Haven't and am not watchihng th HBO version of TLOU, nor am I promoting it, bc not only does S2 change so much to the point where it doesnt feel right but also, Neil Drunkmann is a zionist that donated money to Israel! However! I keep thinking about why the idea of Abby being as small as she is in the show bothers me so much and its not just because they did the thing where they take a conventionally "unattractive" woman and change something significant about her to make her more palatable to men, that is part of it, but another reason is simply the fact that game Abby is genuinely frightening. We saw her kill Joel, we see the way she fights - she didnt NEED that man to be injured to take him down that was the whole point of her getting as big as she did. What Abby did to Joel in the game was calculated. It was planned to be that way because she wanted that man to suffer in death. You don't shoot a guy then tourniquet his leg right after because you want him to die fast.
She could have shot him, slashed him with an axe/machete/knife, hell she could have pummeled him with her bare hands and gave him a quicker death if we're being honest, but she didn't? Why would she? He put her dad down like a sick dog and Jerry couldn't really do anything to fight back. She made sure Joel would feel similarly to how her father probably felt in that moment - useless to help himself. And then she beat him into a pulp. It was personal. It felt personal. She looked pained and hurt and angry and even later in the game (before Lev) we see her doubt herself in regard to it.
When we get to show Abby the reasoning for shooting him falls apart in a way? And considering thatt so much of her arc is shaped by Joel's murder it makes her story feel less thought out. Like I said I havent seen it so I could be missing key details (which I doubt), but not only did they apparently make her weirdly attracted to the man that murdered her father but they also just made her utterly unintimidating. That "Abby" didnt have a choice but to shoot Joel first because she simply doesn't look like she has the strength to take him down. It feels less personal based off that alone. And I can't imagine what it's gonna be like near the end where she takes down the rat king or when she and Ellie are fighting (pre rattlers) - and speaking of rattlers - how the fuck do they intend on recreating tht feeling of "Oh my god, thats...that can't be Abby" that myself and I'm sure most people playing the game felt when Ellie cut her down from the post on the beach. I don't know it just sucks seeing one of my favorite games not only be surrounded by and in some ways rooted in zionism, but just seeing this happen again, where the story of a female character is changed significantly from something solid and well written into some fuck shit because they're too scared to show a "unattractive" woman on screen. People suck, I hate it here
under a winter storm watch in fucking florida omg
Thinking of this movie again
(Doodles from my sketchbook)
It is so annoying when people respond to "the queer community has an anti-masc problem" with "well society loves and praises masculinity!" Okay... yes... but that's not what we're talking about 😭 The queer community ≠ society as a whole. Also? The society that praises masculinity does NOT praise queer masculinity. Cishet society does not praise butches, masculine trans people, or anyone who is masc in a queer way. And unfortunately, many queer people have this same problem.
a (very ad-hoc) list of butch reading and writing, (mostly) by butch authors. books I've read myself in bold; take the rest with a grain of salt. additions, addendums, and commentary welcome :)
(you can find my list of femme literature here)
mrs s by k patrick
stone butch blues by leslie feinberg
boulder by eva baltasar
running fiercely towards a thin high sounds by judith katz
tipping the velvet by sarah waters
a crystal diary by frankie hucklenbroich
godspeed by lynn breedlove
cha-ching! by ali liebegott
the ihop papers by ali liebegott
greasepaint by hannah levene
lucy and mickey by red jordan arobateau
the bull-jean stories by sharon bridgforth
development by bryher
notes of a crocodile by qiu miaojin
america is not the heart by elaine castillo
the slow fix by ivan coyote
the swashbuckler by lee lynch
old dyke tales by lee lynch
gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir
the unspoken name by ak larkwood
vermilion by molly tanzer
metal from heaven by august clarke
scapegracers by ha clarke
the unbroken by cl clarke
fire logic by laurie marks
the seep by chana porter
these burning stars by bethany jacobs
feast while you can by mikaella clements and onjuli datta
hijab butch blues by lamya h
gender failure by ivan coyote and rae spoon
fun home by allison bechdel
butch is a noun by h bear bergman
female masculinity by jack halberstam
burning butch by rb murtz
when we were outlaws by jeanne cordova
leaving isn't the hardest thing by lauren hough
odd girls and twilight lovers by lillian faderman
another mother tongue by judy grahn
boots of leather, slippers of gold by elizabeth lapovsky and madeline davis
the persistent desire ed joan nestle
persistence: all way butch and femme ed ivan coyote and zena sharman
dagger: on butch women ed lily burana
ok so i know that torture doesn’t actually work but for the sake of our t4t rp session you gotta pretend that that it at least works a little.
Circle of Thomas Eakins. Female nude reclining on floor, head on pillow, 1880's.
I LOVE PREDATORY WOMEN!!! I LOVE WOMEN WHO ARE PERVERTS!!! I LOVE WOMEN WITH DEPRAVED AND ‘GROSS’ KINKS!!!!
Illustrations from Stories from Hans Christian Andersen by Edmund Dulac (1911)
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Angel I saw in a dream