Rating Band Names Based On Their Accuracy:

Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

More Posts from Geista-was-stolen and Others

geista-was-stolen

1 year ago

shoutout to the aromantics who don't feel love at all. shoutout to the aromantics who feel love deeply but not in the way society wants us to. shoutout to the aromantics who are repulsed by romance. shoutout to the aromantics who are romance positive. shoutout to aromantics who have conflicting feeling about romance. shoutout to aromantics that are neutral about romance. shoutout to aromantics in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who aren't in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who are also asexual or aspec. shoutout to aromantics who are allosexual. shoutout to aromantics with conflicting identities. shoutout to aromantics who are questioning. shoutout to aromantics who are in relationships. shoutout to aromantics who are happy not in a relationship.

shoutout to every aromantic person reading this because you are valid and a welcome part of the queer community no matter who you are or what you identify as. you are so loved and appreciated <33

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geista-was-stolen

8 months ago

Tweet from Defend the Atlanta Forest @defendATLforest (15 November 2023):

The most important story of the #BlockCopCity action is not the police aggression, which was expected.

It is the methods and tactics used by protesters to keep one another safe, effectively preventing any arrests or injuries. Let's take a closer look. 🧵

[Embedded image is a photo of a formation of protesters wearing dark clothes and face coverings and head protection, either black knit hats or helmets with protective goggles. Some wear white protective coveralls. Some carry black umbrellas. Two long horizontal banners of white fabric stretched across PVC pipe frames are collectively carried across the formation on diagonals leading to a central vertex. Black text reads, in all caps: "We are the people's stop work order" and "Block Cop City." These framed banners are tall enough to cover the people carrying them from shin to shoulder. At the center point between the two banners, one person carries a square board like a shield, painted black with "Black Lives Matter" spray painted on it in white in all caps.]

Tweet continuing thread from Defend the Atlanta Forest @defendATLforest:

Clothing: many protesters wore matching white coveralls. Many others wore muted or neutral colors. By blending in with one another, activists make it more difficult for police to target vulnerable people in the crowd.

[A photo of a group of protesters wearing white coveralls as well as other PPE including face masks and gloves. Many carry flags or banners on poles.]

Tweet continuing thread from Defend the Atlanta Forest @defendATLforest:

Reinforced banners/umbrellas: Using structured signage and lightweight umbrellas, protesters were able to withstand police charges, batons, pepper balls, rubber bullets, flashbang grenades, and mace.

[A photo of group of protesters and a line of cops pushing against each other, the cops in black riot gear using clear riot shields and the protesters using the frame of their "Defend the Forest - Defund the Police" banner as a long makeshift shield. Some of the fabric of the banner is torn off from the frame, but the PVC frame itself is intact. Protesters behind the front line are carrying large black umbrellas.]

Tweet continuing thread from Defend the Atlanta Forest @defendATLforest:

Glasses/masks/respirators: aside from concealing the identities of vulnerable activists from hate groups and other opponents of emancipation struggles, these defensive tools allowed protesters to withstand pepper spray and tear gas.

[A photo of a group of protestors wearing protective gear including coveralls, glasses, face shields, masks, respirators, black umbrellas. Two protestors at the front of the line carry square wooden panels painted black with "Black Lives Matter" and "Fuck The Police." Along the side of the group, many protesters collectively carry a horizontal banner of white fabric stretched across a PVC frame, but the text is not readable from the angle the image is taken]

Tweet continuing thread from Defend the Atlanta Forest @defendATLforest:

Formation: the front of the crowd marched in a V-shaped "wedge", allowing the crowd to advance through obstructive lines of militarized police without causing or incurring any injuries or bodily harm.

[A photo taken from behind two cops in all black, one carrying a plastic riot shield. In front of them, a V-shaped wedge formation approaches, holding two long horizontal banners in front of themselves to form each arm of the V. The banners read "Defend the Forest - Defund the Police" and "[We] are the [People's] Stop Work Order" in all caps.]

Tweet continuing thread from Defend the Atlanta Forest @defendATLforest:

Heat-resistant gloves: by wearing gloves, some participants were able to pick up tear gas canisters shot at the crowd and to throw them out of the way, minimizing harm and suffering. Such canisters tend to be hot enough to burn the skin.

[GIF of a tear gas canister being tossed from inside a large cloud of smoke, in a large arc back out toward a group of police in khaki militarized tactical gear.]

Tweet continuing thread from Defend the Atlanta Forest @defendATLforest:

Confidence: the most important tool for crowds facing state repression is their ability to inspire and motivate themselves through joint action, clarity of purpose, respect for differences, and clear metrics for success/failure. "Don't panic, stay tight. We will be all right!"

[A photo of a group of protesters standing at the edge of a forested area. They are mostly blocked from sight behind two large horizontal banners held in a V formation reading "Defend the Forest - Defund the Police" and "We are the People's Stop Work Order" in all caps. The protesters are carrying many large black umbrellas above the group as well as some colorful flags/banners on poles]

Tweet continuing thread from Defend the Atlanta Forest @defendATLforest:

Unpredictability: by using creative messaging, methods, pacing, and routes, activists were able to spread police resources thin. Police were not prepared for the continuous momentum of the march and ended up teargassing themselves.

