This Is Random But...

Logan: I can't believe you've done this.....

Wade: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Logan, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

5th wheel Izzy is my spirit animal

Slaxl, Stuff , and Forever Alone Izzy.

Wade: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.

Logan: Why?

Wade, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

I'm just gonna leave this here

I'm deeply sorry

okay but imagine being head over heels for a girl, having her ask you to get her off with a vibrator, actually going through with it, and laying down in her bed together with a glass of post coitus chocolate milk between you only for her to tell you that she doesn't want to die a virgin and needs to fuck some random asshole before she goes. like girl was your pussy not involved in the sex we just had or does that not count because I haven't gone to my phalloplasty appointment yet?

The Poker Game

Title: The Poker Game

Summary:  Vince Neil, Axl Rose, Bret Michaels, Sebastian Bach, Jani Lane, and Jon Bon Jovi are sitting down for a poker game. Vince is a little low to make the bet, but he knows that his hand is the winner. He just knows it.

Warnings: Language mainly

AN: Tommy x Nikki, Slash x Axl. Just a random crack fic that I came up with because I was bored af.

Keep reading

Michelle

part 4 (a)

a/n: well ive been putting this off for ages x

warnings: uh idk just read with caution i cant fucking remember, kinda hinted sexual stuff, CLIFFHANGER 🏋🏽‍♂️

part 3

Weeks had passed. Nothing had happened. Although Izzy was starting to feel used the more he was with Axl. Slash avoided Axl like the plague, but when he couldn't, Axl would show off Izzy in the most intimate ways. From an outsiders perspective, they simply looked like newfound lovers. But in reality, they were never intimate unless Slash was around.

Slash decided to spend all of his time with Nat. She had been going out on dates with Michelle, who Slash still hadn't met. Until today.

Michelle was this tan, curly black haired girl who was much taller than both of them. She was stunning, like a model. "You're Slash?" Michelle asks. He nods. Michelle laughs, "what kind of name is Slash?" He glares at her, was she stupid? Or was she just trying to be irritating?

Slash immediately didn't like her. She had this strange vibe. He didn't like it. "It's a nickname, actually. My name's Saul, but everyone calls me Slash. You will too," he says. Nat gives him a look as if to say 'what are you doing?'. Michelle gives him a strange look, "I will too?" She asks. Slash nods, "only people I'm close with call me Saul." Slash states, quite bluntly, but he doesn't care. There's something off about this woman.

Throughout their lunch period, Slash notices several things wrong with Michelle. They were in a secluded area, so they didn't have to hide from anyone.

Multiple times, Nat tried to kiss Michelle, and each time, it ended up as a peck on the cheek, seemingly by accident. Slash knew better.

Nat would try to hold her hand or put her arm around her, and Michelle would come up with a different excuse to get up momentarily.

Michelle had mentioned all of her past ex boyfriends. Boyfriends. Not a single girlfriend.

Michelle was friends with some of the most popular people in school, including the two guys who had attacked Slash after he was outed.

When lunch was over, Michelle hurried off way too quickly for Slash's liking. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Nat asks, punching him in the arm. Slash lets out a pained sound, "Owwwhat?!" He glares at her, rubbing his arm. "You were so rude to her! What was that about?!" She looked genuinely angry at him, which worried him. She was completely manipulated by this girl.

Slash sighs, deciding to tell her the truth, "I don't trust her, Nat." She glares at him, "what do you mean? You only just met her!" Slash groans, "She had an off vibe! There's something she's hiding, something she's keeping from you! I mean, did you not see how many times she shot you down when you tried to hold hands, or kiss, or hug, or do anything remotely couple like?" Nat sighs, "she's new to the school! She doesn't know it like we do. She was probably scared of getting caught!"

Slash takes a deep breath, "just be careful around her, please? She's friends with the most popular people in school so just be careful, okay?" Nat rolls her eyes, "fine." She decides to tell him what he wants to hear, even with no real intention of 'being careful'.

Nat hurries off to class before he can say anything else. Slash sighs. He turns around to go to his own class and bumps into Izzy. He panics slightly and mentally prepares himself for a scene in front of everyone. Instead, Izzy looks at him, "hey, sorry man. Didn't see you turning," he shrugs and walks on. He wasn't trying to be rude and Slash could tell.

Slash follows him with his eyes. Izzy seemed like a genuinely nice, laid-back guy who he could probably get along with well. The only problem was Axl. Izzy was being used. Slash almost felt bad for him until he saw Axl grabbing him once again in suggestive ways to piss Slash off and still keep their relationship hidden.

Slash stands there staring at them. For some reason, this particular moment really angered him.

Izzy smiled nervously at Axl and said something to him before walking off to class. Axl starts walking in a different direction. Slash decides to follow him, knowing he was skipping his last two classes of the day.

They get to the tree when Slash loses his temper, "what the fuck is wrong with you!? What are you trying to do!?" Axl stops and turns to look at him, "you creep, did you follow me here?" Slash nods, "yeah, I did. I'm sick of this. Why are you using that guy? What's he done to you? Nothing! You're just trying to piss me off! You're hurt because of what I said and did, and I get that, but that doesn't mean you get to use someone else! He's a person too, and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, and he doesn't deserve to be absolutely flat out miserable with you, knowing he means nothing to you! And what's worse is i can tell you originally just wanted to hang out with him but for some reason your sick and fucking twisted mind decided he would be the perfect 'thing' to use for the sole purpose of trying to piss me off and it's not fair! It's not fucking fair, Ax!"

Axl stands there, completely dumbfounded. Slash storms off before letting Axl reply. He walks around for a while before realising he hasn't eaten. He walks to Natalie's dad's diner to get food. He stays there until the end of the school day before walking back to school because he still wants to take Nat home.

He sees her walking hurriedly to the gate and grabs her arm, "hey, where are you going?" She looks up at him, "home?" Slash glares at her, "why are you in such a rush?"

"I'm meeting Michelle at her place. I need to go home and get ready!" She exclaims, Slash sighs, "alright, well, let me give you a ride, yeah?" Nat nods, "okay."

Slash gives her a ride back to her place and waits while she gets herself dolled up, then drops her off at Michelle's. He watches her walk in with the worst anxiety. Somethings not right.

For the first time, Michelle and Nat actually share a kiss. Which quickly turns into a heavy makeout session. And then stripping. But only Nat. But she doesn't realise. Michelle does everything she can to turn her into a worked up and excited mess.

She has her layer out, 'ready for her'. It's gonna happen, Nat thinks to herself. Michelle excuses herself to grab something that she claims is very important, which only fuels her excitement. After a while, she comes back.

"Is that a camera..?"

Probably almond extract

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why