I Salute The Flag.

I Salute The Flag.

I salute the flag.

More Posts from Frighteningphallus and Others

2 months ago
Misionero Comido Por Tigre, 1907, Noé León

Misionero Comido Por Tigre, 1907, Noé León

2 months ago
Humanoid raindrops link hands and dance in a circle on top of a blue and white umbrella.

rain dance ☔️

2 months ago

it's easier to apply for jobs than ever! so what if you lost your insurance, anyone can get a job these days, even without meds. everyone is hiring! there's a "good employee" shortage!

well you just need to revamp your resume, here's a paid app subscription that can read it for you. rewrite the cover letter they won't read. google jobs in my area and then scrawl through Monster/Indeed/worbly. did you want to save the search? this was posted 98 days ago. over 1 billion applicants! this position is trending.

jobs i actively like doing and get paid for. your search returned no results. easy-apply with HireSpin! easy apply with SparkFire! easy apply with PenisFlash! with a few short clicks, get your information stolen.

watch out! the first 98 links on google are actually scams! they're false postings. oopsie. that business isn't even hiring. that other one is closed permanently. find one that looks halfway legit, google the company and the word "careers". go to their page. scroll past brightly-lit diversity stock photo JOIN US white sans serif. we are a unique, fresh, client-focused stock value capitalism. we are committed to excellence and selling your soul on ebay. we are DRIVEN with POWER to INNOVATE our greed. yippee! our company has big values of divisive decision making, sucking our dicks, and hating work-life balances. our values are to piss in your mouth. sign here and tell us if you have gender issues so we can get ahead of the sexual harassment claim. are you hispanic although let's be real we threw out the resume when we saw your last name.

sign up to LinkHub to access updates from this company. make a HirePlus account to apply. download the PoundLink app. your account has been created, click the link we sent you in 15 minutes. upload that resume. we didn't read the resume, manually fill in the lines now. what is your expected pay grade. oh actually we want hungry people, not people driven by a salary. cut a zero off that number, buddy, this is about opportunity, and we need to be thrifty. highest level of education. autofill is glitching. here is an AI generated set of questions. what is your favorite part of our sexy, sexy company. how do you resolve conflict. will you get our company logo tattooed on your person. warning: while our CEO is guilty of wage theft, we will absolutely refuse to hire a nonviolent felon.

thank you for your interest at WEEBLIX. we actually already filled this position internally. we actually never had that posting. we actually needed you to have 9 years of experience and since you have 10 years we think it might be too many? we'll be texting you. we'll email you. we'll keep your resume. definitely absolutely we won't just completely ignore you. look at your phone, there's already a spam text from Bethany@stealyouridentity. they're hiring!

wait, did you get an interview? well that's special, aren't you lucky. out of 910 jobs you applied to, one answered, finally. and funny story! actually the position isn't exactly as advertised, we are looking for someone curious and dedicated. it's sort of more managerial. no, the pay doesn't change - you won't have any leadership title. now take this 90 minute assessment. in order to be a dog groomer, we need you to explain cell biology. in order to be a copyeditor, write a tiny dissertation about the dwindling supply of helium on the planet. answer our riddles three. great job! we just need to push this up to Tracy in HR who will send it to Rodney who is actually in charge. and then of course it's jay's decision and then greg will need to see you naked and if you survive you'll be given a drug test and a full anal examination.

and of course you'll be hungry this whole time, aren't you, months and months of the same shit. months of no insurance, no meds, no funding, barely able to afford the internet and the phone and the rent - all things you need in order to even apply for our thing. but do it again! do it again and again and again, until you flip inside out and turn into a being of pure dread!

you're not hired yet because you're lazy. there's over one million AI-generated hallucinated jobs in your area. don't worry. with zipruiter, hiring and firing is easier than ever. sign up. stay on-call.

in the meantime, little peon - why don't you just fucking suffer.

2 months ago

Me 5 seconds after my corpo mandated password change: Hey did you know mandated periodic password changes aren't considered good cybersecurity practice and in fact actually weaken password security? Just a funny little fact I thought you should know.

1 month ago

"disney BETTER stay away from (their own property)" Hey i have bad news for you. this isn't to say it's always been bad, just. dont be surprised. dont let it be a shock. dont give it that power

i get disney remakes are bad. i am very much on the side of "they are doing this purely to keep ownership or their IPs so of course they will be soulless, and as it is, adapting an animated film to live action is frustrating to see when it is surrounded by the narrative that live action is better or more work or more real (which is always the narrative) as opposed to an equally valid, if not more cumbersome, craft."

but ohhh my god seeing ppl break down the things wrong w lilo n stitch (cool fine yeah yes good to point those things out) and then be so Shocked abt it is making me insane. wdym you are suprised. yes disney darkening the skin of actors Is insane but why are we typing as though it is at all surprising. was i just more cynical from the get go. even ppl who agree with me going "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?" at every shitty change is like. Girl Why are you surprised. is this for the fun of it. is this your genuine reaction are you so shocked you have to yell and flail around.

i get it is fun to be reactive and loud abt how bad a movie is. that's fine. lowkey none of this matters but whyyyy do we waste energy going WHAT WHAT YOU RUINED MY CHILDHOOD WHAT ??? Girl Hey we already know disney uses performative wokeness as a shield to do whatever they want to spend less and make more. just cuz that terribleness is visible in a movie doesn't mean that now your childhood is ruined. it doesn't have to be black and white. you enjoyed lilo and stitch as a kid when it was the original story, the company went on to reuse it as soulless corporate propoganda. shrugs. that's it. your childhood is still intact.

2 months ago

Dear video essay creators. A video analysis is when you analyze a piece of media. No no look at me. A summary, no matter how thorough, is not an analysis. An analysis requires you to draw conclusions about the media such as authorial intent, real-world parallels, discussion about themes/worldbuilding/character motivation, and so much more. You have to stop summarizing something and saying that’s analysis. The Gaylors are doing more critical analysis than you. Is that who you want to lose to? The gaylors?

2 months ago
Hey. Does Anyone Know What The Fuck Is Going On

hey. does anyone know what the fuck is going on

1 month ago

I don’t think I can stress enough how many people on here need a hobby like 95% of what people refer to as jobless behavior is actually just hobbyless behavior. Take up watercolors or tabletop or join a hiking group or something you probably won’t feel as much of an incessant need to freak out on the internet every day

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frighteningphallus - sfw blog jumpscare
sfw blog jumpscare

hi this is a sfw sideblog on my horny acct, made for reblogs that don't fit me talking abt bears and cum.@scary-tdick

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