- they certainly didn't.

it took some time for jay's mother to realize jay's heavy decline in school but when she did notice, she wasn't pleased. jay hated that he made her worry every night that he wouldn't be home by the time she had set for him. he hated the look she gave him when she noticed his blood shot eyes at 3am as he stumbled into the house back from a party. he hated hearing her cry at the kitchen table late night after yelling at him to go to his room after he regretully talked back to her.

jay hated the way he was making his mother feel that sometimes it distracted him from how much he hated his father.

although jay hated stupid cliques and stereotypes, he imagined that there were certain groups of people in this world. he imagined that on one end of the long line of groups of people was himself, and on the whole other side that contained the milky way between it, was the group of people his father belong in.

his father and him had nothing in common.

jay didn't even think they looked the same.

his father worked a lot. he worked from home, he worked at his main office in the middle of seoul and he worked abroad to wherever his company would send him that week. it took his father a lot longer than his mother to realize just how much park jongsung had changed from their 'well behaved boy' that they 'raised so well'.

jay's father went to the united states during the summer that jay had started hanging out with heeseung. when his father walked through his houses' door to greet his family, he felt his stomach sink when he saw his son decked out in all black, raggy clothes and silver jewlery hanging from his neck and ears.

"who the hell is that?" jay remembers his dad speaking out as he stared him down, unable to recognize his 'good' son that he had seen two months ago.

jay smirked to himself as he watched the shock expression on his dad's face once his mother scolded him for asking such a ridiculous question.

after that day, jay had tried to make that shocked expression on his dad's face at any chance he could get. which was apparently more difficult than expected.

when jay started his second year in high school, he had gotten four tattoos on his left arm over night from heeseung's older brother: a cartoon sheet ghost, a smiley face with the eyes as x's, a shitty snake that took heeseung maybe three seconds to draw, and a peach that his mother absoutley hated the most.

his mother screeched when he walked in the next morning with black ink and red skin, repeatidly asking him what had he done. jay was laughing as his mother took him over to the kitchen sink and started to scrub at his skin with a sponge. disgust was written on her face as she realized the black drawings were really not coming off.

jay and his mother sat in silence that night, waiting for his father to come home from work and see his 'new decision' as his mother called it.

his father walked in and sighed as he saw the two of them sitting in silence from across the table to each other. "what happened?"

jay stuck out his arm so his father could see the four little drawings on his skin. jay remembers thinking to hold back his laugh once the shocked expression appears on his dad's face.

but the expression never came.

"hm." his father nodded shortly, his lips pulled into a tight, thin line.

"they're permanent." his mother spoke out, she was even surprised at his calm reaction.

"yes, i assumed so." his father walked away from jay's dangling arm, "what's for dinner?" he asked his wife, leaving jay and his mother with the expression he wished his dad would've had.

in his third year of high school, jay still hadn't given up on shocking his dad so, he went over to heeseung's with a bag of (possible) hair bleach that he picked up at the store. he really didn't know if he had picked up the right stuff. but the person on the cover of the box had blonde hair and there was progression pictures of black hair turning blonde on the back, so he bought it.

within six hours (which really took longer than he had expected) he had bright pink hair from the left over hair dye sunoo had let him have.

"bro, what the fuck have you done?" jake asked amused as he stood beside jay in the mirror, running over to heeseung's house when they told him he needed to come over immediately.

"do you like it?" jay asked, raising his eyebrows up and down teasingly.

"absoutely not." jake laughed, causing him to be pushed into the bathroom counter by jay.

"i think it looks punk." heeseung came into his bathroom suddenly, freshly dyed dark green hair causing jake to stop laughing.

"what the hell," jake stood up straight, "did everyone dye their hair?"

"eh, pretty much." sunghoon said, popping his head in so jake could see his silver hair.

"doesn't he look cool?" sunoo's cresent eyes popped in after, his fingers twirling sunghoon's hair which he had spent all day on.

"what the hell." jake's jaw dropped, looking at all of his friends' hair.

"it was sunoo's salon day!" heeseung smiled, playing with his new hair in the bathroom mirror still. "he did all of our hair."

"even jungwon's and riki's?" jake asked, a pout on his face suddenly.

"nah, i'm doing their's tomorrow, i already spent all day on these three's hair." sunoo replied, still playing around with sunghoon's hair, trying to style it for him.

"i see," jake nodded, turning around to look at his own plain, black hair in the mirror, "can you do mine tomorrow, too?"

"of course!" sunoo smiled at his older friend.

so on the monday after sunoo's salon weekend, everyone at your high school was shocked as their whole friendgroup showed up with different colours of hair that seemed to not match them, yet matched them at the same time. they all held back their smiles as they caught everyone's shocked expressions.

it seemed that everyone was shocked about jay's hair- his mother even screamed when he came in the door with it- except for his father who only stole a glance at it before returning back to his 'important' paper work.

so, when the principal informed his parents that he wouldn't be able to graduate if he kept the grades he had at the moment, he stole a glance at his father- thinking that maybe then his father would hold the shocked expression he only saw once before.

but nothing.

just the same serious- almost bored - expression that he always wore.

"so what can we do?" your mother asked the principal, hoping that there was something that could be done for her son.

so the idea of park jay getting a tutor for the rest of the year was brought up, jay groaned while his mother sighed out of relief and his father remained with the same expresssion he always adorned.

when you looked up at jay from the ridiculously big text book, he thought to himself that he must've looked less like his father more than ever before with the shocked expression on his face.

he had honestly expected his tutor to be some annoying, nerd guy that would piss him off to the extent of him grabbing the guy's calculator and throwing it at his face. so he had smoked a lot before he needed to be at his 'important' tutor session.

he had smoked so much that he had thought he was literally seeing things when he met your eyes and realized just who it was that would be tutoring him. sure, his vision was kind of out of whack from the amount of weed him and heeseung had just shared in the parking lot but he didn't think he was that high that he'd see a different face on a different body.

"uh, hi?" you spoke up at him, those innocent eyes that he's seen up close only once before bore into him and he realized that maybe smoking before his tutoring session was a mistake- and he's never regret getting high before.

"hi." jay forced himself to say, his brain beating himself up after hearing it sound so robotic.

so it took you maybe two seconds of analyzing the park jay standing beside you to realize that he was in fact high. he was high while you were suppose to be tutoring him in your school library and the thought had made you very nervous.

sure you had smelt weed before while walking through the hallways at school sometimes. but you've never seen it- or seen any drugs in fact before. you've never been high or drunk before or even been around anyone that's been high or drunk before.

so now park jay is very high standing beside you and you wanted to run away incase a teacher comes by and sees him- taking you with him since you're suppose to be tutoring him.

"you're y/n?" jay asked you, surprisng even himself that he sounded normal now.

"yeah, i'm your tutor." you responded meekly, wantung to hit yourself with your introduction and with the way jay was now smirking down at you. you've spoken to park jay for mabe three sentences now and you're already sounding like the nerd everyone thinks you are.

you hear jay chuckle deeply before moving to sit down in the chair beside you. the smell of weed follows him and surrounds you as he sits. his bag swinging onto the table almost makes your eyes bulge out of your head when the weed smell intesifies and the thought of literal drugs being less than a meter away from you.

"um, do you want to start tutoring next tuesday instead?" you force yourself to smile at the all adorned black clothed boy, avoiding eye contact.

"why not today?" jay asks, seeing that you can barely look in his direction.

"w-well, there's only twenty five minutes left now and you're, um, you're...." you trail off, not wanting to embarrass yourself.

jay smirks at your quiet voice, thinking about how shy you truly are. "i'm what? say it."

"you're... high." you finish, your head looking straight down at your hands twiddling your fingers in your lap.

it's silent for a moment in between you and jay park and you're sure that you've offended him until he bursts out laughing. you turn your head to look at the laughing boy, unsure of what to do. if you weren't so nervous then you probably would be laughing too at the sight of pure enjoyment on his face as he swings his head back and laughs out into the library.

you see other students around turn and glare at the direction of noise, but ultimately turn around quietly when they see who's the loud person.

"w-what?" you ask him, a small smile on your lips.

jay stops laughing and looks at you intently. he thinks to himself that it's weird to see you this close up for this long of amount of time. it gives him time to take in your cute presence and to become aware of how odd you two must look sitting beside each other. you're wearing light colours and your hair is done so neatly while he's wearing all black and he can't remember the last time he's actually ever styled his hair. "have you ever been high before, y/n?"

your shoulders tense more at the volume of his voice, not believing that you're talking about being high with park jay in your school's library. "no." you squeak out embarrassingly. apparently embarrassing yourself in front of jay is the only thing you can do around him.

jay's not surprised at your answer, it's the only answer he was expecting. but it still doesn't get rid of the smirk that's on his face as he scans your rosy cheeks and red-from-biting plump lips. "do you wanna get high today?" you almost jump up from shock at his question, "with me?" he continues and then you almost faint. park jay just asked if you wanna get high with him.

"uh," you started out, not knowing how to answer him. luckily, he starts laughing again, allowing you to think of an answer.

"it's okay, y/n, i'm just kidding. i know a girl like you wouldn't get high with a guy like me." jay starts to put his binder into his bag as he gets ready to leave, letting you sit in silence for a momet trying to process his sentence.

"what does that mean?" you turn your head and look him dead in the eyes now, surprising him. the sudden confidence that he doesn't know if you're pretending to have or if you really have it and he's just a clueless idiot. all he knows is that the way your pretty eyes are staring into his is making his heart feel weird but maybe that's just from the weed.

"i mean, you're so good that it's like a halo is literally hovering above your head. and me," jay shakes his head as he swings his bag over his shoulder, "i don't think i've ever had a halo in my life."

you still sit as jay gets up and walks around you to leave, "do you want to have a halo?" you ask him, not being able to stop your curiousity.

jay almost laughs as he turns around and stares down at your innocent little figure once again. he puts his hand down on the table beside you, holding himself up as he leans down towards you, "i think it's too late for me to have a halo, y/n."

and then jay decides that you really do have a lot of confidence because the way you speak to him next is filled with so much power it makes him think that everything he's ever thought about you is wrong, "then come to your tutoring session next week on time and not high and we can see if it's too late or not."

jay stands up straight at your statement, his notorioius smirk spreading across his face as a smirk spreads across your own. "fine," he agrees, "i'll be on time next week and not high." he takes a few steps back still facing you.

"and not drunk either." you point out, making his smirk drop for a second before reappaearing again.

"okay, smartass. i'll see you next week." jay rolls his eyes with a teasing smile and walks out of the library- probably to heeseung's house where he and the rest of them can smoke some more.

you've been called smart countless of times before that it's gotten to the point where it means nothing to you. but you've never been called a smart ass. and it makes you almost laugh out loud to yourself because it's seemed to bring a whole new meaning of smart to you and you don't think anyone would've ever called you it besides park jay and it that just makes it even funnier to you.

so then, you and park jay spend the rest of the week excited for your next tutoring session.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

you only saw jay once during the week until your (hopefully) proper tutor session.

though, it's not like you were looking for him as you zoomed through the other students in the hallways as you walked to your other classes. seeun kept asking you about how tutoring park jay went but, you didn't exactly tell her that he showed up insanely high.

you loved yoon seeun. you really did.

but she was a snitch.

you knew that if you told her that park jay could barely see you last week- to the point where you could just feel him staring at you when you weren't looking- that she would tell your teacher. because although you were considered a 'goody two shoes' you weren't the kind to go into other peoples' business like seeun. but that was just her. she liked knowing drama about everyone and she cared so much about you that if she found out you were around jay while he was high- that she would do something to protect you.

because yoon seeun loved you. she really did.

so why would she want you to be around a literal delinquent like park jay?

"if he does anything to you y/n, seriously, you need to tell me, his sexual history is so long!" seeun warns you as she takes a bite into her sandwich.

you smile at her, "yes, seeun, i understand, but it's been fine. he sits and listens and i sit and tutor that's it." you lie through your teeth but you know it's for the best.

jay walks into the cafeteria with his other misfit friends, his head turning to the table where he's seen you and seeun sit before almost out instinct. so when you're there, your front faced towards the doors so he could see you. a pink headband in your hair to simply get your hair out of your face but makes jay think just how cute it looks on you.

"who're you looking at?" sunghoon asks from beside him as they all wait in the food line.

"what do you mean?" jay asks with his eyebrows furrowed at his silver haired friend.

"well i know jake is looking at park sieun," sunghoon points over his shoulder to where jake stood with hungry eyes as he stared directly as the popular girl, "so who are you looking at?"

"im sorry but sieun's just so HOT." jake almost says painfully as he turns around to enter the conversation with jay and sunghoon.

jay makes a sound of disgust as the words 'hot' and 'sieun' are put into the same sentence. "bro, shut up, you're gonna make me not hungry." jay jokes, turning around and looking at the shitty food options of the day.

"how do you not find her hot? sunghoon man," jake taps sunghoon's shoulder as a form of agreance, "you think sieun is hot, right?"

sunghoon shrugs in response, "she's okay."

"what?!" jake's eyes almost pop out of his head, "i think she's the hottest thing i've ever seen."

