AAAAAG LOOK HOW CUTE

Thinking about batboys doing average father-son activities with Bruce.

Dick and Bruce go shopping. Alfred did, does and, probably, will do it until the end of time, but since Dick lives in Blüdhaven he prefers to do it by himself. Sometimes Bruce offers help, sometimes Dick accepts it. At such moments, Dick lets Bruce pay and completely enjoys his nepo baby life. Bruce still doesn't know the value of money and can't estimate the cost of groceries, Dick still likes being wheeled around on a cart. He barely fits in there and the rest of the customers look at them weirdly, but Bruce has been used to close attention and has never been able to turn Dick down. They recklessly rush through the departments while new articles about the eccentric Brucie appear in the newspapers, then both get scolded by Alfred for buying all sorts of useless junk.

Jason and Bruce read together. Wayne's library is one of a few places in the mansion where Jason appears regularly and willingly. They don't even talk, just sit in one room, mostly in silence, punctuated by snorting or brief comments. Bruce has a lot of books he planned to read but always put off, so he uses this time to good advantage. Jason acknowledges his existence with a slight nod and on good days sits closer, almost enough to be in Bruce's space. Jason often rereads books, writes notes on transparent stickers that Alfred gave him and chews a pencil, thinking. Sometimes Bruce finds books on the table in his cabinet, the same transparent sticker invariably says "You would like it" with a postscript in smaller letters at the bottom "or not, I don't care". Bruce always smiles softly, adding it to the top of his list.

Tim and Bruce go to the skate park. They both wear sunglasses and casual clothes, but those few parents who come with children still whisper to each other. For the first few times it's kind of awkward, Bruce is unsure what to do and Tim isn't used to attention from his parents, but they cope. Bruce ruffles Tim's hair, enjoying the way his eyes light up, and tries his best not to jump up every time Tim falls. He wears a protective gear set, Bruce insisted, and they both know that Red Robin has been through the worst, but Bruce has little control over the mother hen regime. In the evening, coming home, they buy ice cream and coffee for the night extracurricular activities, and if Tim pretends to be asleep while Bruce carries him out of the car, no one mentions it.

Damian and Bruce go to the cinema. Damian isn't used to pop-culture, and Dick is convinced that this tragedy should be solved. Damian says it's a senseless waste of time and he has more significant stuff to do, but always looks forward to these days. It's mostly cartoons, ideally with animals in the main roles. Damian loves cartoons, and he is less ashamed of admitting it when Bruce says he loves them too. They eat something that Alfred would disapprove of, stay for a short time after the credits and constantly walk home by foot. Damian doesn't ask for uppies, he would never, Bruce picks him up and puts him on his shoulders anyway. Damian likes to be on high, for Bruce it's not even a workout, just a warm-up weight and he tries not to think bitterly that he isn't able to do this with his other children anymore. Sometimes they talk quietly, sometimes just enjoy each other's company. Sometimes Damian falls asleep, knowing perfectly well his father won't let him fall, and Bruce holds him tightly to not let him down.

It's weirdly cozy for their life, almost normal. It's not better, they would choose vigilante life anyway, they already did, but it's nice to feel from time to time. They appreciate it, even if they don't say it out loud.

Alfred honestly can’t say shit about Bruce bringing in strays, because what if the Waynes got him the same way?

I genuinely can’t recall HOW Alfred, British special forces extraordinaire, ended up working for Gotham’s (scary) sweethearts.

In my mind, he came to them bleeding.

There’s a tang of bitterness pooling in his gut. Soldiers don’t have friends. They have guns. And he’s all out.

Just when Alfred thought all is in peril, a tiny little hand gently covers a nasty bullet hole on his abdomen.

The first thing Alfred thinks about is: ‘Jesus, this kid has scary eyes.’

“Hi, Alfred.”

“…How do you—“

“Bruce! Jesus FUCKING Christ, I swear, I’m not paying for your ransom next time you run o—…What the fuck is that?”

If there’s one thing about Thomas that Alfred will never forget is his voice; The bass , so chasmic and powerful it could shake the whole world, and the burning care in his eyes despite his vulgarity.

Bruce, — who’s the tiniest bundle of a boy Alfred witnessed, is yanked up by his father’s strong hands, squeezed to his chest carefully. “Hurt,” he says. There’s a tiny, red handprint on Thomas’ shirt.

“Yeah, I didn’t notice,” Thomas mumbling, looking around.

Maybe local gangs? The bullet point is too precise, too calculated. “Who the hell are you?”

Alfred, with his raspy breath, says, “I’m the terribly rude bloke dying on your doorstep, I’m afraid. Alfred Pennyworth. At your service.”

