G3nd3rflu1db1tch - Untitled

My tattoo artist told me his teenage son came out to him as trans by giving him a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

"That's cute," I said.

"It was NOT cute!" he snapped. "I thought he was pregnant."

My girlfriend doesn’t remember this but the way we started dating is quite literally an enamies to friend to lovers pipeline.

Said pipeline goes as follows

In 6th grade math class we had to do an assignment with a partner and my favorite person happened to be in that class so obviously I was gonna pair up with her, but she had decided to do it with somebody else instead. My autistic 11 year old self thought of this as a rejection and so I didn’t bother trying to find somebody else to partner up with.

Well doing the assignment myself wasn’t an option for some reason so the teacher tried to pair me up with the only other kid that didn’t have a partner. But because this person wasn’t me favorite person I couldn’t work with them. So I threw a fit and was sent to the little side room that the classroom had to fill out a “green sheet” (basically a behavior sheet).

So I did that and then sulked under the table because what else was I to do. About half way through the class the teacher being the kid in with the paper and leaves us to it. Despite how much I hated it I worked with my now mortal enemy (at least in my mind) to complete the paper. At the end of class we leave and go about our lives (and the teacher ripped up the green sheet so like what was even the point of having me do it wtf miss Gardner)

I ignore the kid in the halls because I am incapable of letting go of anything and for some reason I saw the fact that the teacher forced us to work together as their fault. Covid hits, school closes, Covid more or less ends, school reopens and the kid is in my choir class.

Time has passed so I’m more or less Indifferent to their existence in my space. My friends become friends with them tho so over the course of a month or so I become friends with them. Then in November my boyfriend at the time tells me that my now girlfriend has a crush on me. My bf was poly and so our relationship was kind of an open deal so after class I decided to ask the person about it.

WELL APPARENTLY WHILE I HAD MY HEADPHONES IN BEFORE TALKING TO THEM ABOUT IT THEY STRAIGHT CONFESSED TO ME AND I JUST DIDNT HEAR IT. SO HERE I AM LIKE AN ASSHOLE LIKE A MINUTE AFTERWARDS GOING “hey so, Kodi said you have a crush on me. Is that true?” AND THIS ABSOLUTE SAINT JUST GOES “yeah. I just told you that”

So anyways like the idiot who didn’t know I was aromantic yet I was at the time I asked them if they wanted to date. They say yes, we start dating, a year later she tells me she’s trans, nada bing bada boom I have a girlfriend with a gorgeous flower name (Dahlia), she has a fucking idiot as a partner and life’s all good.

Then I decided to tell my best friend (the favorite person from 6th grade the worked with somebody else forcing me to work with my now gf [thanks Janie couldn’t have done it without you]) about the whole story and this mf says “oh so like real life enemies to lovers. Your love story is a fanfic trope”.

And oh my god.

I both hate and love that fact with all my heart

(Dahlia my love if you see this I’m sorry I was such a cunt in 6th grade)

The sonadow game.

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

hey do you have a tumblr

no sorry

Stop giving it money

Another awesome thing about her is that she’s bisexual and non-binary. She has a hoodie she routinely wears that says “I’m not a boy or girl I’m dead” with a skull wearing a crown theory the colors of the nonbinary flag in it. I once found nonbinary colored yarn at Joann’s and her reaction was “oh that one’s my favorite” (referring to the flag) and today while she was shopping she said

“Oh by the way I’m telling you this because the internet told me to but I’m sure you already know, I don’t care what gender you are, especially because I don’t technically have one”

She often makes jokes about threesomes with her friends, she has a “girlfriend” from her old job and refers to one of their friends that has the same name as my dad as her “second husband”

On my first day of cross country my dad said “don’t flirt with any boys” and my reply was ew and my mom immediately followed up with “don’t flirt with any girls”. I never had to come out to this woman she just went of vibes and has bought my pride stuff in the past.

We went to a pride fest thing because it was happening in the same city as a concert we were going to, she also took me to a pride march my partner at the time was holding and flipped off MULTIPLE people that were being dicks.

She’s literally amazing and I love her so fucking much

The sad part about my mom not posting on social media or really doing anything on it is that so many people are missing out on the absolute CUNT the woman serves on the daily.

Not like in the way she dresses but in like the way she ACTS. She is so sassy and it’s is so amazing. I’ll add more to this post as time goes on but right now there is one main thing in my mind that I just HAVE to put out there.

So I have a job. Which mean I make money. And my parents singed me up for a debit card. The plan was originally gonne be getting me a card with a limit of how much I can put on it, like a refillable visa gift card or something along those lines but they singed me up for a debit card instead because they didn’t really communicate beforehand.

So I have bad spending habits because of impulsivity and the fact that I have access to online shopping now. So over the span of three days I received 4 packages. I was in the car with my mom when we stopped at the mailbox and pulled one of them out and my response was very quickly “I don’t even remember what I bought” because I genuinely didn’t remember.

My mother reaction, no hesitation, was “you aren’t allowed to go online after taking your meds anymore” (referring to the very high power sleep meds I take because of chronic insomnia). I know reading it over text might not be as impactful to you guys but I was absolutely DYING laughing.

It got even better when the next day I got another package that I once again didn’t remember ordering and I SAID “yeah no I’m gonna start turning off my phone when I take my meds”

(Again you guys might not find this funny but I think it’s absolutely hilarious)

Lmao my cousins literally called each other sissy and bubba up until they were into their teens and then there was me and my brother who barely even said each others name. The closest either of us got to a term of endearment was when I called him “dude”

I’m right and I should say it

Spoilers lol