"bro i told you to shut up or i'm gonna be sick!" jay protests again, thoughts of the annoying girl popping into his head made his head hurt.

"i wanna know who jay thinks is hot." sunghoon nods towards him with a smirk on his face.

"i don't think anyone's hot." jay shakes his head, "at least not here."

"really? then who were you looking at?"

"what makes you think that just because i was looking in a certain direction that i think someone is hot?"

"because you don't look in any certain direction besides at us while you're here- you hate everyone here." sunghoon says with an obvious tone.

"ou," jake points at sunghoon as he agrees with his point, "jay does think someone is hot. who?" jake smiles evilly at his friend.

jay sighs, "she's over there in the corner." he tilts his head to the direction where you are sitting. instantly his two friends turn and are so obviously looking for someone that is almost embarrasses jay.

"the girl with the pink headband?" sunghoon asks, letting jay nod.

"bro she is so not your type and she would so not be into you." jake shakes his head in shock at you.

jay feels his fists clench at his sides, "yeah? and who'd you think she'd be into? a guy like you?" jay gestures to jake's chains dangling from his jeans and red and black hair. jake only rolls his eyes in response before looking over at you again.

"i agree that she's not your type. she's too cute and too pure." sunghoon nods, imagining that there's butterflies flying around you as you talk to your friend. for some reason sunghoon's comment really pisses jay off. he doesn't like the fact that other guys can see how truly cute and innocent you are.

"actually, she is kinda hot," jake speaks after further analyzing you, making jay snap his head towards his friend, "but in a 'i really want to ruin you' type way because you know she's never been touched before. god that's actually so ho-" jake's sudden fantasy gets cut off with jay storming off, pushing past his friends. "bro, what's wrong?" jake called after him.

"i told you that if you didn't shut up i wouldn't feel good!" jay yelled back, not caring that the other people in the cafeteria were looking at him as he slammed open the cafeteria doors. and he really didn't feel good. he didn't know what is was about jake talking so dirty about you that made him want to throw up. he's heard jake say dirtier things about other girls before and jay didn't even bat an eye at it. but since it was about you- it was different. and it was a type of different that made him feel sick.

sunghoon and jake looked at each other once their friend was out of sight, only smirking and shrugging before telling the lunch lady what they wanted to eat.

"does he always have to cause a scene?" seeun rolled her eyes as she turned back towards you, jay storming out caught the eyes of everyone else as well.

you frowned as you watched his combat boots hit the cafeteria floor and push the doors open with force so suddenly until he was gone. you wondered what had gotten the boy so angry so quick as you noticed his other friends still standing in the lunch line.

though you were curious about it, you didn't ask him what it was about the next day when he came into the library, smirking at you as soon as he opened the doors and started making his way towards the table you were sat at- five minutes early.

jay stood beside where you sat again, looking down at you, "hi y/n."

"hi, jay." it was awkward for a moment before he sat down, throwing his bag on the table again as he pulled out his school supplies. and this time, you didn't smell any weed and his eyes weren't bloodshot. there was no strong scent of liquor either.

when jay got his supplies ready, he sat and looked at you, an eyebrow quirked up at your suspicious expression as you looked at him.

"well." jay shook his head as if he was ready for something.

"well, what?" you asked confused.

jay sighed as he sat back in his chair, "aren't you gonna ask me if i'm high or drunk?"

you almost smiled at him, "jay, did you smoke or drink?"

"nope!" jay popped the 'p' sound as he really did smile at you.

"really?" you asked suspiciously at the delinquent boy.

"well," jay trailed off, making your heart sink for a second, "i smoked a cigarette but that was it!" jay almost laughed as he looked at your digusted face. "what?"

"i think it'd be better for your health if you did smoke weed." you rolled your eyes, pulling out your own textbook to prepare to tutor him.

"what does that mean? you were the one who was saying 'blah blah halo blah blah don't get high' last week." jay mimicked your voice.

"yeah but at least weed doesn't give you lung or tongue cancer." you stated the facts.

"i'm not gonna get lung or tongue cancer." jay mused, picking up his pencil as you passed him a piece of paper.

"you will if you keep smoking cigarettes."

"so you want me to start showing up to our tutor sessions high?"

"no, i-!"

"well then i'm gonna keep smoking cigarettes."

you huffed at him, taking a deep breath before looking at him, "turn to page 34, please." you gestured to his closed textbook.

jay smirked to himself when you weren't looking, knowing that you tutoring him wasn't going to be as bad as he thought.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

after three weeks of 'properly' tutoring park jay- you could tell that he was done with it. he was bored and he wasn't trying and he was making it really hard for you.

"jay, at least look at the paper." you grabbed his attention from his staring aimlessly at the wall.

"i can't." he groaned, sitting up and looking at you. "all you do is ask me questions that i don't know the answers to and i don't even care about the answers." you sighed as you put your pencil down beside his that he hasn't even touched.

"well, i think it'd be better if you did care, because you need to graduate this year, right?"

"it doesn't matter if i graduate or not."

"yes, it does, jay."

"and why does it matter?" jay leaned over his elbow to look at you. the look in his eyes making you look away from him. it had been four weeks that you had been tutoring jay and you still couldn't look at him in the eyes.

"w-well, because i-i thought you wanted to see if you could get a, um a halo." you speak quiekty, almost embarrassed by your choice of how to persuade this boy to study and pay attention.

"do you think i could ever get a halo?" jay asks you, and his tone is serious compared to all the other times he speaks to you in a flirty or teasing tone.

"yes." you nod sternly, glancing at him briefly before looking down at your lap again. jay smirks at how cute you are, too cute and too good for him. but the way that you think he could become good is so naive of you that not even himself believes it. there's no way he could become as good as you. even his parents have no faith. he thinks that if he asks his parents if he could ever get a halo they would laugh in his face- but you sound so sure he could that it makes him want to believe you.

"have you heard anything about me, y/n?" jay sits back in his chair with his smirk, "because if you have then i don't think you'd think that."

"yeah, i've heard a few things." you nod quietly, thinking back to everything that seeun has told you in the past.

"like what?" jay asks in the teasing tone that you've become used to.

"that- that," you sit up in your chair as you prepare to speak, "you party a lot, and you do drugs and drink and y-you..."

"i what?"

"you have sex a lot."

jay feels his cock twitch as you say the word. it doesn't sound right as it comes out of your mouth but you turn him on at the same time. your sentence is also a painful reminder that he really would be no good for you.

"hm." jay hums as you feel heat on your cheeks, wondering if you had offended him now. "can i tell you what i've heard about you?"

"sure." your heart picks up it's pace, anxious to know what others say about you. anxious to know what park jay thinks about you.

"i've heard that you're some sort of genius, and that you don't go to parties-ever- and that you're an innocent, little, goody-two-shoes."

you weren't surprised at jay's statement but you were throughly upset that you knew that jay knew that you were something close to a loser. it upset you but you had no idea as to why. why should you care that you're an innocent loser and jay is so popular and hot. oh.

"im guessing by that look on your face that everything i heard is true." jay broke your train of thought. you could only glance at him briefly before returning to your textbook, unsure of what to say to get him to think you weren't some loser. "how about you come to a party this weekend?"

your jaw drops as you look up at him, "n-no, i can't."

"and why not? you're the one who seemed so upset when i told you what people are saying about you."

"well, because i can't! i may not like what people say about me, but i can't do anything about it."

"sure you can, come to a party this weekend with me."

you quirk an eyebrow up at his suggestion, "with you?" jay nods with a smirk. "don't you have a test on monday that you need to study for?" jay's smirk drops.

"yeah, so?"

"so you should study for it if you want to graduate this year."

jay rolls his eyes and sits back into his chair, "how about this, i won't go to the party friday night if you come over instead."

you felt the wind knock out of you chest, "and why would i come to your house?"

jay's stupid smirk returns to his face at your red cheeks, "so we could study, obviously."

"i- jay. you should be able to study on your own."

"then what's the point of having a cute tutor?"

there was a silence between you as you both processed jay's question. there was just no way that park jay just called you cute. and jay was preparing punch himself with the way he so carelessly told you what he's been thinking about you for years. it felt like both of you were dreaming.

jay opened his mouth about to apologize for making you feel uncomfortable until you spoke first, "fine, i'll come to your house, but to study. and to only study." you gave the dressed-in-all-black boy a serious look as he tried to hold back the small smile creeping onto his face.

"of course, what else would we do?" jay sat back in his chair again, never trying so hard to be cool in his entire life before.

you rolled your eyes at the boy before shoving another study assignemnt towards him, making a groan leave his mouth.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

park jay texting you his address on a random saturday afternoon was something you never thought would happen.

but walking up to a gigantic mansion that park jay apparently lived in was a dream.

the house was so pretty that it really made you feel like you didn't even deserve to set a foot on the property. but you forced yourself up the pretty porch stairs and knocked on the pretty door. you weren't really shocked when a pretty woman opened the door- expecting someone as pretty as her to own a house as pretty as this one.

"hi there, you must be jay's tutor." she smiled with a tilt of her head as she looked you up and down.

"mom!" you heard a familiar voice groan from behind her.

"oh sorry," the woman- jay's mom-, turned and let you come, "i guess im not used to jay having a tutor i-"

"mom!" jay groaned again, making his mom laugh as she closed the door behind you.

you turned and looked at where jay stood on the bottom step of a staircase that twirled around upwards towards the second floor. his upper half looked like how it usually did. an oversized black, band tshirt and silver jewlery adorning his neck and ears. but you were taken aback by the grey sweatpants he wore. sure it was a casual thing to wear- but jay usually stuck to a strick black jeans or black ripped jeans attire at school.

"sorry!" you heard his mother laugh out from beside you as you tried to peal your eyes away from jay's so casuasl yet so jay chose of clothing. "i'm miyoung, jay's mother. and you're y/n, right?" jay's mothers smile was so intimidatingly pretty that you couldn't help but smile back. you've known this woman for a minute and you could already tell just how different she was from jay.

"yes, nice to meet you." you bowed politely to the older woman. she bowed back to you, offering to take your jacket for you before letting jay basically usher you away upstairs.

miyoung wouldn't be overxaggerating when she said she was nervous for a girl like you to be alone with a boy like her son. even she could tell that you were just too good to be around a boy as, and as much as she hated to say it, as bad as jay.

"i'm sorry about that." jay said as you followed him through a long, white hallway that had family portraits hung on the walls, along with what seemed to be very expensive paintings. there were doors that led to all different kinds of rooms and two other hallways besides the one that jay led you down on the second floor.

"about what?"

"about, you know, my mom." jay rolled his eyes as he turned to you, opening a door on the left side of the hallway for you to enter.

you chuckled at his answer, "it's fine, she's so sweet." you looked at him as you passed him to enter the room first. and you were nervous before you even arrived at jay's house, but you were even more nervous once you realized that you were in his bedroom.

"yeah, well she can a lot sometimes." you heard jay speak from behind you as he entered himself after you.

you stood in the entrancewya of him room as he moved around you and towards a desk that looked barely used, only having a textbook on top of it. the rest of his room looked like a normal teenager boy room: a slightly messy made bed with grey duvet and black headboard. there were some shelves with some pictures and trophies on them, and a simple black tv across the wall from the bed.

"you can sit on my bed if you want." jay spoke to. you, sitting down in his desk chair. you nod to him and move to sit on his bed, facing him at his desk that's in front of you. he almost laughs with the way you're sitting so awkwardly on his bed. "should we just start?"

"uh, sure." you nod, pulling out your own textbook from you bag.

"y/n," jay calls your name, making you halt your actions and look over at him, "if you're gonna be this awkward the entire time then you don't have to stay if you don't want to."

"i-i'm not being awkward." you stutter, trying to prove a point that doesn't exist.

jay scoffs, "it's okay. i guess we don't know each other that well and you're sitting on my bed so." jay points at the mattress under you, making you try to not shift awkwardly on it as you couldn't stop thinking about it as well.

"w-well, how about we get to know each other." your boldness shocks the both of you in his boyish bedroom.

"y/l/n y/n wants to get to know me?" jay smirks as he leans over his textbook to look at you.

"well, it's just so we can study, and you can graduate." jay sighs at your answer, it's so obvious that thats the only reason he's got you on his bed and it will remain the only reason.

"right, what do you want to know?"

"mm," you wonder outloud, looking around his room before settling on the obvious, "what do your parents do for work?"

jay smirks at your question, "my dad is some big time ceo for some travel agency and my mom's a teacher." oh, that explains the big house. "how long have you been going to our high school."

his question makes you laugh outloud, making him smile at the sound of your laugh. he's never heard you laugh like this since you've been tutoring him for past month and a half.

"i've been going there since the first day of freshman year." you shake your head at him, his question just proving that you really live up to your apparent reptuation.

"oh," jay nodded, "i remember seeing you in year 10. i just never saw you in year 9, i like never went that year."

"you saw me in year 10?" you ask him, your heart racing at his words.

"yeah, that time i stood on your essay because you bumped into me."

"you remember that?" you ask with a smile on your face, surprised that he would remember such a small encounter.