For a guy who’s about to bleed his last, he sounds awfully sarcastic.

“Yeah, wise guy, no one’s dying on my kid’s birthday. Bruce, tell Dotty to prep up the basement. And tell your mama to get my Budlight out of the cooler. Jesus Christ.”

Alfred ends up hoisted on this man’s back. Thomas asks if he has anyone he wants to call? Anyone that’ll come pick him up? Anyone to bury him, if it comes to it.

Alfred whispers he does not.

Thomas sighs. “Well. Kid‘a been asking for a playmate.”

at the very least, you should be required to at least read “robin: son of batman” before writing damian wayne.

man, zdarsky would really write a great series for tim if he could, right? *sigh*

Reading fantasy again, I've started thinking about how odd it is how in books like that, the non-human races invariably scoff at human frailty and vulnerability, even those that they'll call friends. Like that's mean?? Why would you be a dick to your friend who you know is not capable of as much as you are, and it's not their fault they were born like that. That's mean.

Like consider the opposite: Characters of non-human races treating their human companions like frail little old dogs. Worrying about small wounds being fatal - humans die of small injuries all the time - or being surprised that humans can actually eat salt, even if they can't stomach other spicy rocks. Being amazed that a human friend they haven't seen in 10 years still looks so young, they've hardly aged at all! And when the human tries to explain that they weren't going to just unexpectedly shrivel into a raisin in 10 years, the longer-lifespan friend dismisses this like no, he's seen it happen, you don't see a human for 10 or 20 years and they've shriveled in a blink.

Elves arguing with each other like "you can't take her out there, she will die!" and when the human gets there to ask what they're talking about, they explain to her that the journey will take them through a passage where it's going to be sunny out there. Humans burn in the sun. And she will have to clarify that no, actually, she'll be fine. They fight her about it, until she manages to convince them that it's not like vampires - humans only burn a little bit in the sun, not all the way through. She'll be fine if she just wears a hat.

Meanwhile dwarves are reluctant to allow humans in their mines and cities, not just out of being secretive, but because they know that you cannot bring humans underground, they will go insane if they go too long without seeing the sun. Nobody is entirely sure how long that is, but the general consensus is three days. One time a human tries to explain their dwarf companion that this is not true, there are humans that endure much longer darkness than that. As a matter of fact, in the furthest habited corners of the lands of the Northmen, the winter sun barely rises at all. Humans can survive three weeks of darkness, and not just once, but every single year.

"Then how do they sane?" Asks the dwarf, and just as he does, the conversation gets interrupted by the northland human, who had been eavesdropping, and turns to look at them with an unnerving glint in her colourless grey eyes, grinning while saying

"That's the neat part, we don't."

riz gukgak is the character of all time. he's a goblin. he has a gun. he's in high school. he's saved the world multiple times. he's died before. he carries a briefcase with him everywhere. he threatened to eat a dragon. he refuses to stop investigating mysteries because otherwise he would have to deal with his grief over his dad's death. he did fantasy cocaine in a floating pirate city. he lied about having a romance partner and then got kidnapped by the manifestation of that lie. he tattooed clues all over his body in case his memory got wiped. he doesn't know how to connect with his friends outside of life-threatening situations. he has abandonment issues. his dead dad is a secret agent for heaven. he's canonically hot. he throws up when he's nervous. his nickname is the ball. he loves his mom. he hisses at things. he ran over a guy with his friend's van. he brought back an eldritch entity because he can't let a mystery go. he's even aroace.

Red Hood’s all about keeping his secret identity from almost everyone, right?

He’s going to all his meetings with the hood on and never lets any of his ‘business partners’ or goons or allies unrelated to the bats see his face, right???

He either gains enough trust or completely forgets to put it on as he walks in on his goons, his gang, if you will.

They all just kinda side eye this kid who just walked in and started ordering around until one of them finally speak up questioning this kids existence and whatnot. Hood whips around to yell at them for their insubordination but goes to run his hands through his hair or something and is genuinely surprised when his fingers DO go through his hair. So he just walks out of the room in a huff until he walks back in and says the exact thing. All the goons immediately burst into action and don’t question the kid who walked in and said the exact same thing moments ago…

In another instance he forgets his hood under his arm and starts addressing everyone but this time they react a bit more aggressively. This time he just sighs and puts the hood on his head. It’s an instant reaction but Doofenshmertz style, “a kid with a hood giving us orders?” To, “Red Hood giving us orders!”

Tim sees it this time and never lets him live it down, periodically calling him Perry the Platypus.

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

Source

This is pretty cool