She's Fading Away.

Love is so strange.

It's different for different people.

And it's different during different seasons.

It was a summer afternoon in May,

when I loved someone for the very first time.

I felt like somebody had sprinkled fairy dust inside me.

It felt all tingly and sparkly and good in every way.

Then autumn came and it was September,

when you said you loved me for the first time.

I knew what butterflies felt like in my tummy.

A beautiful cool sensation, jittery yet so magical.

But soon after, winter visited as well.

I was left alone on the park bench,

in the midst of December,

while you held her hand and walked away.

The fairy dust of the summer,

started choking me up.

I ran home and closed the bathroom door.

And ended up puking all over.

I guess those were the butterflies I felt in Autumn,

now all dead and garbage.

As I waited for the winter to pass,

I dreaded the arrival of summer.

I didn't want no more fairy dust and butterflies.

All I wanted was to be me again.

To stop feeling dead and grey all the time.

It was February suddenly,

and I was walking to my favourite coffee shop.

I hadn't been there in a while,

and I missed it like anything.

Half way through my favourite book,

you stumbled upon me and fell.

We smiled and apologized,

and I extended my hand out to you.

It was when you grabbed my outstretched hand,

that I suddenly remembered spring existed as well.

© Moonyloonywitch

10/08/2021

Singing your praises to the stars have kept me alive for the last few centuries, but now that you've found another to orbit around, will it make a difference if I burn brighter than the sun until my wings have caught fire and I look like the dream you see in your sleep?

I can forget the pain of a few burns if it means keeping you warm.

It's the light brown color of my tired sighs and the warm pink of my sleepy snores. The monotonous rambling of my mind brings to life the precious olive green in my soul. The songs I know by heart, that are always at the tip of my lips, shines in a soft earthy brown glow. If there was a colour to describe the way my heart swells everytime I watch the sun go down in the far horizon, it would be a mild beige tinted with a pretty rosy flavour. And when I look at myself in the mirror, when I see the person I have become, I can see the turquoise of my soul smiling softly over my head. I don't know what color my aura is but all that matters is how beautifully I glow when I smile at myself.

Brown for the earth's child that I am, that I always was.

Pink for the pretty parts in me that I've started to fall in love with.

Green for my soul that has slowly started healing from within.

Beige for the ways I am always there for me.

Turquoise for how much alive I am and how beautiful it is to create and grow like I do now.

What is your color palette at this point in your life?

It doesn't matter if I try or not.

I'll end up in the sky a star.

But what matters is if you'll be there or not.

Beside me, glowing like the sun you are.

All that ever matters is you.

And if I wake up a star and not find you beside me,

know that I'll die over and over again.

A black hole forming at every attempt.

And until I find you I'll keep exploding.

Till I know the warmth on my face is your light.

Maybe that's how galaxies are formed.

Each one an attempt at a love story.

And thus the universe keeps on expanding.

How can it not?

When there are millions of us still searching for love.

© Moonyloonywitch

01/09/2021

Sometimes you meet someone.

And suddenly all your poems are about them.

I am tired of writing about you.

But I can't seem to write about anything else.

I can't make you perfect, because you're not.

Yet all the lines I have ever written are full of love.

For you, I guess.

Because ever since we met,

my heart has always spoken your name.

In whispers, and then as songs.

Now in paintings and poems,

your existence sprawls across the walls of my house.

I only realised that it was love,

when pastel yellows became too beautiful to ignore.

Stupid thing love,

making me wait and hope,

when all this time you never were here.

I feel like I am inside a snow globe,

enchanted to stay a happy sight forever.

But deep within the walls of my heart and soul,

the winter of your absence has turned an ugly grey.

The snow no longer pure and white,

but tinted with the fading colours of my heartbreak,

and the lost yellows of your smile.

Pain still lingers,

in places you left untouched.

Craving for a healing,

that never found its way to me.

No one deserves this slow death,

but I'll be lying if say I hate it.

Sweet words unspoken,

make cuts deeper than oceans.

Yet you left it that way,

knowing I'd never survive by myself.

Maybe I was wrong when I thought I loved you.

Maybe I just loved myself a little less.

© Moonyloonywitch

01/08/2021

10:50 am

I stand there like a fool lost in my thoughts.

You move away from me and just go on.

Silent screams bursts my eardrums.

But nobody hears a sound at all.

Tears fall like a broken dam,

like water rushing without an aim.

My mind have gone numb now.

And all I can see is black.

The bright spot of light is you,

and as I watch, it slowly fades away too.

Darkness is supposed to be a comfort.

But not when you've taken my heart.

A heartless body is an empty vessel,

and the dark seeps into me like spilled blood.

I can feel the cold from inside,

killing the last of the warmth within.

The embers of my fire are about to die down.

Too weak to stand up again,

I lay down and give in to the earth's embrace.

It's soft and moist.

But not warm and safe like your arms.

Before you vanish into the abyss,

turn around and dig a grave.

Bury my thoughts of you in there.

And plant a daffodil on top.

Let us go seperate ways now,

before your sighs bring me back to life again.

© Moonyloonywitch

Phantom Limb

deep

in the

forest

of dreams

I come upon

your

resting place

a headstone

in the center

of a clearing

where all

my thoughts

of you

are buried

reverently

I touch it

to remind

myself

what

I have lost

I thought you'd turn back.

I thought you'd reach out for my hand.

I fell thinking you'd be there at the end.

But all that remained were ghosts of promises.

Perhaps I should've screamed harder,

when you left me there in the dark.

All I ever knew was your touch.

And all I ever did was wait for your return.

Silence lays above the trees.

But the storm within me rages on.

I need you to make me warm again.

A gentle touch of yours is enough to calm me.

Please don't go along now that you're free.

Every once in a while come by me.

Without your hot tears and quiet voice,

the bones in me are all lonely.

One by one they call out to you.

Letters of my name make up the loneliest number,

when you no longer whisper them at night.

How long do I sit and wait around

I am suffocating in all this slowness

I am tired of acting like I enjoy the day

I can't anymore

I need adventures and uneaseness

I need to be under a tree unpacking a travel bag

searching for that quick bite before I resume

I need to be under the stars and counting the big ones

I can't sit at a window and look at the passing cars

I can't sit around and dance to another melody

I need to be out in the wilderness and battling for breath

I need to know that I am alive and here

And not just another painting on the wall

in the living room that's beige.