"yeah! i was high out of my mind but that was the first time i saw you so, like of course i'd remember." his words make you look away from him, you bite your lip in order to hide your smile and blushing cheeks.

you glance over at his busy shelves that hold pictures from when he was younger, to pictures of his friends and to trophies that look like they haven't been touched in years and you asked him more questions about his life, and you would struggle with answers for his.

"why don't you answer straightforwardly." jay spun around slightly in his chair, a smile through his frustration.

"i'm sorry!" you laughed at him, "i just, i find it hard to open up i guess." jay nods at your answer, "especially to guys who i'm suppose to be tutoring."

"hey!" jay called out, "i mean, we don't have to study, we could-"

"we're studying!" you interrupted him, picking his textbook off of his carpeted floor and tossing it gently into his lap. "page 234."

jay sighed, but opened his textbook, telling himself to get through this afternoon with his head in his book.

and jay really did study. it was the most you've ever seen him interact with his textbook and pencil. he'd ask you questions if he didn't understand. he took his time answering the questions and really thinking of the answers. you figured that it was probably because he was home where he felt like he could be himself. there weren't a thousand kids all staring at him like he was some crazed criminal that would turn on them in a second. he wasn't surrounded with people he hated.

he was with you, who looked too pure to be sitting on his grey duvet, and his mother was humming a song downstairs that was barely audible, but when it got silent as he worked on a question you'd be able to hear it. even with the words he was struggling to put together and his mother's humming he found it hard to ignore the fact that your pretty thighs were exposed to him on his bed. the way they contrasted with his old duvet didn't make sense to him and he figured next time you'd come he'd get his mother to put a new, nicer one on that suited you more.

your parents started to text you to come home around dinner time, the two of you feeling proud of how much jay had actually studied and learnt that day. as he walked you down to the front door of his house, his chest was filled with a tightness he's never felt before. and you waved to his mom as you started to go down his pretty porch steps from his pretty house.

"y/n." jay called out to you from his doorway.

"yeah?"

"nothing." jay shrugged suddenly finding words to say was hard.

you smiled sweetly at him, "good luck on your test, jay."

jay only smiled back at you, before stepping back into his house and closing the door, your figure disappearing from his sight.

"she seems like a good girl." he hears his mother say from behind him.

"yeah, because she is." jay nods, too good. and it makes him think that even though he's seemingly understanding how math works now, it makes him think that if he gets too good at math that he won't be able to see you anymore. because there will be no way in hell a good girl like you would hang out with a boy like him.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

the next tuesday tutor session between you and jay started when he slammed down his test in front o fyou on the table.

the loud bang disturbed every other student in the library but jay of course didn't seem to care as you looked up at him and he held the greatest smirk you had ever seen him wear.

"seventy.nine.percent." is he all he said to you as he looked down into your eyes.

"seventy nine?" you yelled out, disturbing others, but unlike jay you did care, mumbling a sorry to the other students who gave you dirty looks and whispered to jay for him to sit down. "seventy nine?" you whisper shouted to him, excited that he maybe was failing that much anymore.

"seventy nine!" jay said nodded, that stupid smirk on his face still.

and then you saw it.

the piece of metal that was now wrapped around jay's bottom lip.

the cool silver of the ring securly clung to his rosy, plump lip.

"uh, g-good job." you muttered out, trying to congratulate him on his high mark but too distracted by the new jewlery that he adorned.

"thanks." he smiled at the way you couldn't stop staring at his lips. "is there anything you want to ask me?" jay teased you, pouting out his bottom lip, rebuting your inner thought of it being a fake piercing.

"yeah uh, when did you get that?" you asked him, touching your own bottom lip as to where his was on his own lips.

"yesterday." jay shrugged, his tongue running over the metal, making your eyes follow it.

"what made you decide to get it?" you asked curiously, your mind just racing with thoughts and questions about it.

"my mom said she'd disown me if i got anymore piercings." jay shrugged, pulling out his textbook casually.

"so, you went and got it pierced?"

"yeah."

you couldn't believe him as you continued to watch him act like it was a normal day occurence. and you couldn't help but think about how well the piercing suited him. it tied in his whole appearance and made butterflies grow in your stomach.

"do you like it?" jay asked you, noticing the way that you couldn't stop staring at his new piercing, a smirk growing on his lips at your glazed eyes.

you felt the blush that never seemed to leave your cheeks when you're with jay arise onto your face, "yeah, it's nice."

"it's nice?"jay teased you, leaning over the table to look straight into your eyes, a chuckle leaving his mouth once he sees that you can't meet his gaze.

"it- it suits you."

jay smirks at your cute remark and sits back in his chair, absentmindley twirling his pencil as he waits for you to get ready to tutor him. "you know," he starts suddenly, just as you're about to give him an assignemnt, "since i didn't go to a party last weekend, you should come to a party with me this weekend."

you sigh at the mention of a high school party because you've already heard so much about them- especially about the ones that jay and his friends go to. "i've already told you that i don't go to parties."

"but why," jay groaned, "you're the one that was upset about your reputaiton, so how about you change it this weekend?"

the mention of your reputation made you body tense, remembering that that probably still is what jay thinks about you. "i- i just can't go."

jay huffs and crosses his arms, his chest popping out as he still leans back in his chair, his legs straight out under the table and bumping into your own. "how about you come over again this weekend, to study more."

"what? you don't have a test for another two weeks why would i need to come over this weekend?" you asked him with genuine confusion.

jay only sighs at how oblivious you are to his flirting before sitting up, "because i learn a lot from you, obviousily," he points at his test, "and you're fun to hang out around, i guess."

his statement makes you stop flipping through your textbook as you slowly look up at him, glancing at his damn lip piercing before meeting his eyes, "how am i fun?" all you ever do with him is ignore his stupid remarks and talk about school.

"you're fun to tease."

your jaw dropped as you tried to hide your smile, "i'm fun. to tease?"

"yeah, so you should come over again this weekend, so you can tutor me and i can tease you."

you scoffed, looking away from him in disbelief but amusement, "fine."

"fine?" jay genuinely smiled at you.

"yes. fine." you grinned, "now please, try questions 1 to 5."

jay let out a groan that made other students look at your table again, only this time you could care less about their angry stares as thoughts of park jay went through your mind.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jay waking up ten minutes before you were suppose to arrive is defintely not what had planned on saturday.

especially the part with him still feeling high from going to a party last night with heeseung.

jay scrambled around his room, trying to find a better shirt to wear instead of the one he wore last night that currently smelt like shitty alcohol and sweat. all he could think about was how fucked he'd be if you came in and saw him like this.

jay knew how uncomfortable you got when you were around someone that wasn't completely sober- and he couldn't imagine how'd you feel being in someone else's house with them still high from the night before.

"fuck, fuck, fuck." jay mumbled to himself as he quickly rinsed his face with water. looking in the mirror, he didn't think he looked too fucked but maybe he was just too used to seeing himself like this.

and he hated that.

last night was the first party that he had went to where he didn't thorouly enjoy himself. sure, he had fun because heeseung was there and the music wasn't bad. but it seemed like the drugs and alcohol couldn't distract his mind anymore. so kept drinking, and he kept smoking and the next thing he knew he was waking up in a jolt because you'd be at his house in a matter of minutes.

heeseung could tell that his friend wasn't his usual self the night before. he knew that jay liked to be intoxicated- but he could even tell that he was over doing it. girls would come up to them, only for them to be shrugged off by jay. heeseung was shocked by it. he knew that jay hated mostly everyone, but he never shrugged girls, no matter how annoying they were.

before heeseung could ask his friend was wrong, jay was alrready lost with the drugs and music, dancing in the middle of the party and fitting in with everyone else. heeseung almost laughed at thought that if jay could see himself right now- he'd hate it.

so now, jay felt rugged and tired as he couldn't help but let his mind wander about the events of last night and what was wrong with him. he just wants to be good for you.

the knock at his front door really pushed his mind back into the present.

"oh hi, y/n!" his mother spoke from downstairs, "i don't know if jay's awake."

"oh, uh, i can come back then." you spoke out sheepishly, about to back out of the pretty house.

"i'm awake!" a quick voice spoke from the bottom of the stairs again. jay stood in grey sweatpants again, and a white and black shirt, his hair looking as if he had ran his fingers through it a million times.

"oh! hi, honey. i didn't hear you up." miyoung said, moving to the side to let you come in.

"yeah, i've been quiet, i guess." miyoung perked an eyebrow up at him, knowing that he's lying through his teeth. she had heard jay come home at 4am last night, stumbling to his room before probably passing out. "let's go to my room, y/n." you smiled up at him at his position on the stairs, bowing to miyoung before following jay up into his room.

his room looked the same as it did the weekend before. but the curtains weren't drawn and his bed was messier. "sorry about the mess." jay said, realizing you were scanning his room. he quickly shoved some clothes that were lying on the floor into his closet before shutting the door to it.

"it's okay." you smiled, sitting down at his desk this time. you put your backpack on the ground beside your feet, watching as jay opened his curtains before sitting on his bed. jay seemed quieter today then he's ever been when he's around you. he looked almost out of it as he started taking his textbooks out of his own bag. "sorry, if you were sleeping before i came."

"no, it's okay!" jay said, waving his hand in the air, "i wasn't sleeping." you nodded your head, feeling almost awkward as you sat across from each other. "do you want to start with biology?"

"sure." you chirped too excitdly, trying to mask your awkwardness. you weren't sure why you were feeling this way. it just seemed like jay wasn't prepared for your arrival and it made feel like you weren't wanted there.

"what page was the biochemistry on again?"

"481." you heard jay start turning the pages of his textbook as you got your papers out and ready. "i can't find it."

"no? 481?" you restated, looking at your own textbook. "let me see." you got up and walked over to his spot on the bed, leaning over his shoulder slightly, trying to find the right page for him. you felt jay straighten his back at your presence, making you more awkward as your eyes skimmed the pages quickly.

jay thought he was going to die with your face so close to his. he didn't want you to smell weed on him. your hair was dangling over your own shoulder, letting him see the side of your face as you focused on helping him. he could see you were chewing on the inside of your cheek, a habit that he's picked up on quite quickly.

"here." you pointed at a highlighted part on his textbook, "sorry, you have a different edition of textbook than me so the pages are kind of off." you nodded to him, moving away from him to go back to your chiar.

"shouldn't we share mine then, so we don't get confused." jay smirked at you standing above him. you rolled your eyes at him with a smile. "it'd be easier."

you agreed and sat down beside him on his bed, he sat with his legs crossed under his textbook while your legs dangled off the side. you made sure your skirt was covering your thighs as you tutored the boy.

you thanked god that jay was pretty easy to teach. he was funny and he flirted with you majority of the times, but still he knew when he had to listen and actuallly seemed interested in learning sometimes. you think it was the first time that you ever had fun while tutoring someone.

jay thought that it would be over for him once he was forced to go to a tutor. he really thought that he would never graduate hell high school because why the hell would he want someone to tutor him. but since it's you thats the tutor, he really gave it a try.

it's not like jay was stupid. he just didn't see a point in listening to teachers or even going to school. he guesses that school work is actually pretty easy for him because you're the one that's teaching him.

he finds it so easy to listen to you. the way you actually take your time with him to see if he understands everything. you're so caring in general about everything and everyone in your life that it makes him jealous.

with your appearance, he can tell how much thought you put in to it- and he's selfish enough to think that sometimes you dress yourself with the thought of him in your mind. he's sure that you've noticed how many times he's stared at your legs in skirts during the past month.

so now jay has the thought of your bare legs against his bed and he can't stop himself from staring at your soft skin and the way your thighs would feel against the palm of his hands and how delicate he'd have to be with them so they don't bruise.

"jay?"

"hm?" he replies to you, not even hiding the fact that he was staring at your legs. he caught the way that you were trying to hide your blush as you realized where he was staring as well.

"i asked if you wanted to take a break, you don't seem to be paying much attention anymore."

"yeah, a break sounds good." jay nods, closing his textbook and throwing it to the bottom of his bed.

jay's hand comes to lay beside him so it's inbetween you and him. his pinky finger brushing against the lower part of your thigh were your skirt as ridden up. its silent for a moment, both of you aware of the small touch lingering with the two of you, but both of you can't find yourselves to care.

his finger slowly brushes up and down, it being the only movement in the room besides your chest moving frantcally from your heavy breaths. jay assumes that you've most likely never been on a bed with a guy before (and he's right!) and he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable and the weed from the night before is probably not helping him make decisions. so he moves his hand farther up so it's resting on your thigh.

his movement makes both of you turn yours heads to look at eachother, the warmth from eachothers bodies growing substantially.

"do you like tutoring me?" jay asks, a smirk on his face as he scans your own.

"mhm," you almost whisper with a nod, "you're easy to teach."

jay smiles at your innocent answer, "can i tutor you now?"

your eyebrows scrunch in confusion, "tutor me about what?"

jay hums in thought for a moment, re thinking all of his life choices that have brought him here as his fingers lightly trace figures on your skin. it's just as soft as he imagined and he feels himself becoming entranced by it. "well you've taught me how to be a good student," jay and you pause to smile at each other in agreement, "how about i teach you how to be bad now?"

you pause at his words, excitemnet filling your lungs as you look down at his still freshly pierced lip ring. his eyes hold the mischief that they usually do, but they're mixed with something like genuine concern and care. his gaze mixed with that god forbid hot lip ring is what makes you nod your head until jay is reaching over to your neck and trailing soft kisses down it.

