Hi Why Is No One Talking About This? Someone Sedate Me Pls

➤ OBLIVIOUS | F1 SMAU + FIC

pairing: f1 grid x albon!reader (platonic!)

summary: the f1 drivers make the mistake of saying they're always aware of their surroundings, so you start an Instagram account to prove them wrong...by seeing how long it takes them to realize you're taking photos of them.

warnings: none!

➤ MASTERLIST

Liked by alex_albon, georgerussell63, and others

visacashapprb Do your F1 drivers know when we're recording them? Or anyone, for that matter? Seems like the answer is yes! 

↳ yn_albon really @/alexalbon? 

↳ alex_albon I am very observant, thank you very much 

↳ yn_albon we'll see about that

↳ fan44 there's literally paparazzi footage of the drivers every other day, of course they notice, they just pretend like they don't

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Liked by yn_albon and others

oblivious_f1_drivers the guys said they know when they're being photographed, my camera roll says otherwise

↳ mclar_win Oscar's side eye is crazy 

↳ brocedes this HAS to be like George or someone proving a point

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers George wishes he was me

↳ fan16 this is either a prank or a stalker...watch out guys

_

Liked by alex_albon and others

oblivious_f1_drivers first up: dumb and dumber 🧡 i should start timing how long it takes for them to notice 

↳ alex_albon if I end up in one of these, I'm telling everyone 

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers no promises

↳ f1_fantatic alex, our chronically online king

↳ fan44 oscar and lando together = fork found in kitchen

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Liked by alex_albon and others

oblivious_f1_drivers in the lead as always, Max Verstappen comes in first by taking two days to notice!

↳ mclar_win max always has to be first, doesn't he?

↳ fan44 no wonder he looks so happy 

↳ mad_maxxx why is the second picture lowkey...

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Liked by alex_albon and others

oblivious_f1_drivers i got too cocky 😔 tried to go for the super close up and got caught :( current record: three days

↳ fan16 so both Max and Charles now know your identity??

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers they've already been sworn to secrecy

↳ carcarcar who could this be?? charles was happy to see them so it wasn't a stranger

↳ f1_fanatic i mean, alex is lurking in the likes 👀

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Liked by alex_albon, yn_albon, and others

oblivious_f1_drivers idk what made him more mad, the fact that he crashed or the fact he caught me

↳ alex_albon we had a promise 

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers i literally said no promises

↳ alex_albon get ready to give up this account 

↳ mclar_win it has to be George, right? 

↳ carcarcar if it were George he'd be smiling liked by oblivious_f1_drivers

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Liked by lando, georgerussell63 and others

oblivious_f1_drivers a week and a half for Mr. Lando Norris! i would've taken more but this man was too excited to catch me

↳ lando See? I'm very observant

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers it took you a week and a half to catch me

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers even alex got it in less time 

↳ alex_albon hey!

↳ georgerussell63 any chance I can beg for immunity?

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers send me photos of oblivious drivers, and then maybe we'll talk

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Liked by alex_albon and others

oblivious_f1_drivers someone tipped him off...at least I snuck one in

↳ alex_albon 😇

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers we could've had something, alex 

↳ alex_albon you're the one who broke their promise 

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers I NEVER PROMISED

↳ alex_albon wait why are you that close to lance in the third photo 

↳ alex_albon answer your texts!!

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Liked by lando, oscarpiastri, and others

oblivious_f1_drivers what's this? oscar finally noticed? after TWO WEEKS? enjoy all the photos

↳ oscarpiastri listen we have a lot to do during race weeks 

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers like pay attention to your photographers??

↳ oscarpiastri that's not even your job

↳ nicolepiastri so it's not just me being ignored?

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers @/oscarpiastri text your mom or I'm stealing her

↳ oscarpiastri will do 🫡

↳ brocedes so we KNOW its not a photographer

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Liked by alex_albon, georgerussell63 and others

oblivious_f1_drivers looks like we're not the ONLY oblivious ones #/hacked #/alexandgeorgehaveyourphone #/thebetteralbon

↳ yn_albon GEORGE???

↳ georgerussell63 why are you mad at me?? be mad at alex!

↳ alex_albon yeah george, how could you do this?

