Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me-

The problem with Batman in his present incarnation is that we need simultaneously to believe that this is a man who can effortlessly ninja his way through dozens of gun-toting mercenaries, and that this is a man to whom Danny DeVito with an umbrella is a credible threat.

You know how Jason is a Crime Lord in Gotham but also goes to other cities and does stuff there? I think in basically every city Jason has a dedicated goon-base because they heard what he does in Gotham and want it to happen there as well. Like, Jason’s second handles all the stuff and thinks Jason knows but he really doesn’t.

Oh this is perfect I want it

Oh, and what about accidental international crime boss?

Like, Jason’s in, idk, London or something, and this one guy he knows shows up and is like, “hey boss, great news. We’ve completely taken over the criminal underworld of the UK.”

And then Jason’s just left there to process that.

Although that might go a ways in explaining how and why he keeps getting presents from the Italian mafia…

Danny has an Ice Core.

He isn't aware of it, but this does, in fact, greatly influence how his ghost form looks as he grows up.

His appearance starts getting more rugged, eyes a paler, more piercing green, hair a bit more uncontrollable and wild.

He packs muscle easily, even in human form.

When in ghost form, he has an aura of something patient and dangerous, and that sense only grows the older he gets.

Basically, our boy starts to look like a viking.

No matter how goofy and bumbling he really is, his first impression is always a horrifying moment for whoever is meeting him.

And as his ghost form grows with his human form, he outgrows his hazmat outfit. Frostbite and the Far Frozen fashion him some new clothes-which only compliment and play off of the viking aesthetic he's got going on.

And with the height he inherited from his father?

Our man is a very, very intimidating figure to look at. More so than Dan; because while Dan was dangerous and scary, he was all energy and lightning and rage.

Adult Danny comes across as lethal and terrifying, all ice and persistence and that final, terrible silence before you realize you've already died.

Dan felt like the warrior in front of you. Danny feels like the wilderness in winter, vast and unforgiving.

Anyways, when a summoning for Klarion goes horribly wrong and Danny gets called instead, the Justice League has a moment where they're convinced they've summoned something much, much worse than Klarion.

And Danny, standing there completely confused, is not helping by remaining silent and still while staring John Constantine in the eye.

Good news, the bad guys are also very concerned about the weird ghost viking and are actually moving to stand side by side with the Justice League on this.

Bad news, who the fuck is this guy?

"...Fuck," is all Constantine whispers, backing away slowly.

@simplestoryteller

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

Shazam AU, where Billy keeps his powers even when he’s not Shazam. The only reason he turns into Shazam is to keep a secret identity.  Imagine a villain “depowering” him, only to get curbed-stomped by a 10-year-old.



   In relation to dragons, especially those posts about their monocular vision, I’d like to pitch a fantasy concept here-  

  The usual view of dragon riders is that the riders get a lot out of it and dragons, eh, dragons get something. Something intangible and ill defined and usually not a good enough reason to really justify it.

  But what about dragons that bond with humans because humans offer a massive tactical advantage.

   Okay, say you’re some scrawny fucking dragon. And like, you’re not doing bad for yourself- 40 feet of well armored fire breathing death does pretty decently by definition- but in the pecking order of dragons, you’re pretty low. You get your ass kicked if you try to challenge any big players.

  And then one day you come upon this human- this weird fucker out in the middle of the woods yelling nonsense and you’re fine to move along but all of a sudden there’s a huge pull on the natural energy around you and you get whacked with this surge of light-

  And you’ve mind melded with the fucker.

 You’re both trying to figure out what’s going on, and all of a sudden, of course, rolls in a bigger dragon who’s going to beat the shit out of you for being in their territory.

  So you’re trying to fly away, this human is clinging to you like their life depends on it, this bigger dragon is trying to kill you. It’s a bad day. But the human scrambles up on top of you and you realize, hey, for some reason you can see out of their eyes. You’ve got near 360 degree monocular vision (which you’re used to) but now like 100 degrees of super sharp depth perception on top of that. Which is actually letting you dodge a lot better. And you’re thinking faster- you can hear- feel?- the humans thoughts, and they’re pretty fast and smart thinkers too.

   So you’re actually, now, suddenly turning the tables on this fight. The other dragon is bigger but now that’s working against them because your increased vision and reaction time lend themselves to speed. And then there’s this huge fucking pull on your energy, like massive- and a fucking lightning bolt shoots out and whacks the other dragon out of the sky. Like, oh, dragon-jesus, that’s what humans can do with magic?

   So all of a sudden, you have this tiny squishy meatbag that’s transformed you from bottom of the pecking order to Top Dragon In Town because you have better vision and reflexes and you can use them as a locus for precise magical spells by mind melding with this tiny punk.

   So of course you sit down and figure out how the fuck you melded in the first place and do it again. And dragon society is transformed, because now it favors the most social dragons, the ones able to mind-meld with humans the best. Because those ones get massive tactical advantages. So having human riders makes actual fucking sense. It’s basically a matter of survival.   

Of coure I reblog. It really matter. And I'm disgusted by everyone who don't take this seriously.

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

jason: soooo, who's the new guy?

billy, currently sitting in the manor's living room eating a sandwich: hi

damian: i'm just as lost as you are

dick, inspecting billy carefully: wait a minute. blue eyes, black hair, around ten/eleven-ish

tim, catching up: oh shit, do you happen to be an orphan by any chance, new guy?

billy, very confused: yeah? how did you know?

dick: fucking hell bruce! you adopted another kid and you didn't tell us! again!

bruce, entering the room, also confused: what?

damian: pennyworth won't be happy about this, father

jason: i thought we were past this, bruce. we already talked, you cannot fill the void with even more stray kids who somewhat resemble younger you

tim, sighing: where did you kidnap him from this time?

bruce:

billy: uhh i think there's been a misunderstanding...

bruce, so done with this shit: boys, i'd like you to meet captain marvel

dick, jason, tim, damian: o h ?