"you're okay with this, right?" jay whispers to you, looking straight into your eyes as he pulls away.

"yes." is all you can speak, still not over the feeling of his warm lips and cold metal pushed against your neck. his lips begin to kiss over your shoulder before he pulls away again.

"and you'll tell me if you want me to stop? because i will."

his words make your stomach flip as you never thought bad boy park jay could be so caring. "yes, jay."

jay pulls away and smiles at you one more time before ushering you to lay down with him, your head meeting his soft pillow. jay was laying on his side, lips still kissing your neck as his fingers played with the hem of your skirt. and jay thinks to himself that he's never been so careful before in his life. he was acting as if you were made out of glass.

"has anyone ever touched you before, y/n?" jay asks, kissing your jaw once before pulling away to look at you.

"no." you nod, somewhat embarrassed at your confession, even though you assumed jay had already knew the answer to it.

"just me?" jay asks, a smirk on his face.

"just you."

you feel jay smile against your skin before his fingers started to softly touch yoru core over your panties, your skirt being pulled up over your stomach. your cotton, pastel panties in yours and jay's sight. you feel like you should be embarrassed about your underwear choice- espeically in a time like this- but jay moving slow circles over your clit takes the embarrasment away from you.

jay could feel your wetness through your panties, almost groaning at the thought of how wet you'd feel around his cock. you bit your lip to suppress the moan you already had as you watched his index finger circle directly over your clit. you had thought about jay for so long in this position and you never thought that it would happen.

jay's finger stopped and his hand started playing with the hem of your skirt as he kissed your neck again once. "you're so sensitive." jay breathlessly laughed into your skin. you covered your face at his statement, really feeling embarrassed now. "stop," jay laughed loud now, pulling your hands away. "it's cute," he pecked your jaw, "you're cute."

"you're too nice to be considered so bad." you spoke out to him, the throbbing in your core making your mind hazy.

"only for you." jay confessed, his fingers going back to play with the hem of your panties.

"just for me?" you mocked his words from before.

"just for you."

his fingers dipped into your panties now. jay almost moaned at how easily his fingers slipped between your folds. he heard your rought breath in his ear as he started to rub your engorged clit again, his finger presssing the right amount of pressure on it already.

"so wet." jay whispered to you, both of you looking down at his hand in yoru pants. he put his middle finger with his index finger as he made faster circles on your clit, your hips jolting up at his change in pace.

you could hear your wetness mix with jay's fingers as he rubbed you, spreading your juices around your core and in between your thighs. you let out a soft moan, biting onto the back of your hand to keep quiet so miyoung doesn't hear. god what if miyoung hears?

the thought only turns you on more even though you feel like it shouldn't. you were really, finally, letting go of that good girl persona you had on. you couldn't decide if it was good that you began to tutor jay or not as his index finger slipped slowly inside your core.

you let out a whimper at the feeling, never feeling it before. "does it feel okay?" jay asked, seeing you nod as he curled his finger upwards towards your belly button. "god, you're so tight." you could only nod as you could feel how tight you wrapped around his finger. he could barely push his index in and out slowly. "can't imagine how tight you'd feel around my cock." he feels you clench around his fingers tighter at his words. "do you like the thought of my cock inside of you?" you whimpered out in response to him, imagining the scenario in your head.

"say it."

"y-yes, i love it!" you moaned out, your arm bending so that your hand could play with jay's hair. you could feel jay smirk against your skin again before pulling his fingers away from. you whined out at the stop of his motions before he put his fingers in his mouth, humming around them.

"'m sorry, but i really needed to taste you. been thinking 'bout it for so long." you felt your hips jolt up at his thoughts out of instinct, just thoughts of how hot this boy is was driving you crazy. he stuck the same two fingers out in front of your mouth, "spit." you pursed your lips and let your saliva drip down onto his fingers, earning a groan from him before he started rubbing your clit again with his and yours salivia mixed together.

"j-jay." he hummed against your skin in response, "feels t-too goo-d."

"gonna cum?" he asked you, kissing your cheek, an action so sweet compared to the speed he was rubbing your clit at.

"y-yes." you nodded up at him as he hovered above you on his shoulder. your fucked out gaze drove him crazy as he looked down at you.

"that's okay, angel, cum on my fingers." he whispered to you, his head leaning on yours now as you both watched his fingers rub against your clit under your panties. you moaned out, your hand gripping onto his hair tighter.

"jay!" you moaned out, your back arching as you hit your orgasm, his fingers not stopping as you rode it out. you felt your eyes close and open, leaning your head into jay's as some form of support.

"that's it, that's my angel, that's my good girl." jay whispered, kissing your forehead as his fingers slowed down. you whined as the sensitivity started to catch up on you, pushing hhis fingers away gently, making jay laugh. "can't do another one?"

"god, no." you smiled at his teasing expression. jay wiped his hands on his duvet (the one that he hated) and pulled your skirt back down so you were covered. "you still think i'm a good girl?" you asked him, turning on your side so you were facing him.

jay pulled away with a hum, looking above your head in the air, "yep, i still see the halo above your head."

you shoved hisd shoulder gently, "shut up."

"do you see my halo?"

you looked above his head at his question, "nope, just devil horns." jay shoved you back with a laugh, rolling so he layed on his back now.

"are you going to stay for dinner?" jay asked, the thought of his stomach being completely empty filling his mind.

"oh god." you sat up immediately at the mention of dinner, grabbing yoru phone off of his bed side table. "god, i have to go!" you exclaimed, realizing just how close to your dinner time it was and that your parents had probably already expected you home by now.

"what?" jay sat up on his elbwos, wathching you scramble around his room like he did earlier this morining, gathering yoru things in a hurry. "why?"

"my parents wanted me home like ten minutes ago for dinner." you said, barely looking at him as you shoved your things in your bag.

jay chuckled at your explaination before laying back down again, "yeah, you most defiently are still a good girl."

"shut it." were the last words you said to him with a laugh before pulling open his bedroom door and leaving his house, saying bye to miyoung before running home to your parents who were already sat at the dinner table waiting for you.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

park jay plops down in his usual spot in the library, wearing a bigger smirk than usual on tuesday afternoon.

"hi, jay." you looked up at him from your book.

"hi, good girl." you rolled your eyes at him and set your book down in front of you. "how was dinner with your parents on saturday?"

"fine." you shook your head in an obvioius tone. when he didn't say anything in return you stasred him; his eyes were glazed over, his usual tense shoulders were fallen slack and the lazy smirk never left his face as he stared almost blankly at you. "are you high?"

the smirk left his face then.

"a little- and i'm sorry! i am! i didn't mean to get this fucked."

you sat back in your chair, distancing yourself from him the more you could, making jay feel even more guilty. "i thought you said you were going to try to not get high anymore."

"i was!" he most defintely wasn't. "but then i hadn't seen heeseung in a couple of days and he has a spare at uni right now so he drove by to see me!" he explained to you, the look of annoyance not leaving your face, "you're goody-two-shoes reputation won't be ruined because i'm high, y/n."

you scoffed, "yeah, well yours won't get any better. what happened to wanting a halo?"

jay bit his cheek, feeling guilty that he couldn't live up to your expectations of him. "i'm sorry. i won't get high anymore." you quirked your eyebrow up at him in disbelief, "i won't!" he laughed, nudging your foot with his own.

you couldn't help but smile and give in to him, unaware about just how dangerous it was to do.

"if you really don't want to tutor me today because i'm high that's fine, i'll see you saturday anyways right?"

"saturday?" you repeated with confusion.

"yeah, you tutor me every tuesday and saturday, right?"

you sighed at his teasing, "i guess." your answer made laugh before he stood up, nudging your book towards you again, "get back to reading, good girl."

you picked up your book, sticking your tongue out at him as swung his backpack over his shoulder to leave, "see you saturday."

"bye." you said to him, watching him leave the library without sparing a glance to anyone.

so that's how you ended up going to jay's house every saturday, seeing the boy more often that what you had expected when you had agreed to tutor him. texting each other during the week was something you had never even thought would occur. but you were having fun, even if seeun had no idea what was going on.

you had thought long and hard about whether you should tell seeun about your blooming friendship with park jay. ultimatelty, you came up with the idea that you'd rather be dead than tell her. you knew she wouldn't accept it with all the warnings she had given you in the past four years you had known her- even last week she was telling you to be careful. maybe you should've listened to her.

but it was so hard to listen to her when park jay was staring at you with those pretty brown eyes of his from his bed.

"focus on the assignment, jay!" you scolded him playfully, catching him staring at you again.

"well stop being so fucking pretty and i might be able to!"

no matter how many times jay flirts with you, the blush never seems to escape your cheeks, "stop." you laughed, standing up from your chair and walking over to him, shoving his shoulder so he layed down on his bed. you sit down on his bed, looking down at him.

jay's hand reaches out and plays with your hand lazily, lacing his fingers in and out of your own. you felt your heart swell at his little touches.

suddenly, jay grabs your hand and pulls you down towards him, so your faces are an inch apart and your upper half is laying on top of him. "jay!" you cry at the suddeness before he's pressing his lips to yours.

you quickly realize what he's doing and start to press your lips back to his, slowly your lips move together before you're pulling apart just as fast as they came together. "you taste like cigarettes." you scrunch your eyebrows together.

jay pulls his head back and laughs out, "i told you i'd stop smoking weed, not tobacco."

you pout up at him, your chin resting on his chest as he looks down at you. his hand comes up behind you and starts to play with your hair. "don't give me that face, i'm trying, i want to swtich reputations with you."

"you want to switch?" you ask, quircking your eyebrow up in amusement.

"yeah, like you become bad and i become good."

you roll your eyes at him, "that's stupid."

"i know, but i like seeing how bad you can be."

"and how bad do you think i can be?" you teased him, fluttering your eyelashes at him.

"let's find out." jay says, flipping you over so now he's on top of you, your hair spirling out across his pillow.

his lips come crashing down on yours, the movement so rough and sudden compared to his soft lips. the metal from his lip piercing felt so good against your lips that it reminded you about who exactly you were kissing.

jay started to move down your neck, kissing right behind your ear where he found your sweet spot. his hands stay perched on your waist as your legs wrap around his body, locking him in. your skirt has pooled up at your waist, leaving your panty core bare to his jean clad crotch.

your hips grinded up against jay's crotch, making him groan against your warm skin. he pulled away from your neck, his fingers playing with the hem of your panties like he did last time. "can i take these off, angel?"

"please." you begged him, wanting to feel more of him.

"so polite." he smirked down at you, kissing your forehead before pulling down your panties. your legs wanted to close at the sudden touch of cold air, but jay's broad shoulders kept them apart. jay leanned down so he was eye level with your core. "can i taste you, y/n?"

"yes, jay." you nodded down at him, his hand trailing up the side of you so he could lace his fingers with yours again, only this time it was in a more of an innappropriate action with the way his mouth was breathing warm air against your pussy.

jay left open mouthed kisses on your thighs, teasing you slightly just like he always does. you were about to tell him to stop it before his tongue met your clit.

"god." you moaned out, your head leaning back against his pillow again at the feeling.

jay felt like he was in heaven. he had died and somehow ended up in heaven.

you felt so warm under him and with your hand laced in his. you tasted so good, so pure and just for him that it drove him crazy.

jay swivled his tongue aorund your clit in circles, before dipping down and tongueing your hole.

"jay, oh god." you moaned out, unable to hold it in on the new feeling you were experiencing. he felt so talented with his tongue that you weren't sure how you could feel this good ever again.

you squeezed his hand tight as you made eye contact with him. jay moaned at your fucked out expression, which caused vibrations to go straight to your core.

"does it feel good, angel?"

"s-so good, jay." you nodded, seeing spit coat your pussy and his face.

jay's fingers trailed down your thigh, before sticking too fingers iinto your hole. "fuck, still so tight." jay groaned against your core, thankful for your juices and his spit to make his fingers ease in so well.

his fingers fucked into you a slow pace, but his tongue swirled around your clit so fast that it caused your hips to buck up into his face. "s-sorry." you moaned out to him.

you felt him laugh into your skin, "don't be sorry, you're hot." jay sucked your clit into his mouth gently, his tongue circling it before he kissed your thigh again. you moaned out at jay's name at his compliment. it felt like a dream to be called hot by park jay- especially when he was eating you out.

his fingers continued to fuck up into you, scissoring once they were shoved all the way in before pulling out and doing it all over again.

you let go of jay's hand, sweat helping keep them together, and reached down to hold onto his hair, your hips digging closer to his face. you could hear how wet you were by the fast pace was jay was slipping his fingers inside of you now.

"oh my god." you moaned breathlessly, "d-don't stop jay, please."

"i won't, angel." jay responded, digging his face further into your wet pussy. "feel like cuming?"

