The Autistic Charlie Kelly (sorta) Masterpost:

"Not everything is about your autism."

Actually it is. My autism effects:

How I see the world, including light sensitivity

How I interact with the world, including difficulties with social interaction, speech difficulties and processing disorders

How I feel the world around me, including hyposensitivity or hypersensitivity to temperature, pain, or stimuli as well as proprioception which can make it difficult for me to physically navigate the world

How I feel my body, including interoception which can lead to missed meals, dehydration, and even urinary urgency (which is a problem just by itself) because I don't notice the signals my body gives

How I relate to those around me, due to my alexithymia, so often I feel nothing or can not work through the bodily sensations that indicate emotions.

How I cope with the world, including needing to stim, escape noises others may not hear, or requiring accommodations to help me survive an "average" day

How I rest after a normal day, including delayed sleep onset, reduced melatonin and increased cortisol, making getting to sleep a 2 hour long endeavour and staying asleep a task unto itself

So yes.

This is all about my autism.

these bitches r always autistic

my astigmatism lets me see beautiful angels before i drive into oncoming traffic

Interesting how pi day comes before kill Caesar day, almost as if they used the same knives from cutting pies to stab Caesar

Harris Rosenblum Relic of the Corrupted Blood 2022

Soy based resin, cosmetic prosthetic, latex, french green cosmetic clay, aerosol hairspray, water gilding media (individual serving dehydrated bone broth, french green cosmetic clay, cosmetic kaolin, rabbit skin glue granules, terracotta clay), SD cards (contains archive of World ofWarcraft patch 1.7.0 (corrupted blood plague), 1.7.1 (plague fix) and interstitial script), USG drywall filler, automotive filler primer, wax.

i love this type of post

guys do not type 32 x 25 into a calculator its so fucking scary

so the thing about english is that people think it's so divorced from other germanic languages based on like. words. I've even heard people try to insist that english is a romance language. because of that whole messy business in 1066 with out-of-wedlock willy and his band of naughty normans. and now a good chunk of the vocabulary is french or whatever and they're prestigious so not using them makes you sound like a rube and this and that and the other

and yes william the conqueror will never be safe from me. I will have my revenge on him. he fucked up a perfectly good germanic language is what he did. this will be me in hell

but the thing is that most words in, say, german do have a one to one english equivalent. not all hope is lost, for those who still dare to see it. it's just that you 1066pilled normancels aren't looking in the right place

dog (en) ≠ der Hund (de) but der Hund (de) -> hound (en)

look with your special eyes. that one was easier. not all of them are this intuitive because of semantic narrowing and broadening and waltzing and hokey-pokeying and whatever else. I'll give you a few more

animal (en) ≠ das Tier (de)

aha! you think. I've got him on the ropes now.

but then

das Tier (de) -> deer (en)

nooooo!! you whine and cry in gay baby jail. the consonants are different!!! listen to me. listen, I say, putting both my hands on your shoulder. /t/and /d/ are the same sound. you just put your voice behind one of them.

nooooooooo!! you wail. deer are animals but not all animals are deer!!! listen to me. LISTEN. they used to be. animals used to be deer. that's just what we called them. it was a long time ago. it was a weird time in all our lives. it's okay.

let's try for a verb this time

to die (en) ≠ sterben (de) but sterben (de) -> to starve

same principle with the consonants, we're just changing a stop (where we completely stop the airflow and then let it through) for a fricative (where we still let some air go through. idk where it's going. maybe to its job or something.)

to starve used to mean generally to die, not just to die of malnourishment. we do that a lot. we take one word for a lot of things and make it mean one thing. or take one word for one thing and make it mean a lot of things. this is common and normal.

"okay but roland," you say, suddenly coming up with an argument. "what about tree? trees are super common. I don't think we'd fuck around too much with that. the german word is baum! what about THAT?"

"when did you learn german?" I ask, but then decide it isn't relevant right at this very moment. but fine.

tree (en) ≠ der Baum (de) but der Baum (de) -> beam (en)

beam??? you ask incredulously. beam???? BEAM?????? you continue with the same tone and cadence of captain holt from brooklyn 99.

yes. beam. like the evil beams from my eye I'm going to hit you with if you don't stop shouting.

but the vowels!!! you howl.

listen. listen to me. the vowels mean nothing. absolutely nothing. they're fluid like water. it got raised in english.

"WHAT DOES RAISED MEAN"

it doesn't matter right now. they were raised better than you, at least. stop shouting. open your eyes and see what god has given you. they're the same word.

"they're NOT the same word. they mean different things!"

we've been over this. they didn't used to. a beam was (and is) a long solid piece of wood. much like the long solid piece of wood I showed your mother last night.

FAQ:

Q: could english be some kind of germanic-romance hybrid?

A: do you become a sexy thing from the black lagoon just because you dressed up as one for halloween? english may have gotten a lot of vocabulary from norman french, but its history and syntax are distinctly germanic. that's what we base these things on.

Q: okay but what does it matter? this doesn't actually affect my day to day life

A: you come into my house? you come into my house, the house of an autistic man living in vienna austria and studying english linguistics and you ask me what does it matter? sit back down. I was going to let you go but now I have powerpoints to show you

Q: you're stupid and wrong and gay and a bad person

A: I know it's you, Willy