I Found This Picture A While Ago. Idk Why But It Just Fills Me Up With Joy. The Dog Is So Happy

where's that quote abt like. being embarrassed abt the thinness of ur life the way ur embarrassed by a threadbare piece of clothing. bc like yeah

I very rarely feel like I'm actually in the moment. like 95 % of time I feel like there's a thin veil between me and reality. I'm never present I'm never there

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

thinking about how when you punch a mirror so that it cracks and fractures into multiple shards reflecting your own visage back at you, you're really just ironically surrounding yourself with more of the self you loathe in your quest to attain self-destruction. the grotesque reproductive quality of gouging pieces from yourself in order to lessen the burden of existence, and in the process only proliferating more individual aspects of You, shedding them as you go. much to consider.

fuuuuuck i have needs and wants and desires :( sadly they needto put me at the bottom of a deep as fuck hole and pour cement over me because of this

I had to find this post. I read this in 2017 and it had a profound effect on me. I couldn’t stop saying it. It was echolalia. And now to this day, for seven years, I can still quote it perfectly Word for Word and often do when I do something stupid. This is the perfect post in my opinion 

"you should be at the club" I should be working on my fanfic