"y-yes, so close, so close."

jay kept fingering you, feeling your walls clench around his fingers so well until they were spasming, and your hips were grinding into his face with your back arched off the bed. his tongue kept sucking yoru clit until all your movement had stopped, and your moans had turned into small whimpers.

jay placed a kiss on your core as he pulled away, rubbing your clit quickly before pulling away which made you cry out.

jay laughed at you, bending down to kiss you right on your lips.

"so mean." you pouted at him, before kissing him again.

"so cute." he responded, pushing your hair out of your face before standing up and walking to his closet. you saw him start to search through his clothes, but you felt so dazed from your orgasm to ask what he was doing.

jay walked back over with a pair of black sweatpants that he had managed to find. he pulled your skirt down, making you realize just how bare you really were to him.

"what?" jay laughed at you suddenly pulling away from him, "don't act like my face wasn't just there."

"jay!" you cried out, your hands covering your face from his dirty words.

"what? it's true!" jay said, gently pulling your legs so they were straight again. "let me put these on you." you sighed and allowed him slide his sweatpants over your bare legs. you moved your hips so he could pull them over and tie them at your waist.

when you were dressed again, jay leaned over you, pressing a soft kiss your lips before resting his head on your chest. it was such a different action that what you would've assumed he would do.

everything you had heard about park jay before had completely left your mind at that exact moment. he wasn't the asshole, bad boy that everyone had described him as. he was sweet, and thoughtful and he just liked to party with his friends.

so you played with his hair as he rested his eyes while laying on your chest- trying to hide his raging boner from you and enjoy this moment with you.

both of you were known for such different reputations, both wanting to stand out from this world, and together it felt like you did.

"do you wanna have dinner here tomorrow night?" jay asked, breaking the silence. he kept his eyes at the bottom of his bed where your legs intertwined. he had never asked a girl to have dinner at his house before and he was so nervous about the way he was feeling about it.

"sure." you shrugged, trying to hide your excitment by playing cool.

"my dad's gonna be here."

you had never met jay's father before. you've seen pictures of him around the house. and you had heard some stories about him from jay. you knew he seemed to be strict, and he worked a lot so jay wasn't particularly close with him.

"that's fine." you shrugged again, feeling jay's tense body on your own as he mentionned his dad.

"yeah?" jay looked up at you finally, brown doe eyes looked into your own.

"yeah."

jay smiled at you, leaning up to kiss you on the lips slowly, humming into your mouth with a feeling of contentness. jay didn't really know what he was feeling at the time then. he knew his grades were improving, and his mom was less mad at him all the time, his friends were confused by his new revelations to not get obliviated by drugs or alcohol. but he had you underneath him and that's all he could ever ask for.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

you had never been invited over for dinner to a boys' house before. so you had no idea what to expect as you walked up to the pretty house you had started to become familiar with. everytim eyou walked up the long drive way, it felt like intimidating and more friendly.

miyoung opened the door to you with a great smile on her face. she looked the same as usual- beautiful- but her clothing was more dressed up for the occassion.

"y/n!" she exclaimed, ushering for you to come in and to take off your jacket. "y/n's here!" she called out, turning her head towards the inside of the house for others to hear. your heart started racing at the thought of having a formal meal with park jay's family.

jay turned the corner from somewhere in the house, a smirk on his face as he saw you. he wore his usual all black outfit- but it was more formal than usual and you almost drooled at the sight. he wore black jeans with a black turtleneck. his silver jewlery was wrapped around his fingers and neck- his lip piercing moved against his plush lips as he greeted you. "let's go sit down."

jay walked beside you behind miyoung, walking through their big house. you had never been this far into their house before- usually only going to jay's bedroom, the bathroom and back. it was what you expected to look like. modern and fancy with great white walls that held expensive looking decorations and art.

they led you to an even greater room with a long, dark oak table. their was a bright, crystal chandelliar hanging above the table and a lovely candle stick in the center of the table.

at the far end of the table sat a man: jay's father.

he looked exactly like jay- but more older and strict. he looked expensive and it almost made you quiver away from intimidation.

"james, this is y/n- jays' tut- friend. jay's friend." miyoung stopped herself, smiling at jay before he could groan out in embarassment.

jay's father looked up from his watch, before his eyes met yours. you smiled and politely bowed to him, "nice to meet you, sir."

"oh my, you don't have to call him sir, just call him james." miyoung brushed her hand on your shoulder, "come over here, you can sit across from jay." she ushered you over to one of the empty dining room chairs.

jay's dad hadn't said a word to you, only staring at you with an expresssion that you would describe as 'shock'. you heard jay stiffle a laugh as he sat across from you, not believing that you is what made his father recover that stupid expression.

when jay's father came home earlier in the day- he thought maybe just maybe, his father would break his serious expression at the sight of jay's new lip piercing. but nothing. just a normal 'hello' before he went into his office for the rest of the day.

after years of jay trying to get his father to react to anything he does- the one thing he doesn't try intentionally is what makes his father break: you.

jay feels like he's in sort of other dimension as he takes in what is going on. his father is actually interested in something that is related to him. his mother is bringing delicious food out on the table for everyone to eat. and you're sitting across from him looking so pretty and anxious as you smile at his parents.

you feel jay nudge your foot under the table, making you look up at him. he winks at you, trying to reassure you that you're fine.

"so, how are you friends with," james started, pointing at his son, "jay." there was a hint of confusion in his voice as he looked between you two.

"uh, i tutor him sometimes." you explain, taking a sip of the water that miyoung had put down in front of you.

"Ah, so you're the reason why his grades have been getting better." james nodded at you. jay was shocked that his father had actually known he had been doing better at school.

"i've been helping, but he does his tests by himself and such so."

james hummed in approval, moving out of the way so miyougn could place more food on the table before she sat down herself.

"i hope you're all really hungry!"miyoung exclaimed, signalling that everyone can dig in now.

the dinner went by smoothly. james seemed to be impressed with every answer you came up with to his or miyoung's questions. you were talking more than jay was for once.

jay didn't know what to say as he watched you interact with his parents. he's never seen his parents act so interested in one of his friend's before. they never even spoke a word to heeseung throughout all these years. jay didn't even want to say anything. he liked hearing you talk so confidently, it was nice to see you be yourself in front of someone that wasn't him.

jay leaned on his front door frame, staring down at you as you stood on his porch. it had started to become dark out now, the sun still setting in the far end of the city. you had bid miyoung and james a goodbte a few minutes ago, thanking them for the dinner as jay walked you out.

"are you okay?" you asked jay, staring at his blissful expression as he scanned your face. you had only ever seen jay this calm before when he was high.

"yeah, i'm really okay." jay nodded, his head shaking against the door frame. "sorry if my parents annoyed you or anything."

"they didn't, i like them, they're so nice."

"my mom's nice, i don't know about my dad, though."

you shook your head at him, "i had fun, don't worry."

"good," jay smiled at you, his fingers playing with the ends of your hair- an action that if he saw anyone else do he'd feel sick, but now it feels so comforting with you- "i'll see you in the library on tuesday, right?"

"of course," you nodded, backing down the porch now, "stay out of trouble, yeah?"

"of course." jay nodded, mocking you with a smile. "bye, angel."

"bye~." you sang out, turning and walking home with a full stomach of food and butterflies.

jay closed the door once you were out of sight, sighing before heading to the stairs for his room.

"jay?" his father called out to him from the living room.

"yeah?"

"come here."

jay quietly groaned as he turned around and went ot see his father. he was sitting on the far end of the couch, turning the tv on mute once his son came in. "sit."

jay sat on one of the chiars that no one ever sat in. "what is it?" he didn't want to talk to his dad. he was tired and frustrated that he hadn't been able to smoke all day.

"are you and y/n, dating?"

jay didn't know how to answer his question. you weren't dating but god did he want to. it was something that jay had never had the urge to do before- date a girl and do boyfriend-girlfriend things- and he's sure his past self would cringe if he knew what he was thinking.

"no, we're just friends."

"and you're going to stay friends, right?" james quirked an eyebrow up at his son, unsure of waht his intentions were with a girl like you.

"what does that mean?"

"it means that you shouldn't be even hanging around with her jay- you should've stayed as tutor and student."

"what the hell are. you talking about?" jay sat up in the unused chair.

"come on son, you know" james shook his head at him, scanning his face for a sense of knowing, when it didn't come he continued, "i don't know what you plan on doing with y/n, but you know that a girl like her shouldn't be hanging out with a boy like you."

"and what is that?"

james sighed, hsi fingers coing to pinch his nose bridge in frustration, "you're a troublemaker jay, and she's so innocent that-"

jay scoffed and stood up, cutting off his father's words.

"and so what? i'm just a troublemaker for life? i can't change?"

"of course you can! just not with her!" james stood up now, his hands coming out in front of him in explaination to his son.

"and why not?"

"because you'll ruin her while you're trying to fix yourself!"

the silence in the house is a silence that's never been there before.

there were nights in the park house where the only sound would be miyoung crying out of worry for her son. nights where jay's music would blast through from his room. and some nights, there would be nothing but james' breathing from the living room as he sat and watched tv on mute, trying to relieve his never ending headache.

the silence now, as jay and his father looked each other with anger and sadness was of something that no one knew how to break. jay always knew that you would be too good for him. the moment he saw you years ago in the hallway- he knew that you were the one thing he had to stay away from. but now that he knew you- how could he stay away?

the silence went on until jay scoffed and left the room. he grabbed his jacket on his way out, slamming the pretty front door on the way out- it being the final sound in the house for the night.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

jay doesn't remember the next day.

he knows that once he wakes up in the late afternoon on tueday in heeseung's bedroom- an hour of school left of the day- that he's fucked.

he's fucked because he knows he just messed up his attendance for the semester- and because his head feels like it's been bashed against the wall one million times.

he feels a weight on his side as he tries to move, turning his head to see sunghoon's passed out figure, his arm resting on jay's body. jay sighs before gently shrugging off his arm, knowing that he won't wake up his drunk friend.

jay scrambles around heeseung's room, trying to find his shoes before going to the bathroom. he looks in the mirror to see a sight he's seen so many times. he's washing his face to try to get rid of any intoxication but he knows it's not going to do anything. and then jay's sighing as he's leaving heeseung's house, heading to the school so you can try to tutor him and he can pretend he didn't just spend the last twenty-four hours partying with his friends.

you had realized the frown on jay's face the moment he walked into the library. you didn't say anything because you knew that he was moody sometimes. you had realized that he wasn't trying the practice problems you had given him. you didn't offer to help him because you knew that he understood the concept.

it was almost completely silent between you two for the hour that you were suppose to tutor him until you finally spoke up about his behvaiour.

"what's wrong?"

"hm?" jay asked, looking up from his paper that he hasn't touched.

"i asked what's wrong, you don't seem okay."

"'m fine." he mumbled, going back to staring at question one.

you pouted at his answer, your mind going blank when trying to figure out if you had done anything to upset him. you were obviously getting caught up in your mind about faults that didn't exist. jay could tell that you were feeling uspet about because him and it honestly broke his heart.

"y/n, i'm fine. just my stupid father." jay explained briefly to you, hoping that pout on your lips would go away.

"what happened?"

"don't worry about it, it's whatever." jay shrugged you off, not wanting to explain to you that you're too good for him and everyone can see it.

you reached across the table and took his unused pencil out of his hand before lacing your fingers with his. "jay, what happened?" jay looked at yoru concern filled eyes, hating himself more because you cared so much for him.

jay sighed, squeezing your hand back, "i don't want to ruin you, y/n."

"ruin me?"

"you're too nice, and caring, and smart and good. stuff that i'm not, and i don't want to change those things about you because you're hanging around with me."

"jay." you stated, staring at his worried face, when he didn't look at you, you squeezed his hand until he did, "jay, you are not going to ruin me. you know about our reputations and didn't we agree that high school reputations are stupid? so who cares if i'm a 'good girl' and you're a 'bad boy'. i can make my own decisions so you are not going to ruin me, okay?"

jay smiled sheepishly at you, realizing that maybe it's all been in his head, his father not helping him at all.

"okay." jay nodded, letting go of your hand so you both could pack your things to leave. when you were standing up jay called your name before he turned to leave. "do you wanna go on a date this weekend? like a proper one- not one that's just in my bedroom where we tutor each other."

you felt your cheeks turn hot at the mention of how you 'tutor' each other, but your heart warmed with thet hought of going on an actual date with jay. to a public place where people would see you two together.

"yeah, sure." you nodded, biting your lip to hold back your smile.

"okay, so i'll see you friday night?" jay asked, walking backwards out of the library.

"i'll see you friday, jay."

jay smiled a big smile at you before he turned and left the library, leaving you standing there with pink cheeks and a light heart.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

park jay picked you up outside your house on friday night in his black car that matched his black clothes and black hair. you had decided to wear jeans for tonight, as winter was quickly leaving seoul. you told your parents that you were hanging out with seeun for the night- no wanting to have a conversation with them about having boyfriends and what comes with it (safe sex!).

"hi, jay." you greeted him when you sat down in the passenger side of his car.

"hi, angel." he said, looking at your outfit, "you look pretty." his hand almost instinctively coming out to rest on your jean clad thigh.

