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My cat has always had the worst timing. He'll jump up on my desk to cuddle at the very moment I'm about to get up to urgently go to the bathroom. He'll try to curl up with me in bed the very instant I need to get up and refill my glass of water and put some vaseline on my dry, sore lips. He'll ask me to play just at the second I need to end my break and get back to work.

The poor guy, right? From his perspective, he approaches me for love and I immediately get up and leave. I feel awful about it. I try to reassure him first that I love him and he just has bad timing, but I know it can't feel nice, and also he's too big of a dumbass to understand that me getting up and walking away isn't triggered by him coming to say hi.

Except today I realized something: Yes. It is.

I was sitting at my desk watching a video and up jumps the boy with a mrrp, head positioned for pets, when I realized I urgently had to get up and go to the bathroom. As I opened my mouth to say "bad timing again, buddy," it finally occurred to me that... I definitely already had to go. I for sure did not "suddenly" have an urgent need for the toilet out of fucking nowhere.

I didn't realize I needed to go because my brain is piloted by angry gremlins and they were more interested in watching the video than letting me know about an important bodily function.

My cat coming to say hi is a regular trigger that pulls me back into my body from whatever bullshit I'm hyperfocusing on. And that's when I realize all the warning lights are flashing on the dash. Need water. Need food. Need toilet. In pain: need to change position. Holy shit look at the time, need to get back to work!

I now wonder how much worse I'd function if I didn't have a furry little guy in my apartment to regularly remind me that I exist in a physical form which requires maintenance and also that time passes.

I do still feel bad for walking away from him every time, but I have started just inviting him to come with me. Hey bud, sorry, I have to stand up right now, but come follow me while I get a glass of water. You coming? Come on! And rewarding him with pats for following. It's better than just walking away, I think.

Anyway cats (or other pet of your choice that requires frequent attention)? 10/10, strongly encourage having a little guy to bother you now and then, especially if you have ADHD and live alone.

And under beating skies and gleaming hearts

Do we find ourselves torn apart

Gazing into sundered souls

Greaf reaps us at the bell's tolls

A rapture of desire and hate

Born of an apple once ate

A rib torn from its cage

And stabbed into ones heart with rage

I find that though you have hurt me

I still dream of your decree

The one you spoke before we loved

The one you handed to me gloved

Anyway if nothing else matters then I hope people remember that Pope Francis used his last public address to call for a ceasefire in Gaza and call Israel a terrorist state:

"I continue to receive very serious and painful news from Gaza. Unarmed civilians are subjected to bombings and shootings. It is terrorism."

laying in the communal dorm floor and telling my sad stories to ever joker who passes by

i just spent the last hours in this and let me tell you tears. like ahhhh, just nine please why did you have to make me feel emotions.

My grandma’s on and off again boyfriend that she cheated on grandpa with died today.

my roomate said paimon needs to be crushed up and turned into a smoothie and i disagree completely

paimon is just a little hungy floaty friend

Thats Revolting "Legalized Sodomy is Political Foreplay" by Patrick Califia

Im reading this book for the first time and first of all its really good and i reccommend it to everyone.

When i read "its too big a reminder of what we dont have in real life--justice, consent, loving kindness, acceptance, pleasure, attention." That hurt. And its because it resonates. Safe sane and consensual play is an escape from the forced conformity of a sexually desolate system. Its an outlet for the years of repression amd internalization of harmful norms and stereotypes.