The Yellow Letter Sits On My Table.

in the softness of your voice, telling me that everything is going to be okay.

I belived, in the way your eyes sparkled when I smiled and hugged back.

I believed, that day on our porch, in the love that we shared.

And after so many more such beliefs, here I stand beside your grave. Not knowing what to do or where to go.

I believed you when you said we had an eternity.

We didn't.

You lied.

And I believed.

I believed

splinters of infinity.

i wish you could see through my kaleidoscopic eyes; my skies are forever echoing your light. at first light, my tongue salivated for you. you stirred something in me, like falling for a poem at first verse. the heart is delicate in matters like this; heart-strings fraying from carrying an immense weight. i know how supple your verses are, that was given but what spurred me was how gently words blossomed on your tongue; you’d envelop the night with whispers of warmth. sometimes i’m convinced you’re celestial, the moons in your eyes seem to suggest so.   my tongue knows you by name, but the heart knows you by poetry. by one a.m. the night starts to settle in sleepy serenades. the moon is a burning ember we extinguished hours ago so we swallow the stars instead becoming starlit by our own premise. tidal silence; in waves came conversations that we peered into one another’s soul, other times we sat there simmering peacefully in the sounds of nighttime in downtown.   i think of your hands – still, wanting to lock my fingers between the gap in yours. perhaps i look fondly upon them since i know your mothers used hers to be destructive, and you’ve only used yours to be creative, nurturing, gentle, and soft. you could do a better job at kneading words into poetry.   we are verses tangled in the cosmos.

Grab your dreams in your hands and sprinkle them while you take a walk. Let the others after your time follow the trail and find their own treasure. Because even if you didn't make it, at least they will. And that means you did make it. Planting hope in the depth of a soul is the closest that we humans can come to being gods.

I am sorry I couldn't create a safe place for you.

I am sorry I couldn't be brave enough to let you be you.

I am sorry for all the times I made you say you hate pink (we love it now).

I am sorry for trying too hard sometimes and not trying at all other times.

I am sorry that you had to face all those years alone, without someone to hold you close.

I am sorry for letting you go when I should've held onto you tighter.

I am sorry for thinking that shutting you out will make me feel like I belong somewhere, anywhere.

I am sorry for abandoning you when all you ever had was me.

But now, little one, we are here. You and I, both of us are safe in this space that I have started to call 'heart'.

Cry all you want, I'll hold you. Be fierce, be gentle, be everything that you've wanted to be. I am here and you can be you.

Sweet young child, you're safe in my hands.

And we'll be okay. I love you, and that's all that matters.

To my younger self,

I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. I'm sorry that I didn't stop you from harms. I'm sorry that now you're too broken to be put together

It was never your fault. It was never your fault. It was never your fault. Not your fault. Not your fault. Not your fault. Not your fault

Do I wish for someone to look at me and think that I am the most beautiful painting they've ever seen?

Do I wish for someone to hold me oh so softly, afraid that they'll hurt me if the grip is even a little tight?

Do I wish for someone to think of how it would feel to kiss me, to be kissed by me?

Do I wish for someone to think of me when they see purple sunsets and orange dawns?

Do I wish for someone to tell me that they've been thinking about me the whole day?

Do I wish for someone sing to me and cuddle me to sleep?

Do I wish for someone who can't stop thinking about a beautiful future where we belong together?

Yes.

I wish that.

All of it.

But most days I wish someone would just smile at me.

I stand there like a fool lost in my thoughts.

You move away from me and just go on.

Silent screams bursts my eardrums.

But nobody hears a sound at all.

Tears fall like a broken dam,

like water rushing without an aim.

My mind have gone numb now.

And all I can see is black.

The bright spot of light is you,

and as I watch, it slowly fades away too.

Darkness is supposed to be a comfort.

But not when you've taken my heart.

A heartless body is an empty vessel,

and the dark seeps into me like spilled blood.

I can feel the cold from inside,

killing the last of the warmth within.

The embers of my fire are about to die down.

Too weak to stand up again,

I lay down and give in to the earth's embrace.

It's soft and moist.

But not warm and safe like your arms.

Before you vanish into the abyss,

turn around and dig a grave.

Bury my thoughts of you in there.

And plant a daffodil on top.

Let us go seperate ways now,

before your sighs bring me back to life again.

© Moonyloonywitch

Love is never enough,

and promises are empty words in the end.

Why did we let go of each other?

Maybe we should've held hands tighter,

and run away far into the universe.

But now it's too late.

You've found another.

Life is too short to cry over past lovers.

But I hope I find you again.

Somewhere along the border of the galaxy.

You just walked away like that.

And took all of my words with you.

I am left with an empty pen,

and an even emptier heart.

Where do I go from here?

Back to the misery that I came from,

or the uncertain darkness that lay ahead.

Maybe I'll rest here for a while.

Under the fading glow of the moon,

with the silence of the sky to keep me company.

It's not that I can't move on.

I just want to linger here a little more,

to trace my fingers through the blurring outlines of our fates.

Let the dying sun go in peace.

And soon enough I'll be gone from your name too.

Till then say yes to the whsipers I've sent with the wind.

Tell me that it was a good story.

And that you loved me once.

Beauty of nature is not found without.

It exists at the end of your every neuron.

It's always the sun in someone's eyes that attracts the night in their hearts