[GIF panning from a large cloud of tear gas, inside which silhouettes of many people are visible, to a crowd of police in full militarized tactical gear, carrying either clear plastic riot shields or automatic weapons, retreating away from the cloud. As they retreat, one of them calls out a warning about the gas and yells for them to "turn around"]

Tweet continuing thread from Defend the Atlanta Forest @defendATLforest:

In the coming years, liberation struggles will have to draw from experiences + intelligence of protest movements + uprisings around the world. In Atlanta, activists would do well to assume the illegal intent of the administration and to prepare accordingly. #StopCopCity
/thread

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geista-was-stolen

10 months ago

in like 5-8 years when gen alpha starts really making fun of gen z no one is allowed to complain because like 99% of people do nothing but treat those kids like shit

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geista-was-stolen

1 year ago

It's so incredibly funny to me that somehow some people think Tim is a boring straightlace and Jason is deranged and unhinged

Like Jason at his worst is a murderous crime lord who also has a moral conscience, protects children and sex workers, works to make the worst parts of Gotham safer and wants to know that his dad cares

Tim at his worst on the other hand.... Rampant murder with NO morals, becomes Batman and uses the gun that killed Bruce's parents, dictator, takes over like half of America, goes back in time like a couple times to tell his younger self that this is their inevitable end just to fuck with HIMSELF

Jason at his best is the happy robin, loves school, cares for sex workers becomes a crime lord to help make sure the people who are addicted aren't being given toxic shit

Tim at his best is entirely unhinged, stalking Batman and Robin through the streets, blackmailing Batman, all the young justice shenanigans, creating a fake uncle to avoid adoption, beefing with a like 9 year old (deserved imo 9 year olds are MEAN), lies to everyone including batman and take pride in it

Like besties one is exponentially more of a black sheep and it isn't the drug lord, it's the heroic sidekick of batman

Yes Jason is still out on the streets wildin and feral but I don't think people give enough credit to how normal he is for his background

Yes Tim is CEO but he's also been 17 for years and probably has taken cocaine to see what it felt like

Tags

sense8 sex but not sexual lmao i dunno if that makes sense but you know

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geista-was-stolen

1 year ago

they don’t talk about what the others say/do if they get gassed by scarecrow

the screams and pleas to people who are no longer here, the fact that dick climbs up buildings and tries to catch people who aren’t there

that tim acts so eerily calm on the gas, that the only way they could tell is that he wasn’t verbally responding along with his skyrocketing heart rate, and then the screams that come when he finally sleeps

it was when it took five of them to keep jason from trying to rebury himself after a rough dosage that they decided to actually talk about it

how cass has memories and sees blood from her only kill, over and over, feeling and seeing his anguish without a single word spoken

steph’s was being trapped in a hospital bed, she can feel bruce and tim mourning beside her, she’s screaming to be let out but can’t move

duke watches his parents get gassed by the joker, over and over, he’s never able to reach them. never able to save them, no matter how hard he tries

damian’s mind fills with hisses of how he’s betraying his bloodline, either path he chooses, one side is full of shame. anytime he’s gassed, it’s a toss up on who’s delivering the blows

bruce reveals that his mistakes flash through him, he constantly sees the heartbreak he inflicted onto his family, in field and out of, how sometimes it’s his own parents, coming and showing their disapproval, with how he’s failed

they spend the rest of the night in the main living room, covered in large blankets and drinking tea, just embracing the silent company of the others,

the comfort in the knowledge that they all know and have felt and yet, they all are still here

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geista-was-stolen

11 months ago

age 16: the world isn't worth living in

age 24: been getting into greek yogurt & birdwatching lately

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geista-was-stolen

1 year ago

My work boots are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned.

Also the most comfortable. I chose them after trying on several different brands and comparing lifespan vs usage vs comfort - I needed them for a physically demanding job, not the weekend hiking trails. I could have easily chosen cheaper boots that would have lasted long enough to be worth their low price, but I know the Sam Vimes Boot Theory and knew weaker, less comfortable boots would make my life harder in the long run.

So when the outside edge of the heel started wearing down after three years of heavy use I went to the shop I got them from and said “hey this is a common problem for me with how I walk but now it’s affecting my ankles and knees and I don’t wanna have to buy a new pair, is there a way to fix this?”

The salesman at this very fancy upscale boot store said “oh yeah, there’s a shoe repair place that can give you some heel guards - it’ll keep the rubber from wearing out.”

So at 8am this morning right after my 9hr shift ends I went to the shoe repair shop and it is the most hole-in-the-wall, is-this-a-real-business-or-a-mafia-front, am-I-gonna-get-shot tiny cinder block cube I’ve ever seen in my life. I grew up plenty poor and love me a good hole-in-the-wall business, but going from upscale store to this cash-only repair shop gave me whiplash. Wasn’t expecting this when a guy who wears three piece suits to sell boots said it’s the best place to go.

The skinny kid behind the counter looks somehow 16 and 25 at the same time, but when I tell him this place was recommended he smiles and says to hand over my boots. I hand him the vaguely warm foot-smelling boots, and stand in my socks in the 3’ square entryway surrounded by every color leather polish you could buy and watch as he turns my boots around in his hands, sizes up a crescent moon bits of plastic, and unceremoniously hammers tiny nails through them before handing them back.

The heels are perfectly level again. I can walk without almost rolling my ankles. They don’t clack loudly on the pavement or feel different. This is gonna fix my knee pain. It cost $10.

This kid had every tool he needed within arms reach, worked fast and smoothly, I was in and out the door in less than 8 minutes, and it only cost $10.

I didn’t think anything could cost only $10 anymore. I’m so used to hyperinflation prices I was spiritually thrown back to the 1400’s visiting the cobbler in town square. This kid might have been that cobbler and just decided to never die.

I’m still reeling from the whiplash, and gobsmacked at the price, and thrilled I didn’t have to go buy new, worse work boots (cuz I don’t have that kind of money for a second pair, I’m expecting these ones to last a decade) and it feels like I just experienced one of the rare little chunks of magic that floats around our world.

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