"thank you." you smiled, clicking on your seatbelt as jay started to drive to the movie theatre.

jay had done everything right. he bought your movie ticket, your drink and popcorn. he made sure you were comfortable in your seat. he held your hand during the movie, and asked if you were having fun- and you were. up until a sex scene played during the movie and you couldn't help but think of jay's face in between your legs. you felt your panties become suddenly too tight and you wished you had worn your usual skirts after all.

jay noticed the way your thighs clenched together during the end of the movie, also aware of the painfully long sex scene that reminded him that he was on a date with you. he noticed the way you were quieter than usual as you walked out of the movie theatres when the moive was over- obviously there was inappropriate thoughts rushing through both of your minds and you didn't want them to ruin the nice date you had just had with park jay.

you were both sat inside of his jay's car, trying to warm up the car before he drove you back home. you were trying not to be obvious about the thoughts of jay running thorugh your mind but the obvious twitching and playing with your fingers was being a dead give away taht there was something on your mind.

jay put his hand on your thigh- an action that's becoming too familiar and comfortable- and you almost moaned at house sensitive you were still. there had been so many nights after hanging out with jay where his fingers and his stupid lip piercing were all that you could think about. no matter how long and hard you tried to focus on studying- park jay seemed to always appear in your mind. "are you okay, y/n?"

"y-yeah, did you like the movie?" you asked him, trying to ignore the way he was now squeezing your thigh, his fingers were just so close to your core.

"it was alright," jay shrugged, "are you cold? why are you bouncing your leg like that?" the point out of your whole body shaking make you stop your action completely to a halt.

"i-i'm fine." jay laughed at you, shaking his head and pulling away his hand. "what? why're you laughing?"

"i saw the way you reacted during that sex scene, y/n." jay stated, almost laughing again at your shocked expresssion. "is there anything you want from me, y/n?"

you took a sharp inhale, "i-i just want you."

jay smirked down at you at your confession, his lip ring shining in the lamp light outside. "yeah? do you wanna go to my house then?" you nodded in response, glancing down at his crotch for a second, gasping quietly when you saw his bulge. you looked around the street where jay had parked his car, everyone that had been in the movie theatre had left by now, no one was around the back of the parking lot where jay had parked.

your hand trailed over jay's thigh suddenly, before cupping his bulge in his black jeans.

"f-fuck, what're you doing, baby." jay gasped out, not expecting for you to touch him like this.

"i wanna show you just how bad i can really be." you pouted to him, a hint of mischief in your eyes that matched his.

"fuck, okay." jay nodded, sitting back in his spot as you climbed over the center console and sat right on his thighs. your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his lips into yours in a deep kiss. you had never kissed each other so feverishly before- the passion ran through you both at a high speed as you sat on top of him.

jay's hands rested on your hips, playing with the buckle loops of your jeans. your hair was sprawled over his shoulders as you tilted your head down to kiss him. you pulled away, resting your forehead on his as your hands trailed down his chest, stopping at his jean button. "wait." jay's hand stopped yours, making you glance up at him with concerned wide eyes, "are you sure you wanna do that?"

"yes." you nodded strictly, "a-are you okay with this?"

"yes, my angel." jay said, pulling your lips to his again before resting his hands on your thighs.

both of your eyes were locked on your hands unbuttoning his jeans. your hands went inside of his boxers, feeling his warm, hard length under your fingers. you could feel jay twitch underneath you at your touch. you pulled out his length so it was in view. his pale skin seemed like it was glowing from the moon light shining in the car. you felt your jaw drop at finally seeing jay's cock.

jay laughed underneath you, finding your reaction cute.

"what?" you pouted at him again with a smile, "don't laugh at me."

"i'm not!" jay kissed your nose, "you're just so cute." you shook your head at him, lifting his cock up so it was straight in your hands.

remembering what you had over heard some others girl say in your class, you let spit fill up your mouth before you dropped a glob down on his red tip. jay let out a quiet hiss at your action. you brought your lips to hiss again, your hand starting to move up and down his hard cock slowly. your kissing speed matched your hands' speed.

jay started to kiss your neck, making you throw your head to side so he could have better access. he hummed against your skin when you tightened your grip on his cock, your thumb brushing over the glob of precum that sat ontop of his tip. "i wanna suck your dick, jay." you moaned out, making jay stop kissing your neck and pull away to look at you.

"you what?" he asked in shock about the words that had just came from your mouth.

"i wanna suck your dick."

"fuck." jay rested his head on the back of the headrest, looking up at you in the moonlight. "you're perfect you know that?"

you laughed at him, before moving down so that you were inbetween his legs, your knees at the bottom of the car floor. you looked up at him through your eyelashes, loving the way that he was looking at you as if you were an actual angel.

you kissed the bottom of his shaft, your hand moivng up and down his shaft as you put kitten licks on his tip- trying to imagine waht else you had heard other girls talk about. your tongue licked across the slit, making jay groan quietly. his hands went ot play iwth your hair again- something that he never seems to stop doing now.

your hand and spit was getting jay's dick so wet that it was easier to move and squeeze his dick. you pulled away from his tip and started sucking on the bottom of his shaft, your hand speeding up as it moved up and down.

"god, that feels so good angel." jay groaned out, his head giong back to rest on the head rest again. he was trying so hard to not buck up into your mouth. this was only a scenario he had dreamed off before- and now that it was reality he didn't know how long he could hold himself over for.

you put his tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around before pushing yoru head down his cock. when his tip hit the back of your throat, you tried to not pull out but it was hard not to. your hands kept stroking his cock up and down as you pulled away, his stomach tightening at the feeling of your thorat closing around him. you put another glob of spit on his dick, making jay groan out at the sight.

"fuck, look at me when you do that." jay groaned out, pulling your hair so that you would look at him. "fuck that's it."

you started to put his cock all the way in your mouth again, yoru hand stroking what you couldn't fit until you found a right pace.

"my god." jay groaned out, taking a deep breath as he bit onto the back of his hand, trying to not buck into your mouth as your innocent eyes looked right into his. "that's it angel." he nodded at you, praising you for how well you were sucking his dick. your cheeks were hollowing in as you started to slurp around his dick. you were sure if anyone walked past the car they would be able to hear your sucking noises and jay's moans and groans.

"fuck, y/n. 'm gonna cum if you don't stop." jay warned you, gently trying to pull your head off him. his warning only made you suck and stroke his cock harder, wanting to see him cum like he's seen you before.

"please cum, jay." you nodded at him, spitting onto his dick once more before sliding your mouth down on him all the way.

"fuck!" jay moaned out, his body going rigid as he came in your mouth. the feeling of his warm cum coating your mouth only made you moan around his still hard cock- adding more vibrations and sensations to his orgasm.

you pulled off of him, your hand slowly stroking his cock as you showed him his cum in your mouth. "god." jay breathed out, watching you swallow his cum with a smile on your face. "i've actually ruined you, angel." you smile up at him, pulling his boxer and jeans over his cock again, letting him button up his jeans as you climbed back into the passenger seat.

"let's go to your house." you nod at him, putting your seatbelt on.

"my house?" jay asks, you nod in response, laughing at his silly expresssion. "fuck."

jay thinks he's never sped home so fast in his life. with the radio blasting and you giggling beside him as you tease him about his moaning- it felt like a dream.

jay's parents weren't home when he pulled into his long driveway- they were having a date night before james had to go back to work in another city for a few weeks.

you and jay ran up his pretty porch steps, kissing at the same time while laughing. you kept kissing his neck as he was trying to unlock his front door, trying to not bust the door down so he could bring you to his room.

his bedroom was the same as always as he closed his door and pushed you up against it. his lips going to your neck like usual, trying so hard to not leave hickeys to mark you as his. his hands were sliding down your body, pulling on your jean's loops to pull you closer to his hips. your hands were trailing down his back, grabbing onto his black, band shirt that he loved so much.

you pushed him away from you, backing him up until he got to his bed, laying down and propping himself up on his elbows to look at you. you pulled your shirt off, leaving you in your jeans and bra.

"you're gonna be the death of me." jay mumbled as you crawled on top of him, your cores grinding into each other. there was so much built up lust between you that you were both too scared to act on. you were so inexperienceed that you didn't know if jay would like it or not. and jay didn't want to rush you into things too fast.

jay flipped you over so that your head was up on his pillow- a position that you've been in before. you felt jay unbuttoning your jeans, pulling them down your legs until you were only in your underwear and bra. the sudden thought of being bare in front of jay for the first time sent an unwanted feeling of anxiety down your spin.

park jay was known to have sex with mulitple girls before. you had wondered before about how many girls exactly that he's been with. so many girls that were more experienced than you- who were probably a lot sexier than you too.

jay felt you tense under his body, pulling away from kissing your collarbones to look at you. "are you okay?" he asked, concern filling him as he looked at your upset face.

"y-yeah, i'm fine." you replied meakly. jay pulled away from you at the sound of your voice.

"y/n, we don't have to do anything that you don't want t-"

"i want to! i really want to!" you cut him off, sitting up on your elbows to look at him. "it's just, you know. i've never done this before and i know you have- and i don't care that you have before!- i just want to be good for you."

jay pulled your lips to his at the end of your rambling, in a soft manner- just like the first time he kissed you. "i don't care if you've never done it- or even if you've done it a million times," you roll your eyes at him, "and you shouldn't care about how many times i've had sex, angel, all those other girls have never been my girl before."

you blush as jay calls you 'his girl'. you take jay's head in your hands, kissing him as a 'thank you' for helping your insecurities. he pulled away from you to take off his own shirt. your eyes and hands immediately roaming over his skin as it was the first time that you had seen him shirtless. his skin was breathtaking. it was so smooth, pale and soft. little freckles and scars visible for your eyes only.

he slid off his jeans and boxers, throwing them to the side of his bed, landing somewhere on the floor before he laid down on top of you again. kissing obnoxiously down your skin, sliding your panties off. you heard him take a sharp inhale as your core came visible to his eyes, having to hold yourself back from closing your legs.

you sat up again, your hands going behind your back to unclip your bra, letting the straps fall to your sides before throwing it to the side with jay's clothing. your breasts were visible to jay now, hearing him groan out before his hand reaches forward and starts to play with your nipple, making your back arch into his touch.

"i need you, jay." you tell him, the wetness between your legs becoming too much.

"fuck, okay, lay back." jay kissed your forehead, his hands trailing down your sides once you were under him once again. "you're sure you're okay with this?"

"yes jay, please." you begged, unsure of what you begged for exactly- all your mind could think of was jay.

jay leaned over to his bedside table, grabbing a condom and sliding it down his dick. he put his cock over your wet slit, your juices flowing all over your core and making a mess. you felt his cock slip inbetween your folds, circling yoru clit before beginning to push into you.

"i'll go slow, angel." jay whispered out to you, one of his hands tracing shape into yoru thigh while the other guided his cock in slowly, just like he said.

you closed your eyes as you prepared yoruself to feel uncomfortable for the next few moments. he kept his gaze on your face, looking for any signs of pain until he was balls deep inside of you. your tight walls were already clenched tight around him he really didn't think that he could last this time.

"are you okay?" jay whispered to you, bending over your body careful to not push into your further.

"it- it feels weird." you replied, opening your eyes for the first time to look at him.

"i'm sorry, y/n. it'll stop in a second." jay kissed your cheek, movingone of his hand down between your bodies so that he could rub small circles over your clit.

he groaned quietly when he felt your walls clench even tighter. you stayed in that position for a minute, pleasure slowly taking over as he played with your clit. you told him that he could move after a moment, allowing for him to hold himself up over you with his elbows, his breath fanned your face as he pulled his cock out of you until just his tip was in- before pushing back into you.

the feeling of having jay inside of you felt unusual, something that you had never experienced before, but it felt so right. you wrapped your legs tight around his waist as he continued to push his hard cock in adn out of you.

the sound of his skin hitting your wet core was breaking the eerie silence that had taken over the park house. your little whimpers of pleasure was taking jay to a whole other world as he tried to not fuck too hard into you.

both of you could feel the sweat start to build up in between you two, the passion and lust adding to the aura of the room.

"g-god jay, feels so good." you cried out to him, your hips starting to push back into his thrusts.

"yeah?" jay's voice let out a deep grunt- a deepness that you've never heard in his voice before. you nodded, your eyes closing in pleasure this time. "you really letting me ruin you, angel? no one else is going to be able to feel you as tight as i am, fuckin' strechin' your pussy so good, right?" jay almost let out a laugh at the way you clamped down on his cock.

"jay, oh god!" you cried out again, you swore you could feel his cock in your stomach he was fucking into you so deep.

"fuck, y/n, i might cum, baby." jay groaned out, kissing your neck to try to keep himself quiet.

"please, cum jay, i wanna feel you cum." you begged him, your hands pulling on his hair to hold onto him tighter.

his orgasm snuck up on him before he could even tell you that he was cumming. a dark groan escaped his lips as he started to fuck into you harder and faster- your tight, wet walls letting him. his hand snuck down and started rubbing yoru clit and an inhumane rate, making your hips jerk up to meet his.