↳ f1_fanatic the albon siblings causing trouble on track as usual 

↳ lando payback for having to look over my shoulder all week

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You hold your hand out to Alex, who reluctantly drops your phone into your palm. Sometimes, you think, people forget you were actual siblings, who had just the same amount of fun annoying each other as any other pair of siblings in the world. The only difference, however, was that your brother happened to be a world-famous F1 driver, and you were a journalist trailing him around all day. 

So honestly? You were perfectly within your rights to post all those silly photos of him and his friends. After all, it was something to occupy you in the rare moments you weren't hearing about being an Albon, or growing up around all the drivers, or waiting for Alex to come to an interview ten minutes late because you couldn't really say anything about it.

"I can't believe you," You direct both towards Alex and George, checking to make sure they didn't mess with anything else on your phone. 

You had to give them some credit in their retaliation. Alex must have been sneaking photos of you all week, and then airdropped them to your phone to put onto your Instagram account. You'd never say that out loud, however.

Lord knows he didn't need the extra ego.

"Me?" Alex asks, looking rather insulted. "You're the one out here taking photos of us secretly." 

"You're the one who said you weren't oblivious. I've seen you walk into a pole! Be serious." There's a joke to be made about him walking into poles yet never getting pole, but that's a bit too harsh, even for you. 

"Be serious?" Alex parrots, rubbing a hand over his face. "Be serious! You are so lucky you're family, or I would've kicked you out of the paddock by now." 

With the same grin you'd been pulling on him since you were a kid, you force him to reconcile with the fact that he actually did this to himself. "Unfortunately, you did also get me a job with F1, so you couldn't even kick me out if you tried." 

"I'm sure they'd let me kick someone out if I needed to." He mutters, shaking his head, and before you can open your mouth, he raises a finger. "We're not making another bet about this." 

George, finally content with how the conversation has ended, speaks up. "I can't believe it took Oscar so long to notice." 

"I know, I thought it would be Charles." Alex answers honestly, and George pauses for a moment before turning to you.

"Should I be concerned I never caught you taking pictures of me?" His expression is stuck somewhere between the horror of potentially not noticing you and relief that you might have excluded him, considering the deal you struck up. To your surprise, George actually did supply you with oblivious photos of the drivers, a sort of double blackmail you can't wait to spring.

And, while he hasn't ended up on the account yet, there's still time.

He did help steal your phone, after all. He will pay. "I just didn't get to post yours. You're also pretty oblivious." 

"No, I'm not!" He says, pointing down at your phone. "We checked the camera roll, there was nothing of me on there!" 

"You think I'd leave those on my camera roll?" You ask with the same grin, now pointed at him. "Oh, I keep my secrets much more guarded, thank you." Alex offers a look, and you shove his shoulder. So maybe he had a point about you leaving your phone unattended around a man who knew the password and knew you ran a secret account, but still! "This secret doesn't count." 

"I'm sure it doesn't," Alex says with a laugh before leaning in closer. "Any good ones of George?" 

"Got one of him picking his nose?" 

With a screech you can only describe as inhuman, George loses all the colour in his face. "You do not!" Then, as he reaches for your phone, both you and Alex take a step back. "Albons, don't do this to me!" 

You and Alex are running before George even has a chance to catch up. 

It's a rare time Alex ever actually beats George in a race.

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Liked by lando, alex_albon, and others

oblivious_f1_drivers my cover has been blown :( it was fun while it lasted

↳ alex_albon I'm really glad I got you hired as a journalist and not a photographer, these are terrible

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers ow??

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers I can't even be a nepo sister in peace

↳ isackhadjar oh come on 

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers your expression captures how I feel, it deserves the first slide

↳ georgerussell63 hey, i thought we had a deal 

↳ alex_albon you made a deal with george and not me??

↳ oblivious_f1_drivers @/georgerussell63 the deal ended when YOU STOLE MY PHONE 

a/n: my friends have started playing photo tag on campus, which is the only way i can describe where this came from - enjoy?

you're going to die in your best friend's arms.

crush - richard silken // planet of love - richard silken

10 + botapinto 😁

brargentina yaoi served fresh.

Franco is only ever available when he’s bored. 

