Ur First And Last Recent Emojis Are Ur Gender Now. Mine Is 🅱👨‍❤‍💋‍👨

A thought I had in the shower.

Shipping is weird. And I’m not saying it in a bad way or that shipping is wrong I’m just saying it toes an odd line. See with most ships it runs along the lines of ‘we know it’s not gonna happen but it would be cute if it did’, or some ships that have some form of possibility to them. DNF for example, we pretty much know it’s not gonna happen because (I’m fairly sure) Dream and George are straight. It would also absolutely destroy the Internet if it did happen. Then you have Karlnap, a ship that we know is probably not going to happen but we honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it did. Then there’s Skephalo.

Skephalo is in a category of its own. On one hand it is shipping, we don’t think it’s gonna happen. But we don’t actually? There are some interactions that are kinda questionable, where I am not entirely sure if it’s purely platonic. I don’t want to push ships on anyone or put pressure on Skeppy and Bad but you have to admit at this point no one is 100% sure what their relationship is.

Imagine Norman attacking Jimmy because he smells like a fish. I also headcannon Jimmy with a fish tail, so like imagine Jimmy is just standing there talking to someone and all of a sudden he jumps back and looks down to see Norman had randomly attacked his tail and is now looking up at him like a angel. Ahem here is it in fanfic form.

“-so yeah that’s why I really need this slime.” Pix says, holding a barrel of slime. “Can’t wait to see how it turns out.” He replies as they walk to the dock, not noticing the little shadow stalking them.

“Alright well it’s a bit of a trek back to Pixandria so I best be going.” Pix states equipping his elytra. “Yeah safe trav- ouch!” Jimmy’s yelps, feeling a stinging pain on his tail. He whirls around to see what had cause it, only to see Norman sitting there looking up at him with a face of innocence. “Did-did you just attack me?!” He says to Norman, flabbergasted. Norman doesn’t reply and just runs off to who knows where. Jimmy stands shocked for a minute while Pix is dying of laughter. “Better watch out Jimmy, Norman is apparently looking to take a bite out of you.” Pix says through his chuckles. “Your sleeping outside tonight!” Jimmy yells at Norman who’s off in the distance, knowing fully well he won’t follow through with the threat.

Sorry If that’s kinda a abrupt ending but I couldn’t find a way to end it. I am not a writer and it shows😓

HEY DISCORD USERS!!

unfortunately, discord continues to be the Worst Messaging Company Of All Time with its updates, and this time, its one that is not only a privacy violation, not only enabled by default, but ROLLED OUT SILENTLY, MEANING YOU MUST KNOW IT EXISTS TO TURN IT OFF.

i am talking about "clips", an exciting new feature /s that allows people to record you in voice chat without your knowledge or consent! Wow!

fortunately, you can turn this off, but its kinda shitty how they didnt tell you this existed at all, yeah?

settings > clips> the button should be clicked to turn it off

(note that it should be ON by default, you will have to click the button to turn it off)

thanks, discord, for Telling Us This Violating Setting Exists In An Update And Making Sure It Is Off By Default. /s.

reblogs are appreciated to spread the word.

Empiresblr is absolutely broken right now. thank you Scott

(Seen on FB)

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE. 

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.

I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.

I wanted to have something more substantial.

Something more profound.

But I didn’t.

So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?

But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!

(by Kate Scott 2018)

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.

Short queen

probably my most powerful interpersonal communication hack is to, whenever possible, ask either/or questions rather than yes/no questions

for example, when chatting with coworkers, i’ll often ask if they have any fun weekend plans. but let’s be real - we all feel like friendless losers when someone asks that question and we go “uhhhhh… no.” so instead, i phrase it as “so, do you have anything fun planned over the weekend, or are you just going to enjoy having some time to relax?”

phrased like this, there’s rarely any awkwardness. you’ve presented two options & given both equally positive connotations, so your conversational partner has an automatic “out,” so to speak

but it works for higher stakes conversations too!!!! my mom was saying this weekend how she and her neighbor both like walking around the neighborhood & that she wanted to suggest they take a walk together sometime, but was worried about how to approach the conversation

so i said “how about you just say ‘i’ve noticed we both like taking walks! would you be interested in going for one together, or do you use walks for some precious alone time?’”

now Walking Neighbor has an automatic “get out of jail free card” if she wants to say no!!!! which means my mom doesn’t have to worry about the conversation being uncomfortable, because she’s set it up to go smoothly

either/or questions rather than yes/no questions. it is really like magic

When was this stream?

atleast they still have each other

(the sapnap lore stream still be fcking me up im ngl)

florist!simon and tattoo artist!johnny part 2

johnny’s so worked up when he pushes through the door of simon’s shop, he’s exclaiming some shit in scottish and holding up the rose simon left him in the air like it’s some sort of evidence.

simon’s in the middle of making a flower arrangement and simply blinks at the gibberish directed his way, but hides a sly smirk under his surgical mask.

johnny saunters towards the counter, puts on his best smile, and simon swears the flowers around him start swooning and singing and becoming more aromatic the second he opens his mouth and spews some charming words at him.

he crosses his arms, tilts his head as he stares down at johnny but the bastard doesn’t falter, just keeps talking and flirting and fuck his eyes are so blue and he can see the outline of his biceps through the material of his shirt and he can smell his fucking cologne and did simon hear him correctly?

a date? friday, 6pm? johnny will pick him up? with his bike? oh god. simon hasn’t been on a date in years months, let alone have someone plan it instead of him. he’s practically pulling on a veil and a massive white wedding bouquet from behind his back for this stranger he left a rose for as a little gift.

he behaves like a bastard though, tells johnny to buy something from him and maaaaybe he’ll consider the date.

johnny immediately pays 100 pounds for the biggest fucking bouquet simon can make, tells him to pick only the freshest and simon’s favorite flowers, makes simon explain the meaning of every flower and its color, and when simon ties the prettiest bow around the fat stems, johnny tells him it’s beautiful. now take it home and put it in a nice vase in your living room and wait until i get you another one on friday.

simon’s raising his eyebrows but is kicking his fucking feet like a teenage girl inwardly.

johnny leaves with simon’s number scribbled on a piece of paper, twirling the red rose between his fingers. simon watches him go, then looks back at the bouquet—massive, extravagant, borderline ridiculous, just like johnny requested. and in the middle of it, nestled among the other flowers, is another red rose.

‘so ye don’t forget about me,’ johnny had said, grinning as simon tucked it into place in the middle of the arrangement.

as if simon fucking could.