"fuck!" jay groaned out, feeling your walls spasm with your own orgasm. you felt his cum fill his condom as you hit your high. both of you moaning into each others ears at the feeling of the insane amount of pleasure. you let out whimpers of his name as you came down from your high, his fingers coming to a stop on your clit as he pulled out of you slowly.

jay pulled off his condom and threw it into the garbage bin beside his bed. your heavy breaths filled his bedroom as he layed down beside you, pulling his duvet (the one that he likes!) over the both of your sweaty bodies. you moved over to rest your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart beat slow down.

"are you okay?" jay asked you, his fingers stroking your hair away from your face.

"'m perfect." you mumbled into his warm skin, feeling tired from the 'exercise' you just did. "thank you."

jay scoffed, "you don't have to thank me, angel. i had fun, as long as you had fun."

"i had fun." you turned your head and smiled up at him. jay kissed your forehead in return, closing his eyes for a moment, taking in his present reality. you felt sleepiness take over both your bodies until your phone started ringing from the pile of clothes you and jay made on the side of his bed.

you groaned, and reached over him to search on the floor for your phone, the duvet falling off your hips leaving your bare ass for jay to see. out of something like instinct, jay smacked your ass playfully, making you look back at him with a roll of your eyes.

"hello?" you asked into your phone, sitting back beside jay, pulling the duvet over your bare body.

"y/n!" seeun said over the phone, "do you want to hang out and watch movies tonight? i'm near your house so i can stop at the corner store and get snacks before i come!" guilt washed over you at seeun's offer to hang out. usually every other friday you and seeun would hang out at your house and watch a series of movies together- you had completely forgotten that it would be this friday as well.

"oh uh, i'm sorry se, i'm not feeling good so i don't think it's a good idea if we do movie night tonight." you lied through your teeth, your hand coming up to rest on your forehead as you tried to not let it out that you were lying.

"aw! that's too bad! i hope your parents are taking good care of you so you feel better!" seeun pouted through the phone.

"they are! thanks so much, i'll see you monday, right?"

"right! feel better! love you!"

"love you, too! bye!" you sighed and hung up, feeling awful that you had to lie to your best friend.

"what's wrong?" jay asked, his hand rubbing your back for comfort.

"seeun likes to have movie nights on friday nights and i forgot." you replied honestly.

"oh shit, i'm sorry." jay sat up, feeling bad that you had to miss hanging out with your friend because of him.

"no, it's okay, you didn't know!" you reassured him with a smile. "i should get home, though, my parents wanted me home before they get home later."

"okay, angel." jay kissed your temple for the last time of the night, both of you standing up and getting dressed so jay could drive you home.

seeun stood across the street from your house. she could see that your parents weren't home since their car wasn't in the driveway. all the lights in your house were off, including your bedroom light, meaning that you most likely weren't home either.

seeun sighed as she hung up, hurt running through her as she realized you had lied to her. where is she? she thought to herself, throwing her phone in her pocket and picking up the bag of snacks she had bought for her and you to share before walking back to her house alone.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

since you had now become park jay's girlfriend, you had brought up the idea that you finally meet his friends.

jay really wanted you to meet his friends, but god did it make him nervous. he knew what his friends were like; they were assholes, and they liked to do dangerous things- but they didn't mean any harm per se, they just wanted to have fun.

the next weekend after losing your virginity to park jay, he invited you to come to a party so you could meet his small friend group. you were iffy about going to a party-having almost finished your high school career with not going to one. but since you would get to meet his friends- you pushed yourself to go.

jay held your hand tight as you walked into the party together. it was in some big house in the south end of seoul where apparently 'all the cool people partied'. you could hear the music down the sidewalk as you approached the party. there were strobe lights flashing out of the windows and cheers from kids partying inside.

the first thing you noticed when you walked into the party was that you did not belong. there were girls wearing practically nothing- compared to your short black skirt and baby pink crop top. the scent of weed and alcohol immediately filled your senses as you followed jay through the thick crowd of people, his hand never leaving yours in fear of losing you.

jay knew that you were nervous to go- and that you were going because of him and his friends. he knew that he'd have to watch himself tonight so he didn't mess things up between you and his friends. he already had a strict talk with his friends about being on their best behaviour for when they met you.

his friends were excited to meet you, some of them had only seen you from a far before, and they had really wanted to meet the girl that had stopped jay from being a total delinquent with them.

you almost bumped right into jay's back as he stopped suddenly, gently pulling on your hand so you could stand in front of him. there were six boys who all sat on the couch or chairs, four of them had red solo cups in their hands as they all cheered when they saw jay's familiar face.

they all looked familiar to you, having seen them around school or heard gossip about them from seeun.

"guys, this is y/n, y/n this is heeseung, jake, riki, jungwon, sunghoon and sunoo." jay introduced you over the loud music, pointing at each of them from left to right. they all smiled at you, some of them having blood shot eyes from either the alcohol or drugs.

"hi y/n, it's nice to meet you!" one of them spoke up, the one being jungwon who seemed the most sober of them all. you smiled politely at him. "i heard you don't like to drink or anything so you can stay with me and riki all night, we don't do that stuff either." jungwon patted the boy on his right, riki smiling at you, too.

"she can stay all night with me too, guys." jay rolled his eyes at them, sitting down on a chair and grabbing at your hand for you to sit on his lap.

"yeah up until when? until you drink so much you throw up again?" the boy named sunghoon slurred, waving his hand at jay. you kept the smile on your face as you listened to him, trying not to think too much of it.

"he's joking, i haven't done that in a while." jay whispered in your ear.

"it's alright." you reassured him with a smile.

halfway through the night jay had convinced you to get up and dance with him, your bodies meshing in with the other sweaty dancers in the crowd as you all listened to the shitty house music that was making you go partially deaf.

it was fun to have jay grinding and laughing behind you, kissing your neck like he usually does. the rest of his friends had all dispersed around you, dancing on their own or with some girl that they obviously wanted to hook up with. it was interesting to see how they all acted together- some characteristics were just like you had heard within all the gossop- other things weren't even mentionned. they all looked out for each other, making sure that one of them doesn't drink or smoke too much.

"i gotta go piss." jay says in your ear while you were dancing. he felt you nod your head in response, "will you be okay for a second?" he felt you nod again, backing away from you but pointing at jake and jungwon from the across the room that you'd be by yourself for a moment.

jungwon made his way to you, jake trudging along as he was defintely intoxicated from all the shots he had taken earlier in the night. you smiled as the two of them came into your sight, easily dancing with jungwon playfully. jake stayed beside you guys, swaying to the music with a smirk on his face that reminded you of jay's.

you were having fun dancing with jungwon, feeling jake stare at you every now and then when jungwon would twirl you in the middle of the dance floor.

"how the hell did jay get a girl like you?" you heard jake ask from beside you, making jungwon nudge him with a 'wtf' face.

"what do you mean?" you asked confused.

"you're just too pure." jake bit his lip as he scanned your face, "a goody two shoes." you gulped under jake's stare, jungwon having to snap jake's gaze away from you.

you saw a hand come from behind you a shove jake's shoulder a bit, "what're you doing, jakey?" you heard jay's voice say, an obviously annoyed tone evident.

"just asking y/n about what she sees in you." a playful smirk is on jake's face, he quirks his eyebrows up at you.

"bro, fuck off, you've had too much to drink." jay shoves him again, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"i got him jay, i'll take him back to heeseung's, it was nice to meet you y/n!" jungwon wrapped his arm around jake's shoulders, ushering jake away from you guys and towards an exit.

jay took your hand in his, guiding you through the crowd of people again, making his way to the front door with you behind him. when you were finally outside again, you didn't know how much you missed fresh air. the spring air felt crisp in yoru lungs as you walked hand in hand with jay down the sidewalk.

"i'm sorry about him," jay speaks for the first time since you've left the better, "he gets assholey when he's drunk, i didn't realize he was at the point of drinking."

"it's okay, jay." you mumbled, kissing his shoulder through his jacket as you continued to walk back to his house.

"what'd he say to you exactly?"

you hummed as you tried to remember, "something about me being a goody two shoes."

jay scoffed, "i'm sorry about him really, i can't believe he was even looking at you like that, i literally almost punched him."

"looking at me like what?"

jay quirked an eyebrow at you playfully, "you know, the way that i look at you."

"hm," you smirked, "didn't even notice."

"good," jay pulled you into him, "because you're mine, right?"

"just yours." you nodded, kissing his lips quickly.

the minute that you're back in jay's bedroom, the scent of alcohol and weed and sweat still on you, he's pushing you down onto his bed. you could tell from the moment jay saw how close jake got to you, that he was jealous. he tried to play it off while you were walking home, but you could tell with the way he kept you close to his side the entire way that he was a bit angry with his friends' actions.

jay nipped at your neck, making you moan out to him, "no marks, jay." you felt him pout against your skin at your warning.

"why? you said so yourself, you're mine. so why can't everyone else know?"

"my parents jay." you pulled him up and away from your skin. he sighed at the mention of them.

"can't we just tell them?"

"i want to, but we can't, not until we graduate, you know how they are."

jay continued to pout at you until his mischeif eyes returned, "fine, i wont leave marks on your neck."

jay starts to pull off your shirt, exposing your collarbones and the tops of your breasts. his lips attack your skin, sucking and biting until you're moaning under him at the possessive way he's marking your body.

you push him off so that you could unclip your bra, his hands helping slide it off of your tits before he's sucking at your nipples. your back arches into his warm mouth, his hands start to slide off your skirt until he's throiwng it over his shoulder.

"i like that skirt." jay mumbles into your skin, pressing open mouthed kissing down your stomach to your thighs.

"yeah?" you ask breathless.

"yeah, black looks nice on you." he kisses below your belly button, "sexy."

"sexy?" you almost laugh, never in your life have you thought that you would look sexy.

"really sexy," jay came to your face, "why do you think jake couldn't stop staring at you?"

"he wasn't staring, jay." you kissed him passionately, sensing his worry. "if he was, i don't care, i only stare at you."

"i know angel, i know." he kissed your neck again, his finger tracing circles in your bare hips.

"no one else can fuck me like you, jay." you felt him groan at your words, the vibrations tickling your skin.

"is that what you want me to do? do you want me to fuck you, y/n?"

"please jay, i want you to fuck me so hard."

"okay, my angel." his hands grab onto your hips suddenly, flipping you over so your face is pressed against his mattresss. "want me to fuck you like the bad girl we know you are?"

"yes! please!" you cried out, your hands searching for something to grab on to. you feel jay grab your forearms, shoving them together and locking them onto your back.

"leave your hands here." jay grunted out, you feel him stand up off of his bed. you hear shuffling as he undresses himself. "i need to play some music, i don't want my parents to hear." you hum in response to him, watching him turn his speaker on. angel by the weeknd started to fill his room and hopefully quietly down the hall to block out your future noises.

when you feel jay's hard dick press up against your thighs your body jolts with excitement. you felt him presss one last soft kiss in the middle of your spin before he's pushing your upper half down into his mattress so that you ass was in the air for him.

his hands land a loud slap on your ass, making you jolt forward with a moan. "fuckin' love your ass, angel." he slaps your ass again with both hands, "wanted to see it for long, prancing around my room in your skirts, just beggin' for it, yeah?"

"yes, sir." you moan out before you could even stop yourself.

"sir?" you hear jay tease you, "my goody two shoes has a sir kink?" he laughs out, "god you're perfect." jay leans his face down so that his tongue can slide in between your folds, small circles around your clit quickly. you feel his lip piercing's cold metal brush over it ever so slightly before he's pulling away again.

jay reaches over your back, holding onto your locked hands that stayed so obeditently behind your back. "i love the way you taste, so sweet, so good just like you." he mumbles into your skin, shoving his tongue into your hole quickly before he's taking it out again. he hears you whine into his mattress. "what's wrong, baby?" he asks in a mocked, caring tone.

"wanna feel you."

jay slapped your ass with his free hand, "ask nicely like the good girl you are."

"please, i want you tongue sir." you felt him smirk on your spin as he pressed a soft kiss before slapping your ass again.

"good girl." his breath was over your core again, "fuck you're so wet." he used his thumb to spread your folds open, cool air being blown on your bare core.

jay dragged the the flat of his tongue against your slit, collecting all your juices and wetting you with his salivia. you moaned out into the pillow, feeling so incredibly turned on by him that it was almost too much already. the throbbing pain in your ass from his slaps only increased your pleasure more.

you started to grind your hips back into his face, making him laugh against your core. "are you trying to be a little slut?" he asked you, massaging your ass with his free hand, running his fingers over the red marks that were already appearing.

"'m sorr-ry sir, feels so good." you arched your hips to grind against him again.

at full force, jay started to fuck his tongue into your hole, groaning against your core at your taste. he really couldn't get over how good you tasted on his tongue. you really were an angel and he had you all too himself.

within what felt like a minute, jay had to falling apart on his tongue, his grip on your locked hands tighening as you started to shake against his tongue, he spanked your ass as you called out his name, your eyes closing as pleasure took over.

he pressed one final kiss to your wet core before standing up off his bed away from you, your hands falling to your sides from holding them in place for so long. soft whimpers still left your mouth as your high coursed through you. "you good, y/n?" he asked into your air, kissing your temple as your face was still pressed into his mattress.

