I actually hate that I can’t learn shit.
I’ve been tested for everything from autism to ADHD, for every learning disability that exists and is out there, and I have none of them, none. I got tested, I’m cognitively above average in everything except for math, where I scored the exact average. I pick up patterns and gain info from context clues instinctively. There’s literally no reason for me to be unable to learn anything.
I’m also 26 and can’t read an analogue clock. I know that when all the pointers are pointing to 12 then it’s 12, and if one pointer points at 12 and the other one points to a different hour, then it’s probably that hour, but other than that, it’s all white noise to me. I literally can’t learn valuable skills or information purely because they’re valuable. It’s IMPORTANT and USEFUL to know what time it is, and therefore I can’t learn it.
There is literally no cognitive reason for me to be like this.
I can’t tell you how much I love this artwork from ancient Egypt (the Middle Kingdom). People have been raising cattle and practicing animal husbandry for so long, that there is something almost inherently human about this scene.
Everyone in the field of veterinary medicine or agriculture knows the feeling of staying up late with a laboring animal trying to make sure both mom and baby are okay. Delivering a calf is often physically and emotionally exhausting work that takes enormous patience and learned skill. It requires a unique balance of physical strength and gentleness to do correctly. There is no feeling quite like getting that baby out and everyone is okay. I’m certain ancient people must have felt the same way, and I wonder if the artist knew this feeling firsthand. I wonder if those humans depicted were people the artist knew, if the cow and calf maybe were as well.
ANTI-CAPITALIST AFFIRMATIONS
i am allowed to spend my time creating things, even if they are not beautiful.
there is no such thing as a "real job." all forms of work are real and valid.
there is nothing that i need to accomplish to be worthy. i am already worthy.
doing nothing is good for my soul.
i am not defined by what i produce.
my worth cannot be measured by my paycheck, my job title, or a list of professional or academic achievements.
i do not need to monetize my hobbies, it is enough to spend time doing something i love.
i will not let society decide what success looks like. i can define what successful life looks like for me.
29 | asexual aromantic agender | she/they/its sie/dey/es I like Bob's Burgers, knitting, sewing and reading
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