A 2am ‘u up?’ text and a quizzical emoji, sometimes a kissy face, sometimes a devil. Gabriel considers ghosting him, but Franco sends a pic, shirtless in a bathroom with droplet stains all across the mirror. The waistband of his shorts dips below his adonis belt, a trail of hair getting lost in the nether. And Gabi is only a man…

wanna come over

The question should get a no for an answer. It’s tiring being the casual hook up, the one night stand for the boring weekends. But Gabi stares at the picture again, thinking of the warmth of his mouth, the hunger of his body. His cock twitches in sympathy and he texts ‘only if you pay the uber’. One e-transfer later and he’s pressing the little call up button to let Franco know he’s downstairs, a buzz, a door opening and then two flights of stairs. 

“What took you so long?” Franco asks as he opens the door, naked save for flimsy boxers and white ankle high socks. 

Gabi doesn’t have time to answer, the door closes behind him and Franco’s mouth is on him, a desperate chase of lips and tongue, a hand cradling his neck, another reaching for his ass. 

The zipper of his jeans falls and so do his pants with them, his underwear is already strained, and Franco makes him take off his shirt with nails that feel like knives at his back. 

“God you are so hot,” Franco says before he’s leaning in, dragging teeth down his chest, kissing, licking, biting every inch of skin he can find. Franco’s painfully hard, his erection rubbing against Gabi’s thigh. He’s so fucking desperate, it’d be sort of pathetic if Gabi wasn’t so fucking turned on by it. 

“Let me fuck your mouth,” he blurts out, breathless by the sight of Franco’s flushed chest. 

“Another day,” Franco winks, taking Gabriel’s hand “I already prepped, come on.” 

The bedroom smells of vanilla air freshener and axe deodorant. Franco pushes Gabi to the bed, shrugs off his underwear like it’s on fire and climbs over him.  

“Are you even clean?” Gabi asks. 

Franco looks at him with a frown, deeply offended. “I’m not a prostitute, mate,” mate… you are trying to ride my dick and you are calling me mate, alright. “I’m clean as a fucking plate, you could eat off my ass.”

Gabi grimaces. “I’d rather not.”

He rolls his eyes, fumbling diva catching his breath before a performance. “Shut the fuck up.” Franco places Gabriel’s hands on his waist before he settles in, hand reaching for Gabriel’s cock, guiding it into the heat of his puckered hole bit by bit. 

Every time they do this, Gabi wakes up feeling like the world's stupidest clown, honking nose and all. But this is all he ever wants, this warmth, Franco crying out his name as he bounces on his cock, desperate, wanton moans as precums leaks out of him. Gabi kisses his neck, the column of his throat, the scar across his collarbone, takes into his mouth the silver cross he always wears and sucks as he tries to jerk him off while Franco loses track of himself, mumbling and cursing and shouting. 

Gabi wonders how soundproof the walls are, how likely they are to get an angry neighbour pounding on their door, how likely someone is to be jealous, to want what he has now. He’ll regret it in the morning, but for now his lips part and his teeth sink into the junction where shoulder meets neck and Franco shouts, leaking all over Gabriel’s stomach. 

The bite was deep enough to draw blood. Gabi comes from the sight of it alone.

Well this was fucking devastating

been reading through the simi archives and was thinking about rookie seb - more specifically, when kimi and seb were going out and kimi took shots for seb (iirc) so I've been thinking about the inverse - fic where seb doesn't want to let kimi baby him and takes all the drinks that night (even though kimi obviously doesnt need it with his alcohol tolerance) and then of course seb ends up dead drunk and then kimi has to haul him back to the hotel - seb making grand declarations of love while being piggybacked by kimi (i think seb is a talkative drunk, much like kimi, but seb is noisy normally so it's just less obvious)

just having simi fluff thoughts 😔 kimi giving seb a forehead kiss while tucking him into bed so seb doesn't drunkenly roll off - and waking up with seb plastered against him the next morning (unable to roll off the bed, there is only one way for seb to go)

Hello! This prompt was AMAZING and it became a 2.7k fic this time! I hope you enjoy!

daniel ricciardo X i know it's over by the smiths

(inspired by it being his favorite smiths song, featured on his 3x3 playlist)

williams racing f1 / alex albon / carlos sainz || there's always this year, hanif abdurraqib

My weird observation lately was that how is it usually Oscar grabbing other’s thumb when doing handshake, but with Carlos, the handshake is firm and like, locked it.

whenever someone calls a man "of beekeeping age" my mind immediately goes to the man the myth the legend sebastian vettel by the way