"yes, sir." you replied obediently, smiling at him through your eye lashes. you heard him dig through his bed side drawer, plopping a condom packet on the bed before digging some more. you heard him mumble to himself before he closed the drawer.

you felt him get on his knees behind you again, pushing your front down again as he slipped the condom on. you could feel your juices mixed with his spit leaking down your legs. jay slid slowly into you, aware that this was only your second time having sex. "fuck, still so tight." he mumbled, sounding like there was something in his mouth. he let you adjust to his size for a moment.

your heavy breath was mixing in with another the weeknd song as you tried to control your clenching core around jay's cock. you heard lighter flicks from behind you suddenly, making yo ulean on your elbow to look at jay, who was lighting a cigarette in his mouth. you quirked an eyebrow up at him as you watched him inhale pushing throwing the lighter somewhere and blowing smoke out of his mouth.

"don't look at me like that." jay shook his head, "i was already at a party tonight with drugs and alcohol, and now i'm fucking you- i need something or else i'm not gonna last." you rolled your eyes at him, plopping your head back down into the mattress as you felt him start to fuck slowly into you.

his cock was already so deep in you that you didn't know how long you were going to last either. the slow r&b song urged jay to start fucking into you faster, gripping onto your waist as he fucked you into his mattress. he'd slow down every few thrusts, getting deep inside of you where he'd circle his hips, reaching everywhere inside of you.

you felt his hand reach underneath you, pinching your nipple before grabbing you by the neck and pulling you up your knees. you rested your head on his shoulder, your body jolting upwards everytime he fucked up into you. his other hand that wasn't holding you up held his cigarette, taking a puff every few seconds.

your hair had become a mess at this point, from the amoutn of times you had shoved your face into the mattress and now it was getting tangled as it hung over your body that rested against jay's.

you kept your eyes closed as you focused on the way jay was fucking you, making you moan out his name and be thankful for the music he had put on. the smell of sweat, jay's cologne and cigarette smoke filled his room as he continously fucked deep inside of you.

the hand that was holding you up, slid down to your clit, rubbing wet circles around it, causing slick sounds to be heard in the room. "fuck, angel, clenching around me so damn tight."

"just for you, sir." you moaned out, turning your head so you could look him in the eyes.

"fuck." he growled out, throwing your body down onto the mattress again, his cock slipping out of you making you whine. he knealt over you, reaching to his bedside table to put the rest of his cigarette out.

his shoved his cock back into you forcefully, making you cry out his name.

"can you touch your clit for me angel? wanna feel you cum around my cock." he asked, grabbing onto your waist again and fucking into you at a fast pace.

"yes, sir." he watched your hand snake under your body and start circling the bud as he fucked deep inside of you to reach your high.

the sight of you trying to get yoruself off while his cock was pleasuring you was almost too much for jay as he rolled his eyes back and swore out loud. your walls were spasming around him in now time, loving the way he was gripping onto you so tight.

he spanked your ass as you came, intensifying your skin as he continued to pound into you, reaching his own orgasm shortly after.

jay collapsed onto you, his cock still sitting in your wet and used walls. your heavy breaths filled the room as both of you tried to calm down from your orgasms.

when he felt his cock soften finally, he pulled out of you slowly, not wanting to overstimulate you more from how sensitive you were. he tied off the condom and threw it into the garbage bin beside his bed.

"i'll get you some water, angel." jay kissed your temple, rubbing your back briefly before throwing on some sweatpants and leaving for the kitchen.

the slow music still played through the speakers as you sat up in jay's bed, reaching over the side to grab something to cover in. jay's black band shirt was over your shoulders in an instant so you could lay back down. there was already a throbbing in yoru core from how hard jay was fucking into you- you knew that you wouldn't be able to move for the rest of the weekend but you didn't regret it at all.

jay came back with a soft smile on his face as he saw you in his shirt, in his bed, with his bite marks on your thights.

"here you go." jay gave you a glass of water and climbed to sit beside you in the bed, wrapping his duvet around you and him. "are you okay?"

you nodded as you set your glass of water down beside his burnt out cigarette, "'m perfect." jay smiled at you, pulling you into a deep kiss.

"you told your parents that you're sleeping at seeun's, right?" you hummed in response to his questions, "good, let's go to sleep, we're going to need it since exams are starting soon."

you groaned as you layed back with him, your head coming to rest on his chest. "don't remind me about exams right now."

"i'm sorry! i'm kinda excited for them."

"you're excited for exams?" you asked him.

"yeah, i've never studied for them before ."

you hummed in realization at his words, "maybe you are getting a halo, jay."

"maybe." you heard jay reply, before the two of you fall asleep to the sounds of each others breaths, both content with your relationship for the moment, unaware of lies.

-- -- -- - -- -- -- -

although jay said he was excited for exams, he didn't really know just how stressful studying for exams could be. it felt like there was an outweighing pressure on him whether he was studying or not.

and even though you were there beside him for majiroty of it, he still felt like he wasn't going anywhere. he hated sitting beside someone as smart as you, bothering you to help him when you needed to study as well.

you constantly told him that you didn't mind helping him (you were his tutor at first) but he just didn't believe you. he felt guilty distracting you from you own work when you're the one who actually has a bright future in front of them.

jay had been trying to be good for you the moment you started to tutor him. cutting out drugs and alcohol so quick for him was proven to be difficult very quick. anytime that he was around his friends, he'd drink or smoke, not telling you what he was up to.

jay knew that he should've told you that he was still getting intoxicated, but he didn't want to disappoint you like he's done to his entire family and peers. he couldn't bear to see a disappointed look on your face because of his actions.

so friday night, when the stress of studying for exams became all too much, he let heeseung pick him up and take him to an-almost-end-of-the-year-party.

and he drank and he smoked and he lost himself in the shitty house music that he swore he hated. everytime the thought of you came into his mind, he took another shot to try to distract himself from how much of a disapointment he was. everyone was right, you were too good for him.

that disapointed look from you came all too quick when he woke up the next day to you shoving his shoulder, waking him up in his bed. it took him a second to realize where he was and what the hell was going on, but once he did oh god was he fucked.

"y/n!" he jumped out of bed, only wearing those grey sweatpants that you liked on him so much. "i-"

"it's whatever, jay," you put your hand up to him, frustrated that he had gone out and got intoxicated behind your back. "i'll talk to you monday when you're not hungover."

"y/n." he grabbed your arm, stopping you from leaving his bedroom, "i'm sorry! i just, exams! i didn't think they'd be so stressful!" you couldn't look at him as he explained himself, feeling lied to was the worse thing you could feel.

"you could've at least told me you were going to a party." you mumbled to him, wondeirng if he had hooked up with any girls last night.

"i know! you're right! i'm a fucking asshole. i'm sorry, i tried to be good for you- i did!"

you sighed as he kept apologizing to you, wondering how many times exactly he's lied to you about being somewhere or being sober.

"y/n, look at me." his voice sounded weak as he said your name again. you forced yourself to look at him, tiredness evident on his face from the night he had. "i am sorry. i like you so much i-."

"do you like me?" you cut him off, "because if you did i don't know why you'd lie to me about this."

"of course i fucking like you! i can't go a second through my day without thinking about you! i have to drink to stop thinking about you and how much of a disapointment i am to you! it's so hard trying to be good i- i'm just not."

your hand grabbed jay's face, making him look you in the eyes, "park jay." you made him listen to you, "you are not a fucking disappointment." jay's eyes widen at your use of langauge, never hearing you swear before in his life, "you don't have to be good for me. no one is exactly good, take me for an example. i understand that you like to drink and smoke and party and whatever! i just hate knowing that you're wasting your life away when you have so much potential! i don't care if you smoke or drink i just want you to be able to have a good future! i didn't mean to make it sound like you had to go behind my back to do those things! so i'm sorry." you confessed to him, feeling guilty yourself for putting pressure on him to feel like he's not good enough for you.

jay sighs at your confession, the weight on his shoulders leaving as he realizes his own stupid mistakes. "it's okay. i'm still sorry that i did those things behind your back." he nodded, moving forward to rest his chin on your shoulder.

you wrap your arms around him, smiling as he almost knocks you over by leaning his entire weight on you, "it's okay. next time, we should just talk about these things, i don't want there to be anymore miscommunication, okay?"

"okay, angel." jay nodded, pulling away so he could smash his lips onto your own, kissing you like it's the first time all over again.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

new fact: walking into school with park jay holding your hand will 100% cause everyone to stop and stare at you.

"what do we do?" you whispered to him, continuing your way to your locker.

"just don't look at them, they're fucking annoying." he grunted at you, hating everyone in the school.

"jay!" you hissed at him.

"sorry! you asked!" he shoved you playfully, pulling you back into him by your hand.

"what the hell?" you heard a familiar voice behind you. both you and jay turn at the sudden declaration.

seeun stood behind you, a disgusted look on her face as she looked at you, jay and your intertwined hands.

"seeun." you said her name, pulling your hand away from jay out of instinct.

"save it, y/n. now i know that this is who's been keeping you so busy." seeun pointed at jay, "so busy that you can't hang out with your best friend."

"seeun i'm sorry! i didn't mean for it to be like this!" you tried to explain, but she turned on her heel and stormed through the crowd of students until she was gone. you turned and looked at jay, an upset expression on your face.

"go after her, i'm fine." jay smiled at you, nodding towards the direction where seeun went. you smiled at him, pulling him in for a kiss that made everyone gasp before you ran down the hall where seeun went.

you pushed into the girls bathroom where you saw her disappear to, her bent over figure leaning over the bathroom sink.

"seeun." your voice makes her head jolt up, a scowl on her face when she sees that it's you. "i'm sorry."

"you're sorry?" seeun says, standing up straight. "you have nothing to be sorry for y/n." she says in a mocked tone, "you're just throwing your life away with some misfit delinquent. go ahead! as if i care!"

"seeun!" you hiss at her, not believing the way she was speaking to you. "it's not like that! he's not like that!"

"he's not a misfit?" seeun laughs in your face, "then what the hell is he? and why is a girl like you dating a guy like park jay?"

god you were getting so sick of that phrase.

"because i'm a misfit too! i don't fit in in this society either! and that's all i ever wanted! i'm fucking happy seeun!"

seeun gasped at your confession before she scoffed, "who even are you?" she asked, shoving past you and exiting the bathroom.

you stood in silence with your jaw dropped open as you walked towards the mirror. you wiped your face from the fallen tears that managed to escape because of your best- ex best friend.

the toilet flushing in one of the stalls behind you made you stand up straight, looking at yoruself in the relection as if anything was fine.

park sieun with her pretty orange hair walked up behind you, washing her hands in the sink beside you.

"you shouldn't listen to her." she spoke to you for the first time in your whole high school career.

"what?" you asked confused, wondering if she even knew who she was talking to. sieun dried her hands before looking at you.

"don't listen to yoon seeun. it's hard for someone to be friends with her. she cares too much about fitting in in this world when that's so hard to do. once she realizes just how much of a 'misfit' someone is, she cuts them out of her life."

"oh." you nod, looking down at your hands, remembering that sieun and seeun use to be friends. "oh."

sieun smiles at your realization, "i'm a misfit too y/n, believe it or not. so don't listen to seeun. and i think it's cool that you're dating jay, whether or not your high school reputations allow it or not, who cares, just have fun."

you smile at her words, feeling a bit better now that you've realized just how much high school stereotypes and cliques can really ruin a person.

"thank you sieun, really."

"it's no problem." she shakes her pretty head, "good luck on your exams." she pats your shoulder and leaves the bathroom as the bell rings.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

within the last few days of high school, yoon seeun had already found a new 'best friend' as she sat with her at yours and seeun's old cafeteria table. it made your stomach feel sick when you walked in and someone sitting in 'your' spot. you really were just so replaceable to seeun.

an arm wrapped around your shoulder as the frown your deepened at the sight, "just come sit with us outside, it'll be fun." jay spoke from behind you, making you smile up at him.

hanging out with jay and the rest of the 'misfits' was something you never thought that you'd do. but fitting in with them was a lot easier than fitting in with the rest of the world.

jake apologized for the last time you had partied with them, feeling guilty for being such an asshole drunk. but you only smiled and hugged him, catching the wink jay threw to you over his shoulder.

you fit in with the rest of the boys so much that it made them even want to study for their exams. so you all made flashcards and makeshift quizzes and studied in heeseung's bedroom until you rotted.

they all groaned when you told them they had more questions to do, but in the end it worked out the best for them.

jay, sunghoon and jake all graduated that year with you, all of them thankful that you had become their tutor. they had joined heeseung at the local state college, grateful that somewhere had accepted them with their last minute grades.

you ended up getting accepted into a university a few hours away from seoul, wanting to still get away from your strict parents.

the boys were sad that they wouldn't see you as much. it put worry on you and jay for how much you'd see eachother by being hours away from each other everyday.

but you made a promise to call and to visit once a month.

and you were perfect with that.

because you and jay need each other.

your relationship can work through the distance as it's worked through the changes you had to make for the better of the both of you.

you were too good and he was too bad- you had to find the balance through each other.

and now park jay hates everyone except for you (and maybe heeseung)